#652 - JAX on a Stranger Kissing Her Baby, Fighting AI & the Reality of Motherhood

Singer-songwriter and viral hitmaker JAX sits down with Bobby for a candid conversation about how much her life has changed since becoming a mom. She shares why she’s become more protective of her daughter online, an uncomfortable encounter with a stranger who kissed her baby, and the AI situation that has turned into a legal battle. JAX also opens up about her unforgettable childbirth experience, the realities of postpartum life, and how motherhood is shaping this next chapter of her music and career.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
And I just remember one waitress just like came up
and kissed her on the face, and she was so little.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
I was like, Okay, we're done.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Here, everybody today. My guest is Jack's. I'm a big fan,
been watching her content for years. At this point. You
may know her for songs like Victoria's Secret or like
My Father. I mean, she has built a huge audience
by being really good at music but mixing humor and
honesty just like superb songwriting. She started singing when she

(00:35):
was just five years old, and before TikTok turned her
into a global star, she was actually close to giving
up on music. She's also a new mom. She hosts
a podcast, Mike, what's the podcast called Badass Mother Friends?
There you go that? What is again? Mike, bad Ass
Mother Friends? That is correct, and she just released a
new song called an Airport Bathroom, which we will talk

(00:57):
about in just a few minutes. I am excited and
relieved this interview happened because I was a big fan before,
and I'm a bigger fan now because I record this
part after the interview. So she's fantastic. There's a lot
to talk about. Here's my conversation with Jacks Jack's good
to see you.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Hi, good to see you.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
So I was watching some of your podcast with Melissa Joanehart,
and that's when I realized that you must live in Nashville. Yes,
here we are, because I know she lives in Nashville. Yeah,
so how long have you been here?

Speaker 1 (01:31):
We've been here for a little over a year. We
came out here. Let's say we moved into our house
eight and a half months pregnant. You were nine months Pregnanty.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
You actually moved that pregnant?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yeah, very pregnant.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
So I wouldn't have known about that except my wife
be four months old, so I know.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Through Also, congratulations, thank you, But.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
I can't believe you've moved that pregnant.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
It was, you know, like it was because of the panic.
We were like in the fires in La while it
was happening.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
So is that why you moved out here?

Speaker 1 (02:06):
It was like one of a million reasons.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
But what do you think about it here.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Other than the humidity that's happening right now in this moment,
like I can't even go outside without melting, and the
random tornadoes and like inclement weather happening.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
So my wife moved here from Los Angeles. Cool, but
she had lived in Oklahoma's where she grew up, but
she went to LA to go to grad school and
she lived out there and came here. She said, it
rains here.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
All like so much, like we had a flash flood
two days ago and wiped out.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Our front yard out of nowhere too, like our gates.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Like everything's down, Like it wasn't even like.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Something we thought was a niche.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Do you live in a hole kind of RelA a
little bit.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
There's like a creek and then.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's kind of on a hill. So I'm like, yeah,
I don't know. We didn't anticipate the flood. I didn't
even realize until we purchased the house that they had
this massive flood situation and that most house houses here
you don't even get flood insurance with like because of it.
But they had a huge flood and back in twenty
twelve or something like that.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
So there were a couple. One that one was right
before I moved here and destroyed destroyed the city.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, yeah, it was like the flooded.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
Like everything flooded. Yeah, So I missed that one. But
were you here for the cold dice?

Speaker 1 (03:22):
We had no power for nine days. Why right, what
about you guys?

Speaker 3 (03:27):
We had no power and my wife was eight months pregnant,
so we had no power. But we end up we
moved into here.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Like the studio.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, oh well, I mean, hey, it.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Was the only place that had here it works, yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Mean basically we were always only in one We were
able to take the generator and heat up the nursery
and the master. We didn't like get one of those
fancy generators because we weren't prepared for it.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
We did not have a generator.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh, this was just running or this place.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
It never got hurt because the lines went down, but
our hose, which is you know down the road, we
didn't have. We don't have generator at all because we're stupid.
Same I am. My wife was stupid to my husband's.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
It's definitely not me either yet and so you guys
are so dumbed.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
We kept we kept hunting and no, we don't need it.
We don't want to pay for a generator. Who needs it,
you know what? And then we ended up buying one
a week before that happened, but we couldn't get it.
It took two months to get in. So we had
bought a whole home generator. That ice storm hit, we
didn't have anything, so we came and lived in the
podcast studio.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Well, I mean at least you had this, that's great
news that you have the podcast.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
We were very lucky. Scary heat, but the weather is
so weird and we have nighttime tornadoes.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah, it's so scary too with kids. And I can't
imagine having been pregnant because like with the new we
had I guess a four month old, so we it
would have been like what you have now, but like
pregnant was a whole other thing. Be souse.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
I remember experiencing our first tornado here.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
We just got here.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
We were like in an airbnb house hunting and like
a huge tornado, the sirens outside. I'm like, what in
the It's like twister and I'm like holding my belly
as hard as i could, freaking out, not knowing what
do I do, like hide under a door, a door
frame or a table or something like.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
And there are no basements really here, the ground doesn't
allow that. No. The weird part about because I'm not
from here either, So yeah, where are you from? I'm
from Arkansas?

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah, well not many of us get out, but I did.
I'm pretty pretty proud of that. But uh, we in
Nashville there's a ton of knocked It's more nocturnal tornadoes
than any other major city, meaning they hit when you're sleeping,
so you have to stay awake to make sure that
it doesn't hit you, which is so bizarre. And so
why is that? Yeah, I don't know, but the weather

(05:44):
here is all is so in same. But you do
like Nashville other than the weather, yeah, other than why
did you choose here?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
I was we didn't want to be in La anymore
with a baby, and it just felt like between the
energy and the lack of space and just like the
safety of it, I just wanted her to like run
around and have a yard. And yeah, I think I
wanted to be able to make music while I did that,
and because you could have a yard anywhere in the country.

(06:13):
But I still want to write. And I have been
to Nashville plenty, and I've always thought about it, say
with my husband, so here you are.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
You talk about the humidity, So you must have grown
up somewhere that did not have.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Actually it wasn't that I had pretty humid summers growing up.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
I was in New York, but summer's like this kind of.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Like I went to camp upstate, and I remember, even
if some are in the city, like you've ever been
in the subway in the heat, in humidity, it's like
soupy gross water. Not quite as humid as Nashville. But
my husband grew up in the West Coast, and he's like,
this is crazy.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Growing up in Arkansas, we had this.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
You had this just as human.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
I hate cold weather, Like how you talk about that
humidity is how I think about cold weather. Really just
hate it that I want nothing to I would leave
here in the winter.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Really no skiing.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
I've never been. I've never been skiing. Oh no, so
I call weather or not for me. But you had
your daughter here a second ago. Do you show her
on anything I did?

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, so I up until she turned one, we were
kind of like doing baby posts. And as the months
have gone by, I'm kind of easing up on that
'or really it's not so much like it's not so
much the it's more like the.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
AI situation, that's it.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
It took a big like realization for me because I'm
currently dealing with like a legal situation with the company
that just somehow was able to like replicate my voice
and is using a very well performing ad as me
singing a company called Rise like the Mushroom Coffee Company.

(07:52):
And but I'm also realizing it's like a ton of
other whatever company they hired to make that ad, a
ton of other companies. People keep sending me these AI
ads where I'm literally singing and it's just not me singing.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
Even to you, it sounds like you.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, I'm like I'm taking I'm like, whoa, it's me
and then it's not me. And all the comments are like,
oh my gosh, Jack is doing so many ads, and
I'm like, oh no, I'm not. But yeah, so I
think that kind of freaked us out. That spooked us,
and I yeah, obviously I hear a bunch of parents
talking about it every day, but yeah, what about you, Jeeve.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
We don't and I should say my wife said early on, hey,
let's not put our baby's face online, And at first
I thought, oh man, that sucks. I could really use
the likes. I mean, that's a.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Selfish part of me, like she's so cute.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Well, I waited a long time to have a baby
like this will really help my social media.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
I deserve this.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah, and so she was like it really really made
me feel comfortable. She's not super public anyway, she you know,
inherited this, you know what I do, and so occasionally,
you know, she'll show up or you know, being a
picture or something. But she said the same thing. She said,

(09:08):
don't only worry about people. I just don't want our
baby's face on some AI yeah something. And I at
first it was a little I was little disapointed by it,
but now I'm so thankful that she wanted that.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
And so is this, like, what's the point anyway, what's
the point? I saw this like random commercial that was
about this and the safety of AI and everything like that,
and I was like this parent that goes into a
grocery store or something, and everyone keeps stopping and being like.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Oh, hey, how's little Jessica.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
I heard you did great at the soccer game.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
I heard you Didn't's like the whole world just knows
everything that's going on in this kid's life. And I
was like shit. And then I actually did go to
a grocery store. I was like at the Kroger in
heires and a woman from behind me, I just hear.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Hi, Charlie.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
I was like, what the fuck, Like.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
There's somebody that is saying hi to my baby. And
I'm like, she goes, you look just like you do
on Instagram, And you look like you do on Instagram too,
Jack's so naturale.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
You guys are so cute, blah blah, and.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I'm like, this is crazy, Like someone just recognized my baby.
And then I was like, I think I need to
stop posting. It's probably time. Maybe the back of the head,
I'll just kidd.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
And that person was being very sweet and nice, but yeah,
and they it wasn't there. You're right, I know that's
all of.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
A sudden, all my motherly things. My heart just starts
pounding hill.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
My wife says too, like biologically there are things that
happen like defensive right that She's like, I don't even
know where this comes from, but I'm so defensive of
everything now.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Oh my gosh. And being in the South, I don't
know if you guys experienced the same thing, but like
people want to hold your baby, they want to kiss
your baby, they want to touch your baby, they want
to put socks on your baby, they want to.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Feed your baby.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
I'm like, girl the way.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
I almost the clause I was like when she was
a new born, and I was just like, get everyone,
get away from me, and get away from her. It
did not was so over stimulated when I went outside,
especially like thinking that people were like filming or anything
like that. And I just remember one waitress just like
came up and kissed her on the face and she
was so little. I'm like, this is I just we

(11:11):
all everyone at the table just froze and looked at
me like, oh shit, she's gonna like.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
I was like, okay, we're done here.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Like that's where I'm from the South, And I can't
believe a waitress would just come up and kiss a baby.
Would you ever kiss something baby? Never, especially especially now,
but even pre no baby.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Never would ever incline you to like go up to
a baby and put your mouth on.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Its face or to think you had the right to
do that.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
No, And then they get like kind of someone got
mad at my husband actually, because like my husband is
much less of a people pleaser than I am, so
he'll just be like, hey, can you not do that
like dead eye contact, And I'm like, yes, you're very
hot to me right now. But We're at like an
airport with the baby, and some woman was like, oh,
let me get in on that, Like let me come
see this baby. I want to pinch her cheeks and

(11:58):
I and you could see me. I'm like, oh, yeah,
here she is. And I'm like getting taller and tallerant.
This woman's now starting to jump to like reach the baby.
And my husband goes, excuse me, excuse me?

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Can we no touching?

Speaker 1 (12:11):
Please?

Speaker 2 (12:11):
You could say hi, but no touching.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
And because it's like flu season in the airport and
you have a newborn, and she she goes to like
fake kick my husband. She's like get out of here,
like okay, sure you're.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
One of those parents. And were like I'm like you're
mad at me for not letting you. That's a great
stranger touch my baby.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
We were a ball game and we had our baby
was like two months old, and my brother in law's
a softball coach, college softball coach, so we'red his game. Yeah,
and some woman came over and she was all billy
and she's like I just want to grab her and
run away and jump my car and drive out here
as fast as I possibly can. You be like, who
kidnapped your baby, and we're like, that's too elaborative story

(12:53):
to just say that.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
They said that person said that your wife. I'm like, yeah,
me too.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
We just kept running. The person walked up and said, oh,
that she's so cute. I just want to grab her
and then take her and run and get in my
car and drive away. And you never We're just like,
what your joke was extended a little too much.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
You did, It's not too late to take it, but
like you didn't have to say all that your daughter is.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
I don't only know how to compliment someone else's daughter,
but that is a beautiful way to do. Can take
her away in your car. But I never had a
real appreciation of like baby, you're do you have a
beautiful baby?

Speaker 2 (13:31):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (13:31):
And so do you.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
I feel the same way.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm like before people are like, you want to see
a picture of my kid, and I was like, oh, yeah, sure,
and you don't really want to see a picture again,
and I'm like, yeah, yeah, give me that kid to
see a.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Picture of that baby. And your baby is so beautiful.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
There's a but I feel like I'll just say that
this is what I tell all my friends because people
will say, oh, but because I'm not lying about yours.
I would just say nothing. I thought she was always
say nothing. She was so adorable that I thought, I
asked you before we started recording, like what does she
do now? Like, what's the thing that they do at can?
I say? Hell?

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (14:03):
I was like, what is the thing they do at
fourteen months old? Because I'm so just curious now because
I'm in it. Yeah, and yeah, she's awesome. Did you
have a bunch of hair when she was born? She
had like so much hair, was so she's already Oh,
that's what happened to my wife too.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
It's no joke.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
That was like the worst part of the whole experience, honestly.
But I don't know if your wife had a tough
pregnancy of it.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
So tough for a couple of reasons, but the heartburn
was it was such a big part of it for her.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, it's like crippling.

Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Yeah. And we can start to see her hair in
the sonogram.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, same yours.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
And they would go, there's so much hair. We don't
know the difference. We're like yeah, ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
And then it was born and the doctor said to us,
usually only ethnic different, non white babies have this much hair, the.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Long, blonde and flowing in the wind hair.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah, it's been wild. Yeah, we're at four months right now.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
She just turned for me, so congrat firts, well congratulations.
I mean, is there nothing like it in the world?
Aren't you freaking out?

Speaker 3 (15:06):
In many ways? And I thought I would have this
existential where it's I'm thinking about how life is made
and born and that's half me. But it's so constant
of just having to like be a every that I
don't have time to think about the existentental thoughts. I
thought I would have.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
No And then it's her first birthday and You're like,
I did I miss it all?

Speaker 2 (15:29):
You're like, I wasn't thinking.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
I wasn't there, Like I feel like I personally I was.
I missed so many moments from not being present, and
I was saying myself, be present, be present, And then
her first birthday comes along, and I'm like, are you
fucking kidding me?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
I just believe birthday?

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Sorry, can say what you want. I see the F
word on your.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
What's he first birthday?

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Like so depressing and so amazing, Like she was. She
loved her smash cake and I made her and she
made a huge mess and loved the balloons, and she
was so happy and all our friends were there and
it was great. And then I was just a wreck,
just crying.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
I cried.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
I held her through the night, basically in the rocking chair,
as the last time I'm going to hold her before
she turns one. Probably mothers, I think, might have a
different experience than fathers do. My husband was more like
just trying to help me organize the party and pick
up all the pieces of me being scatterbrain. And then
I think, yeah, eventually it was over, and we looked

(16:27):
at each other in bed and we're like, yeah, one
year old, Like it's official, We're entering toddlerhood like crazy.

Speaker 6 (16:34):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor,
and we're back on the Bobby Cast.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
I was talking to my wife last night as after
Billy had gone to bed, and my wife has been
very strict. There's a book that she read about sleep times. Okay,
I forget what it was worked out for us tremendously
because she sleeps eleven hours now through the night. Yeah,
and wow, I was in the first couple of months
like screw it, let her wake sleep. I know nothing right.

(17:09):
I'm just let's just let her live her life, give
her some autonomy. And Mom's like, we really want to
get her to worship structure.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
And so last night we were talking and my wife
had a picture of her, and I said, you know
what's funny is in the daytime because I go to
work and my wife will be home and she'll work
something from home, but she's always got the baby, I said.
In the daytime, we're so focused on just making sure
she's okay and she's fed and she's able to get
nat It's constant focus and we love her, but we

(17:41):
don't really get to appreciate her until she goes to
sleep yep, because then we're like looking at pictures and
talking about.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
It and feel like waiting to get her to bed
so bad because you're so tired.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
In the second she's in bed.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
She's like, yeah, was like, look at this picture, look
at this Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, it's been for me. The real growth of baby
has been she now knows who I am and ignowl
and just knows it your PREMI.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah, you walk in a room and she lights up.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Now, oh dad, And that just happened and forever I
was just supporting my wife.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
You know, that's like a real thing.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
There's like postpartum like issues and depression for dads that
people don't really talk about because it's like really challenging
to connect with this tiny human that just got here
and has no idea how to do anything, and all
they want is mom, and all they want is like
a boob or just like to the to touch mom.
And I remember around this time, maybe a little earlier

(18:37):
with my husband, like we got her to bed and
we were just up talking and we were both like
almost jealous of each other's roles, where I was like,
I'm so jealous of you, Like you're just literally the
class clown. Like my daughter just wants to look at
you and smile and laugh, and all she wants to
do is watch you do something funny. You literally just
have to move and she thinks it's hilarious, and your

(18:59):
job is just seems like she I for me. I
feel like she never she's just angry at me all
the time. I feel like she she's mad at me,
And my husband's like, oh my gosh, I'm jealous of
you because I feel like she doesn't even want to.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Like she's not attached to me in the way that
she's attached to you.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
I'm not feeling that intimacy like at all, because all
she wants is you, and she wants to breastfeed and
she wants to be held by you. And I'm like,
this is it is really crazy. And then ultimately you
guys were both here for different reasons.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
So I tell my wife constantly I'm JV, like she's
she's yeast and I'm JV. And I know my role.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
My therapist kind of got me ready for the early
part of it because I was nervous about having a
kid who isn't but I didn't have parents and so
I didn't really have models to see how to be
a parent, and so I would say, I don't rely
know like how this is going to work or if
I'm ever going to connect. I mean, because I had
no connection upwards, so I don't even know about the

(19:57):
capacity to have connection down. And he said, here's what
you should know. You may not connect for three, four
or five months and has nothing to do with what
the trauma you grew up with.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Right.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
He was like, as a dad, that being needs its mom,
and you were there for the mom to put no
pressure on yourself at all. And I'm so grateful that
you had that conversation with me, because I think I
would have put that pressure in the first couple of
months ago. Why is this this baby?

Speaker 1 (20:23):
You would have been internally thinking that it was something
wrong with you.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
I mean, that's also just something we all.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Go through in life. We're just panicking all the time
that we're projecting our own things.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
On the baby.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
And am I broken? Like I'm a parent now someone
else is We're responsible for this other human and I
am so scared to screw this up that like, but
that makes you a good dad, like I think it makes.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
Me a good debt hopefully is that I care that
I'm a good.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Dad exactly, that you care enough to even be thinking
about those things.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
And I read a book about parenting and I like
to read. I never thought i'd read books about parenting.
And I read a book about parenting and I'm like, man,
I'm kind of in this.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Oh my god. I took the Lamas class.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Did you guys do that?

Speaker 6 (21:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (21:04):
To give We did a class where someone came over
and taught us, and I'm my wife was so cool
about it because I know it wasn't about her taught us,
taught me how to do things, so we had she
taught how to change a diaper. She was like teaching
you had to with a doll. Oh nice. Yeah, So
before my wife was super pregnant and like she'd get
a doll out and she so other than one time,

(21:28):
for like one minute, I'd never even held a baby. Babies,
And I guess that's true. As a dude, you don't
run around, you know.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, I know I've heard I get it.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
No, like that, I totally get it. Like we did
at our Lama's class. And my husband, he always was joking.
He was like, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos
like I'm going to catch the baby when it comes out.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
I could do that.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
I get delivered it in the car. And I'm like,
we watched them also, like we watched some zombie apocalypse
or apocalyptic show where they gave birth and woods or something.
He's like, I got that.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
Yeah, if you keep birth in the car, I can
handle it.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
And then we did the lil Ma's class and she
basically kind of lubed up this fake baby like this
doll but like it's as heavy as a baby and
it's a realistic size, and we practiced catching the baby
out of this like mannequin and he goes, WHOA, it's
not gonna be like that slippery though, right like, and
the woman.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Was just like probably more slippery like, and he was.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Like, you know, maybe, like maybe not the first baby.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
I don't think I'm gonna catch it. I'm probably gonna
we'll probably just wait for the next one, like I
just want to I want to check it out first,
make sure.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Just I had a real respect and even admiration for
labor and delivery nurses after it happened. I had no
concept of even what they did before.

Speaker 4 (22:49):
Yeah, but we had such a good one that it
it made the experience, Yeah, because she was so great
and helpful, and my wife's doctor wasn't there right then
because my wife was going into labor and right and
so they had to call the doctor.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, you don't even really think about how that works
until it's happening, Like the doctor is not going to
be there the whole time.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
And she was our nurse was so awesome that I
just remember thinking, I'm never going to forget how important
this job was because she made it all positive. I
did it all. She also like she basically did it
all until the doctor. I mean, she was doing it
and then the doctor gets there and it's like all right, gloves,
all right, all right, and we got it. And so

(23:34):
when there's like I loosened the jar. How has a podcast?

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Wait, did you guys deliver at Saint Thomas?

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Same, So I know I know exactly what you're talking about.
Those women are peak like angels. They called them Saint
Thomas angels, right, is that thing?

Speaker 3 (23:51):
I don't know I had never called them. I wonder
if I called them. Thank you, thank you, You're amazing.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Same.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
I like told my husband, I'm like, you got to
get them, bring some dunkin nuts over or something like that,
and he brought some I don't know at some point
when I was in postpartum, brought some doughnuts over. And
of course it was like I wrote a card to
the whoever was my nurse, and she was like already
left for a new job, and I was so mean
to her. I like was so guilty. I was begging

(24:18):
for her forgiveness.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
By the end of it.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Oh, I'm sure you know now though that really wasn't
the case with you, right.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Oh, I don't know. It was mean, I was literally like,
get me that fucking needle.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
But I don't. But that's probably so common.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yeah, she handled it like a champ.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
I mean, it was probably was not new to her. Yeah. Also, yeah,
that gets you the needle. I labored.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I labored naturally for thirty six hours and the baby
was flipped. It was a back labor, so our spines
were rubbing up against and it's just yeah, but I
didn't know that at the time. And then eventually nothing
was progressing at all and it was actually regressing, like

(25:04):
I was like reverse dilating. And then they were like,
your only hope for like a that of like a
vaginal delivery is to can I say, I can't say
vaginal on Netflix?

Speaker 3 (25:14):
You can't.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, watching on Netflix seas day.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
I'm so interested in birth stories though, like because we
just went through it, Like I don't want you to
lose your place, So go ahead, dita, I'm saying it
with you.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
One two three, vaginal Yeah, yeah, no, I just it
was all going backwards, and so they were like, the
only way you're going to be able to deliver vaginally
is if you we give you this epidural and you rest,
taking nap and let things happen progress naturally whatever. And
so they gave me epidural. And when that happened, I

(25:51):
don't know. It was just because of being on my
feet and maybe not drinking or reading enough and all
the things. My blood pressure plummeted. And then her heart
basically stopped. It was like three beats permit or something like.
It was so so slow, like I just heard my
obi go ma'am hello baby, like baby, we think heart

(26:13):
stops some baby. So all of a sudden, team surgeons
blah blah blah, sign these papers. You might bleed out
on the table this and that. My husband's crying. They're
putting him in scrubs. We're praying. It's just like emergency
c section and during a tornado warning of course, so
there's like sirens outside. I'm like, what is this place?

Speaker 2 (26:33):
But yeah, it turned into that.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
So but it was amazing and beautiful, healthy baby, and
it is what it is.

Speaker 3 (26:40):
Whenever we were at the hospital, someone came in to
give the epidural and they're giving their speech like uh,
you die and you know and not many people do
just all of that, right, yeah, And then they said
and yeah, and I'm a trainee, and they just keep going.
And so training, yeah, because it's at a school, right,

(27:03):
they have these students, right, yeah. And so I'm not
a people pleaser.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
You're like, sorry, training and my wife is.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
And so I was like, hey, uh, nothing towards you,
but can we get a doctor?

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Nice?

Speaker 3 (27:18):
And for a second, I think man wife feel a
little awkward because she's just such a people pleaser. She
she would have taken someone to go, hey, I saw
a YouTube video and I'm here to do this. She'd
have been like, you know what, that's okay.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Aren't women amazing?

Speaker 1 (27:29):
We can just literally be giving actual birth to a
human and still be like, you know what, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
You guys feeling.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
And so I said, can we get a real doctor?
And so they flipped it and a real doctor came
in because that's I think that they were a residence,
so they're.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
A doctor smarter you. I'm sure she appreciated it.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
So I think now she does. But I think she
would have just someone's like I was called her ten
at the radio station, I'm going to do your injection here.
She'd just said, you know, I okay, I think I
think we're ready to go. So I was watching your
podcast with Melissa john Hart and like, what, Yes, who
have you had that's been cool? That that you left

(28:11):
liking more after you spent time with them.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
I mean, like I was, I'm such a geek for
everyone that's come in so far, I would say Melissa
john Hart, I mean, she was cracking me up. I
was like, I want to be you when I'm a
little bit older. And I love the way you're raising
your kids. You're awesome.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
I actually loved the podcast.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
It's not out yet, but I did one with Jana
Kramer and she had She's just brilliant and has some crazy,
amazing stories and we just unpacked a lot of trauma
trying to think.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
I Sean Johnson's amazing. I loved her more.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
I mean same, Seawan's awesome. Awesome to me too. Around
she is the coolest and you can like holder right here. Yeah,
she's she's the cool and yes, and she's also the
most hardcore ever at the same time.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
She's such a badass.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Her husband was up here yesterday because I worked for
the NFL and so he played the NFL for a
while and so we were doing a thing together too,
and he's also like the kindest guy ever. And Sean
came up and it was when her book was out.
And I've known Sean for a while because Sean and
I both did Dancing with the Star. She won it
way before I did, and.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
So crazy, but she did that.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
She was good. I was not good.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh no, you're great.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
No, no, no, I've seen clips. So regardless, I'm just she
won that. Obviously, she wanted to go on the medal.
She went on that show on Fox and won the
Military Show. Yeah, the Military Show. Like everything she does,
she's just like it's amazing. Yeah, So I agree with
you about Sean, Like I leave kind of inspired after

(29:54):
being around her.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
She's one of those you know, those people that you
just want to be in their presence so you could
like just be better like that is. She's one of
those girls you're like, she has seen she's been through
so much and it's not like written on her face,
you know, she's just like.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Emotionally her first.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Priority is being regulated for her kids. You could like
totally see it. She is just balanced ironically, because that's
yeah noble, Yeah, balance is always the goal over here.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
So are you still writing a lot of music here?

Speaker 1 (30:28):
So I took about a year off in postpartum because
just like I'm burning out and I'm tired.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
But then.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Right before her first birthday, a girlfriend of mine who
was also in postpartum, came from LA with her breast
pumps attached to her and she was like, we were like,
we should just write a little mommy diary album. And
so we were in the basement with pump parts everywhere
and a bottle of wine and our baby's crawling around,
and we just set up a mic and wrote and

(31:02):
recorded like eight songs and we'll be coming out soon,
I think within the next month or two. But we
released a song yesterday or the day before yesterday called
an Airport Bathroom, and that was like a really important
one for me to put out. And then, yeah, so
I think that'll be the bunch of mommy things I

(31:23):
was feeling. And then I want to get back to
just writing pop music and getting back into sessions and
or rights as they call it rights out here.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah here, it's right. Yeah, that airplane Bathroom? Is that
a song about a miscarriage?

Speaker 4 (31:36):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (31:38):
When you write a song like that, do you feel
like you have to write it with someone that you
feel like you can be extremely vulnerable with.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah, I so I wrote I started that one myself,
and then I brought Ali in to kind of like
help me fill in the pieces and be removed from it.
But yeah, she is a very close friend and I've
been friends with her for many years. So I don't
know if I would have been able to just do
that with anybody, but that one, that one, I couldn't

(32:08):
even I felt like I couldn't even write it with
myself like.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
I usually would.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
It would take anywhere from two hours to six hours
to start and complete a song, a pop song, or
even just even an emotional song for me, like maybe
half a day, but this one took weeks, and I
just kept giving up. I was like, it sucks, it sucks,
it sucks. It's not this is an inaccurate depiction of

(32:37):
what I was going through at all. And I remember
the reason I decided to write it was a girlfriend
of mine out here was going through a loss herself,
and I was now on the other side of it,
where I was kind of like the shoulder to lean on,
and we kind of just were sitting in silence, not
knowing the right words to say because I remember so
many things were said to me that just made go

(33:00):
a little crazier and sometimes I just needed to be
in silence. So I sat there with her and we
didn't say anything, and then I remember her being like,
the worst part is going to the bathroom. I was like,
I wish I know it sounds kind of graphic and oversharing,
but it wasn't it. I was like, I wish somebody
would have just spoken to me that way, because I

(33:22):
was so alone in the in the bathroom, like like
quite literally saying goodbye to the last piece of evidence
of the life that my husband and I made together
and our unique DNA that we made together. Saying goodbye
in a public bathroom disgusting stall. I like remember literally
just sobbing and clenching myself and just like apologizing and

(33:44):
saying I'm sorry that I am doing this, Like I
don't even know how women just go through this every
single day around me, and I don't even know what's happening.
And it was really nice to just kind of it
was like cathartic for the both of us to sit
there and just be real about it. And I was like,
all right, I think I need to write the song
that way. Like I needed to. I want, I want

(34:07):
to express every stage of grief where it's like I
was bargaining with the doctor. I was in denial, having
these realistic dreams and hope, and I was like googling
and tik TikTok, searching, thinking maybe I'm still pregnant, I'm
still pregnant, convincing yourself and then eventually accepting that you're not.

(34:27):
Then my husband ultimately, you know, putting, not letting himself
feel anything and not crying, and then finally when he
felt like I was a little bit healed and smiling
and laughing, he finally just let it all out. And
there was just so many And then I think it
really bothered me when people were like, don't worry, you're
gonna you're gonna get your rainbow baby. Don't worry, You're

(34:50):
gonna be fine. Your rainbow baby's coming. And I kept thinking, like,
why are we talking about my next baby when I'm
like still losing this baby, Like I don't even want
to think about the next way. I'm not ready to
let go of this baby. And it happened to us
twice and back to back right before Charlie, and I
just remember thinking like, nobody knows the right thing to

(35:10):
say when you're grieving. Some people said, some people were like,
are you pregnant? When you guys trying and it's all
happening and no one really knows what you're going through.
And it made me think, Wow, there's so many people
out there that are going through the same exact thing,
if not further along, people losing children. Yeah, and then
ultimately I had Charlie and I still think about that

(35:32):
loss a lot, and so as my husband. We talk
about it all the time, like, obviously everything happens for
a reason, and there would be no Charlie here today
if we didn't go through that, but that those two
little brief moments in time just hold like such a
place in my heart that I wanted to honor that.
And then ultimately having my rainbow baby and keeping hope.

(35:56):
So it's like all the feelings, it's not just hope.

Speaker 7 (35:59):
So the Bobby cast will be right back. This is
the Bobby Cast.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
As you have distance from the art, yeah, that you
struggled to create because you felt like you couldn't find
it until you did. How do you feel about it now?
I'm proud of it.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I'm really proud of it.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
I'm proud of it. It feels like a little tribute,
which is really nice, like a little because art is
its own little baby. It's like you come up with
something from thin air, and sometimes I think the more
painful it is, uncomfortable it is to write something like,
the more important it feels to you. So I'm really
proud of it. I definitely was so nervous to put

(36:50):
it out because I don't think it's a song for everyone.
I don't think it's necessarily an easy listen. But the
thousands of messages that I have just received from other
women who have gone through something similar or similar but
not you know, everybody has like people are like mine,
there's a gas station bathroom, or you know, some woman

(37:13):
was like I've had fourteen miscarriages and I'm like, oh
my gosh, like I'm trying to even do the math
in my head with how long that took for her
to get her rainbow baby. And then there are people
that are living in it, being like I'm currently having
a miscarriage and I don't know if there is hope
for my rainbow baby. So it's like this community of
women just all rallied together and felt each other's pain,

(37:34):
And I just think that's one of the cool There's
a lot of there's a lot of toxic things about
the Internet, and I think this is one of those
things that is a good thing about the Internet.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
So when I wrote my first book, there's some stories
in it that I felt like were extremely personal and
vulnerable about how I grew up and my mom got
pregnant fifteen, had me at sixteen, and she died from drugs.
But there were just some real personal experiences I wrote about,
and as I was writing them, it felt it was

(38:09):
weird to write because I just really hadn't expounded on
them as much as I was in like written word.
And then I started to once I put the stories in,
feel like people were going to feel bad for me,
and I didn't want that.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
I hate that feeling too, and.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
So I really wanted to share something that would give
a glimpse of what I've been through to get here
and maybe there'd be a couple people that would understand
and relate. Then I started to be weird, going, man,
I don't people to think I'm putting out this so
people feel bad for me. What happened was I put
it out and like I would tour doing stand up

(38:47):
and that would be what people would talk about that
they felt the most. What I was most worried about
that I felt like was too personal, that I felt
like people were gonna feel sorry for me for or
it was the exact opposite. There were so many people
that related understood and maybe it wasn't the exact same story,

(39:07):
but it was something so close that they felt that. Yep,
and I never really connected that.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
No, you don't like as a creative, the imposter syndrome
is so real and.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
You forget that people.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
It's really healing for people to see someone they already
looked up to having gone through something similar to what
they went through, or at least a pain on the
same level. Like it's really important that you're vulnerable. I
think that people don't want to just see the shiny, happy,
squeaky things, you.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
Know, when you're telling your story. That's I just felt
in a different way because our stories are different items.
It sucks, and we've learned and grown and hopefully helped people,
and people have helped us all these things. But I
remember feeling the same way, like I could never get
it right.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (39:58):
And then once it was right, it felt weird, and
then I commit all of that, and then I thought,
I don't think your guy's gonna get this. Maybe it'll
just be entertainment for some people. But it was so
many people going, I'm so glad you talked about that.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Thank you for putting this out. Yep.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
So that's really cool that you committed to that and
put it out.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, it was definitely there was a part of me
well a I every time I put something, I write
a song, I like let someone a family member or
my husband or a friend like listen to it on camera,
and that's what I end up posting as a lyric video.
And this one in particular, I was like, oh god,
I can't like this is my husband's actually losing it,

(40:38):
and like he was like, Babe, I want this video out,
Like I actually want other men to know the way
this affected me and this is like my authentic like
reaction to this song. But I definitely think also there's
a if you're the you're not the people pleaser that
I am, but it's like you get sowing your head

(41:01):
and the imposter syndrome, so really start to really think
about what everybody else is thinking. And then that's when
the art really suffers, like instead of just being true
to yourself.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
Yeah, if you're considering everybody else for your art, because
I've struggled with this too, then that's not really your art.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
No, it's their art.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
Isn't there it's there are and if you keep making
their art, you're gonna end up where they are. And
so uh yeah, the song, the songs, I've listened to it. Obviously,
it's really powerful. And although I don't relate on an
intimate level, like I relate on the sharing and experience
that people gained from because of your vulnerability. So I
think that's really great.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
I was definitely My husband was like, you got to
get the hell out of your head. I was like
super stressed about yeah, but I I'm really glad it's
out there.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Can I tell you a cool story about you?

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (41:49):
So please?

Speaker 2 (41:51):
This is what my therapist does.

Speaker 5 (41:54):
I'm like, oh no, so I've met you before. Yeah,
but it was never under anything other than I was
just a random person that came up to you in
a random place and said that I was a fan
and you were so nice.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Wait really yeah?

Speaker 3 (42:11):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, shit, I didn't remember. No, No,
you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to because it
wasn't anything of like, hey I talking a microphone or
I tell jokes. It literally wasn't. I saw you somewhere
in Las Vegas. Oh God, and I and it's Vegas.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Of course, I'm probably like secretly drunk.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
No, it was time I saw you in the hotel.
And I'm a big believer of And I tell people
that will watch or listen to what I say. They're like,
what do I do if I see some a celebrity,
I said, tell them you enjoy their work. Nobody doesn't
want to hear them. I said, if they're with their
kid or eating, don't bother them. Other than that, like,
if people are creating art, they want to be told
that you enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
Yeah, I always appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
So I saw you and you were walking by and
I was near and I said, hey, Jack, Bobby, I'm
a big fan, and you were so nice and you
were like, thanks so much, and you'd like ask a
couple of questions. And I also, I'm like an adult man.
I had stopped you, and I was like, I don't
want this to be weird. I didn't want to be
like a no because there was just so many you
could and then that was it. You were so cool.

(43:09):
That was it. And I just remember stopping because I
I just thought what you were doing online was so great.
I was just such a fan of like your content.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
And you were so nice to me, a random dude
that stopped you from walking through like the lobby of
a casino.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
And of course it was the casino you were.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
I think you were staying there. I don't think you were.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, no, you're probably right.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
You're not playing craps and I'm coming out to you,
I mean getting you were very nice, Thank you, And
I thought that was super cool.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Yay, I'm glad that.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
I'm glad that I didn't have like the worst morning
breath in the world and or something.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
I didn't get that close. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Wasn't
close enough.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
You didn't try to kiss my baby, and that's good.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
When you started putting content on TikTok, was it musical
at first?

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah, I tried a bunch of different things.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
I mean, it's actually really strange because you mentioned stand up,
but I dabbled through twenty twenty, I was I felt
kind of old for TikTok actually, like it was millennial,
and I feel like jen Z was really running it,
and I was just enjoying it as a consumer like
everybody else, just bored in a house in a house
board And I started posting like covers and then occasional

(44:22):
like super serious, just try too hard, care too much,
but people think content. And then one day I was
in my very shitty apartment with my husband and I
was like, it would be a good idea. What if
I did Stacy's Mom from Stacy's mom's point of view,
like in the Mom's just like Stacy Wise's boyfriend being

(44:44):
so weird, like he's like stalking me. He's like smelling money,
sniff in my underwear, like, and I'm like, I'm gonna
do it. Like even then when I first played it,
I was doing it super serious and then I'm like, no,
I'm going to do it like a Long Island mom.
And then I put it out there in my robe
and everything and nothing.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
It was like crickets, Oh really, And I was like shit, like.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
All my friends are seeing this, all these like I'm
dressing up.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
I look like I'm in COVID psychosis, so I'm like whatever,
I just go to bed, I wake up to pee,
and I get a notification and I click it and
it's like millions of people overnight in my sleep, And
within like two weeks we were at like a million
followers on I just kind of started every day posting
the same thing I did, like a part two, and
then I just said, hey, like this actually is fun
as a writer and a creative to make comedy out

(45:33):
of perspectives and songs. So I just started, you know,
doing like chandelier from the housekeeper's perspective, or like driver's
license from the guy behind her his perspective. Like there's
just like stupid things like that. But my husband and
I were having a blast filming these things, and it
was just fun to write comedy and not even realizing
I was stepping into the comedy space. Like late many

(45:57):
years later, we went to the comedy store on Valentine's
Day as a tradition, and I remember like being in
the audience and one of the comedians were doing stand
up and they're like, oh, Jax, we love you here.
We've been waiting for you to come in. I'm like
what do you mean like me as a singer, like like, no,
you as a comedian, I'm like comedian.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
I'm like girl.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
No, maybe maybe in short form, but not in real life.
But it's cool to be like respective by other comedians
for that little season of my life that eventually transferred
over to original music.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
But when you would have the girl that you used
to babysit, yeah, was that real?

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (46:39):
I legit.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
I was babysitting her for grocery money, and I remember
the first time I babysat Chelsea. She punked me so hard,
Like remember that game memory where it's like where the
cards are on the table and you have to remember.
I remember, we just kind of sat there the first
time I babysat her, and she was like nailing it,

(47:03):
and I was like, I remember thinking to her parents
not realize she's like a genius, genius, Like I have
to like talk to them after when they get back,
because she has literally remembered everything, like not made a
single mistake. And then by the end of the game,
like an hour goes by and I realize she's taking
photos with her iPad underneath a glass table of the cars,

(47:23):
which is like another type of genius by the way,
like arguably like a more important type of genius than
actual memory. But she was just always like a trip
and she is now just a complete teenager and a
woman and she's like traveling the world and I love her.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
And that was real though, Yeah, that was real. Did
you ever feel like you were getting kind of type
cast to only be funny?

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Yeah, yeah, and a babysitter. Like a lot of times
people would just come up to me and be like,
are you the babysitter? I'm like, actually, I feel like
it's just cool because it was that opportunity of like
having viral songs brought me to different places, so I
never made me upset, but I do think, like, yeah,

(48:07):
it was harder to write serious songs. I think when
people expected funny music, it was hard to transition from
anything like as you know, if you're writing one wave
and something's working, you're kind of like, all right, well
it's working. Got to keep going. And then it's always
a risk to say I'm going to switch things up
and now start to lean into what I really want

(48:29):
to do and how do I bridge the gap? And
I think it was like putting out original songs and
maybe have like a hint of humor.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
You know, it's hard to get people to change what
they think you are. Yeah, exactly, because forever, you know,
I'd done a successful radio show, but then I was
doing stand up or writing books or whatever it was
I was doing. I was on you doing television shows, yeah,
and I like it would hurt my feelings whenever they
would go and radio host and I'm like, I've had

(49:02):
two television shows that weren't just mine. I've written author
three books, yeah, and so but I just couldn't change that.
And finally I got to the point where it was
I'm just glad people know my name right right, just
I'm thankful that I was in it.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
It really doesn't.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Yeah, I'm just so happy that people know my name,
if they even know my name, and then they don't
call me Billy Bones or Bobby Jones like like all
of that happens. But yeah, I struggle with that a bit,
where it's like I would like to be known for
something other than what I was just known for it
first totally. Yeah, did you go into meetings with like
a label execs and say I'm doing this original I

(49:42):
wanna do straightforward, serious music and they're like, no, we
need more of what you've been doing because the data shows.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
To be honest, I was more of the data girl,
where I was like, we need to do this, this
is working. This is what we need to be going
to radio with because here's the analytics and people are
connecting with this, and if we don't, then we're going
to miss the mark. And I think that our timing
I will say in like the most pc way here

(50:09):
that our timing just never aligned me and the label.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
We just were never like it was just really hard
to TikTok.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
I think was a hard transition for the record industry
in general, where like the taste makers were kids in
their living room, and even something like Victoria's Secret, like
I was told that when I wrote the song it
wasn't my strongest work, and then when I just said, okay,
screw it, they're not going to really care about this anyway,
I might as well just put it out as a

(50:39):
piece of content, and like we might as well, just
like I want Chelsea to hear it, like this is
gonna I'm not gonna waste it. And then the Internet
essentially decided for us that this was a song that
was important so and then the label was like okay, okay, fine,
like but yeah, it's a little bit of catch up game,

(51:00):
I think.

Speaker 3 (51:01):
And also, nobody really knows no, no one ever does.
Everybody that I hear talking about they know for sure.
I know, I know they know they know nothing. Because
the people that really have a good idea know they
have no idea. Right, Those are the smartest people that
I found inside any sort of creative industry. It's the
people who go, I can't tell you for sure. Yeah,

(51:22):
but looking back, this has worked, but I can't predict.
But let's do this to see if we can find it. Like,
those are always the smartest people, the ones that don't
know but know they don't know. Self aware. Yeah, yeah,
I think those are the best people to like have
on your team or around you.

Speaker 6 (51:39):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
And we're back on the Bobby Cast. Does your husband
give you feedback on your art?

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah, all the time. He's actually so brilliant in being
constructive where you know, like, I'm sensitive and I'm hard
on myself and he knows it. So when he's he's
never given me any kind of like criticism that made
me want to retreat. It's always been like so constructive
and so helpful and so inspiring. Like it's almost like
we're shooting ideas back and forth instead of me feeling

(52:18):
like an idiot, you know, because I feel like I
was in music from such a young age and writing
songs and getting you know, signed, dropped, rejected, just played,
you know, like led On told that, you know, I'm
things I wrote were too written or too thought out

(52:39):
and it needed to be dumber and simpler, and like
like you're saying, like the next thing, like whatever's popping? Now?
Think about this song. It only has four words in
the chorus, and I'm like, no, I love words, you know.
So my husband's always been the person too. Really.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
He really embraces.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
The quirks about the way I write and wants to
encourage me keep writing like me. But he'll always take
like a six to a ten for me. Like I
remember we did like a TikTok where it was when
the Patriot No, what's the team that Tom Brady played

(53:18):
for after the Buccaneers? Yeah, I think yeah it was
the seventh It would have been his seventh ring, And
I was like, oh, seven rings, seven rings by Ariana Grande.
I know that song, but I don't know anything about football.
And I'm like writing this, this stupid TikTok about in
seven Rings from Tom Brady's perspective, and I'm like, babe,
I need your help. And I was like, give me

(53:40):
something about Tom Brady. I'm like, give me something. He's
like giving me stats. I'm like, no, I don't know
what to do with that, Like I can't and he
was like, there's like a like a viral clip where
he like kisses his son. I'm like, what, oh, okay,
I can work with that. So I have him like
dress up as the sun and were like like, it's
just stupid, stupid boy boy humor that. But he took

(54:04):
that was one of the funniest, like stupidest tiktoks, and
he took it from like a A three to ten.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
I think, and you trust his judgment always.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
I found that with my wife because I never really
had that, and it made me uncomfortable at the first
of my wife would tell me something because I never
had that. I didn't want. I didn't want somebody tell
me it was good or bad. I am.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
I get that.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
Don't don't tell me you love it, because I'm gonna go,
you really don't. It's really not that good. And if
you tell me you hate it, I'm gonna be like, well,
I hate you. So just yeah, just let me live
in it. And now I remember I was coming back
from the the Opry and I did a set at
the Opry and she went with me, and she was
coming back and we're driving and she said, you know

(54:44):
that joke you told about the tree or whatever it was,
and so yeah, she goes, You're you're way better than that. Whoa,
And like, my guts got angry for a second. You
just start because I'm thinking, I dare you? You know
I'm that I'm and I it's subside for a second,

(55:05):
and I said, what do you mean? She said, that's
lack of a better pun, That low hanging fruit punchlines
too easy. You're way better than that. And it was
that moment that I realized that she had my best
interest in mine and she was the only person I
was willing to be uncomfortable in that situation for it.
And then I was still kind of a little bit hurt,

(55:29):
but in a good way because now she gets with
me all the time. But I said, then how would
you repair the joke? And she said, well, this is
what I would say, and it was so much better
Like she wrote the joke. She wrote the joke better
than me.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Probably in your mind too, Okay, she knew you so
well that she was like, this is how, this is
how you would nail it.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
It was just maybe, but it was just better. And
then I I think she might be better than me.
And what I ges that was it the record that
you're putting out? You said you called it your mommy's songs? Yeah, like,
what's what's the tone with those?

Speaker 1 (56:05):
They're kind of silly. It's like half silly, half sad,
half lullabiash. It's like pretty much all like a just
a melting pot of all the things I've felt and postpartum.
And same with the girl I wrote it with Ali,
So we're like One of them is called we Are
So Back, and it's like we are so back bitches,
and it's like once I'm not depressed, I'm back in business.

(56:27):
And it's like just you know, once they once laser
away blocks the whole day out for me, and I
dropped the baby way and I'm not scared to go
outside and get a nanny for the baby, and once
I get ten thousand steps in and my hair stops
falling out, and we're still back bitches, like, and it's
just like kind of sarcastic about all the things that
most women experience in different ways in postpartum. And there's

(56:51):
like a song about called that One Mom Friend. That's
about the girl you can call at four am and
FaceTime and there's no judgment and you just that one
mom friend and Trader Joe's wine is the reason I survived,
you know. And then there's one like called The Death
of Her Old Self, where it's just about becoming a mom,
becoming a parent, and just grieving that person before.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Yeah, yeah, that's a real thing. Do you feel it,
my wife?

Speaker 2 (57:18):
Does You don't feel it at all?

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Like, as a guy, I don't know that I feel
mourning of my I feel like my wife has gone
through so much more that I think I have a
guilt with me mourning anything, because she's been through so
much more than I have, So maybe I will at
some point. My wife got she was so she has

(57:41):
a really really bad autoimmune disease, and then in the
first four months of her pregnancy, she couldn't get up
and so everything's great and what's fun. My wife is
so strong. What she says now is during pregnancy, she
thought nothing can be worth this. Now that we have
our baby, she's like, I do a thousand, Yeah, let's
do it again, like she and so because of what

(58:04):
she went through and what she has been doing since
the baby, I don't know that I've given myself space
or thought to do that because I don't feel like
I deserve it yet.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
Oh my gosh, that is such an interesting way to
put it, because like that, you're probably you and a
million other dabts. I feel like my husband's probably going
through the same exact thing where it's always like he's
afraid to say I'm tired because he knows I'm more tired, right.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
Like that's what I say to my wife, like like
I'm exhausted. But if I say that, I go but
not like you, just like.

Speaker 7 (58:36):
You like you?

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Yeah, and I mean that And I know you guys,
that makes you an amazing husband, by the way, because
not everyone has that self awareness. And I think that's
what drives women even crazier in postpartum and makes them
feel even more isolated, is not being seen by your partner,
and you're if you could see that, you know, even
at you're most tired, you're not quite as tired as

(58:58):
as mommy, then you're a step ahead of the game
in my opinion.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
But I mean, there was some real understanding that I
had to learn through the postpartum stages. And she's still
in it. Well, baby's only four months old, but she
would get emotional because she loved the baby so much,
but then she would also be emotional that she missed
the baby but the baby was there, yeah, or the

(59:25):
baby would be sleeping and I would just have to
understand I didn't understand, yeah, And that was something that
I had to learn that I don't have to understand
everything to be supportive, right.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
To that is support That was just that.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
Was that was odd for me to not be able
to fix it, one because I want to fix things
as men do. And then two, I want to be supportive.
But how do I be supportive if I don't understand,
because I'm never going to understand right. So I just
kind of wrestled with that for a while. But I
think that process has hopefully made me better because i'd

(01:00:00):
I don't know, I'm Socrates like I know nothing, but
I think the fact that I know nothing hopefully makes
me better smart.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Oh my gosh, are you kidding? The fact that you're
even saying these words is like it feels validating to me.
I'm sure your wife knows it, but it's like there's
there are absolutely things that men are never going to
understand in that dynamic, like even the what yesterday, I
was so mad at my husband because I woke, I

(01:00:28):
couldn't sleep, and I just decided at four am, I
was just going to take a shower and just try
to steam out the shower and get relaxed and go
to bed. I was like, surely I can go take
a shower for ten minutes and if the baby cries,
he'll handle it. And he's the baby immediately started crying it.
I didn't hear it, and I was in the shower
and he literally slept through the whole thing. I'm like,

(01:00:51):
how the baby could literally breathe from two doors down
and I was never like a deep or light sleeper.
I don't think anything, but something new happens in the
I think it's the I don't know if i'm saying
this right, but the amygdala or something. Yeah, where like
it's always now on just overdrive. So moms can quite

(01:01:13):
literally they have this new superpower where they can they're
so hyper vigilant, they can.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
Hear anything and everything.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
They could sense weird energies like well like we were
talking about earlier, but it's like you could sense you
want to pounce all the time, and you're just mama
bearing and he could literally sleep through anything. But I
did read that men and women have a different amygdala
thing happening where men can hear a door open, like protective,

(01:01:41):
they can hear a door, the front door open, but
they can't hear the baby crying next to them, you know,
but a woman will like shoot up and get up
for a baby.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
So the biology is so interesting, it is.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
That's That's what I'm saying, is like there's stuff that
as long as you're self aware, like you're doing such
a good job as a dad, Like, it's really hard
for women, uh to understand the new body they're they're in.

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
So whenever we have people come in that do music
that I appreciate and and I'm a fan of, we
ask him to bring in something that they are a
fan of, and so you have I don't know what
record you have with you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
I have The Great Divide.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
We pick it up for those that are watching. All right,
so what do you have there?

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
The Great Divide?

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Noakn okay, I uh, front of the camera here just
everybody can see it. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
I love this album so much. I'm obsessed. I'm like,
I think, I like. At first, I didn't really understand it.
I wasn't a.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
Super fan of Noak. I didn't know about Noa Khan.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
And then I heard Dashboard and at first made me angry.
And then I realized most of these songs he's singing
from people's perspectives in his life, which is a completely
immersive experience. And as an eldest daughter, I think this
album he's not obviously an eldest daughter, but I think
it's very eldest daughter.

Speaker 3 (01:02:59):
Coded there is there a song orbit, Uh, yeah, that's it.
My wife loves that song because it's like about a mother,
like his respect for his in love for his mom
and like she sings that song, and what she said
to me was my goal is that our child hopefully

(01:03:22):
feels this way about me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
I mean, yeah, I think I think your child already does.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
I don't know about right now. A lot of pooping
and bottling and booby you know all that. But uh
but that yeah, yeah, I mean it's brilliant. I like,
have you met him at all?

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
No, I didn't know anything. Actually even have a ladybug tattoo,
and I didn't know that was no calm thing.

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
What do you mean there's like but I mean, but
you didn't get that because of him? No, Okay, there's
just a quinch.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Just written in the stars that this is my all
time favorite right now, I'm like actually obsessing over him,
Like this album just blew my mind.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
He lives here, he does.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Oh no, no, I'm gonna have to go post up outside.

Speaker 3 (01:04:05):
Of his and if you see him in a Vegas lobby,
just say hi and he'll be so nice. And then
later and like some sort of professional be like noa con,
you were so nice to me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
Oh my god, I'm sure he would be too, like
I was.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
I just now that I'm on Noah Khan stand talk,
Like all I see is videos of him being hilarious
and adorable, Like, oh, I'm just so obsessed with this record.

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
A lot of my friends play golf with him here
really say, he's the nicest guy, No, I don't learn golf. Uh,
plug your party. Well, you talked about your podcast, but
plug your podcast. Will plug it because I did it
at the very beginning. But what's it called.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
It's called Badass Mother Friends. It's v A m F,
which is like very millennial, I think, but it's all
the moms I know that I look up to and
that are absolutely crushing it, and I just want to
hear their stories. So anyone that's been kind enough to
join me in my basement, thank you and check it out.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
I think it's I think it's okay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
I you've been podcasting longer than I have, so I
don't know how how to necessarily host a podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
I find myself.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
You hosted a third of this one. It's been great.

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
What are you talking naturally out of here?

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
You're so curious, you're asking me questions. It makes the
whole thing easier. I guess that I've watched I don't
want to say all of them, like significant amount of
clips of them. Yeah, and it's great. It feels very warm. Yeah,
like that's it, and yeah, congratulations, And I hope Nashville
Weather's nicer to you, but it's not going to be.

(01:05:38):
I can say that it's not. I've unteered now twelve years.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
You're just saying that for positivity, for toxic positive.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Great. It's a great city. But the weather, it's it sucks.

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
Give me some like I need some restaurant recommendations.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
I used to have a million until my wife got pregnant.
We used to go and that was our thing. We
stopped We went down into wait why what what?

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
Why did you stop going because she got pregnant.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
Well, she got pregnant, she got so sick we couldn't
go anywhere. And then we had a baby, and then
we didn't go anywhere. You're going now, we're just now
just now venturing out. They call it, we call it
who But what is that called? Yeah? Wedgwood, Houston, Wedgewood.
So it's close to here, and there's like soccer stadiums
down there. But we hadn't been down there forever, and

(01:06:23):
we went down a couple of weeks ago because she
had a friend in town. They have so many great
restaurants and they all just like popped up. So and
that's pretty close. This a place called like it's it's
a New York place. So it's called Pat Patsti's or
past pasty PASTI I don't know. We went there and
it was good. Other than that, google all the traditional places.
But we're not cool anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
It's hard. No, it's hard out here. That's like the
one thing I'm struggling with.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
This food.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
Everything is like really friedere Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:51):
Yeah, welcome. Where do they kiss your babies and survey
fried food? That's exactly welcome. I'm a big I'm a
big fan. Seriously, I'm a big fan being super cool
for me, you're as awesome as I hope. We were
debating how awesome you'd be before we came in.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
You guys well, because we said it would be not awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
Nobody. I asked, I said, do you think she's do
you think she's going to be cool? I'm a fan,
and I'm often worried about that. You meet somebody and
then then they're do you know, maybe they're just having
a bad day. It's not even that they're not that cool.
And I said, what do you think? And he goes,
I think she's going to be cool, and.

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
So well, for if it makes you feel better.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
I honestly didn't like I was having a bad day
because the baby just didn't sleep, and I was like,
as a girl, I haven't been out much since having
a baby. Because I don't know how to explain this,
but I kind of feel like a shell of myself
and everybody. I thought maybe i'd bounce back, and I'm
a year into this and I still don't feel like myself,
and I don't know if it's ever going to come
back and doing work and music things that require a

(01:07:50):
lot of my brain and talking. It's kind of why
I started the podcast, because I'm kind of pushing myself
to get back into it. But I was really nervous
by actually coming today. So I am really happy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
That this wasn't nerve wrecking at all.

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
And I'm happy that we're both new parents, and uh,
you are just as awesome as you're making me sound.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
So thank you for each other.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
And you let me have like a full coughing attack,
and you promised me you're going.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
To saw that no one even knew about.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
It till you should actually post it. Just me zoomed in.

Speaker 3 (01:08:20):
A slow motion just and then yeah, great.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
And now your wife's gonna be like great, Now I'm
gonna get a baby sick, and I'm like, oh God, anyway,
shout out to your wife and shout out to a
little Billy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
Thank you. Great to see you too, you guys, check
out our podcast, and then the music will be out soon.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
Yes, I believe the album will be called a Diary
of a Newborn Mother.

Speaker 3 (01:08:40):
So in what month do we think it's coming out?

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
I say it's in the next two months.

Speaker 3 (01:08:44):
Okay, yeah, Jack's great to see you too, Bobby, Ma,
thanks for listening to a Bobby Cast production