August 4, 2026 • 61 mins
We break down the idea of an annual "Girls Dinner" (specifically built around the question "What the hell are we doing with our lives?"), where you and your closest friends put your phones away and answer things like what you want more of, what you're tolerating that needs to change, and what you'd go after if you knew every woman in the room had your back.
Then we shift into 6 rules for avoiding cringe behavior, from speakerphone use in public to scrolling through someone's photos without asking.
We also share our feelings of the day and get into whether it's too soon to buy a "Golden Girls" style house with your best friend decades before you're actually that age. We also ask a question that doesn't come up enough: do you ever lie about your occupation? For example, would you lie about being a therapist to a stranger on a plane just to avoid unpacking their childhood trauma on vacation?
Oh, and we watched the documentary "A Toxic Love Story" and we have thoughts.
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Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh too good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Just falls Amy and Cat got your cob and locking
the brob me the lady's and pelts. You just follow
an the spirit where it's.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
All the front.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
And real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the end.
But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It jes stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Amy and Cat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and my feeling the day
is eager, eager. Yeah, I have a haircut coming up
or a hair appointment. Well, I will be getting my
haircut but also colored, and I have not This going
lighter in my hair was my decision. I fully asked
for it last time I went, and we brought the
(00:51):
lightness up to my root a little bit higher and
more of it and no bad idea.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
That's on me. I even texted my hair person, I'm
hating my hair. It's on me.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I take full responsibility. But the eagerness and the excitement
around it is. My appointment was originally further out, but
she had a cancelation, so she's getting me in about
eight days, sooner than I would have, and I I'm
ready for that.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You're not. You're not doing what now? I'm not going
to chop my hair? Okay, well what I know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Not gonna do bangs.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I don't think I'm not gonna do I'm not doing
anything drastic other than going.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Darker the color that you're used to.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, I mean, I've always had highlights, but I think
I'm gonna try something a little bit darker. Since we're summers,
we're rounding into getting close dark months, so I may
try to do something darker. But I'm very eager, and
I hope I don't hate it, and I hope, like
a few weeks from now, I'm not texting her up
my dad. I take all the resincely my responsibil I
(01:56):
take all the responsibility. I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
But have you.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Had the experience where it's not your fault and it's
really bad m.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And you have to like, well, remember last summer when
I was given money pieces?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, and I.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Didn't ask for them.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Okay, but would you did say some blonde stripes. I
did go back and she put toner on them to
tone them down because they were just it was a
little too much for me, even though it was very
much in style. We're speaking of stuff that's in style.
Kat and I were talking before we were recording, and
I was like, my jeans are just so high up.
They're like when I sit down, they come up, and
Kat goes, that's okay, that's what's in style. I was like,
(02:36):
I really don't think it's in style because I think
mid to low rise technically that's what's in style. But
we have now hit an age where what is in
style is what we feel good in. And I feel
better in a high rise. So that's that's what works
for me. And so what money pieces, I don't need
(02:57):
money pieces might be in style, I don't need them.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
They do not work for me. Well, I was just
asking that this, like are you the kind of person
that says something? Or are you the kind of person?
I was like, I love it, And then you go
home and you just like look in the mirror and
you cry. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I guess I haven't been in that situation an awful lot,
But I in my experience like, if you say something,
they'll help tweak it. Like I went in, She's like, oh,
let me put some toner on the money pieces, it'll
calm them down.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, well, what about you. I haven't had an experience
where somebody who has done my like I've gone and
paid for it to get done and it was really bad.
But I did let a friend cut my hair.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
As an adult.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Have I not told you this? I don't know, were
you a child or an adult? I was okay, I
was in college and I was poor and I had
no money, and a girl that I went to high
school with posted on her Facebook like, Hey, I'm in
hair school. I'm trying to get.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Some like hours, portfolio hours.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I don't know. If you watch my baby, I'll cut
your hair.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh yeah, you have told me this now that you
bring in the baby part the barter system she had
going on.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, And so I did it. I thought I was
to watch her baby for like two hours, and I
also didn't know how to watch a baby either. So
she cut my hair in my bathroom. It was completely
crooked like this, which I mean she was new. But
then I watched her baby and she didn't come back
(04:25):
till like between I feel like one and three in
the morning. I thought she was going to come back
at like nine. So look what I do again? Now yeah,
and then I had to go pay, so I did
that for it to be free. Then I had to
go pay to get my actual hair girl to cut
my hair, and she was like, Catherine, why did you
do that? And I was like, because I don't have
(04:46):
any money and she was like, well, you're now spending
it and she fixed it.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, that's quite the story.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
But I definitely didn't tell the person that cut it
that it was.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Crooked, right, because you just didn't want to deal with that. Yeah,
you're at DOT, you don't have to babysit again. And
the whole thing was just awkward. If you don't speak
up on that sort of thing. Is that people pleasing behavior,
Like we are paying for a service. So if we
tend to keep quiet but we don't like something, because
there's obviously a kind way to go about it, but
(05:17):
you're still having to go outside of your comfort zone
and speak up and say, oh, you know, these money
pieces are a little bright for me, I don't I Internally,
I was like, I didn't ask for them.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
I don't even know what they are. But then I
learned at work.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I went to the Bobby Bone Show and Bobby was like, oh,
you're the front of your hair's a real bright and
then Morgan, who used to be on our show, she said, oh,
those are money pieces. They're a thing, And sure enough
I looked up online and money pieces were trending and
I was like, but I didn't ask for it, So
I had to step outside of my comfort zone because
I don't like, yeah, having to do that at all.
(05:56):
But there are some people where that would paralyze them
because they don't want to deal with any type of.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Confrontation like that, which is like you're that's the discomfort,
Like you don't want to make them uncomfortable, but what's
happening is you're uncomfortable and you paid for it. So
somebody has to be uncomfortable. And also that's their job,
so I would I would be uncomfortable doing that too.
I'm with those kind of people would be hard for me,
(06:23):
but that's their job, so I think that they also
know that that's like part of what kinds of the territory.
Have you ever complained about a massage?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
No, okay, like to the person or like a like
a I think it, you know, discreetly through a like
a comment card either.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Okay, so you've done one of them. No, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I just was imagining how would you tell someone in
person like this was a horrible massage.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I've had really bad experiences, but I just go talk
about them on the radio.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Already here, so yeah, So I mean, I don't say
who they are, but.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
This will like five maybe longer. Five years ago and
I went to a resort SPA. We were at a
resort on vacation with my mom and my sister. We
went to go get massages and we were sitting in
like the steam room or something. Everybody had their clothes
on it, and the people in there, there's two people
in there started talking to us and they were like, oh,
(07:20):
is this is your first time here. We're like yeah,
and they're like, we were here yesterday and we got
deep tissue massages. But they didn't even make us sore
this morning. So we complained and we got a free massage.
Oh wow, which is great.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I what, but I mean, if you are asking for
deep tissue and you would get like to the touch,
I mean, I know that I have to be sore,
but if they didn't meet their expectation, and spa prices
or resorts spa prices can be really expensive, so they
probably were either that's their thing and they swindle, or
they just genuinely were wanting somebody didn't know they would
(07:56):
get a free massage, but they just wanted to share
their experience and they were like, Oh, we'll comp you
a massage.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
That's probably what happened. Yeah, dang, yeah, I'm going to start.
If that's any motivation to share your feelings about things
free stuff, I'm.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Starting that person.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I don't either. I don't either. Okay, so my feeling
of the day, I'm feeling very lucky, which technically isn't
a feeling. But I have watched two documentaries this week
Shipwrecked Have you seen it? Nope, They're both on Netflix.
I'm not going to say much about either of them
because I think they're both kind of new. Shipwrecked, which
(08:35):
is about a cruise ship wrecking, that's what it's about,
so I'm not getting anything away, and then a Toxic
Love Story, which is about a toxic love story.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I love when a title of a show is squat
on there's no guessing there.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
And the Shipwrecked one, I think I'm just like, oh,
I feel very lucky that I've only been on one
cruise and we May It to Land. That's a great documentary.
I do recommend it, but don't don't watch that if
you love to go on cruises.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Well, I just went on a cruise this year and
with the Bobby Bone Show, and we have another one
coming up next mort maybe don't watch it. Well, that's
I'll be fine, okay. I mean the odds of something
like that happening are very slim.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
They are, but not zero. So and then the other one,
I felt lucky because I, you know, did a lot
of online dating and I'm alive. I felt lucky because I,
(09:46):
you know, did a lot of online dating and I'm
alive and nobody stole all my money. And I mean
I had some bad dates, but I just had this
feeling of these kinds of things can happen to anybody.
How did I get saved?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You know? Well, again, I think it's few and far between,
but it is crazy that those stories are out there.
I was with my friend Mary Elizabeth last night and
she has hinge and she came over to borrow an
outfit and then we were talking about dates and guys
and she was like, oh, I just reactivated my hinge.
So because she hadn't logged in in a while. She
(10:26):
had some notifications like fifty to go through, like guys
that had sent her roses, And so she sat down
at my kitchen counter and we went through them. Out
of all fifty, all of them got exed. No, there
wasn't a single like, and we were trying to read
all about them, like there were some that were really cute,
(10:46):
and then they would have one of those voice memo
note thingies and then he would say.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
You know, like one guy was like, I'm a tin,
but the scale.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Is out of one hundred, you know, And I'm like,
is he trying to be self depreciated?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean he was cute, Why is he.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Saying he's out of a hundred? That's not That's not
funny though, and on and and that's what you choose
to leave is a voice memo on the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think the voice memo the voice was really freaks
me out. Those were newer still when I was on Hinde.
What I liked about them is you got to hear
their voice.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
So it's like, I just don't think that they always
say yes.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
They should they they should be taking I think the.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Only thing that works if you're a guy listening and
you're on hinge and you want to do that. But
I think the only thing that really would work for
me would be like testing testing. This voice thing is weird.
I just wanted to be able to hear my voice.
Oh that's nice, that's funny, Like okay, bye, you know
that's it. Don't try to say something clever.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
One guy was going on and on.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
About how he's like a fun fact I learned recently,
and I'm just fear of phrasing this because I don't
know how the math shakes out, and I'm sure this
is easy math for some of you, but he's like, gosh,
I'm embarrassed, Like I don't even want to make something
up because I'm gonna sound stupid.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
But he's like.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
A fun fact I recently learned was if you talk
to one person, and each of us all have a
thousand different encounters in our day, but you talk to
one person, you've got your thousand and they've got their thousand.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Then together you've talked to a million people.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And then when you talk to five people, you've talked.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
To five million.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
And then if those people talk to each other, you've
impacted a billion people.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I don't know how he.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Was saying it, but I was like, that doesn't it's
not how it works, like just because you have. It's
sort of reminding of like sex said in school, when
they would be like, if you sleep with this one
person and they've slept with five people, you've now slept
with five people, or like or like I mean which
is true, like diseases, right, which is the point of sex? Said,
(12:57):
I get it, it's not, but then it'll be like
I'm Matt then if it and if that one of
the five they slept with this slept with ten people,
now it's fifteen, you know, but it just felt like
a weird Yeah, I don't love that fun fact that
like didn't make sense, but he was wowed by it
and acting he was acting as if think about that.
(13:19):
We think that what we say to one person doesn't matter,
but that one thing you say about one person really
affects a billion people.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I think was he trying to be like introspective and
like kind of like.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And if that is some legit fun fact quote from
a really wise person, then ignore me.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You can still not like it.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I just didn't like it. Well, no, not someone's like
generally speaking a lot wiser than me, and they have
a lot of wise things to say, or it's some
brilliant quote from somewhere, like I don't want to bag
on it. I just don't think that's what he should
have put as his voice memo text as this like
really profound thing of like his impact on humanity.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Okay, was he cute? Was there other things about his
profile that? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
But to me, at that moment, we are done, I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I was like, you're tough. Well, it wasn't even my profile.
It's hurt.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
So it's easier to just be like, oh x x x.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I can't remember we looked at again fifty so I
can't tell you the other things said he had about him.
There are some guys I can tell you that had
the mirror selfies at the gym where and they are
flexing and they pull their shorts up and they flex
their legs. No automatic no no or automatic no for me,
(14:36):
I mean, I'm just the.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Reason I don't like that, Well, it's not my style.
But I also don't like that because in general, so
what what about all the pictures in your life that
you have, is that the one that you want to
put on there? Because you have to think about, like
what you get? What five four or five pictures? What
do I want these? What do I want the people
(14:59):
in my looking at my profile to see? And that's
what they want you to They want to you to
see their physical body specifically. It's fine to take a picture.
You can take a picture in a gym, you can
take a picture at a workout. You can take a
picture doing something athletic. That because that shows something about you.
So that's what I don't like that, which is fine
(15:20):
for them if that's also what they're looking for. But
my thing is, if that's what you want me to see,
then we're probably not compatible because I don't want to
see them about Like, I don't want that to be
the thing that grabs you about me, and I don't
want that to be the thing that you're looking for
in me either.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, I'm sure this guy that is, yeah, someone that
will flex their quads with him.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
God, well, at least wasn't in his underwear. I've had
I've come across me or selfies of guys in their.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Little panties like white ties, yes tight, which should be
if not allowed on that right, it's like kind of
nudity I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Mean, I'm just a little more welsome.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
But if a girl's in there in her bikini or
a guy is an espedo, Okay, okay, that's fair, that's fair,
But like in your bathroom and your I get it.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
It just felt like in like, oh I didn't see
I mean to see that.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I definitely felt after looking at her fifty and ex
them all out, like we're about like she's I'm forty five,
she's about to turn fifty, and we're like, are we
just going to be alone forever? And she told me
that she has another friend that like she's doing the
Golden Girls thing with if like they don't end up married,
like they're going to live together.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
At what age do you decide that, well, is.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Now too young?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Is it too young? You?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Okay, so forty five is too young?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
But like at what age the Golden Girls were?
Speaker 4 (16:54):
What in they're when the show?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
In the show, they were sixty maybe were they sixty
five because they were retired?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
I mean, I know, so I watched the Golden Girls.
Would they all live together?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Okay, I don't know anything about them. Oh my gosh,
I'd be open to watch it.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Good.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I think you would love it. Go back and watch
some Golden Girls because it's such a good show. But
they all they all live together. So they've had divorces, deaths,
whatever has brought them together.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
They're all single and older.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And so there's Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia and Sofia
is Dorothy's.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Mom, and they all four live together in Blanche's house.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Okay, okay, So their characters were fifty three, fifty four,
fifty five. Oh so I mean you are not that
far off, yeah, because Sofia was eighty Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Okay, that okay, okay, But but hear me out. If
you want to do that and you have a friend
that wants to do that, I'm I will support you.
What happens though, if one of you do start dating,
because fifty three is not.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, they dated on the show a lot, especially Blanche.
They bring the men home Blanche did. Okay, Blanche sounds
like somebody who'd be dating. You know. She was a
little promiscuous. Yes, I mean they all dated, don't get
me wrong, but Blanche was Blanche, So are you are
you really open to this?
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Well something she.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Brought up and I thought, okay, that's a valid point,
But what age do you implement that? It's sort of like, hey,
if we're not with anybody with this age, we just
get married like a guy and a girl or whoever
in your life. And then this is sort of hey,
if we're not, I'm divorced, she's divorced. For other friends, like,
do we just bring everybody together and like have a
good time and buy an awesome house?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
So you know people did this?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Who?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Uh? Seven girls in China? This was like a big story. Okay, guy,
I did here. This was a big story on social
media a while ago. So I don't know all the
details from it, but it was seven girls bought put
their money together and bought a mansion and made it
into their dream house, and then they decided to live
(19:01):
in it together. So it's not it's not like people
don't do this.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Yeah, so I mean we could do it.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I'm just telling you things were looking pretty bleak last
night on her profile.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay, so are you out of handrit to make you
not want to like be on?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Oh I didn't have the desas after going through her page,
I didn't have the desire. I'm just not going to
I'm not ready for an app again. I mean, I'm
not saying I won't.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
I just don't have that desire. So I think I'm
good right now.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I can get the fix though it is kind of
fun to go through, but I can get the fixed
through her page. And then she was like, what if
we see a guy that you end up liking but
she's not a good fit for me, And she was like,
we were talking about how we would handle that, and
she said that she could send him a message saying,
what's your phone number?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
I have a friend I want to set you up
with or something.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Did I tell you that some guy did that to me?
Kind of when I was on the dating apps.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
I kind of hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Oh what happened? Well, it wasn't that. It was not
the scenario that your friend is saying. It is a
guy matched with me and he's really cute, and he
was like, Hey, not to be rude, but I'm really
interested in your friend in your second picture.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Oh yeah, that's that's.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Rough, and I think I've blocked him. But in hindsight,
it was my my friend Torri. Was she single? No,
I'm not at the time. Okay, she's not now, but
I I think I showed. I'm pretty sure I showed
it to her, and I don't. I also think she
wasn't interested, but I also think it's because she was
(20:35):
kind of dating somebody. But it did hurt my it
was it shouldn't hurt. I mean, I guess it's okay
to hurt my feelings. Feelings are valid, all of that.
But I was like, oh, dang it, that's bold. I
would never be like, oh, I'm not attracted to you,
but your friend is really cute, you know, so I
can see how that would mean. Beware, when you put
(20:57):
attractive people in your dating that profile, they might, you know,
get attention.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I tried not to put other people because I didn't
want it to be confusing. I don't like when they
have groups of people and you can't tell who's who.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Well, this is my advice. If you do decided dabble
is a group photo. One is good because it shows
it can show you like with community, or it can
show you doing something like.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
I'm not a loser, like I have friends.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I yeah, because also you don't you don't want all
your pictures to be like selfies or individual shots, because
then it's like, why does she have so many of them.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Oh, I would just like crop myself.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Okay, I like being able to see people doing It's
not just like what you look like, it's also what
does your life kind of look like? Got it? That
makes sense?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
This is all.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Information I would share with people if I ever start
my dating service.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
That's right, because you may start helping people date, but
you'd be a little matchmaker maybe Okay, the Golden Girls thing.
Who knows if that's gonna actually happen. But we all
do have girlfriends, and there are questions that you can
ask your girlfriends. And this is something that I saw
(22:11):
on Instagram from Lindsay Vanettin. It's her account and I
loved it, so I pulled it. But she has or
she recommends a yearly what the hell are we doing
with our lives?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Girls dinners? Girls dinner?
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I guess, yeah, yeah, yearly, what the hell are we
doing with our lives?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Girls dinner?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
It's hard to say. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
And once a year gathers close friends and they ask
these specific questions to each other to figure out what
the heck they have going on. So the questions that
you can ask if you want to do this, everyone
has to put their phones away by the way, So.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
It's like an intimate, it's an intentional intimate.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
What the heck are we doing with our lives? Dinner?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
First question?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
What do you want more of in your life right now?
What are you currently tolerating that you know needs to change?
What do you keep saying you'll do but haven't.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Starting that matchmaking service?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
What do you actually want the next year of your
life to look like? And then finally the last question,
what would you go after if you knew every woman
here had your back?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
That is a good one. I love that question. Okay,
I kind of want to answer some of these. Can
we have a girl dinner?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Han me your phone.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I'll know where it is somewhere, don't I ivead? Okay,
So the first one was what do you want more
of in your life right now? Uh? Maybe some alone time? Wow?
From you? Shoot? Do I want that? You must? You're
(24:03):
saying it? I think I'm coming out right now? WHOA,
you're slits.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
You're like you love being around people?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
No, I'm well, I'm more thinking like alone time. I
don't wanted to be away from Patrick, but I feel
like I would like more. I don't do things alone anymore,
like ever since I got married, and before that, like
I used to be very independent, I had to be,
and now I don't like doing anything by myself. So
(24:32):
I think I want to challenge myself to do more
things alone, but I might not like it, and I
have I request the right to change my mind about that. Yeah,
you have that. Do you know what you would want?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I think I need a little bit more opposite. Yeah,
I need less alone time and more spontaneity. Maybe, Oh,
that would be good for you with a guy.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That you didn't be on the hinge? Right? Uh? And
then what are you currently tolerting that it needs to change?
I think that's probably more about stuff that I'm doing
than other people, like behaviors that I am just like ignoring,
like procrastinating or worrying, which I do have a weight
(25:22):
to worry moment. We talked about that segment.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Let's get into Yeah, we'll do am in a segment.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
We're interrupting this girl dinner for a weight to worry segment.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
It's a small one, but since we just talked about it,
I thought we should bring it up so then more
people can remember to send us their weight to worry moments.
But the other day I was getting out of my
car and I dropped a fork from lunch underneath my car.
So I had a bunch of stuff in my hands.
I had to bend down to get it, and seven
(25:53):
and a half months pregnant, and so when I bent,
I just felt like I squish.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Oh my gosh, wait, are you gonna tell us you
thought that you killed your baby again?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I mean, first I Electroci did it, and now you've
squished it.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Why would she think?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
That's what where this is going? Okay, go ahead, I
don't care. Are you laughing or crying? I'm laughing. I'm
crying from laughing. I'm not like sad. No, no, you
never know. Yeah, this is a wait to worry moment.
So this is has a good ending.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
So anyway that happened, I was like, oh, I shouldn't
have done that because it was like I was down
under the car, you know, and I can barely tie
my shoes these days. So anyway, I go carry on,
I act normal, and then I can't sleep that night,
to the point at about three point thirty four, I
google if I bend over too far, can I squish
(26:55):
my baby? And Google said no, that there's enough like
fluid and stuff that she's fine. But also you can't
trust Google all the time. And the reason again I
was really worried is she's very active at night. Like
last night, I couldn't sleep because she was very active.
She was not being active. So I luckily had a
(27:19):
doctor's appointment that morning and I did bring it up.
They said, did you have any questions? And I said, okay,
can I harm the baby by bending over and getting
things out from under my car? And she I did
bring her joy I think that day and she said, no,
you're fine, and then we listened to the heartbeat. So
everything was fine. And I should have waited to worry, right,
(27:42):
So just anybody who's pregnant, you can bend and squish. Yeah,
But I'm like, maybe she's fine, but like, is it
uncomfortable for her too, because I also don't want to
hurt her. Yeah, she's like, oh, what's happening? Yeah, Like
I didn't like that. Like sometimes when I'm turning in
the night like to get comfortable, I'm like, I hope
that she's not bothered by this. Then I'm like, you're
(28:03):
bothering me, right, Yeah, so there we go.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Okay, wait to worry. Wait to worry, you have nothing
to worry about. She was fine, Yeah, okay, what do
you keep saying that you'll do but you haven't? What
do you keep saying that you'll do but you haven't?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Well that goes to the question I just answered if like,
that's what I you mean, stop worrying? No, the what
do you cook currently currently tolerating that you know needs
a change, And it's I'm tolerating my own procrastination.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Oh I thought you also said to your some of
your anxiety. Oh yeah, I would like, because like you're worried.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah, both of those things. What do I keep saying
that I'll do but I haven't done?
Speaker 4 (28:57):
I have that invention that I want to make really bad?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Which one though?
Speaker 4 (29:02):
The for the head?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
That one? I know.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I have a few ideas that come to me and
it's just finding the time.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
And then I say to myself, well, I guess I
don't want it bad enough because other people stay up
all night building their dreams and I'm going to bed.
So do I not want it as much as the
person that's staying up all night?
Speaker 1 (29:27):
It doesn't really excite you that much? Maybe not?
Speaker 4 (29:30):
So maybe we're just not there yet.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Maybe it will one day, but right now I'd rather
take my shower and go to bed. But one thing
I do procrastinate a lot is getting in the shower.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Which blows my mind because I love love.
Speaker 4 (29:46):
I love taking a shower too. Once I get in,
I don't want to get out.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
But like I struggle.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
It's because it's not just like, oh, go take a shower.
It's like, Okay, I gotta go do my wipes to
because I double cleanse on my face, but I don't
with soap. I do that water my cellular water. So
I have to step one of my shower is I
do that on my face, my neck, and my chest
because I've got sunscreen on all of that.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
And so that's ZEP one.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Two.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
Turn on the shower to put on my shower cap.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Get in the shower, do my glycolic acid body wash
with my African rag scrub thing.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Just gotten my skin really smooth.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Let me tell you the combo for rough skin, Like
I had some bumps under my arms and bumps on
the side of my legs. Glycolic acid body wash with
one of those African cloths.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Just google it. So what if you didn't have to
take everything shower every time you shower.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's not everything though, that's not everything shower and everything
shower is shampoo, conditioner, shaving.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
This is just body wash, okay, well and your face
and then turn it on. The shower was a step
for you.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
It's a step.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
We have to wait for it to get the right temperature.
Then I do my I normally brush my teeth in
the shower. That's probably one of the more of the
first things.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
That I do is that weird. Do you have tooth toothbrushes? No,
I just take it with me. I would forget it
and then I would be annoyed.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
But it's right there.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
It's your shower. Really far when you have to like
get out of the show. Like sometimes I forget my
face washed, so I got two face washes. You do
have the shower and then you drip water everywhere.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I have a window ledge that sometimes I'll lay it
on the ledge and that's reachable without from any point
of the Like if I was putting it where my
shampoo and stuff is, that would be a little bit
around the corner to the window ledge. That does me
a solid.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
So brushing my teeth then then you get out of
the shower and you have to pat dry. Then you
have to start your lotion routine and your fit what
you don't have to yes, I do?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Okay, Well have you seen.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
My dry skin?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Well?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Absolutely, forty five year old me is mad at thirty
year old me.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
So I should be doing that every time. But I
guess my thought is maybe if that overwhelms you sometimes
so you don't want to do it. Sometimes you just
are like, well I don't have to do every step.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
No, all of the steps I just named you must
be done, okay, forget that, Like that's not gonna be
Why would I? Even then my brain is like, why
would I If you're not going to do it right?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Why would I? Why would I get a shower right,
don't do it all? Why would I go back to.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
The way I used to be where I would get
out of the shower and not put lotion on.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yep, I used to do that. Well I think I
do that, I know. But see, this is the thing.
You're not in your forties yet.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
You think your you think your skin's like which your
skin is different than mine already, Like you already have
more olive like plump, juicy good skin.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Mine's not. Mine's creepy thin.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
And and then if it's a self candy, oh gosh
ay yeah yeah, Okay, so you're gonna are you gonna
take more showers right now?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I still do it.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
I'm just saying that's the thing I procrastinate.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
And if I didn't procrastinate, then I would be my
shower would already be done.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
But instead I'll sit in my room and like put
other things away or wait till, like, say, I go
up to my room at nine pm to shower and
then get in bed.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Well it'll be nine.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Thirty because I don't want to go do all those steps.
I'll find other things to do. Yeah, and then that's
just like what I could already be done.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Okay, Well I'm gonna hold you to do this. You
gonna like my shower routine? Huh, No, I do. I
was trying to be helpful.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
You know what I saw some girls do.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
They were probably having a little girl dinner or get together,
and they all film themselves.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
They were fully clothed.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
This popped up on my This is probably what I
was watching on Instagram as I was procrastinating taking a shower.
But they all demonstrate how they towel off when they
get out of the shower, and so they had a towel.
Again they're clothed, but it was like, Okay, here's the towel.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (34:09):
And they each have a different routine.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Like some girls start with their arms, others start with
drawing off their legs, others like drape it around this way,
and how they do their hair towel, Like everybody had
a different method.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Do you dry off before you get out?
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Well, I have to get out to get my towel
and then sometimes I'll step back in. But you know
how my shower, I don't have a shower door. I
just have a glass that.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
Kind of just has an opening.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah. So'm I had a roommate in college. I love her.
She's a wonderful person. But we always would laugh because
she would get out of the shower every single time,
completely soaking wet, and then go like find her towel.
I mean, we had like an inch of water on
our floor every time she got out the show. But
(35:00):
she just like she couldn't change her behavior no matter
how many times we were like laughing about and sometimes
it was annoying, but mostly it was just funny, but
she just couldn't get like, I'm like what, but but
you could just do it in there. You could just
take the towel and then you don't get cold. It's
not what she wanted anyway.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Well, before we move off our shower body talk, I
will say another thing that I've been putting on my
skin with the lotion that I'm putting on at night
is a has retinol in it. And I think I
got what's that brand, like Martha's Choice or Mary's Choice
or you know, I don't know Cindy's Choice. It's like
(35:39):
a good girl's name and a choice. I think you
can get it at Target. I think I ordered on Amazon.
I've liked it, but I'm running out a lot faster,
Like the bottle wasn't as big as I thought. So
I saw a dermatologist pop up on my feet and
said that the gold Bond one was really good with retinol.
Maybe Survey has one, so I'm gonna do some shopping
(36:01):
for that. But that's what I've been putting on and
my skin is between the glycolic acid body wash and
the African scrubber thing and the retinal lotion. My skin
is getting smoother, and I've been consistent and when you
see results, you don't want to quit. So that's why
I'm not gonna give my routine.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
That's okay. I was just trying to help you. But
if you if it's working for you, that's fine. I
just had a thought, would this be weird if you
sent me your shower routine and I put it in
the newsletter with the products.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
That you use.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Sure? I think that's hard for people to hear that
and remember.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
So if you, yeah, I'll send it to you and
put it in the newsletter.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Because it has helped my bumps.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, I will say.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
It's like the bumps were there, and I was like,
is this even working?
Speaker 4 (36:48):
Is this even working?
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Like, oh, I still feel the bumps, And then one
day you're just like this is working.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah I don't feel the bumps.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
So you got to give it a minute.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
But just stay the course, the core and ill everything
that I started to do.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
It was a.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
From repetition of seeing different dermatologists.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
In my feed and not just one multiple saying this
type of body wash, this type of lotion, and not
just one particular brand, just the ingredients that are in.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
XYZ body washing xyz lotion. So that's why I'm also
kind of sampling, like, Okay, I tried this round, and
next round, I'll go buy a different brand to see
if it lasts me longer or the price point. And
that's what I love too about.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Some of these dermatologists that I'm following, is they're like, guys,
this is like drugstore stuff, Like you can find this
anything crazy. You don't need to be spending a ton
of money. Like if this is your problem, this is
your solution. And I'm like, okay, thank you, Well send
me that because that could be riveting stuff, I know, and.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Then it's going to make more people sign up for
our newsletter. Yes, you can do that by going to
the link in our show notes.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
Okay, yeah, this show that you're listening to right now, Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Okay, Well, what do you actually want the next year
of your life to look like? That is a I
don't know if I'm prepared for that one, but I
want it to.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Look like, yeah, a baby, you're gonna have a baby.
Yours is gonna be full of all kinds of new things.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
But I want it to look still full and full
in a different way because we are getting closer. And
what I always thought about people who were pregnant, as
I always was like, I bet they just like want
that baby to stay in there because like as soon
as it comes out, like their life is just completely changed.
And kind of like sometimes I would be like, my
(38:37):
life's kind of over like as they know it, which
it is. But now I'm pregnant, and I'm like, I
can't wait for this baby to come out, actually, and
I want because our life will be different. We won't
be traveling as much, we won't be able to just
go out and do things when like because I'm older
having my first child, I think myself is older having
(38:58):
my first child. I'm thirty six. I think it might
be a little harder for me to adjust because I've
lived so much of my adult life doing whatever I want,
whenever I want it. So I hope my life still
looks full, but just in a different way, you know.
And it will.
Speaker 4 (39:18):
And I'm excited for her to come out.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I want to meet her, and it makes me to
you know, I've always wanted one inside of me, and
I don't know that I'll ever get that, and that's fine,
but it does make me like I have no idea
what it feels like to like, I feel like you
squashed a baby.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
You know, Yeah, it feels really weird. I asked Patrick
if he would give birth if he was able to,
and what do you say? He said he would be
interested in feeling what it's like for a day, but
he doesn't want to do.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
It, right, cool.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I think for the next year of my life, just
have more parties.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
What kind of party?
Speaker 4 (39:58):
I don't know, like a barbecue.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
It's really deep question at our girl dinner and it's like,
what do you want the next year of your life
to look like? And Amy's like, I'm just like really
wanting to have more barbecues.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Yeah, like have people oh for have I ever had
a barbecue?
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Well when I was married, right, But that's what I think.
And I was talking to another friend about this just
this week about if is it is it because I
don't have a partner, or is it because I want
to do some work in my yard and change some
things to make my backyard a little more inviting and
like things to do, like to where you want to
(40:42):
sit out.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
There and gather and barbecue?
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Yeah, party friendly?
Speaker 1 (40:49):
And I.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
And is it is it that my I don't feel
like my backyard welcomes that.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Or is it that I don't have a partner that
helps with putting on something like that, because I had
people over a lot when we lived in North Carolina.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
When we lived in East Nashville.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
It probably changed once, like after COVID just things ever
got back to kind of that.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
But we would host all kinds.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
We would have people over.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
It would be even last minute and we'd have thirty
people at our house and he would grill and everybody
would just bring aside. I would make a big thing
a kso and everybody would like, come over.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Okay, I'm down for I would love for you to
have more parties, although I am trying to have more
alone time, so I might not come.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
You'll come and you bring the baby, I'll come.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
You're good, okay, But you've had a couple of small
gatherings half I.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
A baby shower is different. That's like a planned function.
I'm talking about a spontaneous like Saturday.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
Hey, let's all.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Hang okay, Okay, yeah, it's a no reason party.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
I want you to have these and you could be
like I'm having a barbecue invite whoever, guess who might show.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Up a friend of a friend of a friend who's single.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Yeah, yes, yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
So the final question at the what the hell are
we doing with our lives? Girl, Girl's dinner? What would
you go after if you knew every woman here had
your back? My invention? You think I'm just kidding, but
if everybody, if everybody had my back and they want
(42:47):
to help me sell it and sell it.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Maybe then maybe it would be I thought of that
question differently. I thought of like what confrontation would I have?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
How versus like half your back and like a big
bold movie, what would I do?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (43:05):
I was seeing like a career move, Like I've been
working on my keynote, Like am I going to finally
like try to go out there?
Speaker 4 (43:11):
If I know I've got like you and we.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
Would all support you and go and like yes, have
a sign. Mm hmm okay, well maybe that is that
what you want to go with your keynote. You're gonna
do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
What would you go after if every woman here had
your back? I mean, I'm gonna do that anyway. So
I guess that's not a fair because like I am going,
So it's more of challenging yourself of what are you
not doing that you've always wanted to do?
Speaker 1 (43:34):
But if you had support, you would do it. Yeah,
this is kind of hard because I do feel like
I have support.
Speaker 4 (43:40):
So who do you need to confront?
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Like, we got your back? What's up? I don't think
I I have some. But that's just where my brain
went when they said, like, have your back.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I know, but that makes me think there is someone
in your brain that you're looking to like confront.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Well, you know, there's a lot of people I would confront,
but it's not worth it. Okay, you know there's a
lot of things in my head that I keep there
because there wouldn't be Maybe I need to confront the
girl that cut my hair lopsided twenty years ago. I
think you can let that one go.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
I am shocked that you didn't ask her how long
she was going to be gone.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
I think I just thought she was going to a party,
and I was like, you have a baby, so surely
you won't be there that long.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
So like, how did you? I mean, yeah, like what
did the baby go to bed?
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I remember this is so long ago. I remember trying
to put because she brought out like a pack and
play he wouldn't sleep or exlept for like ten minutes.
Then I remember him me like holding him on my chest.
And then I remember going down to my parents' room
being like mom, because that was at my parents over
Christmas break and I was like, Mom, the baby won't
go to sleep. It's crying. And she was like, that's
what babies do, and so I went back upstairs. I
(44:52):
think I probably cried. I didn't know how to soothe
the baby. I was probably I probably was nineteen years old. Yeah,
hopefully we'll do better. Yeah, you'll do better. You'll figure out.
So I don't know what I would do if I
if every woman had my back, Maybe I would do
something crazy like I would start the date, the dating
(45:15):
the map. But I kind of want to work less,
so that's also what my I want my This goes
back to another question, like I want my life to
look different, like full in a different way. I've been
slowly changing the way that I work and being okay
with filling my life up with other things other than
just working.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
Because you were working so much for so long.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Yeah, I before I knew we actually was probably when
I first met you.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I was.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
When did I meet you?
Speaker 4 (45:40):
At twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Okay, so it was right before then when I was
I was, I was pre COVID though, yes, okay, yeah,
I was teaching then. This was that I was teaching
ten to twelve cycling classes a week, plus, I was
seeing twenty to thirty clients a week plus, I was
doing group therapy, plus I was streating a podcast like
I sometimes would work from five thirty to eight or nine.
(46:05):
But it felt fulfilling to me, like I didn't. I
didn't dread it like I was busy, but it felt
really fulfilling. But slowly, as my life has shifted, other
things are filling me up. And so I'm moving some
things out of the way. Yeah, you're full.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Looks different and which, Yeah, you are making some shifts
and work. Which I speaking of you being a therapist,
I have questions that don't come up. Yes, do you
ever lie about what you do to avoid having to
use your profession? Like say someone sits down next to
you on an airplane and it's a long flight and
they may end up wanting therapy advice if they're like, hey,
(46:44):
what do you do and you're like, I'm a therapist.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Yeah, do you ever just say oh, I work in.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Mental health. I work with people.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
I work with people, So you could say there was
a point in your life you could be like, I'm
miss an instructor and leave it upon.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
Yes. Yeah, so I was gonna say, first of all,
I hope I'm an airplane. Nobody does that, especially a
long flight. You mean I do not like talking to
people on an airplane.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
You mean ask you what you do or would ask
you for advice, but learning what you do?
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Okay, Oh for sure both. I think I have learned
to be careful. Yeah, how I say what I do?
I stopped when I was on the dating apps. I
took it off my profile. I said I was a
business owner, and then if I went on a date
with them, then I would probably tell them like Patrick
had no idea what I did before we met.
Speaker 4 (47:37):
Okay, so why did you have to do that?
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Because I feel like it would either deter people or
it would attract people just because of my job, and
I was getting I was how do I say this?
I feel like there was a lot of instability in
some of the people I was going on dates with,
and I felt very often that they just needed to talk.
(48:01):
Like one date, one of the last two of the
worst dates I've ever been on were the two dates
before I met Patrick. They're on the same weekend. I
was really going for it, and the first one a
very nice guy, and I got his beginning birth to
(48:25):
where he was that day, detail of his life, his
mental health journey, the treatment he has gone through, the
therapy he has done, the people he has had in
and out of his life, all everything. What do you
think he knew about me? Nothing? Not a thing. So
when this man went to the bathroom, I got the
(48:46):
check and paid for it and I gotta go. Oh,
I said it nicely.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
He also he came back from the bathroom and you
were like, Bill's pay Yeah, I'm leaving.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
He said get back for the bathroom and I was like, oh,
I paid it, and he was like, oh my gosh,
you didn't have to do that. And I was like, oh,
I don't mind. But I was like, we will be
here forever if he's going to pay this bill. And
we went and had like a full meal. So, I mean,
I honestly was like, I don't care. I will pay
for this to get out. I have a lot of
compassion for him because he has a like tough story,
(49:16):
and I was on a date. Like I was on
a date, I wanted something to be interested in me,
and I think he was interested in what it felt like.
He was interested in what I could do for him. Okay,
got it. The next day I had gone a date
with a guy who was also in the same well
I'll say this. He was studying to be a therapist.
(49:39):
So I had never I've never wanted to date a
therapist because I feel like that's like a lot, Yeah,
to date a therapist. Yes, and I'm a therapist. I
just feel like it's a lot like.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Some people might think that about me, you know, Yes,
which also is.
Speaker 1 (49:54):
Why I took it off, because I'm like, I think
some people, before they get to know me, they have
this preconceived idea of what I'm going to be like.
So I go on the state with this guy and
it lasts maybe thirty five minutes. It was probably one of.
Speaker 4 (50:09):
The shortest dates I've ever been thirty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
Is that a record for me? Yes, because usually I
feel kind of guilty leaving that early, so I'm like,
I'll drag it on. But he had he he was
previously married. Again, This is another situation where he knew
nothing about me after we left this date, but I
(50:32):
knew very intimate details about his life, including why he
got divorced. I don't even know if I can say it.
Speaker 4 (50:41):
Well, why wait, it's not hippa, I know.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
But it's my it's a little inappropriate, okay with little ears?
Oh what so so you' me to whisper it?
Speaker 2 (50:50):
Well, let me see give it to me in code
and then i'll see how how could you tell me
as your friend?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
I'll just say it and if we need to edit
it out, we can. Okay, he had I want to
do it. This is a game. Okay, this is a game.
He what you tell me in the most he?
Speaker 4 (51:07):
Okay, he walked in?
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Oh he.
Speaker 4 (51:17):
He he he's a cross dresser.
Speaker 3 (51:22):
Wait did he.
Speaker 4 (51:27):
He walked in on his wife?
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Uh huh he walked in on his wife having a
relationship with somebody else?
Speaker 1 (51:35):
Oh another woman? Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (51:38):
So he multiple people? Oh a wow?
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Okay, so that was really good.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (51:48):
Well, I mean, once I got past that, you weren't
trying to do that he was like cross dressing.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
I would have been fine.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Honestly, It's like I so he that was his extreme variance?
Was he was married and then walked down on his
wife in a situation with multiple people.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Which is fine, I mean not fine, but like that's
not his fault. And this was in the he told
me this within the Our date was thirty five minutes,
so I was just curious, why is this the beginning
of our date? Right? But how does it end in
thirty five minutes? So we went to a brewery and
(52:29):
I don't like beer.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Iyall in through a drive throughout, but also we sat.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
We sat at the bar, and I hate on first
dates sitting at the bar when they're small bars, because
then the bartenders can hear you, you know, yeah, they
like they're like they're on a first date. And I
could only imagine what these bartenders were thinking because I'm
sitting there being like, oh, that's that must have been
really hard. I think what it was. It's not that
(52:58):
like that happened to him and he's shared that with me.
It's that I don't know you yet to know these
intimate details of your life. But because I'm a therapist,
my assumption is they think that I'm okay with it,
but I want to be treated like anybody else where.
You're like, tell me about where you grew up or
literally what do you do for a living like, and
then I could say I'm a spin instructor and we
(53:20):
could talk about that. So I think that's what really
bothered me about those situations and this guy. We were
not a fit. So how did it end? I think
we had. I drank a beer, which I wouldn't normally do,
and then I think I said like, okay, well we
can get the check because I wasn't going to have
another one. I think the bartender asked you one another
(53:42):
and I was like, no, we'll take the check, and
then we left. I don't think he was having a
good time either. Okay, So I mean we never talked
again after that. But also can you imagine this is
also my thought is like, and maybe I'm just a
little slower to open up, but can you imagine going on?
I mean, he's dating on the dating apps, he's going
on multiple dates. Do you share this with everybody and
(54:05):
then you just never talk to them again? That is
interesting to me. Yeah, So I hope he's found love.
I don't think he was a bad guy. I just
did this.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
It's a little cringe that he offered that up, like
right away.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Versus trying to know anything about me. So yes, I
do not tell people, and I think towards the end
of dating, I would start with that I teach fitness
classes versus I'm a therapist.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Therapist.
Speaker 4 (54:38):
Okay, that was a long.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
Way way to answer that question. I feel like you
should answer that too, because.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
You know, because no one's gonna ask me for I
was thinking the question doesn't come up because you on
an airplane, Like I see that for like doctors, therapists,
like financial advisors, like who can you sit next to
that you can soak all this wisdom up from on
a two hour flight? Yeah, and then get for like
free advice, like oh if you learn you're sitting next
(55:03):
to your doctor, you're like, oh man, so I have
this like rash on my leg and then you start showing.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
And they're like, okay, well I will say this because
I don't want it to come off this way for
people in my life, like I don't mind them being
like I want to pick your brain.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
Yeah. Like for example, yesterday I said I was sharing
something that you where I felt sad, and you listened
as a friend, and then you get you texted me
a response that was really helpful, and there was a
normal person probably wouldn't say no.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
I think a normal person could.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
But I think it was your therapy background coming in
because you were reminding me that feeling sad is good
and it's giving me information. Yeah, and so it's okay
to feel sad and to take the information that I'm
getting from the feeling. And you wrote a little bit
more and that I'm not going to disclose all of
the details. It just was very helpful. But I do
(56:00):
think it was like therapy side of you. Like if
I was sitting in a session with you as a
paying client, I think I would say said, well, this
happened to me and I'm feeling sad, and you would
have given a similar response. I do think any friend
could have said that if therapy is not their job,
but you delivered it in a way that's like, oh, yeah,
you helped me through that moment and I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
But I wasn't using you for that because you also
that's not like what our friendship is based off of. Yeah,
And if somebody like needed if somebody in my life
or my family had like a crisis and needed help
figuring something out that I could help, I would want
to help them with that. I wouldn't be like, oh,
you just started calling me some a therapist, and yeah,
(56:41):
they would they are calling me because I'm a therapist.
But also, this is what people do for each other.
It's just when you, yeah, when you don't know them specifically.
For me, it's more so not if the guy on
the airplane's going to be like, oh, well, so me
and my wife have been fighting about blah blah blah.
It's it was more so I don't want people to
attack to me for that that person I would never
(57:04):
see again, so it'd be annoying. But whatever versus you
only want to be my friend because you can get
something out of me. But that could be for anybody
who has any job, like you were saying for you too,
Like somebody's like, oh, you're on the radio, you want
to hear my song? I'd like, well, I'm.
Speaker 2 (57:26):
I mean, I always struggle with what to say. I mean,
I don't, I don't, I don't. Sometimes I just say like,
I'm in media, like I don't, I don't.
Speaker 4 (57:33):
Ever what weird? Sometimes I say, yeah, I work in radio. Yeah,
I work in media.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Oh and if they ask more questions, then I can
give more answers, but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (57:44):
Like, do mey send you a link to my show? Yeah,
so it's like that. It's like that, and it's like this.
Is that a song? It's like this and like that
and like this, Sena, who is that?
Speaker 2 (57:58):
Who is that? I don't know?
Speaker 1 (57:59):
That's how in my it's like this and like that
and you don't know that's huh. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (58:06):
Just sometimes you know, when you have a saying and
then a song pops into your head, it's like this
and like that, like this, n A, is that cringe?
Speaker 1 (58:15):
Because I will?
Speaker 2 (58:16):
I can close with six rules to avoid being cringe.
Speaker 1 (58:20):
We need those.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
Just make sure anybody that's listening to the podcast you
don't do any of these six things, because our listeners
are not cringe and neither are we, so we have
to avoid these as well. One use the speakerphone in public.
Two comment on someone else's weight gain or weight loss.
Three call someone more than twice in a row.
Speaker 1 (58:39):
Well, well there, we need to get a hold of somebody.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Four show up uninvited or without notice. I mean, I
don't mind a little poppin. Five get on the elevator
before allowing people.
Speaker 1 (58:52):
To get off. First, that's actually cringeing.
Speaker 2 (58:56):
Six scroll through someone's photos if they hand you their phone,
why would you do that?
Speaker 4 (59:02):
I don't know, that's cringe.
Speaker 2 (59:04):
Do you know the story of one time where Stevenson
was handed a guy was doing work at my house
and listened to the show and then wanted a picture
with me. So the only other person at my house
was Stevenson to take the picture. And Stevenson got his
phone and Stevenson didn't click on his photos. It like
just went to the guy's photos and then Stevenson's like,
(59:26):
it's not on the camera, It's all on the camera.
Speaker 1 (59:29):
And then when.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
He left, because Stevenson saw photos he had taken of himself,
like in his photo lug where he was like and
we were like it was so embarrassing. I didn't I mean,
it was not that long ago. This was a long
time ago, but he was an adult. Who who held
was who the man or Stevenson? He was maybe ten
(59:54):
or eleven, and this was like handles Like, I didn't
say anything.
Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
I didn't know when after where he left and Stevenson
was like, this is.
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
What well, I mean I went over and was trying
to help him, so I don't even know if Stevenson noticed,
like for sure, for sure, like these are what those
kinds of pictures are? Oh you saw it, well, we
saw it, but I don't think Steve, I mean Stevenson
was laughing. I don't think he registered that. Like maybe
this man took those for his his his you know,
(01:00:32):
or his girlfriend or his wife.
Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
But there's like a mirror a sheet.
Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
That's critch Okay, So there you go.
Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
That's what's all. That's a good way to end.
Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
We got saw, she wrote. You can hit us up
hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. You can
send in your thoughts, emails, questions, stories for couch talks
for sure, and then you can also call and leave
us a voice out eight seven seven two o seven
two o seven seven and.
Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
Thanks for listening. We hope you have the day you
need to.
Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Bye bye bye
Oh too good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Just falls Amy and Cat got your cob and locking
the brob me the lady's and pelts. You just follow
an the spirit where it's.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
All the front.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
And real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the end.
But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It jes stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Amy and Cat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and my feeling the day
is eager, eager. Yeah, I have a haircut coming up
or a hair appointment. Well, I will be getting my
haircut but also colored, and I have not This going
lighter in my hair was my decision. I fully asked
for it last time I went, and we brought the
(00:51):
lightness up to my root a little bit higher and
more of it and no bad idea.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
That's on me. I even texted my hair person, I'm
hating my hair. It's on me.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I take full responsibility. But the eagerness and the excitement
around it is. My appointment was originally further out, but
she had a cancelation, so she's getting me in about
eight days, sooner than I would have, and I I'm
ready for that.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You're not. You're not doing what now? I'm not going
to chop my hair? Okay, well what I know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Not gonna do bangs.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I don't think I'm not gonna do I'm not doing
anything drastic other than going.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Darker the color that you're used to.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, I mean, I've always had highlights, but I think
I'm gonna try something a little bit darker. Since we're summers,
we're rounding into getting close dark months, so I may
try to do something darker. But I'm very eager, and
I hope I don't hate it, and I hope, like
a few weeks from now, I'm not texting her up
my dad. I take all the resincely my responsibil I
(01:56):
take all the responsibility. I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
But have you.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Had the experience where it's not your fault and it's
really bad m.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And you have to like, well, remember last summer when
I was given money pieces?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, and I.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Didn't ask for them.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Okay, but would you did say some blonde stripes. I
did go back and she put toner on them to
tone them down because they were just it was a
little too much for me, even though it was very
much in style. We're speaking of stuff that's in style.
Kat and I were talking before we were recording, and
I was like, my jeans are just so high up.
They're like when I sit down, they come up, and
Kat goes, that's okay, that's what's in style. I was like,
(02:36):
I really don't think it's in style because I think
mid to low rise technically that's what's in style. But
we have now hit an age where what is in
style is what we feel good in. And I feel
better in a high rise. So that's that's what works
for me. And so what money pieces, I don't need
(02:57):
money pieces might be in style, I don't need them.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
They do not work for me. Well, I was just
asking that this, like are you the kind of person
that says something? Or are you the kind of person?
I was like, I love it, And then you go
home and you just like look in the mirror and
you cry. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I guess I haven't been in that situation an awful lot,
But I in my experience like, if you say something,
they'll help tweak it. Like I went in, She's like, oh,
let me put some toner on the money pieces, it'll
calm them down.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, well, what about you. I haven't had an experience
where somebody who has done my like I've gone and
paid for it to get done and it was really bad.
But I did let a friend cut my hair.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
As an adult.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Have I not told you this? I don't know, were
you a child or an adult? I was okay, I
was in college and I was poor and I had
no money, and a girl that I went to high
school with posted on her Facebook like, Hey, I'm in
hair school. I'm trying to get.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Some like hours, portfolio hours.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I don't know. If you watch my baby, I'll cut
your hair.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh yeah, you have told me this now that you
bring in the baby part the barter system she had
going on.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, And so I did it. I thought I was
to watch her baby for like two hours, and I
also didn't know how to watch a baby either. So
she cut my hair in my bathroom. It was completely
crooked like this, which I mean she was new. But
then I watched her baby and she didn't come back
(04:25):
till like between I feel like one and three in
the morning. I thought she was going to come back
at like nine. So look what I do again? Now yeah,
and then I had to go pay, so I did
that for it to be free. Then I had to
go pay to get my actual hair girl to cut
my hair, and she was like, Catherine, why did you
do that? And I was like, because I don't have
(04:46):
any money and she was like, well, you're now spending
it and she fixed it.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, that's quite the story.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
But I definitely didn't tell the person that cut it
that it was.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Crooked, right, because you just didn't want to deal with that. Yeah,
you're at DOT, you don't have to babysit again. And
the whole thing was just awkward. If you don't speak
up on that sort of thing. Is that people pleasing behavior,
Like we are paying for a service. So if we
tend to keep quiet but we don't like something, because
there's obviously a kind way to go about it, but
(05:17):
you're still having to go outside of your comfort zone
and speak up and say, oh, you know, these money
pieces are a little bright for me, I don't I Internally,
I was like, I didn't ask for them.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
I don't even know what they are. But then I
learned at work.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I went to the Bobby Bone Show and Bobby was like, oh,
you're the front of your hair's a real bright and
then Morgan, who used to be on our show, she said, oh,
those are money pieces. They're a thing, And sure enough
I looked up online and money pieces were trending and
I was like, but I didn't ask for it, So
I had to step outside of my comfort zone because
I don't like, yeah, having to do that at all.
(05:56):
But there are some people where that would paralyze them
because they don't want to deal with any type of.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Confrontation like that, which is like you're that's the discomfort,
Like you don't want to make them uncomfortable, but what's
happening is you're uncomfortable and you paid for it. So
somebody has to be uncomfortable. And also that's their job,
so I would I would be uncomfortable doing that too.
I'm with those kind of people would be hard for me,
(06:23):
but that's their job, so I think that they also
know that that's like part of what kinds of the territory.
Have you ever complained about a massage?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
No, okay, like to the person or like a like
a I think it, you know, discreetly through a like
a comment card either.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Okay, so you've done one of them. No, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I just was imagining how would you tell someone in
person like this was a horrible massage.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I've had really bad experiences, but I just go talk
about them on the radio.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Already here, so yeah, So I mean, I don't say
who they are, but.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
This will like five maybe longer. Five years ago and
I went to a resort SPA. We were at a
resort on vacation with my mom and my sister. We
went to go get massages and we were sitting in
like the steam room or something. Everybody had their clothes
on it, and the people in there, there's two people
in there started talking to us and they were like, oh,
(07:20):
is this is your first time here. We're like yeah,
and they're like, we were here yesterday and we got
deep tissue massages. But they didn't even make us sore
this morning. So we complained and we got a free massage.
Oh wow, which is great.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I what, but I mean, if you are asking for
deep tissue and you would get like to the touch,
I mean, I know that I have to be sore,
but if they didn't meet their expectation, and spa prices
or resorts spa prices can be really expensive, so they
probably were either that's their thing and they swindle, or
they just genuinely were wanting somebody didn't know they would
(07:56):
get a free massage, but they just wanted to share
their experience and they were like, Oh, we'll comp you
a massage.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
That's probably what happened. Yeah, dang, yeah, I'm going to start.
If that's any motivation to share your feelings about things
free stuff, I'm.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Starting that person.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I don't either. I don't either. Okay, so my feeling
of the day, I'm feeling very lucky, which technically isn't
a feeling. But I have watched two documentaries this week
Shipwrecked Have you seen it? Nope, They're both on Netflix.
I'm not going to say much about either of them
because I think they're both kind of new. Shipwrecked, which
(08:35):
is about a cruise ship wrecking, that's what it's about,
so I'm not getting anything away, and then a Toxic
Love Story, which is about a toxic love story.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I love when a title of a show is squat
on there's no guessing there.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
And the Shipwrecked one, I think I'm just like, oh,
I feel very lucky that I've only been on one
cruise and we May It to Land. That's a great documentary.
I do recommend it, but don't don't watch that if
you love to go on cruises.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Well, I just went on a cruise this year and
with the Bobby Bone Show, and we have another one
coming up next mort maybe don't watch it. Well, that's
I'll be fine, okay. I mean the odds of something
like that happening are very slim.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
They are, but not zero. So and then the other one,
I felt lucky because I, you know, did a lot
of online dating and I'm alive. I felt lucky because I,
(09:46):
you know, did a lot of online dating and I'm
alive and nobody stole all my money. And I mean
I had some bad dates, but I just had this
feeling of these kinds of things can happen to anybody.
How did I get saved?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You know? Well, again, I think it's few and far between,
but it is crazy that those stories are out there.
I was with my friend Mary Elizabeth last night and
she has hinge and she came over to borrow an
outfit and then we were talking about dates and guys
and she was like, oh, I just reactivated my hinge.
So because she hadn't logged in in a while. She
(10:26):
had some notifications like fifty to go through, like guys
that had sent her roses, And so she sat down
at my kitchen counter and we went through them. Out
of all fifty, all of them got exed. No, there
wasn't a single like, and we were trying to read
all about them, like there were some that were really cute,
(10:46):
and then they would have one of those voice memo
note thingies and then he would say.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
You know, like one guy was like, I'm a tin,
but the scale.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Is out of one hundred, you know, And I'm like,
is he trying to be self depreciated?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean he was cute, Why is he.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Saying he's out of a hundred? That's not That's not
funny though, and on and and that's what you choose
to leave is a voice memo on the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think the voice memo the voice was really freaks
me out. Those were newer still when I was on Hinde.
What I liked about them is you got to hear
their voice.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
So it's like, I just don't think that they always
say yes.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
They should they they should be taking I think the.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Only thing that works if you're a guy listening and
you're on hinge and you want to do that. But
I think the only thing that really would work for
me would be like testing testing. This voice thing is weird.
I just wanted to be able to hear my voice.
Oh that's nice, that's funny, Like okay, bye, you know
that's it. Don't try to say something clever.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
One guy was going on and on.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
About how he's like a fun fact I learned recently,
and I'm just fear of phrasing this because I don't
know how the math shakes out, and I'm sure this
is easy math for some of you, but he's like, gosh,
I'm embarrassed, Like I don't even want to make something
up because I'm gonna sound stupid.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
But he's like.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
A fun fact I recently learned was if you talk
to one person, and each of us all have a
thousand different encounters in our day, but you talk to
one person, you've got your thousand and they've got their thousand.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Then together you've talked to a million people.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And then when you talk to five people, you've talked.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
To five million.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
And then if those people talk to each other, you've
impacted a billion people.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I don't know how he.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Was saying it, but I was like, that doesn't it's
not how it works, like just because you have. It's
sort of reminding of like sex said in school, when
they would be like, if you sleep with this one
person and they've slept with five people, you've now slept
with five people, or like or like I mean which
is true, like diseases, right, which is the point of sex? Said,
(12:57):
I get it, it's not, but then it'll be like
I'm Matt then if it and if that one of
the five they slept with this slept with ten people,
now it's fifteen, you know, but it just felt like
a weird Yeah, I don't love that fun fact that
like didn't make sense, but he was wowed by it
and acting he was acting as if think about that.
(13:19):
We think that what we say to one person doesn't matter,
but that one thing you say about one person really
affects a billion people.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I think was he trying to be like introspective and
like kind of like.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And if that is some legit fun fact quote from
a really wise person, then ignore me.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You can still not like it.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I just didn't like it. Well, no, not someone's like
generally speaking a lot wiser than me, and they have
a lot of wise things to say, or it's some
brilliant quote from somewhere, like I don't want to bag
on it. I just don't think that's what he should
have put as his voice memo text as this like
really profound thing of like his impact on humanity.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Okay, was he cute? Was there other things about his
profile that? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
But to me, at that moment, we are done, I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I was like, you're tough. Well, it wasn't even my profile.
It's hurt.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
So it's easier to just be like, oh x x x.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I can't remember we looked at again fifty so I
can't tell you the other things said he had about him.
There are some guys I can tell you that had
the mirror selfies at the gym where and they are
flexing and they pull their shorts up and they flex
their legs. No automatic no no or automatic no for me,
(14:36):
I mean, I'm just the.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Reason I don't like that, Well, it's not my style.
But I also don't like that because in general, so
what what about all the pictures in your life that
you have, is that the one that you want to
put on there? Because you have to think about, like
what you get? What five four or five pictures? What
do I want these? What do I want the people
(14:59):
in my looking at my profile to see? And that's
what they want you to They want to you to
see their physical body specifically. It's fine to take a picture.
You can take a picture in a gym, you can
take a picture at a workout. You can take a
picture doing something athletic. That because that shows something about you.
So that's what I don't like that, which is fine
(15:20):
for them if that's also what they're looking for. But
my thing is, if that's what you want me to see,
then we're probably not compatible because I don't want to
see them about Like, I don't want that to be
the thing that grabs you about me, and I don't
want that to be the thing that you're looking for
in me either.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, I'm sure this guy that is, yeah, someone that
will flex their quads with him.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
God, well, at least wasn't in his underwear. I've had
I've come across me or selfies of guys in their.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Little panties like white ties, yes tight, which should be
if not allowed on that right, it's like kind of
nudity I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Mean, I'm just a little more welsome.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
But if a girl's in there in her bikini or
a guy is an espedo, Okay, okay, that's fair, that's fair,
But like in your bathroom and your I get it.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
It just felt like in like, oh I didn't see
I mean to see that.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I definitely felt after looking at her fifty and ex
them all out, like we're about like she's I'm forty five,
she's about to turn fifty, and we're like, are we
just going to be alone forever? And she told me
that she has another friend that like she's doing the
Golden Girls thing with if like they don't end up married,
like they're going to live together.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
At what age do you decide that, well, is.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Now too young?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Is it too young? You?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Okay, so forty five is too young?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
But like at what age the Golden Girls were?
Speaker 4 (16:54):
What in they're when the show?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
In the show, they were sixty maybe were they sixty
five because they were retired?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
I mean, I know, so I watched the Golden Girls.
Would they all live together?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Okay, I don't know anything about them. Oh my gosh,
I'd be open to watch it.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Good.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I think you would love it. Go back and watch
some Golden Girls because it's such a good show. But
they all they all live together. So they've had divorces, deaths,
whatever has brought them together.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
They're all single and older.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And so there's Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia and Sofia
is Dorothy's.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Mom, and they all four live together in Blanche's house.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Okay, okay, So their characters were fifty three, fifty four,
fifty five. Oh so I mean you are not that
far off, yeah, because Sofia was eighty Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Okay, that okay, okay, But but hear me out. If
you want to do that and you have a friend
that wants to do that, I'm I will support you.
What happens though, if one of you do start dating,
because fifty three is not.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, they dated on the show a lot, especially Blanche.
They bring the men home Blanche did. Okay, Blanche sounds
like somebody who'd be dating. You know. She was a
little promiscuous. Yes, I mean they all dated, don't get
me wrong, but Blanche was Blanche, So are you are
you really open to this?
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Well something she.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Brought up and I thought, okay, that's a valid point,
But what age do you implement that? It's sort of like, hey,
if we're not with anybody with this age, we just
get married like a guy and a girl or whoever
in your life. And then this is sort of hey,
if we're not, I'm divorced, she's divorced. For other friends, like,
do we just bring everybody together and like have a
good time and buy an awesome house?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
So you know people did this?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Who?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Uh? Seven girls in China? This was like a big story. Okay, guy,
I did here. This was a big story on social
media a while ago. So I don't know all the
details from it, but it was seven girls bought put
their money together and bought a mansion and made it
into their dream house, and then they decided to live
(19:01):
in it together. So it's not it's not like people
don't do this.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Yeah, so I mean we could do it.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I'm just telling you things were looking pretty bleak last
night on her profile.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay, so are you out of handrit to make you
not want to like be on?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Oh I didn't have the desas after going through her page,
I didn't have the desire. I'm just not going to
I'm not ready for an app again. I mean, I'm
not saying I won't.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
I just don't have that desire. So I think I'm
good right now.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I can get the fix though it is kind of
fun to go through, but I can get the fixed
through her page. And then she was like, what if
we see a guy that you end up liking but
she's not a good fit for me, And she was like,
we were talking about how we would handle that, and
she said that she could send him a message saying,
what's your phone number?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
I have a friend I want to set you up
with or something.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Did I tell you that some guy did that to me?
Kind of when I was on the dating apps.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
I kind of hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Oh what happened? Well, it wasn't that. It was not
the scenario that your friend is saying. It is a
guy matched with me and he's really cute, and he
was like, Hey, not to be rude, but I'm really
interested in your friend in your second picture.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Oh yeah, that's that's.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Rough, and I think I've blocked him. But in hindsight,
it was my my friend Torri. Was she single? No,
I'm not at the time. Okay, she's not now, but
I I think I showed. I'm pretty sure I showed
it to her, and I don't. I also think she
wasn't interested, but I also think it's because she was
(20:35):
kind of dating somebody. But it did hurt my it
was it shouldn't hurt. I mean, I guess it's okay
to hurt my feelings. Feelings are valid, all of that.
But I was like, oh, dang it, that's bold. I
would never be like, oh, I'm not attracted to you,
but your friend is really cute, you know, so I
can see how that would mean. Beware, when you put
(20:57):
attractive people in your dating that profile, they might, you know,
get attention.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I tried not to put other people because I didn't
want it to be confusing. I don't like when they
have groups of people and you can't tell who's who.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Well, this is my advice. If you do decided dabble
is a group photo. One is good because it shows
it can show you like with community, or it can
show you doing something like.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
I'm not a loser, like I have friends.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I yeah, because also you don't you don't want all
your pictures to be like selfies or individual shots, because
then it's like, why does she have so many of them.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Oh, I would just like crop myself.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Okay, I like being able to see people doing It's
not just like what you look like, it's also what
does your life kind of look like? Got it? That
makes sense?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
This is all.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Information I would share with people if I ever start
my dating service.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
That's right, because you may start helping people date, but
you'd be a little matchmaker maybe Okay, the Golden Girls thing.
Who knows if that's gonna actually happen. But we all
do have girlfriends, and there are questions that you can
ask your girlfriends. And this is something that I saw
(22:11):
on Instagram from Lindsay Vanettin. It's her account and I
loved it, so I pulled it. But she has or
she recommends a yearly what the hell are we doing
with our lives?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Girls dinners? Girls dinner?
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I guess, yeah, yeah, yearly, what the hell are we
doing with our lives?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Girls dinner?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
It's hard to say. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
And once a year gathers close friends and they ask
these specific questions to each other to figure out what
the heck they have going on. So the questions that
you can ask if you want to do this, everyone
has to put their phones away by the way, So.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
It's like an intimate, it's an intentional intimate.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
What the heck are we doing with our lives? Dinner?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
First question?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
What do you want more of in your life right now?
What are you currently tolerating that you know needs to change?
What do you keep saying you'll do but haven't.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Starting that matchmaking service?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
What do you actually want the next year of your
life to look like? And then finally the last question,
what would you go after if you knew every woman
here had your back?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
That is a good one. I love that question. Okay,
I kind of want to answer some of these. Can
we have a girl dinner?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Han me your phone.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I'll know where it is somewhere, don't I ivead? Okay,
So the first one was what do you want more
of in your life right now? Uh? Maybe some alone time? Wow?
From you? Shoot? Do I want that? You must? You're
(24:03):
saying it? I think I'm coming out right now? WHOA,
you're slits.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
You're like you love being around people?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
No, I'm well, I'm more thinking like alone time. I
don't wanted to be away from Patrick, but I feel
like I would like more. I don't do things alone anymore,
like ever since I got married, and before that, like
I used to be very independent, I had to be,
and now I don't like doing anything by myself. So
(24:32):
I think I want to challenge myself to do more
things alone, but I might not like it, and I
have I request the right to change my mind about that. Yeah,
you have that. Do you know what you would want?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I think I need a little bit more opposite. Yeah,
I need less alone time and more spontaneity. Maybe, Oh,
that would be good for you with a guy.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That you didn't be on the hinge? Right? Uh? And
then what are you currently tolerting that it needs to change?
I think that's probably more about stuff that I'm doing
than other people, like behaviors that I am just like ignoring,
like procrastinating or worrying, which I do have a weight
(25:22):
to worry moment. We talked about that segment.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Let's get into Yeah, we'll do am in a segment.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
We're interrupting this girl dinner for a weight to worry segment.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
It's a small one, but since we just talked about it,
I thought we should bring it up so then more
people can remember to send us their weight to worry moments.
But the other day I was getting out of my
car and I dropped a fork from lunch underneath my car.
So I had a bunch of stuff in my hands.
I had to bend down to get it, and seven
(25:53):
and a half months pregnant, and so when I bent,
I just felt like I squish.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Oh my gosh, wait, are you gonna tell us you
thought that you killed your baby again?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I mean, first I Electroci did it, and now you've
squished it.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Why would she think?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
That's what where this is going? Okay, go ahead, I
don't care. Are you laughing or crying? I'm laughing. I'm
crying from laughing. I'm not like sad. No, no, you
never know. Yeah, this is a wait to worry moment.
So this is has a good ending.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
So anyway that happened, I was like, oh, I shouldn't
have done that because it was like I was down
under the car, you know, and I can barely tie
my shoes these days. So anyway, I go carry on,
I act normal, and then I can't sleep that night,
to the point at about three point thirty four, I
google if I bend over too far, can I squish
(26:55):
my baby? And Google said no, that there's enough like
fluid and stuff that she's fine. But also you can't
trust Google all the time. And the reason again I
was really worried is she's very active at night. Like
last night, I couldn't sleep because she was very active.
She was not being active. So I luckily had a
(27:19):
doctor's appointment that morning and I did bring it up.
They said, did you have any questions? And I said, okay,
can I harm the baby by bending over and getting
things out from under my car? And she I did
bring her joy I think that day and she said, no,
you're fine, and then we listened to the heartbeat. So
everything was fine. And I should have waited to worry, right,
(27:42):
So just anybody who's pregnant, you can bend and squish. Yeah,
But I'm like, maybe she's fine, but like, is it
uncomfortable for her too, because I also don't want to
hurt her. Yeah, she's like, oh, what's happening? Yeah, Like
I didn't like that. Like sometimes when I'm turning in
the night like to get comfortable, I'm like, I hope
that she's not bothered by this. Then I'm like, you're
(28:03):
bothering me, right, Yeah, so there we go.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Okay, wait to worry. Wait to worry, you have nothing
to worry about. She was fine, Yeah, okay, what do
you keep saying that you'll do but you haven't? What
do you keep saying that you'll do but you haven't?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Well that goes to the question I just answered if like,
that's what I you mean, stop worrying? No, the what
do you cook currently currently tolerating that you know needs
a change, And it's I'm tolerating my own procrastination.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Oh I thought you also said to your some of
your anxiety. Oh yeah, I would like, because like you're worried.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah, both of those things. What do I keep saying
that I'll do but I haven't done?
Speaker 4 (28:57):
I have that invention that I want to make really bad?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Which one though?
Speaker 4 (29:02):
The for the head?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
That one? I know.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I have a few ideas that come to me and
it's just finding the time.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
And then I say to myself, well, I guess I
don't want it bad enough because other people stay up
all night building their dreams and I'm going to bed.
So do I not want it as much as the
person that's staying up all night?
Speaker 1 (29:27):
It doesn't really excite you that much? Maybe not?
Speaker 4 (29:30):
So maybe we're just not there yet.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Maybe it will one day, but right now I'd rather
take my shower and go to bed. But one thing
I do procrastinate a lot is getting in the shower.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Which blows my mind because I love love.
Speaker 4 (29:46):
I love taking a shower too. Once I get in,
I don't want to get out.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
But like I struggle.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
It's because it's not just like, oh, go take a shower.
It's like, Okay, I gotta go do my wipes to
because I double cleanse on my face, but I don't
with soap. I do that water my cellular water. So
I have to step one of my shower is I
do that on my face, my neck, and my chest
because I've got sunscreen on all of that.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
And so that's ZEP one.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Two.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
Turn on the shower to put on my shower cap.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Get in the shower, do my glycolic acid body wash
with my African rag scrub thing.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Just gotten my skin really smooth.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Let me tell you the combo for rough skin, Like
I had some bumps under my arms and bumps on
the side of my legs. Glycolic acid body wash with
one of those African cloths.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Just google it. So what if you didn't have to
take everything shower every time you shower.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's not everything though, that's not everything shower and everything
shower is shampoo, conditioner, shaving.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
This is just body wash, okay, well and your face
and then turn it on. The shower was a step
for you.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
It's a step.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
We have to wait for it to get the right temperature.
Then I do my I normally brush my teeth in
the shower. That's probably one of the more of the
first things.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
That I do is that weird. Do you have tooth toothbrushes? No,
I just take it with me. I would forget it
and then I would be annoyed.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
But it's right there.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
It's your shower. Really far when you have to like
get out of the show. Like sometimes I forget my
face washed, so I got two face washes. You do
have the shower and then you drip water everywhere.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I have a window ledge that sometimes I'll lay it
on the ledge and that's reachable without from any point
of the Like if I was putting it where my
shampoo and stuff is, that would be a little bit
around the corner to the window ledge. That does me
a solid.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
So brushing my teeth then then you get out of
the shower and you have to pat dry. Then you
have to start your lotion routine and your fit what
you don't have to yes, I do?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Okay, Well have you seen.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
My dry skin?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Well?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Absolutely, forty five year old me is mad at thirty
year old me.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
So I should be doing that every time. But I
guess my thought is maybe if that overwhelms you sometimes
so you don't want to do it. Sometimes you just
are like, well I don't have to do every step.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
No, all of the steps I just named you must
be done, okay, forget that, Like that's not gonna be
Why would I? Even then my brain is like, why
would I If you're not going to do it right?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Why would I? Why would I get a shower right,
don't do it all? Why would I go back to.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
The way I used to be where I would get
out of the shower and not put lotion on.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yep, I used to do that. Well I think I
do that, I know. But see, this is the thing.
You're not in your forties yet.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
You think your you think your skin's like which your
skin is different than mine already, Like you already have
more olive like plump, juicy good skin.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Mine's not. Mine's creepy thin.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
And and then if it's a self candy, oh gosh
ay yeah yeah, Okay, so you're gonna are you gonna
take more showers right now?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I still do it.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
I'm just saying that's the thing I procrastinate.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
And if I didn't procrastinate, then I would be my
shower would already be done.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
But instead I'll sit in my room and like put
other things away or wait till, like, say, I go
up to my room at nine pm to shower and
then get in bed.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Well it'll be nine.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Thirty because I don't want to go do all those steps.
I'll find other things to do. Yeah, and then that's
just like what I could already be done.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Okay, Well I'm gonna hold you to do this. You
gonna like my shower routine? Huh, No, I do. I
was trying to be helpful.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
You know what I saw some girls do.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
They were probably having a little girl dinner or get together,
and they all film themselves.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
They were fully clothed.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
This popped up on my This is probably what I
was watching on Instagram as I was procrastinating taking a shower.
But they all demonstrate how they towel off when they
get out of the shower, and so they had a towel.
Again they're clothed, but it was like, Okay, here's the towel.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (34:09):
And they each have a different routine.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Like some girls start with their arms, others start with
drawing off their legs, others like drape it around this way,
and how they do their hair towel, Like everybody had
a different method.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Do you dry off before you get out?
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Well, I have to get out to get my towel
and then sometimes I'll step back in. But you know
how my shower, I don't have a shower door. I
just have a glass that.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
Kind of just has an opening.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah. So'm I had a roommate in college. I love her.
She's a wonderful person. But we always would laugh because
she would get out of the shower every single time,
completely soaking wet, and then go like find her towel.
I mean, we had like an inch of water on
our floor every time she got out the show. But
(35:00):
she just like she couldn't change her behavior no matter
how many times we were like laughing about and sometimes
it was annoying, but mostly it was just funny, but
she just couldn't get like, I'm like what, but but
you could just do it in there. You could just
take the towel and then you don't get cold. It's
not what she wanted anyway.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Well, before we move off our shower body talk, I
will say another thing that I've been putting on my
skin with the lotion that I'm putting on at night
is a has retinol in it. And I think I
got what's that brand, like Martha's Choice or Mary's Choice
or you know, I don't know Cindy's Choice. It's like
(35:39):
a good girl's name and a choice. I think you
can get it at Target. I think I ordered on Amazon.
I've liked it, but I'm running out a lot faster,
Like the bottle wasn't as big as I thought. So
I saw a dermatologist pop up on my feet and
said that the gold Bond one was really good with retinol.
Maybe Survey has one, so I'm gonna do some shopping
(36:01):
for that. But that's what I've been putting on and
my skin is between the glycolic acid body wash and
the African scrubber thing and the retinal lotion. My skin
is getting smoother, and I've been consistent and when you
see results, you don't want to quit. So that's why
I'm not gonna give my routine.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
That's okay. I was just trying to help you. But
if you if it's working for you, that's fine. I
just had a thought, would this be weird if you
sent me your shower routine and I put it in
the newsletter with the products.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
That you use.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Sure? I think that's hard for people to hear that
and remember.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
So if you, yeah, I'll send it to you and
put it in the newsletter.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Because it has helped my bumps.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, I will say.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
It's like the bumps were there, and I was like,
is this even working?
Speaker 4 (36:48):
Is this even working?
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Like, oh, I still feel the bumps, And then one
day you're just like this is working.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah I don't feel the bumps.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
So you got to give it a minute.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
But just stay the course, the core and ill everything
that I started to do.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
It was a.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
From repetition of seeing different dermatologists.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
In my feed and not just one multiple saying this
type of body wash, this type of lotion, and not
just one particular brand, just the ingredients that are in.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
XYZ body washing xyz lotion. So that's why I'm also
kind of sampling, like, Okay, I tried this round, and
next round, I'll go buy a different brand to see
if it lasts me longer or the price point. And
that's what I love too about.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Some of these dermatologists that I'm following, is they're like, guys,
this is like drugstore stuff, Like you can find this
anything crazy. You don't need to be spending a ton
of money. Like if this is your problem, this is
your solution. And I'm like, okay, thank you, Well send
me that because that could be riveting stuff, I know, and.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Then it's going to make more people sign up for
our newsletter. Yes, you can do that by going to
the link in our show notes.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
Okay, yeah, this show that you're listening to right now, Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Okay, Well, what do you actually want the next year
of your life to look like? That is a I
don't know if I'm prepared for that one, but I
want it to.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Look like, yeah, a baby, you're gonna have a baby.
Yours is gonna be full of all kinds of new things.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
But I want it to look still full and full
in a different way because we are getting closer. And
what I always thought about people who were pregnant, as
I always was like, I bet they just like want
that baby to stay in there because like as soon
as it comes out, like their life is just completely changed.
And kind of like sometimes I would be like, my
(38:37):
life's kind of over like as they know it, which
it is. But now I'm pregnant, and I'm like, I
can't wait for this baby to come out, actually, and
I want because our life will be different. We won't
be traveling as much, we won't be able to just
go out and do things when like because I'm older
having my first child, I think myself is older having
(38:58):
my first child. I'm thirty six. I think it might
be a little harder for me to adjust because I've
lived so much of my adult life doing whatever I want,
whenever I want it. So I hope my life still
looks full, but just in a different way, you know.
And it will.
Speaker 4 (39:18):
And I'm excited for her to come out.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I want to meet her, and it makes me to
you know, I've always wanted one inside of me, and
I don't know that I'll ever get that, and that's fine,
but it does make me like I have no idea
what it feels like to like, I feel like you
squashed a baby.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
You know, Yeah, it feels really weird. I asked Patrick
if he would give birth if he was able to,
and what do you say? He said he would be
interested in feeling what it's like for a day, but
he doesn't want to do.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
It, right, cool.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I think for the next year of my life, just
have more parties.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
What kind of party?
Speaker 4 (39:58):
I don't know, like a barbecue.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
It's really deep question at our girl dinner and it's like,
what do you want the next year of your life
to look like? And Amy's like, I'm just like really
wanting to have more barbecues.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Yeah, like have people oh for have I ever had
a barbecue?
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Well when I was married, right, But that's what I think.
And I was talking to another friend about this just
this week about if is it is it because I
don't have a partner, or is it because I want
to do some work in my yard and change some
things to make my backyard a little more inviting and
like things to do, like to where you want to
(40:42):
sit out.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
There and gather and barbecue?
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Yeah, party friendly?
Speaker 1 (40:49):
And I.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
And is it is it that my I don't feel
like my backyard welcomes that.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Or is it that I don't have a partner that
helps with putting on something like that, because I had
people over a lot when we lived in North Carolina.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
When we lived in East Nashville.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
It probably changed once, like after COVID just things ever
got back to kind of that.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
But we would host all kinds.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
We would have people over.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
It would be even last minute and we'd have thirty
people at our house and he would grill and everybody
would just bring aside. I would make a big thing
a kso and everybody would like, come over.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Okay, I'm down for I would love for you to
have more parties, although I am trying to have more
alone time, so I might not come.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
You'll come and you bring the baby, I'll come.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
You're good, okay, But you've had a couple of small
gatherings half I.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
A baby shower is different. That's like a planned function.
I'm talking about a spontaneous like Saturday.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
Hey, let's all.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Hang okay, Okay, yeah, it's a no reason party.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
I want you to have these and you could be
like I'm having a barbecue invite whoever, guess who might show.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Up a friend of a friend of a friend who's single.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Yeah, yes, yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
So the final question at the what the hell are
we doing with our lives? Girl, Girl's dinner? What would
you go after if you knew every woman here had
your back? My invention? You think I'm just kidding, but
if everybody, if everybody had my back and they want
(42:47):
to help me sell it and sell it.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Maybe then maybe it would be I thought of that
question differently. I thought of like what confrontation would I have?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
How versus like half your back and like a big
bold movie, what would I do?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (43:05):
I was seeing like a career move, Like I've been
working on my keynote, Like am I going to finally
like try to go out there?
Speaker 4 (43:11):
If I know I've got like you and we.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
Would all support you and go and like yes, have
a sign. Mm hmm okay, well maybe that is that
what you want to go with your keynote. You're gonna
do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
What would you go after if every woman here had
your back? I mean, I'm gonna do that anyway. So
I guess that's not a fair because like I am going,
So it's more of challenging yourself of what are you
not doing that you've always wanted to do?
Speaker 1 (43:34):
But if you had support, you would do it. Yeah,
this is kind of hard because I do feel like
I have support.
Speaker 4 (43:40):
So who do you need to confront?
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Like, we got your back? What's up? I don't think
I I have some. But that's just where my brain
went when they said, like, have your back.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I know, but that makes me think there is someone
in your brain that you're looking to like confront.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Well, you know, there's a lot of people I would confront,
but it's not worth it. Okay, you know there's a
lot of things in my head that I keep there
because there wouldn't be Maybe I need to confront the
girl that cut my hair lopsided twenty years ago. I
think you can let that one go.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
I am shocked that you didn't ask her how long
she was going to be gone.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
I think I just thought she was going to a party,
and I was like, you have a baby, so surely
you won't be there that long.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
So like, how did you? I mean, yeah, like what
did the baby go to bed?
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I remember this is so long ago. I remember trying
to put because she brought out like a pack and
play he wouldn't sleep or exlept for like ten minutes.
Then I remember him me like holding him on my chest.
And then I remember going down to my parents' room
being like mom, because that was at my parents over
Christmas break and I was like, Mom, the baby won't
go to sleep. It's crying. And she was like, that's
what babies do, and so I went back upstairs. I
(44:52):
think I probably cried. I didn't know how to soothe
the baby. I was probably I probably was nineteen years old. Yeah,
hopefully we'll do better. Yeah, you'll do better. You'll figure out.
So I don't know what I would do if I
if every woman had my back, Maybe I would do
something crazy like I would start the date, the dating
(45:15):
the map. But I kind of want to work less,
so that's also what my I want my This goes
back to another question, like I want my life to
look different, like full in a different way. I've been
slowly changing the way that I work and being okay
with filling my life up with other things other than
just working.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
Because you were working so much for so long.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Yeah, I before I knew we actually was probably when
I first met you.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I was.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
When did I meet you?
Speaker 4 (45:40):
At twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Okay, so it was right before then when I was
I was, I was pre COVID though, yes, okay, yeah,
I was teaching then. This was that I was teaching
ten to twelve cycling classes a week, plus, I was
seeing twenty to thirty clients a week plus, I was
doing group therapy, plus I was streating a podcast like
I sometimes would work from five thirty to eight or nine.
(46:05):
But it felt fulfilling to me, like I didn't. I
didn't dread it like I was busy, but it felt
really fulfilling. But slowly, as my life has shifted, other
things are filling me up. And so I'm moving some
things out of the way. Yeah, you're full.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Looks different and which, Yeah, you are making some shifts
and work. Which I speaking of you being a therapist,
I have questions that don't come up. Yes, do you
ever lie about what you do to avoid having to
use your profession? Like say someone sits down next to
you on an airplane and it's a long flight and
they may end up wanting therapy advice if they're like, hey,
(46:44):
what do you do and you're like, I'm a therapist.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Yeah, do you ever just say oh, I work in.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Mental health. I work with people.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
I work with people, So you could say there was
a point in your life you could be like, I'm
miss an instructor and leave it upon.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
Yes. Yeah, so I was gonna say, first of all,
I hope I'm an airplane. Nobody does that, especially a
long flight. You mean I do not like talking to
people on an airplane.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
You mean ask you what you do or would ask
you for advice, but learning what you do?
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Okay, Oh for sure both. I think I have learned
to be careful. Yeah, how I say what I do?
I stopped when I was on the dating apps. I
took it off my profile. I said I was a
business owner, and then if I went on a date
with them, then I would probably tell them like Patrick
had no idea what I did before we met.
Speaker 4 (47:37):
Okay, so why did you have to do that?
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Because I feel like it would either deter people or
it would attract people just because of my job, and
I was getting I was how do I say this?
I feel like there was a lot of instability in
some of the people I was going on dates with,
and I felt very often that they just needed to talk.
(48:01):
Like one date, one of the last two of the
worst dates I've ever been on were the two dates
before I met Patrick. They're on the same weekend. I
was really going for it, and the first one a
very nice guy, and I got his beginning birth to
(48:25):
where he was that day, detail of his life, his
mental health journey, the treatment he has gone through, the
therapy he has done, the people he has had in
and out of his life, all everything. What do you
think he knew about me? Nothing? Not a thing. So
when this man went to the bathroom, I got the
(48:46):
check and paid for it and I gotta go. Oh,
I said it nicely.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
He also he came back from the bathroom and you
were like, Bill's pay Yeah, I'm leaving.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
He said get back for the bathroom and I was like, oh,
I paid it, and he was like, oh my gosh,
you didn't have to do that. And I was like, oh,
I don't mind. But I was like, we will be
here forever if he's going to pay this bill. And
we went and had like a full meal. So, I mean,
I honestly was like, I don't care. I will pay
for this to get out. I have a lot of
compassion for him because he has a like tough story,
(49:16):
and I was on a date. Like I was on
a date, I wanted something to be interested in me,
and I think he was interested in what it felt like.
He was interested in what I could do for him. Okay,
got it. The next day I had gone a date
with a guy who was also in the same well
I'll say this. He was studying to be a therapist.
(49:39):
So I had never I've never wanted to date a
therapist because I feel like that's like a lot, Yeah,
to date a therapist. Yes, and I'm a therapist. I
just feel like it's a lot like.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Some people might think that about me, you know, Yes,
which also is.
Speaker 1 (49:54):
Why I took it off, because I'm like, I think
some people, before they get to know me, they have
this preconceived idea of what I'm going to be like.
So I go on the state with this guy and
it lasts maybe thirty five minutes. It was probably one of.
Speaker 4 (50:09):
The shortest dates I've ever been thirty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
Is that a record for me? Yes, because usually I
feel kind of guilty leaving that early, so I'm like,
I'll drag it on. But he had he he was
previously married. Again, This is another situation where he knew
nothing about me after we left this date, but I
(50:32):
knew very intimate details about his life, including why he
got divorced. I don't even know if I can say it.
Speaker 4 (50:41):
Well, why wait, it's not hippa, I know.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
But it's my it's a little inappropriate, okay with little ears?
Oh what so so you' me to whisper it?
Speaker 2 (50:50):
Well, let me see give it to me in code
and then i'll see how how could you tell me
as your friend?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
I'll just say it and if we need to edit
it out, we can. Okay, he had I want to
do it. This is a game. Okay, this is a game.
He what you tell me in the most he?
Speaker 4 (51:07):
Okay, he walked in?
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Oh he.
Speaker 4 (51:17):
He he he's a cross dresser.
Speaker 3 (51:22):
Wait did he.
Speaker 4 (51:27):
He walked in on his wife?
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Uh huh he walked in on his wife having a
relationship with somebody else?
Speaker 1 (51:35):
Oh another woman? Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (51:38):
So he multiple people? Oh a wow?
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Okay, so that was really good.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (51:48):
Well, I mean, once I got past that, you weren't
trying to do that he was like cross dressing.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
I would have been fine.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Honestly, It's like I so he that was his extreme variance?
Was he was married and then walked down on his
wife in a situation with multiple people.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Which is fine, I mean not fine, but like that's
not his fault. And this was in the he told
me this within the Our date was thirty five minutes,
so I was just curious, why is this the beginning
of our date? Right? But how does it end in
thirty five minutes? So we went to a brewery and
(52:29):
I don't like beer.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Iyall in through a drive throughout, but also we sat.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
We sat at the bar, and I hate on first
dates sitting at the bar when they're small bars, because
then the bartenders can hear you, you know, yeah, they
like they're like they're on a first date. And I
could only imagine what these bartenders were thinking because I'm
sitting there being like, oh, that's that must have been
really hard. I think what it was. It's not that
(52:58):
like that happened to him and he's shared that with me.
It's that I don't know you yet to know these
intimate details of your life. But because I'm a therapist,
my assumption is they think that I'm okay with it,
but I want to be treated like anybody else where.
You're like, tell me about where you grew up or
literally what do you do for a living like, and
then I could say I'm a spin instructor and we
(53:20):
could talk about that. So I think that's what really
bothered me about those situations and this guy. We were
not a fit. So how did it end? I think
we had. I drank a beer, which I wouldn't normally do,
and then I think I said like, okay, well we
can get the check because I wasn't going to have
another one. I think the bartender asked you one another
(53:42):
and I was like, no, we'll take the check, and
then we left. I don't think he was having a
good time either. Okay, So I mean we never talked
again after that. But also can you imagine this is
also my thought is like, and maybe I'm just a
little slower to open up, but can you imagine going on?
I mean, he's dating on the dating apps, he's going
on multiple dates. Do you share this with everybody and
(54:05):
then you just never talk to them again? That is
interesting to me. Yeah, So I hope he's found love.
I don't think he was a bad guy. I just
did this.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
It's a little cringe that he offered that up, like
right away.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Versus trying to know anything about me. So yes, I
do not tell people, and I think towards the end
of dating, I would start with that I teach fitness
classes versus I'm a therapist.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Therapist.
Speaker 4 (54:38):
Okay, that was a long.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
Way way to answer that question. I feel like you
should answer that too, because.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
You know, because no one's gonna ask me for I
was thinking the question doesn't come up because you on
an airplane, Like I see that for like doctors, therapists,
like financial advisors, like who can you sit next to
that you can soak all this wisdom up from on
a two hour flight? Yeah, and then get for like
free advice, like oh if you learn you're sitting next
(55:03):
to your doctor, you're like, oh man, so I have
this like rash on my leg and then you start showing.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
And they're like, okay, well I will say this because
I don't want it to come off this way for
people in my life, like I don't mind them being
like I want to pick your brain.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
Yeah. Like for example, yesterday I said I was sharing
something that you where I felt sad, and you listened
as a friend, and then you get you texted me
a response that was really helpful, and there was a
normal person probably wouldn't say no.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
I think a normal person could.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
But I think it was your therapy background coming in
because you were reminding me that feeling sad is good
and it's giving me information. Yeah, and so it's okay
to feel sad and to take the information that I'm
getting from the feeling. And you wrote a little bit
more and that I'm not going to disclose all of
the details. It just was very helpful. But I do
(56:00):
think it was like therapy side of you. Like if
I was sitting in a session with you as a
paying client, I think I would say said, well, this
happened to me and I'm feeling sad, and you would
have given a similar response. I do think any friend
could have said that if therapy is not their job,
but you delivered it in a way that's like, oh, yeah,
you helped me through that moment and I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
But I wasn't using you for that because you also
that's not like what our friendship is based off of. Yeah,
And if somebody like needed if somebody in my life
or my family had like a crisis and needed help
figuring something out that I could help, I would want
to help them with that. I wouldn't be like, oh,
you just started calling me some a therapist, and yeah,
(56:41):
they would they are calling me because I'm a therapist.
But also, this is what people do for each other.
It's just when you, yeah, when you don't know them specifically.
For me, it's more so not if the guy on
the airplane's going to be like, oh, well, so me
and my wife have been fighting about blah blah blah.
It's it was more so I don't want people to
attack to me for that that person I would never
(57:04):
see again, so it'd be annoying. But whatever versus you
only want to be my friend because you can get
something out of me. But that could be for anybody
who has any job, like you were saying for you too,
Like somebody's like, oh, you're on the radio, you want
to hear my song? I'd like, well, I'm.
Speaker 2 (57:26):
I mean, I always struggle with what to say. I mean,
I don't, I don't, I don't. Sometimes I just say like,
I'm in media, like I don't, I don't.
Speaker 4 (57:33):
Ever what weird? Sometimes I say, yeah, I work in radio. Yeah,
I work in media.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Oh and if they ask more questions, then I can
give more answers, but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (57:44):
Like, do mey send you a link to my show? Yeah,
so it's like that. It's like that, and it's like this.
Is that a song? It's like this and like that
and like this, Sena, who is that?
Speaker 2 (57:58):
Who is that? I don't know?
Speaker 1 (57:59):
That's how in my it's like this and like that
and you don't know that's huh. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (58:06):
Just sometimes you know, when you have a saying and
then a song pops into your head, it's like this
and like that, like this, n A, is that cringe?
Speaker 1 (58:15):
Because I will?
Speaker 2 (58:16):
I can close with six rules to avoid being cringe.
Speaker 1 (58:20):
We need those.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
Just make sure anybody that's listening to the podcast you
don't do any of these six things, because our listeners
are not cringe and neither are we, so we have
to avoid these as well. One use the speakerphone in public.
Two comment on someone else's weight gain or weight loss.
Three call someone more than twice in a row.
Speaker 1 (58:39):
Well, well there, we need to get a hold of somebody.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Four show up uninvited or without notice. I mean, I
don't mind a little poppin. Five get on the elevator
before allowing people.
Speaker 1 (58:52):
To get off. First, that's actually cringeing.
Speaker 2 (58:56):
Six scroll through someone's photos if they hand you their phone,
why would you do that?
Speaker 4 (59:02):
I don't know, that's cringe.
Speaker 2 (59:04):
Do you know the story of one time where Stevenson
was handed a guy was doing work at my house
and listened to the show and then wanted a picture
with me. So the only other person at my house
was Stevenson to take the picture. And Stevenson got his
phone and Stevenson didn't click on his photos. It like
just went to the guy's photos and then Stevenson's like,
(59:26):
it's not on the camera, It's all on the camera.
Speaker 1 (59:29):
And then when.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
He left, because Stevenson saw photos he had taken of himself,
like in his photo lug where he was like and
we were like it was so embarrassing. I didn't I mean,
it was not that long ago. This was a long
time ago, but he was an adult. Who who held
was who the man or Stevenson? He was maybe ten
(59:54):
or eleven, and this was like handles Like, I didn't
say anything.
Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
I didn't know when after where he left and Stevenson
was like, this is.
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
What well, I mean I went over and was trying
to help him, so I don't even know if Stevenson noticed,
like for sure, for sure, like these are what those
kinds of pictures are? Oh you saw it, well, we
saw it, but I don't think Steve, I mean Stevenson
was laughing. I don't think he registered that. Like maybe
this man took those for his his his you know,
(01:00:32):
or his girlfriend or his wife.
Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
But there's like a mirror a sheet.
Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
That's critch Okay, So there you go.
Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
That's what's all. That's a good way to end.
Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
We got saw, she wrote. You can hit us up
hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. You can
send in your thoughts, emails, questions, stories for couch talks
for sure, and then you can also call and leave
us a voice out eight seven seven two o seven
two o seven seven and.
Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
Thanks for listening. We hope you have the day you
need to.
Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Bye bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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