Kat is feeling antsy for a getaway (and a Paradise binge), while Amy feels excited for her "More Whimsy, Less Worry" talk. Those are their feelings of the day and here’s what’s discussed in this episode:
- The 8 & 80 Rule: Amy shares that there are only two people you should be living for. What would your 8-year-old self say about your silliness? And what is your 80-year-old self yelling at you to do right now?
- The Disrespect Trap: Are you accidentally teaching people that your time has no value or that your decisions need their approval? They break down the 4 ways we "train" people how to treat us and the specific scripts to use to take your power back.
- The 5 Levels of Listening: Are you actually tuned in, or are you just "waiting for your turn to talk"? They audit our listening habits from "Distracted" to "Hearing what’s unsaid."
- Cocktail Lessons: Why the White Russian is now a "no" for Amy & how it’s different from a Bushwacker!
- The Pillow Hack: Why we are all moving our pillows into the sunlight this week to kill bacteria and clear up our skin.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
and Cat gotcha, Covi and locking No.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Brother, ladies and peons, do you just follow an the
spirit where it's all the front.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And real stuff to the chill stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you
can do it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
This is feeling things.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
With Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.
I'm Amy and I'm Kat and my feeling of the
day is excited.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
That's one of my feelings.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It is, Oh what they're definitely for two different reasons.
Because does yours have to do with leading a health
and wellness talk on a cruise?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Okay, So I'm in charge of a talk on our
cruise that we're doing the Bobby Bone shows on a
cruise And I got an email from people Are a company.
They're like, do you have like the theme of the topic.
And I don't even know really how I got signed
up to lead this talk, but it's on my agenda
or my itinerary. Uh, you know, doing a sunrise walk
(01:13):
line dancing.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Wait walk on the cruise boat.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Don't know yet, Okay, don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I have TVD.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I don't know if we're like walking the deck or
like if we've dogged somewhere, then we do that.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So I decided the title of my.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Talk dun dun dum.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
More whimsy, less worry cue, you know, and I like that.
There's whimsy and worry.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah, are you gonna little walk some.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Garlic alliteration there? Well, I am doing a pizza class,
a pizza making class, so maybe.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You're participating or you hosting it.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm there, make a pizza with Amy or something like that.
I'm not like the cook or the schef, like I've
never known you to make a pizza. I'm going to
be doing a pizza making class, so perhaps I will
be able to undress the garlic, take its coat off,
take its coat off.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You made it a little more dirty.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, get a little cozy, comfy, kick your shoes off,
stay awhile. So I just thought of that. So it
got me excited that now I have a title, and
then I'll know where to go and like what my
theme is going to be, because I think with all
the craziness in the world, the whimsy needs to come
from all of us, and if collectively, collectively like I
(02:29):
just glitched. Collectively, if we all contribute more whimsy, then
there will just be more whimsy. And and you were.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Going to say, then the everybody needs to be arrested
from the Epstein files.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
No, that's probably not gonna happen. But I think that
the easier it will be to create more whimsy. Yeah,
because there'll be so much more minium from everybody's whimsy
that the whimsy is just gonna flow. Because sometimes people
are like, I don't know, I just can't tap into
my whimsy. It's just too much. But then take some
of mind, like if we just get it going, like
(03:10):
let's and and and and less worry would be Like,
there's also a lot of worry about things that are
very much out of our control. So we say a
lot on here, wait to worry. Obviously, you need to
worry when necessary. But if you could wait to worry anyway,
more whimsy, less worry.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I like it. That's my So you have to come
up with that all by yourself. It could be whatever
you did, well, it meant like they're not giving you
like we want you to do this. They're like, you
can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I guess I almost I replied back to the Well
I thought about I replied back to the email just
with that title. But before I gave the title, I
was gonna reply back with, well, do you have any
direction or what would y'all like or what are the
parameters or can y'all give me? And then I was like, no,
it sounds like that they just want me to take
control of this, and yeah, I personally need more whimsy
(04:01):
less worry in my life, so yeah, why not. It's
one of those things where like as I'm talking, like
I'm gonna be talking to myself. Yeah, so the talk
that I'm leading isn't me talking at anybody, it's talking
with Yeah, which is the best. Two wants to go
on a cruise and get talked at?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I guess if it's you and they're like a fan,
I'd be talked at by the people that I look
up to.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Maybe. So why are you excited? Well?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I just added that in because I have another feeling.
But I'm excited because I learned today that Paradise season
two is back. Oh yeah, And I was worried that
was going to be a show that was just a
one and done because it was so good, so good
one of my favorite shows, except there was one episode.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Don't spoil it.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I'm not going to.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, sorry, you is coming for I'm projecting. I'm projecting
because I spoil things on the Bobby and show often
over the years. I just it's I it's almost like
become one of my things, like I'm known for, not
proud of it, but so that Yeah, I'm projecting on you, like, oh, no,
I think she's about to spoil and you're not.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'm not gonna have to. No, I won't spoil because
the show is so good. If you haven't seen it,
I don't want you to know anything about it. But
I was just gonna say there was one episode that
gave me so much anxiety. I couldn't even watch it.
I had to listen to it. It was playing on
the TV. Patrick, I'm not kidding. It was playing on
the TV. Patrick was watching it, and then I was
(05:32):
doing art on my kitchen table just listening to it,
and every so often I'd be like, what's what happened?
Because I couldn't watch it. I that show. I guess
it's the acting. I don't know. Sterling K. Brown is
like so amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Also, James Marsen is so hard.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Forgot he was in it. Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
He's fifty. He might even be at this point fifty
balls crazy. He doesn't he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Look he does not look like that.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
But also talk about underrated, haughty. He doesn't get talked
about as much as like, really you know it Brad
Pitt over the years or something, which he's probably fit.
I'm talking about other men his age. Who else is
in their fifties and exactly that's my point.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, I can't he's I know, he's in other stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Jerry Duty.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Oh yeah, I didn't watch that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Okay, he was in that though, but I mean his
career certainly began well before that, so I don't know exactly.
But that's my point, is like, is that James Marsin's
not I don't know why. I mean, maybe for some
people he's always fens the top of the list, but
what I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Underrated, hatty some people he's always been underrated.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Maybe maybe maybe it's just me, maybe I'm late to
the party. But he is very Yeah, it sounds like
very attractive, I do.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I think. Okay, Well that's I'm excited because of that
because it comes back out on so every yeah, every month.
This was really hard for me to understand. So just
bear with me. Comes out Mondays at twelve am, which
means it comes out Sunday night, but you'd have to
stay up right.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
So it's like the Hulu's Love Story every week Thursday
at eleven pm, so really it's out so it's really
midnight Eastern time, same thing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Okay, so you could watch it Mondays and they're doing
they reach a week. They released the first three. This
is what I do like when they do this. They
give you three episodes to start with and then they
do week to week. Okay, but I'm pumped.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I am also pumped. And now I'll have two shows
that are releasing weekly to look forward to. So I've
got Love Story and Paradise.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
And you're gonna watch Love is Blind Season ten?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
No, I'm probably not, although I know that that's a
hot topic. Like after we talked about Love Is Blind,
it was all that's all my Thankfully, my algorith of
them was giving me some of that so I could
take a break from some of the heavier stuff in
the world. And I was like, oh man, cow was
onto something with that.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
So you have a different perspective. So last week we
talked about this, you have a different perspective now that
you've seen it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I totally get it now, Like this guy, what
in the world? Who does he think he is? Did
you see that his ex girlfriend was like playing a
voicemail that he left her?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
No, and he's.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
About how he spent like nine hundred dollars on dinner
and first of all, why and what? I don't know.
Apparently he's in a lot of debt. Well, and he's short.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Which is if he was a good person in short.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Saying anything about this, it's just that he was so
rude to her anyway, me not even reading me. We'll
move on. I have a little game you get to pick. Okay,
we're going to talk about both, but it's which one
are we going to do first? Okay, do you want
four ways you're accidentally training people to disrespect you or
(09:08):
the five levels of listening? Which one do you want first? MM?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Is this the game?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, it's really just pick which one we're going to
talk about first.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
We can do the first one kind of waiting for
you to one of them be a game.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Now, neither one is like a game. It's just Okay,
it's like pick your topic.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Okay, the first one.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Okay, we're just going to order. That's the one I
have first, anyway, So thank you, and and I'm curious
your take on it as a therapist, Like, okay, at
the how we train people to treat us. You know
some quotes I love like that. This makes me think
of as like, yeah, you train people how to treat you.
And then also the other one just escaped me. Oh shoot, no,
(10:02):
come on.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
No, it was right there.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Okay, the quote, the quote that I wanted to remember if.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
It was what other people think about you is none
of your business.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Not that. No, now I'm even more okay, okay, okay,
train you train people how to treat you.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
And then how my availability, my free time is not
your availability. No, I'm just thinking of saying.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
My treat treat you, treat me how you treat me.
I treat myself others as though you would like to
be treated love your neighbor. No, okay, it'll come to me,
it'll come to me. But these are ways we're accidentally
training people to disrespect. That's okay, And again, give us
your thoughts as a therapist. Okay, because we train people
(10:50):
how to treat Oh, I was seeing if I said
that line again, because that's where I lost it when
I said, I'm curious your thoughts. Is a therapist? Okay,
it'll come back to me. The first way is the
availability trap. You drop everything for people, you know, like
you're the one they call. They need you to drop them.
You're teaching them my time has no value, So you
(11:13):
could try this instead. I can help you with this
on Thursday after two pm.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yeah. I like that, like you get something that works
for you. I do think that is a training people
how to treat you thing.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I do think that though, if someone is dropping stuff,
well when necessary. Obviously this was if it's like someone
has a flat tire.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Sorry, I'm watching Love Is Blind.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah I can go Thursday after Okay, so obviously within reason.
But I do think why some people drop things is
they think they're being helpful and they are, but they
think they don't.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah. Also, I think people there are people that need
to be needed, and so that's like they get a
high off of that, like, oh you need me, I'll
be there. But then that ends up backfiring because you
become so run down you don't take time for yourself.
You're always fulfilling others, and then people end up not
be doing that same thing for you and you can
become resentful.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah it's a big old trap trap.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, but yeah, fine line, you help people.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yes, but you can have boundaries surrounded within reason. Okay.
The second way is the permission slip. You laugh off
their disrespectful comments.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
So what you're thinking and doing that is like, oh,
I just I don't want to be dramatic. I want
to keep things drama free. What you're teaching someone when
you do that over and over is that disrespect is
acceptable and even entertaining.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Oh yeah, this one's hard because I feel like a
lot of women do that because we've been taught that,
like people will just disrespect us and people will talk
like that. I think this happens more with women than
with men. So you can feel like self preservation because
if I say something, is there going to be some
kind of punishment or consequence for me sticking up for myself,
(13:09):
especially in the workplace.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
They're like, what's the backlash?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah so but yeah that's tough. But also what I
try to mind myself is because oftentimes I would laugh
something off because I don't want to make them uncomfortable,
especially if I feel like I'm not sure if they
meant to be rude or not. But then I'm like,
wait a second, I'm uncomfortable, So why am I swallowing
the discomfort? Like they're allowed to be uncomfortable too.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, And one way to handle that is just that's
not funny and then move on instead of laughing at it,
but like you don't have to make it dramatic and
this whole thing of like why do you think that's funny?
Like don't just like a statement of like, oh that's
not funny, yeah, and move on.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, there was there was some list at some point
you read. I honestly don't know what it was for,
but I liked one of the statements where it was like, well,
that's a weird comment to make, like just being like.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, uh it really is odd. Yeah, that one will
really throw people off.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
It's odd thing to say out loud.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Like oh yeah, interesting thing to.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Say hell loud?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay, awkward. The third way is the approval seeker, So
you explain yourself when you do not need to.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, I do that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, I explain a lot, over, explain over, explain you've
helped me a lot with over explaining.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oh my gosh, if we could, I wish we could
show like a case study of your progress.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
So you've noticed.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Well, I just remember back in the day working on
some things with you, like texts you would send people
or stuff like that, and I'd be like, this is
too much information. And now I feel like you've become
good at I think it's because you have your scripts now.
Sometimes I love a script. Yeah, but I just remember
you used to give so much information. I think you
(14:59):
wanted people understand you, but sometimes people aren't. They're not.
They're just going to choose to not understand you. So
this doesn't matter. It clear as kind is something I
think you've adopted to.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
What we think when we do this is I'm being
polite and considerate in giving all the details. And what
you're teaching people when you do that is my decisions
need their approval to be valid. When really a simple
response could be that doesn't work for me, full stop.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Would you send a message like that.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yes, I have done it in my relationship. That doesn't
work for me. You know that I tell you that
exact line. This doesn't work for me. I think is
how I said it.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Do you relate to the part that says I'm being
polite and considerate or I think that's.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
In general why a lot of people do it. But
I'm doing it to make sure that they don't think
negatively of me, or that they understand the full picture
so they don't it doesn't reflect poorly on me because
I feel like the more information I give will be helpful.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I also feel like there might be a part of
that doesn't want to come off as me, and you
want them to understand that, like, yeah, they think positive.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah, I think we're saying the same thing, right, yes?
Or does this not work for you?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Well? I think it's both them not taking it personally
is also going to help them think positively of you. Yes, exactly. Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
The fourth way the enabler. Are you any of these
by the way, or are you just so helpful?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I do the laugh at disrespectful comments. That's when I
struggle with that. I'm I'm to the actively working on
I definitely don't fall on the availability.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
You're not, Oh you need something? Do you even offer
Thursday at two pm?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
No? I will offer a time, but I don't think
i'm anybody when I think of my friends, I don't
think any of them think of me as the person that,
like the.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Go to callcat, she's always available.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I'm not, yeah, not to. They'll come to me for
like support or advice or questions, but they're okay if
something happened. I'm paying myself as a bad friend. If
something happened, people know that I'll be there, but I'm
not always available.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Sounds like you're being an approval seecret at the moment.
You don't need to overexplain. We know who you are too,
sm just kidding the enabler. You give second chances to everyone,
and what you think is, well, everybody makes mistakes and
or something that just came to mind for this one.
A lot is like their childhood or what is that called?
(17:48):
Like a excuse like you if you excuse their trauma,
like you feel bad because their behavior is a result
of something that they went through. But it's got a
word like apologist. I mean, I can't even think of
the quote I wanted to say earlier that I thought
was so good, So don't ask my brain right now.
But you know, like a never mind, you're a defense,
(18:11):
a pulse justify you justify you. I feel like there
is an exact thing. Maybe it'll come to me.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Maybe not.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
What you're teaching them when you enable that way is
actions don't have consequences. And what you could try instead
is I've already addressed this with you moving forward dot
dot dot.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Fill in the blank. I think I used to do this,
especially with men. I would excuse them, But I think
that was more because I'd like, I wanted to squeeze
the lemon of out of a relationship when it was
really over.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah, that one last job.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, Kat.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Maybe the other day because we were talking about just
breakups in general, like in life, and Kat was like,
I don't I don't know, like I've never been the
one to break up, like I've only been broken up
with and do you want to it it's true? Are you
gonna admit what you say that you do now as
a married woman. Yeah, it's funny, Okay, it made me laugh.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So I've never I mean, I've ended something with somebody
that was like a fling, but not like a serious
I've never had to break up with somebody that I
think somebody like cried over me, you know, whereas I've
been broken up with multiple times and I felt that
like sadness whatever, So sometimes and I would do it.
I mean sometimes I still think about it, but I
(19:31):
would do it more. When we were in dating. I
would just picture what it would be like to break
up with Patrick, just to see his reaction, to see
what he would do and how he would feel. Because
I think this comes from like I want people to
like long for me the way that I have longed
for other people. And so I'm like, I want somebod
to be heartbroken over losing me. But then guys, I
(19:55):
would never do it. Yeah, would just have thought about it.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
We just think about breaking up with them, so you
can see how sad he'd be.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, and like would he cry? And when he, like,
I try to hang out with his friends. You would
go to the bar and he would just cry, So
do you have to go home? And then his friends
would be like, Patrick, come on out, there's girls here,
and he'd be like, I don't want to see any
other girls. I love Cat And then he'd like call
me every night, beg for me to go back.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah, you just thought about it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Just once or twice. Hear me when I say I
would never.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, and after you said that, You're like, also, this
isn't healthy. I was like, I'm crazy, But I love
that you admit that sort of stuff, and it's it.
I feel like it's a thought.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
That's the kind of daydreams I have.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yeah, and I don't know that i've I mean, I
had two serious boyfriends before I got married, and I'm
pretty sure they both. I mean, one ended because it
needed to end. But I think I probably would have
stayed with him. I would have been an enabler. He
did a lot of like not great things. But I
(20:59):
was like, oh, that's just a mistake that you helped
up with your ex girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I know you feel bad.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And I came to your house to pick up my
cell phone because I forgot it and I caught y'all,
mm hmm, just a mistake.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
When did you stay with them?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Well, I'm pretty sure we kind of broke up that night.
And then that's when I drank too many white Russians
and I cannot to this day, to this day, I
cannot have a sip of a white Russian.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Where were you going? Where you were ordering a white Russian?
Where were you going where you were ordering a white Russian?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Ptarmigan The Ptarmigans. We would call it Petar.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
It's a bar frozen drink.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Brian College Station. Across from Carnies it's the twenty one
and up bar. So there's two bars in Brian College
Station area, Texas A and M, and they were I
have no idea. I'm sure they're still there, but these
were very popular when I was there. And one was
eighteen and up. That was Carnie's and across the street
was Ptarmigan and it was twenty one and up. And
(22:08):
I must have been twenty one. That's the only reason why.
Note well, I mean, it's not like I didn't get
in sometimes before I officially turned twenty one. But I'm
pretty sure at the time that this relationship ended, or
when this would have happened, I would have been twenty
one at Ptarmigan having white Russians and I got so sick.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Was that your drink of choice?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It was that night, Okay, I'll have a white Russian
I mean, and I was like crying.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It was like, not good, I'll take another.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I don't recall that ever really being my drink of choice.
To answer your question, I just know that night I
must have really wanted to turn into story I went
on and they taste like milkshakees, so it gets out
of controls. I don't know, I would have to. Okay,
So a classic white Russian cocktail requires, according to Shannon,
(22:58):
three main ingredients vodka, coffee, and liqueur like khalua and
cream heavy cream half in half or like whole milk
served over ice in an old fashioned glass.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Okay, so that is So what's a bushwhacker? It's like
the same thing bushwacker. I don't think is coffee. I
think it's it's like chocolatey, but it might be. I
actually don't know what's in a bushwacker, but they're they're frozen.
They're actually like milkshakes, but they're like more icy than Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
But okay, well this girl, uh, I enabled his behavior
behavior a little bit then. I'm sure I think we
dated a little bit more after that at some point.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Is that egg boyfriend egg you cried up the eggs?
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh? No, that was that was the one after him? Okay,
and uh, he definitely broke off with me. There is
no confusion on who ended it. The thing about the
one before, Actually, I think meeting him is what helped
me not go back to the other do you know
what I mean? Like the enabler. I probably would have
gone back to multiple times because I always did, and
(24:04):
he was the way that he was a ladies man,
if you will. There was one time, if I ever
told you a story, where I was we were in college,
but I was we were back in Austin. I was
home visiting for the weekend. He was from Austin too,
but he was in our driveway and just had left,
and we cell phones and house phones still coexisted together.
(24:28):
This isn't like cell phone time. So he called the
landline and said is I won't say her name now.
I think I used to tell this story and say
her name, but that feels weird now that I've matured.
But he was like, let's say it was Catherine. Is
Catherine there? And I was like what You're what?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
This is? Amy?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Like, you're in my driveway. But Catherine was another one
of his ex girlfriends. And my mom just looked at
me and she was like, Amy, you know what he's doing.
He's literally leaving here and calling her because he's going
to meet up with her. He's going over to her house,
Like that's what he's doing. And I was with him no,
(25:11):
because he had some excuse. Oh but like his I
could see his tail lights in my driveway. He hadn't
even fully left, and from his car was calling what
he thought was her landline. Because it's not like he
probably didn't have those numbers saved and he probably just
went to like the recent you know what I mean.
So anyway, same guy. So the girl that when I've
(25:34):
left my cell phone his house in college station now
that we're back in college, that was a different ex girlfriend,
and so who knows. He just was a mess. But
then I met the other guy, and then that helped
me not go back to him. And then I acted
like a psycho and he made me eggs one day
(25:54):
and I was like, you know, I don't eat that, y'all.
I was like crazy person.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, oh my god, you we're doing the best you could.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
At the time, my disordered eating was so out of control.
It was almost like do you not even know me?
I can't have the yolk?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
But also that was what two thousand and two, like
what did we where? Was were we eating yolk then?
Or was I just not eating yolk? Because you know,
we've had a love relationship with the yolk.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I just can't get past the way you say it.
You no, I was gonna say that, and you kept
saying that, say it your way, yoke, yoke yo, I
don't say it a British accent. Well that's how when
you say yolk, it kind of sounds gross.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Well that doesn't work for me. That's not funny. We
try all the ways, Like I feel disrespected right now,
and I'm like, I'm I'm never helping you. I've already
addressed this with you. Those are all the things, Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I think it was just the amount of times you
said it. You just said it once, Okay, fine, yoke, Okay,
you can say it however you want. It was just
you said it like six times. Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
There's things I can't say. Yolk, dwear, crown, these those
are three words I'm never gonna say. However wants me
to say them? No, I say almen, Oh, I only
say okay, fine, okay, four words poem, poem, poem, those
are words I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
So I have four words that I struggle with. You're right, poem, drawer, crown, yolk,
And why do I say it? Why do I not
say it? Correctly.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
You're asking me, well, I don't know. I don't know,
but either, but I think it's okay for you to
say them that way. I'm good to work on not
calling it okay. I don't care if you call it out.
Everybody calls it out.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I was talking about these color sticks crayons.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I grew up saying crown too. Like I think a
lot of people say, what is it? What's there spelled crayon?
But they are crowns.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
So what am I saying wrong?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Why? Why did we ever start saying crowns?
Speaker 1 (28:23):
They are crowns, crowns.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
You'd kind of say a mixture of crayon and crown
crown crayon. But I don't know why. It was crayon
hard for people to say as a kid. So we
just all started saying crown. Okay, that's it, and then
you just get used to it. I say begel instead
of bagel.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, you should not be talking begelgel a begel.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Begel.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Do you say grocery do you say, like, Shannon's in here,
So I'll say use as an example, like she'll say
I'm going to the grocery.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I say grocery store.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, some people just say grocery.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah. I think that's like a where you grew up
because also my friend that is from Boston says she's
going food shopping, food shopping stead of grocery shopping. Okay.
Shannon used to say that where did you grow up? Okay,
so Philly. So I think in the northern part they
say food shopping instead of grocery shopping. Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
So because I always grew up saying we're gonna go
to the store or the grocery store, and then some
people just leave it as oh, I'm headed to the grocery,
and then I'm always well, that's what it's to them,
that's the store.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, I'm going to the grocery like I'm going to
the mall.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Right, okay, yeah, Well, speaking of words and listening and
hearing and talking, yeah, we can move on to the
next category, the second part of the gate class. Did
you know there are five levels listening?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
This is gonna be a little test. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
You and I both are like the number one The
number one type of listening were the wait to talk?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Well, can I give a yat?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I feel like in my personal life I listened differently
than my professional life. Oh, yeah, for sure, because I
don't want anybody to listen to this and be like, oh,
she's probably terrible what or job?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Oh no, I think that you can definitely prioritize.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah, but like when I'm not working, I'm like, oh,
I just want to be myself absolutely.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
And also, yeah, your primary job when you're listening, because
the number one thing is waiting to talk. Like when
you're a therapist, you are listening most of the time.
You can't be like waiting to Like I'm trying to
imagine if I went to a therapist and then they
talked the entire time.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
I feel like, especially if you had stuff to say.
Some clients like it, oh to say no no, no, no, no no.
I wouldn't know. I'm saying, like, if you had stuff
to say that would really bother you, which it would
bother me too. There are some clients that like don't
speak much, so you help like facilitate them to come out. Yeah,
(31:07):
you like to.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Prompt massage the converse.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Okay, waiting to talk. You're quiet, but only because you're
thinking about what you'll say next, and I'm itching to
do it.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, I do that a lot.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Waiting to talk, waiting to talk, waiting to talk. It's
called also called self focused.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Oh I don't.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
That doesn't sound very good.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
I just one of the reasons I do that is
I get really excited. And also we've talked about this,
we forget, which clearly you can see how easily you
forget things that you want to say. I forget stuff.
If I don't say it, sometimes that means it wasn't
that important. It might not need to be said.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Don't worry this entire conversation. I've been trying to think
of that quote in the back of my mind, and
I'm like, stay focused, stay focused, but think of the quote.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
What is the quote?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Can't think of the quotes? Still haven't thought of it.
My goal is to think of it by the end
of the episode. But also if I don't, it just
wasn't that important. Yeah, and it meant to me, but
it feels so good to think of it.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
You still probably have a little bit of time.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
You can be hearing the words, So this is a
distracted listener. You catch parts of the conversation, but your
attention drifts.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I don't think I relate to that unless I do
sometimes well, unless I'm really preoccupied with something going on. Yeah,
like I don't know that would be right now, But well.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
I can give you an example, like when I'm at
the grocery store, because I've done this with you before.
If I'm at the grocery store and I'm on the
phone and you're talking and I'm also actively at the
grocery when i'm food chopping jopping, and I'm on the
phone with somebody and they're talking and I'm looking for
something and I'm trying to and I have I'm over simulated.
I will be like, oh, shoot, like I just missed
(32:55):
a part and I need to like admit.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Like do you admit it or do you just like
act like you know.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Well, I'll try to, I feel like, try to survive.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
But sometimes you're just like yeah, and I'm like to.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Cheat you maybe, which I feel we all know that yeah, yeah,
You'll never know maybe it was a yeah, or maybe
it was a yeah. I really hope I can pick
up on what she's saying, but it wasn't intentional and
I care about what you're saying. I know there's been
a time where I've like I had to say like
I'm sorry. I don't remember what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Grocery shopping and having a serious conversation. It's really hard.
I can't even I used to try to well, let's look,
call it audio books while I grocery shop, and I
would not end up hearing what was said because I'm
so focused on finding my broccoli. You know. So that's tough. Yeah,
so be easy on yourself.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
There's the understanding the message type of listener. This is
the focus This is who you want to be. This
is who you want to be to all you focusers
out there.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
You're tuned in.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
You hear not just the words, but what they mean.
You're listening to understand, not reply. How to be this
person who just listens, no reply?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
But what if you want to reply? Like, what if
I want you to reply to me? You wait?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I imagine that you wait as a listener, and then
you say, probably the question we've talked about even a
listener remind us about it of do you want me
to just listen or do you want me to give
my thoughts?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Do you want my feedback?
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah? Okay. Next up is the listener that recognizes emotions.
This is the empathetic person.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Feels like they're getting better as we go.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You go deeper, you sense their emotional state and recognize
how they feel, not just what they say.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Yeah, okay, I just have to say this. I think
you do and myself in this category. We do all
of these. It's not like you always are the waiting
to talk.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
It just is that's true, and I can be I
can feel, you know. What I really feel the most
is the sort of unrelated but like Stevenson and I
were watching like funniest home videos the other day, and
I have a really hard time watching the videos where
people fall or hit their groin area or like they slide,
(35:30):
like I don't. Stevenson's like dying laughing, and he's like, oh,
and I am uncomfortable. I don't like it. I feel
it in my body, like my body feels it painful.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
I do love a slipping video. There's some funny videos
of people familis. I don't like when people are embarrassed.
I I do not find that funny and I get
very uncomfortable. I don't want to embarrass somebody else, and
if somebody else feels embarrassed, I want to rescue them.
But I can watch somebody fall, unless it's like they
(36:03):
broke a bone, then that's like oh.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, But a lot of times when it's submitted to
the America's funny at some videos, like it's not a
tragic event, it's they're even laughing. But my body feels
it like I I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Okay, your feelings, emotions, you're connected.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
And then finally someone who hears what's unsaid, so they
are fully present, like you can pick up up up
on the deeper meaning, like the things that someone might
be struggling to express what they need you to hear,
so you.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Know the unset.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, I don't know that I have that gift I
need more like so tell me you know, Yeah, I'm
not a mind reader.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah, I don't know that anybody is fully this picking
up a Yeah we can pick up on the deeper meaning,
but like, yeah, we're not. That's I can't read people's minds.
And I listen to people for a living mm hmm,
because when you assume things, often then we're just planting
that in their head and we don't know if that's
really actually what they need or not.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
You know what assuming does.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
It makes a bad word of you and me.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So do you think that falls into the category a
bad word?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
According to the FCC, Shannon, look that up. I mean
if podcasting you can cuss, not that we were not
a podcast, that CUSSS is. But FCC for the federal
the regulate. They regulate what's allowed on airwaves like the
radio and TV, but podcasting doesn't have the same regulations.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
But that's like, would you want your six year old
saying that word?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
No? But I don't. I do think I on radio
and TV, we might be able to say.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Oh, I just don't like that word. The word oh really, Yeah,
I say other curse words, willy nilly, I just don't
really like that one. And how I know that you
don't like when I say pisses me off? You don't
like that I don't like that word?
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Okay, okay. According to the FCC's website, Federal Communications Commission,
to be exact, they do consider that word.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
You can say it a SS.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Like we're children, a vulgar, indecent or profane term that
is inappropriate for broadcasts between six am.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
And ten pm.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
So ten oh one pm, let it rip. But what
is that saying? For real? I'm trying to think of
it because I can't. My brain doesn't know. You know
what assumptions we know what assuming does makes it.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
As out of me, you and me, you and me.
It's like how you.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Fellow you and me because assume.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Yeah, that's how excited me to throw you off.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
No, I get it now, I know the saying, but
I also call you that quote. I just almost want
to sit here are you until I think of the quote,
like you train people how to treat you? That's where
And then I had another quote that's similar. What did
we just sit here till I figure it out?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Let's just like, let me just sit here. Let's just
let's just say some quotes. I can tell you a
story of when I act I was broken up with.
I mean, I broke up with somebody once. Okay, I
(39:37):
can tell you a story of when I act I
was broken up with. I mean, I broke up with
somebody once. Okay. It came to me earlier and I
didn't think it was important, but now it feels important.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Okay, I'm gonna be listening as much as I can
while I also try to think of the quote.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Okay, well, my active So this was in fifth grade.
It was my first boyfriend. He was so cute and
he asked me I it was girl friend. And then
we didn't talk because you know, when you're in fifth
grade and you have a boyfriend, then you get scared
of them. And then so I had my friend break
up with him because I wasn't talking to him obviously,
(40:11):
and he was really upset, and he sent me an
email that night. Well, first he called me and asked
me to get on AIM so we could talk. So
we couldn't talked on the phone, and I said no.
So then he sent me an email and he said
that the only two things he wants out of life
are for me to go back out with him again
and to go to heaven.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Oh so did you?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I think I just was so anxious about having a
boyfriend because then I wouldn't speak to I got nervous
when I would see him. But like before we were friends.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Where is he now?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Oh he's like a professional baseball coach? Shut up?
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, dang, you kind of said that with.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I mean, I'm the happy So it's fine you're dating
or you're married. I've been married for a couple of
years now. I don't think as because we continue to
go to school together. I don't think as we both
grew into the people that we.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Are, we it wouldn't have worked.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
No, I mean there's nothing. I don't there's nothing wrong
with him.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
I I feel like baseball players are a unique breed.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Fact, yeah, there's just something they doubt. I don't know.
I mean not fifth grade, but since he went up
to be a professional baseball coach, I assume he played
and like not in college. I think high school college, Like,
I don't know, they just I can't speak to the
ones now, but in my day growing up, they all
(41:37):
had the same esthetic and vibey and dairy nurses and
you know those little hemp necklaces.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
The titanium. For a while they were who were wearing
like titanium necklaces.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah, they just have a vibe.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Yeah, And I think about this now. Baseball would be
like if I had to marry an athlete, Like what
what athlete would you marry? Because baseball, I feel like,
would be hard.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
There's so many games.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Yeah, Like I would want the shortest season that makes
the most money, that has the smallest risk of energy.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Okay, injury, tennis injury or golf, golf, They're gone a lot.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yeah, but they're not going to really get that hurt.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
But like, if you had to watch them, don't you
think like a tennis match.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Would be Yeah, tennis would be cool a little more fun,
and I think golf was also. I would get really
anxious because you never like people are more consistent in
tennis than Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
I think I kick either, though I'm choosing tennis.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
I'd rather have tennis because then they could teach me.
I'm more interested in also playing tennis with my husband
than playing golf.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Yeah, when you said the that your fifth grade boyfriend
was like, there's only two things I want in life,
it made me think of something unrelatedship, but two things
like too, not the quote. Not the quote, not the
quote another quote. Okay, this is from this is an
unknown I think. Okay, if I don't know, I don't
(43:09):
think there's a person for me to credit. But it's
that quote of there's only two people you should be
living for, and it's your eight year old self and
your eighty year old self. Ooh, and if you can
make both those two people happy, then you're doing good.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Then most likely your present self will also be. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
So like that's who you should refer to, like when
you're thinking through like what you what would eight year
old me think of this? Or is eighty year old
me gonna think this is the right thing to do?
Like eighty year old me is thinking a lot about
alcohol lately in white Russians. No, just like not drinking alcohol.
Eight year old me is I.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Hope what I'm eighty, I'm still having to margarita every
now and then.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, that would be great in all I guess I'm
just like I yes, I just think my algorithm right
now is showing me toxic things and maybe I need
to get off that and just live in la la
land and be like, oh, alcohol is totally fine in moderation. Yeah,
they say that, But then those that are adamantly against it,
(44:16):
they and they're doctors and they're building a case and
they're like, there's no way to spend this. People like
to do these studies and tell you, oh, well, this
could be good for your heart and a glass of
wine a day, and they're like no, no. But then
you hear people that live until they're a hundred, and
it's like, what's your secret? And they're like, bacon and beer.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Right, and so in Italy they drink water, I mean
wine like. It's water like, and they're it's relatively healthy.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Their food and wine, I think is very different than America.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Drink wine from Italy when I'm eighty.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Well, there you go, that's true.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I think your lifestyle probably has more to do with it.
I don't want to fear monger people into you're not
about it.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
I guess I'm just I'm not. I still am drinking.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
A lot.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Prove it, right, Oh I still drink, Yeah, I will
right now.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Just not just not a white Russian ever ever, ever again?
Crazy to think, like I've not had a white I
don't know exactly what why that was? Well, because it's
just like that's a very definitive moment of a time
where I remember having something and then never again.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Well maybe you got sick off of it and then
you can never I.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
Did, and I don't. Also, just the memories from that
night are so bad. Yeah, everything about that was so bad.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Where did you wake up so bad?
Speaker 1 (45:41):
I'm telling you it's somehow okay, everything so bad, Like
I'm not ever having okay, a white Russian again, But yeah,
I don't. You're right, I don't want to fear monger either.
I guess it's just when I think of eight year
old like I went to a stretch class for the
first time ever, like like a week ago at like,
(46:03):
oh oh where they stretch you.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, I've been wanting to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
For an hour and I ended up getting a little
three month membership because I want to stretch on my
own and I know that I'm capable. But this is
sort of like my kickstart, Like they're going to like
kickstart me, and I'm doing that for eight year old me.
Eight year old me, you're probably be like, why are
you sending money on that? This is silly, But eight
(46:28):
year old me is like, thank you.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, did it hurt? Because I've been wanting to know. Okay,
you're probably more flexible than me, though.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
I'm actually not that flexible. I'm pretty it's pretty bad. Okay,
my hand strings are so tight. And I learned too
that my achilles, who knew are so tight. They have
this video like camera that will take video of you
squatting and you're kind of mimicking this cartoon person and
then it looks like how you're like your range of
(46:57):
motion and she was like oh, oh, what's going on
with your ankles? Like, I don't know, I've never really
thought about it. But my when she was stretching my
calves my achilles in my feet, like I was like,
oh my gosh, this is so painful. And she's like, yeah,
I think this is what was being picked up on
the screen when you were doing the squats. But I
just never pay attention to that part of my body,
(47:19):
so I didn't know that it was a little needed
a little attention.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Yeah, I'm al shared to see what they say about me.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yeah, so I'll say they give you a range of
like if you feel one to ten, and they're like,
we want you to feel like, we don't want you
to feel a ten, Like if it's anything pain, yeah, Like,
don't speak up, because that's not the goal is to
be in pain and power through. It's to be still
comfortable but like making and then you like push against
(47:48):
them and then release and that'll hopefully allow you to
push a little bit further. So you have to be active,
Like I kind of thought like sometimes when she kept
asking me to push, I'm.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Like, you're supposed to stretch me.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
This is where I just want to lay here and
you do it. But it did feel really good. I
enjoyed it so much so that I'm letting you know,
like I got I'll let you know after the three
months how I feel.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I love that you just did three months and you
didn't sign up for a whole year.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Oh why would I do that? You signed up for
the whole year of Well, yeah, that was a really
good deal. Yeah, that was a really good deal. Best decision.
And so far the amounts of classes that I've done,
if you divide it by the amounts of months, have.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Been going like saving money?
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Yeah, yeah, making money?
Speaker 2 (48:31):
That is girl mad.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
You're making money by making money?
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Yeah? Okay, Well maybe you've motivated me to go do
something like that.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Or I could show you some of the stretches.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
I'm not. This is my thing. I'm not going to
do them. I have stretches that I should be doing
right now that a physical therapist has given me. I'm
not going to do them unless I did then when
I went to the physical therapist. But I can't. You
know how you said that sometimes you'll lay on the
floor and say you're gonna stretch, but then you'll just
lay on the floor. I won't even get on the floor. Okay, yeah, all.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Right, Well after all that, I still don't know the quote.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Well you know it. Maybe you'll think of it over
the next week and we'll keep everybody on their toes
and then you'll have it to start the next episode out.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
If I think of it, I'm going to have to
call you or text you. So we have it in writing,
and I know what it is text because right now
I've romanticized it that it was like, oh, gonna be
such a good quote. It's me life changing to the episode.
People probably stopped listening after she.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Just know the quote. I don't want to listen.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Oh, it could have been so helpful. I just know it.
We TVD, but a quote that we do know that
it is very helpful. Before we say it, I do
want to give our email and our phone number. Do
you know the phone number.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
Two O seven two O seven two O seven seven. No,
that's close eight seven seven two O seven two O
seven seven. Yeah, okay, that was basically it.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
So you can call and leave us a voicemail eight
seven seven two A seven two A seven seven.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Sick sick, and then you can email us you can
feel things podcast.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Hey there, Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast. I created
the email I know, and then Kat also does our
newsletters too, which we have one going out next week
next week, Yeah, every other week. We don't spam you.
They're easy to digest. Oh, if I think of the quote,
we could throw.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
It in the email. Yes, yes, that's great, that's yes, totally.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
So many people are going to sign up now.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
They're like, we know, we know how to put clickbait
out there.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
You're gonna want to know the quote that I may
or may not come up with.
Speaker 2 (50:45):
It will change your life.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
It will change even though we don't know what it
is life. Let's end on this before I share our
ending quote that we say every episode. This also may
or may not be life changing for some people. But
do you ever sanitize your pillow that you sleep on
in anyway?
Speaker 2 (51:00):
I wash it?
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Not your pillow case, your pillow.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Oh oh no, yeah, you're just trying to find other ways.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
No, not that not she isn't you? No?
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Have you always sanitized?
Speaker 1 (51:14):
No? I'm telling you something. I saw a little tip,
a little tippy tip. Okay, and it makes sense. So
with the orphanage where my kids lived, anytime you like
once a week, they would rotate all the mattresses and
put them out in the sun, and they would just
lay there all day in the sun and then be
time to go to bed. They didn't have to really
make the beds because the kids just slept on pretty
much bear mattresses, so it wasn't that big of a
deal to move all the mattresses outside and then they
(51:37):
would let the sun sanitize it. So I saw similarly,
we should be every so often, maybe every couple of
weeks or once a month, whatever's doable for you, Like
throw your pillows outside in the sun and let the
sun sanitize them. I wonder what that does sanitize them well,
(51:58):
because there's all kinds of little like mites.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
I'm wondering what this like. I'm just wanting to know
the science of the sun sanitizing, like baking off the mites. Oh? Gross,
is she hand and put it in the dock?
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Oh we haven't in the dock. Well, let me look
it up.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
I close my dock.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
I did too, but it's okay, I know.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
My past word. It's zero zero zero zero zero. I
don't like that you said there's mites in my pillow.
Now I'm gonna be grossed out.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Oh well, I'm not trying to gross you out. Okay.
Placing pillows in sunlight once a week naturally sterilizes them
with UV rays. Research shows that ultraviolet radiation kills dust, mines, bacteria,
and mold. Bonus, they get, this gives you cleaner sleep
and clearer skin.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Crazy, Okay, that's easy. Oh.
Speaker 1 (52:49):
Shannon also put maybe some quotes in here that she
thinks might be the quote that I was trying to say. Okay,
we train people how to treat us. Okay, we talked
about that one. You you teach people how to treat
you by what you allow, what you stop, and what
you reinforce. It definitely was not that many words.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
What you reap is what you sew.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
No, it wasn't that people treat you the way you
allow them to treat you. Nope. The way you believe
about and treat yourself sets the standard for others on
how you demand to be treated.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Nope.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Dang.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
One day, you are what you eat.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Yeah, then I'm a thin mint right about. I'm not
not a white Russian anymore, because gosh, how many years
has that been.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
I'm an orange. I cannot stop eating oranges, right, now.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
You definitely are an orange and I'm a thin mint.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
I don't wait your What was the hack you had
the other day? You put the YAsO in the thin mint?
Is that you?
Speaker 1 (53:44):
Yes? I had, I'm out if I say had. I
had some yasso mint chocolate chip.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
Which is my favorite one.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
What are they break yogurt popsicles or ice cream pops
So it's a popsicle. So what I did was I
opened it up. I didn't even eat the whole pop
squall and kind of cut it in half and put
it in the freezer for next time. And then from
that I made I got thin mints, and I made
miniature little ice cream sandwiches thin mint with mint ice
cream in the middle.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
That was probably I don't even like thin mints. That
probably was really good.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Oh it was.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
I love mint ice cream.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
What does Deathanye Frankle say, davoon?
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Do you far? No? I not the biggest. No, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
I'm not. I don't know that I am either. But
she does say davoon.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
I don't know what that means, like divine, oh davo.
Is that like just her fun way of saying it,
or is that different language?
Speaker 1 (54:41):
Or is that like her Crown.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Plain. She thinks she's saying it right. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Okay, well, we hope wherever you are, you're having the day.
Speaker 2 (54:49):
You need to have. Bye bye
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
and Cat gotcha, Covi and locking No.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Brother, ladies and peons, do you just follow an the
spirit where it's all the front.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And real stuff to the chill stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you
can do it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
This is feeling things.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
With Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.
I'm Amy and I'm Kat and my feeling of the
day is excited.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
That's one of my feelings.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It is, Oh what they're definitely for two different reasons.
Because does yours have to do with leading a health
and wellness talk on a cruise?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Okay, So I'm in charge of a talk on our
cruise that we're doing the Bobby Bone shows on a
cruise And I got an email from people Are a company.
They're like, do you have like the theme of the topic.
And I don't even know really how I got signed
up to lead this talk, but it's on my agenda
or my itinerary. Uh, you know, doing a sunrise walk
(01:13):
line dancing.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Wait walk on the cruise boat.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Don't know yet, Okay, don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I have TVD.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I don't know if we're like walking the deck or
like if we've dogged somewhere, then we do that.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So I decided the title of my.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Talk dun dun dum.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
More whimsy, less worry cue, you know, and I like that.
There's whimsy and worry.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah, are you gonna little walk some.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Garlic alliteration there? Well, I am doing a pizza class,
a pizza making class, so maybe.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You're participating or you hosting it.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm there, make a pizza with Amy or something like that.
I'm not like the cook or the schef, like I've
never known you to make a pizza. I'm going to
be doing a pizza making class, so perhaps I will
be able to undress the garlic, take its coat off,
take its coat off.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You made it a little more dirty.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, get a little cozy, comfy, kick your shoes off,
stay awhile. So I just thought of that. So it
got me excited that now I have a title, and
then I'll know where to go and like what my
theme is going to be, because I think with all
the craziness in the world, the whimsy needs to come
from all of us, and if collectively, collectively like I
(02:29):
just glitched. Collectively, if we all contribute more whimsy, then
there will just be more whimsy. And and you were.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Going to say, then the everybody needs to be arrested
from the Epstein files.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
No, that's probably not gonna happen. But I think that
the easier it will be to create more whimsy. Yeah,
because there'll be so much more minium from everybody's whimsy
that the whimsy is just gonna flow. Because sometimes people
are like, I don't know, I just can't tap into
my whimsy. It's just too much. But then take some
of mind, like if we just get it going, like
(03:10):
let's and and and and less worry would be Like,
there's also a lot of worry about things that are
very much out of our control. So we say a
lot on here, wait to worry. Obviously, you need to
worry when necessary. But if you could wait to worry anyway,
more whimsy, less worry.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I like it. That's my So you have to come
up with that all by yourself. It could be whatever
you did, well, it meant like they're not giving you
like we want you to do this. They're like, you
can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I guess I almost I replied back to the Well
I thought about I replied back to the email just
with that title. But before I gave the title, I
was gonna reply back with, well, do you have any
direction or what would y'all like or what are the
parameters or can y'all give me? And then I was like, no,
it sounds like that they just want me to take
control of this, and yeah, I personally need more whimsy
(04:01):
less worry in my life, so yeah, why not. It's
one of those things where like as I'm talking, like
I'm gonna be talking to myself. Yeah, so the talk
that I'm leading isn't me talking at anybody, it's talking
with Yeah, which is the best. Two wants to go
on a cruise and get talked at?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I guess if it's you and they're like a fan,
I'd be talked at by the people that I look
up to.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Maybe. So why are you excited? Well?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I just added that in because I have another feeling.
But I'm excited because I learned today that Paradise season
two is back. Oh yeah, And I was worried that
was going to be a show that was just a
one and done because it was so good, so good
one of my favorite shows, except there was one episode.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Don't spoil it.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I'm not going to.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, sorry, you is coming for I'm projecting. I'm projecting
because I spoil things on the Bobby and show often
over the years. I just it's I it's almost like
become one of my things, like I'm known for, not
proud of it, but so that Yeah, I'm projecting on you, like, oh, no,
I think she's about to spoil and you're not.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'm not gonna have to. No, I won't spoil because
the show is so good. If you haven't seen it,
I don't want you to know anything about it. But
I was just gonna say there was one episode that
gave me so much anxiety. I couldn't even watch it.
I had to listen to it. It was playing on
the TV. Patrick, I'm not kidding. It was playing on
the TV. Patrick was watching it, and then I was
(05:32):
doing art on my kitchen table just listening to it,
and every so often I'd be like, what's what happened?
Because I couldn't watch it. I that show. I guess
it's the acting. I don't know. Sterling K. Brown is
like so amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Also, James Marsen is so hard.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Forgot he was in it. Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
He's fifty. He might even be at this point fifty
balls crazy. He doesn't he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Look he does not look like that.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
But also talk about underrated, haughty. He doesn't get talked
about as much as like, really you know it Brad
Pitt over the years or something, which he's probably fit.
I'm talking about other men his age. Who else is
in their fifties and exactly that's my point.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, I can't he's I know, he's in other stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Jerry Duty.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Oh yeah, I didn't watch that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Okay, he was in that though, but I mean his
career certainly began well before that, so I don't know exactly.
But that's my point, is like, is that James Marsin's
not I don't know why. I mean, maybe for some
people he's always fens the top of the list, but
what I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Underrated, hatty some people he's always been underrated.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Maybe maybe maybe it's just me, maybe I'm late to
the party. But he is very Yeah, it sounds like
very attractive, I do.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I think. Okay, Well that's I'm excited because of that
because it comes back out on so every yeah, every month.
This was really hard for me to understand. So just
bear with me. Comes out Mondays at twelve am, which
means it comes out Sunday night, but you'd have to
stay up right.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
So it's like the Hulu's Love Story every week Thursday
at eleven pm, so really it's out so it's really
midnight Eastern time, same thing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Okay, so you could watch it Mondays and they're doing
they reach a week. They released the first three. This
is what I do like when they do this. They
give you three episodes to start with and then they
do week to week. Okay, but I'm pumped.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I am also pumped. And now I'll have two shows
that are releasing weekly to look forward to. So I've
got Love Story and Paradise.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
And you're gonna watch Love is Blind Season ten?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
No, I'm probably not, although I know that that's a
hot topic. Like after we talked about Love Is Blind,
it was all that's all my Thankfully, my algorith of
them was giving me some of that so I could
take a break from some of the heavier stuff in
the world. And I was like, oh man, cow was
onto something with that.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
So you have a different perspective. So last week we
talked about this, you have a different perspective now that
you've seen it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I totally get it now, Like this guy, what
in the world? Who does he think he is? Did
you see that his ex girlfriend was like playing a
voicemail that he left her?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
No, and he's.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
About how he spent like nine hundred dollars on dinner
and first of all, why and what? I don't know.
Apparently he's in a lot of debt. Well, and he's short.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Which is if he was a good person in short.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Saying anything about this, it's just that he was so
rude to her anyway, me not even reading me. We'll
move on. I have a little game you get to pick. Okay,
we're going to talk about both, but it's which one
are we going to do first? Okay, do you want
four ways you're accidentally training people to disrespect you or
(09:08):
the five levels of listening? Which one do you want first? MM?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Is this the game?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, it's really just pick which one we're going to
talk about first.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
We can do the first one kind of waiting for
you to one of them be a game.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Now, neither one is like a game. It's just Okay,
it's like pick your topic.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Okay, the first one.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Okay, we're just going to order. That's the one I
have first, anyway, So thank you, and and I'm curious
your take on it as a therapist, Like, okay, at
the how we train people to treat us. You know
some quotes I love like that. This makes me think
of as like, yeah, you train people how to treat you.
And then also the other one just escaped me. Oh shoot, no,
(10:02):
come on.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
No, it was right there.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Okay, the quote, the quote that I wanted to remember if.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
It was what other people think about you is none
of your business.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Not that. No, now I'm even more okay, okay, okay,
train you train people how to treat you.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
And then how my availability, my free time is not
your availability. No, I'm just thinking of saying.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
My treat treat you, treat me how you treat me.
I treat myself others as though you would like to
be treated love your neighbor. No, okay, it'll come to me,
it'll come to me. But these are ways we're accidentally
training people to disrespect. That's okay, And again, give us
your thoughts as a therapist. Okay, because we train people
(10:50):
how to treat Oh, I was seeing if I said
that line again, because that's where I lost it when
I said, I'm curious your thoughts. Is a therapist? Okay,
it'll come back to me. The first way is the
availability trap. You drop everything for people, you know, like
you're the one they call. They need you to drop them.
You're teaching them my time has no value, So you
(11:13):
could try this instead. I can help you with this
on Thursday after two pm.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yeah. I like that, like you get something that works
for you. I do think that is a training people
how to treat you thing.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I do think that though, if someone is dropping stuff,
well when necessary. Obviously this was if it's like someone
has a flat tire.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Sorry, I'm watching Love Is Blind.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah I can go Thursday after Okay, so obviously within reason.
But I do think why some people drop things is
they think they're being helpful and they are, but they
think they don't.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah. Also, I think people there are people that need
to be needed, and so that's like they get a
high off of that, like, oh you need me, I'll
be there. But then that ends up backfiring because you
become so run down you don't take time for yourself.
You're always fulfilling others, and then people end up not
be doing that same thing for you and you can
become resentful.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah it's a big old trap trap.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, but yeah, fine line, you help people.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yes, but you can have boundaries surrounded within reason. Okay.
The second way is the permission slip. You laugh off
their disrespectful comments.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
So what you're thinking and doing that is like, oh,
I just I don't want to be dramatic. I want
to keep things drama free. What you're teaching someone when
you do that over and over is that disrespect is
acceptable and even entertaining.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Oh yeah, this one's hard because I feel like a
lot of women do that because we've been taught that,
like people will just disrespect us and people will talk
like that. I think this happens more with women than
with men. So you can feel like self preservation because
if I say something, is there going to be some
kind of punishment or consequence for me sticking up for myself,
(13:09):
especially in the workplace.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
They're like, what's the backlash?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah so but yeah that's tough. But also what I
try to mind myself is because oftentimes I would laugh
something off because I don't want to make them uncomfortable,
especially if I feel like I'm not sure if they
meant to be rude or not. But then I'm like,
wait a second, I'm uncomfortable, So why am I swallowing
the discomfort? Like they're allowed to be uncomfortable too.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, And one way to handle that is just that's
not funny and then move on instead of laughing at it,
but like you don't have to make it dramatic and
this whole thing of like why do you think that's funny?
Like don't just like a statement of like, oh that's
not funny, yeah, and move on.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, there was there was some list at some point
you read. I honestly don't know what it was for,
but I liked one of the statements where it was like, well,
that's a weird comment to make, like just being like.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, uh it really is odd. Yeah, that one will
really throw people off.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
It's odd thing to say out loud.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Like oh yeah, interesting thing to.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Say hell loud?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay, awkward. The third way is the approval seeker, So
you explain yourself when you do not need to.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, I do that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, I explain a lot, over, explain over, explain you've
helped me a lot with over explaining.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oh my gosh, if we could, I wish we could
show like a case study of your progress.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
So you've noticed.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Well, I just remember back in the day working on
some things with you, like texts you would send people
or stuff like that, and I'd be like, this is
too much information. And now I feel like you've become
good at I think it's because you have your scripts now.
Sometimes I love a script. Yeah, but I just remember
you used to give so much information. I think you
(14:59):
wanted people understand you, but sometimes people aren't. They're not.
They're just going to choose to not understand you. So
this doesn't matter. It clear as kind is something I
think you've adopted to.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
What we think when we do this is I'm being
polite and considerate in giving all the details. And what
you're teaching people when you do that is my decisions
need their approval to be valid. When really a simple
response could be that doesn't work for me, full stop.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Would you send a message like that.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yes, I have done it in my relationship. That doesn't
work for me. You know that I tell you that
exact line. This doesn't work for me. I think is
how I said it.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Do you relate to the part that says I'm being
polite and considerate or I think that's.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
In general why a lot of people do it. But
I'm doing it to make sure that they don't think
negatively of me, or that they understand the full picture
so they don't it doesn't reflect poorly on me because
I feel like the more information I give will be helpful.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I also feel like there might be a part of
that doesn't want to come off as me, and you
want them to understand that, like, yeah, they think positive.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah, I think we're saying the same thing, right, yes?
Or does this not work for you?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Well? I think it's both them not taking it personally
is also going to help them think positively of you. Yes, exactly. Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
The fourth way the enabler. Are you any of these
by the way, or are you just so helpful?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I do the laugh at disrespectful comments. That's when I
struggle with that. I'm I'm to the actively working on
I definitely don't fall on the availability.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
You're not, Oh you need something? Do you even offer
Thursday at two pm?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
No? I will offer a time, but I don't think
i'm anybody when I think of my friends, I don't
think any of them think of me as the person that,
like the.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Go to callcat, she's always available.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I'm not, yeah, not to. They'll come to me for
like support or advice or questions, but they're okay if
something happened. I'm paying myself as a bad friend. If
something happened, people know that I'll be there, but I'm
not always available.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Sounds like you're being an approval seecret at the moment.
You don't need to overexplain. We know who you are too,
sm just kidding the enabler. You give second chances to everyone,
and what you think is, well, everybody makes mistakes and
or something that just came to mind for this one.
A lot is like their childhood or what is that called?
(17:48):
Like a excuse like you if you excuse their trauma,
like you feel bad because their behavior is a result
of something that they went through. But it's got a
word like apologist. I mean, I can't even think of
the quote I wanted to say earlier that I thought
was so good, So don't ask my brain right now.
But you know, like a never mind, you're a defense,
(18:11):
a pulse justify you justify you. I feel like there
is an exact thing. Maybe it'll come to me.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Maybe not.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
What you're teaching them when you enable that way is
actions don't have consequences. And what you could try instead
is I've already addressed this with you moving forward dot
dot dot.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Fill in the blank. I think I used to do this,
especially with men. I would excuse them, But I think
that was more because I'd like, I wanted to squeeze
the lemon of out of a relationship when it was
really over.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah, that one last job.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, Kat.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Maybe the other day because we were talking about just
breakups in general, like in life, and Kat was like,
I don't I don't know, like I've never been the
one to break up, like I've only been broken up
with and do you want to it it's true? Are you
gonna admit what you say that you do now as
a married woman. Yeah, it's funny, Okay, it made me laugh.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So I've never I mean, I've ended something with somebody
that was like a fling, but not like a serious
I've never had to break up with somebody that I
think somebody like cried over me, you know, whereas I've
been broken up with multiple times and I felt that
like sadness whatever, So sometimes and I would do it.
I mean sometimes I still think about it, but I
(19:31):
would do it more. When we were in dating. I
would just picture what it would be like to break
up with Patrick, just to see his reaction, to see
what he would do and how he would feel. Because
I think this comes from like I want people to
like long for me the way that I have longed
for other people. And so I'm like, I want somebod
to be heartbroken over losing me. But then guys, I
(19:55):
would never do it. Yeah, would just have thought about it.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
We just think about breaking up with them, so you
can see how sad he'd be.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, and like would he cry? And when he, like,
I try to hang out with his friends. You would
go to the bar and he would just cry, So
do you have to go home? And then his friends
would be like, Patrick, come on out, there's girls here,
and he'd be like, I don't want to see any
other girls. I love Cat And then he'd like call
me every night, beg for me to go back.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah, you just thought about it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Just once or twice. Hear me when I say I
would never.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, and after you said that, You're like, also, this
isn't healthy. I was like, I'm crazy, But I love
that you admit that sort of stuff, and it's it.
I feel like it's a thought.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
That's the kind of daydreams I have.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yeah, and I don't know that i've I mean, I
had two serious boyfriends before I got married, and I'm
pretty sure they both. I mean, one ended because it
needed to end. But I think I probably would have
stayed with him. I would have been an enabler. He
did a lot of like not great things. But I
(20:59):
was like, oh, that's just a mistake that you helped
up with your ex girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I know you feel bad.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And I came to your house to pick up my
cell phone because I forgot it and I caught y'all,
mm hmm, just a mistake.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
When did you stay with them?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Well, I'm pretty sure we kind of broke up that night.
And then that's when I drank too many white Russians
and I cannot to this day, to this day, I
cannot have a sip of a white Russian.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Where were you going? Where you were ordering a white Russian?
Where were you going where you were ordering a white Russian?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Ptarmigan The Ptarmigans. We would call it Petar.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
It's a bar frozen drink.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Brian College Station. Across from Carnies it's the twenty one
and up bar. So there's two bars in Brian College
Station area, Texas A and M, and they were I
have no idea. I'm sure they're still there, but these
were very popular when I was there. And one was
eighteen and up. That was Carnie's and across the street
was Ptarmigan and it was twenty one and up. And
(22:08):
I must have been twenty one. That's the only reason why.
Note well, I mean, it's not like I didn't get
in sometimes before I officially turned twenty one. But I'm
pretty sure at the time that this relationship ended, or
when this would have happened, I would have been twenty
one at Ptarmigan having white Russians and I got so sick.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Was that your drink of choice?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It was that night, Okay, I'll have a white Russian
I mean, and I was like crying.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It was like, not good, I'll take another.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I don't recall that ever really being my drink of choice.
To answer your question, I just know that night I
must have really wanted to turn into story I went
on and they taste like milkshakees, so it gets out
of controls. I don't know, I would have to. Okay,
So a classic white Russian cocktail requires, according to Shannon,
(22:58):
three main ingredients vodka, coffee, and liqueur like khalua and
cream heavy cream half in half or like whole milk
served over ice in an old fashioned glass.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Okay, so that is So what's a bushwhacker? It's like
the same thing bushwacker. I don't think is coffee. I
think it's it's like chocolatey, but it might be. I
actually don't know what's in a bushwacker, but they're they're frozen.
They're actually like milkshakes, but they're like more icy than Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
But okay, well this girl, uh, I enabled his behavior
behavior a little bit then. I'm sure I think we
dated a little bit more after that at some point.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Is that egg boyfriend egg you cried up the eggs?
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh? No, that was that was the one after him? Okay,
and uh, he definitely broke off with me. There is
no confusion on who ended it. The thing about the
one before, Actually, I think meeting him is what helped
me not go back to the other do you know
what I mean? Like the enabler. I probably would have
gone back to multiple times because I always did, and
(24:04):
he was the way that he was a ladies man,
if you will. There was one time, if I ever
told you a story, where I was we were in college,
but I was we were back in Austin. I was
home visiting for the weekend. He was from Austin too,
but he was in our driveway and just had left,
and we cell phones and house phones still coexisted together.
(24:28):
This isn't like cell phone time. So he called the
landline and said is I won't say her name now.
I think I used to tell this story and say
her name, but that feels weird now that I've matured.
But he was like, let's say it was Catherine. Is
Catherine there? And I was like what You're what?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
This is? Amy?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Like, you're in my driveway. But Catherine was another one
of his ex girlfriends. And my mom just looked at
me and she was like, Amy, you know what he's doing.
He's literally leaving here and calling her because he's going
to meet up with her. He's going over to her house,
Like that's what he's doing. And I was with him no,
(25:11):
because he had some excuse. Oh but like his I
could see his tail lights in my driveway. He hadn't
even fully left, and from his car was calling what
he thought was her landline. Because it's not like he
probably didn't have those numbers saved and he probably just
went to like the recent you know what I mean.
So anyway, same guy. So the girl that when I've
(25:34):
left my cell phone his house in college station now
that we're back in college, that was a different ex girlfriend,
and so who knows. He just was a mess. But
then I met the other guy, and then that helped
me not go back to him. And then I acted
like a psycho and he made me eggs one day
(25:54):
and I was like, you know, I don't eat that, y'all.
I was like crazy person.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, oh my god, you we're doing the best you could.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
At the time, my disordered eating was so out of control.
It was almost like do you not even know me?
I can't have the yolk?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
But also that was what two thousand and two, like
what did we where? Was were we eating yolk then?
Or was I just not eating yolk? Because you know,
we've had a love relationship with the yolk.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I just can't get past the way you say it.
You no, I was gonna say that, and you kept
saying that, say it your way, yoke, yoke yo, I
don't say it a British accent. Well that's how when
you say yolk, it kind of sounds gross.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Well that doesn't work for me. That's not funny. We
try all the ways, Like I feel disrespected right now,
and I'm like, I'm I'm never helping you. I've already
addressed this with you. Those are all the things, Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I think it was just the amount of times you
said it. You just said it once, Okay, fine, yoke, Okay,
you can say it however you want. It was just
you said it like six times. Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
There's things I can't say. Yolk, dwear, crown, these those
are three words I'm never gonna say. However wants me
to say them? No, I say almen, Oh, I only
say okay, fine, okay, four words poem, poem, poem, those
are words I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
So I have four words that I struggle with. You're right, poem, drawer, crown, yolk,
And why do I say it? Why do I not
say it? Correctly.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
You're asking me, well, I don't know. I don't know,
but either, but I think it's okay for you to
say them that way. I'm good to work on not
calling it okay. I don't care if you call it out.
Everybody calls it out.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I was talking about these color sticks crayons.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I grew up saying crown too. Like I think a
lot of people say, what is it? What's there spelled crayon?
But they are crowns.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
So what am I saying wrong?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Why? Why did we ever start saying crowns?
Speaker 1 (28:23):
They are crowns, crowns.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
You'd kind of say a mixture of crayon and crown
crown crayon. But I don't know why. It was crayon
hard for people to say as a kid. So we
just all started saying crown. Okay, that's it, and then
you just get used to it. I say begel instead
of bagel.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, you should not be talking begelgel a begel.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Begel.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Do you say grocery do you say, like, Shannon's in here,
So I'll say use as an example, like she'll say
I'm going to the grocery.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I say grocery store.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, some people just say grocery.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah. I think that's like a where you grew up
because also my friend that is from Boston says she's
going food shopping, food shopping stead of grocery shopping. Okay.
Shannon used to say that where did you grow up? Okay,
so Philly. So I think in the northern part they
say food shopping instead of grocery shopping. Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
So because I always grew up saying we're gonna go
to the store or the grocery store, and then some
people just leave it as oh, I'm headed to the grocery,
and then I'm always well, that's what it's to them,
that's the store.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, I'm going to the grocery like I'm going to
the mall.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Right, okay, yeah, Well, speaking of words and listening and
hearing and talking, yeah, we can move on to the
next category, the second part of the gate class. Did
you know there are five levels listening?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
This is gonna be a little test. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
You and I both are like the number one The
number one type of listening were the wait to talk?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Well, can I give a yat?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I feel like in my personal life I listened differently
than my professional life. Oh, yeah, for sure, because I
don't want anybody to listen to this and be like, oh,
she's probably terrible what or job?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Oh no, I think that you can definitely prioritize.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah, but like when I'm not working, I'm like, oh,
I just want to be myself absolutely.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
And also, yeah, your primary job when you're listening, because
the number one thing is waiting to talk. Like when
you're a therapist, you are listening most of the time.
You can't be like waiting to Like I'm trying to
imagine if I went to a therapist and then they
talked the entire time.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
I feel like, especially if you had stuff to say.
Some clients like it, oh to say no no, no, no, no no.
I wouldn't know. I'm saying, like, if you had stuff
to say that would really bother you, which it would
bother me too. There are some clients that like don't
speak much, so you help like facilitate them to come out. Yeah,
(31:07):
you like to.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Prompt massage the converse.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Okay, waiting to talk. You're quiet, but only because you're
thinking about what you'll say next, and I'm itching to
do it.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, I do that a lot.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Waiting to talk, waiting to talk, waiting to talk. It's
called also called self focused.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Oh I don't.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
That doesn't sound very good.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
I just one of the reasons I do that is
I get really excited. And also we've talked about this,
we forget, which clearly you can see how easily you
forget things that you want to say. I forget stuff.
If I don't say it, sometimes that means it wasn't
that important. It might not need to be said.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Don't worry this entire conversation. I've been trying to think
of that quote in the back of my mind, and
I'm like, stay focused, stay focused, but think of the quote.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
What is the quote?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Can't think of the quotes? Still haven't thought of it.
My goal is to think of it by the end
of the episode. But also if I don't, it just
wasn't that important. Yeah, and it meant to me, but
it feels so good to think of it.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
You still probably have a little bit of time.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
You can be hearing the words, So this is a
distracted listener. You catch parts of the conversation, but your
attention drifts.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I don't think I relate to that unless I do
sometimes well, unless I'm really preoccupied with something going on. Yeah,
like I don't know that would be right now, But well.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
I can give you an example, like when I'm at
the grocery store, because I've done this with you before.
If I'm at the grocery store and I'm on the
phone and you're talking and I'm also actively at the
grocery when i'm food chopping jopping, and I'm on the
phone with somebody and they're talking and I'm looking for
something and I'm trying to and I have I'm over simulated.
I will be like, oh, shoot, like I just missed
(32:55):
a part and I need to like admit.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Like do you admit it or do you just like
act like you know.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Well, I'll try to, I feel like, try to survive.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
But sometimes you're just like yeah, and I'm like to.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Cheat you maybe, which I feel we all know that yeah, yeah,
You'll never know maybe it was a yeah, or maybe
it was a yeah. I really hope I can pick
up on what she's saying, but it wasn't intentional and
I care about what you're saying. I know there's been
a time where I've like I had to say like
I'm sorry. I don't remember what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Grocery shopping and having a serious conversation. It's really hard.
I can't even I used to try to well, let's look,
call it audio books while I grocery shop, and I
would not end up hearing what was said because I'm
so focused on finding my broccoli. You know. So that's tough. Yeah,
so be easy on yourself.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
There's the understanding the message type of listener. This is
the focus This is who you want to be. This
is who you want to be to all you focusers
out there.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
You're tuned in.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
You hear not just the words, but what they mean.
You're listening to understand, not reply. How to be this
person who just listens, no reply?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
But what if you want to reply? Like, what if
I want you to reply to me? You wait?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I imagine that you wait as a listener, and then
you say, probably the question we've talked about even a
listener remind us about it of do you want me
to just listen or do you want me to give
my thoughts?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Do you want my feedback?
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah? Okay. Next up is the listener that recognizes emotions.
This is the empathetic person.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Feels like they're getting better as we go.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You go deeper, you sense their emotional state and recognize
how they feel, not just what they say.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Yeah, okay, I just have to say this. I think
you do and myself in this category. We do all
of these. It's not like you always are the waiting
to talk.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
It just is that's true, and I can be I
can feel, you know. What I really feel the most
is the sort of unrelated but like Stevenson and I
were watching like funniest home videos the other day, and
I have a really hard time watching the videos where
people fall or hit their groin area or like they slide,
(35:30):
like I don't. Stevenson's like dying laughing, and he's like, oh,
and I am uncomfortable. I don't like it. I feel
it in my body, like my body feels it painful.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
I do love a slipping video. There's some funny videos
of people familis. I don't like when people are embarrassed.
I I do not find that funny and I get
very uncomfortable. I don't want to embarrass somebody else, and
if somebody else feels embarrassed, I want to rescue them.
But I can watch somebody fall, unless it's like they
(36:03):
broke a bone, then that's like oh.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, But a lot of times when it's submitted to
the America's funny at some videos, like it's not a
tragic event, it's they're even laughing. But my body feels
it like I I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Okay, your feelings, emotions, you're connected.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
And then finally someone who hears what's unsaid, so they
are fully present, like you can pick up up up
on the deeper meaning, like the things that someone might
be struggling to express what they need you to hear,
so you.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Know the unset.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, I don't know that I have that gift I
need more like so tell me you know, Yeah, I'm
not a mind reader.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah, I don't know that anybody is fully this picking
up a Yeah we can pick up on the deeper meaning,
but like, yeah, we're not. That's I can't read people's minds.
And I listen to people for a living mm hmm,
because when you assume things, often then we're just planting
that in their head and we don't know if that's
really actually what they need or not.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
You know what assuming does.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
It makes a bad word of you and me.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So do you think that falls into the category a
bad word?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
According to the FCC, Shannon, look that up. I mean
if podcasting you can cuss, not that we were not
a podcast, that CUSSS is. But FCC for the federal
the regulate. They regulate what's allowed on airwaves like the
radio and TV, but podcasting doesn't have the same regulations.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
But that's like, would you want your six year old
saying that word?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
No? But I don't. I do think I on radio
and TV, we might be able to say.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Oh, I just don't like that word. The word oh really, Yeah,
I say other curse words, willy nilly, I just don't
really like that one. And how I know that you
don't like when I say pisses me off? You don't
like that I don't like that word?
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Okay, okay. According to the FCC's website, Federal Communications Commission,
to be exact, they do consider that word.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
You can say it a SS.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Like we're children, a vulgar, indecent or profane term that
is inappropriate for broadcasts between six am.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
And ten pm.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
So ten oh one pm, let it rip. But what
is that saying? For real? I'm trying to think of
it because I can't. My brain doesn't know. You know
what assumptions we know what assuming does makes it.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
As out of me, you and me, you and me.
It's like how you.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Fellow you and me because assume.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Yeah, that's how excited me to throw you off.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
No, I get it now, I know the saying, but
I also call you that quote. I just almost want
to sit here are you until I think of the quote,
like you train people how to treat you? That's where
And then I had another quote that's similar. What did
we just sit here till I figure it out?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Let's just like, let me just sit here. Let's just
let's just say some quotes. I can tell you a
story of when I act I was broken up with.
I mean, I broke up with somebody once. Okay, I
(39:37):
can tell you a story of when I act I
was broken up with. I mean, I broke up with
somebody once. Okay. It came to me earlier and I
didn't think it was important, but now it feels important.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Okay, I'm gonna be listening as much as I can
while I also try to think of the quote.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Okay, well, my active So this was in fifth grade.
It was my first boyfriend. He was so cute and
he asked me I it was girl friend. And then
we didn't talk because you know, when you're in fifth
grade and you have a boyfriend, then you get scared
of them. And then so I had my friend break
up with him because I wasn't talking to him obviously,
(40:11):
and he was really upset, and he sent me an
email that night. Well, first he called me and asked
me to get on AIM so we could talk. So
we couldn't talked on the phone, and I said no.
So then he sent me an email and he said
that the only two things he wants out of life
are for me to go back out with him again
and to go to heaven.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Oh so did you?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I think I just was so anxious about having a
boyfriend because then I wouldn't speak to I got nervous
when I would see him. But like before we were friends.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Where is he now?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Oh he's like a professional baseball coach? Shut up?
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, dang, you kind of said that with.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I mean, I'm the happy So it's fine you're dating
or you're married. I've been married for a couple of
years now. I don't think as because we continue to
go to school together. I don't think as we both
grew into the people that we.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Are, we it wouldn't have worked.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
No, I mean there's nothing. I don't there's nothing wrong
with him.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
I I feel like baseball players are a unique breed.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Fact, yeah, there's just something they doubt. I don't know.
I mean not fifth grade, but since he went up
to be a professional baseball coach, I assume he played
and like not in college. I think high school college, Like,
I don't know, they just I can't speak to the
ones now, but in my day growing up, they all
(41:37):
had the same esthetic and vibey and dairy nurses and
you know those little hemp necklaces.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
The titanium. For a while they were who were wearing
like titanium necklaces.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah, they just have a vibe.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Yeah, And I think about this now. Baseball would be
like if I had to marry an athlete, Like what
what athlete would you marry? Because baseball, I feel like,
would be hard.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
There's so many games.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Yeah, Like I would want the shortest season that makes
the most money, that has the smallest risk of energy.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Okay, injury, tennis injury or golf, golf, They're gone a lot.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yeah, but they're not going to really get that hurt.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
But like, if you had to watch them, don't you
think like a tennis match.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Would be Yeah, tennis would be cool a little more fun,
and I think golf was also. I would get really
anxious because you never like people are more consistent in
tennis than Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
I think I kick either, though I'm choosing tennis.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
I'd rather have tennis because then they could teach me.
I'm more interested in also playing tennis with my husband
than playing golf.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Yeah, when you said the that your fifth grade boyfriend
was like, there's only two things I want in life,
it made me think of something unrelatedship, but two things
like too, not the quote. Not the quote, not the
quote another quote. Okay, this is from this is an
unknown I think. Okay, if I don't know, I don't
(43:09):
think there's a person for me to credit. But it's
that quote of there's only two people you should be
living for, and it's your eight year old self and
your eighty year old self. Ooh, and if you can
make both those two people happy, then you're doing good.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Then most likely your present self will also be. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
So like that's who you should refer to, like when
you're thinking through like what you what would eight year
old me think of this? Or is eighty year old
me gonna think this is the right thing to do?
Like eighty year old me is thinking a lot about
alcohol lately in white Russians. No, just like not drinking alcohol.
Eight year old me is I.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Hope what I'm eighty, I'm still having to margarita every
now and then.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, that would be great in all I guess I'm
just like I yes, I just think my algorithm right
now is showing me toxic things and maybe I need
to get off that and just live in la la
land and be like, oh, alcohol is totally fine in moderation. Yeah,
they say that, But then those that are adamantly against it,
(44:16):
they and they're doctors and they're building a case and
they're like, there's no way to spend this. People like
to do these studies and tell you, oh, well, this
could be good for your heart and a glass of
wine a day, and they're like no, no. But then
you hear people that live until they're a hundred, and
it's like, what's your secret? And they're like, bacon and beer.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Right, and so in Italy they drink water, I mean
wine like. It's water like, and they're it's relatively healthy.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Their food and wine, I think is very different than America.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Drink wine from Italy when I'm eighty.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Well, there you go, that's true.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I think your lifestyle probably has more to do with it.
I don't want to fear monger people into you're not
about it.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
I guess I'm just I'm not. I still am drinking.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
A lot.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Prove it, right, Oh I still drink, Yeah, I will
right now.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Just not just not a white Russian ever ever, ever again?
Crazy to think, like I've not had a white I
don't know exactly what why that was? Well, because it's
just like that's a very definitive moment of a time
where I remember having something and then never again.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Well maybe you got sick off of it and then
you can never I.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
Did, and I don't. Also, just the memories from that
night are so bad. Yeah, everything about that was so bad.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Where did you wake up so bad?
Speaker 1 (45:41):
I'm telling you it's somehow okay, everything so bad, Like
I'm not ever having okay, a white Russian again, But yeah,
I don't. You're right, I don't want to fear monger either.
I guess it's just when I think of eight year
old like I went to a stretch class for the
first time ever, like like a week ago at like,
(46:03):
oh oh where they stretch you.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, I've been wanting to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
For an hour and I ended up getting a little
three month membership because I want to stretch on my
own and I know that I'm capable. But this is
sort of like my kickstart, Like they're going to like
kickstart me, and I'm doing that for eight year old me.
Eight year old me, you're probably be like, why are
you sending money on that? This is silly, But eight
(46:28):
year old me is like, thank you.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, did it hurt? Because I've been wanting to know. Okay,
you're probably more flexible than me, though.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
I'm actually not that flexible. I'm pretty it's pretty bad. Okay,
my hand strings are so tight. And I learned too
that my achilles, who knew are so tight. They have
this video like camera that will take video of you
squatting and you're kind of mimicking this cartoon person and
then it looks like how you're like your range of
(46:57):
motion and she was like oh, oh, what's going on
with your ankles? Like, I don't know, I've never really
thought about it. But my when she was stretching my
calves my achilles in my feet, like I was like,
oh my gosh, this is so painful. And she's like, yeah,
I think this is what was being picked up on
the screen when you were doing the squats. But I
just never pay attention to that part of my body,
(47:19):
so I didn't know that it was a little needed
a little attention.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Yeah, I'm al shared to see what they say about me.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yeah, so I'll say they give you a range of
like if you feel one to ten, and they're like,
we want you to feel like, we don't want you
to feel a ten, Like if it's anything pain, yeah, Like,
don't speak up, because that's not the goal is to
be in pain and power through. It's to be still
comfortable but like making and then you like push against
(47:48):
them and then release and that'll hopefully allow you to
push a little bit further. So you have to be active,
Like I kind of thought like sometimes when she kept
asking me to push, I'm.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Like, you're supposed to stretch me.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
This is where I just want to lay here and
you do it. But it did feel really good. I
enjoyed it so much so that I'm letting you know,
like I got I'll let you know after the three
months how I feel.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I love that you just did three months and you
didn't sign up for a whole year.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Oh why would I do that? You signed up for
the whole year of Well, yeah, that was a really
good deal. Yeah, that was a really good deal. Best decision.
And so far the amounts of classes that I've done,
if you divide it by the amounts of months, have.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Been going like saving money?
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Yeah, yeah, making money?
Speaker 2 (48:31):
That is girl mad.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
You're making money by making money?
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Yeah? Okay, Well maybe you've motivated me to go do
something like that.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Or I could show you some of the stretches.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
I'm not. This is my thing. I'm not going to
do them. I have stretches that I should be doing
right now that a physical therapist has given me. I'm
not going to do them unless I did then when
I went to the physical therapist. But I can't. You
know how you said that sometimes you'll lay on the
floor and say you're gonna stretch, but then you'll just
lay on the floor. I won't even get on the floor. Okay, yeah, all.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Right, Well after all that, I still don't know the quote.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Well you know it. Maybe you'll think of it over
the next week and we'll keep everybody on their toes
and then you'll have it to start the next episode out.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
If I think of it, I'm going to have to
call you or text you. So we have it in writing,
and I know what it is text because right now
I've romanticized it that it was like, oh, gonna be
such a good quote. It's me life changing to the episode.
People probably stopped listening after she.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Just know the quote. I don't want to listen.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Oh, it could have been so helpful. I just know it.
We TVD, but a quote that we do know that
it is very helpful. Before we say it, I do
want to give our email and our phone number. Do
you know the phone number.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
Two O seven two O seven two O seven seven. No,
that's close eight seven seven two O seven two O
seven seven. Yeah, okay, that was basically it.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
So you can call and leave us a voicemail eight
seven seven two A seven two A seven seven.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Sick sick, and then you can email us you can
feel things podcast.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Hey there, Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast. I created
the email I know, and then Kat also does our
newsletters too, which we have one going out next week
next week, Yeah, every other week. We don't spam you.
They're easy to digest. Oh, if I think of the quote,
we could throw.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
It in the email. Yes, yes, that's great, that's yes, totally.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
So many people are going to sign up now.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
They're like, we know, we know how to put clickbait
out there.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
You're gonna want to know the quote that I may
or may not come up with.
Speaker 2 (50:45):
It will change your life.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
It will change even though we don't know what it
is life. Let's end on this before I share our
ending quote that we say every episode. This also may
or may not be life changing for some people. But
do you ever sanitize your pillow that you sleep on
in anyway?
Speaker 2 (51:00):
I wash it?
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Not your pillow case, your pillow.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Oh oh no, yeah, you're just trying to find other ways.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
No, not that not she isn't you? No?
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Have you always sanitized?
Speaker 1 (51:14):
No? I'm telling you something. I saw a little tip,
a little tippy tip. Okay, and it makes sense. So
with the orphanage where my kids lived, anytime you like
once a week, they would rotate all the mattresses and
put them out in the sun, and they would just
lay there all day in the sun and then be
time to go to bed. They didn't have to really
make the beds because the kids just slept on pretty
much bear mattresses, so it wasn't that big of a
deal to move all the mattresses outside and then they
(51:37):
would let the sun sanitize it. So I saw similarly,
we should be every so often, maybe every couple of
weeks or once a month, whatever's doable for you, Like
throw your pillows outside in the sun and let the
sun sanitize them. I wonder what that does sanitize them well,
(51:58):
because there's all kinds of little like mites.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
I'm wondering what this like. I'm just wanting to know
the science of the sun sanitizing, like baking off the mites. Oh? Gross,
is she hand and put it in the dock?
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Oh we haven't in the dock. Well, let me look
it up.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
I close my dock.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
I did too, but it's okay, I know.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
My past word. It's zero zero zero zero zero. I
don't like that you said there's mites in my pillow.
Now I'm gonna be grossed out.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Oh well, I'm not trying to gross you out. Okay.
Placing pillows in sunlight once a week naturally sterilizes them
with UV rays. Research shows that ultraviolet radiation kills dust, mines, bacteria,
and mold. Bonus, they get, this gives you cleaner sleep
and clearer skin.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Crazy, Okay, that's easy. Oh.
Speaker 1 (52:49):
Shannon also put maybe some quotes in here that she
thinks might be the quote that I was trying to say. Okay,
we train people how to treat us. Okay, we talked
about that one. You you teach people how to treat
you by what you allow, what you stop, and what
you reinforce. It definitely was not that many words.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
What you reap is what you sew.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
No, it wasn't that people treat you the way you
allow them to treat you. Nope. The way you believe
about and treat yourself sets the standard for others on
how you demand to be treated.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Nope.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Dang.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
One day, you are what you eat.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Yeah, then I'm a thin mint right about. I'm not
not a white Russian anymore, because gosh, how many years
has that been.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
I'm an orange. I cannot stop eating oranges, right, now.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
You definitely are an orange and I'm a thin mint.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
I don't wait your What was the hack you had
the other day? You put the YAsO in the thin mint?
Is that you?
Speaker 1 (53:44):
Yes? I had, I'm out if I say had. I
had some yasso mint chocolate chip.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
Which is my favorite one.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
What are they break yogurt popsicles or ice cream pops
So it's a popsicle. So what I did was I
opened it up. I didn't even eat the whole pop
squall and kind of cut it in half and put
it in the freezer for next time. And then from
that I made I got thin mints, and I made
miniature little ice cream sandwiches thin mint with mint ice
cream in the middle.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
That was probably I don't even like thin mints. That
probably was really good.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Oh it was.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
I love mint ice cream.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
What does Deathanye Frankle say, davoon?
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Do you far? No? I not the biggest. No, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
I'm not. I don't know that I am either. But
she does say davoon.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
I don't know what that means, like divine, oh davo.
Is that like just her fun way of saying it,
or is that different language?
Speaker 1 (54:41):
Or is that like her Crown.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Plain. She thinks she's saying it right. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Okay, well, we hope wherever you are, you're having the day.
Speaker 2 (54:49):
You need to have. Bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
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Amy Brown
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