March 17, 2026 • 47 mins
Big news! We’re getting a ‘Feeling Things Baby’ because Kat is officially pregnant! The girls celebrate, get emotional, and get real. Amy's birthday week is in full swing as she turns 45, and the ladies dive into what it actually means to hit the "eye of the storm" (that powerful, reflective sweet spot between the chaos of youth and the wisdom of what's next!) They open up about fertility, IVF, adoption, and the heartfelt complexity of becoming a mother in all the different ways it can happen. Plus: why adult sleepovers are actually emotional regulation in disguise, whether brick mailboxes mean you're rich, and the childhood money memories that shaped who they are today.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
and Cat gotcha cove and likeing no brother Lady's and pelts,
do you just follow anna spirit where it's all the
front and real stuff to the chill stuff and the
m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it jes stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Amy and Cat Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm
Amy and I'm Cat happy. Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Happy, Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
M hm, you're wearing green, I am so and you're
wearing black, so technically I could pinch you. But you
do have a green water bottle.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
But did you know I came in hot. I have
some Saint Patrick's a facts. Do you know originally the
color was not green?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
What was this blue? Why? But I thought it because
of the clover and the clover's green.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
They changed it because of the clover.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
But also as I realized it was Saint Patrick's Day,
I wondered to myself, what is Saint Patrick's Day?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
What does you know? I don't, which is it's.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Kind of crazy that we have do you Saint Patrick's Day?
But none of us know what. I think most people
don't know what it's for. It celebrates Saint Patrick bringing
Christianity to Ireland. But you know what's even more crazy.
I mean, that's not that crazy, I guess I have
heard that.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
It's just so interesting that if that's the origin, why.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Do you.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Lots of beer? Because the Irish they drink maybe that,
and it's like green beer, as everything's green.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But also I found out that the first Saint Patrick's
Day wasn't even or like the parade wasn't even in Ireland's.
It celebrated more I think in America than in Ireland.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Oh, I mean that makes sense. We love to have
an excuse pity do something.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, so happy Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I remember when I turned twenty one,
I went to bar in College Station. They served green beer,
and that's the first drink I was legally allowed to
buy because we were there at midnight. So we went
on the seventeenth and my birthday is the eighteenth, so
when the clock switched to midnight, I was officially twenty
(02:16):
one and I could buy my first alcoholic beverage, which
was a green beer. Did you enjoy it. I mean
it was fine.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, i'd had beer before. No, there's no way that
you would have done that.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah no, but that's yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So well, happy almost birthday.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
How are you.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Feeling feel good? Turning forty five or plus five is nine?
So I have no idea. I don't know, just kidding.
I don't even know if that's how you do it,
but I feel like if Cryoka was here, she's not today,
but she would have some Oh this is your year
of the I'm guessing maybe if you do split the
four and the five and add four plus five, does
(02:58):
it mean it's my year of the nine?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I don't know, And like, what does the nine actually mean?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Do you feel I know you're not there yet, but
does this feel like any kind of milestone or does
this feel like a birthday?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I guess I didn't really have a feeling of the
day for the episode, so I guess I will say
I am feeling older because my birthday is tomorrow, but
I'm not feeling old. Okay, so maybe that's because I've
been so proactive lately. Like I stretch now, Yeah, I
actually physically pay somebody to stretch me small, dude, that
(03:33):
also feels old. It's an old activity.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
We're going to reframe this because stretch labs are popping
up everywhere, so they must be hip and cool obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And when I walk in there are so many hip
and young people and they're getting stretched.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I bet athletes and stuff go there.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I haven't seen any You've just seen older men. I
haven't seen any yet.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, well, yeah, I know you just started this.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I'm really not feeling I feel good, though, I'm not
feeling old like I think. There have been birthdays in
the past where I felt older than I do now,
and I don't know what to attributed it to. Maybe
because this is the year of reading for me and
I've been reading way more.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
You would think that that would make me feel a
little old.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, I think it's exercising my brain. Oh, like I'm
on a good probiotic. I just feel like my gut health,
my brain health, my ligament health. We're feeling good.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, you know good?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
So yeah, good the big four or five. So that's
my feeling of the day. What's yours.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Uh, I'm feeling really tired but really excited because I'm pregnant.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
It gets pregnant, I get so nervous.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I knew that that was gonna be your feeling of
the day. So I was like eagerly waiting and smile
like trying to be like, okay, let's get I was like,
let's like, I know I'm gonna be like and speaking
of birthdays, Cat is gonna be birthing a baby.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Do you want to share what you wanted to say?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Oh, yeah, your baby's gonna be of Italian descent.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I thought you were saying, like a baby's gonna descend
from you.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, yeah, your baby will descend from you and your
Italian lineage. And then I was like, ooh, it's like
you're cooking a little lasagna and you're in you're little
you got a little lasagna in the oven. But really
it's not the size of a lasagna. The baby is
the size of a line So Kat told me a
(05:44):
couple of weeks ago, or.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Maybe I told you when I was seven weeks pregnant, Okay,
I had I told Patrick. I was like, I've got
to tell Amy because it is really hard for me
to like talk to you but not tell you what's like.
I was so tired, like another level, and it was
just like eating it. I was like, I can't keep
it phels, like I'm lying to her. I have to
(06:07):
tell her why I'm tired, or like you were going
to figure it out anyway.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, well I kind of thought, because well, are you
talking about the other stuff you do?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Well yeah, okay, well no, but I was just tired
in general. I didn't think you would figure that out.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I thought you were were tired because of that stuff
to say what that is?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Okay, say, I've been like saying.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I was like doing like an injection into my butt
because Kat was doing fertility treatment type stuff, and I
knew from the shots you were tired.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yes, So I did IVF. So I did take progesterone
shots in my booty every single night, and those like
put you to sleep. So that was a good excuse
because people knew I was doing that because I it
impacted like my social life, like I couldn't go out
past a certain time because I had to go home
and do my shot. But or you, I knew you would.
You wouldn't pick up on that because well I assumed
(07:03):
you when I guess you could have googled it. You
didn't know like you hadn't haven't done that, so you
wouldn't have known, like what that means that I'm doing
those shots? Yeah, but like other people like my sister,
if she knew I was doing the shots, she knew
where I was in the process, right you know.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, So you came over to my house with Patrick
and you gave me a T shirt that says Auntie Yeah,
and it's so cute. And that's how you told it. Well,
at first I opened it up. You were like, hey, Patrick,
and I just want to drop something off real quick.
I was like, okay, and so did you know? I
didn't know. Okay, I absolutely did not know. I thought
you were giving me something because what what was going
on with me during that time? I was I thought
(07:38):
you were just trying to you were having a hard time, yeah,
And I thought you were trying to make me happy.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Shoot, I thought you were.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Just bringing no, no, no, no like it did I want
happy to know? But I thought you were like, oh,
I want to bring you this because that's what you said.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
You decided me.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
You said I saw something that reminded me of you,
which I guess the shirt did. But you acted like
maybe you were out and about, and you saw something
and you were like, oh, this, I'm going to get
this for Amy. So then you act like you had
to drop it off, which you did, and then I
opened it up and it was a shirt that says
Antie with a little bow. It was so cute.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I was like okay, and I said, do you know
what that means? And you're like, yes, yes, it's like
your little kid. Do you know what that means?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I got I understood what it meant. But anytime I
think of Antie, I think of the Anti Ann's pretzel
that I had in the Denver Airport at Terminal D.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Which you did bring that up.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Oh really, No, it's like anytime because there's a bow
and the bow kind of looked like a pretzel too. Yes,
And I think that that pretzel was so life changing. Yeah,
that was in December that I ate that pretzel. And
now anytime the word anti is mentioned, I think of
that pretzel.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Take me back.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It was so delicious. So Cat's pregnant.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, it's been a long process. I don't know why.
I feel so like every time I've told somebody, I
get so nervous. But I don't know why, because it's
good news.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
It's exciting.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Maybe I wouldn't say. I'm usually somebody who doesn't like
a lot of attention on me, but I think I
am learning as I get older. I'm okay having attention
on me, but I don't want it to be about me,
if that makes sense. Like I'll tell a story or whatever,
but I would rather tell a story about you. You know, yeah,
maybe that could be wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Well, I love checking in with you to see what
fruit you are. Like I'll ask you what fruit are
you today, and you're like, it's a blueberry. And then
it's been other things like a golf It has not
always a fruit, because sometimes it was a golf ball,
but then now it's a line.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's always a fruit. There's the app I have. You
can look at it in like different categories like a fruit.
One of them's Disney. It's like Disney objects sports. That's
really weird. It's really weird. But some of the fruits
sometimes are hard. Like when I was a strawberry, I
was like, well, that's hard to understand because strawberries come
(10:04):
in different sizes. So then I used the golf ball
as mine.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
That size, that's a big strawberry.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
That's a big strawberry, That's what I'm saying. So, but yeah,
I like to use the fruits.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, mostly got it. Shannon looked up what turning forty
five means, I guess in the spiritual realm or what
would even call it, or in numerology. I don't know which.
I don't even know that I believe any of this,
but it's just fun.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Turning forty five is often viewed as the eye of
the storm. The eye of the storm signifies a transition
where the emotional chaos of youth is behind and the
physical realities of later aging have not yet fully set in.
It's a period of quiet, allowing for deep reflection. Spiritually,
the number forty five can symbolize a need for balance
between stability the four, and freedom and adventure the five,
(10:58):
encouraging a transformation of one's life.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Who do you think writes these things?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Though? The people from a long time ago?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Like, could I just start a website and like make
meanings for every birthday?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I mean, I don't think so, because numerology has been
around for a really long time, Like even like in
the Bible, numbers are used for symbolism.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah, so I could do that. But I would not.
I would be like.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Just making up a phony. Yeah, used to be phony,
and I don't want to be that.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
And there is some something to some of this sometimes, Yeah,
do you relate to any of this?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Well, it's also the year of the Horse, right, m hm,
I'm feeling some of that.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
No.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I looked it up one day and then I got
really confused because we were in the Year of the
Snake maybe yeah, and then we were transitioning and now
this year of the Horse, and it's like a I mean,
if it's for real, like this is it's a powerful
year for me. Not only am I turning forty five.
It's the year of the horse. Like, I got exciting
things happening, We got momentum.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh. I was gonna say, like, what is like the horse? Like?
Is that means something for everybody?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Like I guess I would summarize it as like big
things popping and happening. That's my that's my interpretation. So
specifically the year of it's the fire horse. Excuse me,
Shannon just looked it up for me. It's a rare,
energetic and intense sixty year cycle event associated with rapid change, passion,
and at times impulse, impulsivity.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Do you feel I told you passion.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
How it resonates with me is big things popping and happening.
I gave you, I tried to give you, my my, my. Yeah,
I'm paraphrasing it for myself. And so far in Q.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
One, you're popping. Big things have been popping.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Like I don't know when we transition to the Year
of the fire Horse, because it wasn't like January one,
it was a couple it was the Chinese New Year, right. Yeah,
people that are listening right now, it's totally into this.
They're like, oh my gosh, y'all are butchering this. But
I will say I've stepped forward into some things that
I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm stepping
(13:12):
into them finally, like stuff I've had on the burner,
Like I literally had a meeting this morning that is
taking another step towards something I really wanted to do
for a while. And I'm going to take another step
and another step, like it will happen this year, and
so obviously it's happening this year because it's the Year
of the fire Horse.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, it has to.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And I have been making some bold moves like there
was a transition in our company with somebody, and instantly
when I saw it, I thought, oh my gosh, I
need to send some emails. So I did based on
what I saw happening, and I was proactive. I don't
know that last year I would have had that same energy.
(13:52):
I think I would have been like, oh, well, that's interesting.
I hope maybe they call me. But instead of hoping
they call me, I put my name in the hat
immediately with multiple people. I even talked to Bobby about it,
and he gave me advice of like he goes, make
it so obvious and send it to so many people
that if, in fact they do have to end up
telling you no, they're gonna hate it. It's gonna feel awkward.
They're gonna hate telling you no. And I was like, oh,
(14:16):
tell me more like that bit of people it was,
but I just went I was like, oh, well, I'm
going to take this advice that I'm being given and
I'm just gonna go for it. I think that whatever
this energy is, I guess I am feeling it, whether
it's like because I know it's the year of the
fire Horse, and I want to lean into that energy.
Or just naturally happening, because maybe there's a lot of
(14:37):
that energy going around, but I'm seeing things through a
different lens, and there is more of a mph about me.
That's being like the text messages and the emails that
I sent and I fired off, and they're already leading
to something like got an opportunity to fly to Austin
and host a red carpet thing that I was not
slated to do. But then that might lead to something
(14:59):
that come up in LA, which might lead to something
that come up in New York, which might lead to
something that I really want to do in Austin in May.
But I don't know if it will. But I'm gonna.
I'm trying to. I'm not sitting back and waiting to
be like, oh, maybe that will happen. And I feel
like I have had that energy before, which is okay.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
It's also, I think easy for a woman. I think
that's what we're taught to do. Like when you were saying,
Bobby told you to make it so uncomfortable for them,
women are taught to make people feel comfortable, and so
it's extra effort for us. That's not like our go
to I mean, some people Obviously people have different personalities,
but I think generally, as a woman, our go to
(15:40):
is to like I'm gonna wait for them to come
to me and be polite about it and not like
ruffle any feathers versus I get to be bold and
go after what I want. That is more masculine energy,
which is looked at differently when you're a woman than
when you're a man, where it's like he's a go
getter and he knows what he wants. She's pushy.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah, I do think that.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I not that you're pushy.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, I do think that. I still was very polite,
and I definitely still used like an exclamation point here
and there, just to keep it feminine, just to keep
that feminine.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Energy, I think it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But I did say like sorry for bothering you, or
you know you, it's okay, If not, it's okay. Yeah.
I didn't. I left out all of that language like
all good if you've got another person in mind, yeah,
or hate to bother you.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I just was.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I was short and brief and to the point, but
I was still kind and thoughtful and polite. I think
I hope they just see it as like oh Amy's
eager I had no idea she would even want to
do this. We hadn't considered her. Let's put her on
the short list. Yeah, and then we'll see what happens.
And girl, I feel like there is a boldness in me.
(16:53):
And maybe it's just the wisdom of you know, almost
being forty five. Now, maybe it's the because yeah, now
I'm forty five, which I did see something. Shoot where
was it? I don't know, but I saw that for
women ages forty five to fifty five can be such
a creative season for us. Really, I wonder if part
(17:15):
of don't ask me more, because I was gonna say, I.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Wonder if a part of that is once you reach
a certain age, like you care I'm assuming this is
coming from just nothing like maybe you care less about
what people think and you're more like, oh, life is short,
Like if I want something, I have to go after it.
If I want to try something, I'm going to try it.
And so you kind of like shut down a little
of your ego and so creativity can come out easier.
(17:40):
Oh potentially that's just from your therapy, just from the
dome as you would say.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I mean, I don't I don't hate that reason I
also think of depending on when you have kids, you've
done a lot of the raising, and then their kids
are more at a point where they're self sufficient and
they're in school, and you can have more time to yourself,
so you have more bandwidth than you had before too.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Your brain. The space has been opened up again for
you to to do that.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm feeling I guess literally had a feeling and then
it just left my brain. So this is also this
is also an age where pyramidopause does that and just
things escape your brain. But Shannon did just look it up,
and she said research suggests that ages forty five to
(18:34):
fifty five often represent a peak period for experimental creativity,
which relies on experience, knowledge, and refined skills rather than
the rapid conceptual leaps of youth. I'm in my golden age.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Maybe you can be more creative because there's already more thoughts.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
In your brain. Yeah, and also because I'm reading more.
Don't sleep on reading.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I read with my ears. I know.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I think that if you consume books through audio or reading,
even if you're consuming it through audio, you're still imagining
a whole story in your mind. You're still having to
use parts of your brain that you wouldn't if you're
watching a TV show, the work is done for you.
I think whether you're reading or listening, you're still exercising
(19:35):
your brain in a way that is creative and opening
up certain parts that you don't get to always use.
So I think listening or read, I mean I do
both obviously, and I do think that it has been
just a little nugget this year. There's been a gift. Yeah,
it's been a gift. I can't explain it.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yay, reading is a gift.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So I wanted to say not to make this about
me again, but I did want to say I feel
like it's important because we've talked about, and we've had
listeners right in about like infertility and stuff like that,
and I don't want my which this is a little
bit of me people pleasing and all that, but also
(20:17):
it's authentic too. I don't want the pregnancy announcement to
go without also acknowledging that, like hearing that for some
people could be very hard and I know that, and
I mean you've talked about, like you know what that
feeling is like, and so I want to be sensitive
to This is a very exciting season for me, But
I know some people are still in this season that
I have been in, and if you are, then I'm
(20:40):
thinking of you. And I've had a weird relationship with
our pregnancy journey because we did have to do fertility treatment,
and I don't mind talking about it. It's not a
secret at all. We did IVF, and it's not I
keep saying like I would ever choose to do that
(21:01):
if I didn't have to, Like it's a lot of shots,
it's a lot of appointments, it's a lot of money,
it's a lot of emotional energy. And our experience went
really well, Like every milestone we had through that process,
we got relatively good news, and I say relatively for
like having to do that like no again, And so
(21:25):
it feels weird when you get to the end of
it to be like, oh it worked when you were
in this community so long with people that are struggling,
Like when we left the fertility clinic the last time
we went and we had like an ultrasound, he printed
off a picture and I remember leaving and somebody, as
I'm leaving, one of the nurses was like congratulations, And
(21:45):
I wanted to be like sh and I like hid
the ultrasound picture when we were walking out, because I
was like, I don't this is a safe space for
people that just get to be like, we're all in
this together, and it feels it's like almost survivor's guilt
kind of like obviously we're so happy, and at the
same time it's like, oh, this is like a it's
just a weird space, which I imagine other people feel that
(22:07):
in different ways, like if you're I mean, if you're
going through cancer treatment or something, and like you like.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
The hospital you ring a bell, like if you're done
with your radiation when people ring a bell and some
people are still there for their radiation appointment.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Which I guess also that could be very it's hopeful, yes,
but when you're the one it's weird, when like you're
the one that like it's it's this weird survivor's go
is the only way I know how to describe it,
where it's like so happy and also it's like, well,
I want to give a piece of this to everybody.
So I just wanted to make sure I said, like,
we're so excited. This is a dream come true and
(22:43):
a prayer answered. And I know a lot of people
are still waiting for their answer, and I don't have
the right thing to say, but I just want people
to know I'm thinking of them.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, I think, you know, just to piggyback off of that,
people appreciate hearing that from you, and you're does give
hope and they know they're not alone in it. And
in the emotional expense, the financial expense, the the fear.
(23:13):
I remember for me making the decision to not pursue
any type of fertility interventions. We did try clonid, which
is a pill that essentially makes your eggs more attractive
to the sperm. I guess in Layman storms that I
didn't last very long on that because I suck cuckoo
(23:33):
for cocoa puffs on it. And then that led to
us going the adoption route. And as you're telling that story,
I'm even thinking back to when we were trying to
get pregnant and I was like, that was our number
one prayer, like just I really wanted to get pregnant,
and that prayer wasn't answered. And then fast forward, now
(23:55):
we became parents in a way we didn't expect and
ended up adopting not even our original adoption plan, which
was a newborn from America. We ended up going with
older children from Haiti and giving them a chance at
life that they otherwise never would have had. And of
course I didn't know during the our fertility struggles that
(24:19):
that was going to be our ultimate plan. So I
share that part of just like if you are in
the season of waiting or you're wondering why is this happening,
switch the why to what, because there's there is our
question here, what is now possible from this? Okay, we're
not able to get pregnant, so what are our options now?
(24:40):
And it's either go down the fertility route. But I
did have fear of like, what if we spend all
this money and do all this energy and it still
doesn't work, because that is reality for some people. And
I just felt in my heart like that's just not
the route we're supposed to go. I felt like adoption
was more of a guaranteed thing if we're going to
(25:01):
put a lot of emotions and energy and finances, which
adoption is all of the above as well. So it's
same but different. And that's where we landed and I
wouldn't change that. So just know if you are on
that journey or it's not going exactly how you thought.
There is hope for a different a journey. It literally
(25:25):
maybe looks so different than what you had pictured in
your mind, because my situation certainly does. And if you
have a desire to be a mom or dad, it
just may look a little different than how you thought.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, there was I've shared this before, but there was
somebody that told me when I was talking about like
struggles with infertility and creating a family whatever that looks like.
She's also a therapist, and she said she tells her
clients like, just because you aren't getting what you want,
it doesn't mean you get nothing. And that was very helpful.
Like that even makes me like tear up a little
(26:01):
bit that like, Okay, I have to be I need
to create some flexibility in my mind. That like I've
had this idea of what creating a family will look like,
But just because that doesn't happen doesn't mean I get
nothing at all. There's still so much one there's still much,
so much other stuff in my life outside of just
having children, So that's where I also can pool from.
(26:22):
But also like having children might look different, and that
doesn't mean I get nothing. I was thinking that when
you were talking about like your journey was different. Quote again,
just because you didn't get what you wanted, it doesn't
mean you get nothing.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Just because you didn't get what you want doesn't mean
you get it.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
You get nothing. Yeah, and there's a finesse I think
when sharing that was somebody who's struggling, kind of like
how we've talked about, like there's a finesse with when
to say what does this make possible? Yeah, we get
to have the moment where we're grieving and we're sad
and we're like, this isn't what we wanted. And then
once we were sitting with that for a little bit,
then we can open up this idea. Okay, but it
(27:04):
doesn't mean that you get nothing here, like what do
you have? And I even I mentioned this kind of
like incognito months ago, I think on the podcast when
I was I think it was when we were talking
about the drama triangle when I was saying, like we're
I said, like we're struggling getting pregnant naturally, and I
(27:24):
might have just said shrilling getting pregnant. And I sat
with that because it was really hard for me at first,
like I just wanted to like be normal, be intimate
with my husband, and then like take a pregnancy test
and get to surprise him with it. But it didn't
look like that at all. It was for me. It
was awful, and I think he wasn't enjoying the process either.
(27:45):
I had like seventeen different like ovulation tests that I
was taking, and everything was so timed, and our life
was like revolved around like Okay, when do I think
I'm going to ovulate? And then when I don't, it's
like then I'm upset. Like then I'm taking seventeen pregnancy
tests and they're all negation, but I'm like, maybe one
of those wrong, but like, you know, you're not pregnant, right,
And so I wanted us to have that like fun
(28:06):
experience or even I'm like, what if it accidentally happened,
is that'd be crazy? And so I had to think like, okay,
just because this isn't easy and this isn't happening this
way going the IVF route. I'm one hundred percent honest
when I say this, I would not choose that if
I didn't have to. And I am so grateful for
(28:29):
what it gave to not just a baby, but gave
to Patrick and I as a couple. It brought us
so close, Like I got to see him do things
that like I never imagined him do doing and he
took his role so seriously and it was just a
really sweet moment. And we didn't share. We shared with
(28:50):
people close to us, but there was often details we
weren't sharing because we were like in this little thing together.
So yes, I didn't want to do that, but I
got something more than like I imagined out of that.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I love that. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. It
was special to hear. And also I'm picturing Patrick being
so sweet and helpful and to Yeah, they were gunning
your butt, like he had.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
To mix all the medicines and put them in this ringe,
and like we had this like cute little ritual we
would do when we were doing the progesterone shots, even
when we were doing the agg retrieval shots too, But
it was just like it became our little thing, and
like it was like, okay.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Which I know, I'll just say this something that some
of the sacrifices you were having to make, Like everybody
around you knew what y'all had going on, but other
like listeners didn't know. Like we had the thing at
Top Golf. It turns out you enkep not feeling well anyways,
but also that was gonna be the first night of
your shots. Yeah, and they had to be at a
(29:56):
specific time, and you were like, I can come to
the Top Golf event, which we had so many listeners coming,
and I know you wanted to be there, but that
was one of those things where it was like, oh, yeah,
I cat can't be here. But now to see it's
almost like that there's the fruit from that, like you
had to you really wanted to be there, Like you
had to sacrifice certain things. And I'm just giving that
(30:17):
one as example. There were other things that came up
where were like, oh I can't do that, or oh
I've got to get home at this time, or oh
and you can't always explain to people and they don't know.
And it's like, oh, but now, yeah, because because I
was trying to make a little baby and now there's
a baby outside of me, got that.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, I was like I'll come and I'll just go
to the car and do them. But like some of
them had to refrigerated.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
It would have been so bad, like for you to
come to Top Golf and I go out feel like
I come back. No, no, no, you and Patrick need
adult y'all's like you said you were had your sacred
little bubble at home where y'all were able to do
that together. And I just that's one of those things.
If somebody happened to be listening right now and they
were at top Golf for the fun. No, I'm thinking
(31:01):
they might be listening right now and they might want
to know, Oh my gosh, that's what that's what was
going on with Cat, Like that's so cool and now
she's pregnant.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, And what's interesting about that is I was thinking,
like at first I wasn't feeling good, but I was like,
I'll figure this out, like we'll pack a cooler whatever.
But I would say, if anybody is going through this,
I wasn't aware of how emotional I was gonna be
about what we were doing. Like it felt like no
big deal to me at first, because I was like,
(31:27):
I've accepted that we're doing this. This is just from
taking a couple of shots, like no big deal. But
then when he did it, I had this moment of
like like I didn't like booho cry, but I did
tear up and I was like, I'm feeling really emotional
and I was not expecting to feel this way, and
so I am glad that I was at home that night. Yeah,
because then I'd be like, stuck it up. You got
(31:48):
to go back in there and act normal. So yeah,
that's where I was.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
That's where Cat was, and I was covering for you.
Don't worry. And I hope you know is those that
love you want to support you that like we wouldn't
like you were exactly where you needed to be. Yeah,
and now I got a baby in your belly.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Baby, Oh, and I can share it's a girl.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
It's a girl.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah, it's a girl. Line, it's a girl. It's
a baby. Girl live, which we when you do IVF,
you could choose if you have both genders or sexes embryos,
but we didn't look at I don't know. Out of
the embryos that we did get, I don't know the
sex of any of them. So we just said, put
(32:32):
the best one. They grade them like K put the
best one in. And I was like, I feel like
it's going to be a boy. Because everybody that I've
known that's done IVF, not everybody, but most people have
had boys, So I'm like, maybe male embryos are stronger.
I don't know, it's a girl.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
It's a girl. I didn't know if you were saying that.
Then I thought, oh, shoot, you just said that there
was a bow on my anti shirt and that the
bow might give away that it's a girl. And I
didn't know if you were saying anything, so I didn't.
I just kept quiet. You're like at a bow and
I'm like, yeah, which reminds me of pretzels.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Well, I didn't even think about the bow for being
a girl.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Did I know it was a girl when I told.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, because you put it you had a pink bow
on the back.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
I know you were excited about this because you have
a question that doesn't come up, and you love questions
that don't come up. And I have no idea what
the question is.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Okay, Okay. So on my drive here, I saw a
brick mailbox, and when I was younger, I in my
head I was like, Okay, if you have a brick mailbox,
you are rich. Like interesting, that is. I'm like when
I went at my friend's house and they had a
(33:50):
brick mailbox, I was like, they have money, and so
I was just wondering because that was one of the
things in my childhood. I was like, Okay, that equals
that brick mailbox. Your parents are doing pretty good, so
are I was wondering. Are there things as a kid
that you were like, if they had that, they were wealthy? Well,
and do you relate to the brick mailbox.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
I have not thought of that. I had a brick
mailbox growing up, So.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
You were like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
And we had a pool. Oh my gosh, we were loaded,
except for behind the scenes we were not.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Because I was going to say. The other thing that
I think of is like, if you have an in
ground pool, yeah, you also have money.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Okay, so we we did. I do think obviously there
was seasons where my dad had money and then he
did it, which is one of the reasons why my
parents up getting divorced because my dad went bankrupt. So
we still we lived in a neighborhood that had money.
So I don't know that I have this like we were.
I never even saw myself as real like I thought
(34:52):
other people in our neighborhood, which they did, had so
much more money than we did. But it's like we
were all still in the same neighborhood, and we were
a very neighborhood in a bubble, Like our neighborhood was
way far out, like nothing else was around us, and
it was a golf course community. So I guess I
would think like the houses that were on the golf course,
like if their backyard was a hole, yeah, they had money.
(35:13):
What about like I was across the street, so like
to only be a I know, but that's part of
my Like I've had to work through this in therapy,
like my the mental gymnastics I played as a child
to keep up with the Joneses as a child, obviously
I didn't have money to keep up. It wasn't like
(35:34):
I was trying. I wouldn't try to buy things. I
would just try to have conversation or stories that like
oh yeah, yeah, my parent you know, because my friends
were my dad had just left and we weren't taking
like trips or vacations we used to, but then suddenly
like everything stopped. So I kept up the like, oh, yeah,
(35:54):
we're taking this trip like or we're going here, which
I'm sure my friend's parents knew our situation, like the
adults probably knew. Yeah, I think it was news that like,
my dad left and probably bankrupt, and he found a
younger wife that thought he had money. I don't know.
I think for where she was coming from, my dad
(36:15):
still had money, and then I think she realized like, oh,
this is going to be more work because he would
always bounce back. He just had He was like a
rob condoscer.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
He was he was He.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Got excited about things, and he wanted to go all in.
And I loved my dad and I loved his heart
towards things. I just think, you know, so, did you
didn't make a lot of the best decisions.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Did you feel the instability as a kid with money.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I don't know that I fully felt it. No, I
don't think I fully felt it. To answer that question,
I think I had an idea. Something's often something's very
different about me and some of my friends in this neighborhood.
So I need to make sure I keep up with
stories like I'll get real vulnerable with you. I've told
my therapist this. I've never said it out loud or whatever,
but I will. No, I guess, okay, okay, my dad's
(37:05):
friend had this farm with horses. It was beautiful and
it was someone my dad also did business with or whatever.
But we had all these pamphlets and like pictures of
these horses or whatever, and I would act like like
my friends would ask and be like, oh, yeah, we
go there, that's our farm or something.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
But that was my that was the facade. That was yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
I was like, I don't have anything to like. I mean,
these are my friends, like their parents are buying. Like again,
I think my mom was trying to do us a
favor by staying in that neighborhood so that we had
some stability. She only stayed there because my dad gave
her the house, like he said, you take the house,
I'm leaving, it's yours. So for her, moving would have
(37:54):
been an expense. And then also it would have taken
us away from our friends, our school, like it just
would have been a disruption. And she was a stay
at home mom. So then my mom had to get
a job. So suddenly I went from a mom that
was home and very present and always around and like
played tennis to like she never then I never saw
(38:14):
her go on like play tennis or walk and to
working all the time. And that was very different. And
where all my other friends their moms, A lot of
them stayed at home and played tennis, which I'm not
I'm not like saying like woe is me at all.
It just as a child, you notice something is very different,
(38:35):
and like as I remember as a kid going to
Disney and Hawaii and then that sort of stuff just stopped.
But I'm in a neighborhood where my friends are still
having those experiences or their parents are buying new cars
and this and that, and I'm like, oh, yeah, this
is my horse. I don't know, like it's very sad
(38:56):
to think back on it, like doesn't make sense. And
I know exactly who I told that too to this day,
and I brought it up in therapy, and I feel
like I want to call that person and be like,
I have no idea what I told you that I
never had a whrse And he might be like, it
was it was a guy friend in my neighborhood, and
he would be like, and you have no idea what
you're talking about. And he probably doesn't even remember. But
(39:19):
I know I know for a fact if he went
home and said something about Amy was showing me pictures
of her whatever, I know for a fact his parents
to be like, what she did.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Not have that how old were you when you did that?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Nine?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Okay, that's different than you're like sixteen? Yeah that actually, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I grew out of it. It wasn't a it wasn't
a Thankfully for some it may be a pattern that
continued continues. It was not a long drawn out thing.
It's just something. In fact, I remember it so well.
I remember the exact moment and it was on my
bulletin board and the questions he was asking, and then
I just built this story around his name. Well I
(39:57):
didn't have okay, if I named it, I don't remember
that part, but I do remember enough about the experience
that it stayed with me as like an icky of like,
why oh.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Did I do that? That's so interesting that you feel
so dick about it? Because when I hear that, I'm like, you,
sweet nine year old who just was like trying to
like feel like okay and like cool enough or good
enough or whatever. I don't I don't feel like, eh,
you lose her, you little liar. I'm like, that's actually
really sweet, and I want to give her a hug.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I remember too, my mom trying to cut costs of
like everything, like there most people aren't even out a
lawn service. That's just the way that I'm so that
would be enough tun if you have a break mailbox,
if you have a lawn service or whatever. So then
my mom had a start. She started doing the yard work,
and then I would try to help her, but then
I was embarrassed. And then sometimes she wouldn't even have
(40:50):
time because she was working full time. In our yard
would kind of get out of control. And when you're
again in a neighborhood where all the yards are pretty
well kept and manicured. I remember I lived in a
cul de sac and my neighbors in the middle of
the cul de sac. I was obsessed with their house
and they would leave town and they would have me,
you know, water their plants and do stuff. And I
(41:10):
would go over there and water their plants and pretend
their house was mine.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
I'm just watering my house as.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Plays yes, like I live here, and I would think, like, Maud,
he's so awesome if this is my house. And they
were literally my neighbor, and I mean my house was fine,
but I of course I saw all the things raw.
I just wanted to escape my life. But anyway, back
to my yard. Sometimes my mom wouldn't get around to it.
And our church, we had a really good church community,
(41:38):
and they were very great about taking care of my mom.
And I remember sometimes my sister's boyfriend who she's now
married to, and then my ex husband too. Sometimes our
pastor would get the youth group, y'all need to go
over to miss Judy's house and help her with the yard.
And so the boys from the youth group they would
come over and like do the yard for us, which
was such a sweet gift for my mom or even
(42:00):
my pastor himself, like sometimes you'd be like, Judy, I'm
gonna come over and take care of your yard for
you today, because we had to our front yard. It
was laborists on my mom. It was a big front yard,
so it'd take a while to mow, and that was
really special for me to see. But also I just
felt it was also like embarrassing that it was still.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Yeah, but it's.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Weird because you know, people like I feel even silly
saying this stuff out loud, because people like we want I
cryme me a river. We're like, okay, Like I had
to get food from the church or food stamps or whatever.
So every it's all relative, yeah, relative to your situation,
and that was just what I was experiencing at the time,
(42:43):
and that my child brain couldn't process and it went
from living one way to things changing overnight. Yeah, and
so I was just doing the bets that I could.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I don't hear it while I crime me a river.
I think that that because.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Because I'm not there now, I'm just thinking of like
where I was.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
That's also you're saying, like I went from this to
this it was jarring and confusing, and like I was
comparing myself to the people around me. I also had
the brain of a nine year old, and that's how
much I can Actually that's why like as nine, as
a nine year old, I can see like, yeah, that
is scary in all this stuff. As an adult, you
can look back and say, okay, this makes sense. It
actually wasn't my fault. There was nothing wrong with me.
(43:23):
I was trying to survive all of that. I don't
I don't want you to feel like you're not allowed
to have feelings about that sounds like a big deal
for a kid to go through.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I'm okay with it now. But so so anyway, I
had a brick. I had a brick mailbox.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
To bring it back.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I don't have a brick mailbox now though.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
But there are brick mailboxes in your neighborhood. There are, yeah,
huh there. But what's interesting is like you could have
a brick mailbox in front of like a shack. Like
there's all. It doesn't actually make sense, like a brick
mallox does not equal that, but in my head as
a kid, it did.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
It did.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And like I don't have one now,
and so maybe I've disappointed myself.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
But I don't. I don't either. I feel like I
have that. I like Mi, mine's a cute, little iron one.
I think it's cute.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Patrick had a brick mail box in his last house
when I met him, and our house now is nicer
than that house.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Yeah, so you're like.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Yeah, yeah, I would not trade the houses for the
brick mailbox.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Your method of determining.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
But it just was holly to think back and think about, like, oh,
I used to really think that.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
So that was your questions that don't come up. Yeah,
I'm sorry that led us to that's okay. Somewhere we
weren't planning on talking like I was gonna it's beauty
tell you that we need to have an all girls
slumber party before you have your baby.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Do you want to do that? Well?
Speaker 2 (44:46):
Because I saw this whole thing on adults having slumber
parties adult women. I mean, I guess guys could have
it too if they want. But if you like, when
you think back to being a child, did you ever
have slumber parties with your girlfriends?
Speaker 1 (44:58):
One hundred pcent? But you know, kids don't really do
that anymore. A lot of kids don't.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah, but some still do.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Some still do, but I've learned recently that a lot
of kids don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Yeah, it's kind of scary out there. Yeah, I get that,
But if you've got here, it's very different.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Corp.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yes, as an adult, you don't have to worry about
anything creepy happening. But it was this article I saw
all shout the person out specifically Jamie Aroona KREM's director
of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research. Okay, serious legit.
She did research in a friendship and emotional bonding and
(45:37):
found that it suggests that shared spaces and extended time
together strengthens connection and well being. When people feel safe
and comfortable enough to stay overnight, they are often more
willing to be emotionally vulnerable, and that is the point.
Sleepovers allow for late night chats, no judgment, laughing until
(45:58):
you cry, crying until you la, And so what feels
like a teenage ritual is actually emotional regulation.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Okay, I'm down to have a sleepover.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So maybe it's time to plan an adult sleepover.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Yeah, with no pranks.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
You don't have to have any pranks, like just.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
You know, like they dip your hand in water and
see if they pee. Did you ever do that while
they're sleeping?
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (46:20):
And the freezer underwear mm hmm yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
And none of that, no pranks. The requirements would be
good food, yes, a good movie, es, good maybe question
card game type things, good games yeah, like board games, activity, good.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Non alcoholic drinks because.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
You're pregnant and I yeah, and I don't. I don't
think you have to have alcohol. Good little mocktails yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Or just diet coke. I'd be okay with too, which
I can't have a lot of that right now. Yeah,
I can have one every once in a while. My
doctor said, oh yeah, yeah, don't worry, I check. That's
what I do.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Anyways, I probably have one every once in a while yeah, no,
matter what.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
It was more about the artificial sweetener than anything else
in the caffeine. But there's not that much caffeine in
it anyway.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
So sleepover time. Yeah okay, Well, wherever you are, whatever
you're doing, call some girlfriends, get on together, have a sleepover,
and have the day you need to have.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Bye. Bye,
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
and Cat gotcha cove and likeing no brother Lady's and pelts,
do you just follow anna spirit where it's all the
front and real stuff to the chill stuff and the
m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it jes stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Amy and Cat Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm
Amy and I'm Cat happy. Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Happy, Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
M hm, you're wearing green, I am so and you're
wearing black, so technically I could pinch you. But you
do have a green water bottle.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
But did you know I came in hot. I have
some Saint Patrick's a facts. Do you know originally the
color was not green?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
What was this blue? Why? But I thought it because
of the clover and the clover's green.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
They changed it because of the clover.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
But also as I realized it was Saint Patrick's Day,
I wondered to myself, what is Saint Patrick's Day?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
What does you know? I don't, which is it's.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Kind of crazy that we have do you Saint Patrick's Day?
But none of us know what. I think most people
don't know what it's for. It celebrates Saint Patrick bringing
Christianity to Ireland. But you know what's even more crazy.
I mean, that's not that crazy, I guess I have
heard that.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
It's just so interesting that if that's the origin, why.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Do you.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Lots of beer? Because the Irish they drink maybe that,
and it's like green beer, as everything's green.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But also I found out that the first Saint Patrick's
Day wasn't even or like the parade wasn't even in Ireland's.
It celebrated more I think in America than in Ireland.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Oh, I mean that makes sense. We love to have
an excuse pity do something.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, so happy Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I remember when I turned twenty one,
I went to bar in College Station. They served green beer,
and that's the first drink I was legally allowed to
buy because we were there at midnight. So we went
on the seventeenth and my birthday is the eighteenth, so
when the clock switched to midnight, I was officially twenty
(02:16):
one and I could buy my first alcoholic beverage, which
was a green beer. Did you enjoy it. I mean
it was fine.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, i'd had beer before. No, there's no way that
you would have done that.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah no, but that's yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So well, happy almost birthday.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
How are you.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Feeling feel good? Turning forty five or plus five is nine?
So I have no idea. I don't know, just kidding.
I don't even know if that's how you do it,
but I feel like if Cryoka was here, she's not today,
but she would have some Oh this is your year
of the I'm guessing maybe if you do split the
four and the five and add four plus five, does
(02:58):
it mean it's my year of the nine?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I don't know, And like, what does the nine actually mean?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Do you feel I know you're not there yet, but
does this feel like any kind of milestone or does
this feel like a birthday?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I guess I didn't really have a feeling of the
day for the episode, so I guess I will say
I am feeling older because my birthday is tomorrow, but
I'm not feeling old. Okay, so maybe that's because I've
been so proactive lately. Like I stretch now, Yeah, I
actually physically pay somebody to stretch me small, dude, that
(03:33):
also feels old. It's an old activity.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
We're going to reframe this because stretch labs are popping
up everywhere, so they must be hip and cool obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And when I walk in there are so many hip
and young people and they're getting stretched.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I bet athletes and stuff go there.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I haven't seen any You've just seen older men. I
haven't seen any yet.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, well, yeah, I know you just started this.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I'm really not feeling I feel good, though, I'm not
feeling old like I think. There have been birthdays in
the past where I felt older than I do now,
and I don't know what to attributed it to. Maybe
because this is the year of reading for me and
I've been reading way more.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
You would think that that would make me feel a
little old.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, I think it's exercising my brain. Oh, like I'm
on a good probiotic. I just feel like my gut health,
my brain health, my ligament health. We're feeling good.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, you know good?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
So yeah, good the big four or five. So that's
my feeling of the day. What's yours.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Uh, I'm feeling really tired but really excited because I'm pregnant.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
It gets pregnant, I get so nervous.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I knew that that was gonna be your feeling of
the day. So I was like eagerly waiting and smile
like trying to be like, okay, let's get I was like,
let's like, I know I'm gonna be like and speaking
of birthdays, Cat is gonna be birthing a baby.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Do you want to share what you wanted to say?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Oh, yeah, your baby's gonna be of Italian descent.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I thought you were saying, like a baby's gonna descend
from you.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, yeah, your baby will descend from you and your
Italian lineage. And then I was like, ooh, it's like
you're cooking a little lasagna and you're in you're little
you got a little lasagna in the oven. But really
it's not the size of a lasagna. The baby is
the size of a line So Kat told me a
(05:44):
couple of weeks ago, or.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Maybe I told you when I was seven weeks pregnant, Okay,
I had I told Patrick. I was like, I've got
to tell Amy because it is really hard for me
to like talk to you but not tell you what's like.
I was so tired, like another level, and it was
just like eating it. I was like, I can't keep
it phels, like I'm lying to her. I have to
(06:07):
tell her why I'm tired, or like you were going
to figure it out anyway.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, well I kind of thought, because well, are you
talking about the other stuff you do?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Well yeah, okay, well no, but I was just tired
in general. I didn't think you would figure that out.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I thought you were were tired because of that stuff
to say what that is?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Okay, say, I've been like saying.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I was like doing like an injection into my butt
because Kat was doing fertility treatment type stuff, and I
knew from the shots you were tired.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yes, So I did IVF. So I did take progesterone
shots in my booty every single night, and those like
put you to sleep. So that was a good excuse
because people knew I was doing that because I it
impacted like my social life, like I couldn't go out
past a certain time because I had to go home
and do my shot. But or you, I knew you would.
You wouldn't pick up on that because well I assumed
(07:03):
you when I guess you could have googled it. You
didn't know like you hadn't haven't done that, so you
wouldn't have known, like what that means that I'm doing
those shots? Yeah, but like other people like my sister,
if she knew I was doing the shots, she knew
where I was in the process, right you know.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, So you came over to my house with Patrick
and you gave me a T shirt that says Auntie Yeah,
and it's so cute. And that's how you told it. Well,
at first I opened it up. You were like, hey, Patrick,
and I just want to drop something off real quick.
I was like, okay, and so did you know? I
didn't know. Okay, I absolutely did not know. I thought
you were giving me something because what what was going
on with me during that time? I was I thought
(07:38):
you were just trying to you were having a hard time, yeah,
And I thought you were trying to make me happy.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Shoot, I thought you were.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Just bringing no, no, no, no like it did I want
happy to know? But I thought you were like, oh,
I want to bring you this because that's what you said.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
You decided me.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
You said I saw something that reminded me of you,
which I guess the shirt did. But you acted like
maybe you were out and about, and you saw something
and you were like, oh, this, I'm going to get
this for Amy. So then you act like you had
to drop it off, which you did, and then I
opened it up and it was a shirt that says
Antie with a little bow. It was so cute.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I was like okay, and I said, do you know
what that means? And you're like, yes, yes, it's like
your little kid. Do you know what that means?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I got I understood what it meant. But anytime I
think of Antie, I think of the Anti Ann's pretzel
that I had in the Denver Airport at Terminal D.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Which you did bring that up.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Oh really, No, it's like anytime because there's a bow
and the bow kind of looked like a pretzel too. Yes,
And I think that that pretzel was so life changing. Yeah,
that was in December that I ate that pretzel. And
now anytime the word anti is mentioned, I think of
that pretzel.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Take me back.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It was so delicious. So Cat's pregnant.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, it's been a long process. I don't know why.
I feel so like every time I've told somebody, I
get so nervous. But I don't know why, because it's
good news.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
It's exciting.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Maybe I wouldn't say. I'm usually somebody who doesn't like
a lot of attention on me, but I think I
am learning as I get older. I'm okay having attention
on me, but I don't want it to be about me,
if that makes sense. Like I'll tell a story or whatever,
but I would rather tell a story about you. You know, yeah,
maybe that could be wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Well, I love checking in with you to see what
fruit you are. Like I'll ask you what fruit are
you today, and you're like, it's a blueberry. And then
it's been other things like a golf It has not
always a fruit, because sometimes it was a golf ball,
but then now it's a line.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's always a fruit. There's the app I have. You
can look at it in like different categories like a fruit.
One of them's Disney. It's like Disney objects sports. That's
really weird. It's really weird. But some of the fruits
sometimes are hard. Like when I was a strawberry, I
was like, well, that's hard to understand because strawberries come
(10:04):
in different sizes. So then I used the golf ball
as mine.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
That size, that's a big strawberry.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
That's a big strawberry, That's what I'm saying. So, but yeah,
I like to use the fruits.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, mostly got it. Shannon looked up what turning forty
five means, I guess in the spiritual realm or what
would even call it, or in numerology. I don't know which.
I don't even know that I believe any of this,
but it's just fun.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Turning forty five is often viewed as the eye of
the storm. The eye of the storm signifies a transition
where the emotional chaos of youth is behind and the
physical realities of later aging have not yet fully set in.
It's a period of quiet, allowing for deep reflection. Spiritually,
the number forty five can symbolize a need for balance
between stability the four, and freedom and adventure the five,
(10:58):
encouraging a transformation of one's life.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Who do you think writes these things?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Though? The people from a long time ago?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Like, could I just start a website and like make
meanings for every birthday?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I mean, I don't think so, because numerology has been
around for a really long time, Like even like in
the Bible, numbers are used for symbolism.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah, so I could do that. But I would not.
I would be like.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Just making up a phony. Yeah, used to be phony,
and I don't want to be that.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
And there is some something to some of this sometimes, Yeah,
do you relate to any of this?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Well, it's also the year of the Horse, right, m hm,
I'm feeling some of that.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
No.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I looked it up one day and then I got
really confused because we were in the Year of the
Snake maybe yeah, and then we were transitioning and now
this year of the Horse, and it's like a I mean,
if it's for real, like this is it's a powerful
year for me. Not only am I turning forty five.
It's the year of the horse. Like, I got exciting
things happening, We got momentum.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh. I was gonna say, like, what is like the horse? Like?
Is that means something for everybody?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Like I guess I would summarize it as like big
things popping and happening. That's my that's my interpretation. So
specifically the year of it's the fire horse. Excuse me,
Shannon just looked it up for me. It's a rare,
energetic and intense sixty year cycle event associated with rapid change, passion,
and at times impulse, impulsivity.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Do you feel I told you passion.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
How it resonates with me is big things popping and happening.
I gave you, I tried to give you, my my, my. Yeah,
I'm paraphrasing it for myself. And so far in Q.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
One, you're popping. Big things have been popping.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Like I don't know when we transition to the Year
of the fire Horse, because it wasn't like January one,
it was a couple it was the Chinese New Year, right. Yeah,
people that are listening right now, it's totally into this.
They're like, oh my gosh, y'all are butchering this. But
I will say I've stepped forward into some things that
I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm stepping
(13:12):
into them finally, like stuff I've had on the burner,
Like I literally had a meeting this morning that is
taking another step towards something I really wanted to do
for a while. And I'm going to take another step
and another step, like it will happen this year, and
so obviously it's happening this year because it's the Year
of the fire Horse.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, it has to.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And I have been making some bold moves like there
was a transition in our company with somebody, and instantly
when I saw it, I thought, oh my gosh, I
need to send some emails. So I did based on
what I saw happening, and I was proactive. I don't
know that last year I would have had that same energy.
(13:52):
I think I would have been like, oh, well, that's interesting.
I hope maybe they call me. But instead of hoping
they call me, I put my name in the hat
immediately with multiple people. I even talked to Bobby about it,
and he gave me advice of like he goes, make
it so obvious and send it to so many people
that if, in fact they do have to end up
telling you no, they're gonna hate it. It's gonna feel awkward.
They're gonna hate telling you no. And I was like, oh,
(14:16):
tell me more like that bit of people it was,
but I just went I was like, oh, well, I'm
going to take this advice that I'm being given and
I'm just gonna go for it. I think that whatever
this energy is, I guess I am feeling it, whether
it's like because I know it's the year of the
fire Horse, and I want to lean into that energy.
Or just naturally happening, because maybe there's a lot of
(14:37):
that energy going around, but I'm seeing things through a
different lens, and there is more of a mph about me.
That's being like the text messages and the emails that
I sent and I fired off, and they're already leading
to something like got an opportunity to fly to Austin
and host a red carpet thing that I was not
slated to do. But then that might lead to something
(14:59):
that come up in LA, which might lead to something
that come up in New York, which might lead to
something that I really want to do in Austin in May.
But I don't know if it will. But I'm gonna.
I'm trying to. I'm not sitting back and waiting to
be like, oh, maybe that will happen. And I feel
like I have had that energy before, which is okay.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
It's also, I think easy for a woman. I think
that's what we're taught to do. Like when you were saying,
Bobby told you to make it so uncomfortable for them,
women are taught to make people feel comfortable, and so
it's extra effort for us. That's not like our go
to I mean, some people Obviously people have different personalities,
but I think generally, as a woman, our go to
(15:40):
is to like I'm gonna wait for them to come
to me and be polite about it and not like
ruffle any feathers versus I get to be bold and
go after what I want. That is more masculine energy,
which is looked at differently when you're a woman than
when you're a man, where it's like he's a go
getter and he knows what he wants. She's pushy.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah, I do think that.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I not that you're pushy.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, I do think that. I still was very polite,
and I definitely still used like an exclamation point here
and there, just to keep it feminine, just to keep
that feminine.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Energy, I think it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But I did say like sorry for bothering you, or
you know you, it's okay, If not, it's okay. Yeah.
I didn't. I left out all of that language like
all good if you've got another person in mind, yeah,
or hate to bother you.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I just was.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I was short and brief and to the point, but
I was still kind and thoughtful and polite. I think
I hope they just see it as like oh Amy's
eager I had no idea she would even want to
do this. We hadn't considered her. Let's put her on
the short list. Yeah, and then we'll see what happens.
And girl, I feel like there is a boldness in me.
(16:53):
And maybe it's just the wisdom of you know, almost
being forty five. Now, maybe it's the because yeah, now
I'm forty five, which I did see something. Shoot where
was it? I don't know, but I saw that for
women ages forty five to fifty five can be such
a creative season for us. Really, I wonder if part
(17:15):
of don't ask me more, because I was gonna say, I.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Wonder if a part of that is once you reach
a certain age, like you care I'm assuming this is
coming from just nothing like maybe you care less about
what people think and you're more like, oh, life is short,
Like if I want something, I have to go after it.
If I want to try something, I'm going to try it.
And so you kind of like shut down a little
of your ego and so creativity can come out easier.
(17:40):
Oh potentially that's just from your therapy, just from the
dome as you would say.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I mean, I don't I don't hate that reason I
also think of depending on when you have kids, you've
done a lot of the raising, and then their kids
are more at a point where they're self sufficient and
they're in school, and you can have more time to yourself,
so you have more bandwidth than you had before too.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Your brain. The space has been opened up again for
you to to do that.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm feeling I guess literally had a feeling and then
it just left my brain. So this is also this
is also an age where pyramidopause does that and just
things escape your brain. But Shannon did just look it up,
and she said research suggests that ages forty five to
(18:34):
fifty five often represent a peak period for experimental creativity,
which relies on experience, knowledge, and refined skills rather than
the rapid conceptual leaps of youth. I'm in my golden age.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Maybe you can be more creative because there's already more thoughts.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
In your brain. Yeah, and also because I'm reading more.
Don't sleep on reading.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I read with my ears. I know.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I think that if you consume books through audio or reading,
even if you're consuming it through audio, you're still imagining
a whole story in your mind. You're still having to
use parts of your brain that you wouldn't if you're
watching a TV show, the work is done for you.
I think whether you're reading or listening, you're still exercising
(19:35):
your brain in a way that is creative and opening
up certain parts that you don't get to always use.
So I think listening or read, I mean I do
both obviously, and I do think that it has been
just a little nugget this year. There's been a gift. Yeah,
it's been a gift. I can't explain it.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yay, reading is a gift.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So I wanted to say not to make this about
me again, but I did want to say I feel
like it's important because we've talked about, and we've had
listeners right in about like infertility and stuff like that,
and I don't want my which this is a little
bit of me people pleasing and all that, but also
(20:17):
it's authentic too. I don't want the pregnancy announcement to
go without also acknowledging that, like hearing that for some
people could be very hard and I know that, and
I mean you've talked about, like you know what that
feeling is like, and so I want to be sensitive
to This is a very exciting season for me, But
I know some people are still in this season that
I have been in, and if you are, then I'm
(20:40):
thinking of you. And I've had a weird relationship with
our pregnancy journey because we did have to do fertility treatment,
and I don't mind talking about it. It's not a
secret at all. We did IVF, and it's not I
keep saying like I would ever choose to do that
(21:01):
if I didn't have to, Like it's a lot of shots,
it's a lot of appointments, it's a lot of money,
it's a lot of emotional energy. And our experience went
really well, Like every milestone we had through that process,
we got relatively good news, and I say relatively for
like having to do that like no again, And so
(21:25):
it feels weird when you get to the end of
it to be like, oh it worked when you were
in this community so long with people that are struggling,
Like when we left the fertility clinic the last time
we went and we had like an ultrasound, he printed
off a picture and I remember leaving and somebody, as
I'm leaving, one of the nurses was like congratulations, And
(21:45):
I wanted to be like sh and I like hid
the ultrasound picture when we were walking out, because I
was like, I don't this is a safe space for
people that just get to be like, we're all in
this together, and it feels it's like almost survivor's guilt
kind of like obviously we're so happy, and at the
same time it's like, oh, this is like a it's
just a weird space, which I imagine other people feel that
(22:07):
in different ways, like if you're I mean, if you're
going through cancer treatment or something, and like you like.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
The hospital you ring a bell, like if you're done
with your radiation when people ring a bell and some
people are still there for their radiation appointment.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Which I guess also that could be very it's hopeful, yes,
but when you're the one it's weird, when like you're
the one that like it's it's this weird survivor's go
is the only way I know how to describe it,
where it's like so happy and also it's like, well,
I want to give a piece of this to everybody.
So I just wanted to make sure I said, like,
we're so excited. This is a dream come true and
(22:43):
a prayer answered. And I know a lot of people
are still waiting for their answer, and I don't have
the right thing to say, but I just want people
to know I'm thinking of them.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, I think, you know, just to piggyback off of that,
people appreciate hearing that from you, and you're does give
hope and they know they're not alone in it. And
in the emotional expense, the financial expense, the the fear.
(23:13):
I remember for me making the decision to not pursue
any type of fertility interventions. We did try clonid, which
is a pill that essentially makes your eggs more attractive
to the sperm. I guess in Layman storms that I
didn't last very long on that because I suck cuckoo
(23:33):
for cocoa puffs on it. And then that led to
us going the adoption route. And as you're telling that story,
I'm even thinking back to when we were trying to
get pregnant and I was like, that was our number
one prayer, like just I really wanted to get pregnant,
and that prayer wasn't answered. And then fast forward, now
(23:55):
we became parents in a way we didn't expect and
ended up adopting not even our original adoption plan, which
was a newborn from America. We ended up going with
older children from Haiti and giving them a chance at
life that they otherwise never would have had. And of
course I didn't know during the our fertility struggles that
(24:19):
that was going to be our ultimate plan. So I
share that part of just like if you are in
the season of waiting or you're wondering why is this happening,
switch the why to what, because there's there is our
question here, what is now possible from this? Okay, we're
not able to get pregnant, so what are our options now?
(24:40):
And it's either go down the fertility route. But I
did have fear of like, what if we spend all
this money and do all this energy and it still
doesn't work, because that is reality for some people. And
I just felt in my heart like that's just not
the route we're supposed to go. I felt like adoption
was more of a guaranteed thing if we're going to
(25:01):
put a lot of emotions and energy and finances, which
adoption is all of the above as well. So it's
same but different. And that's where we landed and I
wouldn't change that. So just know if you are on
that journey or it's not going exactly how you thought.
There is hope for a different a journey. It literally
(25:25):
maybe looks so different than what you had pictured in
your mind, because my situation certainly does. And if you
have a desire to be a mom or dad, it
just may look a little different than how you thought.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, there was I've shared this before, but there was
somebody that told me when I was talking about like
struggles with infertility and creating a family whatever that looks like.
She's also a therapist, and she said she tells her
clients like, just because you aren't getting what you want,
it doesn't mean you get nothing. And that was very helpful.
Like that even makes me like tear up a little
(26:01):
bit that like, Okay, I have to be I need
to create some flexibility in my mind. That like I've
had this idea of what creating a family will look like,
But just because that doesn't happen doesn't mean I get
nothing at all. There's still so much one there's still much,
so much other stuff in my life outside of just
having children, So that's where I also can pool from.
(26:22):
But also like having children might look different, and that
doesn't mean I get nothing. I was thinking that when
you were talking about like your journey was different. Quote again,
just because you didn't get what you wanted, it doesn't
mean you get nothing.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Just because you didn't get what you want doesn't mean
you get it.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
You get nothing. Yeah, and there's a finesse I think
when sharing that was somebody who's struggling, kind of like
how we've talked about, like there's a finesse with when
to say what does this make possible? Yeah, we get
to have the moment where we're grieving and we're sad
and we're like, this isn't what we wanted. And then
once we were sitting with that for a little bit,
then we can open up this idea. Okay, but it
(27:04):
doesn't mean that you get nothing here, like what do
you have? And I even I mentioned this kind of
like incognito months ago, I think on the podcast when
I was I think it was when we were talking
about the drama triangle when I was saying, like we're
I said, like we're struggling getting pregnant naturally, and I
(27:24):
might have just said shrilling getting pregnant. And I sat
with that because it was really hard for me at first,
like I just wanted to like be normal, be intimate
with my husband, and then like take a pregnancy test
and get to surprise him with it. But it didn't
look like that at all. It was for me. It
was awful, and I think he wasn't enjoying the process either.
(27:45):
I had like seventeen different like ovulation tests that I
was taking, and everything was so timed, and our life
was like revolved around like Okay, when do I think
I'm going to ovulate? And then when I don't, it's
like then I'm upset. Like then I'm taking seventeen pregnancy
tests and they're all negation, but I'm like, maybe one
of those wrong, but like, you know, you're not pregnant, right,
And so I wanted us to have that like fun
(28:06):
experience or even I'm like, what if it accidentally happened,
is that'd be crazy? And so I had to think like, okay,
just because this isn't easy and this isn't happening this
way going the IVF route. I'm one hundred percent honest
when I say this, I would not choose that if
I didn't have to. And I am so grateful for
(28:29):
what it gave to not just a baby, but gave
to Patrick and I as a couple. It brought us
so close, Like I got to see him do things
that like I never imagined him do doing and he
took his role so seriously and it was just a
really sweet moment. And we didn't share. We shared with
(28:50):
people close to us, but there was often details we
weren't sharing because we were like in this little thing together.
So yes, I didn't want to do that, but I
got something more than like I imagined out of that.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I love that. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. It
was special to hear. And also I'm picturing Patrick being
so sweet and helpful and to Yeah, they were gunning
your butt, like he had.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
To mix all the medicines and put them in this ringe,
and like we had this like cute little ritual we
would do when we were doing the progesterone shots, even
when we were doing the agg retrieval shots too, But
it was just like it became our little thing, and
like it was like, okay.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Which I know, I'll just say this something that some
of the sacrifices you were having to make, Like everybody
around you knew what y'all had going on, but other
like listeners didn't know. Like we had the thing at
Top Golf. It turns out you enkep not feeling well anyways,
but also that was gonna be the first night of
your shots. Yeah, and they had to be at a
(29:56):
specific time, and you were like, I can come to
the Top Golf event, which we had so many listeners coming,
and I know you wanted to be there, but that
was one of those things where it was like, oh, yeah,
I cat can't be here. But now to see it's
almost like that there's the fruit from that, like you
had to you really wanted to be there, Like you
had to sacrifice certain things. And I'm just giving that
(30:17):
one as example. There were other things that came up
where were like, oh I can't do that, or oh
I've got to get home at this time, or oh
and you can't always explain to people and they don't know.
And it's like, oh, but now, yeah, because because I
was trying to make a little baby and now there's
a baby outside of me, got that.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, I was like I'll come and I'll just go
to the car and do them. But like some of
them had to refrigerated.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
It would have been so bad, like for you to
come to Top Golf and I go out feel like
I come back. No, no, no, you and Patrick need
adult y'all's like you said you were had your sacred
little bubble at home where y'all were able to do
that together. And I just that's one of those things.
If somebody happened to be listening right now and they
were at top Golf for the fun. No, I'm thinking
(31:01):
they might be listening right now and they might want
to know, Oh my gosh, that's what that's what was
going on with Cat, Like that's so cool and now
she's pregnant.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, And what's interesting about that is I was thinking,
like at first I wasn't feeling good, but I was like,
I'll figure this out, like we'll pack a cooler whatever.
But I would say, if anybody is going through this,
I wasn't aware of how emotional I was gonna be
about what we were doing. Like it felt like no
big deal to me at first, because I was like,
(31:27):
I've accepted that we're doing this. This is just from
taking a couple of shots, like no big deal. But
then when he did it, I had this moment of
like like I didn't like booho cry, but I did
tear up and I was like, I'm feeling really emotional
and I was not expecting to feel this way, and
so I am glad that I was at home that night. Yeah,
because then I'd be like, stuck it up. You got
(31:48):
to go back in there and act normal. So yeah,
that's where I was.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
That's where Cat was, and I was covering for you.
Don't worry. And I hope you know is those that
love you want to support you that like we wouldn't
like you were exactly where you needed to be. Yeah,
and now I got a baby in your belly.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Baby, Oh, and I can share it's a girl.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
It's a girl.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah, it's a girl. Line, it's a girl. It's
a baby. Girl live, which we when you do IVF,
you could choose if you have both genders or sexes embryos,
but we didn't look at I don't know. Out of
the embryos that we did get, I don't know the
sex of any of them. So we just said, put
(32:32):
the best one. They grade them like K put the
best one in. And I was like, I feel like
it's going to be a boy. Because everybody that I've
known that's done IVF, not everybody, but most people have
had boys, So I'm like, maybe male embryos are stronger.
I don't know, it's a girl.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
It's a girl. I didn't know if you were saying that.
Then I thought, oh, shoot, you just said that there
was a bow on my anti shirt and that the
bow might give away that it's a girl. And I
didn't know if you were saying anything, so I didn't.
I just kept quiet. You're like at a bow and
I'm like, yeah, which reminds me of pretzels.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Well, I didn't even think about the bow for being
a girl.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Did I know it was a girl when I told.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, because you put it you had a pink bow
on the back.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
I know you were excited about this because you have
a question that doesn't come up, and you love questions
that don't come up. And I have no idea what
the question is.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Okay, Okay. So on my drive here, I saw a
brick mailbox, and when I was younger, I in my
head I was like, Okay, if you have a brick mailbox,
you are rich. Like interesting, that is. I'm like when
I went at my friend's house and they had a
(33:50):
brick mailbox, I was like, they have money, and so
I was just wondering because that was one of the
things in my childhood. I was like, Okay, that equals
that brick mailbox. Your parents are doing pretty good, so
are I was wondering. Are there things as a kid
that you were like, if they had that, they were wealthy? Well,
and do you relate to the brick mailbox.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
I have not thought of that. I had a brick
mailbox growing up, So.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
You were like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
And we had a pool. Oh my gosh, we were loaded,
except for behind the scenes we were not.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Because I was going to say. The other thing that
I think of is like, if you have an in
ground pool, yeah, you also have money.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Okay, so we we did. I do think obviously there
was seasons where my dad had money and then he
did it, which is one of the reasons why my
parents up getting divorced because my dad went bankrupt. So
we still we lived in a neighborhood that had money.
So I don't know that I have this like we were.
I never even saw myself as real like I thought
(34:52):
other people in our neighborhood, which they did, had so
much more money than we did. But it's like we
were all still in the same neighborhood, and we were
a very neighborhood in a bubble, Like our neighborhood was
way far out, like nothing else was around us, and
it was a golf course community. So I guess I
would think like the houses that were on the golf course,
like if their backyard was a hole, yeah, they had money.
(35:13):
What about like I was across the street, so like
to only be a I know, but that's part of
my Like I've had to work through this in therapy,
like my the mental gymnastics I played as a child
to keep up with the Joneses as a child, obviously
I didn't have money to keep up. It wasn't like
(35:34):
I was trying. I wouldn't try to buy things. I
would just try to have conversation or stories that like
oh yeah, yeah, my parent you know, because my friends
were my dad had just left and we weren't taking
like trips or vacations we used to, but then suddenly
like everything stopped. So I kept up the like, oh, yeah,
(35:54):
we're taking this trip like or we're going here, which
I'm sure my friend's parents knew our situation, like the
adults probably knew. Yeah, I think it was news that like,
my dad left and probably bankrupt, and he found a
younger wife that thought he had money. I don't know.
I think for where she was coming from, my dad
(36:15):
still had money, and then I think she realized like, oh,
this is going to be more work because he would
always bounce back. He just had He was like a
rob condoscer.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
He was he was He.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Got excited about things, and he wanted to go all in.
And I loved my dad and I loved his heart
towards things. I just think, you know, so, did you
didn't make a lot of the best decisions.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Did you feel the instability as a kid with money.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I don't know that I fully felt it. No, I
don't think I fully felt it. To answer that question,
I think I had an idea. Something's often something's very
different about me and some of my friends in this neighborhood.
So I need to make sure I keep up with
stories like I'll get real vulnerable with you. I've told
my therapist this. I've never said it out loud or whatever,
but I will. No, I guess, okay, okay, my dad's
(37:05):
friend had this farm with horses. It was beautiful and
it was someone my dad also did business with or whatever.
But we had all these pamphlets and like pictures of
these horses or whatever, and I would act like like
my friends would ask and be like, oh, yeah, we
go there, that's our farm or something.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
But that was my that was the facade. That was yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
I was like, I don't have anything to like. I mean,
these are my friends, like their parents are buying. Like again,
I think my mom was trying to do us a
favor by staying in that neighborhood so that we had
some stability. She only stayed there because my dad gave
her the house, like he said, you take the house,
I'm leaving, it's yours. So for her, moving would have
(37:54):
been an expense. And then also it would have taken
us away from our friends, our school, like it just
would have been a disruption. And she was a stay
at home mom. So then my mom had to get
a job. So suddenly I went from a mom that
was home and very present and always around and like
played tennis to like she never then I never saw
(38:14):
her go on like play tennis or walk and to
working all the time. And that was very different. And
where all my other friends their moms, A lot of
them stayed at home and played tennis, which I'm not
I'm not like saying like woe is me at all.
It just as a child, you notice something is very different,
(38:35):
and like as I remember as a kid going to
Disney and Hawaii and then that sort of stuff just stopped.
But I'm in a neighborhood where my friends are still
having those experiences or their parents are buying new cars
and this and that, and I'm like, oh, yeah, this
is my horse. I don't know, like it's very sad
(38:56):
to think back on it, like doesn't make sense. And
I know exactly who I told that too to this day,
and I brought it up in therapy, and I feel
like I want to call that person and be like,
I have no idea what I told you that I
never had a whrse And he might be like, it
was it was a guy friend in my neighborhood, and
he would be like, and you have no idea what
you're talking about. And he probably doesn't even remember. But
(39:19):
I know I know for a fact if he went
home and said something about Amy was showing me pictures
of her whatever, I know for a fact his parents
to be like, what she did.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Not have that how old were you when you did that?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Nine?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Okay, that's different than you're like sixteen? Yeah that actually, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I grew out of it. It wasn't a it wasn't
a Thankfully for some it may be a pattern that
continued continues. It was not a long drawn out thing.
It's just something. In fact, I remember it so well.
I remember the exact moment and it was on my
bulletin board and the questions he was asking, and then
I just built this story around his name. Well I
(39:57):
didn't have okay, if I named it, I don't remember
that part, but I do remember enough about the experience
that it stayed with me as like an icky of like,
why oh.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Did I do that? That's so interesting that you feel
so dick about it? Because when I hear that, I'm like, you,
sweet nine year old who just was like trying to
like feel like okay and like cool enough or good
enough or whatever. I don't I don't feel like, eh,
you lose her, you little liar. I'm like, that's actually
really sweet, and I want to give her a hug.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I remember too, my mom trying to cut costs of
like everything, like there most people aren't even out a
lawn service. That's just the way that I'm so that
would be enough tun if you have a break mailbox,
if you have a lawn service or whatever. So then
my mom had a start. She started doing the yard work,
and then I would try to help her, but then
I was embarrassed. And then sometimes she wouldn't even have
(40:50):
time because she was working full time. In our yard
would kind of get out of control. And when you're
again in a neighborhood where all the yards are pretty
well kept and manicured. I remember I lived in a
cul de sac and my neighbors in the middle of
the cul de sac. I was obsessed with their house
and they would leave town and they would have me,
you know, water their plants and do stuff. And I
(41:10):
would go over there and water their plants and pretend
their house was mine.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
I'm just watering my house as.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Plays yes, like I live here, and I would think, like, Maud,
he's so awesome if this is my house. And they
were literally my neighbor, and I mean my house was fine,
but I of course I saw all the things raw.
I just wanted to escape my life. But anyway, back
to my yard. Sometimes my mom wouldn't get around to it.
And our church, we had a really good church community,
(41:38):
and they were very great about taking care of my mom.
And I remember sometimes my sister's boyfriend who she's now
married to, and then my ex husband too. Sometimes our
pastor would get the youth group, y'all need to go
over to miss Judy's house and help her with the yard.
And so the boys from the youth group they would
come over and like do the yard for us, which
was such a sweet gift for my mom or even
(42:00):
my pastor himself, like sometimes you'd be like, Judy, I'm
gonna come over and take care of your yard for
you today, because we had to our front yard. It
was laborists on my mom. It was a big front yard,
so it'd take a while to mow, and that was
really special for me to see. But also I just
felt it was also like embarrassing that it was still.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Yeah, but it's.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Weird because you know, people like I feel even silly
saying this stuff out loud, because people like we want I
cryme me a river. We're like, okay, Like I had
to get food from the church or food stamps or whatever.
So every it's all relative, yeah, relative to your situation,
and that was just what I was experiencing at the time,
(42:43):
and that my child brain couldn't process and it went
from living one way to things changing overnight. Yeah, and
so I was just doing the bets that I could.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I don't hear it while I crime me a river.
I think that that because.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Because I'm not there now, I'm just thinking of like
where I was.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
That's also you're saying, like I went from this to
this it was jarring and confusing, and like I was
comparing myself to the people around me. I also had
the brain of a nine year old, and that's how
much I can Actually that's why like as nine, as
a nine year old, I can see like, yeah, that
is scary in all this stuff. As an adult, you
can look back and say, okay, this makes sense. It
actually wasn't my fault. There was nothing wrong with me.
(43:23):
I was trying to survive all of that. I don't
I don't want you to feel like you're not allowed
to have feelings about that sounds like a big deal
for a kid to go through.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I'm okay with it now. But so so anyway, I
had a brick. I had a brick mailbox.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
To bring it back.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I don't have a brick mailbox now though.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
But there are brick mailboxes in your neighborhood. There are, yeah,
huh there. But what's interesting is like you could have
a brick mailbox in front of like a shack. Like
there's all. It doesn't actually make sense, like a brick
mallox does not equal that, but in my head as
a kid, it did.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
It did.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And like I don't have one now,
and so maybe I've disappointed myself.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
But I don't. I don't either. I feel like I
have that. I like Mi, mine's a cute, little iron one.
I think it's cute.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Patrick had a brick mail box in his last house
when I met him, and our house now is nicer
than that house.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Yeah, so you're like.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Yeah, yeah, I would not trade the houses for the
brick mailbox.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Your method of determining.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
But it just was holly to think back and think about, like, oh,
I used to really think that.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
So that was your questions that don't come up. Yeah,
I'm sorry that led us to that's okay. Somewhere we
weren't planning on talking like I was gonna it's beauty
tell you that we need to have an all girls
slumber party before you have your baby.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Do you want to do that? Well?
Speaker 2 (44:46):
Because I saw this whole thing on adults having slumber
parties adult women. I mean, I guess guys could have
it too if they want. But if you like, when
you think back to being a child, did you ever
have slumber parties with your girlfriends?
Speaker 1 (44:58):
One hundred pcent? But you know, kids don't really do
that anymore. A lot of kids don't.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah, but some still do.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Some still do, but I've learned recently that a lot
of kids don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Yeah, it's kind of scary out there. Yeah, I get that,
But if you've got here, it's very different.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Corp.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yes, as an adult, you don't have to worry about
anything creepy happening. But it was this article I saw
all shout the person out specifically Jamie Aroona KREM's director
of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research. Okay, serious legit.
She did research in a friendship and emotional bonding and
(45:37):
found that it suggests that shared spaces and extended time
together strengthens connection and well being. When people feel safe
and comfortable enough to stay overnight, they are often more
willing to be emotionally vulnerable, and that is the point.
Sleepovers allow for late night chats, no judgment, laughing until
(45:58):
you cry, crying until you la, And so what feels
like a teenage ritual is actually emotional regulation.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Okay, I'm down to have a sleepover.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So maybe it's time to plan an adult sleepover.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Yeah, with no pranks.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
You don't have to have any pranks, like just.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
You know, like they dip your hand in water and
see if they pee. Did you ever do that while
they're sleeping?
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (46:20):
And the freezer underwear mm hmm yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
And none of that, no pranks. The requirements would be
good food, yes, a good movie, es, good maybe question
card game type things, good games yeah, like board games, activity, good.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Non alcoholic drinks because.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
You're pregnant and I yeah, and I don't. I don't
think you have to have alcohol. Good little mocktails yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Or just diet coke. I'd be okay with too, which
I can't have a lot of that right now. Yeah,
I can have one every once in a while. My
doctor said, oh yeah, yeah, don't worry, I check. That's
what I do.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Anyways, I probably have one every once in a while yeah, no,
matter what.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
It was more about the artificial sweetener than anything else
in the caffeine. But there's not that much caffeine in
it anyway.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
So sleepover time. Yeah okay, Well, wherever you are, whatever
you're doing, call some girlfriends, get on together, have a sleepover,
and have the day you need to have.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Bye. Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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