December 2, 2025 • 49 mins
Amy and Kat kick off the episode with a feeling that might hit way too close to home: “I think I might need to cry.” Speaking of crying, science says that if you cry easily it might mean your brain is working better than you think. They break down findings on why people who tear up easily have faster processing, and how “emotion labeling” can calm your brain in just 90 seconds.
They also talk about the inconvenient nature of friendships and relationships (including an airport pickup that went sideways with Amy’s boyfriend), what truly makes a bond healthy, and why mutual investment matters more than proximity or shared experiences.
And with Christmas coming up, they close out with a reminder: there are things you absolutely don’t owe your family during the holidays.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good. All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Ay
and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking no brother Lady's fels?
Do you just follow an the spirit where it's on
the front and real stuff to the chill stuff and
am but Swayne.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Sometimes the best thing you can do it just.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You feel things. This is feeling things with Amy and Cat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
and I got the feeling of the day, which I
don't know that it for sure is just like a
feeling feeling. But I just feel like I need to cry.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
You don't look like you feel like you need to cry.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I know how crying releases feel good chemicals, whatever that is. Like,
I think I just need a good release, and I
don't really know how I'm gonna achieve that because I
have so much to do today, so it's like it'll
come when it needs to come. But do I need
a watch something later? But what I'm very much into
(01:02):
right now is all the Christmas feel good movies and
they don't make me want to cry.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Not even a happy tear. No, not a happy Do
you would ever shed a tear at the end of
a Hallmark movie when you're like, they're together and they're happy,
no have you? I think? So Okay, I cry really easily.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I mean Netflix is loading up all kinds of old
movies left and right. You know. We put together our
little Christmas movie list, which I think has been helpful
for a lot of people. It's on our Feeling Things
podcast Instagram. That's the handle Feeling Things podcast, and it's
got Hallmark schedule, Netflix schedule, Disney who like the schedule
of new releases for twenty twenty five. But Netflix, they
(01:43):
have been loading up like Christmas movies from who knows where.
I don't even know where they're getting these, maybe Hallmark
in Lifetime and now they've transferred over and they've got
the right to them. But they're from twenty twenty three,
twenty twenty four, stuff I've never even seen.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Can I put a PSA out?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I have been trying to figure out this Christmas movie
that I used to watch when Disney channel did I
think I must have was a Disney channel or what
was that Fox Family or ABC Family or whatever that
channel was that the twenty five Days of Christmas or
something an ABC Family? Okay, and there's this one movie.
(02:20):
This is all I remember about it, but I loved
this movie even though this is all I remember, and
there was an All I know is there was a
new maybe girlfriend or stepmom figure. She might have really
been in a robot but I were like an angel.
I don't know, Okay, I don't know because Christmas was
to the end, and all I remember from that movie
(02:41):
is she got a Christmas tree, but she put real
candles on the tree, and she almost burnt the house down,
but she was trying to do something nice. I think
she was like like an angel or something. She wasn't
a real person. Maybe I don't know, but I can't
figure out what this movie is and I want to
watch it. So if you know what I'm talking about,
she put stop looking.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
No, I'm like thinking like, okay, yeah, we could google
angel or robot mom who I'm like, you haven't. You
haven't been able to find anything.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
All I remember is she put you know, those like
little like candles that are on the little like olden days,
that she put them on the tree. But they were
real candles and they were like I think I think
they may be the tree caught on fire. So if
you know what I'm talking about. I know somebody does.
Damn sure, email us hey there at Feeling thingspodcast dot com.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Because Kat needs to watch this movie.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I need to watch it. Yeah, And that's what I
have for us today.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Your your feeling of your feeling is like eager to
find out.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, and I'm sad because I haven't been able to
find it. And instead of watching that movie, I had
to watch the Jonahs brother's Christmas movie and it was
not the same vibe.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So should we watch that or not? Because I was
thinking about it.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Well, I have a thing for Joe Jonas, so yes.
Oh when I was little, I thought I was gonna
marry him. I thought that, like I had a certain
degree of separation. So I convinced myself that I was
going to meet him.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Oh so you know someone that knows him.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I knew somebody that knew somebody that sister played music with,
somebody that knew him.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Yeah, so it was totally possible.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
So I had this whole thing in my head of like,
oh my gosh, so and so is going to bring
me this concert and she's going to bring it backstage
and she's like, this is my my ex boyfriend's sister.
She is so cool, and then he was like, she's beautiful.
I want to date her, and then we were gonna
fall in love. And then it hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, thank goodness, because you've got Patrick.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Oh yeah, I think it worked out for the best.
I know it did, it did. That's what.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I think. We're okay.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
But what's crazy is in this movie Joe is like
searching for love because he's the only single brother now.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Tracks because you are now taken.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, sorry, you always want me. You can't have Joe.
You can't have me now.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, he's still searching.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I would watch it because it's so cheesy. I told
you earlier. When we watched it, we were like they
must have been paid so much money to make this
movie because they're cool, right, Like the Jonah brothers are
cool guys.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I think they've had our resurgence.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well I think themselves, like they're cool, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I don't know. I was like, you're about ten years
younger than me. So I just remember when the Jonas
brothers first got on the scene, Like I.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Was working like twenty for the pop.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Station in Austin, Like we were doing the Bobby Bone
Show and the Jonas brothers were coming to town and
we had no clue who they were, but girls were
gathered outside of the radio station like mobs of kids. Wow,
And we were like, okay, wow, these Jonas brothers, they
must be really taken off. And yeah they did. They
sure did.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So watch it because also there are a couple they're
like three or four new songs, original Christmas songs, and
they're pretty good.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Did jam it out?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Bops?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Is that we're not gonna cry watching it? Probably? It's probably,
but there was.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
A sweet ending. Okay, it's the vibe of I'll be
home for Christmas with Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Because they're trying, that's the whole g just trying to
get their flight got canceled or something.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Was trying to do a little Christmas magic.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
All right, yeah, okay, so we're in the Christmas spirit
here clearly, and we're in the crying spirit. Like I
think we're big fans of like cry if you need
to cry, and I think that's what I need. I
told you this the other day that I got tears
in my eyes. Remember we were texting and I, oh, yeah,
I was like I think that I just need to cry.
(06:29):
So this has been since that was Thursday Fridays, so
four days ago. I think I told you I think
I just need to cry, and here we are. I
still haven't cried because I don't I don't know I
have been able to force it. But when I think
I just really needed my mom and she's not here,
(06:50):
so I don't even really know what I needed to
talk to her about. Maybe it was fresh because my
sister came to town and was meeting my boyfriend for
the first time. But all I knew is right when
I had the thought of I think I need my
mom and I texted you, I think I need my mom,
I got tears in my eyes and a lump in
my throat and I was like, okay, that must be
what it is like, ding ding ding, And then also
(07:11):
I think I just need to cry. I think some
of it today is a mixture of hormonal stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Well, also, remember a couple of weeks ago, you were
like my mom's death ofversary and you said it didn't
hit you as hard, and you're like, I don't know why.
Maybe you're having a little bit of two like because
so much was going on right then, now you're starting
to feel it more and it's the holidays. So this
is a good example of like the highs and lows
(07:38):
of that of like some days you're okay, and you
were like, I don't think about my mom every day,
but like I was like, I think you might think
of her more than you think. It comes and it goes,
and there's certain times where it hits you at certain
times where it doesn't. And this is it's hitting you.
There's a lot of stuff going on in your life
and you might want to call her and tell her
about it.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, that's probably it. I just love to talk to her.
So I know today, at some point or in the
next few days, I hope that tears flow and I
get those feel good chemicals and I sort of feel
a little bit back to normal. But that's my feeling.
My feeling of the day is like if only I
get just like cry. So however that's going to happen,
(08:16):
if somebody can make that happen, that'd be great.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I think maybe you watch something sad or nostalgic. I
don't want anybody to try to make you cry, because
that's what are they gonna say.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
So give me an idea like should I go look
at old photos like what? I don't know. I haven't.
I haven't really had time to think about it. But
I did see an article talking about people who cry easily.
And what's so funny is I saw this article and
then you texted it to me and I was like, oh,
I already submitted that through my show prep on the
Morning Show, and then you've sent it to me, and
(08:46):
I was like, Okay, we should tell people about this
in case they didn't know, because it's real. A Harvard
neurologist people who cry easily have a faster connecting brain.
Now here's my conundrum. Right now, I typically do cry easy,
but right now I'm having difficulty crying. So now I
(09:08):
don't know if I have a fast connecting brain at
the moment.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Wait, but you cry. If I were to tell you
something sad right now, you would you would cry with me.
I know that. Yeah, this feels different, like you have
like an emotional block right now to your own stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Okay, but I.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Do think if you were to see a video, like
here's something you could do, get on TikTok or Instagram
and watch videos of like kids seeing their dads come
home after deployment, or like kids getting puppies for Christmas
or stuff like that, Like I'm always crying at that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, so yeah, Or if you told me something about you, yes,
I know that I yes, okay, yeah, so yay, we
can still celebrate. We have fast connecting brains and the
reason behind this is brain scans show stronger bridge between
the amygdala, which is emotion, and the prefrontal cortex, which
is logic, and their feeling don't block their thinking, they
enhance it. When someone tears up, their nervous system is
(10:04):
processing emotional data in real time. They can read the
room before the room knows what it feels. Emotional responders
predict conflict forty percent more accurately and resolve it faster.
And there was a quote in the article that said
crying is not a loss of control. It's the nervous
system integrating faster than most people can think. If you
(10:24):
cry on a whim, just be like, yeah, I'm emotional.
This is not a loss of control. I just have
a faster connecting brain.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Yeah, and yeah, we just feel I think at a
different level. Yeah, sometimes it does get in the way, though,
you know, they're crying sometimes. I yeah, sometimes I cry
everything everything, And I think that has changed as I
got as I've gotten older, because I used to be
able to be a brick wall with clients. More so, I.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Don't know how you do that. Like, quite honestly, if
I had clients telling me certain things, which I get it,
it's you're being a professional. You have to compartmentalize, but
you've gotta gosh if especially if they're crying, yeah, and
you just have to sit there.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Oh, I've started just crying and being like, I'm crying
with you. I think it's different depending on what they're
talking about. But sometimes, like if a client's share if
a family member has died and they're sharing that, I
think it's kind of awkward. If you're just staring at them,
it can be so if you shed a tear, they
might feel like more empathy. I mean, I know personally
(11:31):
when my therapist has cried with me, I've had that experience.
One time I shared something that happened and she started crying.
I was I kind of was like, what are you
crying for? And she said this, You've been waiting to
hear this. It was something that somebody said to me.
So you've been waiting to hear this your whole life, Like,
I'm so happy for you. And I kind of was like,
oh should I should I crush? Yeah? Yeah, So that
(11:55):
was very helpful because she was showing like, oh, that's
that's a big deal. And I think also if somebody
is that's one example, and then another is if something happens,
like somebody passes away or there is some kind of
tragedy or trauma, when somebody's sitting there and sharing that
motion with you, it feels safer, I think for me personally.
(12:15):
I know when I shared something with you a couple
of years ago, something with somebody's health in our family,
and I started crying and then you started crying. It
was actually very helpful.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Okay, so we were able to cry together, yes, and
be there for each other. That's the other thing we're
going to talk about, which this might be a good
tie in of friendships and inconvenience, Like sometimes it might
be not be very convenient for you to have a
hard conversation with a friend or even cry in that
moment with them. But I had seen a post about
(12:49):
normalizing inconveniencing yourself for your friends, and it was just
that text overlay over a reel of a girl making
a homemade cake for her friend's birthday, or maybe it
wasn't even a friend, but she was just like normalized
inconveniencing yourself for the people you love, and that, yeah,
is it the most convenient to make the cake? But no, no,
(13:09):
but if you can, let's try to bring some of
that back. And what's so funny is you saw something
like the exact staff. We must have the same algorithm
because we saw the crying thing and then we saw
the you saw something totally different about that.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I saw it was a post from the POC therapist
and she said it was just a it was a carousel,
and the first page just said friendships are inconvenient. And
that's something I talk about all the time. And I
think there's a difference between a friendship being something being
inconvenient and something being a burden because a lot of
times we don't want to ask for things because or
(13:45):
share things with people or whatever, because we don't want
to burden the people we love. And I don't think
you sharing something with me are asking me for something
wouldn't be a burden. But like I shared with you,
if you broke down the side of the road and
you needed me to come pick you up, and I
was doing something, it would be inconvenient for me to
(14:06):
have to drop that or drive thirty minutes to go
get you or whatever. But that wouldn't feel like a
burden to me, like you would want I would want
to do it. And that's what friendships are. And I
think that's what makes friendships deeper and more meaningful, is
that we do those things. It's not just like we
hang out and we have a good time. It's like,
I know if I needed something, you would be there,
(14:26):
vice versa.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, and to create that that that understanding, like maybe
that hasn't happened yet, but there's just this all knowing that, like, yeah,
this person's going to show up for me, because some
of that feels lost.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah, well, because I think there's this even down to like, you.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Know, if you're if you need your neighbor to help
you with.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Something like, oh, I still haven't met my neighbors.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
You need to get on that.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Well, one of them hasn't moved in yet. It's not
my fault, but the other one, I don't know. I
think cookies or something in.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
The Facebook group yet No, Oh, it's blowing my mind.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
No, but yeah, I guess I could go say hi
to them. I could go do that. Yes, but I
do agree. I think part of the that lost is
we have overcorrected a little bit in the I don't
owe anybody anything, you know, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Sort of like the boundaries of like, I know it's
your birthday, but I need to protect my mental health
and I'm feeling really tired right now, so I'm not
gonna come like the pendulum swung way too too far
of like, oh, good for you, you're taking care of
your mental health. But also it's like, well, wait a second,
this is one of your really good friends, so you
may have to sacrifice menience.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yes, And also if I want people to do that
for me, if I want people to show up for me,
why would I think that I wouldn't need to reciprocate
that to an extent, You're.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Right, and obviously there's cases in which that might totally
make sense. We're talking about the like it depends, Yeah,
it depends.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah, So yes, if something happens, like if there is
like a tragedy or something, or you have the flu,
I don't expect you to come to.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
My birth my mom died, I'm not going to be
able to come.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Like I say, Okay, I get it, we get it.
But if you're like, oh, I'm really tired because I
had to work today, well yeah, I'm tired too. Yeah
I'm tired all the time. So I do get that.
But and I think also that's a part of us learning,
is over correcting, because then we can say like, oh,
this doesn't totally feel right, let me try this version
(16:27):
of it so we can get back there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I think that that's oftentimes part of the process, like
you were saying, like certain things. For me when I'm evolving,
sometimes I do swing a little bit too far, but
it's almost necessary because I have to get into that
mindset and then I'm like, Okay, I can level back out,
like I had like a strict moment, very different than
you know, prioritizing my mental health. I guess I'm thinking
(16:52):
more of like my eating disorder recovery, like I've swung
so far of like the other direction that I felt
like I can't have any rules or boundaries around food
because I really really don't think I could at the time,
and now I can just for my overall health and
well being, Like I can think a certain way about
food or know that I'm not going to have that
at this time. But it was sort of like a
(17:14):
free for all for a while. Yeah, And I was
very passionate almost to not always rational about when I
would talk to people about things and thinking no, I
have to do it this way. Yeah, I was like,
oh gosh, I'm sort of embarrassed. But that was just
part of my journey to get back to the middle
ground where I am well.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
I think when that happens, because that is very normal
in recovery is you have to open up all the
doors really wide. So in your recovery, the doors were
all in your eating disorder, the doors are all totally shut,
and so like we have to make sure that there's
like room to get in. So you open them really wide,
you go in, you see it fits, and you see
it doesn't. And then after you have normalized and have
(17:54):
habituated to a lot of these things, then you can
kind of see where you really fit in there. But
I think a lot of anti diet culture it when
I swung it swung.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It's I swung with it. Yeah, Like my recovery time
hit right around that swing, and I was like, all
on board. Remember one time Bobby and I were arguing
about carrots and French fries. I remember one time Bobby
(18:26):
and I were arguing about carrots and French fries, and
I was like, they're the same, They're the same, Like
a French fry is good, a carrot is good. Well,
first of all, food isn't good or bad because it's
not and there's no moral value on food. But obviously,
if you're thinking rationally, you can know someone is saying like, Okay,
the nutritional value of this particular food is not the
same as the nutritional value of this food. But I
(18:49):
was so like adamant that, like, will you eat enough
carrots and they're going to be bad for you? Which
is true. You have too much water and it could
be bad for you, Like there can be too much
of everything. But we got in a really big fight
about carrots and French fries, and we were taping something
for the Bobby Bone Show, and I remember him being like,
let's just throw that out, like this is it's like
(19:10):
I can't even talk to you. Yeah, you didn't have
a conversation with me, because anybody will tell you that
something fried is not gonna be the same thing as
a raw carrot.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
The nutrient density is different, correct, And I also think
what was lost in this is like a whole nother
probably podcast we could do is which I'm very grateful for.
But in as the pendrlum swung and like anti diit culture,
like there was this whole revolution a couple of years ago,
five six, seven years ago, there was a lot of
(19:41):
talk about intuitive eating, which is very important. But one
of the pillars of intuitive eating is actual like mindful nutrition,
and so people didn't know that. They just heard intuitive
eating a lot, and like intuitive eating is eating when
you're hungry and stopping when you're full and listening to
what your body wants and all of that. But there
is there's pillars of it there, there are these different
(20:03):
parts of it. It's not just that. And part of
it is practicing mindful nutrition, which includes actually paying attention
to what your body needs and what it's like really
asking for internally and not just what we're wanting externally.
So that got lost in the sauce, and then intuitive
eating turned into something that it really wasn't. And at
(20:24):
the same time, I will say, as somebody in recovery.
You needed to normalize French fries. You needed to think
that for a little bit of time.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
And I was really, you could hear, what about anybody
listening that we're going to hear that French fries were bad?
Because I was like, I don't want someone to not
eat French fries today because of this conversation. Like it,
I felt like it was like a response, they eat
the fries, right, and I'm not responsible for their journey
and if they want to eat the fries or not.
I just it was exhausting. I was exhaust I was
(20:53):
exhausting to people. And it's almost like in my eating disorder,
I was exhausting to people.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Ough, Like did I tell you that my nieces and
nephews talked about this one time. I think I hosted Thanksgiving?
Did you make call for I made all kinds of
horrible things, So let me tell you. They were just
I thought were equal substitutes, which I get. If you
have to substitute something for your like your digestion or
(21:19):
an allergy or what not, go for it. Nobody in
my family had an allergy, including yourself, including me. But
I was like right there making every gluten free vegan.
You know, so everything's no dairy. I mean it's Thanksgiving.
It's like what are what is this mac and cheese?
I don't even know. But my sister has four kids.
They came from Colorado to Nashville. I'm hosting, and this
(21:42):
is what I'm serving everybody, like my dad, my sister,
her husband, my husband. Like nobody was into it, but
nobody really said anything at the time. But now it's
like the family joke, like now that BB's what they
call me. Now that BB's healthy and in recovery and
we're all better now, they're like, remember, apparently it's something
talk about at their house, like they bring up often,
(22:02):
like remember Bebee's meal, and like what I created for people,
Like I just sucked the joy Right now.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
We were sitting there being like, yes, I got everybody
to eat this healthy meal, and they're loving it. They're
gonna go home and make these recipes. Meanwhile, they're like
shoving the food under the table.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yes, Like I was thinking, Wow, I pulled one over
on them, like just as good as the real stuff.
And it was like, looking back, I bet if I
were to make that now, I'd be like and no,
but things also tasted different to me. Yeah, like it
actually probably did taste good to me because that's what
I was used to or my I was, yeah, playing
(22:36):
a little game convincing myself that it was good. But yeah,
thankfully now I think that pendulum went from one area
of blah to another area blocked and it landed right
in the middle of like I can be a joy
to be around with food.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, And for anybody who's listening, this is to give
give grace to the people going through recovery that they
might have a little bit of that they need that
space to like explore, and then also give grace to
yourself if you're going through that, Like you're not going
to be like, oh, I want to find recovery or
I want to help heal this part of me, and
(23:13):
then in a week you're like, oh, look I can
do all this stuff. Like you're going to have to
explore and see what feels right, and it's not something
I think through that whole shift sometimes, and I think
part of it was because that's when like TikTok and
there was a whole resurgence and social media and stuff
and it was starting to change, So there was a
lot of information that was given in very simple ways,
(23:36):
and I might have been part of the problem too,
But I think because of that, people thought it was
going to be it should be easier and more simple,
or like I just snap my fingers, and it's not
like that. So give yourself grace.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
There's like, let may be a story of hope one
day day one day. I never thought that. I don't know,
I guess I just there was a time where I
guess I thought, well, this is just my life. It's
just going to be exhausting and miserable. And now I'm
still exhausted a little bit, it's just for different reasons.
(24:11):
I'm not miserable though.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Okay, so that's progress forward, progress, progress, yea.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
And yeah, I mean I'm glad we brought up because
even the friend thing, like if your friends are going
through something hard, that might be another inconvenience for you.
Of like when your friends are going through something, that
might be a time where you might need to show
up a little bit more. But you're right, it's an inconvenience,
but it's not a burden. And if it feels like
a burden, that's information to pay pay attention to. Like
if deep within your soul. You are annoyed by the
(24:39):
whole thing, then maybe you need to take a hard
look at yourself or.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Have a conversa.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
That friendship is that well, I don't know, is that
information that maybe that friendship's not that there's it depends.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
I think it depends. I think it's information. We don't
know what the information is.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I think, like in a romantic relationship, it could be information,
like if it's your boyfriend, like it could be information
of like why am I not wanting to show up
for this person? Like that could be some data. Although
I inconvenienced to myself for my boyfriend the other day
he needed a ride from the airport, but I couldn't
like hang out with him at all after And I
mean he could have easily had somebody else to pick
(25:16):
him up or take it uber, but I was like, no, no,
I got you. I got you because you wanted to,
because I wanted to. So I went, which I don't
live anywhere near the airport, and I don't really live
near him either, but I had to get right back
to my house, so I left and it probably took
the whole trip was about an hour and a half.
So I left my house, went to the airport, picked
him up, drove from the airport to his house, then
from his house came back to mine. That's it. It
(25:37):
was like hi hahi, by welcome back, you know. But
apparently in the car ride I was sort of negative.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Killing the vibe.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I killed the vibe. And so when we got to
the when I got to the airport to pick him up,
I got out and went and got in the passenger
seat and he got in the driver's seat. So he
was driving and there was someone that was recklessly driving
near us, and he kind of gave them a look,
and then he had some road rage happen. And I'm like,
where in my car I fear retaliation. I don't want you.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Such a fear of retaliation?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Really do were in every everything where? Does this a
negative review? I won't leave one a tip You're getting
a good one?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Like does this come from somewhere? I'm sorry I'm derailing
your story, but the news I don't know. Okay, So
nobody's ever retaliated at you, and this is like your
response to like, I can't ever have that again.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, I haven't personally experienced retaliation because not on my watch,
I'm good, like I think, okay, that could happen.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I don't think, okay, just the interesting like that's one
of I feel like I hear about that more than
any other fear of yours. Yeah, okay, so you're.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
In the car and I have no interest in changing
that fear. By the way, there's no problem because like
why would I. The minute I decided to change, I
get retaliated.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
On that's true, like no, yeah, no, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
So he gives this woman a look and then you know,
when you're driving, okay, we're taking an exit, like she's
aggressively driving towards us, like there's like a game happening.
So then we are taking an exit, she speeds up,
scoots over in front of us in the exit, and
slows way down. So now we're having to go really slow.
(27:16):
It's not even her exit, so last minute as she can,
she zooms back onto the high stop.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yes, okay, this reminds me of the show Beef. Okay,
well have you seen it?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Does that? Well? Yeah, exactly, like do you see that
is the dominoes just keep falling and then yeah, it's
not good.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Also, have you seen the video that went around on
Instagram where somebody pulls they they cut somebody off, and
then they pump on their brakes and then they put
their car and reverse and smash into that car, so
it looks like that car hit them.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah. See, I have no interest in that game, don't.
I don't want to part of it.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
It's happened.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
If he hadn't looked at her and just let her
do her thing and slowed down and let her go
on her very way, we wouldn't have been in this
yeh little car Wars situation. And I was really worked up.
And then he was like sorry, I mean, he was
coming off a trip. He's like, I just haven't gotten
a lot of sleep. And then honestly he's like, this
whole car it has not been that much fun because
(28:16):
you've just been negative like and I was like, oh wait,
And I said, so let me get this clear. You're
now blaming your road rage attitude and your reaction to
her in this little game you're playing that put our
lives at risk by the way, on me.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
And he said he said, well no, no, he said.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I have to take responsibility for my action. I mean
he realized that that's sort of what he was doing.
He's like, I have to take responsibility for my action.
And then we paused, pause, pause, pause, take a deep breath, breath, breath,
breath out. And then I said, also, I am sorry
for being negative. And then I saw some article the
other day. I talked about it on the Bobby Bone Show.
(28:58):
I don't know if it was hard or something like
that tell tells, but they were talking about I know
this is loose information, take at risk, Yeah, take it
for what you will. But she was talking about how
feelings take about ninety seconds to like fully process through
(29:19):
your body, and then it's what you decide to do
after that that can keep them blooping. So it's your
response to the feeling and then whether or not you
want to keep ruminating on it, and then it's living
rent free.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
So I in that moment, I had some feelings happening,
and I recalled that article and I was like, Okay,
this is uncomfortable. R. Now, I'm gonna give it about
ninety seconds. I'm gonna give about ninety seconds and then
we're gonna we're gonna move on because he's out of town.
I really wanted to go get him. It should have
been fun. I was negative, I'm sorry, So I need
to own that, and then he can own his road
(29:55):
rage and then we will forget about this and move on.
And then the rest of the day was okay because
I was dropping off at home but going back to
my house to cook dinner because we had people coming
over and him and his kids were coming over. And
then by the time like we got to his house
and he got out of the car, like everything was fine. Yeah,
but that's one of those things. If I, if I
(30:16):
maybe wasn't thinking about that and I didn't let the
feeling just like go through my body and give myself
the ninety seconds, like we could have turned that into
like a real you're not even coming over dinner later, Yeah,
just forget about it, Just forget about it.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Well, I'm not being a good time. Just forget about it.
You don't have to come over tonight.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Don't worry about it, right, And then he would be like,
come on, please stop being ridiculous, and I'd be like, no, serious,
this is really serious. We're done.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I think you could go that far. Yeah, do you
ever like get in a fight kind of and then
like you start laughing. You have to keep yourself from
laughing because in your head you're like, so stupid, but
like at the same time you're like, no, I'm mad.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, but you know, sometimes laughing when I'm in a
really intense situation as one of my trauma responses. Oh
so it's probably for a different way and me probably,
But also I guess I could do that. If I'm
being ridiculous, then I might be like, Okay, this is dumb.
But I actually have been a very probably the one
of the most intense situations of my life. I'm not
(31:15):
going to get into it. I've not shared it publicly,
but it's one of the darkest nights of my life.
No reason for laughter, none whatsoever. I can't even imagine
laughing now thinking back on it. But there I was.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Was it a giggle or a hysterics?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
No, not hysterics, just like I couldn't like, I couldn't
help but laugh at the situation, almost just like a
I can't believe this is I can't believe this is happening.
I'm laughing. And then that made things worse. You don't
there's other people there, and my sister was like, what
are you doing?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Stop?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
And I'm like, I don't know, and so then with
my therapist, I told her that because I felt like
a crazy person.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Sociopath, because you weren't feeling funny.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
No, if anything, I felt so sad and hurt and anger. Yeah,
all of my emotions were no laughter, no laughter in
the mix. And Janet, who you respect? Am I allowed
to say that? You know that she was my therapist?
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Did you know that I'm allowed to?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
I never know you therapists and your hip hop but whatever.
She she told me that that was my trauma response
and that she gave me the green light. That was
a okay, and I am not the only person in
the world that would be in that situation laughing.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Yeah, I was like, thank you. So you're like, there's
nothing wrong with me, that's just like And.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Then I thought back to sometimes when I get spanked
as a kid and I was in trouble with my parents,
they would spank me and I would laugh.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
That probably backfired on you.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Oh well, backfiring and the laughing situation I had as
an adult that backfired on me. It made everything worse.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Yeah, But but I was like, I don't know if well,
if I was spanking my kid, I don't think I'm
going to be doing that and they laughed. I think
I'd be like what am I doing? I'm like, this
isn't funny, and like also what am I doing? Right?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
But also I don't know, I know, I know, but
it wasn't like a laugh like hahaha, but it was
the laughter like I had with and I remember as
a kid kind of feeling like am I like the
devil or something? Why am I laughing? Like what's wrong
with me?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I felt like it's a demon inside me.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I felt like, you know, weird about it. But then
I got affirmed from my therapist, which I don't know
if y'all are just supposed to do that to your clients,
Like is.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
There ever weird?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Well, like I know you are, but like what if
I was literally doing something that wasn't normal? Like how
would Janet say that to me? Like I know you
can't speak for her, but I'm just saying loosely, let's
just hypothetical. I'm talking to a therapist and I'm doing
something that is like that's actually a worrisome response, like
she was saying my laughing was a trauma response and
I should feel okay with that and don't think it
(34:08):
it's a coping thing. What if I was responding in
some way that is very dangerous and not good and
it is.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I think we would share that with you.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Yeah, like you would say, you wouldn't affirm me. You'd
be like, okay, well you just did what you needed
to do.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
No, no, And I actually think sometimes there's like a
like we were talking before, sometimes we therapists have overcorrected
and we affirm too much, and like there is a
clinical we have clinical judgment, and what might be okay
for somebody, it's not always okay. That's why I say
it depends all the time. What is worrisome for one
client might not be worrisome for another. And then there
(34:43):
are things that are worrisome all around. But yes, there
are things that we'd have to be like, okay, So
like let's talk about why this is how you responded,
and why this might be hurtful or this might be scary,
or this might be dangerous, or this might not be
the most adaptive healthy coping skill. So let's see if
we can find some healthier ones. You know, like your
eating disorder is a coping skill, and that's not a
(35:04):
healthy coping skill. So she's not like, oh, don't worry
that you've made all of this vegan thanks gaming food,
because that's you were just taking care of yourself. Like
we would have a conversation about like okay, like why
is We wouldn't use why, but we would talk about
are you about to say that no?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Keep going in and I have a thought?
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Would we would have a conversation about like what feels
important about this and what is this keeping you from
and all of that versus just being like that's bad.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Well, it's reminding me back to the word of inconvenience.
Like I what I did that Thanksgiving is I decided
to inconvenience in my family and serve them a meal
that was like I wasn't a hostess to the mostess
at all whatsoever in that situation, as opposed to inconveniencing
myself for a day and serving our family recipes or
something that they would actually enjoy.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Yeah, Grace, we grow.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
So Shannon found the Harvard brain scientist doctor Jill Taylor
talking about the ninety seconds. Here's what the research showed.
Ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion
and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it
when you're stressed, pausing ninety seconds and labeling what you're feeling, like,
for example, I'm getting angry. This tampers down activity in
(36:28):
the amygdala MRI. Studies of the brain show that this
emotion labeling calms the brain region involved in angry outbursts
and helps you regain control. So, yeah, I gave myself
that ninety seconds in the car case study proof, experiment,
data done. It worked, and my boyfriend is typically really
(36:48):
good at that, like he's the one that stays more calm,
but he that was the first time I saw the
road rade situation come out, and I.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Was like, whoa, I can't see him doing that. Yeah,
it was a.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Shockered me too, And I'm like, well, I guess I
learned more about you today. And he was like, well,
this car right has just not been fun?
Speaker 3 (37:07):
All right, sucks.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
And I was like, well, sorry, I inconvenienced myself and
drove all the way here to get you from the airport.
And then I was negative, Nancy, what oh dang it,
what dang it? What?
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Okay? Well, I saw something being highlighted in our dock
and I read the word holiday and Christmas, and I
thought she hadn't found the movie, but she didn't dang it.
So nothing came up in a Google search. See, it's
like I can't find it all right?
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Sorry, Well, Christmas is our next holiday in the books
because Thanksgiving is out? Check.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Can I offer a stocking stuffer for all you people
out there?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
And in the room, everybod it's like, yes, okay, So
usually this doesn't happen to me, but I got worked.
I feel like you're rubbing off on me in a
good way because you know I'm here, and they're like,
don't buy into things you see on the internet and
you're kind of over here. I kept seeing this ad
for a black cherry Clinique lip gloss. Has anybody else
(38:14):
seen this ad? No?
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Why do I keep But I'll probably get it now
that you're saying it. I feel like I have bad
memories with Clinic, but I'll tell you about that later.
I mean, Clinic is still good. It's a good brand,
but it's like speaking of childhood trauma. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
I was like, why is this getting fed to me?
Because one, I don't think I've gotten something from Clinique
since I was fifteen years old. But good for them.
It was everywhere, and I kept seeing it over and over,
so finally I was like, I want to buy something today.
I'm going to buy this lip gloss. I'm wearing it now.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
It is.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
It's like a color, but it's not like a lipstick,
so it's not like thick. Does that make sense. It's
like not a stain, but it's not a lipstick. But
it's not a chapstick. But it's not actually a gloss.
What is bomb? It's a bud, It's a ball. It's
a ball.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
It's a ball.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Okay. Anyway, it looks like this, and it is. It's
really dark, but it doesn't show up that dark on
your lips and you can like layer it and stuff too.
I love it. And apparently it's like universally beautiful on people.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Because it's a pH responder or what.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
I don't know if it is one of those Bobby
Brown has a really good one that responds to PhD.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
No, we got it in New York.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Well remember that one color I really liked on me,
but you didn't like on you. It was like completely
different and it was crazy. But they also this comes
in and a lip oil too, so if you are
wanting to put a little stocking stuff for somewhere. I
feel like Clinq is back.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Is Clinic back? I mean it might be. I think
it might be because like j Cruise back, Banana Pelop's back,
like all those brands that we went away bent. I mean,
they've always been around, but I think they're just having
a resurgence, like another moment, and maybe for some people
that never went away. I don't think it's bad if
you've always been a fan. But one time my dad
(39:56):
in high school bought me Clinique powder, and my stepma
for reaked out like that he spent that kind of
money on my powder because I should be getting maybe
Lene from the drug store. She said that to your
face or she said it to my dad, and like
I heard it was maybe on the phone or were you.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
Like you can have eye.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Just remember we were at the mall and I really
wanted this Clinic powder, you know, was in the green
case and the perfect little sponge, and he got it
for me, and then it became an ordeal, like.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
So did he share with you that she said that?
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
I think it was he. We must have gotten in
the car and he was on the phone with her
and it just was not Oh good. I was trying
to do something sweet, but I think she was just
sort of like, you don't need to spend that on
a kid, Like how old were you? Probably fifteen, fourteen,
I don't know. I just remember probably freshman year of
high school or something.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Good time, we go to the clinic and we should
I should have bought this, like.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I'm gonna buy whatever powder i'll want and.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
We create a memory. But also I should have bought
this at the store because I could have gotten the
gift with purchase that they always do. Yeah, they still
do that.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
The gifts with purchase were legit. My mom would buy
makeup for her and give me the gift yellow moisturizer.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Yeah, so much that, But also all those little like
make a bag.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yeah, good times.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just go to the mall. I love going to the mall.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
I love it. Remember the last time we went and
picked out pajamas and I love.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
Going to the mall at Christmas, Yes, we did, and
then Patrick didn't like those pajamas and I was like,
I don't even care. I love the mall at Christmas.
We should go and we have to get Anti Ann's pretzels.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Okay, I gotta say I used to be upset with
those or not upset. I used to be obsessed with those,
And I was kind of upset the last time I
got one because it didn't hit right.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
They've changed, They're not as good, but I mean you
still have to get them, maybe just like carry it around.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
But what happened, Like did they change the recipe?
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Because I think everything has been not as good, like
Chili's used to slap and now Chili sucks shouting Chipoli,
chicken crispers and their skillet case. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I used to love the uh chicken egg rolls at Chili's.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Southwest e Girls.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Yes, yeah, the Southwest Chicken. Oh in college, yes I live. Yes.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
So I just think that chains like that. I think
they get bought. I mean, I'm making this up. I
don't know what really happens. By yeah, they get they
get bought, and like they have to lower food costs,
so they have to like skimp on the quality. And
so then we're with these We have these pretzels that
aren't really that good, but you keep eating them because
nostagatas they're good. Anyway, We'll just get them and hold
(42:32):
them and then maybe have one or two and then one.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Or two pretzels.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Well, because we're not gonna really want them, because they're
not gonna be that good. But I just want the
process of going to the ball getting them.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
I was just thinking, have you ever had two pretzels
in a row?
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Okay, I'll probably eat the whole thing anyway, me too.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I will eat the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
But I know if you bought the pretzels sorry, the
little nuggets, Oh, you'll eat one or two nugget.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I've seen the big twisty pretzel and You're like, we'll
eat one or two, and I'm like, first of all,
they're not even that great, and now you're committing to
eat too.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
No, sorry, than any ones. I always got the little
like nugget a little Did you get the salty ones
or the cinnamon sugar salt all day long cinnamon sugar.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
I want a salty one with a diet coke.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Okay, well you'll get that, and then I'll get the
cinnamon sugar and we can like share.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Look, can we go to the mall at the like
right when it opens so it's not busy.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
No, that's part of the Christmas cheer. What is people
everywhere and you're hustling and bustling with all your bags
and you're like excuse me, ma'am, and then like, yeah,
that's part of the fun. Yeah, okay, I'll go.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
I want to go inconvenience myself and go with you
to the mall during a busy time and we will
tear it up.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Okay, but because that.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Will bring you joy, yes, yes, And I'm sure in turn,
like right now it's sort of freaking me out, but
I will probably leave there with joy because you had fun,
and then I'll have fun and.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Like we'll go look at Santa and the kids getting
their pictures with Santam, like they're so cute.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
That sounds horrible to me, but.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
Sorry, wrench, No, it just like we'll fight for a
parking spot. Okay, No, we'll get a good deal on
something because there's sales.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah that I like.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Smell all the candles at bath and body Works.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Ye oh my, I'm not the only one that it
sounded like a double Elkushannon.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Okay, I know it's not the best place to get
a candle, but it's nostalgia. When I was thirteen, I
was doing that and getting a body glitter stick and
a lip gloss and an air freshener. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah? I just the art brand.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Did you ever have that?
Speaker 1 (44:38):
You know? Speaking of ads, I almost ordered you a
Christmas present the other day off an Instagram ad. But
I don't know how they did this, but I think
it was a scam because you'd think it would be legit.
But I went through and I ordered on like I
clicked on it, and then I justd Apple Pay and
everything should have checked out, and then it didn't send
me a receipt, and I'm like, did this not go through?
Then I got an email from them and they're like,
(44:59):
complete order. But if they send me now an email
and I have to click a different external link. Now
they're offline of Instagram where they probably had everything approved,
and now they're in my email where they can get
a little shady.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (45:12):
I don't want to tell you in case I find
it somewhere else. But I always got scammed. Well, there's
present surprise for your present. But Christmas being our next holiday,
I do have and we can wrap with this things
that you don't owe your family for the holidays because
it's overcorrect, right, because you can inconvenience yourself, for your
friends and your family and your loved ones. And it depends,
(45:36):
and you can have boundaries. And this is from doctor
Allison Kella Maguire. She's a licensed therapist, and she said
that family or not, you don't owe anyone access to
your piece, your time, or your healing. It can feel
heavy to unlearn the guilt, but protecting your well being
is not selfish. It's necessary. And again all of this
is under the it depends. Got yeah, like read all
(45:58):
of this. It depends. So here are some things you
absolutely don't owe your family unlimited access to your time,
forgiveness without accountability, excuses for their harmful behavior, emotional labor,
to keep the peace, silence when something is wrong, agreeing
with unhealthy patterns and sacrificing your well being for their comfort.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
You know what we need to do?
Speaker 1 (46:23):
What?
Speaker 3 (46:24):
And this is a little teaser for you guys. This
reminds me, I think, because there needs to be conversation
around like the nuance and the independs of this, because
this is one of those things to can be like
I don't owe you anything, I'm not showing up. But
like also there's give and take in relationships and families
more difficult than that, and we can't just cut everybody off.
We're going to do the drama triangle. Yes we are.
(46:45):
I've been talking to you about doing that, and I
think this is the perfect time of time to do that,
especially because yes, Christmas is coming up and you're probably
just been around family a lot, and there the drama triangle.
I think we've probably mentioned it before, but it is
just a pattern of unhealthy communication that we all tend
to get involved in at times.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
I've been every character.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Everybody has been every character, even if they don't want
to be, or if they don't want to admit it,
like we all have, I have, I still do it.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
It's a triangle. So there's three main players.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Yeah, you know so much about this.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I learned about it and my so Ben and I
before we got divorced, we did a year of couple's
therapy and that's when I was first introduced to the
drama triangle.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Cartman Cartman triangle.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Yeah, yeah, and our therapist like drew it on the
board and then we stood up and we did some
activities with like some hula hoops and stuff, and yeah,
I was like, oh wow, Yeah, yeah, I can get
this mode. But I also that's when I realized too,
like how it was showing up in certain friendships as well,
and it was like a light bulb went off. Yeah,
it's like a couple of the sessions. I should have
(47:50):
been there focusing on Ben and I was focusing on
other relationships because like, oh my gosh, this is mind blowing.
How we've been dancing in this triangle for so long
and no wonder, I'm so exhausted.
Speaker 3 (48:01):
Yeah, and if you don't notice it, you can't get
out of it.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah. I have no idea until it was so enlightening. Yeah,
it can be very powerful and just good information for
you to have right and evaluate.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Yeah, so we'll do that. How will we do that
next week?
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Okay, drama triangle coming up?
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Yeah, stay too.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Uh huh. Which something we do have up per y'all's
feedback is the crew neck sweatshirt of how the Day
you need to have, because we're about to say that
that's our our ending is have the Day you need
to have every episode, and we put that on a
T shirt and asking you shall receive a crew neck
was requested, so we put it like a monochromatic blue
on blue like a DNEMI type color, but on a sweatshirt.
(48:45):
It's not a DNIM sweatshirt. I don't want to be confusing.
And then navy letters and it's so cute. So if
you're a part of our newsletter, you've already seen it.
If you're not, we'll join the newsletter. It's in the
show notes how to sign up. It's easy, or you
can see stuff on social media. Feeling Things podcast is
the handle, and also Feeling Things podcast dot com is
(49:05):
where you can shop, and we'll link that in the
show notes. And with that said, we hope you have
the day you need to. Bye bye
Good. All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Ay
and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking no brother Lady's fels?
Do you just follow an the spirit where it's on
the front and real stuff to the chill stuff and
am but Swayne.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Sometimes the best thing you can do it just.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You feel things. This is feeling things with Amy and Cat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
and I got the feeling of the day, which I
don't know that it for sure is just like a
feeling feeling. But I just feel like I need to cry.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
You don't look like you feel like you need to cry.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I know how crying releases feel good chemicals, whatever that is. Like,
I think I just need a good release, and I
don't really know how I'm gonna achieve that because I
have so much to do today, so it's like it'll
come when it needs to come. But do I need
a watch something later? But what I'm very much into
(01:02):
right now is all the Christmas feel good movies and
they don't make me want to cry.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Not even a happy tear. No, not a happy Do
you would ever shed a tear at the end of
a Hallmark movie when you're like, they're together and they're happy,
no have you? I think? So Okay, I cry really easily.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I mean Netflix is loading up all kinds of old
movies left and right. You know. We put together our
little Christmas movie list, which I think has been helpful
for a lot of people. It's on our Feeling Things
podcast Instagram. That's the handle Feeling Things podcast, and it's
got Hallmark schedule, Netflix schedule, Disney who like the schedule
of new releases for twenty twenty five. But Netflix, they
(01:43):
have been loading up like Christmas movies from who knows where.
I don't even know where they're getting these, maybe Hallmark
in Lifetime and now they've transferred over and they've got
the right to them. But they're from twenty twenty three,
twenty twenty four, stuff I've never even seen.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Can I put a PSA out?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I have been trying to figure out this Christmas movie
that I used to watch when Disney channel did I
think I must have was a Disney channel or what
was that Fox Family or ABC Family or whatever that
channel was that the twenty five Days of Christmas or
something an ABC Family? Okay, and there's this one movie.
(02:20):
This is all I remember about it, but I loved
this movie even though this is all I remember, and
there was an All I know is there was a
new maybe girlfriend or stepmom figure. She might have really
been in a robot but I were like an angel.
I don't know, Okay, I don't know because Christmas was
to the end, and all I remember from that movie
(02:41):
is she got a Christmas tree, but she put real
candles on the tree, and she almost burnt the house down,
but she was trying to do something nice. I think
she was like like an angel or something. She wasn't
a real person. Maybe I don't know, but I can't
figure out what this movie is and I want to
watch it. So if you know what I'm talking about,
she put stop looking.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
No, I'm like thinking like, okay, yeah, we could google
angel or robot mom who I'm like, you haven't. You
haven't been able to find anything.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
All I remember is she put you know, those like
little like candles that are on the little like olden days,
that she put them on the tree. But they were
real candles and they were like I think I think
they may be the tree caught on fire. So if
you know what I'm talking about. I know somebody does.
Damn sure, email us hey there at Feeling thingspodcast dot com.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Because Kat needs to watch this movie.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I need to watch it. Yeah, And that's what I
have for us today.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Your your feeling of your feeling is like eager to
find out.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, and I'm sad because I haven't been able to
find it. And instead of watching that movie, I had
to watch the Jonahs brother's Christmas movie and it was
not the same vibe.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So should we watch that or not? Because I was
thinking about it.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Well, I have a thing for Joe Jonas, so yes.
Oh when I was little, I thought I was gonna
marry him. I thought that, like I had a certain
degree of separation. So I convinced myself that I was
going to meet him.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Oh so you know someone that knows him.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I knew somebody that knew somebody that sister played music with,
somebody that knew him.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Yeah, so it was totally possible.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
So I had this whole thing in my head of like,
oh my gosh, so and so is going to bring
me this concert and she's going to bring it backstage
and she's like, this is my my ex boyfriend's sister.
She is so cool, and then he was like, she's beautiful.
I want to date her, and then we were gonna
fall in love. And then it hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, thank goodness, because you've got Patrick.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Oh yeah, I think it worked out for the best.
I know it did, it did. That's what.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I think. We're okay.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
But what's crazy is in this movie Joe is like
searching for love because he's the only single brother now.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Tracks because you are now taken.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, sorry, you always want me. You can't have Joe.
You can't have me now.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, he's still searching.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I would watch it because it's so cheesy. I told
you earlier. When we watched it, we were like they
must have been paid so much money to make this
movie because they're cool, right, Like the Jonah brothers are
cool guys.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I think they've had our resurgence.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well I think themselves, like they're cool, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I don't know. I was like, you're about ten years
younger than me. So I just remember when the Jonas
brothers first got on the scene, Like I.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Was working like twenty for the pop.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Station in Austin, Like we were doing the Bobby Bone
Show and the Jonas brothers were coming to town and
we had no clue who they were, but girls were
gathered outside of the radio station like mobs of kids. Wow,
And we were like, okay, wow, these Jonas brothers, they
must be really taken off. And yeah they did. They
sure did.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So watch it because also there are a couple they're
like three or four new songs, original Christmas songs, and
they're pretty good.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Did jam it out?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Bops?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Is that we're not gonna cry watching it? Probably? It's probably,
but there was.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
A sweet ending. Okay, it's the vibe of I'll be
home for Christmas with Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Because they're trying, that's the whole g just trying to
get their flight got canceled or something.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Was trying to do a little Christmas magic.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
All right, yeah, okay, so we're in the Christmas spirit
here clearly, and we're in the crying spirit. Like I
think we're big fans of like cry if you need
to cry, and I think that's what I need. I
told you this the other day that I got tears
in my eyes. Remember we were texting and I, oh, yeah,
I was like I think that I just need to cry.
(06:29):
So this has been since that was Thursday Fridays, so
four days ago. I think I told you I think
I just need to cry, and here we are. I
still haven't cried because I don't I don't know I
have been able to force it. But when I think
I just really needed my mom and she's not here,
(06:50):
so I don't even really know what I needed to
talk to her about. Maybe it was fresh because my
sister came to town and was meeting my boyfriend for
the first time. But all I knew is right when
I had the thought of I think I need my
mom and I texted you, I think I need my mom,
I got tears in my eyes and a lump in
my throat and I was like, okay, that must be
what it is like, ding ding ding, And then also
(07:11):
I think I just need to cry. I think some
of it today is a mixture of hormonal stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Well, also, remember a couple of weeks ago, you were
like my mom's death ofversary and you said it didn't
hit you as hard, and you're like, I don't know why.
Maybe you're having a little bit of two like because
so much was going on right then, now you're starting
to feel it more and it's the holidays. So this
is a good example of like the highs and lows
(07:38):
of that of like some days you're okay, and you
were like, I don't think about my mom every day,
but like I was like, I think you might think
of her more than you think. It comes and it goes,
and there's certain times where it hits you at certain
times where it doesn't. And this is it's hitting you.
There's a lot of stuff going on in your life
and you might want to call her and tell her
about it.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, that's probably it. I just love to talk to her.
So I know today, at some point or in the
next few days, I hope that tears flow and I
get those feel good chemicals and I sort of feel
a little bit back to normal. But that's my feeling.
My feeling of the day is like if only I
get just like cry. So however that's going to happen,
(08:16):
if somebody can make that happen, that'd be great.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I think maybe you watch something sad or nostalgic. I
don't want anybody to try to make you cry, because
that's what are they gonna say.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
So give me an idea like should I go look
at old photos like what? I don't know. I haven't.
I haven't really had time to think about it. But
I did see an article talking about people who cry easily.
And what's so funny is I saw this article and
then you texted it to me and I was like, oh,
I already submitted that through my show prep on the
Morning Show, and then you've sent it to me, and
(08:46):
I was like, Okay, we should tell people about this
in case they didn't know, because it's real. A Harvard
neurologist people who cry easily have a faster connecting brain.
Now here's my conundrum. Right now, I typically do cry easy,
but right now I'm having difficulty crying. So now I
(09:08):
don't know if I have a fast connecting brain at
the moment.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Wait, but you cry. If I were to tell you
something sad right now, you would you would cry with me.
I know that. Yeah, this feels different, like you have
like an emotional block right now to your own stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Okay, but I.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Do think if you were to see a video, like
here's something you could do, get on TikTok or Instagram
and watch videos of like kids seeing their dads come
home after deployment, or like kids getting puppies for Christmas
or stuff like that, Like I'm always crying at that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, so yeah, Or if you told me something about you, yes,
I know that I yes, okay, yeah, so yay, we
can still celebrate. We have fast connecting brains and the
reason behind this is brain scans show stronger bridge between
the amygdala, which is emotion, and the prefrontal cortex, which
is logic, and their feeling don't block their thinking, they
enhance it. When someone tears up, their nervous system is
(10:04):
processing emotional data in real time. They can read the
room before the room knows what it feels. Emotional responders
predict conflict forty percent more accurately and resolve it faster.
And there was a quote in the article that said
crying is not a loss of control. It's the nervous
system integrating faster than most people can think. If you
(10:24):
cry on a whim, just be like, yeah, I'm emotional.
This is not a loss of control. I just have
a faster connecting brain.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Yeah, and yeah, we just feel I think at a
different level. Yeah, sometimes it does get in the way, though,
you know, they're crying sometimes. I yeah, sometimes I cry
everything everything, And I think that has changed as I
got as I've gotten older, because I used to be
able to be a brick wall with clients. More so, I.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Don't know how you do that. Like, quite honestly, if
I had clients telling me certain things, which I get it,
it's you're being a professional. You have to compartmentalize, but
you've gotta gosh if especially if they're crying, yeah, and
you just have to sit there.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Oh, I've started just crying and being like, I'm crying
with you. I think it's different depending on what they're
talking about. But sometimes, like if a client's share if
a family member has died and they're sharing that, I
think it's kind of awkward. If you're just staring at them,
it can be so if you shed a tear, they
might feel like more empathy. I mean, I know personally
(11:31):
when my therapist has cried with me, I've had that experience.
One time I shared something that happened and she started crying.
I was I kind of was like, what are you
crying for? And she said this, You've been waiting to
hear this. It was something that somebody said to me.
So you've been waiting to hear this your whole life, Like,
I'm so happy for you. And I kind of was like,
oh should I should I crush? Yeah? Yeah, So that
(11:55):
was very helpful because she was showing like, oh, that's
that's a big deal. And I think also if somebody
is that's one example, and then another is if something happens,
like somebody passes away or there is some kind of
tragedy or trauma, when somebody's sitting there and sharing that
motion with you, it feels safer, I think for me personally.
(12:15):
I know when I shared something with you a couple
of years ago, something with somebody's health in our family,
and I started crying and then you started crying. It
was actually very helpful.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Okay, so we were able to cry together, yes, and
be there for each other. That's the other thing we're
going to talk about, which this might be a good
tie in of friendships and inconvenience, Like sometimes it might
be not be very convenient for you to have a
hard conversation with a friend or even cry in that
moment with them. But I had seen a post about
(12:49):
normalizing inconveniencing yourself for your friends, and it was just
that text overlay over a reel of a girl making
a homemade cake for her friend's birthday, or maybe it
wasn't even a friend, but she was just like normalized
inconveniencing yourself for the people you love, and that, yeah,
is it the most convenient to make the cake? But no, no,
(13:09):
but if you can, let's try to bring some of
that back. And what's so funny is you saw something
like the exact staff. We must have the same algorithm
because we saw the crying thing and then we saw
the you saw something totally different about that.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I saw it was a post from the POC therapist
and she said it was just a it was a carousel,
and the first page just said friendships are inconvenient. And
that's something I talk about all the time. And I
think there's a difference between a friendship being something being
inconvenient and something being a burden because a lot of
times we don't want to ask for things because or
(13:45):
share things with people or whatever, because we don't want
to burden the people we love. And I don't think
you sharing something with me are asking me for something
wouldn't be a burden. But like I shared with you,
if you broke down the side of the road and
you needed me to come pick you up, and I
was doing something, it would be inconvenient for me to
(14:06):
have to drop that or drive thirty minutes to go
get you or whatever. But that wouldn't feel like a
burden to me, like you would want I would want
to do it. And that's what friendships are. And I
think that's what makes friendships deeper and more meaningful, is
that we do those things. It's not just like we
hang out and we have a good time. It's like,
I know if I needed something, you would be there,
(14:26):
vice versa.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, and to create that that that understanding, like maybe
that hasn't happened yet, but there's just this all knowing that, like, yeah,
this person's going to show up for me, because some
of that feels lost.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah, well, because I think there's this even down to like, you.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Know, if you're if you need your neighbor to help
you with.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Something like, oh, I still haven't met my neighbors.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
You need to get on that.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Well, one of them hasn't moved in yet. It's not
my fault, but the other one, I don't know. I
think cookies or something in.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
The Facebook group yet No, Oh, it's blowing my mind.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
No, but yeah, I guess I could go say hi
to them. I could go do that. Yes, but I
do agree. I think part of the that lost is
we have overcorrected a little bit in the I don't
owe anybody anything, you know, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Sort of like the boundaries of like, I know it's
your birthday, but I need to protect my mental health
and I'm feeling really tired right now, so I'm not
gonna come like the pendulum swung way too too far
of like, oh, good for you, you're taking care of
your mental health. But also it's like, well, wait a second,
this is one of your really good friends, so you
may have to sacrifice menience.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yes, And also if I want people to do that
for me, if I want people to show up for me,
why would I think that I wouldn't need to reciprocate
that to an extent, You're.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Right, and obviously there's cases in which that might totally
make sense. We're talking about the like it depends, Yeah,
it depends.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah, So yes, if something happens, like if there is
like a tragedy or something, or you have the flu,
I don't expect you to come to.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
My birth my mom died, I'm not going to be
able to come.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Like I say, Okay, I get it, we get it.
But if you're like, oh, I'm really tired because I
had to work today, well yeah, I'm tired too. Yeah
I'm tired all the time. So I do get that.
But and I think also that's a part of us learning,
is over correcting, because then we can say like, oh,
this doesn't totally feel right, let me try this version
(16:27):
of it so we can get back there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I think that that's oftentimes part of the process, like
you were saying, like certain things. For me when I'm evolving,
sometimes I do swing a little bit too far, but
it's almost necessary because I have to get into that
mindset and then I'm like, Okay, I can level back out,
like I had like a strict moment, very different than
you know, prioritizing my mental health. I guess I'm thinking
(16:52):
more of like my eating disorder recovery, like I've swung
so far of like the other direction that I felt
like I can't have any rules or boundaries around food
because I really really don't think I could at the time,
and now I can just for my overall health and
well being, Like I can think a certain way about
food or know that I'm not going to have that
at this time. But it was sort of like a
(17:14):
free for all for a while. Yeah, And I was
very passionate almost to not always rational about when I
would talk to people about things and thinking no, I
have to do it this way. Yeah, I was like,
oh gosh, I'm sort of embarrassed. But that was just
part of my journey to get back to the middle
ground where I am well.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
I think when that happens, because that is very normal
in recovery is you have to open up all the
doors really wide. So in your recovery, the doors were
all in your eating disorder, the doors are all totally shut,
and so like we have to make sure that there's
like room to get in. So you open them really wide,
you go in, you see it fits, and you see
it doesn't. And then after you have normalized and have
(17:54):
habituated to a lot of these things, then you can
kind of see where you really fit in there. But
I think a lot of anti diet culture it when
I swung it swung.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It's I swung with it. Yeah, Like my recovery time
hit right around that swing, and I was like, all
on board. Remember one time Bobby and I were arguing
about carrots and French fries. I remember one time Bobby
(18:26):
and I were arguing about carrots and French fries, and
I was like, they're the same, They're the same, Like
a French fry is good, a carrot is good. Well,
first of all, food isn't good or bad because it's
not and there's no moral value on food. But obviously,
if you're thinking rationally, you can know someone is saying like, Okay,
the nutritional value of this particular food is not the
same as the nutritional value of this food. But I
(18:49):
was so like adamant that, like, will you eat enough
carrots and they're going to be bad for you? Which
is true. You have too much water and it could
be bad for you, Like there can be too much
of everything. But we got in a really big fight
about carrots and French fries, and we were taping something
for the Bobby Bone Show, and I remember him being like,
let's just throw that out, like this is it's like
(19:10):
I can't even talk to you. Yeah, you didn't have
a conversation with me, because anybody will tell you that
something fried is not gonna be the same thing as
a raw carrot.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
The nutrient density is different, correct, And I also think
what was lost in this is like a whole nother
probably podcast we could do is which I'm very grateful for.
But in as the pendrlum swung and like anti diit culture,
like there was this whole revolution a couple of years ago,
five six, seven years ago, there was a lot of
(19:41):
talk about intuitive eating, which is very important. But one
of the pillars of intuitive eating is actual like mindful nutrition,
and so people didn't know that. They just heard intuitive
eating a lot, and like intuitive eating is eating when
you're hungry and stopping when you're full and listening to
what your body wants and all of that. But there
is there's pillars of it there, there are these different
(20:03):
parts of it. It's not just that. And part of
it is practicing mindful nutrition, which includes actually paying attention
to what your body needs and what it's like really
asking for internally and not just what we're wanting externally.
So that got lost in the sauce, and then intuitive
eating turned into something that it really wasn't. And at
(20:24):
the same time, I will say, as somebody in recovery.
You needed to normalize French fries. You needed to think
that for a little bit of time.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
And I was really, you could hear, what about anybody
listening that we're going to hear that French fries were bad?
Because I was like, I don't want someone to not
eat French fries today because of this conversation. Like it,
I felt like it was like a response, they eat
the fries, right, and I'm not responsible for their journey
and if they want to eat the fries or not.
I just it was exhausting. I was exhaust I was
(20:53):
exhausting to people. And it's almost like in my eating disorder,
I was exhausting to people.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Ough, Like did I tell you that my nieces and
nephews talked about this one time. I think I hosted Thanksgiving?
Did you make call for I made all kinds of
horrible things, So let me tell you. They were just
I thought were equal substitutes, which I get. If you
have to substitute something for your like your digestion or
(21:19):
an allergy or what not, go for it. Nobody in
my family had an allergy, including yourself, including me. But
I was like right there making every gluten free vegan.
You know, so everything's no dairy. I mean it's Thanksgiving.
It's like what are what is this mac and cheese?
I don't even know. But my sister has four kids.
They came from Colorado to Nashville. I'm hosting, and this
(21:42):
is what I'm serving everybody, like my dad, my sister,
her husband, my husband. Like nobody was into it, but
nobody really said anything at the time. But now it's
like the family joke, like now that BB's what they
call me. Now that BB's healthy and in recovery and
we're all better now, they're like, remember, apparently it's something
talk about at their house, like they bring up often,
(22:02):
like remember Bebee's meal, and like what I created for people,
Like I just sucked the joy Right now.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
We were sitting there being like, yes, I got everybody
to eat this healthy meal, and they're loving it. They're
gonna go home and make these recipes. Meanwhile, they're like
shoving the food under the table.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yes, Like I was thinking, Wow, I pulled one over
on them, like just as good as the real stuff.
And it was like, looking back, I bet if I
were to make that now, I'd be like and no,
but things also tasted different to me. Yeah, like it
actually probably did taste good to me because that's what
I was used to or my I was, yeah, playing
(22:36):
a little game convincing myself that it was good. But yeah,
thankfully now I think that pendulum went from one area
of blah to another area blocked and it landed right
in the middle of like I can be a joy
to be around with food.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, And for anybody who's listening, this is to give
give grace to the people going through recovery that they
might have a little bit of that they need that
space to like explore, and then also give grace to
yourself if you're going through that, Like you're not going
to be like, oh, I want to find recovery or
I want to help heal this part of me, and
(23:13):
then in a week you're like, oh, look I can
do all this stuff. Like you're going to have to
explore and see what feels right, and it's not something
I think through that whole shift sometimes, and I think
part of it was because that's when like TikTok and
there was a whole resurgence and social media and stuff
and it was starting to change, So there was a
lot of information that was given in very simple ways,
(23:36):
and I might have been part of the problem too,
But I think because of that, people thought it was
going to be it should be easier and more simple,
or like I just snap my fingers, and it's not
like that. So give yourself grace.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
There's like, let may be a story of hope one
day day one day. I never thought that. I don't know,
I guess I just there was a time where I
guess I thought, well, this is just my life. It's
just going to be exhausting and miserable. And now I'm
still exhausted a little bit, it's just for different reasons.
(24:11):
I'm not miserable though.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Okay, so that's progress forward, progress, progress, yea.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
And yeah, I mean I'm glad we brought up because
even the friend thing, like if your friends are going
through something hard, that might be another inconvenience for you.
Of like when your friends are going through something, that
might be a time where you might need to show
up a little bit more. But you're right, it's an inconvenience,
but it's not a burden. And if it feels like
a burden, that's information to pay pay attention to. Like
if deep within your soul. You are annoyed by the
(24:39):
whole thing, then maybe you need to take a hard
look at yourself or.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Have a conversa.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
That friendship is that well, I don't know, is that
information that maybe that friendship's not that there's it depends.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
I think it depends. I think it's information. We don't
know what the information is.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I think, like in a romantic relationship, it could be information,
like if it's your boyfriend, like it could be information
of like why am I not wanting to show up
for this person? Like that could be some data. Although
I inconvenienced to myself for my boyfriend the other day
he needed a ride from the airport, but I couldn't
like hang out with him at all after And I
mean he could have easily had somebody else to pick
(25:16):
him up or take it uber, but I was like, no, no,
I got you. I got you because you wanted to,
because I wanted to. So I went, which I don't
live anywhere near the airport, and I don't really live
near him either, but I had to get right back
to my house, so I left and it probably took
the whole trip was about an hour and a half.
So I left my house, went to the airport, picked
him up, drove from the airport to his house, then
from his house came back to mine. That's it. It
(25:37):
was like hi hahi, by welcome back, you know. But
apparently in the car ride I was sort of negative.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Killing the vibe.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I killed the vibe. And so when we got to
the when I got to the airport to pick him up,
I got out and went and got in the passenger
seat and he got in the driver's seat. So he
was driving and there was someone that was recklessly driving
near us, and he kind of gave them a look,
and then he had some road rage happen. And I'm like,
where in my car I fear retaliation. I don't want you.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Such a fear of retaliation?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Really do were in every everything where? Does this a
negative review? I won't leave one a tip You're getting
a good one?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Like does this come from somewhere? I'm sorry I'm derailing
your story, but the news I don't know. Okay, So
nobody's ever retaliated at you, and this is like your
response to like, I can't ever have that again.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, I haven't personally experienced retaliation because not on my watch,
I'm good, like I think, okay, that could happen.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I don't think, okay, just the interesting like that's one
of I feel like I hear about that more than
any other fear of yours. Yeah, okay, so you're.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
In the car and I have no interest in changing
that fear. By the way, there's no problem because like
why would I. The minute I decided to change, I
get retaliated.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
On that's true, like no, yeah, no, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
So he gives this woman a look and then you know,
when you're driving, okay, we're taking an exit, like she's
aggressively driving towards us, like there's like a game happening.
So then we are taking an exit, she speeds up,
scoots over in front of us in the exit, and
slows way down. So now we're having to go really slow.
(27:16):
It's not even her exit, so last minute as she can,
she zooms back onto the high stop.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yes, okay, this reminds me of the show Beef. Okay,
well have you seen it?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Does that? Well? Yeah, exactly, like do you see that
is the dominoes just keep falling and then yeah, it's
not good.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Also, have you seen the video that went around on
Instagram where somebody pulls they they cut somebody off, and
then they pump on their brakes and then they put
their car and reverse and smash into that car, so
it looks like that car hit them.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah. See, I have no interest in that game, don't.
I don't want to part of it.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
It's happened.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
If he hadn't looked at her and just let her
do her thing and slowed down and let her go
on her very way, we wouldn't have been in this
yeh little car Wars situation. And I was really worked up.
And then he was like sorry, I mean, he was
coming off a trip. He's like, I just haven't gotten
a lot of sleep. And then honestly he's like, this
whole car it has not been that much fun because
(28:16):
you've just been negative like and I was like, oh wait,
And I said, so let me get this clear. You're
now blaming your road rage attitude and your reaction to
her in this little game you're playing that put our
lives at risk by the way, on me.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
And he said he said, well no, no, he said.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I have to take responsibility for my action. I mean
he realized that that's sort of what he was doing.
He's like, I have to take responsibility for my action.
And then we paused, pause, pause, pause, take a deep breath, breath, breath,
breath out. And then I said, also, I am sorry
for being negative. And then I saw some article the
other day. I talked about it on the Bobby Bone Show.
(28:58):
I don't know if it was hard or something like
that tell tells, but they were talking about I know
this is loose information, take at risk, Yeah, take it
for what you will. But she was talking about how
feelings take about ninety seconds to like fully process through
(29:19):
your body, and then it's what you decide to do
after that that can keep them blooping. So it's your
response to the feeling and then whether or not you
want to keep ruminating on it, and then it's living
rent free.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
So I in that moment, I had some feelings happening,
and I recalled that article and I was like, Okay,
this is uncomfortable. R. Now, I'm gonna give it about
ninety seconds. I'm gonna give about ninety seconds and then
we're gonna we're gonna move on because he's out of town.
I really wanted to go get him. It should have
been fun. I was negative, I'm sorry, So I need
to own that, and then he can own his road
(29:55):
rage and then we will forget about this and move on.
And then the rest of the day was okay because
I was dropping off at home but going back to
my house to cook dinner because we had people coming
over and him and his kids were coming over. And
then by the time like we got to his house
and he got out of the car, like everything was fine. Yeah,
but that's one of those things. If I, if I
(30:16):
maybe wasn't thinking about that and I didn't let the
feeling just like go through my body and give myself
the ninety seconds, like we could have turned that into
like a real you're not even coming over dinner later, Yeah,
just forget about it, Just forget about it.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Well, I'm not being a good time. Just forget about it.
You don't have to come over tonight.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Don't worry about it, right, And then he would be like,
come on, please stop being ridiculous, and I'd be like, no, serious,
this is really serious. We're done.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I think you could go that far. Yeah, do you
ever like get in a fight kind of and then
like you start laughing. You have to keep yourself from
laughing because in your head you're like, so stupid, but
like at the same time you're like, no, I'm mad.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, but you know, sometimes laughing when I'm in a
really intense situation as one of my trauma responses. Oh
so it's probably for a different way and me probably,
But also I guess I could do that. If I'm
being ridiculous, then I might be like, Okay, this is dumb.
But I actually have been a very probably the one
of the most intense situations of my life. I'm not
(31:15):
going to get into it. I've not shared it publicly,
but it's one of the darkest nights of my life.
No reason for laughter, none whatsoever. I can't even imagine
laughing now thinking back on it. But there I was.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Was it a giggle or a hysterics?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
No, not hysterics, just like I couldn't like, I couldn't
help but laugh at the situation, almost just like a
I can't believe this is I can't believe this is happening.
I'm laughing. And then that made things worse. You don't
there's other people there, and my sister was like, what
are you doing?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Stop?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
And I'm like, I don't know, and so then with
my therapist, I told her that because I felt like
a crazy person.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Sociopath, because you weren't feeling funny.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
No, if anything, I felt so sad and hurt and anger. Yeah,
all of my emotions were no laughter, no laughter in
the mix. And Janet, who you respect? Am I allowed
to say that? You know that she was my therapist?
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Did you know that I'm allowed to?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
I never know you therapists and your hip hop but whatever.
She she told me that that was my trauma response
and that she gave me the green light. That was
a okay, and I am not the only person in
the world that would be in that situation laughing.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Yeah, I was like, thank you. So you're like, there's
nothing wrong with me, that's just like And.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Then I thought back to sometimes when I get spanked
as a kid and I was in trouble with my parents,
they would spank me and I would laugh.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
That probably backfired on you.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Oh well, backfiring and the laughing situation I had as
an adult that backfired on me. It made everything worse.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Yeah, But but I was like, I don't know if well,
if I was spanking my kid, I don't think I'm
going to be doing that and they laughed. I think
I'd be like what am I doing? I'm like, this
isn't funny, and like also what am I doing? Right?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
But also I don't know, I know, I know, but
it wasn't like a laugh like hahaha, but it was
the laughter like I had with and I remember as
a kid kind of feeling like am I like the
devil or something? Why am I laughing? Like what's wrong
with me?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I felt like it's a demon inside me.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I felt like, you know, weird about it. But then
I got affirmed from my therapist, which I don't know
if y'all are just supposed to do that to your clients,
Like is.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
There ever weird?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Well, like I know you are, but like what if
I was literally doing something that wasn't normal? Like how
would Janet say that to me? Like I know you
can't speak for her, but I'm just saying loosely, let's
just hypothetical. I'm talking to a therapist and I'm doing
something that is like that's actually a worrisome response, like
she was saying my laughing was a trauma response and
I should feel okay with that and don't think it
(34:08):
it's a coping thing. What if I was responding in
some way that is very dangerous and not good and
it is.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I think we would share that with you.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Yeah, like you would say, you wouldn't affirm me. You'd
be like, okay, well you just did what you needed
to do.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
No, no, And I actually think sometimes there's like a
like we were talking before, sometimes we therapists have overcorrected
and we affirm too much, and like there is a
clinical we have clinical judgment, and what might be okay
for somebody, it's not always okay. That's why I say
it depends all the time. What is worrisome for one
client might not be worrisome for another. And then there
(34:43):
are things that are worrisome all around. But yes, there
are things that we'd have to be like, okay, So
like let's talk about why this is how you responded,
and why this might be hurtful or this might be scary,
or this might be dangerous, or this might not be
the most adaptive healthy coping skill. So let's see if
we can find some healthier ones. You know, like your
eating disorder is a coping skill, and that's not a
(35:04):
healthy coping skill. So she's not like, oh, don't worry
that you've made all of this vegan thanks gaming food,
because that's you were just taking care of yourself. Like
we would have a conversation about like okay, like why
is We wouldn't use why, but we would talk about
are you about to say that no?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Keep going in and I have a thought?
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Would we would have a conversation about like what feels
important about this and what is this keeping you from
and all of that versus just being like that's bad.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Well, it's reminding me back to the word of inconvenience.
Like I what I did that Thanksgiving is I decided
to inconvenience in my family and serve them a meal
that was like I wasn't a hostess to the mostess
at all whatsoever in that situation, as opposed to inconveniencing
myself for a day and serving our family recipes or
something that they would actually enjoy.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Yeah, Grace, we grow.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
So Shannon found the Harvard brain scientist doctor Jill Taylor
talking about the ninety seconds. Here's what the research showed.
Ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion
and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it
when you're stressed, pausing ninety seconds and labeling what you're feeling, like,
for example, I'm getting angry. This tampers down activity in
(36:28):
the amygdala MRI. Studies of the brain show that this
emotion labeling calms the brain region involved in angry outbursts
and helps you regain control. So, yeah, I gave myself
that ninety seconds in the car case study proof, experiment,
data done. It worked, and my boyfriend is typically really
(36:48):
good at that, like he's the one that stays more calm,
but he that was the first time I saw the
road rade situation come out, and I.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Was like, whoa, I can't see him doing that. Yeah,
it was a.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Shockered me too, And I'm like, well, I guess I
learned more about you today. And he was like, well,
this car right has just not been fun?
Speaker 3 (37:07):
All right, sucks.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
And I was like, well, sorry, I inconvenienced myself and
drove all the way here to get you from the airport.
And then I was negative, Nancy, what oh dang it,
what dang it? What?
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Okay? Well, I saw something being highlighted in our dock
and I read the word holiday and Christmas, and I
thought she hadn't found the movie, but she didn't dang it.
So nothing came up in a Google search. See, it's
like I can't find it all right?
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Sorry, Well, Christmas is our next holiday in the books
because Thanksgiving is out? Check.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Can I offer a stocking stuffer for all you people
out there?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
And in the room, everybod it's like, yes, okay, So
usually this doesn't happen to me, but I got worked.
I feel like you're rubbing off on me in a
good way because you know I'm here, and they're like,
don't buy into things you see on the internet and
you're kind of over here. I kept seeing this ad
for a black cherry Clinique lip gloss. Has anybody else
(38:14):
seen this ad? No?
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Why do I keep But I'll probably get it now
that you're saying it. I feel like I have bad
memories with Clinic, but I'll tell you about that later.
I mean, Clinic is still good. It's a good brand,
but it's like speaking of childhood trauma. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
I was like, why is this getting fed to me?
Because one, I don't think I've gotten something from Clinique
since I was fifteen years old. But good for them.
It was everywhere, and I kept seeing it over and over,
so finally I was like, I want to buy something today.
I'm going to buy this lip gloss. I'm wearing it now.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
It is.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
It's like a color, but it's not like a lipstick,
so it's not like thick. Does that make sense. It's
like not a stain, but it's not a lipstick. But
it's not a chapstick. But it's not actually a gloss.
What is bomb? It's a bud, It's a ball. It's
a ball.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
It's a ball.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Okay. Anyway, it looks like this, and it is. It's
really dark, but it doesn't show up that dark on
your lips and you can like layer it and stuff too.
I love it. And apparently it's like universally beautiful on people.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Because it's a pH responder or what.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
I don't know if it is one of those Bobby
Brown has a really good one that responds to PhD.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
No, we got it in New York.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Well remember that one color I really liked on me,
but you didn't like on you. It was like completely
different and it was crazy. But they also this comes
in and a lip oil too, so if you are
wanting to put a little stocking stuff for somewhere. I
feel like Clinq is back.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Is Clinic back? I mean it might be. I think
it might be because like j Cruise back, Banana Pelop's back,
like all those brands that we went away bent. I mean,
they've always been around, but I think they're just having
a resurgence, like another moment, and maybe for some people
that never went away. I don't think it's bad if
you've always been a fan. But one time my dad
(39:56):
in high school bought me Clinique powder, and my stepma
for reaked out like that he spent that kind of
money on my powder because I should be getting maybe
Lene from the drug store. She said that to your
face or she said it to my dad, and like
I heard it was maybe on the phone or were you.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
Like you can have eye.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Just remember we were at the mall and I really
wanted this Clinic powder, you know, was in the green
case and the perfect little sponge, and he got it
for me, and then it became an ordeal, like.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
So did he share with you that she said that?
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
I think it was he. We must have gotten in
the car and he was on the phone with her
and it just was not Oh good. I was trying
to do something sweet, but I think she was just
sort of like, you don't need to spend that on
a kid, Like how old were you? Probably fifteen, fourteen,
I don't know. I just remember probably freshman year of
high school or something.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Good time, we go to the clinic and we should
I should have bought this, like.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I'm gonna buy whatever powder i'll want and.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
We create a memory. But also I should have bought
this at the store because I could have gotten the
gift with purchase that they always do. Yeah, they still
do that.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
The gifts with purchase were legit. My mom would buy
makeup for her and give me the gift yellow moisturizer.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Yeah, so much that, But also all those little like
make a bag.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yeah, good times.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just go to the mall. I love going to the mall.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
I love it. Remember the last time we went and
picked out pajamas and I love.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
Going to the mall at Christmas, Yes, we did, and
then Patrick didn't like those pajamas and I was like,
I don't even care. I love the mall at Christmas.
We should go and we have to get Anti Ann's pretzels.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Okay, I gotta say I used to be upset with
those or not upset. I used to be obsessed with those,
And I was kind of upset the last time I
got one because it didn't hit right.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
They've changed, They're not as good, but I mean you
still have to get them, maybe just like carry it around.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
But what happened, Like did they change the recipe?
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Because I think everything has been not as good, like
Chili's used to slap and now Chili sucks shouting Chipoli,
chicken crispers and their skillet case. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I used to love the uh chicken egg rolls at Chili's.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Southwest e Girls.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Yes, yeah, the Southwest Chicken. Oh in college, yes I live. Yes.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
So I just think that chains like that. I think
they get bought. I mean, I'm making this up. I
don't know what really happens. By yeah, they get they
get bought, and like they have to lower food costs,
so they have to like skimp on the quality. And
so then we're with these We have these pretzels that
aren't really that good, but you keep eating them because
nostagatas they're good. Anyway, We'll just get them and hold
(42:32):
them and then maybe have one or two and then one.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Or two pretzels.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Well, because we're not gonna really want them, because they're
not gonna be that good. But I just want the
process of going to the ball getting them.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
I was just thinking, have you ever had two pretzels
in a row?
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Okay, I'll probably eat the whole thing anyway, me too.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I will eat the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
But I know if you bought the pretzels sorry, the
little nuggets, Oh, you'll eat one or two nugget.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I've seen the big twisty pretzel and You're like, we'll
eat one or two, and I'm like, first of all,
they're not even that great, and now you're committing to
eat too.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
No, sorry, than any ones. I always got the little
like nugget a little Did you get the salty ones
or the cinnamon sugar salt all day long cinnamon sugar.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
I want a salty one with a diet coke.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Okay, well you'll get that, and then I'll get the
cinnamon sugar and we can like share.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Look, can we go to the mall at the like
right when it opens so it's not busy.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
No, that's part of the Christmas cheer. What is people
everywhere and you're hustling and bustling with all your bags
and you're like excuse me, ma'am, and then like, yeah,
that's part of the fun. Yeah, okay, I'll go.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
I want to go inconvenience myself and go with you
to the mall during a busy time and we will
tear it up.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Okay, but because that.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Will bring you joy, yes, yes, And I'm sure in turn,
like right now it's sort of freaking me out, but
I will probably leave there with joy because you had fun,
and then I'll have fun and.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Like we'll go look at Santa and the kids getting
their pictures with Santam, like they're so cute.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
That sounds horrible to me, but.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
Sorry, wrench, No, it just like we'll fight for a
parking spot. Okay, No, we'll get a good deal on
something because there's sales.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah that I like.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Smell all the candles at bath and body Works.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Ye oh my, I'm not the only one that it
sounded like a double Elkushannon.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Okay, I know it's not the best place to get
a candle, but it's nostalgia. When I was thirteen, I
was doing that and getting a body glitter stick and
a lip gloss and an air freshener. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah? I just the art brand.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Did you ever have that?
Speaker 1 (44:38):
You know? Speaking of ads, I almost ordered you a
Christmas present the other day off an Instagram ad. But
I don't know how they did this, but I think
it was a scam because you'd think it would be legit.
But I went through and I ordered on like I
clicked on it, and then I justd Apple Pay and
everything should have checked out, and then it didn't send
me a receipt, and I'm like, did this not go through?
Then I got an email from them and they're like,
(44:59):
complete order. But if they send me now an email
and I have to click a different external link. Now
they're offline of Instagram where they probably had everything approved,
and now they're in my email where they can get
a little shady.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (45:12):
I don't want to tell you in case I find
it somewhere else. But I always got scammed. Well, there's
present surprise for your present. But Christmas being our next holiday,
I do have and we can wrap with this things
that you don't owe your family for the holidays because
it's overcorrect, right, because you can inconvenience yourself, for your
friends and your family and your loved ones. And it depends,
(45:36):
and you can have boundaries. And this is from doctor
Allison Kella Maguire. She's a licensed therapist, and she said
that family or not, you don't owe anyone access to
your piece, your time, or your healing. It can feel
heavy to unlearn the guilt, but protecting your well being
is not selfish. It's necessary. And again all of this
is under the it depends. Got yeah, like read all
(45:58):
of this. It depends. So here are some things you
absolutely don't owe your family unlimited access to your time,
forgiveness without accountability, excuses for their harmful behavior, emotional labor,
to keep the peace, silence when something is wrong, agreeing
with unhealthy patterns and sacrificing your well being for their comfort.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
You know what we need to do?
Speaker 1 (46:23):
What?
Speaker 3 (46:24):
And this is a little teaser for you guys. This
reminds me, I think, because there needs to be conversation
around like the nuance and the independs of this, because
this is one of those things to can be like
I don't owe you anything, I'm not showing up. But
like also there's give and take in relationships and families
more difficult than that, and we can't just cut everybody off.
We're going to do the drama triangle. Yes we are.
(46:45):
I've been talking to you about doing that, and I
think this is the perfect time of time to do that,
especially because yes, Christmas is coming up and you're probably
just been around family a lot, and there the drama triangle.
I think we've probably mentioned it before, but it is
just a pattern of unhealthy communication that we all tend
to get involved in at times.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
I've been every character.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Everybody has been every character, even if they don't want
to be, or if they don't want to admit it,
like we all have, I have, I still do it.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
It's a triangle. So there's three main players.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Yeah, you know so much about this.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I learned about it and my so Ben and I
before we got divorced, we did a year of couple's
therapy and that's when I was first introduced to the
drama triangle.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Cartman Cartman triangle.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Yeah, yeah, and our therapist like drew it on the
board and then we stood up and we did some
activities with like some hula hoops and stuff, and yeah,
I was like, oh wow, Yeah, yeah, I can get
this mode. But I also that's when I realized too,
like how it was showing up in certain friendships as well,
and it was like a light bulb went off. Yeah,
it's like a couple of the sessions. I should have
(47:50):
been there focusing on Ben and I was focusing on
other relationships because like, oh my gosh, this is mind blowing.
How we've been dancing in this triangle for so long
and no wonder, I'm so exhausted.
Speaker 3 (48:01):
Yeah, and if you don't notice it, you can't get
out of it.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah. I have no idea until it was so enlightening. Yeah,
it can be very powerful and just good information for
you to have right and evaluate.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Yeah, so we'll do that. How will we do that
next week?
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Okay, drama triangle coming up?
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Yeah, stay too.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Uh huh. Which something we do have up per y'all's
feedback is the crew neck sweatshirt of how the Day
you need to have, because we're about to say that
that's our our ending is have the Day you need
to have every episode, and we put that on a
T shirt and asking you shall receive a crew neck
was requested, so we put it like a monochromatic blue
on blue like a DNEMI type color, but on a sweatshirt.
(48:45):
It's not a DNIM sweatshirt. I don't want to be confusing.
And then navy letters and it's so cute. So if
you're a part of our newsletter, you've already seen it.
If you're not, we'll join the newsletter. It's in the
show notes how to sign up. It's easy, or you
can see stuff on social media. Feeling Things podcast is
the handle, and also Feeling Things podcast dot com is
(49:05):
where you can shop, and we'll link that in the
show notes. And with that said, we hope you have
the day you need to. Bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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