January 20, 2026 • 52 mins
Feeling of the day: Relieved (from Kat!) and Amy’s asking the question: does the process know that we are trusting it? They share 3 ways that will help you “trust the process” when things seem overwhelming. This isn’t about blind optimism or pretending things are fine. It’s about staying in motion, borrowing hope when yours runs low, and taking the next right step even when clarity hasn’t arrived yet. Plus, a listener email that clears up an Emily Henry book question Amy had last week and also shares other authors & books we might like.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just wons maybe
a cat gotcha Cob and locking m brother Lady's folks,
do you just follow an the spirit where it tell
us the phn real stuff to the chill stuff and
the m but swaying. Sometimes the best thing you can
do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
With Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
I'm Cat and I'm starting with the feeling of the
day because I'm feeling so relieve right now.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Tell us more.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
And this has a lot to do with you. Has
everything to do with you, really, because a weight has
been lifted off of my chest and I think this
there's probably something deeper going on that I probably should
work through with my own therapist. But yesterday you sent
me a text that said something to discuss with you
(01:01):
tomorrow when you come over or maybe a dinner conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Oh okay, okay, yes, now I know what you're talking
about it and you don't like messages like.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
That, so you sent me that, and I think I
was trying to be cool because you've done this before.
I don't know if you've noticed this, but like you've
done this before where you said, like I.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Want to talk about X, and I'm like, oh, oh,
let's talk about it. But it's in your head.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It's probably not that big of a deal, but like,
I don't know what you're going to say about it,
so I need to know.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
So I was trying to practice like coolness and calmness
and trust and all the things. So I just was
like okay.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
And then later I think I said, so, what do
you need to oh, because then later you sent me
something else and I said, oh, is.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
That what you needed to discuss? And you were like no, no,
And I was like, okay, well you're giving me anxiety?
What is it? And you didn't answer me. You left
me like you re let me hanging.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
And I was like, shoot, oh, I had a busy
phone call dayesterday, which I'm sorry about that, but now
I know why you're feeling. Is your feeling of the
day is you're probably feeling relief, right, it's relieved.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Do I not even say what my feeling?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I don't know if you did. I only know because
I read relieved, but I didn't know what you were
relieved about. Okay, you said it. Now I was getting
nervous that like what I had done to you because
I was like, wait a second, what did I do?
But now I know you're relieved because I finally told
you what it was and you realize it's not that
big of bod deal.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yes, but listen to the text that I sent you,
and this is just like to me, it reminds me
of my mom will send a text and be like
call me, and I'm like, who in our family has died?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Or who had a heart attack? Because why wouldn't you
just text me something? Or why can't you call me?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
You know, it's like I can't sit there and then
like go have a session with a client, like I
need to know.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So like share with this worst case scenario what you
thought I needed to talk to you about.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Well, I'm trying to find Oh you said I have
something to run by you. Oh how a dinner combo
tomorrow or tomorrow I will see you or tomorrow when
I see you when we record. I don't know what
it was, but I was thinking like it either could
be like something really exciting or it's like we need
to talk about something. But then when you said dinner,
I was like, Okay, well, like, it can't be anything
(03:19):
too personal or bad.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Like I was thinking, you know, is a scenario, Oh
is something not going well with the podcast?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yes, that was part my initial but then I was like, no, Catherine, like,
it can't be that because that's not dinner Kravo.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
She would like have a conversation with you about that.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
You talk to yourself full name when you talk to yourself, Yes, Catherine, Catherine,
Elizabeth Brittany.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yes, Yath and Mary Francis, Sally Brittany, Defauda dan Buren.
So then I said, what are you wanting to discuss?
This is giving me anxiety? And you just go on
talking about whatever else?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
You didn't. You just didn't.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I think you didn't probably see that because we were
talking about something else at the same time, and I
think you were on the phone and then and then
you and then you're talking to me about something else
and I go, okay, is this what you we have
to talk about?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And you just go no, lol, yeah, because I'm like,
why would I make a big deal to talk about that,
which I wasn't trying to make a big deal. First
of all, Well.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
You didn't, I did, okay, thank you?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I was, I do this a lot where I try
to just make little notes so I don't forget. So
I feel like if I tell you, we won't forget.
But now I know if I tell you, I'm sending
you into panic mode and you're going worst case scenario
and you're like, I need to know, don't do this
to me. So I'll work on that. But I'll even
text myself or email myself little notes of like, you know,
just so I don't forget. So that that was my
(04:47):
way of saying, hey, I want to talk to you
about something, but not right now, okay.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
But if your boyfriend sent you a text and was like,
I know we're not dating, but like if your boyfriends
sitting in a text was like I have something I
need to talk to you about tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
What do you My boyfriend's studis to you? What and
my boyfriend's studis to you?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Just like that's like the typical, like, hey, we need
to talk, so maybe we need another thing for this,
like hey, I need to talk to you about something NBD,
no big deal, oh MBD, because in your head again,
it wasn't a big deal. So when I keep asking
you about it, you didn't respond.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
To be fair, what I ended up sharing with you
was sort of a big deal, but not in like
a big deal like you need to know about it,
but it was ehind okay, everything was okay. It was special.
I wanted to share with you a revelation I had
in therapy and you, being a therapist. I thought you
would appreciate it because my therapist helped me work through
something and I'm like, I felt so much better after
(05:45):
my session that I wouldn't let you know that. After
clients have sessions with you, there's probably so many times
where they're walking out of your office and they're like,
I feel so much better. And I wanted to share
with you what a joy it is to have a
job like bad where you're like really helping people.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, which was actually so sweet.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
That's but no, we're like, oh, I'm relieved. You were
just wanting to sort of compliment me, and I do
see how though I caused some That's why I thought
it would be okay to talk about at dinner, because
I would like it would have been if we were
with you know, my boyfriend and your husband and we're
out to eat and I were to say, like, you know, Kat,
(06:26):
just thinking about your line of work and what you
get to do every day. I just wanted you to
know you're making an impact because I'm sure my therapist
probably just hung up from our video call and was like, Okay, yeah,
did my job today, but like no, really, she like
did her job. She showed up and to her it
was just she's doing what she's trained to do. But
for me, it was big. So I wanted you to
(06:47):
know that. So you are feeling relieved that we're not
ending the podcast.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yeah, or like anything bad.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
So instead of NBD, why don't we say ETO, Everything's okay.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, I'm gonna send them all, gonna be the ETO
MVD all good. Everything is fine, But I like talk
about this later but not like a big deal. Later
is just sort of which is something that I want
to talk to you about but I don't want to forget.
But a hunt IP talk about right now.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I think that this is probably more something I need
to work on. It's like I'm jumping to like conclusions.
Why am I still on edge? Yeah, Like I that
there could have been so many scenarios my brain made up,
but I made up this like worst case scenarios.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I saw so many memes that were very fitting to
my therapy appointment yesterday. I guess once one popped up
in my algorithm like other videos were popping up of Like,
you know, trust the process is a common saying. I
feel like I been saying it a lot lately myself.
Trust the process, Trust the process. And have you seen
(07:51):
the memes where it's like does the process? No, we
are trusting it, And to me it's so funny and yeah,
it's like, hello, I am trusting you process.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Why aren't you being so crazy?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Are you aware?
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Because you're acting like you don't know that we're over
here trying to trust you.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Did you talk about that in your therapy session the
meme and talk about the meme?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
But when I left therapy, though, I felt like the
process like heard me a little bit and I was like, okay,
so you in the process are working. Process showed up,
showed up with a little bit, and then I showed
some trust. Something that my therapist did say to me,
like point blank is like Amy, a lot of times
you're talking to me and you you start off one
(08:37):
way and sound very fearful, like I have a lot
of fear, but then I work my way through it.
And I eventually get to the proper part that has
more wisdom than fear, and like there's a little clarity
there and it shows like I'm capable. And she's like,
do you realize you do that and you get there
(08:58):
and I'm like, so, she's like, if you would just
pause and take a beet, you probably could get there.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
You know, they call yeah, they call that, and maybe
this is not exactly what you're talking about, but you've
heard the phrase play the tape through.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
No I have not, Oh so tell me.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
So that's a lot of times, specifically in recovery, but
like any type of process in therapy, we can use this.
But if somebody is worried about something, or if somebody
is wanting to do something that they don't know is
like it might be a little risky, We'll say play
the tape all the way through. And so if you
play the for example, if it's somebody's working through recovery
(09:34):
and they're like, I really want to go to this party,
but I know there will be a lot of alcohol,
they're so like, I don't know, like should I go,
But like also like I really want to go because
my friends are going to be there, and I don't
want to miss out on something. We'll say like, well,
let's play the tape through. What would what are the
steps that are going to happen? So we'll play the
tape through and probably get to the point where like,
I'm not that I'm still really early in recovery. I
(09:55):
haven't been tempted a lot. I'm gonna go to this party.
People don't know that I'm in recovery, so they're gonna
be off offering me alcohol. I'm gonna want to feel cool. Dad,
I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna have to start on day
one again kind of thing. Or who knows what's gonna happen,
or for you, it's like, okay, you start here with
all this fear. Once you play the tape all the
way through, you're like, oh, I got this, Okay, how
(10:17):
do I And that allows you to pause and then
how do I play the tape through and then make
a decision.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
With all the information?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Let me ask you this, okay, Catherine, Yes, next time
you get a text message from somebody that's like, hey,
I need to talk to you about something, maybe you
could play the tape through.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Are you sitting there just thinking and waiting to see me.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I'm like, hm, cat should play the tape through.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I should play the tape here?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Should you see?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
That is why therapist needs to go to therapy, because like,
we have our own stuff and it's easy to dish
it out, but sometimes we need to be able to
sit and hear it.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah. Well, I also kept wanting to go like big
picture though too. I understand like playing the tape through
just for the moment, but like I want to play
the tape through and it be accurate, like I want
to know what's happening. And then she brought me back
to like, let's stop focusing on what the next six
months look like and let's focus on what the next
day looks like. Like break it down into bite sized pieces.
(11:17):
So that's a little nugget for if you're feeling like
you're trying to trust the process, but you're like does
the process know? Then start to take it down to
bite size, which makes me think of the proverb or question.
I think it's a proverb. Is it a proverb?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
I don't know if you've wrout that.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
How do you mean an elephant one by a time?
That's right, because an elephant as a whole is very overwhelming,
but if you break it down and eat it one
bit at a time, you'll get there.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Eventually that's the next right thing.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
The next right thing. So like, what's the next right
thing I can do today or this minute? Like depending
on how micro you need to go right, yeah, because
it might be you could look at it it's a
week if you want, because maybe you've got overwhelmed by
the month of the year. So for you, maybe you
go down to the week, but some people might need
to go down to like the minute.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, I was gonna say hour, but minute also works.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
And that's okay. Some tips that she walked me through
and like getting there were like sometimes even just giving
yourself little task to do to show you that you
can do it, Like what's something you've been putting off?
Because there is one thing that I discussed in therapy
that I have been putting off and she was challenging
like why, And then she was like, could you practice
(12:34):
doing little things that you're putting off, like that could
build up to that that you're exercising that muscle, because
like every time you read, you're giving your brain a
little gift. Well, every time you do a little thing
that you've been putting off. You're giving your brain a
gift that makes the bigger thing.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Well, it also teaches you that you can do things.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, so like, is there an email you've been putting
off and it's really not that big of a deal, Like,
but you know you need to send the email. Sit
down and get out your computer and make yourself send
that email. And then you're like, all right, I sent
an eave sent an email, yeah or whatever that next, right,
story you can do. So she was showing me and
then she also brought up a little bit of stuff
(13:13):
you've talked about before about the data and the story,
like we've got the facts and we've got the stories.
And she's like, also, what I want you to notice
when you're doing my When I was playing the tape
back and I was getting there, She's like, you're showing
you're capable. And then also, look at your life. You
have this fear about something. Sure it's coming up from
(13:36):
childhood or this and that, but you look at you
look at your life where you are, you pay bills like,
you have a drop, like you have children, you have
a home, you have a car, Like you're capable. I
am capable. Yeah, like these things that like just freak
me out. And she's like, so even when I got
(13:58):
home from work today we were going to record, I
was doing the Bobby Bone show at studio and I
got home for today and I was pulling it through
my house and I was like, this is my house,
Like I bought this, and I was like, granted, it
took a real litter and he knew what she was
doing and you know.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah, but you and you decorated it.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
And the lone people that knew She's like, but you
need And then that showed me like, thank you Lord
for the experts along the way that helped guide me,
like I didn't have to do it alone, but yeah,
also I did it. Yeah, And I need to remember
that because I guess my big story that pops up
a lot no matter what area is that I'm not capable.
(14:37):
So and I feel like there's times where I've overcome
it and then it will rear it's ugly little hey.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Well, I think also that what's coming up for me
is when it comes to being capable, we can get
lost in the all or nothing of that. Because how
you were saying, like this is my house, I bought
this house and they're like, well I needed a realtor.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Well yeah, but doesn't mean you weren't capable.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
And I think I do this too, where I'm like,
I it can be really hard on myself for not
knowing how to do something and then therefore putting it
off because it's overwhelming or needing extra help with something.
And you know, I love to do things on my own, like,
no matter what it is, whether it's a home project
or whatever.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I'm like, I can do that. My nails.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I can't do that, though, but like, I love being
able to do something on my own.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
And something that I will always remember is when.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I started having my father in law do my taxes
because he's a tax accountant, which was a risk because
we weren't married. And I was like, I'll let this
guy see my finances. I got really embarrassed because he
was asking me questions and I was like, I don't
know what you're asking me. And I used to keep
(15:45):
track of all my finances for work on a like
a word doc.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Well that's okay, I think you're gonna say a.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Napkin no on like a word doc. So I would
just like always write everything out and so like I
sent that to him and he was like, I can
can't use this.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Don't you have Excel? And I was like, I don't
really know how to use that.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
So Patrick helped me put it all in Excel because
word docs you can't like do control all the things
and whatever it has. So I sent it to a
Excel and I was like, I'm sorry, like I don't
know anything about taxes, and he goes, that's okay, I
don't know anything about being a therapist. That's why you're
a therapist. And I'm a tax accountant. And I was like,
(16:28):
thank you, Like that doesn't mean I'm not capable. It's
that to do my taxes, I am capable, but I
need an expert to help me with that, right, I
don't have to do everything.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
On my own. I don't have you all knowing.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, I love that. That's what I mean too about
the the realtor part is like I thank you for
people that came in, and also that I could trust
some people that work with realtors or lenders that screw
them over. So I was able to do it and
I was able to find people to trust. And something
(17:03):
else that fits in the vein of like, okay, one
minute at a time, one hour at a time, one
day at a time. Is sometimes you may need to
borrow hope from someone else, and like simply knowing that
your friends believe in you, because like I know, if
I were to call you or a cryocat or whoever
like and have a conversation, you would encourage me and
motivate me. And so I might if I don't have
(17:24):
that hope for myself in the moment, I can maybe
borrow it from you or hear one of your stories
and then be inspired by that story. And so sometimes
we might need to borrow the hope to get us
to the next day.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
You want to know something that's kind of depressing, but
like a similar vein, it was very helpful to me,
So it's not bad depressing. When I went through a
really bad breakup, and if you've been through a really
(17:58):
bad breakup, it feels like you physically feel sick, Like
the pain is not just emotional, it is like physical.
And in my head, it was the first one I
had ever gone through, so in my head, I was like,
how am I ever going to not feel this again?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Like I don't know how to.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Get out of this, And what I did is I
looked for people who like had gone through breakups and
then I was like, where are they now? And like
there was one specific there was like a song I
think it was a Johnny Swim song or something like that,
and it was like so sad and so depressing. Then
I was like, they're married and they have children and
they're happy, and so that hope was like, Okay, I
(18:35):
know people can do this. People don't stay in this forever.
And it sounds so silly saying it now because I'm like,
it feels like dull people. Heartbreak doesn't kill people technically, yeah,
but you like depression pretty yeah, yeah. And so I
used that to like I looked for the depressing story
(18:56):
to then see how they got out of it, and
if they didn't, moment.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Took you borrowed their story, borrowed their story, Yeah, to
drink you up and get you moving and get you
out there and get on the apps. Yeah, download hinge.
I think about it. Without Hinge, you would not have
met your husband.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Technically, well that's not true. You would have met your boyfriend. Yeah,
well okay, what I sorry?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
But you know I had that other guy I dated
from Hinge, I wouldn't have had that experience.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
And that brought us a lot of I did bring.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Us a lot of joy.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It was cool.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
I still run into it and like he maybe, like
you brought him to my rehearsal dinner, Like who knows,
if he wasn't there, maybe something else would have happened,
and we don't know if like it would have been
the same.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
You know, do you remember the speech I gave at
your rehearsal dinner was so pretty perfect because we all
met on Hinge, and so I was like, so it
was only appropriate that I bring a guy I met
on Hinge and this is our second date and our
first date was only like a one an hour drink thing,
(20:01):
like we met for a cocktail for one hour.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Yeah, but I really wanted you to bring him. Yeah
you did also like what a good sport, And I
thought that, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I thought this is gonna be so fun. I'm gon
end up marrying the guy that I brought to cats.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And then I can hear that speech at year.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah I know, I really I mean not that I
really thought we're gonna get married, but you know what,
and then I had taken a trip with him, Well,
we went to the US Open. Yeah, so anyway, not
that this any of this matters. Like I don't even
know why we're going down this memory lane. But we
were with another couple and they were taking pictures and
like we weren't like together together. So but also I
(20:40):
was like, do we take a picture? And then so
we took pictures of them, and then I remember I
looked at him. I was like, should take a pic?
Like just in case, like just in case we end
up together together? Yes, so I have a picture of
us like on that rock, you know the rock in
New York. We did. We have a picture together, you
know the rock.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
But like, what do you think the message is that
he got when you're like just in case?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Oh, come on, do you think he was thinking that deep?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
No, you're right.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
He probably was like, sure, I'll take you just in case,
what like just in case we die. I don't know
what he was thinking, and I don't know why I
just give him that accent, but like I just like,
should we take a pic, you know, just in case?
(21:30):
And then I was like, here's my camera and so
now somewhere in my camera roll, I have a just
in case.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Pick because don't get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
If we ended up together, then like, yeah, we would
have wanted to pick on that rock.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Or like what if he becomes like super famous, then
you can be like we went to New York together once.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, so I have that just in case super famous
for what.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I know people got famous for anything. Now, yeah, he
could get a TikTok. I don't even he has social media.
Let's be honest. He was using Facebook, remember, yes, I
was like, not that that's bad any of our listeners
that do it at all, because like Facebook's a thing,
but like that was his primary upload.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I have an update on what.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
I don't want to change the subject, but on the
go for it. Okay, Facebook made me remember it. Speaking
of doing one task at a time, Yesterday, I was
on Facebook Marketplace because I'm looking for a bench for
my entryway. So if you have, if you see anything,
let me know. And I'm trying to Patina, so I'm
trying to get something used.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
And you know the bench in my injury way. You
don't the cute, it's cute, I probably do well. I
bought it on Facebook market Place.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Really, okay, I need to look at it after.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I need to never notice anything. I'm like, hey, do
you notice that? And you're like what, Sorry, You're just kidding.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
I'm not observant.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
So I got some motivation out of I don't know where,
because I went and checked to see if I made
it into the Facebook group yet my subdivision Facebook.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Group, and I haven't. So I messaged the board of
directors on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Okay, so this is the next right step. Okay.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
I don't know if they use that group anymore because
the last post was from twenty twenty four, but it
was like the next thing for me to be able
to do. If they don't answer, then I'm going to
look at who's on the board of Directors and directly
message them.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I don't look at my Facebook messages or I think
they're spam you know.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
So I'm fraid they're not gonna Well.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
You're gonna have to be intentional about checking your messages
if you really want to be in this group.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
No, I'm saying, if they get a message from me,
are they even going I'm looking to see if they
answered me, are they even going to open it? You know?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Oh? Well, I feel like if someone's when they're monitoring
a group like that.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
They haven't answered.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
I said, Hi, I've been trying to join the neighborhood
Facebook group since September when we moved in.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Can someone help me out? Smiley face. That's good.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
You talk to any of your neighbors that are part
of it.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Yes, My one neighbor that I knew before I moved in,
her she doesn't have Facebook, but her husband dies and
she said keeps saying I need to tell my husband
to send them a.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Message, but I don't want to. I don't want to
make a big deal about it because like, yeah, be cool.
I'm trying to be cool. But I've just brought it
up on this podcast for times.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Just you're moving forward, because the next thing after borrowing
someone else's story, borrow your neighbors. Yeah, borrow hope that
your neighbors in the group. Yeah, but like you're gonna
still move forward without clarity. You have no idea if
they're going to accept you, But you just keep moving forward.
Because that's another thing that my therapist has had to
drill into me, is that a lot of times I
want to know what's happening, and I've had to surrender
(24:45):
that control. But I you have to move forward to
the next right thing, the next right step, without full
clarity of what's ahead, what's in they.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Been.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
My ex husband and I had a good conversation today
that is a complete one eighty from where I was
yesterday with something we have going on, and I'm like,
what look at us? Like I just kept moving forward
yesterday doing the next right thing, and then the next
right thing. Things just started to I don't know, I'm
looking at it through a different filter, Like I put
(25:19):
on a different set of glasses, because instead of my
fear goggles, instead of my fear goggles, I put on
my like I want to just do the next right
thing and approach this with confidence and wisdom, so like,
take the facts right. So then I put on those
(25:40):
there's fear goggles, And what do I want to call them?
Speaker 4 (25:44):
I have an idea what I have human Well, you've
said like I'm open to creative solutions. I feel like, yeah,
this is a you've you came up with a creative solution.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Oh my gosh. That's when my Gaby Bernstein days, which
I'm sure a lot of people say that, but a
couple of years ago I was listening to a lot
of her stuff and that was Oh, I did my
sister and I did her twenty one day not meditate, yeah,
maybe meditation challenge. I think it was, yeah, meditation, but
manifestation maybe you know, I'll try it. Uh So I
(26:22):
forgot about that and that was such a good thank
you for reminding me of that. Oh good little nugget there.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Yeah, so your creative solution goggles?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yes? Is that a cute enough name for you? Said,
my creative solution cs I can either put on my
CSGS or my FG's Yeah, girl, yeah girl. You know
we like an acronym. So with my CSGS. Today, well,
I feel so much better and it's like we were
(26:53):
able to work together as a team. And this has
nothing to do with me and Ben by the way.
It's something we're having to work on together, but it's
not our relationship. And I'm like, look at us, and
this feels so much better and I feel good about it.
But I think if I was still wrapped up in
the fear and not seeing the next right thing and
also seeing good things in front of me, Like also
(27:13):
yesterday I opened up my email and I looked at
something with a different perspective where I could have been
annoyed by it, but instead I said, this is a
gift from the Lord. Thank you Lord for this opportunity,
because it's almost like, you know the cute story about
the guy praying in the flood for the Lord to
(27:33):
rescue him and then he ends up dying, and I mean,
I'm paraphrasing it just to get to the point. But
he gets the pearly gates and he's like, what's up?
Like I was praying to get saved. And Peter's like, hey, idiot,
like we sent you a boat, in a helicopter and
a but you kept waving it off, being like no, no, no, no,
the Lord's gonna save me. And it's like, you know
(27:53):
you got to have on the the LG's what's that
the Lord goggle? Oh, solutions. I'm open to creative solutions.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
The Lord gave you the creative solution goggles. Yeah, like
you accepted them. And this kind of reminds me of
what we learned about from Courtney cook shout out that
her positive attitude probably makes that food taste better, just
like you having a different outlook allows you to see
more opportunities.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Right, We did google that to fact check her taste buds,
because that is something that, yeah, is very good theory
of yours because I think, to quote you exactly, you're like,
she could eat gravel and be like, hmmm, crunchy.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
To put manaise on it, but then she would eat it.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
She spirt it with mayonnaise. M yummy. Because yeah, she
overall has a very positive demeanor and I love that,
and I'm not always going to be that way, but yeah,
I wonder if we're in a good mood or a
bad mood, like it affecting our taste greats.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Speaking of have you seen the videos?
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Won't do a whole podcast on her, but have you
seen the videos of her eating, like showing you her
pregnancy cravings.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I only saw one that she did with her daughter, like,
which I thought was really cute because she had her
daughter and she was like, Hey, this is what I
was craving when you were in my belly.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Do you remember what it was?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Something like popcorn dipped in something else, dipped in something else.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. This one was like
cottage cheese and pork rimes. Oh, and some kind of sauce.
Maybe it was mayonnaise, Like you must have been in
a really good you were having the pregnancy glow when
you ate that?
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Because what anyway, Yeah, LG's.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Cgg csgg fgese. You know what we need is we
need a feeling things dictionary that has all our acronyms. Yes, yeah,
that's the one that I can remember.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
This is pretty much the only one. I even though
we just came up with wtw oh yeah, wait to worry.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Yeah, and T B nope, n B D.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah that's not hard I know, but we're gonna use
it like s I B we literally made.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Yeah, we made that up. We'll put an asterisk on
ones that we didn't trademark T A s A P.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
BRP I K y k n k oh. I don't
even know that one, if you know, you know?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
I okay, why I know we should Well, no, we shouldn't.
I don't know how interesting would be if we went
through a list of all the like cool acronyms and
if we knew what they were, because like, how often
are you googling an acronym when your kids text you something?
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Thankfully they don't really use tons of like.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Do you know t d l R t l d R.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
T l d R No, I'm too.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Long didn't read, so people will like, no, no, no,
it's not no, no, no, no, no, it's not bad.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
It's actually helpful.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Like if somebody I think, I don't know, if somebody
writes a really long post at the end, they'll be
like t L D R and then they'll just give
like the short version of it. Oh, do you know
what f WW is? F ww fwww. No, No, think
it's just f WW for what it's worth?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
For what? What about the I? It's f I.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Don't think they put that in there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
F W i W.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Maybe maybe some people use that, some people don't.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Well, they need to keep it straight if they're gonna
do real acronyms. I need every letter because there's no
way I'm going to figure it out how our.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Dictionary will keep the eye. Anyway, just a little in
case you didn't know, we.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Have an email from I believe you say it's Zoe Zoe.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
How is it Zoe?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
It's Zoe z O?
Speaker 4 (31:50):
I E.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Zoe? Wow? And why language would that be?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Zo?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Zoe?
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Zoe Zoe Zoe. Hi, Amy and kat I just finished
listening to your episode about what you're watching and reading,
and I wanted to tell you that one. I love
Emily Henry books, so you made a good choice. If
you end up liking her books, I suggest you check
out Alie Hazelwood, Lucy Score, and Laura Gilmour. I think
(32:29):
you'll love her Dream Harbor series. These are a few
of my favorites. Two you said in your four books,
said that one of them is called You and Me
on Vacation. I just wanted to let you know that
that's actually the same book as people would meet on vacation.
They just changed the name for publishing in different countries.
So if you don't want to read it, since you've
already seen the movie, you can skip that one enjoy
your reading. And I was like, oh, dang, I thought
(32:50):
it was going to be a sequel or even a
prequel or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
You really only got three books.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I only got three books. Well, I mean I can
give the fourth away to somebody else that maybe wants
to read.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
It's nice.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
And then she was like, depending on which country it's for.
I'm like, did I order them in English?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Wait? Yeah, because why would they change the English name
on the English book if they changed the other.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I don't know. But then you know, you were like Hey,
what's the link that you got the four pack on?
And then I went to it and it was like
no longer unavailable, no longer available, like I bought the
last four pack.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
I guess, So what link did you give me?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I gave you the link, but there's you can't buy
anything from it.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Oh I linked that in our news.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I know.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I realized that after I was like, oh my gosh, yeah,
no I didn't. It's nothing I noticed right away, but
then I noticed like, oh, you can't even buy it,
like I must have bought the last one, which then
makes you think like did I really get books?
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Have they come yet?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Or they're like, finally someone bought that four pack?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
Wait? Has it come here?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, they've come, but they're still wrapped in their plastic
because I haven't opened them yet because I'm reading The Nightingale.
Oh yeah, pretty much done with that. And then once
I finished The Nightingale, which is so good, I'm moving
on to my other three books from Emily Henry and
then thanks to Zoe here, I gotta check out Ali,
Lucy and Laurie h Okay.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
So, also, I wonder if that sold out right after
the movie came out, because the people were probably buying it.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Oh good point, not because I certainly you scammed. Yeah,
like you got scammed for the weed of bis.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Oh my gosh, can we talk about that?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
So somebody, can I tell you?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I Can I tell you something right now?
Speaker 3 (34:33):
NBD?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Now can I tell it to you right now? So
you don't have something? And it's really not that big deal,
but like I don't I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
They don't like when I asked for permission to talk
about things because you want it to feel like I
can talk about whatever I want.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
That right there was more like girl, can we talk
about that? Like girl talk?
Speaker 4 (34:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Well, I thought we were going back to our old ways,
and like during the fifth thing, when it was like
my podcast and then you would be coming on as
a guest, sometimes you'd be like, ooh, can we talk
about this? But then when we joined forces and became
one podcast together, sometimes you would still ask that, and
I'll be like, stop, like you, it's just as much
yours as it is mine, So take it wherever you want. Girl.
If you want to talk about weed a bic, go
for it.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
But also, here's my thought too, because I do listen
to podcasts that have like multiple co hosts, and something
that does grind my gears is when a host is
telling a story and then the other hosts like hi,
or even when they're just interviewing, and when somebody hijack
jack something and then like you lose track of where
(35:34):
you're going because I interrupt you and I go over
on a tangent.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
So sometimes when I ask for permission, it's because like
I don't I have ADHD and I can't just let
you finish, and I want to make sure I'm not
derailing you because you might have you might be going
somewhere you know.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Oh that makes sense, so you're being considerate.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
And yeah, I'm always like they might allowed to talk.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Then my gears were grinding, and I was like, I
got to tell you something right now, stop okay.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
But that was more like we have to talk about this, like, girl,
can we talk about that? Because we posted that weied
debix video and we said like I think in the
video you were like, yeah, you paid fourteen ninety nine
for this, which I did, and then somebody commented that
you can buy it for forty nine at al.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Aldi Aldi, how do you say it?
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Aldi? And then somebody else said they got it for
five dollars on Amazon, So I went.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
And looked, and I checked.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I did pay fourteen ninety nine more than it, so
fifteen something with tex in that same link, same exact link.
Then was like on sale for five forty seven. I
paid three times as much. And then there's this fancy
button that Amazon has now where you can like click
it and a little chatbot will come up and explain
to you the price history. And it said that we
(36:52):
debix can be anywhere from like fifteen dollars to five
dollars average of for this it's the same box. Yeah, yeah,
isn't that weird? And I imagine it's the demand. So
I must have bought it at a hot time, hot.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Like you must have bought it when Oh, my boyfriend's calling.
Oh hey, do you want to answer it?
Speaker 3 (37:16):
No, I'm talking about Weeda bes. No, you can answer it.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
No, what am I going to say?
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Like somebody says funny things?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Oh? I just rejected him.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I wish my husband would call me. He's not at work.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Y'all don't call each other at work though, that's the thing. Okay,
that's like the there are there's almost like there's two
types of people in the world, those that like talk
while they're at work and those that just don't. And
Alex and I will call each other multiple times during
the work day.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Yeah, does he not like at an office?
Speaker 4 (37:46):
He has an office? Does he go to office? Where
is he like calling you when he's on his way somewhere?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
He has a stand up desk because sometimes I FaceTime
and he's standing up.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
And he can talk to you on the phone while
he's at work, and nobody's like, why aren't you working?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
He's the boss?
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Okay? Is true? That's true. I think that's a difference.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
I mean there's other so the way his company works, like,
yes he's CEO, but there are other there's a company
that owns their company and that so technically that guy's
in the building too, so technically he answers to those guys.
But like in his office, he's I mean, but okay.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
I know that we know this.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
When you just said that your boyfriend is the CEO, Like,
do you get to go to the company Christmas party
and be like I'm with the CEO?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
No? His company Christmas party was in New York and
I was like, well, oh am I going to go
because I would love to go to New York. Well,
first of all, it was on a weeknight and I
have work, so I couldn't go anyway. But he's like, also,
it's not plus one. So I was like, what, Yeah,
what kind of Christmas party is that? That's what I said, lame.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Oh, well, I guest Patrick's isn't either.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
They just do it like it's like after work and
everybody gets together and it's whole thing. And I'm like,
but I mean, you flew from Nashville to go to
this party.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Wait, that's actually Patrick's companies too, like they have I
think obviously in New York are somewhere where people will
all come down for the party and it's just like
one night after work and we're not invited. But for
some reason, I'm like, if you're the CEO, then you
can bring your whoever you want.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, but then at that party in New York, he's
but it's almost like he's head of some parts. But
then when he's there, there's people that are bigger fish.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Okay, you know it's still cool. You're that's cool. Yeah,
that's really cool. So that's why he can call you
during the day.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
So, so I've actually tested the waters because I'm like,
I want to talk to him.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
I would.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
I don't like going ten hours without talking to my husband.
And so I've called him before and he's just like,
what do you need something like It's like he's he
thinks that there's like a obviously there's an emergency, so
why she's calling me?
Speaker 3 (39:47):
So I don't want to scare him anymore?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Right, So, yeah, he's starting to be like who died?
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Literally, I'm doing to him what I don't want people
to do it. But also, now this has actually been
really tough for us.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
It's been tough for me. I don't think it's been
tough for him. So his office is getting in a
new office. So for the next couple of weeks he's
working from home, and for the past couple of weeks, so.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I'm home and he's home, but I can't talk to
him because he's working. Because he's working.
Speaker 4 (40:15):
One time I tried to give him a glass of
water and I walked in on a call, and I
think I embarrassed him.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
You're right, Wait a second, who cares?
Speaker 4 (40:25):
Right?
Speaker 3 (40:26):
Did they see?
Speaker 4 (40:27):
Well?
Speaker 3 (40:27):
I was in my robe and like had like my
retainer in and.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Like I had like.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah on you okay, but I opened the door.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
I cracked the door and I was like hi, and
he was he like threw his like headphones off.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
He was like I'm on a call.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Like I startled him. I think he was like, I
don't want you to interrupt me. So we're gonna have
to figure out a code of like when can I
we need a like a light on the door, like
we know when somebody's recording.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Like on air. Yeah, yes, like I'm on a call,
on a call, yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
Yes, speaking of did you you used to have like
the beads hanging.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
Down from your door when you're worse? Oh yeah? Did
you ever have a doorbell on your room?
Speaker 1 (41:06):
No?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
I had that too. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Did your dad install a doorbell? Well it was like,
I mean he's a builder, so like that would.
Speaker 4 (41:13):
Be really my dad didn't saw a doorbell. But you
do know he took my door off the hinges.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I do you know that?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:18):
No, it was like you know those like closet lights
that like just stick to the wall. Yeah, it was
like that vibe but it made a sound cute. Yeah, yeah, anyway,
that just needed to come out of my breath.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Yeah, should we get back to that.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
It could be something cute. No, I mean I just
had the email and I was thankful for that, and
then that took us on the weed to bix and
then you're but honestly, once I moved on to the email,
like I was done with my therapy revelations from yesterday
when because I was like, does the process even know
we're trusting it? And now I know it doesn't. It doesn't,
It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Doesn't need, it doesn't need exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
You still have to trust the process. You have to
do the next right thing. What's the next teeny tiny step.
You have to borrow hope wherever you can get it.
And then you don't have to know the full picture.
You have to move forward without clarity.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
I think that's the hardest one.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Those are the three things of trusting the process or
like trusting that you can trust the process. But you
can't just like trust the process.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
You have to trust that you can.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
You have to take action and those are little things
you can do, right.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
That's really helpful. I like that, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
There're little nuggets. Yeah, But anyway, therapy was so relieving.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
You were relieved, and I was released.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's worth every penny yesterday.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I see. That's the dream.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
If somebody leaves your office thinking that, like almost like
I would have paid double?
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Would you go that far?
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Mm?
Speaker 3 (42:48):
Like I already paid a lot. I guess.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
I mean, I suppose I'm my because we had some
good revelations, like even I haven't teared up in therapy
in a while, and I got choked up.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
Here's a question.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
But it had to do with my dad. So and
I remember she was like, stay with that, stay with that.
She's like, what's the what's coming up for you right now?
Stay with it, don't shut it down. And I was like,
I think it's for my dad, and maybe just some
I was taking on what I believe to be because
it's hard to know for sure because there was a
lot I was feeling. But I think in that moment,
(43:22):
especially being a parent now myself, like I was taking
on maybe some humility and that my dad was experiencing
like some humble pie of sorts and his pride and
how hard certain things must have been. But he didn't
really let me know. And I kind of lived in
lalla land, and I think that's why too. Maybe my
(43:43):
stepmom had resentment towards me. It is because she knew
all the facts and like I didn't, and that's probably
why it was annoying for her. But I mean, I
couldn't help them. I care. And then my therapist said,
you can't. Your dad was choosing to make those actions.
He was choosing to continue to pay for things, even
if stuff was difficult for him. He didn't want you
to know so like, and I'm like, yeah, but I
(44:05):
would have gone and gotten a job.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Like, yeah, I could go get a job, but I
want you to.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Right, But but why like he had to work so hard.
That's also what just just you know what grinds my gears.
It's like it would have taught me something like it
would have I would have had. Not that I don't
I have a poor work ethic, but I just think
I could have done that in high school and college.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
You didn't have a job in high school and college.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I mean I was a nanny for a little bit
in high school when I had part time, like my
senior year, I only had half the day, and then
I was a hostess for six weeks one summer, and
then in college, no I mean I worked at this
weight loss clinic one summer. I was toxic.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Ang I did not know you did it.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh my gosh, my job was too Wait.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
That's not funny, but like also like, uh, yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
It is a little bit because like I should not
like I a eating disorder, right, but I shouldn't.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
Have been currently and when you were working there like
I did when he was working there, such like now.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
I mean I wasn't active active in it, but I
definitely had a problem.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
But you don't you think that's part of what drew
you to go work.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
There, Probably because I thought I'm gonna have access to
all this diet knowledge. Yeah, absolutely, but like I was not,
like I I wasn't qualified to talk to them about
certain things, by what standards.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
To talk to them about anything?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Well, correct, But I did have the I part of
my duties.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah, I was allowed to weigh.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
And measure them, yeah, and then ask them what they ate.
They were supposed to come in a wig like every
thro three times a week or something, so you would
ask them, Okay, what'd you eat the last two days?
Because we would have a journal and jury of what
they ate the last time they came in and they
would feel like if they went up on the scale
and they would be like, I don't know why I
went up. And then I'd think, okay, well let's talk
(45:57):
about what you ate, and then I wouldn't you'd like
consult there. No, No, I just had to write it down.
I wasn't consulting. But in my mind, I'm like writing down,
and I'm like, okay, menudo like oreos, it's menudo menudo.
So we're in Texas, so in sort of like in
a South Texas park is where I was. But it's
a popular Mexican dish that is made up of all
(46:22):
parts of the cow, like very fatty. I don't think
it's a if there's.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
All parts, what do you mean, like the bones are bones?
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Wouldn't be but like like I don't.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
Test the liver and the like the what is it called,
like the giblets or something?
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Is that that's chicken giblets.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Or giblets giblets, Yeah, something like that. So I guess
I'm just clarifying that sometimes it was really guy would
be writing it down and'd be like, well, I know why,
maybe didn't. But I wasn't qualified to council on that
I just wrote it down and then I moved on
to the next person. But yeah, that was in college,
and it probably only worked there a few months and
(47:01):
then I don't even know. I think it's because I
was doing summer school there, because other than that, I
would always go home for the summer and I didn't
really work. But you know, I had a gas card
that he paid his gas card.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Yeah, and you're like, I could.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Have and it's like that that wasn't necessary. He should
have been like, you're paying for your own gas, you're
paying for your own insurance. Like here, learn how to
be an adult. And then no, wonder I have a
fear of like opening bills, like because I didn't really
have to open bills. But then also I knew, she said,
so much of what I struggle with is like such
on a subconscious level. It's like I knew there was
(47:36):
also issues with my dad, because I knew there were
times he went bankrupt, but then he always just bounced
back how because he was a businessman. That's just so
it was a roller coaster.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
That's like a lesson though of like sometimes this is
not what you're putting down. Let me know, sometimes we
think we're doing something that's really good for our kids.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
And then you learned it humble like the humble pie.
Speaker 4 (48:02):
Like you said, we learned like m it would have
been better for me to have her get a job.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Well, that's why passive parenting is so dangerous in my opinion.
It is certainly easier.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Yeah, but it is what so say passive parenting if
somebody doesn't know what that is.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
What do you mean by that, I'm not a parent.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Just it's easier to just let things slide slide? You don't.
You don't take the initiative to course correct or to
have consequences, to have boundaries, Like people thrive on boundaries.
They're really helpful. At times, I had no curfew at
my dad's house. I could have parties, we could drink.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Shut up, yeah you didn't. I don't think I knew this.
Speaker 4 (48:50):
Oh your dad was like, come over to our house
and drink, it's okay.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Well, he would mostly be out of town, be he's like.
I was like, well, I'm gonna have people over. And
he knew that we drank. He just didn't want to
deal with it. It was pat like, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
He left me that you drank. What would happen.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Oh, no, I was in trouble.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
So did they not talk to each other?
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Of Like?
Speaker 1 (49:10):
No, I would have parties at my dad's house. And
I didn't live with my dad. I lived with my mom,
so sometimes I would have to leave because I had
curfew at my mom's house. People would stay at my
dad's house.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Were you like a party girl in high school?
Speaker 1 (49:24):
No? I wouldn't say major major party girl. But I
think that you were cool, though I don't know. I
didn't feel cool probably yeah, So I don't know what
defines that. I felt very like I wanted to be.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
So, but yeah, those are my friends. They were cool.
And my best friend Andrea, she's actually coming to town
next weekend, so I'm excited to see her. But there's
a few of us. We all met when we were
thirteen and we still are friends.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Is she going to bet Alex?
Speaker 1 (49:54):
She is? Yeah, ble So Scott's great a Luke when
and we went to the Bahamas? Or No, not the Bahamas?
Where'd we go? Cayman Islands last summer. I'm in the
airport in the Cayman's and I look up and I
see Luke, which he's the other he was at all
these parties too, and I was like, Luke, I hadn't
(50:14):
seen him in years, and it's crazy to like see
your friends from that long ago. I got a random
airport in another country. Yeah, so that is just fun.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
Yeah, okay, well fun story.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
You were time, not bad you and your nickname was
little Jesus.
Speaker 4 (50:30):
Literally, but I I'm the one that got uninvited to
parties because there was drinking, So like, you are the
one hosting them?
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Would you?
Speaker 4 (50:38):
But but I hear in that is you would have
let me come to your party even if I didn't drink.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yeah, I I mean I probably didn't drink that night either,
because I had to drive all the way back home
to my mom's house. Yeah, and my mom and my
dad didn't live near each other. Yeah, so it was
Oh but I remember why one friend one night, she
got busted for having the party. My mom caught me
because one of my friends told her mom Hamsmin and
then I with Amy, and she just assumed it was
my mom's house, so she called my mom's landline to
(51:03):
talk to her. You know, this is before cell phones
and all that is Catherine there No, She's like, no,
I swear she's spend the night with Amy. She's like,
maybe she's so. My mom got in her car again.
They did not look close, and my mom the Holy
Spirit led her right to the door and I got
in so much trouble.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
She walked showed up at the party. Yeah, are you drinking?
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Probably because I was staying there. Who knows, I don't know.
And that was one time Jenna Bush. I went to
high school with them. And this has nothing to do
with like drinking. Did have a party? No, it's not
to do with drinking, although she got busted underage drinking
in the news. But we were doing a five k
the next day and we had been up really late
(51:44):
and we spent the night at my dad's house and
I we had registered and paid for the money, and
I really wanted to get up and go do the
five k, and she was like, no, let's just let
it go. I don't want to do it. And she
was like, I'm so tired. I want to sleep, and
I'm like no, we already read shirt like Noda and
she was like, you're the devil. And I was like
what she got? And she did it that we did it,
but did you die? I think she was annoyed with
me for sure.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
No, age, you can kind of bounce back different if
you did that.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Now, I don't think that.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Yeah, no, I think you so like, yeah we were
we don't this No, if your kid's listening, No, we
were stupid.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
But sometimes you just need a couple.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yeah, so there you are random, Yeah, jopped down memory lane.
I had no idea we would do that, but there
we are. Okay, anything else. This is a very diverse
episode to talk about a lot of things, and we
hope wherever you are, you are having the day you
need to have. Bye Bye
Good break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just wons maybe
a cat gotcha Cob and locking m brother Lady's folks,
do you just follow an the spirit where it tell
us the phn real stuff to the chill stuff and
the m but swaying. Sometimes the best thing you can
do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
With Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
I'm Cat and I'm starting with the feeling of the
day because I'm feeling so relieve right now.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Tell us more.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
And this has a lot to do with you. Has
everything to do with you, really, because a weight has
been lifted off of my chest and I think this
there's probably something deeper going on that I probably should
work through with my own therapist. But yesterday you sent
me a text that said something to discuss with you
(01:01):
tomorrow when you come over or maybe a dinner conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Oh okay, okay, yes, now I know what you're talking
about it and you don't like messages like.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
That, so you sent me that, and I think I
was trying to be cool because you've done this before.
I don't know if you've noticed this, but like you've
done this before where you said, like I.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Want to talk about X, and I'm like, oh, oh,
let's talk about it. But it's in your head.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It's probably not that big of a deal, but like,
I don't know what you're going to say about it,
so I need to know.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
So I was trying to practice like coolness and calmness
and trust and all the things. So I just was
like okay.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
And then later I think I said, so, what do
you need to oh, because then later you sent me
something else and I said, oh, is.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
That what you needed to discuss? And you were like no, no,
And I was like, okay, well you're giving me anxiety?
What is it? And you didn't answer me. You left
me like you re let me hanging.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
And I was like, shoot, oh, I had a busy
phone call dayesterday, which I'm sorry about that, but now
I know why you're feeling. Is your feeling of the
day is you're probably feeling relief, right, it's relieved.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Do I not even say what my feeling?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I don't know if you did. I only know because
I read relieved, but I didn't know what you were
relieved about. Okay, you said it. Now I was getting
nervous that like what I had done to you because
I was like, wait a second, what did I do?
But now I know you're relieved because I finally told
you what it was and you realize it's not that
big of bod deal.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yes, but listen to the text that I sent you,
and this is just like to me, it reminds me
of my mom will send a text and be like
call me, and I'm like, who in our family has died?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Or who had a heart attack? Because why wouldn't you
just text me something? Or why can't you call me?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
You know, it's like I can't sit there and then
like go have a session with a client, like I
need to know.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So like share with this worst case scenario what you
thought I needed to talk to you about.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Well, I'm trying to find Oh you said I have
something to run by you. Oh how a dinner combo
tomorrow or tomorrow I will see you or tomorrow when
I see you when we record. I don't know what
it was, but I was thinking like it either could
be like something really exciting or it's like we need
to talk about something. But then when you said dinner,
I was like, Okay, well, like, it can't be anything
(03:19):
too personal or bad.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Like I was thinking, you know, is a scenario, Oh
is something not going well with the podcast?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yes, that was part my initial but then I was like, no, Catherine, like,
it can't be that because that's not dinner Kravo.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
She would like have a conversation with you about that.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
You talk to yourself full name when you talk to yourself, Yes, Catherine, Catherine,
Elizabeth Brittany.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yes, Yath and Mary Francis, Sally Brittany, Defauda dan Buren.
So then I said, what are you wanting to discuss?
This is giving me anxiety? And you just go on
talking about whatever else?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
You didn't. You just didn't.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I think you didn't probably see that because we were
talking about something else at the same time, and I
think you were on the phone and then and then
you and then you're talking to me about something else
and I go, okay, is this what you we have
to talk about?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And you just go no, lol, yeah, because I'm like,
why would I make a big deal to talk about that,
which I wasn't trying to make a big deal. First
of all, Well.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
You didn't, I did, okay, thank you?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I was, I do this a lot where I try
to just make little notes so I don't forget. So
I feel like if I tell you, we won't forget.
But now I know if I tell you, I'm sending
you into panic mode and you're going worst case scenario
and you're like, I need to know, don't do this
to me. So I'll work on that. But I'll even
text myself or email myself little notes of like, you know,
just so I don't forget. So that that was my
(04:47):
way of saying, hey, I want to talk to you
about something, but not right now, okay.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
But if your boyfriend sent you a text and was like,
I know we're not dating, but like if your boyfriends
sitting in a text was like I have something I
need to talk to you about tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
What do you My boyfriend's studis to you? What and
my boyfriend's studis to you?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Just like that's like the typical, like, hey, we need
to talk, so maybe we need another thing for this,
like hey, I need to talk to you about something NBD,
no big deal, oh MBD, because in your head again,
it wasn't a big deal. So when I keep asking
you about it, you didn't respond.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
To be fair, what I ended up sharing with you
was sort of a big deal, but not in like
a big deal like you need to know about it,
but it was ehind okay, everything was okay. It was special.
I wanted to share with you a revelation I had
in therapy and you, being a therapist. I thought you
would appreciate it because my therapist helped me work through
something and I'm like, I felt so much better after
(05:45):
my session that I wouldn't let you know that. After
clients have sessions with you, there's probably so many times
where they're walking out of your office and they're like,
I feel so much better. And I wanted to share
with you what a joy it is to have a
job like bad where you're like really helping people.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, which was actually so sweet.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
That's but no, we're like, oh, I'm relieved. You were
just wanting to sort of compliment me, and I do
see how though I caused some That's why I thought
it would be okay to talk about at dinner, because
I would like it would have been if we were
with you know, my boyfriend and your husband and we're
out to eat and I were to say, like, you know, Kat,
(06:26):
just thinking about your line of work and what you
get to do every day. I just wanted you to
know you're making an impact because I'm sure my therapist
probably just hung up from our video call and was like, Okay, yeah,
did my job today, but like no, really, she like
did her job. She showed up and to her it
was just she's doing what she's trained to do. But
for me, it was big. So I wanted you to
(06:47):
know that. So you are feeling relieved that we're not
ending the podcast.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yeah, or like anything bad.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
So instead of NBD, why don't we say ETO, Everything's okay.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, I'm gonna send them all, gonna be the ETO
MVD all good. Everything is fine, But I like talk
about this later but not like a big deal. Later
is just sort of which is something that I want
to talk to you about but I don't want to forget.
But a hunt IP talk about right now.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I think that this is probably more something I need
to work on. It's like I'm jumping to like conclusions.
Why am I still on edge? Yeah, Like I that
there could have been so many scenarios my brain made up,
but I made up this like worst case scenarios.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I saw so many memes that were very fitting to
my therapy appointment yesterday. I guess once one popped up
in my algorithm like other videos were popping up of Like,
you know, trust the process is a common saying. I
feel like I been saying it a lot lately myself.
Trust the process, Trust the process. And have you seen
(07:51):
the memes where it's like does the process? No, we
are trusting it, And to me it's so funny and yeah,
it's like, hello, I am trusting you process.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Why aren't you being so crazy?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Are you aware?
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Because you're acting like you don't know that we're over
here trying to trust you.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Did you talk about that in your therapy session the
meme and talk about the meme?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
But when I left therapy, though, I felt like the
process like heard me a little bit and I was like, okay,
so you in the process are working. Process showed up,
showed up with a little bit, and then I showed
some trust. Something that my therapist did say to me,
like point blank is like Amy, a lot of times
you're talking to me and you you start off one
(08:37):
way and sound very fearful, like I have a lot
of fear, but then I work my way through it.
And I eventually get to the proper part that has
more wisdom than fear, and like there's a little clarity
there and it shows like I'm capable. And she's like,
do you realize you do that and you get there
(08:58):
and I'm like, so, she's like, if you would just
pause and take a beet, you probably could get there.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
You know, they call yeah, they call that, and maybe
this is not exactly what you're talking about, but you've
heard the phrase play the tape through.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
No I have not, Oh so tell me.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
So that's a lot of times, specifically in recovery, but
like any type of process in therapy, we can use this.
But if somebody is worried about something, or if somebody
is wanting to do something that they don't know is
like it might be a little risky, We'll say play
the tape all the way through. And so if you
play the for example, if it's somebody's working through recovery
(09:34):
and they're like, I really want to go to this party,
but I know there will be a lot of alcohol,
they're so like, I don't know, like should I go,
But like also like I really want to go because
my friends are going to be there, and I don't
want to miss out on something. We'll say like, well,
let's play the tape through. What would what are the
steps that are going to happen? So we'll play the
tape through and probably get to the point where like,
I'm not that I'm still really early in recovery. I
(09:55):
haven't been tempted a lot. I'm gonna go to this party.
People don't know that I'm in recovery, so they're gonna
be off offering me alcohol. I'm gonna want to feel cool. Dad,
I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna have to start on day
one again kind of thing. Or who knows what's gonna happen,
or for you, it's like, okay, you start here with
all this fear. Once you play the tape all the
way through, you're like, oh, I got this, Okay, how
(10:17):
do I And that allows you to pause and then
how do I play the tape through and then make
a decision.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
With all the information?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Let me ask you this, okay, Catherine, Yes, next time
you get a text message from somebody that's like, hey,
I need to talk to you about something, maybe you
could play the tape through.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Are you sitting there just thinking and waiting to see me.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I'm like, hm, cat should play the tape through.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I should play the tape here?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Should you see?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
That is why therapist needs to go to therapy, because like,
we have our own stuff and it's easy to dish
it out, but sometimes we need to be able to
sit and hear it.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah. Well, I also kept wanting to go like big
picture though too. I understand like playing the tape through
just for the moment, but like I want to play
the tape through and it be accurate, like I want
to know what's happening. And then she brought me back
to like, let's stop focusing on what the next six
months look like and let's focus on what the next
day looks like. Like break it down into bite sized pieces.
(11:17):
So that's a little nugget for if you're feeling like
you're trying to trust the process, but you're like does
the process know? Then start to take it down to
bite size, which makes me think of the proverb or question.
I think it's a proverb. Is it a proverb?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
I don't know if you've wrout that.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
How do you mean an elephant one by a time?
That's right, because an elephant as a whole is very overwhelming,
but if you break it down and eat it one
bit at a time, you'll get there.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Eventually that's the next right thing.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
The next right thing. So like, what's the next right
thing I can do today or this minute? Like depending
on how micro you need to go right, yeah, because
it might be you could look at it it's a
week if you want, because maybe you've got overwhelmed by
the month of the year. So for you, maybe you
go down to the week, but some people might need
to go down to like the minute.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, I was gonna say hour, but minute also works.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
And that's okay. Some tips that she walked me through
and like getting there were like sometimes even just giving
yourself little task to do to show you that you
can do it, Like what's something you've been putting off?
Because there is one thing that I discussed in therapy
that I have been putting off and she was challenging
like why, And then she was like, could you practice
(12:34):
doing little things that you're putting off, like that could
build up to that that you're exercising that muscle, because
like every time you read, you're giving your brain a
little gift. Well, every time you do a little thing
that you've been putting off. You're giving your brain a
gift that makes the bigger thing.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Well, it also teaches you that you can do things.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, so like, is there an email you've been putting
off and it's really not that big of a deal, Like,
but you know you need to send the email. Sit
down and get out your computer and make yourself send
that email. And then you're like, all right, I sent
an eave sent an email, yeah or whatever that next, right,
story you can do. So she was showing me and
then she also brought up a little bit of stuff
(13:13):
you've talked about before about the data and the story,
like we've got the facts and we've got the stories.
And she's like, also, what I want you to notice
when you're doing my When I was playing the tape
back and I was getting there, She's like, you're showing
you're capable. And then also, look at your life. You
have this fear about something. Sure it's coming up from
(13:36):
childhood or this and that, but you look at you
look at your life where you are, you pay bills like,
you have a drop, like you have children, you have
a home, you have a car, Like you're capable. I
am capable. Yeah, like these things that like just freak
me out. And she's like, so even when I got
(13:58):
home from work today we were going to record, I
was doing the Bobby Bone show at studio and I
got home for today and I was pulling it through
my house and I was like, this is my house,
Like I bought this, and I was like, granted, it
took a real litter and he knew what she was
doing and you know.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah, but you and you decorated it.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
And the lone people that knew She's like, but you
need And then that showed me like, thank you Lord
for the experts along the way that helped guide me,
like I didn't have to do it alone, but yeah,
also I did it. Yeah, And I need to remember
that because I guess my big story that pops up
a lot no matter what area is that I'm not capable.
(14:37):
So and I feel like there's times where I've overcome
it and then it will rear it's ugly little hey.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Well, I think also that what's coming up for me
is when it comes to being capable, we can get
lost in the all or nothing of that. Because how
you were saying, like this is my house, I bought
this house and they're like, well I needed a realtor.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Well yeah, but doesn't mean you weren't capable.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
And I think I do this too, where I'm like,
I it can be really hard on myself for not
knowing how to do something and then therefore putting it
off because it's overwhelming or needing extra help with something.
And you know, I love to do things on my own, like,
no matter what it is, whether it's a home project
or whatever.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I'm like, I can do that. My nails.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I can't do that, though, but like, I love being
able to do something on my own.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
And something that I will always remember is when.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I started having my father in law do my taxes
because he's a tax accountant, which was a risk because
we weren't married. And I was like, I'll let this
guy see my finances. I got really embarrassed because he
was asking me questions and I was like, I don't
know what you're asking me. And I used to keep
(15:45):
track of all my finances for work on a like
a word doc.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Well that's okay, I think you're gonna say a.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Napkin no on like a word doc. So I would
just like always write everything out and so like I
sent that to him and he was like, I can
can't use this.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Don't you have Excel? And I was like, I don't
really know how to use that.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
So Patrick helped me put it all in Excel because
word docs you can't like do control all the things
and whatever it has. So I sent it to a
Excel and I was like, I'm sorry, like I don't
know anything about taxes, and he goes, that's okay, I
don't know anything about being a therapist. That's why you're
a therapist. And I'm a tax accountant. And I was like,
(16:28):
thank you, Like that doesn't mean I'm not capable. It's
that to do my taxes, I am capable, but I
need an expert to help me with that, right, I
don't have to do everything.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
On my own. I don't have you all knowing.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, I love that. That's what I mean too about
the the realtor part is like I thank you for
people that came in, and also that I could trust
some people that work with realtors or lenders that screw
them over. So I was able to do it and
I was able to find people to trust. And something
(17:03):
else that fits in the vein of like, okay, one
minute at a time, one hour at a time, one
day at a time. Is sometimes you may need to
borrow hope from someone else, and like simply knowing that
your friends believe in you, because like I know, if
I were to call you or a cryocat or whoever
like and have a conversation, you would encourage me and
motivate me. And so I might if I don't have
(17:24):
that hope for myself in the moment, I can maybe
borrow it from you or hear one of your stories
and then be inspired by that story. And so sometimes
we might need to borrow the hope to get us
to the next day.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
You want to know something that's kind of depressing, but
like a similar vein, it was very helpful to me,
So it's not bad depressing. When I went through a
really bad breakup, and if you've been through a really
(17:58):
bad breakup, it feels like you physically feel sick, Like
the pain is not just emotional, it is like physical.
And in my head, it was the first one I
had ever gone through, so in my head, I was like,
how am I ever going to not feel this again?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Like I don't know how to.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Get out of this, And what I did is I
looked for people who like had gone through breakups and
then I was like, where are they now? And like
there was one specific there was like a song I
think it was a Johnny Swim song or something like that,
and it was like so sad and so depressing. Then
I was like, they're married and they have children and
they're happy, and so that hope was like, Okay, I
(18:35):
know people can do this. People don't stay in this forever.
And it sounds so silly saying it now because I'm like,
it feels like dull people. Heartbreak doesn't kill people technically, yeah,
but you like depression pretty yeah, yeah. And so I
used that to like I looked for the depressing story
(18:56):
to then see how they got out of it, and
if they didn't, moment.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Took you borrowed their story, borrowed their story, Yeah, to
drink you up and get you moving and get you
out there and get on the apps. Yeah, download hinge.
I think about it. Without Hinge, you would not have
met your husband.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Technically, well that's not true. You would have met your boyfriend. Yeah,
well okay, what I sorry?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
But you know I had that other guy I dated
from Hinge, I wouldn't have had that experience.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
And that brought us a lot of I did bring.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Us a lot of joy.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It was cool.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
I still run into it and like he maybe, like
you brought him to my rehearsal dinner, Like who knows,
if he wasn't there, maybe something else would have happened,
and we don't know if like it would have been
the same.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
You know, do you remember the speech I gave at
your rehearsal dinner was so pretty perfect because we all
met on Hinge, and so I was like, so it
was only appropriate that I bring a guy I met
on Hinge and this is our second date and our
first date was only like a one an hour drink thing,
(20:01):
like we met for a cocktail for one hour.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Yeah, but I really wanted you to bring him. Yeah
you did also like what a good sport, And I
thought that, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I thought this is gonna be so fun. I'm gon
end up marrying the guy that I brought to cats.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And then I can hear that speech at year.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah I know, I really I mean not that I
really thought we're gonna get married, but you know what,
and then I had taken a trip with him, Well,
we went to the US Open. Yeah, so anyway, not
that this any of this matters. Like I don't even
know why we're going down this memory lane. But we
were with another couple and they were taking pictures and
like we weren't like together together. So but also I
(20:40):
was like, do we take a picture? And then so
we took pictures of them, and then I remember I
looked at him. I was like, should take a pic?
Like just in case, like just in case we end
up together together? Yes, so I have a picture of
us like on that rock, you know the rock in
New York. We did. We have a picture together, you
know the rock.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
But like, what do you think the message is that
he got when you're like just in case?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Oh, come on, do you think he was thinking that deep?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
No, you're right.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
He probably was like, sure, I'll take you just in case,
what like just in case we die. I don't know
what he was thinking, and I don't know why I
just give him that accent, but like I just like,
should we take a pic, you know, just in case?
(21:30):
And then I was like, here's my camera and so
now somewhere in my camera roll, I have a just
in case.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Pick because don't get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
If we ended up together, then like, yeah, we would
have wanted to pick on that rock.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Or like what if he becomes like super famous, then
you can be like we went to New York together once.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, so I have that just in case super famous
for what.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I know people got famous for anything. Now, yeah, he
could get a TikTok. I don't even he has social media.
Let's be honest. He was using Facebook, remember, yes, I
was like, not that that's bad any of our listeners
that do it at all, because like Facebook's a thing,
but like that was his primary upload.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I have an update on what.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
I don't want to change the subject, but on the
go for it. Okay, Facebook made me remember it. Speaking
of doing one task at a time, Yesterday, I was
on Facebook Marketplace because I'm looking for a bench for
my entryway. So if you have, if you see anything,
let me know. And I'm trying to Patina, so I'm
trying to get something used.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
And you know the bench in my injury way. You
don't the cute, it's cute, I probably do well. I
bought it on Facebook market Place.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Really, okay, I need to look at it after.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I need to never notice anything. I'm like, hey, do
you notice that? And you're like what, Sorry, You're just kidding.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
I'm not observant.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
So I got some motivation out of I don't know where,
because I went and checked to see if I made
it into the Facebook group yet my subdivision Facebook.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Group, and I haven't. So I messaged the board of
directors on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Okay, so this is the next right step. Okay.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
I don't know if they use that group anymore because
the last post was from twenty twenty four, but it
was like the next thing for me to be able
to do. If they don't answer, then I'm going to
look at who's on the board of Directors and directly
message them.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I don't look at my Facebook messages or I think
they're spam you know.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
So I'm fraid they're not gonna Well.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
You're gonna have to be intentional about checking your messages
if you really want to be in this group.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
No, I'm saying, if they get a message from me,
are they even going I'm looking to see if they
answered me, are they even going to open it? You know?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Oh? Well, I feel like if someone's when they're monitoring
a group like that.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
They haven't answered.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
I said, Hi, I've been trying to join the neighborhood
Facebook group since September when we moved in.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Can someone help me out? Smiley face. That's good.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
You talk to any of your neighbors that are part
of it.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Yes, My one neighbor that I knew before I moved in,
her she doesn't have Facebook, but her husband dies and
she said keeps saying I need to tell my husband
to send them a.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Message, but I don't want to. I don't want to
make a big deal about it because like, yeah, be cool.
I'm trying to be cool. But I've just brought it
up on this podcast for times.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Just you're moving forward, because the next thing after borrowing
someone else's story, borrow your neighbors. Yeah, borrow hope that
your neighbors in the group. Yeah, but like you're gonna
still move forward without clarity. You have no idea if
they're going to accept you, But you just keep moving forward.
Because that's another thing that my therapist has had to
drill into me, is that a lot of times I
want to know what's happening, and I've had to surrender
(24:45):
that control. But I you have to move forward to
the next right thing, the next right step, without full
clarity of what's ahead, what's in they.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Been.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
My ex husband and I had a good conversation today
that is a complete one eighty from where I was
yesterday with something we have going on, and I'm like,
what look at us? Like I just kept moving forward
yesterday doing the next right thing, and then the next
right thing. Things just started to I don't know, I'm
looking at it through a different filter, Like I put
(25:19):
on a different set of glasses, because instead of my
fear goggles, instead of my fear goggles, I put on
my like I want to just do the next right
thing and approach this with confidence and wisdom, so like,
take the facts right. So then I put on those
(25:40):
there's fear goggles, And what do I want to call them?
Speaker 4 (25:44):
I have an idea what I have human Well, you've
said like I'm open to creative solutions. I feel like, yeah,
this is a you've you came up with a creative solution.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Oh my gosh. That's when my Gaby Bernstein days, which
I'm sure a lot of people say that, but a
couple of years ago I was listening to a lot
of her stuff and that was Oh, I did my
sister and I did her twenty one day not meditate, yeah,
maybe meditation challenge. I think it was, yeah, meditation, but
manifestation maybe you know, I'll try it. Uh So I
(26:22):
forgot about that and that was such a good thank
you for reminding me of that. Oh good little nugget there.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Yeah, so your creative solution goggles?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yes? Is that a cute enough name for you? Said,
my creative solution cs I can either put on my
CSGS or my FG's Yeah, girl, yeah girl. You know
we like an acronym. So with my CSGS. Today, well,
I feel so much better and it's like we were
(26:53):
able to work together as a team. And this has
nothing to do with me and Ben by the way.
It's something we're having to work on together, but it's
not our relationship. And I'm like, look at us, and
this feels so much better and I feel good about it.
But I think if I was still wrapped up in
the fear and not seeing the next right thing and
also seeing good things in front of me, Like also
(27:13):
yesterday I opened up my email and I looked at
something with a different perspective where I could have been
annoyed by it, but instead I said, this is a
gift from the Lord. Thank you Lord for this opportunity,
because it's almost like, you know the cute story about
the guy praying in the flood for the Lord to
(27:33):
rescue him and then he ends up dying, and I mean,
I'm paraphrasing it just to get to the point. But
he gets the pearly gates and he's like, what's up?
Like I was praying to get saved. And Peter's like, hey, idiot,
like we sent you a boat, in a helicopter and
a but you kept waving it off, being like no, no, no, no,
the Lord's gonna save me. And it's like, you know
(27:53):
you got to have on the the LG's what's that
the Lord goggle? Oh, solutions. I'm open to creative solutions.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
The Lord gave you the creative solution goggles. Yeah, like
you accepted them. And this kind of reminds me of
what we learned about from Courtney cook shout out that
her positive attitude probably makes that food taste better, just
like you having a different outlook allows you to see
more opportunities.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Right, We did google that to fact check her taste buds,
because that is something that, yeah, is very good theory
of yours because I think, to quote you exactly, you're like,
she could eat gravel and be like, hmmm, crunchy.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
To put manaise on it, but then she would eat it.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
She spirt it with mayonnaise. M yummy. Because yeah, she
overall has a very positive demeanor and I love that,
and I'm not always going to be that way, but yeah,
I wonder if we're in a good mood or a
bad mood, like it affecting our taste greats.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Speaking of have you seen the videos?
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Won't do a whole podcast on her, but have you
seen the videos of her eating, like showing you her
pregnancy cravings.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I only saw one that she did with her daughter, like,
which I thought was really cute because she had her
daughter and she was like, Hey, this is what I
was craving when you were in my belly.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Do you remember what it was?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Something like popcorn dipped in something else, dipped in something else.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. This one was like
cottage cheese and pork rimes. Oh, and some kind of sauce.
Maybe it was mayonnaise, Like you must have been in
a really good you were having the pregnancy glow when
you ate that?
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Because what anyway, Yeah, LG's.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Cgg csgg fgese. You know what we need is we
need a feeling things dictionary that has all our acronyms. Yes, yeah,
that's the one that I can remember.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
This is pretty much the only one. I even though
we just came up with wtw oh yeah, wait to worry.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Yeah, and T B nope, n B D.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah that's not hard I know, but we're gonna use
it like s I B we literally made.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Yeah, we made that up. We'll put an asterisk on
ones that we didn't trademark T A s A P.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
BRP I K y k n k oh. I don't
even know that one, if you know, you know?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
I okay, why I know we should Well, no, we shouldn't.
I don't know how interesting would be if we went
through a list of all the like cool acronyms and
if we knew what they were, because like, how often
are you googling an acronym when your kids text you something?
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Thankfully they don't really use tons of like.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Do you know t d l R t l d R.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
T l d R No, I'm too.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Long didn't read, so people will like, no, no, no,
it's not no, no, no, no, no, it's not bad.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
It's actually helpful.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Like if somebody I think, I don't know, if somebody
writes a really long post at the end, they'll be
like t L D R and then they'll just give
like the short version of it. Oh, do you know
what f WW is? F ww fwww. No, No, think
it's just f WW for what it's worth?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
For what? What about the I? It's f I.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Don't think they put that in there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
F W i W.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Maybe maybe some people use that, some people don't.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Well, they need to keep it straight if they're gonna
do real acronyms. I need every letter because there's no
way I'm going to figure it out how our.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Dictionary will keep the eye. Anyway, just a little in
case you didn't know, we.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Have an email from I believe you say it's Zoe Zoe.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
How is it Zoe?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
It's Zoe z O?
Speaker 4 (31:50):
I E.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Zoe? Wow? And why language would that be?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Zo?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Zoe?
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Zoe Zoe Zoe. Hi, Amy and kat I just finished
listening to your episode about what you're watching and reading,
and I wanted to tell you that one. I love
Emily Henry books, so you made a good choice. If
you end up liking her books, I suggest you check
out Alie Hazelwood, Lucy Score, and Laura Gilmour. I think
(32:29):
you'll love her Dream Harbor series. These are a few
of my favorites. Two you said in your four books,
said that one of them is called You and Me
on Vacation. I just wanted to let you know that
that's actually the same book as people would meet on vacation.
They just changed the name for publishing in different countries.
So if you don't want to read it, since you've
already seen the movie, you can skip that one enjoy
your reading. And I was like, oh, dang, I thought
(32:50):
it was going to be a sequel or even a
prequel or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
You really only got three books.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I only got three books. Well, I mean I can
give the fourth away to somebody else that maybe wants
to read.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
It's nice.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
And then she was like, depending on which country it's for.
I'm like, did I order them in English?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Wait? Yeah, because why would they change the English name
on the English book if they changed the other.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I don't know. But then you know, you were like Hey,
what's the link that you got the four pack on?
And then I went to it and it was like
no longer unavailable, no longer available, like I bought the
last four pack.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
I guess, So what link did you give me?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I gave you the link, but there's you can't buy
anything from it.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Oh I linked that in our news.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I know.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I realized that after I was like, oh my gosh, yeah,
no I didn't. It's nothing I noticed right away, but
then I noticed like, oh, you can't even buy it,
like I must have bought the last one, which then
makes you think like did I really get books?
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Have they come yet?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Or they're like, finally someone bought that four pack?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
Wait? Has it come here?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, they've come, but they're still wrapped in their plastic
because I haven't opened them yet because I'm reading The Nightingale.
Oh yeah, pretty much done with that. And then once
I finished The Nightingale, which is so good, I'm moving
on to my other three books from Emily Henry and
then thanks to Zoe here, I gotta check out Ali,
Lucy and Laurie h Okay.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
So, also, I wonder if that sold out right after
the movie came out, because the people were probably buying it.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Oh good point, not because I certainly you scammed. Yeah,
like you got scammed for the weed of bis.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Oh my gosh, can we talk about that?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
So somebody, can I tell you?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I Can I tell you something right now?
Speaker 3 (34:33):
NBD?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Now can I tell it to you right now? So
you don't have something? And it's really not that big deal,
but like I don't I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
They don't like when I asked for permission to talk
about things because you want it to feel like I
can talk about whatever I want.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
That right there was more like girl, can we talk
about that? Like girl talk?
Speaker 4 (34:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Well, I thought we were going back to our old ways,
and like during the fifth thing, when it was like
my podcast and then you would be coming on as
a guest, sometimes you'd be like, ooh, can we talk
about this? But then when we joined forces and became
one podcast together, sometimes you would still ask that, and
I'll be like, stop, like you, it's just as much
yours as it is mine, So take it wherever you want. Girl.
If you want to talk about weed a bic, go
for it.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
But also, here's my thought too, because I do listen
to podcasts that have like multiple co hosts, and something
that does grind my gears is when a host is
telling a story and then the other hosts like hi,
or even when they're just interviewing, and when somebody hijack
jack something and then like you lose track of where
(35:34):
you're going because I interrupt you and I go over
on a tangent.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
So sometimes when I ask for permission, it's because like
I don't I have ADHD and I can't just let
you finish, and I want to make sure I'm not
derailing you because you might have you might be going
somewhere you know.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Oh that makes sense, so you're being considerate.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
And yeah, I'm always like they might allowed to talk.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Then my gears were grinding, and I was like, I
got to tell you something right now, stop okay.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
But that was more like we have to talk about this, like, girl,
can we talk about that? Because we posted that weied
debix video and we said like I think in the
video you were like, yeah, you paid fourteen ninety nine
for this, which I did, and then somebody commented that
you can buy it for forty nine at al.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Aldi Aldi, how do you say it?
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Aldi? And then somebody else said they got it for
five dollars on Amazon, So I went.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
And looked, and I checked.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I did pay fourteen ninety nine more than it, so
fifteen something with tex in that same link, same exact link.
Then was like on sale for five forty seven. I
paid three times as much. And then there's this fancy
button that Amazon has now where you can like click
it and a little chatbot will come up and explain
to you the price history. And it said that we
(36:52):
debix can be anywhere from like fifteen dollars to five
dollars average of for this it's the same box. Yeah, yeah,
isn't that weird? And I imagine it's the demand. So
I must have bought it at a hot time, hot.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Like you must have bought it when Oh, my boyfriend's calling.
Oh hey, do you want to answer it?
Speaker 3 (37:16):
No, I'm talking about Weeda bes. No, you can answer it.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
No, what am I going to say?
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Like somebody says funny things?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Oh? I just rejected him.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I wish my husband would call me. He's not at work.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Y'all don't call each other at work though, that's the thing. Okay,
that's like the there are there's almost like there's two
types of people in the world, those that like talk
while they're at work and those that just don't. And
Alex and I will call each other multiple times during
the work day.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Yeah, does he not like at an office?
Speaker 4 (37:46):
He has an office? Does he go to office? Where
is he like calling you when he's on his way somewhere?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
He has a stand up desk because sometimes I FaceTime
and he's standing up.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
And he can talk to you on the phone while
he's at work, and nobody's like, why aren't you working?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
He's the boss?
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Okay? Is true? That's true. I think that's a difference.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
I mean there's other so the way his company works, like,
yes he's CEO, but there are other there's a company
that owns their company and that so technically that guy's
in the building too, so technically he answers to those guys.
But like in his office, he's I mean, but okay.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
I know that we know this.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
When you just said that your boyfriend is the CEO, Like,
do you get to go to the company Christmas party
and be like I'm with the CEO?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
No? His company Christmas party was in New York and
I was like, well, oh am I going to go
because I would love to go to New York. Well,
first of all, it was on a weeknight and I
have work, so I couldn't go anyway. But he's like, also,
it's not plus one. So I was like, what, Yeah,
what kind of Christmas party is that? That's what I said, lame.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Oh, well, I guest Patrick's isn't either.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
They just do it like it's like after work and
everybody gets together and it's whole thing. And I'm like,
but I mean, you flew from Nashville to go to
this party.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Wait, that's actually Patrick's companies too, like they have I
think obviously in New York are somewhere where people will
all come down for the party and it's just like
one night after work and we're not invited. But for
some reason, I'm like, if you're the CEO, then you
can bring your whoever you want.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, but then at that party in New York, he's
but it's almost like he's head of some parts. But
then when he's there, there's people that are bigger fish.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Okay, you know it's still cool. You're that's cool. Yeah,
that's really cool. So that's why he can call you
during the day.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
So, so I've actually tested the waters because I'm like,
I want to talk to him.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
I would.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
I don't like going ten hours without talking to my husband.
And so I've called him before and he's just like,
what do you need something like It's like he's he
thinks that there's like a obviously there's an emergency, so
why she's calling me?
Speaker 3 (39:47):
So I don't want to scare him anymore?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Right, So, yeah, he's starting to be like who died?
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Literally, I'm doing to him what I don't want people
to do it. But also, now this has actually been
really tough for us.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
It's been tough for me. I don't think it's been
tough for him. So his office is getting in a
new office. So for the next couple of weeks he's
working from home, and for the past couple of weeks, so.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I'm home and he's home, but I can't talk to
him because he's working. Because he's working.
Speaker 4 (40:15):
One time I tried to give him a glass of
water and I walked in on a call, and I
think I embarrassed him.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
You're right, Wait a second, who cares?
Speaker 4 (40:25):
Right?
Speaker 3 (40:26):
Did they see?
Speaker 4 (40:27):
Well?
Speaker 3 (40:27):
I was in my robe and like had like my
retainer in and.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Like I had like.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah on you okay, but I opened the door.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
I cracked the door and I was like hi, and
he was he like threw his like headphones off.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
He was like I'm on a call.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Like I startled him. I think he was like, I
don't want you to interrupt me. So we're gonna have
to figure out a code of like when can I
we need a like a light on the door, like
we know when somebody's recording.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Like on air. Yeah, yes, like I'm on a call,
on a call, yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
Yes, speaking of did you you used to have like
the beads hanging.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
Down from your door when you're worse? Oh yeah? Did
you ever have a doorbell on your room?
Speaker 1 (41:06):
No?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
I had that too. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Did your dad install a doorbell? Well it was like,
I mean he's a builder, so like that would.
Speaker 4 (41:13):
Be really my dad didn't saw a doorbell. But you
do know he took my door off the hinges.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I do you know that?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:18):
No, it was like you know those like closet lights
that like just stick to the wall. Yeah, it was
like that vibe but it made a sound cute. Yeah, yeah, anyway,
that just needed to come out of my breath.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Yeah, should we get back to that.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
It could be something cute. No, I mean I just
had the email and I was thankful for that, and
then that took us on the weed to bix and
then you're but honestly, once I moved on to the email,
like I was done with my therapy revelations from yesterday
when because I was like, does the process even know
we're trusting it? And now I know it doesn't. It doesn't,
It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Doesn't need, it doesn't need exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
You still have to trust the process. You have to
do the next right thing. What's the next teeny tiny step.
You have to borrow hope wherever you can get it.
And then you don't have to know the full picture.
You have to move forward without clarity.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
I think that's the hardest one.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Those are the three things of trusting the process or
like trusting that you can trust the process. But you
can't just like trust the process.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
You have to trust that you can.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
You have to take action and those are little things
you can do, right.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
That's really helpful. I like that, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
There're little nuggets. Yeah, But anyway, therapy was so relieving.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
You were relieved, and I was released.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's worth every penny yesterday.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I see. That's the dream.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
If somebody leaves your office thinking that, like almost like
I would have paid double?
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Would you go that far?
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Mm?
Speaker 3 (42:48):
Like I already paid a lot. I guess.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
I mean, I suppose I'm my because we had some
good revelations, like even I haven't teared up in therapy
in a while, and I got choked up.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
Here's a question.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
But it had to do with my dad. So and
I remember she was like, stay with that, stay with that.
She's like, what's the what's coming up for you right now?
Stay with it, don't shut it down. And I was like,
I think it's for my dad, and maybe just some
I was taking on what I believe to be because
it's hard to know for sure because there was a
lot I was feeling. But I think in that moment,
(43:22):
especially being a parent now myself, like I was taking
on maybe some humility and that my dad was experiencing
like some humble pie of sorts and his pride and
how hard certain things must have been. But he didn't
really let me know. And I kind of lived in
lalla land, and I think that's why too. Maybe my
(43:43):
stepmom had resentment towards me. It is because she knew
all the facts and like I didn't, and that's probably
why it was annoying for her. But I mean, I
couldn't help them. I care. And then my therapist said,
you can't. Your dad was choosing to make those actions.
He was choosing to continue to pay for things, even
if stuff was difficult for him. He didn't want you
to know so like, and I'm like, yeah, but I
(44:05):
would have gone and gotten a job.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Like, yeah, I could go get a job, but I
want you to.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Right, But but why like he had to work so hard.
That's also what just just you know what grinds my gears.
It's like it would have taught me something like it
would have I would have had. Not that I don't
I have a poor work ethic, but I just think
I could have done that in high school and college.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
You didn't have a job in high school and college.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I mean I was a nanny for a little bit
in high school when I had part time, like my
senior year, I only had half the day, and then
I was a hostess for six weeks one summer, and
then in college, no I mean I worked at this
weight loss clinic one summer. I was toxic.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Ang I did not know you did it.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh my gosh, my job was too Wait.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
That's not funny, but like also like, uh, yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
It is a little bit because like I should not
like I a eating disorder, right, but I shouldn't.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
Have been currently and when you were working there like
I did when he was working there, such like now.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
I mean I wasn't active active in it, but I
definitely had a problem.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
But you don't you think that's part of what drew
you to go work.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
There, Probably because I thought I'm gonna have access to
all this diet knowledge. Yeah, absolutely, but like I was not,
like I I wasn't qualified to talk to them about
certain things, by what standards.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
To talk to them about anything?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Well, correct, But I did have the I part of
my duties.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah, I was allowed to weigh.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
And measure them, yeah, and then ask them what they ate.
They were supposed to come in a wig like every
thro three times a week or something, so you would
ask them, Okay, what'd you eat the last two days?
Because we would have a journal and jury of what
they ate the last time they came in and they
would feel like if they went up on the scale
and they would be like, I don't know why I
went up. And then I'd think, okay, well let's talk
(45:57):
about what you ate, and then I wouldn't you'd like
consult there. No, No, I just had to write it down.
I wasn't consulting. But in my mind, I'm like writing down,
and I'm like, okay, menudo like oreos, it's menudo menudo.
So we're in Texas, so in sort of like in
a South Texas park is where I was. But it's
a popular Mexican dish that is made up of all
(46:22):
parts of the cow, like very fatty. I don't think
it's a if there's.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
All parts, what do you mean, like the bones are bones?
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Wouldn't be but like like I don't.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
Test the liver and the like the what is it called,
like the giblets or something?
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Is that that's chicken giblets.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Or giblets giblets, Yeah, something like that. So I guess
I'm just clarifying that sometimes it was really guy would
be writing it down and'd be like, well, I know why,
maybe didn't. But I wasn't qualified to council on that
I just wrote it down and then I moved on
to the next person. But yeah, that was in college,
and it probably only worked there a few months and
(47:01):
then I don't even know. I think it's because I
was doing summer school there, because other than that, I
would always go home for the summer and I didn't
really work. But you know, I had a gas card
that he paid his gas card.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Yeah, and you're like, I could.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Have and it's like that that wasn't necessary. He should
have been like, you're paying for your own gas, you're
paying for your own insurance. Like here, learn how to
be an adult. And then no, wonder I have a
fear of like opening bills, like because I didn't really
have to open bills. But then also I knew, she said,
so much of what I struggle with is like such
on a subconscious level. It's like I knew there was
(47:36):
also issues with my dad, because I knew there were
times he went bankrupt, but then he always just bounced
back how because he was a businessman. That's just so
it was a roller coaster.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
That's like a lesson though of like sometimes this is
not what you're putting down. Let me know, sometimes we
think we're doing something that's really good for our kids.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
And then you learned it humble like the humble pie.
Speaker 4 (48:02):
Like you said, we learned like m it would have
been better for me to have her get a job.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Well, that's why passive parenting is so dangerous in my opinion.
It is certainly easier.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Yeah, but it is what so say passive parenting if
somebody doesn't know what that is.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
What do you mean by that, I'm not a parent.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Just it's easier to just let things slide slide? You don't.
You don't take the initiative to course correct or to
have consequences, to have boundaries, Like people thrive on boundaries.
They're really helpful. At times, I had no curfew at
my dad's house. I could have parties, we could drink.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Shut up, yeah you didn't. I don't think I knew this.
Speaker 4 (48:50):
Oh your dad was like, come over to our house
and drink, it's okay.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Well, he would mostly be out of town, be he's like.
I was like, well, I'm gonna have people over. And
he knew that we drank. He just didn't want to
deal with it. It was pat like, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
He left me that you drank. What would happen.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Oh, no, I was in trouble.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
So did they not talk to each other?
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Of Like?
Speaker 1 (49:10):
No, I would have parties at my dad's house. And
I didn't live with my dad. I lived with my mom,
so sometimes I would have to leave because I had
curfew at my mom's house. People would stay at my
dad's house.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Were you like a party girl in high school?
Speaker 1 (49:24):
No? I wouldn't say major major party girl. But I
think that you were cool, though I don't know. I
didn't feel cool probably yeah, So I don't know what
defines that. I felt very like I wanted to be.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
So, but yeah, those are my friends. They were cool.
And my best friend Andrea, she's actually coming to town
next weekend, so I'm excited to see her. But there's
a few of us. We all met when we were
thirteen and we still are friends.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Is she going to bet Alex?
Speaker 1 (49:54):
She is? Yeah, ble So Scott's great a Luke when
and we went to the Bahamas? Or No, not the Bahamas?
Where'd we go? Cayman Islands last summer. I'm in the
airport in the Cayman's and I look up and I
see Luke, which he's the other he was at all
these parties too, and I was like, Luke, I hadn't
(50:14):
seen him in years, and it's crazy to like see
your friends from that long ago. I got a random
airport in another country. Yeah, so that is just fun.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
Yeah, okay, well fun story.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
You were time, not bad you and your nickname was
little Jesus.
Speaker 4 (50:30):
Literally, but I I'm the one that got uninvited to
parties because there was drinking, So like, you are the
one hosting them?
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Would you?
Speaker 4 (50:38):
But but I hear in that is you would have
let me come to your party even if I didn't drink.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yeah, I I mean I probably didn't drink that night either,
because I had to drive all the way back home
to my mom's house. Yeah, and my mom and my
dad didn't live near each other. Yeah, so it was
Oh but I remember why one friend one night, she
got busted for having the party. My mom caught me
because one of my friends told her mom Hamsmin and
then I with Amy, and she just assumed it was
my mom's house, so she called my mom's landline to
(51:03):
talk to her. You know, this is before cell phones
and all that is Catherine there No, She's like, no,
I swear she's spend the night with Amy. She's like,
maybe she's so. My mom got in her car again.
They did not look close, and my mom the Holy
Spirit led her right to the door and I got
in so much trouble.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
She walked showed up at the party. Yeah, are you drinking?
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Probably because I was staying there. Who knows, I don't know.
And that was one time Jenna Bush. I went to
high school with them. And this has nothing to do
with like drinking. Did have a party? No, it's not
to do with drinking, although she got busted underage drinking
in the news. But we were doing a five k
the next day and we had been up really late
(51:44):
and we spent the night at my dad's house and
I we had registered and paid for the money, and
I really wanted to get up and go do the
five k, and she was like, no, let's just let
it go. I don't want to do it. And she
was like, I'm so tired. I want to sleep, and
I'm like no, we already read shirt like Noda and
she was like, you're the devil. And I was like
what she got? And she did it that we did it,
but did you die? I think she was annoyed with
me for sure.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
No, age, you can kind of bounce back different if
you did that.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Now, I don't think that.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Yeah, no, I think you so like, yeah we were
we don't this No, if your kid's listening, No, we
were stupid.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
But sometimes you just need a couple.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yeah, so there you are random, Yeah, jopped down memory lane.
I had no idea we would do that, but there
we are. Okay, anything else. This is a very diverse
episode to talk about a lot of things, and we
hope wherever you are, you are having the day you
need to have. Bye Bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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