May 27, 2026 • 16 mins
Eddie has changed his lifestyle in the past few months which has been great for him! What he didn't take into account is how alcohol effects him now. Well...something went down over the weekend that resulted in something crazy happening to Eddie after having a few too many jello shots...
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So I don't drink that often anymore. Just can't, can't
do it. You know, I'm on this health journey and
adding alcohol to it seems like a crazy wasted a
bunch of calories.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
For you or on your health journey, We're still not
drinking very much.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I don't drink a ton. I mean on the weekends though,
you know, I have a couple of pops here whatever,
but nothing crazy. Yeah, I'm not going out and stuff
like that anymore. But uh, you do not have drinks
here and there, but not much anymore. You just staying
away from that kind of stuff. Sorry, Sorry, it's just
how I am. And so now when I drink, it's
(00:38):
gonna get me, it's gonna go I did have an
unfortunate incident while drinking at a Memorial Day party that
I'm gonna be a little bit embarrassed telling you guys.
We ain't done yet. It's time for the one podcast
over yet, completely uncensored and un except for that part.
(01:03):
The show's after show starts. Now. This is probably going
to shock you. I think the last time I've had
more than just like a couple of drinks was kegs
and eggs. Wow. Well you wouldn't know anything about that.
This is daily for you.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
But do you feel any of these comments about the
health journey and the not drinking. Do you feel like
he's trying to take shots?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
That was his own situation.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Between me and Eddie.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, you know in the past, she hasn't cared for
your comments, nor really have I in regards to the
health journey.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
You don't like be getting healthy? Okay, I recover this.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm happy that you're getting healthy. I'm happy for you.
But as for other people who are struggling with their
own journey, you know, sometimes it's a little high.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Hor makes choice in that.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Okay, all right, this is what I'm talking about. Everybody
makes a choice.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I've supported you and been by your side and you
pooh my suggestions.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You've supported me and to help. Okay, fine, fine, yeah,
so I just you know, again, that's not necessarily a
major component of my health journey. But but I just
I haven't found myself drinking that much. So it's great,
you know, it's just empty calories whatever. But it's not
(02:31):
like I'm against it. Okay, So there's a difference. And
so got kegs and eggs. Was the last time I
kind of got after it, you know what I mean
on that on that level. Yeah, you're you're telling me, okay,
and so I don't really remember if I was even there,
(02:51):
and so yeah, I just don't drink that much anymore
and so whatever. But my friend always has a Memorial
Day party year, but it's always the day before so
you can recover the next So it's always Sunday. It's
always kind of the same big thing, big Memorial Day party.
We're always going to go, and so we had it
again this year. So roll in, I decide, Okay, what's
(03:14):
my drink of toys going going?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Now? Am I remembering correctly? This is some sort of
like nacho bar party? Yes, okay, does that that's fun?
Does that influence your choice?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Remember that?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I don't know. I don't know crazy wow, No, I
think we talked about it.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, like last week we talked about it and so
just me and him back in the office. So does
the food being offered influence you when you're looking for
what's your choice?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
What's your choice? Doesn't? But when I tell you what
it is, it did. Oh yeah. So I went with
the pre the pre mixed one already because I didn't
want to have to bring the tequila to mix straight
beer so heavy i'ld be full in two seconds. There
(04:05):
was a shot. There was just straight shots of vodka.
Guinea marks.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, you're a skinny bit. Just regular marks, those skinny
marks out though they're good.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I have no things. Oh sugar ready, I know, but
I don't like them. Oh yeah, I can't get used
to it. I'm trying all right, So no, just regular
marks whatever, they're anything, premikes crazy. I feel like they're
a little bit stronger, like alcohol wise.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I don't know, and it's probably like not as great
tequila too. Sometimes in those pre mixed.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Ones they're Quervos top top, knoche.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Top.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I mean I think collar they tasted though, so I
don't care. I don't care. They get the job done. So,
got my little backpack cooler. Oh that's mice in there,
backpack cooler. This is how I travel when I drink.
I didn't in the backpack cooler. You put your eyes
in there, you put my my thing in there, brought
my own cups, my red solos. You're going to a party.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I know. Ups, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I'm ready to go, man party, ready to go. And
he didn't give you. And then I got Deborah some
lemon drop martini cutwaters.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
They make those.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Oh yeah, have their money. Their money sounds delicious. He's
already ordered up. They are super strong. They'll you up.
Give me.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Just check out his back.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
He's probably gone.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
So I don't know if the car breaks down to
drink on the side of the road going to the party.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I mean, but you bring your own drinks? Okay, yeah,
you bring you on drinks. Did you bring your own
plates and forks? You never know what. They're totally different.
He's got his teeth. I think they're totally know what
this guy. I think they're totally different. Okay, so backpack,
ready to go rolling with the homies and show up
to the party. Okay, So I'm pouring my my drink,
(05:57):
gonna just gonna drink it, sip it, no big deal.
But then I remember at my annual Memorial Day party,
we have the jello shots I've heard about. Yes, my man,
my man, Jared is a fucking dog. He's a fucking
jello artist. Really, Jared, he doesn't take anything more seriously
(06:20):
in his life than this party and his jello shots.
He's become known for it and so it's.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It's honestly, some people make shitty jellow shots.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Thank you. There's such things as you can make him
to strong, you can make him watery.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Jared, Jared is jelly jello Jared is he as good
at jello shots as chili dog Tim is at chili.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Very similar realms, very very together. That's too good of
a time. So Jared comes rolling in with a Costco
bucket full to the brim of this is just round one,
(07:08):
shot round one? How many rounds? Shots? As many as
as many as you want, Bro Jared, I mean flavors.
I mean flavors.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
He's got multiple flavors.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
I've had a yellow shots my graduation party, had any
ever one of my friends had a graduation party of
hig school.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
They had a bunch of yellow shots. Well, Jared lives
for this day. He lives for this day. And so
he's made trays and trays.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
As long does it take to make yellow shots?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And also you have to take does he have a
big fridge.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You have to have fridges like because they have to get.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Psychotic about it. Where like he's got all of them
in the kitchen fridge. And if somebody goes to put
something else in there.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
He's like, no, do not.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Do that a million so no one, no one eats
for days.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
He probably is a separate fridge of the garage just
for jellohot.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
He comes from home this fucking bucket and I'm like, oh, ship,
it's on, it's on.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's like he's like, he's like testing you, like this is.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Well, no, he knows this is it. Well. Last year,
we me and the boys, we decided, all right, we're
gonna stack all of our jello cups up and try
to beat everybody, you know, and how many we're gonna do?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
So empties before you sarpot act taking an actual shot or.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I mean there's a lot of alcoholic Yeah, maybe a
little bit. Yeah, because it's gillo, you think you're not
really doing it. You can't taste it. Yeah, so it
gets a little crazy. And so last year I thought
I was a little crazy because last year I believe
I did eighteen jello shots at this memorial party. I
remember held the record and I held the record and
(08:47):
you held the I was so proud losing.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
No, he'll get competitive about the weirdest ship I've never Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Like I'll fucking die first. Eddy yeah, he shot autopsy.
They cut me off and just again, really recognize, I'm
not drinking that much.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Right now, and you're also not You're also not eating
like sugar, and that's like the mixture. That's what's dangerous
about those is it's a mixture of the sugar that
just heightens the alcohol and makes everything worse.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah. So, I mean there's a lot of different this
year than it was last year. But it's on and
so I'm like, all right, well are we doing this?
And everybody's like, fuck, yeah, let's do it. So I
got my regular drink and I'm drinking, and then here
comes the jello shots, and so I start pounding the
jellow shots and building my little tower of jello. Now
(09:40):
is the.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Tower like in a triangle form?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Is it? Just? Are you just straight Uprose? Going straight up?
All right?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Might still be drunk.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
So I'm drinking and drinking and drinking and having a
great old time. Okay, Uh, I don't remember how many
of my little Mark drinks I've had, but I can
tell you that there was only a quarter of it
left when I saw it the next day. There's no
memory of this.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
I'm just letting you know, no memory an Emily situation
on Tuesday Night.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yes, yes, yes, funny. And so how many jello shots
did the Kid do this this year?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I kid, Oh, pretty.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Much the Joey chestnut of jello shots. What because this
motherfucker somebody at a bar. No, it's a different kind
of chestnut. This motherfucker did the kid twenty two jello shots?
This year went a little crazy. Well, Jared was shot
for shot for me, and I'm like, fuck you, dude,
but I can't happening.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
That's so fucking cocky because like, imagine me going, I'm
gonna out chili chili dog t him.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, stupid, what do you fucking it was stupid? It
was stupid chili dogs him.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
He could eat heat chill.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Breakfast and he'll eat you under the table. Yeah, yellow
shot Jared. It was fuck dumb.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
He'll die of alcohol poison.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
No, bro, he did I miss him? He died. So
I'm fucked up. I am ham boned, dude. I haven't
been this drunk in a long time, where I'm stumbling around.
I'm having some issues. You know, Dev's giving me the
look and we already knew going in this might be
(11:22):
a thing. I'm like, you're driving because I know. I'm like,
I already know that I'm going to be sucked up
at this party, so whatever what it is. So I'm
getting sloppy. This is fucking bad. Are you?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Are you eating nachos like a super drunk person.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
No, I took care of the nacho kind of early on.
I got to get a basin. You're not like Hastlehoff
on the bird. Should I had some more nuts nacha later? Yeah? Probably,
but I was too fucking I'm full with jello belly,
jello here, nastyhere. I can't. I'm not. I'm like moving
(11:56):
around trying to build. That's a different So of course
I gotta drain the main vein. Man, you know, I
gotta take a leak. You wouldn't think they make you pee,
but I'm also doing the marks. Yeah, yeah, so sorry,
(12:18):
I gotta take a piss. I'm fucking hammered, okay. And
so they have like a side bathroom, you know, on
the side of the house. It's like off the offshoot
or whatever. And so I fucking stumble in this bathroom
and I'm taking a piss. I don't think anything of it.
Things are fine. And then I look down and recognize
(12:43):
what I am taking a piss all over my shorts.
Shorts are hanging somehow right over the toilet, and I'm
not paying attention. I'm just peeing and it is fucking
going all over my leg and I'm not I'm not
feeling it. I'm not doing an I look down and
(13:06):
I'm wearing kind of like light blue shorts. You can
see I've pissed my I pissed myself. I mean, it's
every and it looks like I fucking like legitimately peeded
myself instead of like time going the It wasn't just dude,
it's soaked. I mean my whole leg is fucking wet. Okay, again,
(13:32):
I don't need to I don't need to do I
made an unfortunate mistake. Okay, these things happen. Okay, So
now I'm like, oh God, what do I do because
I gotta now walk back and we're I'm there's a
it's a giant outdoor table, and I'm sitting in the
(13:53):
front part of the table. So all of the ladies
are kind of in their little henhouse on the side,
having their little chat. Yeah, and if I'm walking up
to this table, all of them are gonna see. Everybody's
gonna see me. So what do I? How do I? Well?
Speaker 3 (14:06):
And you're probably so drunk you don't realize. So there's
probably pissed all.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Over their bathrooms. Well that I don't care about.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Well, I.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Would go, but I'm just I'm so consumed with what
how do I get out of this? What do I do?
I don't know what to do? Now? Oh it's I'm
I'm drunk, but I'm also like cognizant of like I'm
gonna I'm gonna be humiliated, and so I'm just like,
all right, dude, you got to come up with a
story here. And so I'm like, okay, I don't know,
(14:36):
like I'm gonna, I'm gonna say that when I opened
up the faucets, they just fucking dude, you gotta check
that fossip, Like what the hell is going on?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And he thought about me saying, oh my god, I
got ketchup on my or whatever. You got something on
your shorts and you're trying to get the stain out.
Whatever the is salsa and you got something on your
shorts and you're trying to get a stain out.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Where were you? I could have done that?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Do you drink, people don't come up with any excuses
that make sense, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
How much did I spill on me? Because literally it
is everywhere, It's my entire leg How did you get
over there? How am I ating that way? Was I
holding it like over here? I don't know. I was
so drunk.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Once I pissed in a hallway out of college, thinking
it was a bathroom.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I get it, yeah, been there, and so now I'm
just like, that's That's what I'm going with. Foss exploded brock.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Taking them off and walking out pants thinking nobody would
notice it.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
So I do the thing. Okay, well maybe even if
I just dark kind of quick, yeah, move around, nobody
will notice this. And I'm stumbling. I mean, I'm already
and so I do a quick walk and immediately sit down.
But I did see some eyes kind of look over,
(16:02):
but thankfully nobody asked. Nobody said anything. Nobody asked. If
it was my boys and my friends, they would have
seen it, they would have said something, but all of
their backs were too n all the ladies were on
the other side. They have a swimming pool. Yes, I
think of that too, But what am I going to do?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
You just dart out and got it ball.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I mean all my clothes, shoes. I drowned because I
was still fucked up and you had just eaten nachos
and that well, jello shots count too, So I'm wearing fifteen.
I'm waiting fourteen shots. You would imagine you still can't
go in a pool today. You're right,
So I don't drink that often anymore. Just can't, can't
do it. You know, I'm on this health journey and
adding alcohol to it seems like a crazy wasted a
bunch of calories.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
For you or on your health journey, We're still not
drinking very much.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I don't drink a ton. I mean on the weekends though,
you know, I have a couple of pops here whatever,
but nothing crazy. Yeah, I'm not going out and stuff
like that anymore. But uh, you do not have drinks
here and there, but not much anymore. You just staying
away from that kind of stuff. Sorry, Sorry, it's just
how I am. And so now when I drink, it's
(00:38):
gonna get me, it's gonna go I did have an
unfortunate incident while drinking at a Memorial Day party that
I'm gonna be a little bit embarrassed telling you guys.
We ain't done yet. It's time for the one podcast
over yet, completely uncensored and un except for that part.
(01:03):
The show's after show starts. Now. This is probably going
to shock you. I think the last time I've had
more than just like a couple of drinks was kegs
and eggs. Wow. Well you wouldn't know anything about that.
This is daily for you.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
But do you feel any of these comments about the
health journey and the not drinking. Do you feel like
he's trying to take shots?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
That was his own situation.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Between me and Eddie.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, you know in the past, she hasn't cared for
your comments, nor really have I in regards to the
health journey.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
You don't like be getting healthy? Okay, I recover this.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm happy that you're getting healthy. I'm happy for you.
But as for other people who are struggling with their
own journey, you know, sometimes it's a little high.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Hor makes choice in that.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Okay, all right, this is what I'm talking about. Everybody
makes a choice.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I've supported you and been by your side and you
pooh my suggestions.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You've supported me and to help. Okay, fine, fine, yeah,
so I just you know, again, that's not necessarily a
major component of my health journey. But but I just
I haven't found myself drinking that much. So it's great,
you know, it's just empty calories whatever. But it's not
(02:31):
like I'm against it. Okay, So there's a difference. And
so got kegs and eggs. Was the last time I
kind of got after it, you know what I mean
on that on that level. Yeah, you're you're telling me, okay,
and so I don't really remember if I was even there,
(02:51):
and so yeah, I just don't drink that much anymore
and so whatever. But my friend always has a Memorial
Day party year, but it's always the day before so
you can recover the next So it's always Sunday. It's
always kind of the same big thing, big Memorial Day party.
We're always going to go, and so we had it
again this year. So roll in, I decide, Okay, what's
(03:14):
my drink of toys going going?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Now? Am I remembering correctly? This is some sort of
like nacho bar party? Yes, okay, does that that's fun?
Does that influence your choice?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Remember that?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I don't know. I don't know crazy wow, No, I
think we talked about it.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, like last week we talked about it and so
just me and him back in the office. So does
the food being offered influence you when you're looking for
what's your choice?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
What's your choice? Doesn't? But when I tell you what
it is, it did. Oh yeah. So I went with
the pre the pre mixed one already because I didn't
want to have to bring the tequila to mix straight
beer so heavy i'ld be full in two seconds. There
(04:05):
was a shot. There was just straight shots of vodka.
Guinea marks.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, you're a skinny bit. Just regular marks, those skinny
marks out though they're good.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I have no things. Oh sugar ready, I know, but
I don't like them. Oh yeah, I can't get used
to it. I'm trying all right, So no, just regular
marks whatever, they're anything, premikes crazy. I feel like they're
a little bit stronger, like alcohol wise.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I don't know, and it's probably like not as great
tequila too. Sometimes in those pre mixed.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Ones they're Quervos top top, knoche.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Top.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I mean I think collar they tasted though, so I
don't care. I don't care. They get the job done. So,
got my little backpack cooler. Oh that's mice in there,
backpack cooler. This is how I travel when I drink.
I didn't in the backpack cooler. You put your eyes
in there, you put my my thing in there, brought
my own cups, my red solos. You're going to a party.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I know. Ups, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I'm ready to go, man party, ready to go. And
he didn't give you. And then I got Deborah some
lemon drop martini cutwaters.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
They make those.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Oh yeah, have their money. Their money sounds delicious. He's
already ordered up. They are super strong. They'll you up.
Give me.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Just check out his back.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
He's probably gone.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
So I don't know if the car breaks down to
drink on the side of the road going to the party.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I mean, but you bring your own drinks? Okay, yeah,
you bring you on drinks. Did you bring your own
plates and forks? You never know what. They're totally different.
He's got his teeth. I think they're totally know what
this guy. I think they're totally different. Okay, so backpack,
ready to go rolling with the homies and show up
to the party. Okay, So I'm pouring my my drink,
(05:57):
gonna just gonna drink it, sip it, no big deal.
But then I remember at my annual Memorial Day party,
we have the jello shots I've heard about. Yes, my man,
my man, Jared is a fucking dog. He's a fucking
jello artist. Really, Jared, he doesn't take anything more seriously
(06:20):
in his life than this party and his jello shots.
He's become known for it and so it's.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It's honestly, some people make shitty jellow shots.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Thank you. There's such things as you can make him
to strong, you can make him watery.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Jared, Jared is jelly jello Jared is he as good
at jello shots as chili dog Tim is at chili.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Very similar realms, very very together. That's too good of
a time. So Jared comes rolling in with a Costco
bucket full to the brim of this is just round one,
(07:08):
shot round one? How many rounds? Shots? As many as
as many as you want, Bro Jared, I mean flavors.
I mean flavors.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
He's got multiple flavors.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
I've had a yellow shots my graduation party, had any
ever one of my friends had a graduation party of
hig school.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
They had a bunch of yellow shots. Well, Jared lives
for this day. He lives for this day. And so
he's made trays and trays.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
As long does it take to make yellow shots?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And also you have to take does he have a
big fridge.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You have to have fridges like because they have to get.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Psychotic about it. Where like he's got all of them
in the kitchen fridge. And if somebody goes to put
something else in there.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
He's like, no, do not.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Do that a million so no one, no one eats
for days.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
He probably is a separate fridge of the garage just
for jellohot.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
He comes from home this fucking bucket and I'm like, oh, ship,
it's on, it's on.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's like he's like, he's like testing you, like this is.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Well, no, he knows this is it. Well. Last year,
we me and the boys, we decided, all right, we're
gonna stack all of our jello cups up and try
to beat everybody, you know, and how many we're gonna do?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
So empties before you sarpot act taking an actual shot or.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I mean there's a lot of alcoholic Yeah, maybe a
little bit. Yeah, because it's gillo, you think you're not
really doing it. You can't taste it. Yeah, so it
gets a little crazy. And so last year I thought
I was a little crazy because last year I believe
I did eighteen jello shots at this memorial party. I
remember held the record and I held the record and
(08:47):
you held the I was so proud losing.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
No, he'll get competitive about the weirdest ship I've never Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Like I'll fucking die first. Eddy yeah, he shot autopsy.
They cut me off and just again, really recognize, I'm
not drinking that much.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Right now, and you're also not You're also not eating
like sugar, and that's like the mixture. That's what's dangerous
about those is it's a mixture of the sugar that
just heightens the alcohol and makes everything worse.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah. So, I mean there's a lot of different this
year than it was last year. But it's on and
so I'm like, all right, well are we doing this?
And everybody's like, fuck, yeah, let's do it. So I
got my regular drink and I'm drinking, and then here
comes the jello shots, and so I start pounding the
jellow shots and building my little tower of jello. Now
(09:40):
is the.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Tower like in a triangle form?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Is it? Just? Are you just straight Uprose? Going straight up?
All right?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Might still be drunk.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
So I'm drinking and drinking and drinking and having a
great old time. Okay, Uh, I don't remember how many
of my little Mark drinks I've had, but I can
tell you that there was only a quarter of it
left when I saw it the next day. There's no
memory of this.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
I'm just letting you know, no memory an Emily situation
on Tuesday Night.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yes, yes, yes, funny. And so how many jello shots
did the Kid do this this year?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I kid, Oh, pretty.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Much the Joey chestnut of jello shots. What because this
motherfucker somebody at a bar. No, it's a different kind
of chestnut. This motherfucker did the kid twenty two jello shots?
This year went a little crazy. Well, Jared was shot
for shot for me, and I'm like, fuck you, dude,
but I can't happening.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
That's so fucking cocky because like, imagine me going, I'm
gonna out chili chili dog t him.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, stupid, what do you fucking it was stupid? It
was stupid chili dogs him.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
He could eat heat chill.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Breakfast and he'll eat you under the table. Yeah, yellow
shot Jared. It was fuck dumb.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
He'll die of alcohol poison.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
No, bro, he did I miss him? He died. So
I'm fucked up. I am ham boned, dude. I haven't
been this drunk in a long time, where I'm stumbling around.
I'm having some issues. You know, Dev's giving me the
look and we already knew going in this might be
(11:22):
a thing. I'm like, you're driving because I know. I'm like,
I already know that I'm going to be sucked up
at this party, so whatever what it is. So I'm
getting sloppy. This is fucking bad. Are you?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Are you eating nachos like a super drunk person.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
No, I took care of the nacho kind of early on.
I got to get a basin. You're not like Hastlehoff
on the bird. Should I had some more nuts nacha later? Yeah? Probably,
but I was too fucking I'm full with jello belly,
jello here, nastyhere. I can't. I'm not. I'm like moving
(11:56):
around trying to build. That's a different So of course
I gotta drain the main vein. Man, you know, I
gotta take a leak. You wouldn't think they make you pee,
but I'm also doing the marks. Yeah, yeah, so sorry,
(12:18):
I gotta take a piss. I'm fucking hammered, okay. And
so they have like a side bathroom, you know, on
the side of the house. It's like off the offshoot
or whatever. And so I fucking stumble in this bathroom
and I'm taking a piss. I don't think anything of it.
Things are fine. And then I look down and recognize
(12:43):
what I am taking a piss all over my shorts.
Shorts are hanging somehow right over the toilet, and I'm
not paying attention. I'm just peeing and it is fucking
going all over my leg and I'm not I'm not
feeling it. I'm not doing an I look down and
(13:06):
I'm wearing kind of like light blue shorts. You can
see I've pissed my I pissed myself. I mean, it's
every and it looks like I fucking like legitimately peeded
myself instead of like time going the It wasn't just dude,
it's soaked. I mean my whole leg is fucking wet. Okay, again,
(13:32):
I don't need to I don't need to do I
made an unfortunate mistake. Okay, these things happen. Okay, So
now I'm like, oh God, what do I do because
I gotta now walk back and we're I'm there's a
it's a giant outdoor table, and I'm sitting in the
(13:53):
front part of the table. So all of the ladies
are kind of in their little henhouse on the side,
having their little chat. Yeah, and if I'm walking up
to this table, all of them are gonna see. Everybody's
gonna see me. So what do I? How do I? Well?
Speaker 3 (14:06):
And you're probably so drunk you don't realize. So there's
probably pissed all.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Over their bathrooms. Well that I don't care about.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Well, I.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Would go, but I'm just I'm so consumed with what
how do I get out of this? What do I do?
I don't know what to do? Now? Oh it's I'm
I'm drunk, but I'm also like cognizant of like I'm
gonna I'm gonna be humiliated, and so I'm just like,
all right, dude, you got to come up with a
story here. And so I'm like, okay, I don't know,
(14:36):
like I'm gonna, I'm gonna say that when I opened
up the faucets, they just fucking dude, you gotta check
that fossip, Like what the hell is going on?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And he thought about me saying, oh my god, I
got ketchup on my or whatever. You got something on
your shorts and you're trying to get the stain out.
Whatever the is salsa and you got something on your
shorts and you're trying to get a stain out.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Where were you? I could have done that?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Do you drink, people don't come up with any excuses
that make sense, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
How much did I spill on me? Because literally it
is everywhere, It's my entire leg How did you get
over there? How am I ating that way? Was I
holding it like over here? I don't know. I was
so drunk.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Once I pissed in a hallway out of college, thinking
it was a bathroom.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I get it, yeah, been there, and so now I'm
just like, that's That's what I'm going with. Foss exploded brock.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Taking them off and walking out pants thinking nobody would
notice it.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
So I do the thing. Okay, well maybe even if
I just dark kind of quick, yeah, move around, nobody
will notice this. And I'm stumbling. I mean, I'm already
and so I do a quick walk and immediately sit down.
But I did see some eyes kind of look over,
(16:02):
but thankfully nobody asked. Nobody said anything. Nobody asked. If
it was my boys and my friends, they would have
seen it, they would have said something, but all of
their backs were too n all the ladies were on
the other side. They have a swimming pool. Yes, I
think of that too, But what am I going to do?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
You just dart out and got it ball.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I mean all my clothes, shoes. I drowned because I
was still fucked up and you had just eaten nachos
and that well, jello shots count too, So I'm wearing fifteen.
I'm waiting fourteen shots. You would imagine you still can't
go in a pool today. You're right,
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