OUTWEIGH: I believe that I can tell a lot about a woman's emotional health based on how much time she spends on social media. I know that might sound a little bit weird, but social media has a bigger impact on your mind, brain, self-esteem, and self-image than you might think.
And THAT is the elephant in the room that I bring up on today’s podcast: Facebook and Instagram and other forms of social media (if you allow it) can be used as powerful tools to connect, share parts of your life, and keep your finger on the pulse of the lives of people that matter to you. But if you're not careful, they can easily become a weapon of comparison-itus, unattainable standards, isolation, and loneliness.
On top of that though, for people out there that ALREADY struggle with self-esteem, body image, or self-worth, I believe it can be even MORE dangerous. And that’s why I felt called to simply have a conversation about it and take a look at how it is TRULY impacting us.
In this episode of Outweigh, I teach you some valuable distinctions that will help you discover if you are the one influencing it, or if it is the one controlling you. I even give you an action plan on how you can take back ownership of your Social Brain and how to ensure that you have a healthy ‘relationship’ with social media.
======
Link Mentioned:
Watch the Stressless Eating Webinar where Leanne walks you through her exact 5 Step Game Plan her clients use to heal themselves from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting themselves, punishing their bodies, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) 😉
HOST: www.StresslessEating.com // @LeanneEllington
To contact Amy about Outweigh: hello@outweighpodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am, I you, I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then will always out way if you feel it
with your hands and be here, She'll some love to
the foot there take you day and did you and
die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday. Out Weigh.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington and I'm a friend of Amy's and
the author and creator of Stressless Heeding. And something cool
that Amy asked me to do was to come be
the resident guest host for a few episodes of Outweigh,
and we started doing this last week, So if you
miss that, you'll definitely want to check that out where
we got all into the nitty gritty details of why
your brain thinks it wants sugar. So if you struggle
(01:00):
with mindless eeding, or you tend to gravitate towards food
when you're bored, sad, lonely, or stressed, or you just
sometimes wonder if you're actively self sabotaging your health, then
definitely go back and check that out because it's the
piece of the puzzle that for me, no one ever
educated me about. It's also interesting because you might wonder
(01:20):
what that has to do with today's topic, which is
all about whether social media is helping or harming your
self esteem and your relationship with food in your body.
So I'll show you how even those social media and
your brain's relationship to sugar might not seem like they're related.
By the end of this episode, you'll fully understand how
(01:40):
on a brain level they are absolutely one hundred percent related.
But before we dive into that, I want to just
give you a sneak peek of what's coming up on Outweigh,
because once again, this whole conversation around food and our
bodies and our health, well it's definitely this three dimensional
subject matter. And that's why in the coming weeks we
will be talking about things like why you stopped trusting
(02:03):
yourself and how to earn your own trust back, why
weekend self sabotage is a thing, and what to do
about it, and how to know if you're using food
and exercise as a tool or as a weapon. But
back to is social media helping or harming your self
esteem and your relationship with food and your body. So
(02:23):
this is actually one of the first things I talked
to my clients about because it's one of those things
that not many people really take into account or think about.
But I believe that you can actually tell a lot
about someone's emotional health and what I would call their
social health based on their relationship with social media. So
just to give you some context and almost put a
wrapper around what we're going to cover today, there's a
(02:45):
big distinction that I want to make, and it's the
difference between using something as a tool and using it
as a weapon. So a very obvious example would be
when I had spine surgery and I was in a
lot of pain afterwards, they prescribed me opiate's as a
tool to help me deal with my pain, and using
them responsibly, I could use them as a tool for
(03:06):
what they were designed for, to help manage my pain.
But to the tens of thousands of people that die
from opioid overdoses every single year, that same drug, that
same substance is no longer a helpful tool, but instead
now it's become a weapon of abuse and destruction and addiction.
And yeah, even though technically it's the same substance in
(03:28):
one case, it's a helpful tool and in one case
it's a destructive weapon. So I know that's a very
extreme example, but I really just want you to get
the concept here.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So sugar is another example.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
It can be a tool for pleasure, for creativity and
baking in the kitchen, connecting with family or friends over
a treat, and a tool to help regulate insulin and
blood sugar for a diabetic I know sugar has been
villainized in today's society, but sugar as it's designed is
not this bad or evil thing, but too much of it,
(04:02):
using it mindlessly, using it to fill a void of sadness, loneliness, comfort,
or stress or any other air quotes, abuse of it
where it harms your health or your lifestyle. That same sugar,
that same substance, used in a different way, can become
a weapon that harms us in the long run. And again,
if that's something you're currently struggling with, definitely go back
(04:23):
and listen to last week's episode of Outweigh. So back
to this whole social media thing. Is it a tool
or is it a weapon? So let's talk about that.
On one hand, I can use it as a tool
to connect with others, have fun, express myself, find amazing
like minded people with similar interests or similar struggles. You know,
(04:44):
access cool information, keep up with current events or happenings.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
You get the picture. Right.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
So, things like Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms
are and can be one powerful.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Tool if used as a tool.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But if I'm using it mindlessly or unintentionally, I can
easily become a victim of its wrath, and it can
easily become a weapon of mass distraction, criticism, judgment, shame.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
And isolation.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Not to mention social media if you aren't mindful and intentional,
or you simply allow it to be, it can be
used as one big comparison trap. And you know what
they say, comparison is the thief of joy. But especially
for the people out there that also struggle with self
esteem or body image or self worth, I believe that
(05:33):
we can be even.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
More susceptible to this.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Now, it's important to mention that social media is not
this inherently good or bad, right or wrong thing right.
It's not good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. It's simply
a matter of how you're using it that determines if
it becomes a tool or if it becomes a weapon.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
And that is simply.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
A matter of who you are being and how you're
feeling when you're using it. So, for example, when I'm
feeling happy and healthy and feeling confident about myself, you know,
social media is this awesome tool.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
It doesn't infiltrate my mood.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It doesn't send me down a spiral, it doesn't affect
me negatively. You know, it might even make me feel
more connected to my friends or even uplift my mood.
But if I'm already sad or I'm already feeling a
little bit wobbly in my self esteem that day, social
media probably isn't the best thing for me in those moments.
(06:28):
And if I'm not mindful, it could be the thing
that kind of sends me down this spiral or this
rabbit hole. And if I'm feeling a bit down, you
better believe that my life is going to pale in
comparison to the people on my friend's list from childhood
or the people that have the you know, air quotes
perfect body or the perfect life, or the perfect family
(06:49):
or the perfect career. Right, And I'm obviously putting perfect
into air quotes, because there is no such thing But
when I'm using social media to compare myself to others
or compare myself to where I think i'm you know,
air ques both supposed to be, or compare my life
to someone else's life, of course I'm going to feel
bad because now social media is no longer a tool
(07:09):
to make me feel connected. It's become a weapon that
I'm using against myself to feel disconnected. And so who's
to say I can't look at my Facebook or Instagram
feed and simply be happy for those that I'm comparing
myself to.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Right?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Who says I have to use it as some measuring
stick to stack myself up against when it comes to
other people? Right, I'm guessing it wasn't created for this purpose.
And that's why I truly believe. You know, we've got
to take radical ownership of who we're being and how
we're feeling before we pick up our phones or scroll
through that feed, because it literally is going to feed something.
(07:46):
You know, it's called a feed, right, So is it
going to feed the good feelings or the bad?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Is it going to feed joy or comparison? Is it
going to be used as a tool of mass connection
or a weapon of despair, and that's why it's it's
so important that we use it intentionally.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Now, that's not to say don't be human, right, because
don't get me wrong, I'm totally human. And the social
part of my brain loves seeing that someone hit the
like button on my post or that the picture I
posted of something I'm doing in my life got some
engagement or comments.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
But there's a massive difference between desiring interaction on social
media and requiring it in order to feel happy or
to fuel your self esteem. And so again, just being
aware of these distinctions is going to give you a
whole new awareness so that you can go use social
media in a healthy way that fuels your self esteem
(08:41):
and fuels your body image because you know, at the
end of the day, influences influence, right. So again, nothing's good, bad, right, wrong?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Should should it?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
But it's so important to be mindful and I would
even go as far as say vigilant about who and
what we are being influenced by. And this is going
to potentially change, you know, day by day or just
dependent on the season that you're currently in.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So, for example, if I were in the thick of
food and body in the struggles, it might not be
a good idea for me to be around you know,
diet mentality or weight loss centric kind of stuff, right,
It might be better for me in those in that
season to be influenced by things like you know, the
Outweigh podcast or you know, things that talk about healing
(09:27):
or body image or maybe spiritual stuff or mental emotional
self care, that kind of thing. And so in those
moments when I'm susceptible or fragile or vulnerable, having someone
in my feed and again not that it's bad or wrong,
but having somebody in my feed telling me that a
smoothie recipe is going to be in air quotes you know,
life saver or game changer that might send.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Me down the wrong rabbit hole.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Because again, influences influence, So you do want to start
being mindful of things like, you know, is this really
good for me right now?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And is this good for the person that I'm trying
to become.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
So it comes down to or what it's really about,
is that wisdom and discernment and using social media intentionally
right and really knowing where you are and knowing where
you aren't in each moment and getting really you know,
just in tune with what's good for you and what's
not good for you. And again it doesn't mean it's
not good.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
For you forever.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
But you can just use those goggles moment by moment,
day by day and look at it through the you know,
does this serve me?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Or is this good for me? Kind of filter?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
And that is the kind of filter and the line
of thinking that you can use every single day and
it will always.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Meet you where you are.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
So that's really it. You know, it doesn't have to
be any more complicated than that. You know, you don't
have to go do any you know, deep work around
your relationship with.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Social media or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
You just want to shed light and awareness on who
you're being and how you're feeling really before, during, and
after you use it and simply just be intentional. And
in just a second, I'm going to give you five
quick tips that you can use to do just that.
But before I do that, I wanted to share a
personal anecdote about this. I wanted to share a personal
(11:16):
anecdote about this. So every once in a while I
do a little what I call feast, so kind of
the opposite of a fast right where I purposefully spend
a lot more time offline, and instead I feast on
things that fill up my soul. And it just so
happens that about ten days ago, I started one of
my feasts. So all I did was I just took
(11:39):
Facebook and Instagram off of my phone. I didn't make
any hard and fast rules that I wasn't allowed to
go on there or anything like that, you know, so
I still, you know, go on my laptop and I
check my messages and you know.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Check a couple things a couple times a day.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
But the key was it wasn't on my phone or
super readily available and accessible.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
So here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
First off, I wasn't incessantly opening it, right, so my
brain was not incessantly seeing and hearing and being influenced
by anything or anyone online. But it wasn't just what
I wasn't doing or seeing. It was also what I
chose to replace that time and energy with. And for me,
(12:21):
I just kept it really simple, and I replaced it
with reading, listening, and writing, like you know, reading and
listening to specific books and podcasts that filled my soul
and spending time on my own you know, spiritual practice
and writing and being creative, So again, it wasn't complicated.
I've literally just been reading and writing and some listening
to instead. And don't get me wrong, it was challenging
(12:42):
at first because you know, my brain was very used
to looking for those little hits of dopamine I got
when checking my phone in between work tasks or just
out of habit when I wasn't mindful, right, And again,
if you want to know all about that and how
that works inside your brain, I did get a bit
geeky last week and got into the specifics of this
(13:03):
on last week's episode about weigh specifically around the part
of your brain that craves sugar. But spoiler alert, this
is literally the same part of your brain that craves
social media and little hits of that bite size entertainment
that we tend to go after. So yeah, like I said,
this week's episode in last week's episode are more interrelated
than it might seem. But I digress, you know, back
(13:24):
to the little experiment I took myself on. So yeah,
it's not just about what I'm not feeding my brain,
but it's about what I am feeding it. But one
other important thing to note, and I don't have any
empirical evidence about this.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
It's all anecdotal, of course, But for me, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
I've never technically been diagnosed with ADHD, but I always
kind of felt like I had a little bit of
attention deficit. And what I'm deducing from this experiment, and
I remember it from the last times I've done it,
is that I was creating more of that attention deficit
because I was constantly switching around and bopping around on
my phone. And I can tell that my attention is
(14:03):
already getting so much better just in the few days
of being more intentional. And this just goes into that
category of our brains, are these teachable, pliable, multiple things, right.
So I'll just leave it at that, because there's here
so much more I can say about all of this.
But before we end, I wanted to just give you
a few super simple things that you can do to
(14:26):
just start taking ownership of your relationship with social media
and just become intentional when it comes to whether it's
helping or hurting you, and whether it's a tool or
a weapon. So thing number one is just to audit yourself,
so you know, how often are you mindlessly scrolling through
your news feed out of habit or boredom. And you know,
I'm not talking about actively participating in a group you
(14:49):
belong to or posting updates. I'm talking you know, just
strictly mindless like scrolling and that distracting behavior. Right, So
just do a little audit and maybe you could even
use the screen time on your phone and see and
just get the facts, like get the data right. There's
no shame in that number whatsoever. But awareness and acceptance
of the truth is the first step in changing anything.
(15:10):
So just becoming aware and like doing a little audit, right.
Thing number two is to go through and more or less,
you know, do a purge or a cleanse of people
you follow that are not serving you. Because, like we
talked about, influence is influence, and just make sure that
the people that you are following or being influenced by
(15:30):
that they're.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Feeding your soul or filling up your.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Cup and influencing you in the direction that you want
to be going, right, But also be especially aware of
the friends or the influencers that you're following that really
rob you of energy, you know, So it's on.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Them when it comes to how they show up online.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
But it's on you to filter your influences and guard
your own energy. And so it can be as simple
as just asking yourself, you know, does this person bring
me joy? Or does it rob me of my energy? Right,
can be as simple as that. Thing number three is
this might sound interesting, but like yourself first.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So number three is to like yourself first.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
So this is where I just invite you to pay
attention to how much of your self esteem or your
mood or your self worth is attached to how many
likes or comments or responses you get on social media.
So a quick mindset shift might just be as simple
as you know, before you post something, ask yourself, you know,
even if no one likes this or comments or shares this, like,
(16:31):
do I still want to share it? And so imagine
if you started posting based on what you like and
what you think and what makes you happy.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And again it's.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
So subtle, but if you are someone who posts things
on social and maybe it's it's it's stressful for you, right,
then it could help take some of that stress out
of how you think it will be received because you'll
be posting for you.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Thing number four.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Is to assess your actual human connection levels. Right, So,
for you, like, does your social connection, or like your
online social media use, does it truly make you feel
connected or does it create more of a disconnect in
your head in your heart? Because humans are wired to
seek connection, We are wired for it. It's not just
a desire, it's a require. And so if your current
(17:17):
level of social connection isn't doing the trick for you,
I really invite you to get offline and go seek
actual human connection because it is the most you know,
powerful and most underutilized drug out there, human connection, right,
and not to mention it's free. So that's thing number four.
And then thing number five is to simply take an
(17:37):
inventory of how you're feeling before you log on or
open the app. So are you conscious or aware of
the situations or times that social.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Media is good for you in moments?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Or are you and are you aware of when social
media might not be the best thing for you in
those moments?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
So, again this is moment to moment, day by day thing.
But when you become mindful of when and how you
use social media, you become the boss of your social
brain and your mental emotional health. Okay, so trust me,
I know that this line of self questioning and these awarenesses, Yeah,
it's a bit unconventional, but I guarantee that if you
(18:14):
take the time and effort to identify the triggers in
your life and when you're using things as a tool
or a weapon in this case, you know we're talking
about social media, you're not going to fall victim to
your habits anymore and you're not going to feel so
out of control. And really, awareness is the key when
it comes to changing any habit that has become fired
and wired in your brain. And social media, I mean,
(18:35):
it's not going away anytime soon, right, So I really
do believe it's our duty to make sure that we
own it more than it owns us okay, because it
really is and can be this magical thing and a
tool that can create, you know, massive amounts of expression
and connection that wouldn't otherwise be possible without it. But
we've got to be intentional when it comes to how
(18:58):
and why we use it, so we do get to
use it as that powerful tool that.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
It really is.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
So that's it for today, outweigh, I hope this gave
you just a bit more perspective and awareness about who
you are being and how you are feeling when you're
using social media. And whether you are using it as
a tool or a weapon. And you know, again, neither
one is good or bad, right or wrong. There's no shame, right,
it just simply becomes a matter of being conscious and aware.
(19:24):
So if you liked what you heard today and you
want to hear more about the process of rewiring your
own brain when it comes to food in your body,
then feel free to head on over to Stresslesseding dot
com and you can check out my Stressless Eating webinar
where I walk you through the exact five step game
plan that my clients use to heal themselves from that
all or nothing diet mentality for good, but you know,
(19:46):
without restricting themselves and punishing their bodies, and definitely without
ever having to use words like Macro's low carb or
calorie burns. So I've laid it all out there for
you in five easy steps over at stressless Heeding dot
com And if you liked today's episode, we will be
back next week for more outweigh where we're going to
talk about why you stopped trusting yourself and how.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
To earn your own trust back.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
So, if you're someone that keeps promises to everyone else
but yourself and you've kind of lost that trust in yourself,
or you maybe don't believe yourself when.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
You commit and say, Okay, this time is going to
be different.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Join me next week on out Way because we're going
to talk about all of that and how to earn
your own trust back, because I promise you you absolutely can.
So I'm Leanne Ellington and I will talk to you
then
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am, I you, I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then will always out way if you feel it
with your hands and be here, She'll some love to
the foot there take you day and did you and
die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday. Out Weigh.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington and I'm a friend of Amy's and
the author and creator of Stressless Heeding. And something cool
that Amy asked me to do was to come be
the resident guest host for a few episodes of Outweigh,
and we started doing this last week, So if you
miss that, you'll definitely want to check that out where
we got all into the nitty gritty details of why
your brain thinks it wants sugar. So if you struggle
(01:00):
with mindless eeding, or you tend to gravitate towards food
when you're bored, sad, lonely, or stressed, or you just
sometimes wonder if you're actively self sabotaging your health, then
definitely go back and check that out because it's the
piece of the puzzle that for me, no one ever
educated me about. It's also interesting because you might wonder
(01:20):
what that has to do with today's topic, which is
all about whether social media is helping or harming your
self esteem and your relationship with food in your body.
So I'll show you how even those social media and
your brain's relationship to sugar might not seem like they're related.
By the end of this episode, you'll fully understand how
(01:40):
on a brain level they are absolutely one hundred percent related.
But before we dive into that, I want to just
give you a sneak peek of what's coming up on Outweigh,
because once again, this whole conversation around food and our
bodies and our health, well it's definitely this three dimensional
subject matter. And that's why in the coming weeks we
will be talking about things like why you stopped trusting
(02:03):
yourself and how to earn your own trust back, why
weekend self sabotage is a thing, and what to do
about it, and how to know if you're using food
and exercise as a tool or as a weapon. But
back to is social media helping or harming your self
esteem and your relationship with food and your body. So
(02:23):
this is actually one of the first things I talked
to my clients about because it's one of those things
that not many people really take into account or think about.
But I believe that you can actually tell a lot
about someone's emotional health and what I would call their
social health based on their relationship with social media. So
just to give you some context and almost put a
wrapper around what we're going to cover today, there's a
(02:45):
big distinction that I want to make, and it's the
difference between using something as a tool and using it
as a weapon. So a very obvious example would be
when I had spine surgery and I was in a
lot of pain afterwards, they prescribed me opiate's as a
tool to help me deal with my pain, and using
them responsibly, I could use them as a tool for
(03:06):
what they were designed for, to help manage my pain.
But to the tens of thousands of people that die
from opioid overdoses every single year, that same drug, that
same substance is no longer a helpful tool, but instead
now it's become a weapon of abuse and destruction and addiction.
And yeah, even though technically it's the same substance in
(03:28):
one case, it's a helpful tool and in one case
it's a destructive weapon. So I know that's a very
extreme example, but I really just want you to get
the concept here.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So sugar is another example.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
It can be a tool for pleasure, for creativity and
baking in the kitchen, connecting with family or friends over
a treat, and a tool to help regulate insulin and
blood sugar for a diabetic I know sugar has been
villainized in today's society, but sugar as it's designed is
not this bad or evil thing, but too much of it,
(04:02):
using it mindlessly, using it to fill a void of sadness, loneliness, comfort,
or stress or any other air quotes, abuse of it
where it harms your health or your lifestyle. That same sugar,
that same substance, used in a different way, can become
a weapon that harms us in the long run. And again,
if that's something you're currently struggling with, definitely go back
(04:23):
and listen to last week's episode of Outweigh. So back
to this whole social media thing. Is it a tool
or is it a weapon? So let's talk about that.
On one hand, I can use it as a tool
to connect with others, have fun, express myself, find amazing
like minded people with similar interests or similar struggles. You know,
(04:44):
access cool information, keep up with current events or happenings.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
You get the picture. Right.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
So, things like Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms
are and can be one powerful.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Tool if used as a tool.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But if I'm using it mindlessly or unintentionally, I can
easily become a victim of its wrath, and it can
easily become a weapon of mass distraction, criticism, judgment, shame.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
And isolation.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Not to mention social media if you aren't mindful and intentional,
or you simply allow it to be, it can be
used as one big comparison trap. And you know what
they say, comparison is the thief of joy. But especially
for the people out there that also struggle with self
esteem or body image or self worth, I believe that
(05:33):
we can be even.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
More susceptible to this.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Now, it's important to mention that social media is not
this inherently good or bad, right or wrong thing right.
It's not good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. It's simply
a matter of how you're using it that determines if
it becomes a tool or if it becomes a weapon.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
And that is simply.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
A matter of who you are being and how you're
feeling when you're using it. So, for example, when I'm
feeling happy and healthy and feeling confident about myself, you know,
social media is this awesome tool.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
It doesn't infiltrate my mood.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It doesn't send me down a spiral, it doesn't affect
me negatively. You know, it might even make me feel
more connected to my friends or even uplift my mood.
But if I'm already sad or I'm already feeling a
little bit wobbly in my self esteem that day, social
media probably isn't the best thing for me in those moments.
(06:28):
And if I'm not mindful, it could be the thing
that kind of sends me down this spiral or this
rabbit hole. And if I'm feeling a bit down, you
better believe that my life is going to pale in
comparison to the people on my friend's list from childhood
or the people that have the you know, air quotes
perfect body or the perfect life, or the perfect family
(06:49):
or the perfect career. Right, And I'm obviously putting perfect
into air quotes, because there is no such thing But
when I'm using social media to compare myself to others
or compare myself to where I think i'm you know,
air ques both supposed to be, or compare my life
to someone else's life, of course I'm going to feel
bad because now social media is no longer a tool
(07:09):
to make me feel connected. It's become a weapon that
I'm using against myself to feel disconnected. And so who's
to say I can't look at my Facebook or Instagram
feed and simply be happy for those that I'm comparing
myself to.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Right?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Who says I have to use it as some measuring
stick to stack myself up against when it comes to
other people? Right, I'm guessing it wasn't created for this purpose.
And that's why I truly believe. You know, we've got
to take radical ownership of who we're being and how
we're feeling before we pick up our phones or scroll
through that feed, because it literally is going to feed something.
(07:46):
You know, it's called a feed, right, So is it
going to feed the good feelings or the bad?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Is it going to feed joy or comparison? Is it
going to be used as a tool of mass connection
or a weapon of despair, and that's why it's it's
so important that we use it intentionally.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Now, that's not to say don't be human, right, because
don't get me wrong, I'm totally human. And the social
part of my brain loves seeing that someone hit the
like button on my post or that the picture I
posted of something I'm doing in my life got some
engagement or comments.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
But there's a massive difference between desiring interaction on social
media and requiring it in order to feel happy or
to fuel your self esteem. And so again, just being
aware of these distinctions is going to give you a
whole new awareness so that you can go use social
media in a healthy way that fuels your self esteem
(08:41):
and fuels your body image because you know, at the
end of the day, influences influence, right. So again, nothing's good, bad, right, wrong?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Should should it?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
But it's so important to be mindful and I would
even go as far as say vigilant about who and
what we are being influenced by. And this is going
to potentially change, you know, day by day or just
dependent on the season that you're currently in.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So, for example, if I were in the thick of
food and body in the struggles, it might not be
a good idea for me to be around you know,
diet mentality or weight loss centric kind of stuff, right,
It might be better for me in those in that
season to be influenced by things like you know, the
Outweigh podcast or you know, things that talk about healing
(09:27):
or body image or maybe spiritual stuff or mental emotional
self care, that kind of thing. And so in those
moments when I'm susceptible or fragile or vulnerable, having someone
in my feed and again not that it's bad or wrong,
but having somebody in my feed telling me that a
smoothie recipe is going to be in air quotes you know,
life saver or game changer that might send.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Me down the wrong rabbit hole.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Because again, influences influence, So you do want to start
being mindful of things like, you know, is this really
good for me right now?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And is this good for the person that I'm trying
to become.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
So it comes down to or what it's really about,
is that wisdom and discernment and using social media intentionally
right and really knowing where you are and knowing where
you aren't in each moment and getting really you know,
just in tune with what's good for you and what's
not good for you. And again it doesn't mean it's
not good.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
For you forever.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
But you can just use those goggles moment by moment,
day by day and look at it through the you know,
does this serve me?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Or is this good for me? Kind of filter?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
And that is the kind of filter and the line
of thinking that you can use every single day and
it will always.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Meet you where you are.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
So that's really it. You know, it doesn't have to
be any more complicated than that. You know, you don't
have to go do any you know, deep work around
your relationship with.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Social media or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
You just want to shed light and awareness on who
you're being and how you're feeling really before, during, and
after you use it and simply just be intentional. And
in just a second, I'm going to give you five
quick tips that you can use to do just that.
But before I do that, I wanted to share a
personal anecdote about this. I wanted to share a personal
(11:16):
anecdote about this. So every once in a while I
do a little what I call feast, so kind of
the opposite of a fast right where I purposefully spend
a lot more time offline, and instead I feast on
things that fill up my soul. And it just so
happens that about ten days ago, I started one of
my feasts. So all I did was I just took
(11:39):
Facebook and Instagram off of my phone. I didn't make
any hard and fast rules that I wasn't allowed to
go on there or anything like that, you know, so
I still, you know, go on my laptop and I
check my messages and you know.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Check a couple things a couple times a day.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
But the key was it wasn't on my phone or
super readily available and accessible.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
So here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
First off, I wasn't incessantly opening it, right, so my
brain was not incessantly seeing and hearing and being influenced
by anything or anyone online. But it wasn't just what
I wasn't doing or seeing. It was also what I
chose to replace that time and energy with. And for me,
(12:21):
I just kept it really simple, and I replaced it
with reading, listening, and writing, like you know, reading and
listening to specific books and podcasts that filled my soul
and spending time on my own you know, spiritual practice
and writing and being creative, So again, it wasn't complicated.
I've literally just been reading and writing and some listening
to instead. And don't get me wrong, it was challenging
(12:42):
at first because you know, my brain was very used
to looking for those little hits of dopamine I got
when checking my phone in between work tasks or just
out of habit when I wasn't mindful, right, And again,
if you want to know all about that and how
that works inside your brain, I did get a bit
geeky last week and got into the specifics of this
(13:03):
on last week's episode about weigh specifically around the part
of your brain that craves sugar. But spoiler alert, this
is literally the same part of your brain that craves
social media and little hits of that bite size entertainment
that we tend to go after. So yeah, like I said,
this week's episode in last week's episode are more interrelated
than it might seem. But I digress, you know, back
(13:24):
to the little experiment I took myself on. So yeah,
it's not just about what I'm not feeding my brain,
but it's about what I am feeding it. But one
other important thing to note, and I don't have any
empirical evidence about this.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
It's all anecdotal, of course, But for me, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
I've never technically been diagnosed with ADHD, but I always
kind of felt like I had a little bit of
attention deficit. And what I'm deducing from this experiment, and
I remember it from the last times I've done it,
is that I was creating more of that attention deficit
because I was constantly switching around and bopping around on
my phone. And I can tell that my attention is
(14:03):
already getting so much better just in the few days
of being more intentional. And this just goes into that
category of our brains, are these teachable, pliable, multiple things, right.
So I'll just leave it at that, because there's here
so much more I can say about all of this.
But before we end, I wanted to just give you
a few super simple things that you can do to
(14:26):
just start taking ownership of your relationship with social media
and just become intentional when it comes to whether it's
helping or hurting you, and whether it's a tool or
a weapon. So thing number one is just to audit yourself,
so you know, how often are you mindlessly scrolling through
your news feed out of habit or boredom. And you know,
I'm not talking about actively participating in a group you
(14:49):
belong to or posting updates. I'm talking you know, just
strictly mindless like scrolling and that distracting behavior. Right, So
just do a little audit and maybe you could even
use the screen time on your phone and see and
just get the facts, like get the data right. There's
no shame in that number whatsoever. But awareness and acceptance
of the truth is the first step in changing anything.
(15:10):
So just becoming aware and like doing a little audit, right.
Thing number two is to go through and more or less,
you know, do a purge or a cleanse of people
you follow that are not serving you. Because, like we
talked about, influence is influence, and just make sure that
the people that you are following or being influenced by
(15:30):
that they're.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Feeding your soul or filling up your.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Cup and influencing you in the direction that you want
to be going, right, But also be especially aware of
the friends or the influencers that you're following that really
rob you of energy, you know, So it's on.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Them when it comes to how they show up online.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
But it's on you to filter your influences and guard
your own energy. And so it can be as simple
as just asking yourself, you know, does this person bring
me joy? Or does it rob me of my energy? Right,
can be as simple as that. Thing number three is
this might sound interesting, but like yourself first.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So number three is to like yourself first.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
So this is where I just invite you to pay
attention to how much of your self esteem or your
mood or your self worth is attached to how many
likes or comments or responses you get on social media.
So a quick mindset shift might just be as simple
as you know, before you post something, ask yourself, you know,
even if no one likes this or comments or shares this, like,
(16:31):
do I still want to share it? And so imagine
if you started posting based on what you like and
what you think and what makes you happy.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And again it's.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
So subtle, but if you are someone who posts things
on social and maybe it's it's it's stressful for you, right,
then it could help take some of that stress out
of how you think it will be received because you'll
be posting for you.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Thing number four.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Is to assess your actual human connection levels. Right, So,
for you, like, does your social connection, or like your
online social media use, does it truly make you feel
connected or does it create more of a disconnect in
your head in your heart? Because humans are wired to
seek connection, We are wired for it. It's not just
a desire, it's a require. And so if your current
(17:17):
level of social connection isn't doing the trick for you,
I really invite you to get offline and go seek
actual human connection because it is the most you know,
powerful and most underutilized drug out there, human connection, right,
and not to mention it's free. So that's thing number four.
And then thing number five is to simply take an
(17:37):
inventory of how you're feeling before you log on or
open the app. So are you conscious or aware of
the situations or times that social.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Media is good for you in moments?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Or are you and are you aware of when social
media might not be the best thing for you in
those moments?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
So, again this is moment to moment, day by day thing.
But when you become mindful of when and how you
use social media, you become the boss of your social
brain and your mental emotional health. Okay, so trust me,
I know that this line of self questioning and these awarenesses, Yeah,
it's a bit unconventional, but I guarantee that if you
(18:14):
take the time and effort to identify the triggers in
your life and when you're using things as a tool
or a weapon in this case, you know we're talking
about social media, you're not going to fall victim to
your habits anymore and you're not going to feel so
out of control. And really, awareness is the key when
it comes to changing any habit that has become fired
and wired in your brain. And social media, I mean,
(18:35):
it's not going away anytime soon, right, So I really
do believe it's our duty to make sure that we
own it more than it owns us okay, because it
really is and can be this magical thing and a
tool that can create, you know, massive amounts of expression
and connection that wouldn't otherwise be possible without it. But
we've got to be intentional when it comes to how
(18:58):
and why we use it, so we do get to
use it as that powerful tool that.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
It really is.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
So that's it for today, outweigh, I hope this gave
you just a bit more perspective and awareness about who
you are being and how you are feeling when you're
using social media. And whether you are using it as
a tool or a weapon. And you know, again, neither
one is good or bad, right or wrong. There's no shame, right,
it just simply becomes a matter of being conscious and aware.
(19:24):
So if you liked what you heard today and you
want to hear more about the process of rewiring your
own brain when it comes to food in your body,
then feel free to head on over to Stresslesseding dot
com and you can check out my Stressless Eating webinar
where I walk you through the exact five step game
plan that my clients use to heal themselves from that
all or nothing diet mentality for good, but you know,
(19:46):
without restricting themselves and punishing their bodies, and definitely without
ever having to use words like Macro's low carb or
calorie burns. So I've laid it all out there for
you in five easy steps over at stressless Heeding dot
com And if you liked today's episode, we will be
back next week for more outweigh where we're going to
talk about why you stopped trusting yourself and how.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
To earn your own trust back.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
So, if you're someone that keeps promises to everyone else
but yourself and you've kind of lost that trust in yourself,
or you maybe don't believe yourself when.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
You commit and say, Okay, this time is going to
be different.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Join me next week on out Way because we're going
to talk about all of that and how to earn
your own trust back, because I promise you you absolutely can.
So I'm Leanne Ellington and I will talk to you
then
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Amy Brown
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