Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you guys remember the story I told where I
went got a massage and a male masseuse was assigned
to me even though I requested a female messuse. Oh yeah,
this was the story that I told you where the
guy was a big burly man, very hairy, and he
leaned into my ear and asked me who's the pressure.
(00:25):
Told the story a long time ago. It was very uncomfortable.
It was the most uncomfortable massage I've ever had in
my life, the only time I've ever had a male messeuse. Wow,
and so it wasn't my favorite in the world. Well,
had a couple's massage again over the weekend when I
thought my worst nightmare was about to come true. Again.
(00:47):
We ain't done yet. It's time for the one podcast
yet completely uncensored and uncting filtered except for that part.
The show's after show starts now. So the only time
(01:07):
I get a massage is with my wife, Hupple's massage.
I've noticed that. Yeah, she will every once in a
while get one on her own, but mostly it's the
two of us. It's whether we're at a resort or
we're doing something and we do it together. Yeah, And
I don't really know why.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, there was one time we were all at a
resort together and Eddie and his wife and me and
my husband all got massages, and it was kind of
wild because we're all sitting in the little waiting room
with robes on, which normally or.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Not seeing like somebody I work with in a robe
knowing that they're naked underneath. Really weird.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
So much leg going on, but I think it'd be
really uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Look it over at Eddie in.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
The rope and the boos right there in a robe too,
which is weird.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
It's so weird. And then after like the Boo only
has cargo shorts and plaid shirts.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, yeah, and you think that would be for us,
but it wasn't because afterwards we took full advantage of
the amenities and did all the like showers and plunges
and like.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
What did happen?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
We made a day of it.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It was kind of wild double to get in there.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Come.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So, yeah, we only do couples massages mainly, and it
is kind of a standard process at this point. We
I mean, I get them maybe once every six months,
maybe if I'm lucky, if not more longer than that.
So every once in a while, we'll do this. So
was Mother's Day and so I decided, you know, it's
gonna be treat and so we'll go do the couple's
(02:43):
massage together. It'll be really fun. And so whenever you
book a massage, we do say the request, yeah, we
prefer female massage therapists. And so I guess, you know,
when you say I prefer, that's not saying it has
to be, you know, but you get you get it,
you know, And so usually it's never a problem, except
(03:04):
that one time where I went in and we went
to go get our massage, and all of a sudden,
it is a dude there and a female, and I
went oh, and I said, we requested two females. And
they were like, oh, we're really sorry, but he's the
only one available. Now we didn't we didn't get that
(03:25):
note and so we can rebook you or whatever. And
I'm like, well, I'm here like this, I'm screwed. So okay,
I guess we're doing this. And it was like the
most uncomfortable thing in the world for me, you know,
because I just the guy was he was he was
like yoked and he was kind of hairy because he
(03:46):
had like these hairy forums like Robin Williams, and it
would like rub against me and then everyone's yes, and
with that feeling was like and then when he asked me,
how's the brusher? That's when I was like, okay, all right,
thank you, thank you did because it was literally in
my ear. Yeah, he leaned into my ear. It's more
(04:07):
uncomfortable than when Emily went to that happy ending place.
I realized. End, yeah, that's actually happened a couple.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Then I stopped going to the places where there's no
sign on the window except for like an open side
he can't see through.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Stop going to those places, I would hope, so miss
something what you got over the initial they realize you're
not there for that, you know what I mean. It's
a cheap massage. Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
They do have the best prices, they really do.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
So yeah, this that was the one in the long
time I've ever had a male messeuse. And so you
know it's been fine ever since. Well, uh, we go
and get ready to have our couple's massage, and there's
always like the chill, relaxed room where you wait for
them to come get you for you and Sky were
hanging out. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what it was. And
so yeah, me and the wife are in our robes
(04:55):
and we're in the chill room.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Normally have some water with fruit, which.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I'm not a fan of. No, I don't like confused
water regular.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Nor do you want to read this travel magazine that's
right here next to your lounger.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Nor do I want to make a hear you they have? Honey,
I'm good. I love thee Then I'm not to Peter
in the massage. It's terrible, thank you, it's terrible. I mean,
how fast is closer through? I'm good, I'm good. Let
me chill. I'm listening to the SPA music's use Zach. Yeah,
so not even music. It's always like that Asian you
(05:33):
know kind of and there's there's usually like some sort
of like nature sounds.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
There's birds go yea, all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So you know, I'm listening to all that. I'm just chilling. Ma,
I'm in the zone now. When the door swings open
and it's only me and Debora in there, and our
incomes are therapists and they walk in and again, to
my horror, it is a female and a male. Oh no,
(06:05):
not again. Good he's a prushers a brusher, like, how
could this be? Well, the one girl, the female, real
cute girl, like she's she's super attractive, and went, oh man,
what the heck? And then this really giant dude, big dude, yes,
(06:30):
and I'm like, oh man again, Okay, why is this?
Why did this happen? This sucks? Yeah, So the lady
goes Eddie Deborah. But you know, I'm like, okay, So
we get up, you know how it goes. So they
we come walking up and I'm stunned because the female
(06:51):
makes eye contact with me, reaches out her hand and says,
I'm so and so Eddie, I'm your massage therapist. Oh
that's huge. Yeah, instant relief. But then I go, wait
a minute, that big dude is going to be rubbing
down my wife. How do you feel? I don't know.
It's never happened in the history of our massages, nor
(07:15):
even her solo massage. She gets a female message. Yeah
she's not comforting. I mean, she's very you know, proper,
She ain't she ain't going dude, which whatever. I mean,
if she got one, I wouldn't probably care that much.
But I mean I'm in the room like this is
really weird. So I'm like, oh, shit, like this is
gonna be and I don't know how she's going to
(07:35):
react about the pressure. First of all, I'm thrilled because
I got this hot ship rubbing me down. And I'm like, yeah,
this is awesome, this is awesome. And so and I go,
your problem now, lady, I'm not saying ship. I'm gonna
let her.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Say standing right there, you guys can't like have a conversation, no,
which is really.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So I'm waiting for her to say, oh, we were
supposed to have two female therapists or whatever like that
before anything is said. I now am in a totally
different mindset because the guy then comes up to her
and he goes, hey, miss Deborah, I'm your massage therapist.
(08:13):
Today's going okay, And I went, oh, everything took a turn.
Oh guy, okay, he's not leaning any going oh's depression.
He's going, how does this feel wonderful? And I'm like, wow, okay,
(08:36):
this is a different vibe. And now so I'm like, yeah,
you're okay with it, all right?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
You met?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, she's got him. Honestly, if it if it was
this guy was rubbing me down, I don't know. Honestly,
Bobby wouldn't bother me. I don't know. There was something
about the straight guy rubbing me down this.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I don't think i'd care, really, I don't know why,
but he would be more into you big time obviously.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But you know what, I'm looking good these days. Might
be a compliment, might be a compliment. It might be
a compliment. But I still don't know how Deborah is
going to feel about this. Yeah, And so now I'm
I'm fine at this point because I mean, I don't
have a weird feeling about it at all, doesn't bother
me at all. It looks not yet okay. But she
(09:27):
can feel it because when I walked up, I gave
her the glance of like, oh fuck, here we go again.
I'm screwed. And then when the lady walked out to me,
I was like, like, again, you're a problem. So they
bring us back to the room and then you know
the thing where they leave, and then we get this
robe and get under the thing nude to that old thing.
(09:47):
I go, hey, what, like, are you okay? Like what
do you think? What are we going to do here?
What's the plan? Yeah? And and she go and she goes, well,
I'm probably a little uncomfortable, and I go, but, yeah,
you heard it. I don't think he's into you. I
think you may be glancing over what's on the other
that slab of meat that's on the other table. I think,
(10:09):
I think you're fine. And she goes, well, I guess, well,
I guess I'm okay, And I go, all right, it's fine.
I don't care to start walking away. I'm like, it
does it. It's too late, man, We're in it. Yeah,
So we get underneath covers, they come back in and
proceed to venture with the massage. Yeah. And so I'm like, okay,
(10:32):
my massage is going great. Okay. I mean, I'm having
the time in my life, like this is going great.
It feels good. Everything's happening fine. But every once in
a while you would hear what's going on on the
other table. Yeah, and it would take me out of
the zone. So I'm fine, I'm you know, I'm enjoying it. Whatever.
But you know, they always ask you if the pressure
(10:53):
okay or whatever about the pressure. It's always about the pressure. Pressure,
gotta talk about tissues. Yeah, it's the pressure. Okay. I
hear that, and I'm like, whoa, I can't forgot for
a minute that that was going on over there, and
I'm like, oh, okay, and then you know, something else
would be said of like how do you feel about
(11:13):
essential oils? Hoh, I can't, like I can't get in
the zenmo. Right, it was a little distracting. You were
getting that massage, dude, Well no, not necessarily, unnecessarily, but overall,
I guess the massaging was fine. Mine was fantastic. I'm
(11:34):
not gonna lie. It was like when she was working
the glutes on my Okay, now what's going on here? Hell,
the pressure is great, but then but then every once
in a while I hear something happening over there and it
would take me out of it. But overall we survived, thankfully,
no pressure questions for me. So we're good. But I
may I decide, you know what, I'm think I'm gonna
(11:55):
switch it up. I think I'm might go solo from
now on couples massage. Well, that's mean