October 31, 2024 • 28 mins
Amy shares her experience of how our bodies remember trauma, especially around significant anniversaries, as this past weekend marked 10-years since she lost her mom to cancer. Amy talks about the importance of journaling and meditation for processing, but she also has Leanne Ellington join her for a special exercise that will come in handy when your body is stressed and needs to reset! Leanne guides us through a soothing 9-minute relaxation exercise to help you unwind and access the parasympathetic nervous system. Come back to this relaxation exercise anytime you need to rest…use it as a tool to support your emotional well-being and rejuvenate your spirit.
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cats up road man, little food for yourself life. Oh
it's pretty but hey, it's pretty beautiful man, beautiful for
that for.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
A little more exciting, said he.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You're kicking with full.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
With Amy Brown, Happy Thursday, four things, Amy here. And
I am part of a Mastermind group with some of
my girlfriends and I love it. We meet probably every
six weeks or so, and we rotate who leads it.
And I've got my friend Leanne Ellington on right now
because I asked her to come on and talk about
(00:53):
something that she led us through on our last Mastermind.
I feel like every time somebody leads, we have a
little nugget that we walk away with. But lean did
something different. It was very interactive, sort of experiential if
you've ever done that type of work. But it is
also very relaxing, which I needed. And this is kind
(01:15):
of coming at a time where this week my body
I know that I need to be super intentional about
resetting in a way. So Leanne, Hi, by the way, Hi,
I've got Leanne on zoom and I was sharing with
her that last Sunday was the ten year anniversary of
(01:38):
my mom's death.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
And you know, sometimes our minds and our bodies.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
They hold on to memories in such unexpected ways, like
there could be a familiar scent or a song that
comes on the radio, or a particular season will pull
us right back to a moment that we hadn't thought
of in a while. Now, obviously an actual anniversary on
the calendar that will bring about feelings, but I started
(02:04):
to notice, even just with fall weather, my body started
to take on some of what I felt that time
of year losing my mom, because it was smack dab
in the middle of fall, and there's so many indicators
of fall. The leaves are changing, the leaves are falling,
the temperatures are dropping, and for some of us, a
(02:27):
trauma trigger may come up just with one little tiny thought,
or it might be something like the changing of a
season like that. So it doesn't necessarily have to be
something like, oh, now it's fall, but the anniversary of
the loss of a loved one or something like that
can be very difficult, or sometimes it may not impact
(02:49):
you at all. It's really weird how our brains decide
what's going to impact us at what given moment, even
if it's been years, like our bodies will remember the
feelings vividly as I like, no time has passed it all.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
And when my mom passed away ten.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Years ago, it changed everything for me, and sometimes even
to day, my body feels like it did on that day. Now,
thankfully my behavior doesn't come back with it. But something
interesting that happened the day after my mom died ten
years ago is my eating disorder came back. And I
would say, you know, if I were to have had
(03:26):
an eating disorder chip leanne, sort of like someone may
have in recovery from alcohol or something, I had my
own little imaginary chip like it had been maybe twelve
years or something since I had purged in any way,
and it was sort of just like boom. The day
after my mom died, that behavior came back, and it
(03:50):
was almost out of body. It's not like I really
knew that's what I was doing, but it instantly became
a coping mechanism for me. Something my brain knew like, hey,
this is going to help numb you because this is
very painful and we don't like feeling this. And so
thankfully where I am now, my body can have a
(04:11):
lot of those same feelings that I was having that day.
But gosh, I just had such gratitude. I guess it
was on Monday, so Sunday was the anniversary, and then
Monday was my sister's birthday, so my sister had a
birthday day after my mom passed away. And I think
that that was also confusing too, because we had this
big party and there was all this food, and I
(04:32):
was like, what do I do? Anyway, it just kind
of led to that being my behavior of choice at
the time, and then it continued for five and a
half years after that, and then I got into recovery,
thank goodness. But my point of that is my body
still goes back to feeling certain things, but I now
have gratitude for the growth and how far I've come,
(04:55):
because it's not like that means that instantly I start
partaking and some of the behaviors. And for me, it
was that part of my eating disorder. For somebody else,
that could be taking a sip or doing another harmful
type behavior. Insert I'm sure we could sit here and
list off tons of things. So my point is, if
(05:17):
you ever have a trauma response in that way, just
know that you're not alone, you're not broken. Your brain
is doing what it thinks it needs to do. To
protect you from the pain. So have a lot of
compassion for yourself. But our bodies, our brains, they have
this way of revisiting the trauma as like it's protecting us.
And for me, learning to recognize this, this natural reaction
(05:40):
that my body is having has helped me handle the
moments and then again have that compassion for myself. And
so when a memory surfaces or a feeling comes up,
I try to ground myself in the present. I focus
on my breath, I remind myself where I am. I
even say out loud like I'm safe, I am here now,
I'm okay. And this gives me permission to revisit the
(06:02):
old feelings and even allow myself to grieve all over again.
If that's the case, I firmly believe the grieving never ends.
It's always there with us. It just feels a little
different depending on the day. Like Megan Divine, she talks
about the grief backpack, and you may be wearing your
backpack all the time, but sometimes your grief backpack is
(06:25):
just going to feel a little heavier than it did
any other day. So if you're going through a similar experience,
just know that you're not alone. There's no rule on
how we should feel. And sometimes I think one of
the bravest things you can do is just allow yourself
to feel whatever it is in that moment. Because if
(06:47):
you stuff it down, or you don't address it, or
you even say like, oh, I just don't really have
time for this right now, you're doing yourself a disservice.
So I wanted Leanne to come on and lead us
through something again. She did it for our mastermind several
weeks ago, and Leanne, I haven't stopped thinking about it.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And I was thinking, like this, this is just so good.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And I know that the holidays can bring up a
lot for people, so maybe it's not the pain of
you've lost someone, but just holidays in your family might
bring about a lot of discomfort. So this is a
tool that you can have to help you through this season.
And Leanne, I'll let you explain the exercise and what
(07:31):
you're gonna do. But the reason why I say you're
doing yourself a disservice if you don't acknowledge is because
when you start to stuff it down, then it just
gets worse and worse and worse, and you can maybe
think you've got to handle on it, like, I don't
really have time for this right now. You're good at compartmentalizing,
but eventually it will bubble over and you're gonna explode
in some way and it's gonna either impact you, or
(07:53):
maybe you end up yelling at your kids and you
don't want to, or treating your partner a way that
you don't want to, or having a meltdown at work
that you you don't necessarily want to have. When it
comes to your profession, although I have been known to
cry at work from time to time, I think it's
totally okay.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
But maybe your work is like not really into that.
So you just want to make sure you're taking care
of yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And on Sunday, I got out my journal and I
just pinned a paper and I kept flowing and tears
were rolling down my face. And I woke up early
that morning leanne like. It was probably five thirty on
a weekend morning, and I don't really wake up at
five thirty on the weekends, but it was still dark out,
(08:38):
and I had that same feeling of when I was
woken up that morning that my mom passed. I was
taking I call it a nap because we weren't really
sleeping that much because you never knew when was going
to be her time. So I was on my sister's
couch and I remember somebody nudging me. Can't remember who,
but they're like, wake up, wake up, it's time. There's
(08:59):
a pattern that starts to happen with our breath when
our final moments are approaching. So they knew, like, Curry,
get in there, you're going to want to be with her.
And I woke up and it was dark and I
sort of had that exact feeling, and it maybe it
was because it was ten years. I was just thinking
about it more. I'm not quite sure because some years
it really doesn't impact me. But I decided, look, I
(09:22):
think today could be hard. So I'm going to be
as proactive as possible, and I'm going to go downstairs.
I'm going to get out my journal. I'm going to cry,
I'm going to let it out. I'm going to go
for my walking meditation, I'm going to pray. I'm gonna
look up at the sky and talk to my mom.
And that may sound silly for some of you, but
for me, it was exactly what I needed and what
(09:44):
Leanne is going to walk us through I think might
be exactly what some of you need this time of year.
And you can even earmark where this is like when
she starts doing it, and you can come back and
do this exercise as many times as you need to.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
So if you have a specific thing that.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Pops up, or if you're just like ugh, I need
to need to get myself in a more regulated, peaceful,
parasympathetic nervous system type mood, because that's the energy Leanne
is about to drop on us.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
This is an exercise that will get you there.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
And so that's just my little backstory of why I
wanted to have Leanne come on and do this particular
exercise now because also selfishly, I want to have it
to reference as well, because Leanne now it's going to
be recorded for him and we'll have it here on
the podcast. But I wanted that on Saturday, Like I
remember thinking, or excuse me, on Sunday, I was thinking like, oh,
(10:43):
wish I had Lianne's exercise to add it, but I
had my other tools that I busted out. But this
will be something that people can use. So thank you
for taking the time to come on Leanne and do
this exercise with us.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, absolutely, well, thank you for sharing your heart and
sharing the behind the scenes of this, and you're absolutely correct.
We can have thoughts and memories and trauma stored in
our body and then just the go go go of
a heightened lifestyle can lead us to just be running
in that kind of sympathetic dominant state in our brain,
and a lot of us think we don't have time. Actually,
(11:16):
the biggest blockade was the reason that I created this
was because for myself, actually I didn't think I could meditate.
I was just one of those people that I was like,
I don't have the ability. I didn't think I could.
I didn't think it was a skill that I could acquire.
I tried and my monkey mind took over. But when
I met my logic and reason brain with oh, there's
a sympathetic branch of my nervous system and I can
(11:37):
actually just access that and kind of hack into it,
that's when it changed. And so literally what I'm going
to walk you through now is just three different access
points to access your parasympathetic nervous system. Even if you've
told yourself I can't meditate, even if you have a
monkey mind that goes one thousand miles a minute. Even
if you have a hard time relaxing. This is fool
proof because we are going to literally hijack your brain.
(11:59):
And so the three and said I'm going to introduce
you to. One is a concept that I call sensory breathing.
So we've all learned how to breathe, but a lot
of times we don't breathe properly. So what I'm going
to invite you to do is, every time you breathe in,
picture your belly expanding like a big balloon, which is
the opposite a lot of us. We breathe it in
and we suck our belly in. So I want you
to think about breathing and expanding your belly like a
(12:20):
big balloon, and every time you breathe out letting your
belly contract but breathing. What we're going to do is
we're going to again hijack the sensory system, not just
the respiratory system, but the sensory system, because your nervous
system can't tell the difference between a real and an
imagined experience. So when I invite you to breathe in
and picture it's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air. And
(12:40):
by the way, you can get some essential oils and
you can actually have peppermint, but you don't need to
actually have that in your mind to picture cool, crisp, blue,
pepperminty air, because your nervous system can perceive that experience.
And why I invite you to breathe out and then
I invite you to picture it's a red, hot, fiery
cinnamony air. And this is how we access and kind
of hack into your nervous system via the sensory system.
(13:04):
The taste, the color, the texture, the smell, all of
the things aligned with your breath. So that's one easy
access point to the parasympathetic nervous system that I'm going
to walk you through.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
The second access.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Point is through your cranial nerves. You have twelve in
total that are covering the entire surface area of your head,
your neck, your hairline, your jawline, your earlobes, the base
of your skull, so your entire cranium. There's twelve in
total nerves that are a direct access point also to
your parasympathetic nervous system. So just scratching, massaging, tapping, touching,
giving any stimulus to those areas the fascia of your
(13:38):
face included is going to again access one more notch
into that parasympathetic nervous system. And all of these can
be used independently or together. And then the third access
point to the parasympathetic nervous system. One of my favorite
things about this third access point is we're going to
use what's called isometric squeezes. And the cool thing about
isometrics is, let's say you're sedentary, let's say you have
(14:00):
chronic pain, let's say you're injured. Right, all of these
exercises are going to be safe to the nervous system because,
first of all, gravity is not involved. You're going to
be seated or laying down. And second of all, there's movement,
but there's no motion, so it's actually really safe to
the nervous system. And studies show that isometric squeezes can
actually down regulate pain because pain is a nervous system event,
(14:23):
and so it's actually been proven to down regulate pain.
So it's very common that my clients do these isometric
squeezes and their pain levels go down a few notches
on the pain scale just from doing these isometrics. So
I'm going to walk you through all three of those
right now.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Okay, so we'll do the exercise in just a minute.
But since I did mention what came up for me
ten years ago when my eating disorder returned, I do
want to use this as an opportunity before we get
into the exercise, because I want to disrupt that flow
to talk about Outweigh. Lean co hosts that with me.
(14:58):
It loads up on this Fourth Things feed every Saturday
and you can download and listen to it, or Outweigh
has its own feed. But Outweigh is a life without
disordered eating, outweys everything. That's the tagline. It started here
on four Things four years ago or so. It's just
a bonus series and now it's its own podcast, and
Lean's done a phenomenal job with it, and she came
(15:21):
up with a holiday series that we just recorded and
it'll be airing November sixteenth and then the following three
Saturdays to kind of get you through Thanksgiving and Christmas
when food and body stuff can really be magnified and heightened.
Speaking of triggers, I was talking about my trigger of
(15:45):
you know, my mom's death even just the other day,
and how I handled it, and again, I have so
much gratitude for the growth that I've had because I
had all my tools, and I have my tools because
of amazing people that have poured into me Lean being
one of them, and other experts and books that I've read,
and just repetition the journey that I have been on
(16:06):
to where that is my natural instinct of like, oh,
I know, I need to sit down and do XYZ
and I'm going to process through this. Whereas ten years
ago I didn't have these exact tools. My brain defaulted
to a habit I created as my teenage brain, something
that I started years before, and I honestly thought I
(16:29):
had left long behind me that one particular habit. Little
did I know, I mean, quote unquote I thought it
was in recovery, but there was all kinds of other
sneaky little things in there, like orthorexia, which I didn't
know was a thing, but my obsession with certain types
of food. So outweigh is just an option. If that
happens to be part of your story, or you would
(16:51):
like to know more, or you have a daughter or
a loved one that you think might be struggling in
that way, Outweigh can be a really good resource for
you and yeah, I guess With that said, Land, we'll
probably do a quick commercial break now just to get
that out of the way, and then when we return,
we will just go right into Lean's exercise and say
(17:14):
the peppermint I remember we're doing that during the Mastermind.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I was like, oh, I like this, and you really can.
You can sense it.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
You can.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
You don't have to have the smells.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Absolutely so when you breathe in, just picture it's a
cool crisp blue pepperminty air, and every time you breathe out,
it's a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And That's what I'll lead you through.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
But you can you can pretend that it is a
cool crisp, purple, you know, lavender air or a bright,
shindy yellow lemony air.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Like it really works.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You're literally just hijacking the nervous systm through the sensory system.
But I'll be walking you through the cool crisp, blue
pepperminty air and a red hot, fiery cinnamony air for
that part of it.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Awesome.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I cannot wait for y'all to do this so quick
commercials right now and then we come back. Be ready,
don't be driving okay, thiks all right, Lann, throwing it
(18:15):
over to you, But y'all make sure to say this
and reference it, and I promise you come back to it.
It's gonna feel so good again. You're not driving right
now when you're doing this. Save it for when you
get home or when you can really give yourself the
gift of this time.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
It does not take long.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
But give yourself this gift and then come back to
it as many times as you need it. Because when
you let our mastermind through it, Liam, I was like,
oh man, I wish I had this.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
It just felt so good.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Or like say you have a meeting coming up, or
you've got something going on where you just need to
kind of just be more relaxed and in that paarasympathetic
brain do this over and over and over.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
All.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Right, I'm just gonna let Leanne take it. We're gonna
let it roll and then that'll that'll be the end.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
But enjoy it. You deserve this time now, mistake.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Go ahead and find your breath, and every time you
breathe in, I want you to picture your belly expanding
like a big balloon. And every time you breathe out,
imagine the air releasing from that balloon and your belly contracting,
So breathe it in. Your belly's going to expand like
(19:31):
a big balloon, and every time you breathe out, your
belly is going to contract.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So keep that breath going.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
And now we're going to add the next layer of
your sensory system, so color, taste, texture, smell. Remember, your
nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real and
an imagined experience.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So every time.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
You breathe in, I eat a picture, it's a cool, crisp,
blue pepperminty air, and every time you breathe out, it's
a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
So breathe it in.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air, and every time
you breathe out, it's a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
And keep that breath going. Now, let's just slow it
down so you're gonna breathe it in for four counts.
(20:35):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air, and breathe it
out for four counts. It's a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
So breathe it in. Your belly will like span like
a big balloon.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air, and every time
you breathe out that belly will contract.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
It's a red hot, fiery cinnamon. So four in, four.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Out, and now we're gonna slow it down even further
by turning that into a box breath.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
So breathe it in for four, hold it for four,
breathe it out for four, and hold it for four.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
So let's go. Breathe it in for four.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Hold it for four and then breathe it out for four.
It's a red hot, fiery cinnamon the air, and then
hold it for four. So in four, hold four out, four, hold.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Four, beautiful, and just finish up the box that you're on.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Great.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
So that is one access point to our parasympathetic nervous
system through your breath and your sensory system.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
The second access.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Point is going to be through your cranial nerves. So
you have twelve in total that cover the entire surface
area of your head, your face, your neck, your cranium,
your jawline, your earlobes, all of it. So you're just
going to take your hands and scratch, massage, tap, touch,
whatever feels good the entire surface area of your head,
(22:40):
your face, your neck, your hairline, all of it. So
just go ahead, take your hands.
Speaker 6 (22:46):
And relax those cranial nerves, keep breathing, and imagine blood
and oxygen and going to all of the places that
you are enervating.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Notice where you have.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Any tension or tightness, and just spend a little bit
of extra time there.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Beautiful, just take one last pass and then bring your
arms down by your side. Amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
So that is our second access point to the parasympathetic
nervous system, those cranial nerves. The third access point is
going to be through your muscle. So this is going
to be super safe to the nervous system.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Because there's movement, but there's no motion. It's isometric. So
you are going to hear.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Me guide you through isometric squeezing. So squeezing as tight
as you can for a certain body part for five seconds,
followed by ultimate relaxation and imagine blood and oxygen going
to to the places that you just contracted. Okay, so
we're gonna start at your feet and you're gonna make
a fist with your feet for five seconds and squeeze as.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Tight as you can. Ready and go for five.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Four three two one and release and woosh.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Just kind of feel.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Blood and oxygen going to the feet where you were
just contracting. Ultimate relaxation that follows that ultimate contraction, moving
up the kinetic chain to the ankles. You're going to
extend from the ankles, point those toes away from you,
so create length in your ankle, a straight line in
your ankle. Ready and go for five four three two
(24:41):
one and release and woosh. Just kind of feel blood
and oxygen moving to those ankles now staying at the
ankle joint. You're not gonna flex from the ankle. Bring
those toes back towards your knees, creating an ankle in
your ankle. Ready and go for five four three two
(25:02):
one and release and woosh. Just feel blood and oxygen
moving to those ankles, moving up.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
The kinetic chain to your ham strings.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
So you're gonna push your heels into the ground until
you feel the back of those legs or those ham
strings switch on.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Ready and go.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
For five four three two.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
One and release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Just kind of feel blood and oxygen moving to the
back of those legs coming up to the biggest muscles
in your body, your glutes, your butt muscles.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
So you're gonna tuck your pelvis under.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Squeeze that pelvis up and under and.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Squeeze your booty.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
Ready and go for five four three two.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
One and release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Just kind of feel blood and oxygen moving to the
glutes coming up like you're coming up for a crunch.
We're gonna turn on the abdominal wall, so come on
up like you're coming up for crunch. But stop when
you feel that abdominal wall switch on.
Speaker 5 (26:05):
Ready and go for five four three two.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
One and release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Just kind of feel blooded oxygen moving to the abdominal wall. Next,
we are going to open up the chest, so you're
going to bring your arms overhead anywhere in between a
Y and a T position wherever you feel the biggest
stretch in your chest, and we're just going to reach
back behind us. Open up from the chest, Squeeze those
(26:33):
shoulder blades back behind you, spreading the fingertips to just
open up that chest cavity. Ready and go for five
four three two one.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
And release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Just kind of feel blood and oxygen moving to the chest.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Shrugging your shoulders up towards your ears. Let's get all
of that tension out of your traps. So ready, in
go shrug it up for five four three two one
and release. Breathe it out and breathe it back and
keep coming back to the breath.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Beautiful job. Almost there.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
You are going to make a fist with your hands,
but leave your thumbs outside of the fist pack while
you squeeze all the muscles in your face, so face
and fists ready and go fur five four three two
one and release. Breathe it out and breathe it back
(27:34):
in beautiful job.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Almost there.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
You are going to squeeze every muscle in your body, hands, face, feet, fist, abs, glutes,
you name it.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
Ready and go for five four three.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Two one and release and woosh. Just kind of feel
blood and oxygen moving around the body.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Beautiful job.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Last, but not least, it is going to look a
little bit weird, but feel amazing. You're going to open
your eyes and your mouth as wide as you can,
eyes and mouth as white as you can. Ready and
go for five four three two one and release. Breathe
it out, breathe it back in beautiful job.
Speaker 7 (28:24):
Just kind of come back to your breath, come back
to the room, Notice how you feel in your head,
your heart, your body, your spirit, all of it
Speaker 1 (28:36):
And just take this with you as you go about
your day.
Cats up road man, little food for yourself life. Oh
it's pretty but hey, it's pretty beautiful man, beautiful for
that for.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
A little more exciting, said he.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You're kicking with full.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
With Amy Brown, Happy Thursday, four things, Amy here. And
I am part of a Mastermind group with some of
my girlfriends and I love it. We meet probably every
six weeks or so, and we rotate who leads it.
And I've got my friend Leanne Ellington on right now
because I asked her to come on and talk about
(00:53):
something that she led us through on our last Mastermind.
I feel like every time somebody leads, we have a
little nugget that we walk away with. But lean did
something different. It was very interactive, sort of experiential if
you've ever done that type of work. But it is
also very relaxing, which I needed. And this is kind
(01:15):
of coming at a time where this week my body
I know that I need to be super intentional about
resetting in a way. So Leanne, Hi, by the way, Hi,
I've got Leanne on zoom and I was sharing with
her that last Sunday was the ten year anniversary of
(01:38):
my mom's death.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
And you know, sometimes our minds and our bodies.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
They hold on to memories in such unexpected ways, like
there could be a familiar scent or a song that
comes on the radio, or a particular season will pull
us right back to a moment that we hadn't thought
of in a while. Now, obviously an actual anniversary on
the calendar that will bring about feelings, but I started
(02:04):
to notice, even just with fall weather, my body started
to take on some of what I felt that time
of year losing my mom, because it was smack dab
in the middle of fall, and there's so many indicators
of fall. The leaves are changing, the leaves are falling,
the temperatures are dropping, and for some of us, a
(02:27):
trauma trigger may come up just with one little tiny thought,
or it might be something like the changing of a
season like that. So it doesn't necessarily have to be
something like, oh, now it's fall, but the anniversary of
the loss of a loved one or something like that
can be very difficult, or sometimes it may not impact
(02:49):
you at all. It's really weird how our brains decide
what's going to impact us at what given moment, even
if it's been years, like our bodies will remember the
feelings vividly as I like, no time has passed it all.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
And when my mom passed away ten.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Years ago, it changed everything for me, and sometimes even
to day, my body feels like it did on that day. Now,
thankfully my behavior doesn't come back with it. But something
interesting that happened the day after my mom died ten
years ago is my eating disorder came back. And I
would say, you know, if I were to have had
(03:26):
an eating disorder chip leanne, sort of like someone may
have in recovery from alcohol or something, I had my
own little imaginary chip like it had been maybe twelve
years or something since I had purged in any way,
and it was sort of just like boom. The day
after my mom died, that behavior came back, and it
(03:50):
was almost out of body. It's not like I really
knew that's what I was doing, but it instantly became
a coping mechanism for me. Something my brain knew like, hey,
this is going to help numb you because this is
very painful and we don't like feeling this. And so
thankfully where I am now, my body can have a
(04:11):
lot of those same feelings that I was having that day.
But gosh, I just had such gratitude. I guess it
was on Monday, so Sunday was the anniversary, and then
Monday was my sister's birthday, so my sister had a
birthday day after my mom passed away. And I think
that that was also confusing too, because we had this
big party and there was all this food, and I
(04:32):
was like, what do I do? Anyway, it just kind
of led to that being my behavior of choice at
the time, and then it continued for five and a
half years after that, and then I got into recovery,
thank goodness. But my point of that is my body
still goes back to feeling certain things, but I now
have gratitude for the growth and how far I've come,
(04:55):
because it's not like that means that instantly I start
partaking and some of the behaviors. And for me, it
was that part of my eating disorder. For somebody else,
that could be taking a sip or doing another harmful
type behavior. Insert I'm sure we could sit here and
list off tons of things. So my point is, if
(05:17):
you ever have a trauma response in that way, just
know that you're not alone, you're not broken. Your brain
is doing what it thinks it needs to do. To
protect you from the pain. So have a lot of
compassion for yourself. But our bodies, our brains, they have
this way of revisiting the trauma as like it's protecting us.
And for me, learning to recognize this, this natural reaction
(05:40):
that my body is having has helped me handle the
moments and then again have that compassion for myself. And
so when a memory surfaces or a feeling comes up,
I try to ground myself in the present. I focus
on my breath, I remind myself where I am. I
even say out loud like I'm safe, I am here now,
I'm okay. And this gives me permission to revisit the
(06:02):
old feelings and even allow myself to grieve all over again.
If that's the case, I firmly believe the grieving never ends.
It's always there with us. It just feels a little
different depending on the day. Like Megan Divine, she talks
about the grief backpack, and you may be wearing your
backpack all the time, but sometimes your grief backpack is
(06:25):
just going to feel a little heavier than it did
any other day. So if you're going through a similar experience,
just know that you're not alone. There's no rule on
how we should feel. And sometimes I think one of
the bravest things you can do is just allow yourself
to feel whatever it is in that moment. Because if
(06:47):
you stuff it down, or you don't address it, or
you even say like, oh, I just don't really have
time for this right now, you're doing yourself a disservice.
So I wanted Leanne to come on and lead us
through something again. She did it for our mastermind several
weeks ago, and Leanne, I haven't stopped thinking about it.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And I was thinking, like this, this is just so good.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And I know that the holidays can bring up a
lot for people, so maybe it's not the pain of
you've lost someone, but just holidays in your family might
bring about a lot of discomfort. So this is a
tool that you can have to help you through this season.
And Leanne, I'll let you explain the exercise and what
(07:31):
you're gonna do. But the reason why I say you're
doing yourself a disservice if you don't acknowledge is because
when you start to stuff it down, then it just
gets worse and worse and worse, and you can maybe
think you've got to handle on it, like, I don't
really have time for this right now. You're good at compartmentalizing,
but eventually it will bubble over and you're gonna explode
in some way and it's gonna either impact you, or
(07:53):
maybe you end up yelling at your kids and you
don't want to, or treating your partner a way that
you don't want to, or having a meltdown at work
that you you don't necessarily want to have. When it
comes to your profession, although I have been known to
cry at work from time to time, I think it's
totally okay.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
But maybe your work is like not really into that.
So you just want to make sure you're taking care
of yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And on Sunday, I got out my journal and I
just pinned a paper and I kept flowing and tears
were rolling down my face. And I woke up early
that morning leanne like. It was probably five thirty on
a weekend morning, and I don't really wake up at
five thirty on the weekends, but it was still dark out,
(08:38):
and I had that same feeling of when I was
woken up that morning that my mom passed. I was
taking I call it a nap because we weren't really
sleeping that much because you never knew when was going
to be her time. So I was on my sister's
couch and I remember somebody nudging me. Can't remember who,
but they're like, wake up, wake up, it's time. There's
(08:59):
a pattern that starts to happen with our breath when
our final moments are approaching. So they knew, like, Curry,
get in there, you're going to want to be with her.
And I woke up and it was dark and I
sort of had that exact feeling, and it maybe it
was because it was ten years. I was just thinking
about it more. I'm not quite sure because some years
it really doesn't impact me. But I decided, look, I
(09:22):
think today could be hard. So I'm going to be
as proactive as possible, and I'm going to go downstairs.
I'm going to get out my journal. I'm going to cry,
I'm going to let it out. I'm going to go
for my walking meditation, I'm going to pray. I'm gonna
look up at the sky and talk to my mom.
And that may sound silly for some of you, but
for me, it was exactly what I needed and what
(09:44):
Leanne is going to walk us through I think might
be exactly what some of you need this time of year.
And you can even earmark where this is like when
she starts doing it, and you can come back and
do this exercise as many times as you need to.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
So if you have a specific thing that.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Pops up, or if you're just like ugh, I need
to need to get myself in a more regulated, peaceful,
parasympathetic nervous system type mood, because that's the energy Leanne
is about to drop on us.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
This is an exercise that will get you there.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
And so that's just my little backstory of why I
wanted to have Leanne come on and do this particular
exercise now because also selfishly, I want to have it
to reference as well, because Leanne now it's going to
be recorded for him and we'll have it here on
the podcast. But I wanted that on Saturday, Like I
remember thinking, or excuse me, on Sunday, I was thinking like, oh,
(10:43):
wish I had Lianne's exercise to add it, but I
had my other tools that I busted out. But this
will be something that people can use. So thank you
for taking the time to come on Leanne and do
this exercise with us.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, absolutely, well, thank you for sharing your heart and
sharing the behind the scenes of this, and you're absolutely correct.
We can have thoughts and memories and trauma stored in
our body and then just the go go go of
a heightened lifestyle can lead us to just be running
in that kind of sympathetic dominant state in our brain,
and a lot of us think we don't have time. Actually,
(11:16):
the biggest blockade was the reason that I created this
was because for myself, actually I didn't think I could meditate.
I was just one of those people that I was like,
I don't have the ability. I didn't think I could.
I didn't think it was a skill that I could acquire.
I tried and my monkey mind took over. But when
I met my logic and reason brain with oh, there's
a sympathetic branch of my nervous system and I can
(11:37):
actually just access that and kind of hack into it,
that's when it changed. And so literally what I'm going
to walk you through now is just three different access
points to access your parasympathetic nervous system. Even if you've
told yourself I can't meditate, even if you have a
monkey mind that goes one thousand miles a minute. Even
if you have a hard time relaxing. This is fool
proof because we are going to literally hijack your brain.
(11:59):
And so the three and said I'm going to introduce
you to. One is a concept that I call sensory breathing.
So we've all learned how to breathe, but a lot
of times we don't breathe properly. So what I'm going
to invite you to do is, every time you breathe in,
picture your belly expanding like a big balloon, which is
the opposite a lot of us. We breathe it in
and we suck our belly in. So I want you
to think about breathing and expanding your belly like a
(12:20):
big balloon, and every time you breathe out letting your
belly contract but breathing. What we're going to do is
we're going to again hijack the sensory system, not just
the respiratory system, but the sensory system, because your nervous
system can't tell the difference between a real and an
imagined experience. So when I invite you to breathe in
and picture it's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air. And
(12:40):
by the way, you can get some essential oils and
you can actually have peppermint, but you don't need to
actually have that in your mind to picture cool, crisp, blue,
pepperminty air, because your nervous system can perceive that experience.
And why I invite you to breathe out and then
I invite you to picture it's a red, hot, fiery
cinnamony air. And this is how we access and kind
of hack into your nervous system via the sensory system.
(13:04):
The taste, the color, the texture, the smell, all of
the things aligned with your breath. So that's one easy
access point to the parasympathetic nervous system that I'm going
to walk you through.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
The second access.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Point is through your cranial nerves. You have twelve in
total that are covering the entire surface area of your head,
your neck, your hairline, your jawline, your earlobes, the base
of your skull, so your entire cranium. There's twelve in
total nerves that are a direct access point also to
your parasympathetic nervous system. So just scratching, massaging, tapping, touching,
giving any stimulus to those areas the fascia of your
(13:38):
face included is going to again access one more notch
into that parasympathetic nervous system. And all of these can
be used independently or together. And then the third access
point to the parasympathetic nervous system. One of my favorite
things about this third access point is we're going to
use what's called isometric squeezes. And the cool thing about
isometrics is, let's say you're sedentary, let's say you have
(14:00):
chronic pain, let's say you're injured. Right, all of these
exercises are going to be safe to the nervous system because,
first of all, gravity is not involved. You're going to
be seated or laying down. And second of all, there's movement,
but there's no motion, so it's actually really safe to
the nervous system. And studies show that isometric squeezes can
actually down regulate pain because pain is a nervous system event,
(14:23):
and so it's actually been proven to down regulate pain.
So it's very common that my clients do these isometric
squeezes and their pain levels go down a few notches
on the pain scale just from doing these isometrics. So
I'm going to walk you through all three of those
right now.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Okay, so we'll do the exercise in just a minute.
But since I did mention what came up for me
ten years ago when my eating disorder returned, I do
want to use this as an opportunity before we get
into the exercise, because I want to disrupt that flow
to talk about Outweigh. Lean co hosts that with me.
(14:58):
It loads up on this Fourth Things feed every Saturday
and you can download and listen to it, or Outweigh
has its own feed. But Outweigh is a life without
disordered eating, outweys everything. That's the tagline. It started here
on four Things four years ago or so. It's just
a bonus series and now it's its own podcast, and
Lean's done a phenomenal job with it, and she came
(15:21):
up with a holiday series that we just recorded and
it'll be airing November sixteenth and then the following three
Saturdays to kind of get you through Thanksgiving and Christmas
when food and body stuff can really be magnified and heightened.
Speaking of triggers, I was talking about my trigger of
(15:45):
you know, my mom's death even just the other day,
and how I handled it, and again, I have so
much gratitude for the growth that I've had because I
had all my tools, and I have my tools because
of amazing people that have poured into me Lean being
one of them, and other experts and books that I've read,
and just repetition the journey that I have been on
(16:06):
to where that is my natural instinct of like, oh,
I know, I need to sit down and do XYZ
and I'm going to process through this. Whereas ten years
ago I didn't have these exact tools. My brain defaulted
to a habit I created as my teenage brain, something
that I started years before, and I honestly thought I
(16:29):
had left long behind me that one particular habit. Little
did I know, I mean, quote unquote I thought it
was in recovery, but there was all kinds of other
sneaky little things in there, like orthorexia, which I didn't
know was a thing, but my obsession with certain types
of food. So outweigh is just an option. If that
happens to be part of your story, or you would
(16:51):
like to know more, or you have a daughter or
a loved one that you think might be struggling in
that way, Outweigh can be a really good resource for
you and yeah, I guess With that said, Land, we'll
probably do a quick commercial break now just to get
that out of the way, and then when we return,
we will just go right into Lean's exercise and say
(17:14):
the peppermint I remember we're doing that during the Mastermind.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I was like, oh, I like this, and you really can.
You can sense it.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
You can.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
You don't have to have the smells.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Absolutely so when you breathe in, just picture it's a
cool crisp blue pepperminty air, and every time you breathe out,
it's a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And That's what I'll lead you through.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
But you can you can pretend that it is a
cool crisp, purple, you know, lavender air or a bright,
shindy yellow lemony air.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Like it really works.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You're literally just hijacking the nervous systm through the sensory system.
But I'll be walking you through the cool crisp, blue
pepperminty air and a red hot, fiery cinnamony air for
that part of it.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Awesome.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I cannot wait for y'all to do this so quick
commercials right now and then we come back. Be ready,
don't be driving okay, thiks all right, Lann, throwing it
(18:15):
over to you, But y'all make sure to say this
and reference it, and I promise you come back to it.
It's gonna feel so good again. You're not driving right
now when you're doing this. Save it for when you
get home or when you can really give yourself the
gift of this time.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
It does not take long.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
But give yourself this gift and then come back to
it as many times as you need it. Because when
you let our mastermind through it, Liam, I was like,
oh man, I wish I had this.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
It just felt so good.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Or like say you have a meeting coming up, or
you've got something going on where you just need to
kind of just be more relaxed and in that paarasympathetic
brain do this over and over and over.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
All.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Right, I'm just gonna let Leanne take it. We're gonna
let it roll and then that'll that'll be the end.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
But enjoy it. You deserve this time now, mistake.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Go ahead and find your breath, and every time you
breathe in, I want you to picture your belly expanding
like a big balloon. And every time you breathe out,
imagine the air releasing from that balloon and your belly contracting,
So breathe it in. Your belly's going to expand like
(19:31):
a big balloon, and every time you breathe out, your
belly is going to contract.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So keep that breath going.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
And now we're going to add the next layer of
your sensory system, so color, taste, texture, smell. Remember, your
nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real and
an imagined experience.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So every time.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
You breathe in, I eat a picture, it's a cool, crisp,
blue pepperminty air, and every time you breathe out, it's
a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
So breathe it in.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air, and every time
you breathe out, it's a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
And keep that breath going. Now, let's just slow it
down so you're gonna breathe it in for four counts.
(20:35):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air, and breathe it
out for four counts. It's a red hot, fiery cinnamony air.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
So breathe it in. Your belly will like span like
a big balloon.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air, and every time
you breathe out that belly will contract.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
It's a red hot, fiery cinnamon. So four in, four.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Out, and now we're gonna slow it down even further
by turning that into a box breath.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
So breathe it in for four, hold it for four,
breathe it out for four, and hold it for four.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
So let's go. Breathe it in for four.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
It's a cool, crisp, blue pepperminty air.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Hold it for four and then breathe it out for four.
It's a red hot, fiery cinnamon the air, and then
hold it for four. So in four, hold four out, four, hold.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Four, beautiful, and just finish up the box that you're on.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Great.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
So that is one access point to our parasympathetic nervous
system through your breath and your sensory system.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
The second access.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Point is going to be through your cranial nerves. So
you have twelve in total that cover the entire surface
area of your head, your face, your neck, your cranium,
your jawline, your earlobes, all of it. So you're just
going to take your hands and scratch, massage, tap, touch,
whatever feels good the entire surface area of your head,
(22:40):
your face, your neck, your hairline, all of it. So
just go ahead, take your hands.
Speaker 6 (22:46):
And relax those cranial nerves, keep breathing, and imagine blood
and oxygen and going to all of the places that
you are enervating.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Notice where you have.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Any tension or tightness, and just spend a little bit
of extra time there.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Beautiful, just take one last pass and then bring your
arms down by your side. Amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
So that is our second access point to the parasympathetic
nervous system, those cranial nerves. The third access point is
going to be through your muscle. So this is going
to be super safe to the nervous system.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Because there's movement, but there's no motion. It's isometric. So
you are going to hear.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Me guide you through isometric squeezing. So squeezing as tight
as you can for a certain body part for five seconds,
followed by ultimate relaxation and imagine blood and oxygen going
to to the places that you just contracted. Okay, so
we're gonna start at your feet and you're gonna make
a fist with your feet for five seconds and squeeze as.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Tight as you can. Ready and go for five.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Four three two one and release and woosh.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Just kind of feel.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Blood and oxygen going to the feet where you were
just contracting. Ultimate relaxation that follows that ultimate contraction, moving
up the kinetic chain to the ankles. You're going to
extend from the ankles, point those toes away from you,
so create length in your ankle, a straight line in
your ankle. Ready and go for five four three two
(24:41):
one and release and woosh. Just kind of feel blood
and oxygen moving to those ankles now staying at the
ankle joint. You're not gonna flex from the ankle. Bring
those toes back towards your knees, creating an ankle in
your ankle. Ready and go for five four three two
(25:02):
one and release and woosh. Just feel blood and oxygen
moving to those ankles, moving up.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
The kinetic chain to your ham strings.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
So you're gonna push your heels into the ground until
you feel the back of those legs or those ham
strings switch on.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Ready and go.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
For five four three two.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
One and release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Just kind of feel blood and oxygen moving to the
back of those legs coming up to the biggest muscles
in your body, your glutes, your butt muscles.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
So you're gonna tuck your pelvis under.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Squeeze that pelvis up and under and.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Squeeze your booty.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
Ready and go for five four three two.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
One and release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Just kind of feel blood and oxygen moving to the
glutes coming up like you're coming up for a crunch.
We're gonna turn on the abdominal wall, so come on
up like you're coming up for crunch. But stop when
you feel that abdominal wall switch on.
Speaker 5 (26:05):
Ready and go for five four three two.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
One and release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Just kind of feel blooded oxygen moving to the abdominal wall. Next,
we are going to open up the chest, so you're
going to bring your arms overhead anywhere in between a
Y and a T position wherever you feel the biggest
stretch in your chest, and we're just going to reach
back behind us. Open up from the chest, Squeeze those
(26:33):
shoulder blades back behind you, spreading the fingertips to just
open up that chest cavity. Ready and go for five
four three two one.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
And release and woosh.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Just kind of feel blood and oxygen moving to the chest.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Shrugging your shoulders up towards your ears. Let's get all
of that tension out of your traps. So ready, in
go shrug it up for five four three two one
and release. Breathe it out and breathe it back and
keep coming back to the breath.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Beautiful job. Almost there.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
You are going to make a fist with your hands,
but leave your thumbs outside of the fist pack while
you squeeze all the muscles in your face, so face
and fists ready and go fur five four three two
one and release. Breathe it out and breathe it back
(27:34):
in beautiful job.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Almost there.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
You are going to squeeze every muscle in your body, hands, face, feet, fist, abs, glutes,
you name it.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
Ready and go for five four three.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Two one and release and woosh. Just kind of feel
blood and oxygen moving around the body.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Beautiful job.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Last, but not least, it is going to look a
little bit weird, but feel amazing. You're going to open
your eyes and your mouth as wide as you can,
eyes and mouth as white as you can. Ready and
go for five four three two one and release. Breathe
it out, breathe it back in beautiful job.
Speaker 7 (28:24):
Just kind of come back to your breath, come back
to the room, Notice how you feel in your head,
your heart, your body, your spirit, all of it
Speaker 1 (28:36):
And just take this with you as you go about
your day.
4 Things with Amy Brown News
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Amy Brown
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