6 People Who Quietly Drain Your Energy, Over-Apologizing & Semen Jewelry (Yes, Really)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh good, all right, break it down. If you ever
have feelings that you just won.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Home Amy and Cat got your cob and locking them brother,
ladies and polls.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Do you just follow an the spirit where it's all
the front real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the swaying.
Sometimes the best.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Thing you can do it just to feel things.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday.
Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy, and I'm and I've
got okay, I don't know what that was, and you're.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Just playing around with interest.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
I don't know, okay, just Amy. I am feeling curious, okay,
and that has to do with something else that's going
on in my house with my furniture. But before we
started recording, Kat was going to diagnose me with some
sort of disorder because I was feeling a little scattered
about my furniture at my house, playing musical chairs, moving

(01:05):
some stuff around like one room, not feeling complete. So
then i'll, you know, Rob Peter to pay Paul, and
then Peter's like, ah, I'm missing a chair. So I
feel a little scattered. But now I'm curious as to
what you're trying to diagnose me with.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Well, Okay, I wasn't. I don't know that I'm really
trying to diagnose you. I just was kind of joking
and I was like, what's the disorder where you can't
just relax in your house and have it be done?
Because I'm not even making this up. I told you
this yesterday. Could have actually been this morning, but I
think it was yesterday. I was talking to Patrick because

(01:44):
we're doing a room in our house, the nursery, and
it's making me put pause on all these other projects.
And I was talking to Patrick about like how I
want our house to look, and I was like, well,
Amy's house just is perfect.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Well like it looks perfect, not accurate, but thank you.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
And it's all like it all goes in my this
is my opinion, okay, which I don't sit here and
look at everything every day, but like everything flows and goes, and.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
But like it doesn't go because I don't want matching matching, right.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
You're right, but like it that is a skill to
be able to buy things that go that don't go
so difficult. Like I'm struggling in the nursery with different
furniture pieces because I'm like I'm buying them all in
the same color, and then they go too much that
they don't go. You know, I'm out of breath talking,

(02:37):
but I might have.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Some sort of disorder where I need a project all
the time. And then I looked at you and I
was like, whatever, I haven't done anything in since we
went to Arizona and I had my laundry and floored son. Yeah,
but really before that, it's been a minute.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
And then now I'm gonna maybe move full steam ahead
on a couple of projects that are an investment in
my home.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah. I think it's just interesting for me because I'm like,
I want this to look just like this, and you're like, no,
I want to change this. So to me something's like perfect,
but to you you're like, no, the different strokes for
different folks kind of thing. But okay, I don't really
like where you put your chairs. No, I'm not going
to leave those there.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Okay, I just needed them off the wall because they
were up against the wall, and their chairs you can
spin around in. And what I've learned, I think is
those chairs are too big for the space, so I
don't know what I'm going to do with them. But
where they were you can't can't spin around in them,
and I want to be able to sit in those
chairs and twirl around. What's going on over there? Oh?

(03:43):
What'd you say? And I turn? What's going Oh what?

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (03:46):
You're want to sit by the fire? Spin around? But
where they were up against the wall, which I loved them,
they're these green leather chairs and they're under this really
smoking goat picture or an I don't know what kind
of animal it is. Actually it's not a goat.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Is it a deer? Is it antelope? Like a deer?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Maybe it's an antelope. Maybe it's a smoking antelope or something.
And the chairs are under it. It looks really cute,
But then you're like, it's almost like the chairs aren't
getting to be what they're meant to be. It'd be
like if we're in a straight jacket and we can't
go anywhere. These chairs are like we were more to move,
and we're like we can't do anything, So I need

(04:25):
to move them. Maybe they need to move rooms, That's
what I'm saying. I might move my living room couch
to the game room, and then the game room couch
to the Facebook marketplace, and then the green chairs maybe
could go up there. Maybe not do the green chairs
go into my bedroom. Maybe then I can spin all

(04:45):
around in there.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
You have a little sitting room in your bedroom.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Yeah, I'll be like, do I want to see what's
to the left of my room to the right out
the window and I can spin around, I have more freedom.
But then I have chairs in my bedroom? Where do
those go? So see how this becomes a musical chairs
Maybe the chairs in my bedroom go better in the
living room, but not with the current couch. So like

(05:08):
that's the disorder I have.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah, where like I would have just kept him against
the wall. I get the problem.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
I get it, and I Stevenson and I removing all
this furniture around ourselves this weekend. And props to him.
He's been doing a conditioning class for cross country where
he's lifting weights and it is paying off. I know
I have my little helper because what I really need
is a honey to do my honeydo list. Okay, okay,
and I don't have a honey right now, but if

(05:37):
I had a honey, I would do that honeydew hack
that you see people post about online where they're like,
just tell your man that you're you're having people over
and give him the to do list because they love
to check off a list before company is coming over
and have them tackle everything and be like, oh, it's canceled,

(05:57):
nobody's coming. But then the honey do list is done,
So I need a honey.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Well you said you wanted to start lifting weights.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, I lift it a lot.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, I don't know that that that hack would work
for me. I think my husband would be like, it's fine,
my friends don't care. Oh, unless it was like we're
hosting like an actual I don't know, like a party
of sorts.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
That's what I mean. But like you say we're putting
on a party, we're having people over.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
Then he'd be like, we gotta go to Costco and
get some stuff.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
Okay, Well then you got snacks for days too, you are.
So that's the honeybew hack if you have a honey
If not, you have to like convince yourself I'm having
a party, I'm having people over even though you're not.
And then you're like I need to act as if
because nothing whips me into shape around my house. Then company.
If I know people are coming over, like a hosting

(06:52):
a thing, not just a friend stopping by. There are
some people I don't know what disorder that is. But
if one person is coming by, like they have to
have everything per I'm not like that, but if I'm
having people over, I want to have it.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Your house is always clean where I see, it's.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
A little I was just out there in between us
filming a couple of things. I was trying to tidy.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Right now, things are and random places because you've been
moving things. But I think your version of your house
not in order, in my version of my house in
order are the same thing.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
I'm sure my type of energy around the house is
probably an energy suck because I can be a little particular. Yeah,
but my roommates because listen to this, this is where
I then I'm like, no, no, I'm normal. Because my
sister will get out of tape measure and measure her

(07:49):
curtains from the wall.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
But what that sounds normal?

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Not to hang her curtains when she's opening them, because
of course, when you're hanging I'm saying when she's tidying
her house, she might And I'm not saying she does
this every time. She's just been known to, like if
she's opening the curtains and she wants some fluffed impositioned
just right. You know she might measure that well.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Okay, I'm going to give her the grace because she's
like a designer when she is.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, some of it has to do with her her
trying to control a situation.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Would she would she agree to that?

Speaker 3 (08:30):
I think yes, I'm repeating what I've heard from her.
And maybe she's chillax a little because they have people
in and out of their house all the time. Did
you just say maybe, yeah, I said chillax? Is that
not the thing? Chiliax not a word.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
I've heard you say it?

Speaker 3 (08:56):
I relax.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I'm sorry, it's not that combining like I know what
it is.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
I know reax, relax.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, I get that. I just was shocked that that's
the word you chose. It just seems like it's.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
It's like thought, it was very fitty for that, like
it was part of your normal vocabulary versus like the
only ever time I would think you would say that
would be kind of like a joke.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
I'm sorry, that is copy.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Okay, now my eyes are watering.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Okay, maybe she's chillaxed. I think normally you would say
maybe she's relaxed a little, but you just threw that
in there. Maybe she has then brushed past it. You
could use that word. Sorry, sorry, I don't want you
to be self conscious.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
She has calmed Maybe she has calmed down a little
bit on that area. Yeah, Shannah just looked up chillax
originated in nineteen ninety.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Four and you've been using it ever since.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
So I don't know. That's just the word that came
to me. Ye, So I'm not like her in that.
I almost wish I was with some of her design
stuff because then things are positioned in the right way.
I really could channel some of that energy because here's
what would happen right now. You see how I move
things around my living room and it's like nothing makes sense.

(10:16):
If she were to come over and move things around,
I would be like what I never thought in every
scenario to put that chair right there, or not even that,
to put that tiny drink dropper right there, because that's
changing everything. And you know I love a good drink dropper.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, I bought you the same drink dropper as you.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Oh guys, we got a drink dropper off Amazon that
is so cute. It looks like nothing else that you have,
So therefore it goes.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yes, yes, I will say I had a hot glue mine.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yeah, I mean, but it's from Amazon, but it doesn't
look like it's from Amazon. And it's so easy to assemble.
I don't know why you had a hot Gluyers, but
mine just screwed on.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Well, screw is part of it. Yeah. But my sister
in laws like that too, where she actually came to
my she helped me figure out where to put my
drink dropper in my living room and she helped me
be like, oh, you have a lot of circular pieces
in here. You love circles, it seems And I was
like I do. She's like, well, it seems like you do.

(11:22):
Because it's every piece of furniture's circular. You need to
put a square piece right here, or you need a wreck.
You need to switch this one circle for a rectangle
and it will change the whole space. And I'm like,
I never would have thought that because I picked out
some circular side tables I was going to go pick
up and she said, don't do that.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
You need to diversify your shapes. Yes, I'm sure it
can be annoying for my kids when I'm wanting to
tidy up or keep things clean. Because I feel better
like put in a podcast or an audiobook, and I
just like it in her generalizer, Bunny and go. Now.
I will have my piles that are hidden where people

(12:02):
like most of my closet, and I'll just keep adding
to that pile. But at least it's not somewhere else
my closet. I feel like nobody would see, so it's fine.
Or I have some closets I'll just throw stuff into.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
How do you not have like a pile in your kitchen?
How do you not have like a pile in your
kitchen that.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
I do sometimes and then I transfer it, or here's.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
A question, because this is an issue I have. We
have like a little it used to be I think
a desk back in the day our house was built
in I think the early two thousands, and never used
to have these little desks in the kitchen. That has
become a ketch all. I made it look like a
little cute bar, but now it's a ketch all, and
it's like mail, it's like car keys, it's random lip gloss,

(12:56):
it's a pair of sunglasses, it's a book that I
started and didn't finish. It's whatever whatever that doesn't have
a home. It just goes there. What do you do?

Speaker 3 (13:06):
I have a junk drawer.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
The junk drawer is underneath. Oh so the drunk doors,
like you just.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
So I have the clue, and I have like a
little section like a door that sometimes with a bowl
in there, and I have the bowl is behind the
door like a cabinet like a glass. It's originally where
I want my espresso machine to go. But anyway, Oh,
they're that coffee nook and there's a bowl and I
just throw stuff in there. So I think it's like

(13:37):
having little systems that work for you, like you could
find have you seen the people that have the the
catch all for their purse like a purse insert that's
a little bag that makes it easy to transfer all
of your purse essentials or to your point by the
front door or your garage door wherever you're in and
out of You have like a lipstick as gloss bowl

(14:00):
or a person bowl and everything gets stumped into that bowl.
That way you just dump it or grab whichever lipgloss
you need when you're walking out the door, and it
just makes life more convenient.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
I think that that was my intention, because I have
a plate on that desk, but it's become.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
A catch all for other things everything.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, which I've been trying to I'm in the nesting phase,
which I feel like you just are a nester. I guess,
like you don't go through a phase, but in a
nesting phase. And I didn't really understand that, Like what
do you mean nesting? All I want to do is
clean out closets in like George, in my house. It's

(14:39):
all I want to do, And I just want to
throw everything in my house away. You don't get that,
but no, I get that.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
I got like I've done that or donat or yeah,
I hopefully.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
I'll donate the things that are donatable. But I just
am like, how did I get this much? I just moved.
I just moved. Do I have this much stuff in
from a small house mind you?

Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah. I think one takeaway from losing both of my
parents that I have is when we are able bodied
and young and we need to sift through our stuff,
our kids don't need to inherit our Like.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Check books from the seventies, my grandmother kept every single
what are they called, like the register or whatever where
even used to balance a checkbook. She kept every single
one she's ever had. Wow, So I could go through
them and be like, this is what she butt was mine.
That might be cool to see maybe for three of them, but.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
Then they get old.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah she had everything one. So here's my issue. Though,
This is my issue because I can get in this
like black and white where I can be very nostalgic.
My mom likes to keep things, and I have that
part where I'm like, what if my daughter wants this
one day, or yeah, what if this would be cool
for somebody to look through when I'm dead. But then

(16:09):
there's a part of me that I want to get
rid of everything, and then I have nothing for people
to like look back on my life. So how do you.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
Fuy that fine balance? I mean, well, okay, photos, real memories, mementos,
but yeah, this one thing that you ordered on Amazon
that's piece of junk that you probably shouldn't keep. Are
there any of those items?

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, But I'm like clothes sometimes are hard, or like
purses I think about so I'm may either keeping them
all because I'm like, this will be cool when my
daughter's fifteen to have this vintage purse, but then like, yeah,
also what if it's ugly? But also like.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
Purses do you actually have is it like a lot?

Speaker 1 (16:48):
I have a bin of purses, but I only use
like two. I haven't used them in years.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
But I can help you go through and maybe I
mean that might be a thing where you ask a
friend like, hey, can you help me go through the Yeah,
the last time what happened, well that was I wasn't
there right, So you have to I cannot be lumped in.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yeah with that. The last time I did this, I
cried with friends with friends, I cried. So I need
you to be gentle.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
I would be gentle, and I would encourage you to
keep on keep some of the bags. Like one of
my favorite bags that I carry when I go out
is a clutch my mom had from who knows seventies
or eighties, and I love it and I'm so glad
that she had that. But I will say she did
have a ton of stuff in her garage in her
attic that my sister and I had to sift through

(17:32):
that just wasn't.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
You're never gonna it was. People have those rules that
are like if you haven't worn it in a year,
get rid of it, or if you e haven't used
it in a year, get rid of it. But then
you know, you know, as soon as you get rid
of it, you're gonna be like, where is that three
centiment or alan ranch that I just threw away? I
need one, and I have to go to lows and
buy one.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
Yeah, well you could put that in a toolbox like
just have it's just.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Like for you're helping me keep stuck.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Well, you might need that. You might need the Alan rinch.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
So I think it's just I don't know. It can
get overwhelming. And but when my house is out of order,
I feel like your life is getting like sucked out
of me. Weh're speaking of draining energy. I have the
six types of people who will.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
Suck out of you.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, what do they call those? Energy vampires? Drain it
right out of you? The constant critic, the chronic victim,
the emotional dumper, the competitor, the fake supporter, and the
guilt tripper.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Wait, are we gonna look and see if we're one
of these?

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Well, I can go through them all in a little
more detail. Like the constant critic, nothing is ever good enough.
So if you have a critic like that in your life,
you should stop seeking their approval because it's not available,
and it hasn't been and it likely will not be.
So just know, like, Okay, this is who they are.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
So don't go to them for these things.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Victim life is always happening to them. You can empathize
once or twice, and then if you start to see
the pattern, they're like, okay, this is just selling or
you don't have to like play into it every time.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
They are also the people that you might want to
rescue and find solutions for what they don't want solutions.
So that's really what drains a lot of your energy.
I want to help you, so I'm giving you all
these ideas or whatever, but they want to be they
want to stay there, so that is really can be
frustrating for sure. That's one that I actually, I'm sure

(19:37):
we all play the victim at certain times. We all
do that, but I know we've only gone through too.
But I really don't want to be that one.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
I know I don't either, And I hope if I am,
that a friend would let me know. That would be
hard or like, hey you are, but I know you're not.
It's a fine line. If you have a trusted friend
that maybe if you know you tend to go to
victim mode. Quick, you could maybe ask a friend like, hey,
I realized this about me that I tend to shift
to victim.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, recently I asked lot. I told you, I was like,
I'm trying to be more positive. I feel like I'm
always like complaining about things. How have I been pretty good? Okay?

Speaker 3 (20:13):
I mean, you don't like where I put my chairs.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
But that wasn't me like complaining about Like I'm just
joking and the chairs can't stay there, I.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
Know, but I do like how I could swirl around
in them.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
Right, but they're right under the TV.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Would have to live at the right by the fireplace.
So I know it's summer and we're not building a fire.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
What do you do more often? Stare at the fireplace
or watch TV?

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Yeah, they're not staying there, don't worry. Okay, just letting
you know. I liked being able to spin around them,
Like I said, Uh, what did they say with people
that go to victim out a lot? They speak victim means.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
I've never heard that? Does that what the people say?

Speaker 3 (20:53):
That's what I've heard. I don't know if there's anything
victimies like sensitive about that VIC Yeah, like a language
you speak their own language. You speak like victim these
like every time they talk, they're the victim.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
What would be intensive.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
I don't know, because it sounded like another language, Vietnamese, Chinese,
but it's not related to that at all. Victim these, Yeah,
I don't know. I just try to be like, yeah,
it's really nice of you.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
I think that's okay to say, okay, thank you.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
I think there's other things that people say, like when
people speak Christianese or something like that.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
There you go, yeah, see, okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
But I haven't heard victimies.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
Victimies, uh. The emotional dumper, always in crisis, always an
emergency happening. You can care for them without carrying the
entire weight. The competitor. Your wins are threats, not celebrations.
Stop sharing your wins with people who treat them as threats.
The fake supporter. They cheer so loud for you in public,

(21:59):
but sabotage quite in private. Watch people do when your
back is turned. Why are you making that face?

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Because this sounds like this list. I'm just like, oh, like, yes,
these people exist, but it just sounds so harsh. I know.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
The guilt tripper. This is the last one. Everything somehow
becomes your faults. Their feelings are there are theirs to carry,
so you need to let them do that. And you
know what I think about with some of these people,
like I, I don't know why I can't speak.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
I just relax, Maybe you'll be able to.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
I instantly think of friendships. But you know there are
people where this is a mom, this is a dad,
this is a sibling, Yeah, this is a spouse.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
I was thinking more coworkers, m like or a yeah,
a colleague or.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Maybe someone are a little more distant. But some people
have to live.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
This is their mother. Yes, yeah, I was talking about
this with a friend who had somebody in her life
that it's like a mom daughter relationship that it feels
like they're living their life through their children. So there's
a lot of the like yeah, the competition and also

(23:18):
emotional dumping dumping. So yeah, it's easier if it's a friend. Yeah,
because I had to cut, I can create some boundaries
and I can separate myself. It's honestly easier if it's
a coworker, I might not work at this job forever.
But if it's a mom or sister and there, you
don't want to sever that relationship. Then it's like, how

(23:40):
do I learn how to live with these people in
my life?

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Well, and that's when we pick up, like if you
have been around it a lot, we pick up different
behaviors that seem sort of normal, but then they are
actually survival strategies for us. And some of those behaviors
that may see normal and again these are actually can
normal behaviors. Some of the stuff I'm going to list
you might do and it doesn't mean that this is

(24:04):
a survival strategy.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Doesn't mean that your mom is a competitor, right, or a.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Guilt tripper or chronic victimhood in your house, being easy
going all the time someone that might be their survival strategy,
so they don't ever speak up and say what they
want to do, or they share their side of things

(24:29):
over apologizing, always being the peacemaker, over explaining yourself. That's
something that I used to do a lot, but I've
worked on it. Brushing off compliments, never asking for help,
avoiding confrontation, struggling to make decisions, reading people's mood before speaking,

(24:50):
laughing off hurtful comments, feeling anxious when things feel too good,
and replaying conversations in your head. Those behaviors can be
very normal, and also they can be survival strategy and.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
Get in the way this. As you started reading this,
I started thinking about the enneagram because I was just
thinking about I think I'm a seven.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
You're a seven, right, I feel like I are. You're
such a good time.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Oh my gosh, that's so nice.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah, and you're looking forward to a good time.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Well, I think I'm a seven. But there sometimes I'm like,
my fear is everybody not everybody. A lot of people
want to be a seven. So I'm like, I hope
that I really am and I am not just like
agreeing to these things. And I'm like, yeah, being the
seven is kind of sick, you know, because there's also
other like I resonate with a sex a lot, which

(25:42):
I just say I'm a seven wing six, and I
resonate with an eight a lot.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Anyway, may bringing that up is because as you're talking
about this, especially like the first one being really easy
going all the time reminds me of a nine, which
they're the peacemaker.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
My sister is a nine and some of hers is
a survival strategy.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, and so there's these like what what you have to.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
Carring up all my sisters stuff. Sorry, hey Christy, you
and your sister need to talk. No, she would say,
she would say any of this.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
But the the nine is a peacemaker and how you
how you develop? If you're not familiar with aneagram, it's
just like a personality typing system. It's very helpful. It's
very interesting.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Uh you say it, well, I should have thought about
how because she's so easy going.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
You bring up your sister again.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Well, because when you say that, I'm like, okay, Yeah,
she's a peacemaker and she's so easy going, and I
think that's why she measures the freaking curtains.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Oh, it's where she can want life.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
No, with like all the situations, she keeps quiet. So
she's going to go over and measure the curtain to
the couch to make sure the couch is in the
right spot and the curtains are pulled back to the
right spot because that part she can control without ruffling anybody.
Else's that.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
That? Yeah, that's her own stuff versus that impacts you're
picking up all Yeah, what.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
Have you do? Is that?

Speaker 1 (27:11):
What the is that? The fingers they do? Clocket, that's
what it is? Oh? What finger?

Speaker 3 (27:17):
I don't know. Maybe sorry, I only know cool things
from nineteen ninety four, but I think in twenty twenty
six they're saying.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
What finger is it is it? It's in that it's
this one that you were doing it right clockett Okay, cool, Okay,
back to what I was saying, okayet it. How you
develop your type is like how your personality develops is
based on one part of it's your temperament. You're born

(27:50):
with some some parts of yourself that are innate, but
then your environment. And so I'm reacting to the environment,
and these are the things that help I develop these
traits in order to survey in the world and get
through the world. Some of those traits are great and
they're going to be part of your personality forever and
they're wonderful. Part of those traits get in the way,

(28:12):
and so when you said, like some of these things
can be normal too, it doesn't mean anything. Well, some
of these traits also don't need to be shifted. So
I think when we think about a lot of times,
when you think about this is why I am the
way I am, it feels like if it what if
it started? Because of you know, they're being chaos in
my family, well, then I must I need to change

(28:33):
that because it started because of something not great, but
not necessarily some of those things might be working for you.
It's only if those things are impacting the quality of
your life and your relationships do we really need to
shift them? And I say that because I think sometimes
we get too hard on ourselves and we want to
like better ourselves and continue to change. And if I
have these traits, I need to shift them, and I

(28:55):
need to be my best self. And sometimes well no,
all the times our best selves include things that aren't perfect,
our little quirks, and the way we get it it
makes us who we are. So Yes, if your sister
is not able to communicate with people and she is
not able to get her needs met because she's being
a peacemaker, and that's then why she's measuring curtains. I

(29:17):
want her to look at that stuff. But if she
just measured, if the measuring and the curtains isn't really
impacting her life in a negative way, then like go off,
you know, clock it.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
Clock it, p sure the curtains. Well, my over explaining,
I can't remember what my therapist said that was about me.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
I can't.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
I was been sitting here trying to think of the
root of way that's understood from huh. Possibly, I think
there was a little more to it, but I but
I realized what I'm doing, and I try to dial back,
like I'll type something out if I'm texting someone, and
I'll be like, Okay, are all of these worts necessary?
Like I don't think I need to do all of this,

(29:56):
so I'll shorten it and dial it back.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
And it gives you somethingnxiety about, like you can't you
almost can't like say what you want to say because
you're so worried about how they're going to interpret it.
So that impacts you. But if you I.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
Think, well you finished your thought.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
Oh no, did you agree with what I said?

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Or yes, I agree with what you said. And then
I had a thought of what my therapist said because
I just came. I've been trying to remember, and I
know she said something about me wanting to control outcomes. Yeah,
and if I over explain, that helps me control how
the outcome and how I'm received and how the other

(30:36):
person is going to respond instead of surrendering that to
the other person. So some of that was some codependent behavior,
but I wasn't okay with just like not knowing how
someone might receive something. I want to make sure they
had all of the details so they could know exactly

(30:56):
where I'm coming from. And it's like that's exhaust.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
Remember when we worked on the clearest kind and we
can just make it short and sweet and that st
and as you've done that, not everybody has received exactly
what you want them to receive. But you're saving yourself.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
Yes, well, and it's not always. I mean there's sometimes
where it's like there's conflict and that needs to be done,
but sometimes it might just be in like a simple
explanation to you where you've even noticed like that I've
gotten better at it or I don't know, you correct
me if I'm wrong, but maybe you've called me out
like well you did you need to say all of that,

(31:49):
or something like you've said.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Well you still do this sometimes in like what was
it last week? You texted me all these texts and
then you were like, never.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Mind, I processed in real time. Yeah, so it's not
that I over I didn't over I didn't see like
a whole paragraph of like all these random thoughts. Is
I I texted you too quickly.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
What was it about?

Speaker 3 (32:14):
About a video? And I sent you like a sentence
or two, and then I sent another sentence and then
I was like, okay, wait, never mind, it's actually really good.
And then I was like, the more that I think
about it, ignore me. And so I what I wish
is that I just would have been more patient and
not sent that right away. So that wasn't really me
over explaining, but it was me in real time catching myself.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
But I didn't. I didn't get to the text and.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
Oh I saw the processing of like me being like, oh,
this might need to change, da da da, and then
it's like never mind los large.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Well, I think it was because I did. We had
agreed on something that I changed it.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, and you threw me off.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yes, and you were like because that wasn't even an option,
But that's.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Not how much that's so funny because it was on
text and written and you just set it back. That
wasn't even an option, and that's not how I texted it.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
That's like my.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Tone was like I'm like, oh, oh that that wasn't
even an option, But you know, do you still.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Like I thought we agreed on this and that wasn't
even an option, just confused, yeah, kindness, confusing kindness.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
And then turns out, after I took a beat and
clocked it and I relaxed a little bit, I was like, oh, yeah,
this is actually better. So it probably wasn't an option
because you hadn't thought of that yet and it was
the best option. See, and you also have creative control
to do that, Like I was in a what you do?

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Thank you well. Sometimes we have different Me and Amy
have different strengths. Yeah, and I'm the first to say
my strength is not mark. My strength is not I
don't think my strength is creativity.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
Oh, I think you're creative.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
I don't think my strength in different ways. Okay, my
strength is not knowing what will do well on social media.
My strength is I can do something. I can get
something done, and I cannot overthink something like that. But
because you have a lot of information and you're better
at that stuff, you overthink more where I'm like, this
is fine.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
Well, thank you for the compliment that I don't think
I'm better at that. And I think it's a everyone
out there is just throwing stuff and seeing what sticks.
Like I don't know that there is a method I
don't think you give yourself enough credit for knowing what
is a good clip to pull or not a little No,
I just think that maybe you need encouragement to know that.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Like you.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Mostly pick all of our clips and they do well,
So I want you to acknowledge that. I would say
ninety nine percent of our clips are ones you've watched
and been like, Okay, I'm going to clip that, not
clock it, clip it, clip it, clip it's you.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
Yeah, I know. Thanks. I didn't really say that to
get a compliment. I was really saying, like, we have
different strengths, and so sometimes when we're communicating, stuff like
that happens because I usually rely on you to do
what I had done on my own, and it probably
shocked you.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, I think that's all it was.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, anyway, we're still friends.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
We're still friends. Were a little inside baseball there for people.
You're gonna love this because this is just for you,
because I know how much you love questions that don't
come up. Which is a segment you came up with.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yes, I love when you have a question that doesn't
come up.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
I'm ready, No, look at you, segment creator.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
Yeah, see what other segments do we have I think
that's our only segment.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
No, we have feeling of the day. Oh no, we
have feeling of the day. We have questions that don't
come up.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
We we have emails, we used to have emails.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
We have voicemails.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Yeah, but that's not segments. That's a whole episode.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Yeah, but do we have other there's no more segments.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
This is something I want to do. This is maybe
like some homework for us. I want to have more
like segments. Like maybe it's like.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
In radio we call them benchmarks.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Okay, well, let's have more benchmarks where it's like every
I don't know, first of the month, we have a
science fact. I don't know. I couldn't think of one,
but like we do something and it's.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Like, yeah, oh wait, I just saw this text from Chase.
I'm not sure. I won't speak too soon, but potentially,
if something goes through that he's working on for us,
we might have a benchmark like giveaway segment. Yeah, where
and we're trying to figure out that might be too

(36:48):
but it might be to teachers, single moms, military, But
that'll be a potentially an eight week benchmark.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
I have to clog something.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
Clock it.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Shannon just came up with this. This actually is a
good idea.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Oh yeah, well we kind of done it before. I
just read that she tells you how to done Well,
we haven't done it. We had it in the newsletter
and also I had a file for the trademark. So yes,
we made it as if we have done it before.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Okay, well I want to do maybe like that could
be emails that people send in like if you have
a way we didn't say what it was. If you
have a way to worry story, a story where you
really were anxious or kind of were not relaxing about
something and then it worked out or something like that happened,
send it to us, and that can be like our

(37:37):
monthly weaight to worry proof in the perfect and then
it shows it's other people.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
To worry worse. Yes, yeah, okay, I like it. Good job,
nice Shannon. Good because especially we did trademark wait to
Worry as its own little segment or saying saying yeah
and it's mostly so. My ex boyfriend's dad said that

(38:04):
to him, and then he said it to me when
it came to something. And then his dad is a
trademark lawyer, so he file all the paperwork for us,
and then we had to do a bunch of things
with it, and I was like, oh, well, now look
at us. We're gonna be putting it to use. Wait,
I like that to Worry segment. And it all just
poof happened here organically. So we have our weight to
Worry segment. We may have our giveaway segment coming up.

(38:27):
We've got our feeling of the day, and we have
questions that don't come up.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
I'm ready, okay.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Would you ever wear seaman jewelry? Would you ever wear
seaman jewelry? No? Do you know what it is?

Speaker 1 (39:00):
My question that doesn't come up is how do you
make semon jewelry? Like? Is it? I don't is it?

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Like?

Speaker 1 (39:06):
Is it in a capsule?

Speaker 3 (39:08):
So there's this woman. She pops up in my algorithm
where she makes necklaces and bracelets. She takes the uh
contribution from the man contribute into a powder. Do you see?

Speaker 1 (39:27):
I wonder how that's done.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
Freeze, dry it maybe or something, and then it's turned
into a powder and mixed into clay and then she
forms it into a piece of jewelry. That's watching her
do it right now.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Wait, I thought it would the powder will maybe be
in a capsule. It's like it's touching me her.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
She's trinkets by Amanda Both. In case anybody's interested in
this first exactly exactly, I'm sorry, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
I don't know. Would you wear this?

Speaker 3 (40:00):
No ill, But that's why I was wondering if you would,
because you get real sentimental, Okay, like Patrick, you would.
I'm not saving You're obsessed with Patrick Fair.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
I'm obsessed with my husband. I'm not wearing his semen.
And the fact that you would even consider that I would.
He's offensive and you are being a fake supporter.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
I'm trying to fend one of those things in but.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
What there's a fake supporter?

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Well, I was just trying to pick one of those
sucking things that you were talking about, energy suckers.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
There is a company also in addition to stop it,
that makes it, that's called Chiselry.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Is this commedy profitable I don't know, but it must.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
Be in demand enough to where people have.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
There's no there's no stuff. I don't believe that girl.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
There's Jiselry. I mean it must be a thing. There's
a market. I mean, my mind is blown that women
are having I'm made out of this.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
But okay, I want to be open, Okay, not for
I don't want to wear this, but I need to
know a scenario in which this would be the sentimental
thing somebody chooses.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Like maybe maybe they are have testicular cancer and they're
about to.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Get there and it's like their last semen there's removed. Okay, okay,
and so they want to save a little bit of
the last yes, huhrah.

Speaker 3 (41:46):
Or maybe they are being proactive in case that happens.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
So okay, okay. I I don't can't be that many
of those people out there though, that want to make
it into jewelry.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
I don't even have anybody to mean it's expensive too, Yeah,
well I think it depends on who you go to.
But yeah, the whole process they are they're handling that
stuff and then drying it out and then forming it
into a custom piece of jewelry.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
For you, what's the trajectory to become that person like
that makes that Like you just start as a normal
jewelry maker and you're like, I want a niche market
to drum up business. Yeah, I want to know the
origin story of these people.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
I mean that there really is a market for everything,
if you think about it.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
And this is what I have to tell myself. Not
everything that you see on the internet is working out
like it looks like it, you know, like like like
the businesses, Yeah, like how many how many orders did
she get a day? Not that I want to wish
bad business on her. I hope that she is.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
She might make other types of jewelry too.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
This is just.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
Well, they have a whole system. You can pick your piece,
receive your collection kit, make your contribution, you send it
back and then they work the magic according to their.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
What what would you do if for an anniversary, Valentine's Day, Christmas?
What have you you got a piece of jizzelry?

Speaker 3 (43:30):
I can't decide if I would be cute out or
it be hilarious.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
What if it was cute, would you wear it?

Speaker 3 (43:37):
I mean maybe maybe? Now you're talking like if if
if I was dating somebody or my husband whatever gave
me that, I would think I would need to know
his intents, like if it was to be hilarious, like
that could be kind of funny.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
And then you would wear it. Yeah, And people are
like where did you get that?

Speaker 3 (43:54):
And I'd be like.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
Read dot com.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
We have to stop saying that. I feel like people
are gonna be like gagging.

Speaker 5 (44:01):
But I I think I would be okay, what if
he but if he was serious and it was some
sort of like marking my territory thing, that would be weird.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Yeah, yeah, I guess if it was a joke. But
also is it from the prices that I'm it's extensive joke?
I beg you we could have gotten something else.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Yeah, like you could have bought me something like really nice,
which speaking of having a partner and being in relationships,
like I don't have anybody that's going to be giving
me this jewelry. So we're good. But you also were
telling me before we sat down to record that there's
a crush recession and I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Well, yeah, we talked about this a little bit months ago,
maybe with dating app fatigue that was happening. Yeah, and
now I saw this new term. Apparently people are saying
this like online the maybe it's the kids that are
saying chill. The kids aren't saying chocks, no, saying clockett.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Uh so there's a c recession and it's basically it's
along the same lines but people are less getting less
likely to go out and date and getting less excited
about dating.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
Oh well you told us about solo maxing.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yes, yeah, yes, that must have been what it is like.
That is all I think. That is becoming a bigger
and bigger story and more people are opting. And I
hear this as a therapist in my office of people
just getting fatigued from whether it's dating apps or going
out and trying to date, because it's just not working

(45:33):
out for them. But but I do say it doesn't.
It doesn't work out until it does, you know, right,
Which that's also one of the most annoying things to
hear if you are in the process, because you kind
of just gave me a look.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Well, I mean, and I knew where you were coming
from because you went on a lot of bad dates
until you didn't. Yeah, yeah, so.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
I get And guess what my husband went on to
He only went on too, He went on when he
got on the dating apps. He went on one date
with somebody else, didn't have a second date. And then me,
oh wow, And I said, well, do you want to
come over and see my shitty day jar? Because I've
been on about four hundred so this is really nice
for you.

Speaker 3 (46:12):
I thought you were going to bring that jar one
day and we were going to open that boy up.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
We should okay, sorry, I used to remind me, okayay,
that'd be a good anyway. There was a survey done.
Fourteenth annual Singles in America survey released by the Kinsey
Institute found that fifty three percent of singles reported dating burnout,
forty six percent took breaks from dating to recharge, and

(46:37):
sixty three noticed more passive passivity, notice more passivity and
making the first move. So data has also shown that
dating and appy use and marriage rates have been falling.
I didn't know that marriage rates had been falling falling,
So I guess what I'm curious about is what's going

(46:58):
to be the next thing. Because if day apps are
starting to go on like a down trend, people can
improve the dating apps. They do that and they change
things about them, But like, is there going to be
something else? Like is it going to be in person events?

Speaker 3 (47:10):
Are you going to go back to setting people up?

Speaker 1 (47:13):
I hope so I would. I would do that if
I had people to set up. You know how cool
that would be if you were like at somebody's wedding.
You're like, I did that.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Oh, I made that happen.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
I thought about starting like a dating service at one
point in my life. You know, I always have a
new idea because I'm like, I feel like i'd be
really good at getting stop looking.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
At what my eyes are. I'm intrigued. I've never heard this. Like,
I'm like, we've been friends for so long and I've never.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Heard this is a dream that doesn't come up, you know,
dreams that don't come up.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
I just think because I this is me patting myself
on my own back. I've never set anybody up before.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
Never.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
But you're like, I don't have a datting average is
nothing because I've never done it.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
But I've never done it, never tried. But I'm good
at understanding people's psyches and behaviors and all that. And
I feel like i'd be able to come up with
the good questionnaires to see who would be good fits
with who, So you know how Patti Stanger from Million
Dollar Matchmaker. I don't want to be a million dollar matchmaker,

(48:26):
but I would love to have a database of singles
and then have people because you could just be a passive.
You want to be in the database, but you're not
going to like, this is where my business brain was going.
You can you pay like whatever ten dollars to be
in the database, but you're not being set up on
a date. I'm not matching you with somebody. You're just
in my group. And then you have the people that

(48:47):
are like I want to find somebody, and then you
pull from your database and you set people up and
then I can give them some I mean, I would
need to be a little bit more trained on this,
but then you do some coaching and you do some
I just feel like that'd be so fun and I
feel like I could be good at it.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
So while you were talking about that made me think
of this one girl that pops up into my feed
every once in a while, and her name is Matchmaker Tiffany,
and sometimes her videos come up and they always catch
my attention. But she doesn't ever show who her client is.
But she'll say, hey, ladies, if you're between thirty five

(49:22):
and forty five, listen up, I've got a guy. He
lives in California, but he also has a home in Austin.
He's back and forth. He's open to anybody in the
United States, though he loves to travel, he loves dogs,
his kids have grown, he's looking to travel, blah blah blah.
Like she starts saying all these things about him, and

(49:42):
he sounds so great.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
He's six to very many comments. Get well.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
But then I'm like, well, how do you do? You
have to then DM her and be like, hey, you
want to consider me since that's her client, do we
have to become her client too? Or can we be
like I think? Oh, here, I just pulled up her
account and it says bachelor Alert for Texas and California.

(50:09):
This might be the same guy owns multiple businesses, self aware,
gorgeous smile, flexible schedule. He's hoping to meet a woman
between thirty and forty five. I'm like, I'm forty five.
I'm at the top end of that. Oh. He wants
her to have flexibility in her schedule. I don't have
flexibility in my schedule or my legs. I mean my

(50:33):
hamstree O, not like where are you're going? I just
meant I'm not flexible in any area anyway my life.
I mean my hamstrings are tight. Yeah, yeah, they are
like really tight. U should we take that out?

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (50:50):
He also wants her to be curious about life, open minded,
excited to build a real partnership. He's simply looking for
someone who dreams big, embraces growth, and wants a long
term relationship.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
So I would assume that you don't have to be
a client of hers. You would just like comment or
DM her.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Okay, I looked at someone's comment. Okay, my mother just
sent me this. He sounds great, and I just filled
out the application. Moved to Austin from socow and love both.
So I guess there's an application to fill out, because
that's what this.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
If you, if you are like I like that guy,
you probably go to her website, fill out the app
and then she sees if you're a fit and yeah,
did you ever see that? I think it was like
Kelly's Corner or something, or Kelly's Singles. It was a
Nashville thing where this.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
Girl she goes to the park. Did she go to
the park and talk to singles?

Speaker 1 (51:44):
No?

Speaker 3 (51:44):
Oh, I see that girl. Okay, is that park you like?
What's it called? Yeah, she goes there.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
I haven't seen her. And she just goes up to
random people.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
Yeah, they're either random or she might know them, but
she'll interview them and ask them what they're looking for, like,
what's their dating lifelike?

Speaker 1 (52:01):
Is she trying to set people up? I don't really know.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
She's only just popped up in my feet every now
and then. But she does a good job because it
always gives my attention.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Well, this was like an Instagram from this was like
seven years ago. I don't know if she still does this,
but you would just apply to be one of her singles.
I think she did it once a year and she
would post all these people to her Instagram and then
you would comment on that. If you were interested in
that person, then you would comment on their picture and
be like, I want to be set up with this person. Oh,

(52:29):
but I would I was single when she was doing that.
I would never do that because what if you don't
get that many comments?

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Oh yeah, it's vulnerable to it's very.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Vulnerable I want. Yeah, And then I also don't want
to comment on their page because it's like, oh, it
feels a competition, you know. So I don't know if
I would do it that way, but I wonder how
many people. I mean, she did it for years, so
she it had been working for people. Yeah, So I
just think that I could. So, Okay, let me tell
you what this article that I was reading about crush recession,

(53:02):
this is the tips they gave, and I just feel
like my matchmaking might be better than these tips. Okay.
The tips they said are opt for less expensive dates,
because that was one of the things that was driving fatigue,
is it's expensive to go on a lot of dates.
So they're like, go to the park, go whatever, which
I do get that, Like, if you're trying to meet

(53:23):
a lot of people, you can't be buying somebody dinner,
or buying drinks or buying whatever three nights a week.
You know. Change your expectations of dating. Don't expect people
to be all hyped or amped during dating. There may
be some bumps and even some pessimism. So don't fret it.
If you and a date are not singing Taylor Swiss
Love Story by the end of the night, just not
a bad Okay. Yeah, change your goals for dating. Rather

(53:45):
than being laser focused on finding the one, maybe your
goal is to simply meet and learn about different people.
In the meantime, you might find that right match for
you comes in an unexpected package. Which these are all great,
I shouldn't have set that up the way I did.
These not bad tips, I agree with all of them.
I think we also just need to shake up the

(54:06):
dating world.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
Okay, shake it up, you do it. Can't start your
business starting with your baby, and you're gonna be like, sorry.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
I can't feed you. I have to set this person
up on a date. But also, like, I would love
to have a database of people. So when I do
meet somebody who's like, I'm like, I wish I could
set you up, I'd be like, oh, let me look
in my book. Yes, I think you didn't have to
pay in it.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
I think you would be good at it that I'm
gonna encourage that. Well, see what is in this next
chapter for you? You never know what you might do.
I'm with your therapy background, I do think you would
know like the right questions to ask people. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
I need a business partner to financially support me and
to help me make business decisions.

Speaker 3 (54:49):
But what are the finances involved in this? Upfront? Just curious?

Speaker 1 (54:53):
I just imagine there to be some.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
You just need people, people, you need people.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Well, I probably need to host an event to get
people to know about that, you know.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
What I mean, Like Okay, so you need to host.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
I'm gonna do it. If I'm gonna do it, I'm
gonna do it, right, all right, do you want to
do it? You can help you out an event? Could
you could help me host an event? You could be
the host. Yeah, And so you're going to hosting things
and in a candidate and you kind would be like
the star and that would be really cool for you
because you'd be like, Oh, I'm just here because I'm
the host. But like that is cute.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
I want to share something that I just saw on
Matchmaker Tiffany's page that is a good thing to close on.
That's really positive that it has to do with just
our behavior in general, whether you're dating or not. We
have happily married people that are listening, but you may
not know you're worth. And she is a matchmaker, so
it is leaning to dating, but there might be inconsistency
in a lot of your relationships that you allow. It's

(55:53):
through to d with this little tidbit.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Okay, clock it.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
People throw around the phrase know you're like, it's a mindset,
it's it's a behavior. Knowing your worth isn't posting a quote,
it's not pretending you don't care, and it's definitely not
playing hard to get. It's choosing not to reward inconsistency.
It's paying attention to patterns instead of potential. It's letting

(56:18):
people reveal who they are before you decide who they are.
Most people don't get hurt because they ignored red flags.
They get hurt because they explained them away. The right
person won't need unlimited access to you to stay interested.
They won't disappear the first time you set a boundary,
and they won't expect you to prove your value before
they show you theirs. Stop trying to convince people you're

(56:40):
worth choosing, Start paying attention to who's already acting like it.
Save this for the next time someone tells you to
know your worth but forgets to explain what that actually means.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
I love that. M hmm, that's good. I was watching
logan Uri. I think that's her name. She was the
psychologist for a hinge. Maybe she was a behavioral psychologist
or hinge. She actually had a dating She had a
dating show called Elder Dating or something like that. It

(57:13):
was like dat, it was a dating she was match
making older people. I thought it was cute, but she
was talking recently on a reel that popped up on
my page that was saying don't She talked about not
lowering your standard. She was like a lot of people
like when she's giving her feedback or she's coaching people,
she's helping them fine tune what's important to them, and

(57:35):
she's like, people will look at me and say, oh,
so you want me to lower my standards, like do
not think I'm worth that? Stuff like that, and she's like, no,
I don't want you to lower your standards. This isn't
about lowering your standards, but you need to maximize what
is important to you. And that is a problem. I
think we do have instances and I was probably a
part of that too, Like I probably did the same
thing where I want the whole package plus like the

(57:59):
gift with per situation, like I want everything plus more,
but then you miss out on something that can be
very good and you won't ever have. I love. I'm
obsessed with my husband. I he there are things that
if I made a list of everything I wanted in
a partner, he wouldn't have all of those things on them.
So it's not about lowering my standards because I don't

(58:20):
think I'm worthy of that. It's maximizing what I do
think I'm worthy of and focusing on that stuff. If
you are a single person. She's a good follow she
has good She says, you follow her?

Speaker 3 (58:32):
So what's her name again?

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Logan Uri? Why do I follow her? I don't know
if I do follow her?

Speaker 3 (58:36):
I might No, I think I said I need to
follow Okay, I don't like.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
Why do you follow her? I was like, I like
what she says, Like.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
I guess how do you spell her? Lessoname?

Speaker 1 (58:44):
I think it's you are why? Okay? I don't know
if I'm saying it correct, but Rah.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
Could be Oh yeah her uh Paige, what's the thing?
Her bio? Her bio says it's time to date smarter
scientist at hinge dating coach at Netflix.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
Her book is called How to Not Die Alone? Did
you say that?

Speaker 1 (59:11):
No? But that's a good title. I guess that'll get you.
I don't want to read that book at a bar.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
If that's the bar, that's the book. I take to
the bar with a glass of wine, setting by myself
to see if some man comes up and talks to me.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
I would recommend you to take the book jacket off
of that one if that's what you're although it might
actually spark conversation if somebody's like, I don't want to
die alone either.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Ooh, I love this. On her page, she has the
post date eight. So after a date, you may have
a checklist of criteria that you look for, and she's
got her post date eight questions. What side of me
did they bring out? How did my body feel during
the date? Was I stiff or relaxed? Do I feel
more energized or de energized? Like did they suck the

(59:53):
life out of me energy wise? Are they one of
the six energy suckers? Is there something about? And then
I'm curious about did they make me laugh? Did I
feel heard? Did I feel attractive in their presence? And
did I feel captivated, bored or something in between? The
post date eight?

Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
I like those questions. I like that did I feel
attractive in their presence? That? I have a lot of
follow up questions to that that's interesting, like how you
feel or do you feel like self conscious in their presence?
Or do you feel I like I've.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Never I know, we keep going on and on. I
said I was gonna close, but I am listening to
a book right now, and she's in an emotionally abusive relationship,
but she never knew how to categories? Is that?

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Are you already in a new book?

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Yeah, it's one that I'm just listening to. I didn't
even order the physical copy because I was moving my
furniture around and cleaning, so I was like, I need
something to listen to. It's by Abby Jimenez, and I
read them out of order because I ordered Yours Truly,
and I read that and it was so good. I
loved it so much that then I got her next book.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
And wait, what do you mean you read them out
of order?

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
Well?

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
Did they go together? Or they do?

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
But I didn't know it. So I read Yours Truly,
and I was like, oh, I should order another one
of her books, but I wanted to just get it
on audible and listen to it while I was cleaning
my house. And I got the book that was the
book that came out before Years Truly, So you're getting
because stuff in Yours Truly. I had no idea they

(01:01:27):
were connected, but they are so. About halfway through when
I realized they were connected, I already knew it was
going to end because I knew in the second book
some of the stuff of how but it was like
different characters. Well anyway, well, now I'm giving away some
stuff if people want to read the book, because I
wasn't going to give the title, but I've already said
the you're not I already said Abby. Well, anyway, she's

(01:01:48):
in an emotionally abusive relationship. And I can't even remember
why I was going to bring this up, but it's
called Part of Your World. Just read that one first
read Part of Your World, and then read yours truly,
but just know that, I mean, you know there's abuse
in the books. She gives a forewarning about what's to

(01:02:10):
come in case, like a trigger warning, and she she
like never knew him treating her that way was emotional abuse,
but he was trying to tear her down so that
she would feel so insecure that she wouldn't want to
leave him. So I think why I brought that up
was how you feel around someone like when, if do

(01:02:30):
you feel attractive when you're around them? And how did
they pump you up and make you feel like desirable
and beautiful and all the things? Because he was she
was beautiful and desirable, or her character is but he
would say things like have you showered today? But she
would have she would have already taken two showers.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
And it's like nobody else will love me. I stink.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
So he was so consistent with that type of those
types of comments that she made a doctor's appointment. And
this is a fictional character, but she made a doctor's
appointment to see if there was something wrong with her
that was making her smell. And the doctor was like, nope,
all your bound to your pa. Yeah, she she smelled fine.
It was his tactic to abuse her in that way.

(01:03:18):
So anyway, there you have it. Okay, Yeah, I think
that's it. Yeah, we're good. All right. We hope wherever
you are, you have the day you need to have.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
Bye. Bye,

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