Amy & Kat discuss a study that says women struggle to focus on conversations when they feel only okay about their outfit. Then, a 50 year old single listener from Colorado wants to know if it is wrong to keep seeing a man she genuinely likes but feels no physical attraction toward. Amy & Kat weigh in. Then, Karissa from Texas shares her 4 year stab-iversary story, how a coworker attacked her with a box cutter, and how the forced forgiveness episode Amy & Kat did lead her to share this with us. It is a powerful one. Plus, an update from Cindy in Indiana who went through months of court proceedings with her ex and came out the other side standing strong. And they also give some Nashville recommendations.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
While we hope couch Talks can be a tool that
helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks
does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy
or any mental health services.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Good break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
If you ever have feelings that you just fallsome, Amy
and Cat got you covin locking, No, brother, ladies and felons,
do you just follow an the spirit where it's ounds
phone or real stuff to the chill stuff and the
m but sway. Sometimes the best thing you can do
it just stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things
(00:38):
with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q and a
episode to the Feeling Things podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I'm Amy and I'm Cat and Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Apparently women cannot focus on a conversation if they feel their.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Outfit is just okay, I feel that.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Wait, your outfit is so cute today?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Well you just feel that today? No, I feel that
in general, like, oh yeah, I do too. If you
don't like your outfit, then it affects your experience.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Apparently, feeling confident in an outfit can affect more than
just your appearance. A study showed that many women said
they find it harder to fully focus on a conversation
when they feel just okay about what they're wearing. And
this was like women only guys didn't have this problem.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh that's interesting. Well, I was going to add to that.
What affects me sometimes even more than if I like
my outfit, is if I'm comfortable in my outfit, because
sometimes I like my outfit, But if I'm constantly like,
am I boob showing? Or is this whatever? Is this
too short? Like if I'm worried about any part of it.
If I'm not super comfortable, That's what affects me. So
(01:44):
I'm feeling great because I'm full coverage baggy outfit.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Right?
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Is this little onesie outfit from or what's it called?
Like a jumper?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
A jumper? This is Free People And I bought it
when I first found out I was pregnant because I
was like, oh that I could wear that throughout my pregnancy,
so cute whatever, But you know how Free People off
is so long and I'm short, so it was like
five inches too long, and then I was too I
don't want to say lazy. I hate taking things to
(02:11):
get them altered. I it's just a task that I dread,
so I didn't do it, and then I just had
the thought to try it on the other day. And
because my stomach protrudes, I no longer have to get
it hemmed.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Oh perfect, Yeah, so pulled it on up.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
All right, we got our first email. This is from Carissa, Hey,
Amy and Kat. I'm thirty seven, I live in Texas
and I'm a mom of a ten year old girl,
and last Thursday was my four year stab aversary, on
the same day your forced Forgiveness episode came out.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Well, this is us talking here.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
When I first read that stab aversary and then I
read the rest of the email and I got it.
But yes, you heard me correctly, stab aversary meaning she
got stabbed, say anniversary of her years ago, and then
she listened to our podcasts. Happened to be that day
force forgiveness, which we weren't saying you should force forgive anything,
(03:10):
by the way, It was just a Kat explaining what
force forgiveness is. Backstory, I work in retail and a
male associate attacked me with a box cutter, stabbing me
four times.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Thankfully I was mostly okay.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I can now talk about it with no anxiety and
even laugh at some of the facts, like when I screamed,
the other manager who was in the back thought I
was screaming because of a bug. Now back to the
Force Forgiveness episode that was the last piece.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Of my healing journey. I don't wish him any harm.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
In fact, in my victim's statement, I even told him
that I hoped that he would get the help he needed.
I have compassion for him in the sense that he
didn't have the tools to silence his demons, and I
have slowly learned to forgive him, while it took a
lot of work to get here. Some family and friends
don't understand my feelings. I hated him for the first
(04:04):
two years as I continued therapy and worked through triggers
that I realized that doesn't do me any.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Good to hate him.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Instead, I do hope that he's okay and he's gotten help.
The Bobby Bone Show got me through my darkest days,
and once I found this podcast, I was hooked. I
feel like I'm part of the conversation, laughing and crying
with you all.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Thanks for all you do.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Also, congrats to Kat on your pregnancy and Amy.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I've loved seeing your glow up.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Chris ab PS, if you end up reading this, you
can use my name. I just saw the PS part
and I was like, I thought you quick glance. It
was like, PS, if you read this, don't use my name.
And I said it at the very beginning.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Ah, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, working in retail is scary. Have you done? Have
you worked in retail?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I mean, I know you worked at the limited too.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Was of your frame and I had a scary encounter,
like nobody stabbed me, but working at the mall and
there's all kinds of.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
But this was a fellow associate. Oh it wasn't a customer.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Oh I'm missing, she.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Said, a male associate attacked me with a box cutter.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So when you're I assumed they're back in the back
cutting open boxes.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
That's why he had the box cutter.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
She said. Her boss was in the back, so she
was how it happen on the floor.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Well, I think, well whatever, it doesn't matter. That's the detail.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
She still got sacked and her manager thought she was
screaming because of a bug.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh okay, well that's even scarier. I know.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
But to the forgiveness part in her her family and
friends not understanding how she's able to do it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Do you have any thoughts, Well, I understand. I get that, Like,
it's okay for other people to have their defensive of
you and protective of you and so, like they have
all those feelings for you, so it makes sense that
you would be able to move on friendly than them
because that's what you needed. And I think that's okay.
(06:05):
I think it's okay for people to be confused by that.
You don't need to always have everybody understand everything for
it to feel right. You don't need to always have
everybody understand everything for it to feel right.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Definitely not.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
This is totally totally different, But it's making me think
of some parenting things that I had to do along
with my ex husband, like choices we had to make
and how we parent our adopted children that have a
different life experience than other kids. And there were some
people directly in our lives, family and friends, that were
questioning some of our methods which were good for us
(06:52):
and given to us by therapists, and they were questioning
it and we had to say, like, well, this is
what works for us, and your thoughts on this are
just not gonna matter. But I knew they were coming
from a place of love and care. They just wanted
us to do it differently. But it's it's the way
different but same of like, yeah, it's sweet that you care,
(07:14):
and this is what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And it's also the way people share that they disagree,
Like if somebody says to you, well, you shouldn't have
forgiven them, like something's wrong with you. If you can
forgive that person or something along those lines, that's a
little different than like, I'm happy that you're able to
forgive that person. I don't know that I can never
do that for you. You see how that's different because
(07:38):
that can just sound like judgmental and for you and
in your circumstances, it's one thing of somebody is like, oh,
that's interesting that I I'm a little confused by this
in some way versus you're doing it wrong or you
shouldn't do that, or you're gonna make a big mistake.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Why Why is saying yeah, yeah, I'm glad you found
tools though, or hope for you to work for you.
That's not how we do with our kids, and I'm
curious to see how this works out.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, yeah, why is one word I've shared this with
you before that they kind of try to knock out
of you when you are training to become a therapist
because it is so it can make somebody feel very
defensive and it's very accusatory. So when I say why
did you do that? Feels different than like I'm curious
about that decision. You're still kind of asking the same thing,
(08:27):
but I'm curious of how you got there, or I'm
curious how that's going to work for you, or something
like that feels like I'm interested, I'm curious versus why.
It just feels like I have to defend myself.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Then well, Chris, I'm really sorry that that happened to you,
and I'm thankful that you've found the tools.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
That are helping you.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Kat what happened to you at Limited too with a
weird customer.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
So thank you for asking I it was like night,
it was almost close time. And you can tell when
somebody's shoplifting because they usually have it or back then
there wasn't like security cameras and stuff or anything like that.
Security was just different in general. Back then, you can
tell in somebody's shoplifting they have big bags. Sometimes they're
(09:11):
lined with a little foil, so the sensors don't go off.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well, we saw these two people that were clearly stealing stuff,
and you're not supposed to say anything, Like you're not
supposed to directly say anything to them if I was
supposed to go to a manager. And then what you
do is you just follow them around and you just
make them feel like you're being extra customer servicey, but
you don't ever say like, I saw you put in
that in your back. Well, we were at the front
(09:38):
of the stoor and this lady literally took something and
put it in her bag right in front of me.
These were professional shoplifters. They knew the rules, they knew
and so I said to my manager. I was like,
her name was Heather, and I was like, Heather, she
just put something in her bag. And this woman got
in my face and said something. I think she called
(09:59):
me baby. She did call me baby. She was like baby,
reached her hand down into her shirt, pulled out a
lot of cash and threw it on the table and
she goes, I don't need to steal anything, and I
just was like, and she picked up all of her money,
walked out, and of course the censor the alarm went off.
But she didn't heed him money. She didn't leave the money.
(10:21):
She was showing me that she has all this money.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I'm glad else she was grabbing this money. I thought
you were gonna say she reached into her shirt and
pulled out a gun.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah, well she could have. And that I learned a
huge lesson because obviously I'm like, she's doing something wrong.
She has to be stopped, and they are like, this
merchandise is not worth you getting hurt. So if they
steal stuff, it is frustrating. This This to me is
like justice. I'm like, they shouldn't be allowed to just
(10:48):
get away with it. But there it is not worth it.
They could steal one thousand dollars worth of stuff, which
at limited two back then honestly was easy to do
because their stuff was so expensive for kids. But we
don't want you to put yourself in danger. And I
was like thank you, and then they're like, don't ever
do that again. I was like, got it, got it.
(11:08):
So I never did nice and she had a lot
of free stuff, So I guess I think.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Overall blanket lost for lost prevention type yeah, rolls or
just let them go right.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
They made me watch a couple of extra loss prevention
videos after that.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Like universally, it's like, yeah, we don't want to be
held responsible for you losing your life over a tank top.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Right, well, and then I think you could like call
the mall security, but they're also not going to do
that much either, so there was no box cutter situation
though like that. I'm grateful that that's all that happened.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Hey, I've been seeing this man for about one point
five months now.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
He is great. Would you say one and a half
or one point five?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I'd say one and a half.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I know, but they wrote at one point five and
I would write it that way too, but then I
would verbalize.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
It one and a half. So I don't know why
I just did that.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
One point five months now, he is great. He tells
me how beautiful I am. He treats me well, and
I like spending time with him. He's much older than me,
about eighteen years. I do not feel physically attracted to him,
and I was hoping that eventually that might come around.
But I don't know if it's fair for me to
continue a relationship without a physical connection. I guess my
(12:30):
question is is it bad for me to continue to
see him and spend time with him knowing that the
physical spark is not there.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
That's first part.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Next advice I would love is what and where to
visit while I'm in Nashville in October. I know about
the normal tourist spots, but are there any cool spots
that regulars hang out in or go to that rock,
whether it's a bar, restaurant, or landmark? Thank you in advance.
Fifty year old single woman from Colorado. Wow, she found
(13:01):
herself a sixty eight year old.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I did that too, but I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Like, if I were to date somebody eighteen years older
than me, like I'm at getting to the point where
you am, he would be.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
In his sixties.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
And I used to think I couldn't see myself dating
someone in their fifties, but now I easily could, and I.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Do and I have and I did and I did.
But see, this doesn't sound that weird to me.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
But I get the whole physical attraction part. I think
that that's an important piece.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So if her question is she knows it's not going
to grow, because she mentioned like I thought it was
going to grow, I fully believe that the more you
get to know somebody. This is true. I believe this,
and this has been proven. People change, like the way
they look, the way you see them changes, and so
(13:49):
if you get to know somebody and you really really
really are into them emotionally, then they will become more
attractive to you. But if she's she feels like she's
given that enough time, then my question would be like,
what is she doing. Is she waiting for that to
grow or she just like enjoys him enough so and
(14:10):
she's not that serious about it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I mean, she could maybe give him a little more time,
but I think she likes the other things that he offers,
which relationships. Remember, it's like you can't expect your partner
to fill every single thing in your life, but physical
part is partner part.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
You can't get that physical.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
From anybody else if you're in a monogamous relationship. Yeah,
so it's like, you know, if he's not that funny,
it's like, oh, well, you can have your funny friends
and they fill that void.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
But if you don't have.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Physical you can't really be like, hey, friend, can you
feel this physical part for me?
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Like that's just not going to happen.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
So, oh, that's a tough one because if you have,
if you're getting so many other things from him that
feel good and then that one thing is lacking, I
feel like I can kind of speak to that a
little bit. You and I know that there's somebody in
my life where it's kind of like that. Oh, like
there's so many boxes that get checked and then it's
just like the attraction is just not there and it's.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Like, well, dang, but they'll never give it a shot. No, yeah,
because because you know, you know, it's not like she
she didn't know this person before she started dating him,
so she's giving a shot to see if that grows. Right.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So, I but I think that it's old. It's still
only been one point five months. Like she could she
could give it.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
To give it more, I would. I would say I
would give it if you really are enjoying all of
these other things about him, and he feels like a
good person and you can see outside of the physical
attraction a future because of these other traits, I would
at least give it three months. I don't think that's
unfair for you to date him, because we also that's
(15:51):
what dating is is we are getting to know somebody
and see and seeing how feelings develop. It'd be the
same thing if I was like, well, I don't know
if is personality gels exactly with mine. Well, I'm gonna
give it time, and I'm not gonna tell him I
don't really like your personality. I don't know if I
like your personality. I'm not gonna tell him that. I'm
gonna get to know him, just like I don't think
(16:12):
she needs to say I don't know that I'm attracted
to you yet. Give it time, and then if it
doesn't come, then you can make a decision of how
you want to move forward.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, as for Nashville and October, the weather's going to
be great then, So I don't know if y'all like
to hike or get out and about. But there's a
couple of parks you could go to that I love
that are not They're not downtown or anything, so you'd
have to drive out. But Radner Lake is really pretty
to walk around. Or Percy Warner has like beautiful steps,
(16:41):
be a good little photo shoot for your Oh, I
don't know if he's coming with you. You might be coming
with friends. But whoever you're coming with in October, I
feel like being with you might not even Yeah, you
might not even.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Be with him anymore.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
So whatever people you're coming with, if y'all like to
have like an active activity, those are two places like
where you could go and that's where.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
The locals are. I don't know that a lot of
tourists go do that stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I think you could see some really cute pretty birds.
So it's gonna say cute birds, but pretty birds or owls.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I love when I'm hiking Radner and I see a
barred owl. It's like a fun game. Or there's bald eagles.
There's a big, big bald eagle nest at Ratner and
that's cool. Well, she's she's fifty, she may be feeling
me on the birds like I, and she's from Colorado.
She might like outdoors and stuff like that. And then
downtown Franklin.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
That's what I was gonna say. It's so cute if
she wants to venture outside of Nashville, they'll be tourists
in downtown Franklin. But also like I live over there
and I go there to run the errands and shop
and stuff too. Yeah, so you'll get a little of both.
The areas that are like of course people go to
like twelve South and stuff like that. Sometimes that's not
even fun anymore.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Because there's so many people, so crowded.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I tried to run an erran there the other day
and I'm like, nope, this is two prime time. The
tourism starts on about Wednesday afternoon and goes until Sunday.
So now if I need anything from any of those shops,
I go Tuesday at noon.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, it's like my only option. It's a fun place
to go, but I would just be prepared. That is,
you're going to be crowded. It's if you go anywhere
to eat, you better have a reservation.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I love the Henry on twelve South h the in
in October.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
I bet that road top tr Ooh.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Buttermilk Ranch, have you been there? That's in twelve South,
that place. Pro tip, they do not do reservations, but
you can put your name on the list before you
go and then kind of skip the line. So if
you want to go there, if you go on a weekend,
it will be like a three hour wait. So put
your list, your name on the list like three hours
before you want to go. Got it very good though?
Speaker 4 (18:49):
All right?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Next up, we have an update from a listener. She
had written in a couple of months ago, asking how
not to cry in certain situations. She was going back
to court with her husband. Do you recall this person?
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
In case y'all didn't catch that episode, she had to
go to court with her husband, who had an affair
and then he married the woman to figure out stuff
with the kids, and she asked, how how do I
stay strong? How do I not cry when I'm confronted
by them? How do I not cry when I get
scared of them? I'm afraid it will ruin the integrity
(19:25):
of this case. I'm just trying to do it's best
for my kids. So that's some of the backstory. This
is her update. Hey guys, we wrapped this all up
last week. It was several months of going back and forth,
hopefully avoiding court, which we did.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Phew.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
I cried a few times in private, but I stood
so strong against their antics. I wasn't backing down because
I know what these kids and myself deserve. Everything happened
as it should, and past agreements were fixed and reimbursements
and new agreements are in effect. Thanks for the advice.
(20:04):
I listened back several times to remind myself that it
is okay, I'm okay and it will all work out,
which Kat in case people hadn't heard that when it
came to her crying and being strong and knowing she's
capable and she's able to do that.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
Do you remember the advice on the crying.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, And I remember also she was saying, I don't
remember if her husband was a lawyer, but something tells
me that that I am remembering this right. That her
husband was a lawyer and he was very like bully esque,
so she was worried about them just being really harsh
and her kind of just crumbling or some of that pressure.
And we talked about like it's one it's okay to cry,
(20:43):
but all get as much of that out as you can,
like before you go into these conversations. I think I
shared whenever I was going through a breakup one time
but I was still seeing clients, I would cry and
cry and cry, and then I'd say, Okay, you just
have to not cry for one hour and I would
go do my session and then I would say, because
I would tell myself, you get to cry after this,
(21:05):
And so it wasn't this like you can't cry. So
I think We were very much like have your feelings
and then also give yourself a mantra of I can
do this. I'm strong, and if you do cry during it,
like that's not the worst thing that would happen. She
made it through.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
She thought like, how am I going to do this?
And she was able to make it through. And Yeah,
whether he's a lawyer or somebody's a lawyer, we knew
stuff was shady because she said I stood strong against
their antics.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
And normally I would say, like, crying does not make
you weak. No crime to me is showing emotion. It
shows that you care. Obviously I'm somebody who cries a
lot now, but I heard what she was saying of like,
I don't want to give this man any power, and
if if he sees me cry, he's going to see
(21:53):
that as like I can control her kind of vibes.
And so that was very important to her.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And I think the importance of, yeah, keeping your composure
of sorts when you're in a serious setting like that
is important because sometimes when I start crying and then
I can't stop, and now you're delaying a process.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Again, it's not the tears that are bad.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I like that you reminded us of I can cry later,
you're still giving yourself permission to cry. But I get
to cry in one hour. This is going to be
over in thirty minutes. And then I get to cry,
and sometimes you can't control. Yeah, when the tears come.
It's just when you know you're up against bullies and
you're trying to stand your ground and be in your confidence.
(22:37):
Tears whether or not they should set you back depending
on who's in the room.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Well, I can't talk when I'm crying. So that's the
other part of if I want to be able to
get my point across or say whatever, it is, Like,
you're right, I can't stop. And then I also there's
some people that can cry and talk and I just
nothing comes out. Yeah, so I'm glad that was such
a good update.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
And I love that she was.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Like I listened back several times to remind myself that
is okay. I never thought about someone when we're answering
their question directly, that they may want to come back
and listen to it multiple times.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
And that warms my heart. Yeah, that also makes me
a little nervous.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That gives anxiety.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I'm like, woe, And again, this is that's why we
have the disclaimer on that's the start of these episodes
is we don't know every detail, so it's hard to
really speak specifically and give advice that who knows. We
have to question like A hope this doesn't backfire on them,
or I hope this is a good fit for them,
(23:41):
And it sounds like this was a good fit for you,
and just overall could be a good fit for anybody
that has to be in a situation where they're feeling emotional. Now,
if you're seven months pregnant like Cat, good luck. Now,
(24:02):
if you're seven months pregnant like Cat, good luck.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, you cried today. I haven't cried the last two
episode episodes, just so you know, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
What do you think it was? Or what's up?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh? Has there been anything sad?
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Does there have to be?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
You've been like I was with you, like you would
cry at the simplest little thing, even if you just
saw something sweet, like I.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Feel like, oh my gosh, it's a butterfly.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Would land on me right now, you'd be like I
bawled my eyes out this morning. That's why I probably
didn't cry today.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Okay, what happened? Retelling it. You're probably gonna cry. Oh
she's alrighty Okay, here it comes.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
You don't have to apologize.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
She does have tears.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I was watching see I can't talk when I cry.
I was watching Love Is Blind UK to the altar. Okay,
I was on the treadmill like panting, like I was
out of bread. And there is a couple that I
(25:12):
don't even remember much of this couple, like I don't
have like an affiliation with this couple. But this is
after the altar is like, this is their lives post
they got married and whatever, and they were pregnant, and
they showed her. They showed her in the hospital and
having the baby, and her husband was with them with
(25:33):
her obviously, and it was just showed her through like
all the stages of labor. And she went in normal.
I think she went in getting induced, planning to get induced.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
She showed her husband like holding her, and then she
ended up having to have an emergency C section.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
And this is the videos. These videos have gotten me before,
like on TikTok when they show the mom's like getting
to hold baby for the first time or the dad's
getting to hold a baby, and they she had her
seat section they put the baby on her chest, and
she was like, she said, she said, hi, baby, We've
been waiting to meet you, and I just.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Like lost, Oh, I can't wait to hold your baby.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
I mean, you're gonna do it first.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I just was like, Oh, that's what we, me and
Patrick have been talking about. It is like I just
can't wait to meet her because she's in there. And
like I also was talking about like last night, I
was like, I feel so sad for her. Obviously I
want her to be born, but like that's gonna be
so scary for her to be born and just de
pick in the world. And then like when when they
(26:48):
put her on your chest, that is like comforting to
her obviously because that's familiar to her. And so I think,
just we had that conversation last night, and then watching
her go through all those moments of labor, which labor
is scary to me, and then seeing her hold baby,
I just I was like, if I was a gal
who takes pictures of myself crying, that would have been
(27:10):
a good moment to take one because I was losing it.
But I don't do that anyway. I'm fine, Everything's fine. See,
I can just love that.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
It started off with that was watching Love Island UK best.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Of what was it? Okay after the altar, I okay,
I have to say I need a UK.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
After the altar, I need to clear my name, okay,
because I know it one on one episode you mentioned
that I like watching Love Island and I, after this season,
need to clear that up.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
I've watched one season of it. I tried to watch
because what I like about it is it's every day
so it's a lot of content, so there's always something
you can throw on. That is not my type of show.
I just want people to know that. Feel like I
need to share that it is this season. I think
I watched three episodes and I had to be out.
(28:07):
It's a low and there's no shade. If you like it.
If you like it, good for you. I just I
could not. There's a lot of physical intimacy and they
all have mics on and you can like hear oh it,
that's feedback for the show. Maybe turn the volume down
when people are kissing.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I don't watch and you don't know that. Yeah you
have never seen that. Anyway, I'm fine, everything's fine, and
I've gotten my second cry for the day. There you go.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
If you want to send us an email or an update,
we love those.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
You can hit us up.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast dot com.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
You can also call us.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
We didn't play any voicemails this episode, but not because
we don't have some.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
There actually are some.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Good we'll have to get to, but we don't have
Shannon here today, and just suck.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Like wait what that gives us same energy as like
I'm going solo to the prom not because nobody asked me,
because I want to go by myself, Like nobody asked you,
Like like, not because we don't have any.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Oh no, I saw some good voicemails and our voicemail folder.
But then Shannon isn't here today and she helps play
the voicemail.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
It's like a whole thing and.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Just you know, people call it.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
It just made us. It made me nervous to like
take that on without her here, so we had well,
I was like, well, we'll just do emails. But I
love reminding people that we have voicemails, so they'll call.
And I think when they hear other people call and
the voicemails, they're like, oh, if they're calling and leaving
a voicemail, I'll call and leave because we get it.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
It's like weird, It's not weird.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
It's maybe uncomfortable for some of you or outside of
your comfort zone to call a show.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Well then to know it's different for somebody to play
my voice on their show versus reading my EMAI.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Yeah, or call us and leave us a message.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
But like Kat and I want, we've we're working to
create this type of community where y'all calling us is
not a big deal and just like leaving your friend
a voice text and then we play it.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
And people do it all the time. Yes, Oh, we
have so many voice.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
That did sound that way.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Well, I only said that because I was reading some
of the listener voicemails that are because we have the transcripts,
and I guess I could read them, but then just
get the same effect, So I want to save them. Okay, okay, okay,
That's what I'm meant. Sorry if that sounded lame, I
am lame, I am I am lame. Anyway, The phone
number is eight seven seven two oh seven, two oh
(30:43):
seven seven.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Call it like everybody else and email us.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
And our Instagram is feeling Things, podcast, YouTube, TikTok, TikTok,
follow us, like and subscribe, Like and subscribe.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
Okay, and most importantly, half the day you need to have.
Bye bye
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Mhm.
While we hope couch Talks can be a tool that
helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks
does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy
or any mental health services.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Good break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
If you ever have feelings that you just fallsome, Amy
and Cat got you covin locking, No, brother, ladies and felons,
do you just follow an the spirit where it's ounds
phone or real stuff to the chill stuff and the
m but sway. Sometimes the best thing you can do
it just stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things
(00:38):
with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q and a
episode to the Feeling Things podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I'm Amy and I'm Cat and Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Apparently women cannot focus on a conversation if they feel their.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Outfit is just okay, I feel that.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Wait, your outfit is so cute today?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Well you just feel that today? No, I feel that
in general, like, oh yeah, I do too. If you
don't like your outfit, then it affects your experience.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Apparently, feeling confident in an outfit can affect more than
just your appearance. A study showed that many women said
they find it harder to fully focus on a conversation
when they feel just okay about what they're wearing. And
this was like women only guys didn't have this problem.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh that's interesting. Well, I was going to add to that.
What affects me sometimes even more than if I like
my outfit, is if I'm comfortable in my outfit, because
sometimes I like my outfit, But if I'm constantly like,
am I boob showing? Or is this whatever? Is this
too short? Like if I'm worried about any part of it.
If I'm not super comfortable, That's what affects me. So
(01:44):
I'm feeling great because I'm full coverage baggy outfit.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Right?
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Is this little onesie outfit from or what's it called?
Like a jumper?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
A jumper? This is Free People And I bought it
when I first found out I was pregnant because I
was like, oh that I could wear that throughout my pregnancy,
so cute whatever, But you know how Free People off
is so long and I'm short, so it was like
five inches too long, and then I was too I
don't want to say lazy. I hate taking things to
(02:11):
get them altered. I it's just a task that I dread,
so I didn't do it, and then I just had
the thought to try it on the other day. And
because my stomach protrudes, I no longer have to get
it hemmed.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Oh perfect, Yeah, so pulled it on up.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
All right, we got our first email. This is from Carissa, Hey,
Amy and Kat. I'm thirty seven, I live in Texas
and I'm a mom of a ten year old girl,
and last Thursday was my four year stab aversary, on
the same day your forced Forgiveness episode came out.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Well, this is us talking here.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
When I first read that stab aversary and then I
read the rest of the email and I got it.
But yes, you heard me correctly, stab aversary meaning she
got stabbed, say anniversary of her years ago, and then
she listened to our podcasts. Happened to be that day
force forgiveness, which we weren't saying you should force forgive anything,
(03:10):
by the way, It was just a Kat explaining what
force forgiveness is. Backstory, I work in retail and a
male associate attacked me with a box cutter, stabbing me
four times.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Thankfully I was mostly okay.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I can now talk about it with no anxiety and
even laugh at some of the facts, like when I screamed,
the other manager who was in the back thought I
was screaming because of a bug. Now back to the
Force Forgiveness episode that was the last piece.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Of my healing journey. I don't wish him any harm.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
In fact, in my victim's statement, I even told him
that I hoped that he would get the help he needed.
I have compassion for him in the sense that he
didn't have the tools to silence his demons, and I
have slowly learned to forgive him, while it took a
lot of work to get here. Some family and friends
don't understand my feelings. I hated him for the first
(04:04):
two years as I continued therapy and worked through triggers
that I realized that doesn't do me any.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Good to hate him.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Instead, I do hope that he's okay and he's gotten help.
The Bobby Bone Show got me through my darkest days,
and once I found this podcast, I was hooked. I
feel like I'm part of the conversation, laughing and crying
with you all.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Thanks for all you do.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Also, congrats to Kat on your pregnancy and Amy.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I've loved seeing your glow up.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Chris ab PS, if you end up reading this, you
can use my name. I just saw the PS part
and I was like, I thought you quick glance. It
was like, PS, if you read this, don't use my name.
And I said it at the very beginning.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Ah, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, working in retail is scary. Have you done? Have
you worked in retail?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I mean, I know you worked at the limited too.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Was of your frame and I had a scary encounter,
like nobody stabbed me, but working at the mall and
there's all kinds of.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
But this was a fellow associate. Oh it wasn't a customer.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Oh I'm missing, she.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Said, a male associate attacked me with a box cutter.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So when you're I assumed they're back in the back
cutting open boxes.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
That's why he had the box cutter.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
She said. Her boss was in the back, so she
was how it happen on the floor.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Well, I think, well whatever, it doesn't matter. That's the detail.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
She still got sacked and her manager thought she was
screaming because of a bug.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh okay, well that's even scarier. I know.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
But to the forgiveness part in her her family and
friends not understanding how she's able to do it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Do you have any thoughts, Well, I understand. I get that, Like,
it's okay for other people to have their defensive of
you and protective of you and so, like they have
all those feelings for you, so it makes sense that
you would be able to move on friendly than them
because that's what you needed. And I think that's okay.
(06:05):
I think it's okay for people to be confused by that.
You don't need to always have everybody understand everything for
it to feel right. You don't need to always have
everybody understand everything for it to feel right.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Definitely not.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
This is totally totally different, But it's making me think
of some parenting things that I had to do along
with my ex husband, like choices we had to make
and how we parent our adopted children that have a
different life experience than other kids. And there were some
people directly in our lives, family and friends, that were
questioning some of our methods which were good for us
(06:52):
and given to us by therapists, and they were questioning
it and we had to say, like, well, this is
what works for us, and your thoughts on this are
just not gonna matter. But I knew they were coming
from a place of love and care. They just wanted
us to do it differently. But it's it's the way
different but same of like, yeah, it's sweet that you care,
(07:14):
and this is what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And it's also the way people share that they disagree,
Like if somebody says to you, well, you shouldn't have
forgiven them, like something's wrong with you. If you can
forgive that person or something along those lines, that's a
little different than like, I'm happy that you're able to
forgive that person. I don't know that I can never
do that for you. You see how that's different because
(07:38):
that can just sound like judgmental and for you and
in your circumstances, it's one thing of somebody is like, oh,
that's interesting that I I'm a little confused by this
in some way versus you're doing it wrong or you
shouldn't do that, or you're gonna make a big mistake.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Why Why is saying yeah, yeah, I'm glad you found
tools though, or hope for you to work for you.
That's not how we do with our kids, and I'm
curious to see how this works out.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, yeah, why is one word I've shared this with
you before that they kind of try to knock out
of you when you are training to become a therapist
because it is so it can make somebody feel very
defensive and it's very accusatory. So when I say why
did you do that? Feels different than like I'm curious
about that decision. You're still kind of asking the same thing,
(08:27):
but I'm curious of how you got there, or I'm
curious how that's going to work for you, or something
like that feels like I'm interested, I'm curious versus why.
It just feels like I have to defend myself.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Then well, Chris, I'm really sorry that that happened to you,
and I'm thankful that you've found the tools.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
That are helping you.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Kat what happened to you at Limited too with a
weird customer.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
So thank you for asking I it was like night,
it was almost close time. And you can tell when
somebody's shoplifting because they usually have it or back then
there wasn't like security cameras and stuff or anything like that.
Security was just different in general. Back then, you can
tell in somebody's shoplifting they have big bags. Sometimes they're
(09:11):
lined with a little foil, so the sensors don't go off.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well, we saw these two people that were clearly stealing stuff,
and you're not supposed to say anything, Like you're not
supposed to directly say anything to them if I was
supposed to go to a manager. And then what you
do is you just follow them around and you just
make them feel like you're being extra customer servicey, but
you don't ever say like, I saw you put in
that in your back. Well, we were at the front
(09:38):
of the stoor and this lady literally took something and
put it in her bag right in front of me.
These were professional shoplifters. They knew the rules, they knew
and so I said to my manager. I was like,
her name was Heather, and I was like, Heather, she
just put something in her bag. And this woman got
in my face and said something. I think she called
(09:59):
me baby. She did call me baby. She was like baby,
reached her hand down into her shirt, pulled out a
lot of cash and threw it on the table and
she goes, I don't need to steal anything, and I
just was like, and she picked up all of her money,
walked out, and of course the censor the alarm went off.
But she didn't heed him money. She didn't leave the money.
(10:21):
She was showing me that she has all this money.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I'm glad else she was grabbing this money. I thought
you were gonna say she reached into her shirt and
pulled out a gun.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah, well she could have. And that I learned a
huge lesson because obviously I'm like, she's doing something wrong.
She has to be stopped, and they are like, this
merchandise is not worth you getting hurt. So if they
steal stuff, it is frustrating. This This to me is
like justice. I'm like, they shouldn't be allowed to just
(10:48):
get away with it. But there it is not worth it.
They could steal one thousand dollars worth of stuff, which
at limited two back then honestly was easy to do
because their stuff was so expensive for kids. But we
don't want you to put yourself in danger. And I
was like thank you, and then they're like, don't ever
do that again. I was like, got it, got it.
(11:08):
So I never did nice and she had a lot
of free stuff, So I guess I think.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Overall blanket lost for lost prevention type yeah, rolls or
just let them go right.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
They made me watch a couple of extra loss prevention
videos after that.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Like universally, it's like, yeah, we don't want to be
held responsible for you losing your life over a tank top.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Right, well, and then I think you could like call
the mall security, but they're also not going to do
that much either, so there was no box cutter situation
though like that. I'm grateful that that's all that happened.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Hey, I've been seeing this man for about one point
five months now.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
He is great. Would you say one and a half
or one point five?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I'd say one and a half.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I know, but they wrote at one point five and
I would write it that way too, but then I
would verbalize.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
It one and a half. So I don't know why
I just did that.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
One point five months now, he is great. He tells
me how beautiful I am. He treats me well, and
I like spending time with him. He's much older than me,
about eighteen years. I do not feel physically attracted to him,
and I was hoping that eventually that might come around.
But I don't know if it's fair for me to
continue a relationship without a physical connection. I guess my
(12:30):
question is is it bad for me to continue to
see him and spend time with him knowing that the
physical spark is not there.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
That's first part.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Next advice I would love is what and where to
visit while I'm in Nashville in October. I know about
the normal tourist spots, but are there any cool spots
that regulars hang out in or go to that rock,
whether it's a bar, restaurant, or landmark? Thank you in advance.
Fifty year old single woman from Colorado. Wow, she found
(13:01):
herself a sixty eight year old.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I did that too, but I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Like, if I were to date somebody eighteen years older
than me, like I'm at getting to the point where
you am, he would be.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
In his sixties.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
And I used to think I couldn't see myself dating
someone in their fifties, but now I easily could, and I.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Do and I have and I did and I did.
But see, this doesn't sound that weird to me.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
But I get the whole physical attraction part. I think
that that's an important piece.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So if her question is she knows it's not going
to grow, because she mentioned like I thought it was
going to grow, I fully believe that the more you
get to know somebody. This is true. I believe this,
and this has been proven. People change, like the way
they look, the way you see them changes, and so
(13:49):
if you get to know somebody and you really really
really are into them emotionally, then they will become more
attractive to you. But if she's she feels like she's
given that enough time, then my question would be like,
what is she doing. Is she waiting for that to
grow or she just like enjoys him enough so and
(14:10):
she's not that serious about it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I mean, she could maybe give him a little more time,
but I think she likes the other things that he offers,
which relationships. Remember, it's like you can't expect your partner
to fill every single thing in your life, but physical
part is partner part.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
You can't get that physical.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
From anybody else if you're in a monogamous relationship. Yeah,
so it's like, you know, if he's not that funny,
it's like, oh, well, you can have your funny friends
and they fill that void.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
But if you don't have.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Physical you can't really be like, hey, friend, can you
feel this physical part for me?
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Like that's just not going to happen.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
So, oh, that's a tough one because if you have,
if you're getting so many other things from him that
feel good and then that one thing is lacking, I
feel like I can kind of speak to that a
little bit. You and I know that there's somebody in
my life where it's kind of like that. Oh, like
there's so many boxes that get checked and then it's
just like the attraction is just not there and it's.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Like, well, dang, but they'll never give it a shot. No, yeah,
because because you know, you know, it's not like she
she didn't know this person before she started dating him,
so she's giving a shot to see if that grows. Right.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So, I but I think that it's old. It's still
only been one point five months. Like she could she
could give it.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
To give it more, I would. I would say I
would give it if you really are enjoying all of
these other things about him, and he feels like a
good person and you can see outside of the physical
attraction a future because of these other traits, I would
at least give it three months. I don't think that's
unfair for you to date him, because we also that's
(15:51):
what dating is is we are getting to know somebody
and see and seeing how feelings develop. It'd be the
same thing if I was like, well, I don't know
if is personality gels exactly with mine. Well, I'm gonna
give it time, and I'm not gonna tell him I
don't really like your personality. I don't know if I
like your personality. I'm not gonna tell him that. I'm
gonna get to know him, just like I don't think
(16:12):
she needs to say I don't know that I'm attracted
to you yet. Give it time, and then if it
doesn't come, then you can make a decision of how
you want to move forward.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, as for Nashville and October, the weather's going to
be great then, So I don't know if y'all like
to hike or get out and about. But there's a
couple of parks you could go to that I love
that are not They're not downtown or anything, so you'd
have to drive out. But Radner Lake is really pretty
to walk around. Or Percy Warner has like beautiful steps,
(16:41):
be a good little photo shoot for your Oh, I
don't know if he's coming with you. You might be coming
with friends. But whoever you're coming with in October, I
feel like being with you might not even Yeah, you
might not even.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Be with him anymore.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
So whatever people you're coming with, if y'all like to
have like an active activity, those are two places like
where you could go and that's where.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
The locals are. I don't know that a lot of
tourists go do that stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I think you could see some really cute pretty birds.
So it's gonna say cute birds, but pretty birds or owls.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I love when I'm hiking Radner and I see a
barred owl. It's like a fun game. Or there's bald eagles.
There's a big, big bald eagle nest at Ratner and
that's cool. Well, she's she's fifty, she may be feeling
me on the birds like I, and she's from Colorado.
She might like outdoors and stuff like that. And then
downtown Franklin.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
That's what I was gonna say. It's so cute if
she wants to venture outside of Nashville, they'll be tourists
in downtown Franklin. But also like I live over there
and I go there to run the errands and shop
and stuff too. Yeah, so you'll get a little of both.
The areas that are like of course people go to
like twelve South and stuff like that. Sometimes that's not
even fun anymore.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Because there's so many people, so crowded.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I tried to run an erran there the other day
and I'm like, nope, this is two prime time. The
tourism starts on about Wednesday afternoon and goes until Sunday.
So now if I need anything from any of those shops,
I go Tuesday at noon.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, it's like my only option. It's a fun place
to go, but I would just be prepared. That is,
you're going to be crowded. It's if you go anywhere
to eat, you better have a reservation.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I love the Henry on twelve South h the in
in October.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
I bet that road top tr Ooh.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Buttermilk Ranch, have you been there? That's in twelve South,
that place. Pro tip, they do not do reservations, but
you can put your name on the list before you
go and then kind of skip the line. So if
you want to go there, if you go on a weekend,
it will be like a three hour wait. So put
your list, your name on the list like three hours
before you want to go. Got it very good though?
Speaker 4 (18:49):
All right?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Next up, we have an update from a listener. She
had written in a couple of months ago, asking how
not to cry in certain situations. She was going back
to court with her husband. Do you recall this person?
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
In case y'all didn't catch that episode, she had to
go to court with her husband, who had an affair
and then he married the woman to figure out stuff
with the kids, and she asked, how how do I
stay strong? How do I not cry when I'm confronted
by them? How do I not cry when I get
scared of them? I'm afraid it will ruin the integrity
(19:25):
of this case. I'm just trying to do it's best
for my kids. So that's some of the backstory. This
is her update. Hey guys, we wrapped this all up
last week. It was several months of going back and forth,
hopefully avoiding court, which we did.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Phew.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
I cried a few times in private, but I stood
so strong against their antics. I wasn't backing down because
I know what these kids and myself deserve. Everything happened
as it should, and past agreements were fixed and reimbursements
and new agreements are in effect. Thanks for the advice.
(20:04):
I listened back several times to remind myself that it
is okay, I'm okay and it will all work out,
which Kat in case people hadn't heard that when it
came to her crying and being strong and knowing she's
capable and she's able to do that.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
Do you remember the advice on the crying.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, And I remember also she was saying, I don't
remember if her husband was a lawyer, but something tells
me that that I am remembering this right. That her
husband was a lawyer and he was very like bully esque,
so she was worried about them just being really harsh
and her kind of just crumbling or some of that pressure.
And we talked about like it's one it's okay to cry,
(20:43):
but all get as much of that out as you can,
like before you go into these conversations. I think I
shared whenever I was going through a breakup one time
but I was still seeing clients, I would cry and
cry and cry, and then I'd say, Okay, you just
have to not cry for one hour and I would
go do my session and then I would say, because
I would tell myself, you get to cry after this,
(21:05):
And so it wasn't this like you can't cry. So
I think We were very much like have your feelings
and then also give yourself a mantra of I can
do this. I'm strong, and if you do cry during it,
like that's not the worst thing that would happen. She
made it through.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
She thought like, how am I going to do this?
And she was able to make it through. And Yeah,
whether he's a lawyer or somebody's a lawyer, we knew
stuff was shady because she said I stood strong against
their antics.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
And normally I would say, like, crying does not make
you weak. No crime to me is showing emotion. It
shows that you care. Obviously I'm somebody who cries a
lot now, but I heard what she was saying of like,
I don't want to give this man any power, and
if if he sees me cry, he's going to see
(21:53):
that as like I can control her kind of vibes.
And so that was very important to her.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And I think the importance of, yeah, keeping your composure
of sorts when you're in a serious setting like that
is important because sometimes when I start crying and then
I can't stop, and now you're delaying a process.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Again, it's not the tears that are bad.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I like that you reminded us of I can cry later,
you're still giving yourself permission to cry. But I get
to cry in one hour. This is going to be
over in thirty minutes. And then I get to cry,
and sometimes you can't control. Yeah, when the tears come.
It's just when you know you're up against bullies and
you're trying to stand your ground and be in your confidence.
(22:37):
Tears whether or not they should set you back depending
on who's in the room.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Well, I can't talk when I'm crying. So that's the
other part of if I want to be able to
get my point across or say whatever, it is, Like,
you're right, I can't stop. And then I also there's
some people that can cry and talk and I just
nothing comes out. Yeah, so I'm glad that was such
a good update.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
And I love that she was.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Like I listened back several times to remind myself that
is okay. I never thought about someone when we're answering
their question directly, that they may want to come back
and listen to it multiple times.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
And that warms my heart. Yeah, that also makes me
a little nervous.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That gives anxiety.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I'm like, woe, And again, this is that's why we
have the disclaimer on that's the start of these episodes
is we don't know every detail, so it's hard to
really speak specifically and give advice that who knows. We
have to question like A hope this doesn't backfire on them,
or I hope this is a good fit for them,
(23:41):
And it sounds like this was a good fit for you,
and just overall could be a good fit for anybody
that has to be in a situation where they're feeling emotional. Now,
if you're seven months pregnant like Cat, good luck. Now,
(24:02):
if you're seven months pregnant like Cat, good luck.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, you cried today. I haven't cried the last two
episode episodes, just so you know, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
What do you think it was? Or what's up?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh? Has there been anything sad?
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Does there have to be?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
You've been like I was with you, like you would
cry at the simplest little thing, even if you just
saw something sweet, like I.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Feel like, oh my gosh, it's a butterfly.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Would land on me right now, you'd be like I
bawled my eyes out this morning. That's why I probably
didn't cry today.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Okay, what happened? Retelling it. You're probably gonna cry. Oh
she's alrighty Okay, here it comes.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
You don't have to apologize.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
She does have tears.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I was watching see I can't talk when I cry.
I was watching Love Is Blind UK to the altar. Okay,
I was on the treadmill like panting, like I was
out of bread. And there is a couple that I
(25:12):
don't even remember much of this couple, like I don't
have like an affiliation with this couple. But this is
after the altar is like, this is their lives post
they got married and whatever, and they were pregnant, and
they showed her. They showed her in the hospital and
having the baby, and her husband was with them with
(25:33):
her obviously, and it was just showed her through like
all the stages of labor. And she went in normal.
I think she went in getting induced, planning to get induced.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
She showed her husband like holding her, and then she
ended up having to have an emergency C section.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
And this is the videos. These videos have gotten me before,
like on TikTok when they show the mom's like getting
to hold baby for the first time or the dad's
getting to hold a baby, and they she had her
seat section they put the baby on her chest, and
she was like, she said, she said, hi, baby, We've
been waiting to meet you, and I just.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Like lost, Oh, I can't wait to hold your baby.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
I mean, you're gonna do it first.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I just was like, Oh, that's what we, me and
Patrick have been talking about. It is like I just
can't wait to meet her because she's in there. And
like I also was talking about like last night, I
was like, I feel so sad for her. Obviously I
want her to be born, but like that's gonna be
so scary for her to be born and just de
pick in the world. And then like when when they
(26:48):
put her on your chest, that is like comforting to
her obviously because that's familiar to her. And so I think,
just we had that conversation last night, and then watching
her go through all those moments of labor, which labor
is scary to me, and then seeing her hold baby,
I just I was like, if I was a gal
who takes pictures of myself crying, that would have been
(27:10):
a good moment to take one because I was losing it.
But I don't do that anyway. I'm fine, Everything's fine. See,
I can just love that.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
It started off with that was watching Love Island UK best.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Of what was it? Okay after the altar, I okay,
I have to say I need a UK.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
After the altar, I need to clear my name, okay,
because I know it one on one episode you mentioned
that I like watching Love Island and I, after this season,
need to clear that up.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
I've watched one season of it. I tried to watch
because what I like about it is it's every day
so it's a lot of content, so there's always something
you can throw on. That is not my type of show.
I just want people to know that. Feel like I
need to share that it is this season. I think
I watched three episodes and I had to be out.
(28:07):
It's a low and there's no shade. If you like it.
If you like it, good for you. I just I
could not. There's a lot of physical intimacy and they
all have mics on and you can like hear oh it,
that's feedback for the show. Maybe turn the volume down
when people are kissing.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I don't watch and you don't know that. Yeah you
have never seen that. Anyway, I'm fine, everything's fine, and
I've gotten my second cry for the day. There you go.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
If you want to send us an email or an update,
we love those.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
You can hit us up.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast dot com.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
You can also call us.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
We didn't play any voicemails this episode, but not because
we don't have some.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
There actually are some.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Good we'll have to get to, but we don't have
Shannon here today, and just suck.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Like wait what that gives us same energy as like
I'm going solo to the prom not because nobody asked me,
because I want to go by myself, Like nobody asked you,
Like like, not because we don't have any.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Oh no, I saw some good voicemails and our voicemail folder.
But then Shannon isn't here today and she helps play
the voicemail.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
It's like a whole thing and.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Just you know, people call it.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
It just made us. It made me nervous to like
take that on without her here, so we had well,
I was like, well, we'll just do emails. But I
love reminding people that we have voicemails, so they'll call.
And I think when they hear other people call and
the voicemails, they're like, oh, if they're calling and leaving
a voicemail, I'll call and leave because we get it.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
It's like weird, It's not weird.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
It's maybe uncomfortable for some of you or outside of
your comfort zone to call a show.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Well then to know it's different for somebody to play
my voice on their show versus reading my EMAI.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Yeah, or call us and leave us a message.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
But like Kat and I want, we've we're working to
create this type of community where y'all calling us is
not a big deal and just like leaving your friend
a voice text and then we play it.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
And people do it all the time. Yes, Oh, we
have so many voice.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
That did sound that way.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Well, I only said that because I was reading some
of the listener voicemails that are because we have the transcripts,
and I guess I could read them, but then just
get the same effect, So I want to save them. Okay, okay, okay,
That's what I'm meant. Sorry if that sounded lame, I
am lame, I am I am lame. Anyway, The phone
number is eight seven seven two oh seven, two oh
(30:43):
seven seven.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Call it like everybody else and email us.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
And our Instagram is feeling Things, podcast, YouTube, TikTok, TikTok,
follow us, like and subscribe, Like and subscribe.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
Okay, and most importantly, half the day you need to have.
Bye bye
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Mhm.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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