July 25, 2026 • 17 mins
If willpower alone isn’t enough to stop numbing, what is? In this episode, Chip and Leanne explore why true healing starts with understanding the function of our coping behaviors—not just trying to “fix” them. They share the first steps to recognizing an unhealthy coping pattern, decoding what it’s really telling you, and shifting from avoidance to awareness. This episode is all about embracing discomfort as the key to freedom and learning how to break the cycle for good.
Visit Chip's website at: ChipDodd.com
You can order your copy of Chip's book, The Voice of the Heart: A Call To Full Living HERE.
Listen to the Living With Heart Podcast HERE.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry. Now get to preach. Gonna keep it clean
and talk to me and recall where faith needs fars
nature and get in touch with your creator with a bacon,
love and June. She even speaks Hebrew. What's that? Gonza?
(00:31):
What's that? This little sabosation? You should talking transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Dont We are here back with doctor Chiff Died.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, Hey, how you go?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yes, I have this momentum.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
We If you missed the first two weeks, definitely go
back and check it out. The first part of the
series we talked about what addiction really is, what it
isn't and then last week we talked about why we
actually numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain
and seek comfort. And on both of these episodes we
got obviously the emotional heart side of it, because that's
where we're learning, is where it starts and it ends
(01:13):
right and where there's really no starter, end, no ending,
i should say, But then we also got into the
neuroside of it and the logic and reason side of it,
and to help you meet your logic in reason brain
with your emotional spiritual side. So now that you have
this new awareness of what the problem is and what
the problem isn't, we're going to the next two episodes,
we're going to talk about what does healing look like? Ye,
So this week we're going to talk about healing from
(01:34):
the inside out and learning to actually break free from
the need to numb. So we've talked about in the
past couple of weeks why willpower alone doesn't work, and
how breaking free from that numbing starts with its true
understanding where it's really coming from. And we went into
depth about where it comes from, which is really the
heart right and that brain heart kind of dance that's
(01:54):
going on right now, and how you know, recognizing these
unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning to decode what is.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Actually being told.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And we talked about the dopamine oxytocin connection and really
just the need to be needed but not giving ourselves
permission to be needed and to need and the self
sufficiency that comes alongside that. But then also it becomes
an identity and we also feel shame about our shame,
and then all the stuff that's happening within that paradigm.
(02:23):
And so now let's talk about how do we shift
from avoidance to awareness and then obviously the healing side
of it without Like we talked about going back in.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Our you know, old the skeletons of.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Our emotional graveyard, and we talked to a little bit
about how we Yes, there's a bit of embracing the
discomfort and not relying on the short term gratification trap,
which is easier said than done. Right, So how do
we start moving into healing, moving from avoidance to awareness?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Big loaded question that is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I want to back up just a little bit. I
love you said decode, and you also said shame about
our shame, and so it's amazing how far removed we
get from being able to identify our true selves. We
have shame about our shame, and then we say we
shouldn't have shame about our shame, which has a third
level of shame. By the way, I would love for
(03:13):
everybody to back the episode up and just listen to you,
because you are power packed with literally accurate expression of
how we're made and what we're made to do and
so on. So I just hope that people will continue
to come back to any episode you do. And this
says a genuine affirmation, not because I'm on your podcast,
(03:36):
but I mean that you're really bringing a wanting and
a desire for people to get what they need so
they can be set free to go live the lives
they're made to have, because other people's lives get blessed
when we dare to take the journey into healing, because
we become a place that other people can find what
they're looking for. And man, look, other people out there
(03:58):
are alone because we're alone with ourselves, and other people
out there are every bit just like us. No matter
how much they look a certain way and we internally
feel a certain way, they feel the same way. And
if we would just dare to say, hey, do you
somebody else is going to say, yeah, me too. Like
we referred to the woman last time and who went
(04:20):
to her meeting and she looked around the room. Well
me too. I didn't know that could be so close
so fast, the people I've never met before. Yes, this episode,
I want people, if they would to go to chipdawg
dot com, hit free resources and go ahead and download
it's two little bitty expressions. One's called the amazing Gift
(04:41):
of feelings. I'm talking about like three fourths of a page. Please,
you can read that much even in today's fast moving climate.
And the second one is the eight core feelings and
their purposes, Okay, because that is the doorway into the
rest of our lives. With healing, we know that we
(05:01):
our job is to come back to living fully and
then just simply live until you die, but live fully
until you die, because everybody's going to so there's no
end to the journey. There's a reawakening and then acquiring
the skills of living so that you end up riving
to be somebody can who is recognized that they're gifted,
and there's a world in need of our gifts versus
(05:23):
just a shame. And maybe someday, if I work hard enough,
I'll be worth something. You're already worth something, but you
forgot You're already worth something, but it was suppressed. You
were already worth something, but somebody told you you weren't.
And whoever that was was important enough for you to
hide your heart and put your willpower and thinking in
front of it. And so the willpower and the thinking
(05:46):
took over. For how God made a person to be
to use their brains to express their hearts rather than
using their brains and willpower to hide their hearts. Because
once your heart is committed to something, you will will follow,
and once your heart is committed to something, your mind
will engage in attending to it. But anyway, it all
(06:06):
starts with the amazing gift of feelings. So how do
we how do we heal? We have to take a
risk of facing that our feelings are passwords. They help
decode the mechanism, the push button thing to let us
inside ourselves. So feelings are passwords that let you in
yourself on your computer. If you don't know your passwords,
think about the times I've lost my passwords and I
(06:28):
freak out so I can't get in to my whatever,
any of it. I wound up being so helpless that
I want to numb out, run away, escape, you know,
jump off a building, you know, just quit whatever it
is I've had planned to do. So feelings are passwords
and they are also lanterns. So once you get in,
(06:50):
they show you around, and they're also keys. They don't
they unlock rooms in a mansion that we left behind
and never learn how to grow into. So I want
you to know who our true selves are, so much
bigger than we even.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Know it's an abandoned mansion.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yes, it's an abandoned mansion, and it is. And there's
one room that we locked a long time ago. It's
full of light French doors. In the back, there's a
there's a grand piano in there, even we don't we
don't even play. The first is covered with sheets. We
just take the sheets off. But what's amazing is the
one thing that's not uncovered. There's a vase of flowers
(07:29):
sitting on that grand piano with clear water, a clear
vase and fresh flowers picked that morning that still have due.
That mean somebody's been coming into that room waiting and
hoping on our return. In other words, there was a
home we left because on some level we foreclosed on
our hearts or orphaned our hearts. So returning to the feelings, now,
(07:52):
upon the doorway of the human heart, there are written
eight words. I mean, I know it sounds overly simple,
but it isn't. There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame,
so on. You can look them up, but each one
is a tool that allows us to step into what
are our needs and what's through our desire? What are
(08:12):
I long for? What our hope. It's a return to
how it remade, which is what addiction and even our
coping skills take us away from. We try to cope
in such a way that we don't have to feel
or become addicted that don't even know what we feel. Right,
so returning starts to come with blear or not, we
learn four questions. Here are the four questions. Once you
(08:45):
kind of get familiar with taking a risk of believing
you do have feelings, and they're kind of eight of them,
and at first you may not know the eight. But
here's how you can find the eight. You can say,
I don't know what I feel, but what would another
human being feel? In other words, you can picture yourself
being somebody else, what would that person feel in this situation?
(09:06):
Because we've spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other
people to see what we need.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
To do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Then you can know for yourself, or you could say
what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Another way of doing it is describe what it's like
you shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say, now, what
(09:33):
is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
feelings being described? So you get closer, you can also
believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
some ways, but thank God we're actually paying attention to it.
Body keeps the score when the body says no, your
body will tell you an experience. But I want you
to know, don't stop there. Your body's telling you an experience.
(09:54):
And what's your body telling you that it's trying to
tell you that you're feeling? Like, go to your epe
fet Now there are just eight feelings. Well guess what,
there are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book,
The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
eight feelings specifically and how each one has a gift.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
But then how also each one has its own impairment
and how you know kind of when it's like if
they talk about clean pain and dirty pain kind of texting,
you know, and a way to navigate and kind of
again decode your own feelings.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
And so that's so so relevant to this.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I heard it that I've heard it was like a
psycho an actual psychological term that psychologists.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Use, that's impairment. Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
So there you go. We're masterminding right now.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
But I'll just share from your book the eight feelings
are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt, and glad.
And in the I'll blink it in the show notes, we
talked about this in depth when we talked about when
you're on what's God got to do with it?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
But definitely check that out because.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
It really becomes this navigation system, like if you're lost
in the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
You know?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So this is that for the heart.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
In terms of this conversation of healing and what true
healing looks like, you know, we talked about we have
to acknowledge our needs and our emotions and boundaries right
to break the cycle. So before we end, if you
were to just nutshell, what does that process look like?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Like this. It looks like this is there are four
questions we need to answer to really reunite with ourselves.
This is just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which
is kind of like, what am I feeling? It's amazing?
That's God's first questions, where are you? To humanity? And
the answer that God was looking for was emotional and
(11:51):
that's where the human beings said, I was afraid and
this is what I did with it? So where am i?
Which is what am I feeling? What am I doing
with it? What am I doing with where I am?
Which is taking ownership, which is using your mind to
address your motives. And then number three is what happened
(12:11):
or what's happening? What's the story not the rationalization, but
what's the story of how I wound up where I'm
sitting right now or standing? And then the fourth question
is what's this like? And then there's a fifth thing. Finally, First,
you find yourself as much as you can with the
help of others. But then who do I tell? Because
(12:32):
remember you're created for relationship. You're created to find fulfillment
through connection to yourselves, others in God, So you got
to kind of be able to start finding that self
to speak. So the five things, there are four questions
and then the final one, the fifth one is who
do I tell? I mean, who will care who? And
we find out a lot of times we have restricted
(12:54):
our lives to no one first, And I remember that
for myself. I picked up a phone one day. It
was nineteen eighty something, and I've got to call somebody
because I am so lonely. I found the lonely and
I picked up the phone and I ended up looking
the receiver. There was no one. Now I could call
people to see how they were doing, right, totally, how
(13:16):
you doing? Just called to see how you're doing? To
get somebody to care about me? But I need to
carry about them, right, But no one to call to
say I'm in need. And there are a lot of
people out there who are really needing to hear somebody
say I get it, you know, like you know, yeah, sorry,
that's where it starts flu do I tell? Yeah? And
it's okay. If you find no one.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
At fresh, that's okay. It's not bad. It's part of again,
it's part of what. That's the way it goes. It's
a product exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
It's an awareness of like Okay, maybe this is something
to look into, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So and yeah, we talked a.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Lot about that on episode one of this series of
really you know, finding that the need to be needed,
but also knowing that it's human of you and that's
something that needs to be addressed because it's.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Not going to go away and to require nisire.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, and you know, it's so good to leanne because
you know, we have to face that we can't give
what we don't have. And if I'm not good at
knowing what feelings are also if I'm not good at needing,
can I really step into the needs of another. Really,
I can't give what I don't have if I if
I don't know what it is to be in need,
then on some level I might meet your needs. But
(14:21):
I'm doing it for me, not as a way of
relating to you, but really relating, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Absolutely, So wow, so good recovery. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing,
And definitely go.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Over to Chipdodd dot com and find out all of
the resources.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
If you click on free resources.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Over there, you'll get the amazing gift of feelings in
those eight core feelings and their purposes. When you go
over to that page and definitely check out his Living
with Heart podcasts.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
He gets to be all of who he is and teach.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
What I would say is, really, you know, you you
beautifully take the voice of the heart, but you back
it up with science, and then you back it up
with stories and experiences and you share your own and
those of you know, decades of working in the recovery world.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing, Leanne. You
will you will have a longevity in terms of the
passions of your heart almost certainly for as long as
you're here. Okay, And see, I want your audience to
hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
(15:24):
I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
passion that comes out of kind of like honestly, look
at Anger chapter in the Voice of the Heart. Anger
is essentially was wanting something, desiring something, longing for something.
Once you have that, you'll get tired, but you your
candle doesn't go out, right, Wow, thank.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
You for sharing that. Yeah, I needed to hear that.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I know everyone out there that's Candle's gone out needed
to hear that.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Absolutely it'll reignite.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Absolutely love it. Well, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
We will be back next week for our fourth and
final part of the series, talking about the courage to
feel and transforming your relationship with emotions. So we kind
of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
going to get to the core of.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
That center of that onion next week. So thanks for
being here and we'll see you next week. Bye, thank you.
We'll be back with more What's God Got to Do
with It?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
But in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear
from you, so just tell me where you are in
your story or maybe what questions you have, like where
do you feel you need clarity or support or wisdom
in your own journey. I definitely want to hear from you,
So head on over to What's God Got to Do
with It? Dot com and scroll down to the form
(16:38):
to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback and.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
You can do that instantly. So What's God Got to
Do with It? Dot Com? You'll find all the ways
to do that.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose of What's God
Got to Do With It? New episodes drop every single Tuesday,
and while you're there, be sure to rate and review
to show your support.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
It really means so much.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
What's God Got to Do With It is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
It's written and.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Hosted by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio,
post production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music
written by Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry. Now get to preach. Gonna keep it clean
and talk to me and recall where faith needs fars
nature and get in touch with your creator with a bacon,
love and June. She even speaks Hebrew. What's that? Gonza?
(00:31):
What's that? This little sabosation? You should talking transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Dont We are here back with doctor Chiff Died.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, Hey, how you go?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yes, I have this momentum.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
We If you missed the first two weeks, definitely go
back and check it out. The first part of the
series we talked about what addiction really is, what it
isn't and then last week we talked about why we
actually numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain
and seek comfort. And on both of these episodes we
got obviously the emotional heart side of it, because that's
where we're learning, is where it starts and it ends
(01:13):
right and where there's really no starter, end, no ending,
i should say, But then we also got into the
neuroside of it and the logic and reason side of it,
and to help you meet your logic in reason brain
with your emotional spiritual side. So now that you have
this new awareness of what the problem is and what
the problem isn't, we're going to the next two episodes,
we're going to talk about what does healing look like? Ye,
So this week we're going to talk about healing from
(01:34):
the inside out and learning to actually break free from
the need to numb. So we've talked about in the
past couple of weeks why willpower alone doesn't work, and
how breaking free from that numbing starts with its true
understanding where it's really coming from. And we went into
depth about where it comes from, which is really the
heart right and that brain heart kind of dance that's
(01:54):
going on right now, and how you know, recognizing these
unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning to decode what is.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Actually being told.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And we talked about the dopamine oxytocin connection and really
just the need to be needed but not giving ourselves
permission to be needed and to need and the self
sufficiency that comes alongside that. But then also it becomes
an identity and we also feel shame about our shame,
and then all the stuff that's happening within that paradigm.
(02:23):
And so now let's talk about how do we shift
from avoidance to awareness and then obviously the healing side
of it without Like we talked about going back in.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Our you know, old the skeletons of.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Our emotional graveyard, and we talked to a little bit
about how we Yes, there's a bit of embracing the
discomfort and not relying on the short term gratification trap,
which is easier said than done. Right, So how do
we start moving into healing, moving from avoidance to awareness?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Big loaded question that is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I want to back up just a little bit. I
love you said decode, and you also said shame about
our shame, and so it's amazing how far removed we
get from being able to identify our true selves. We
have shame about our shame, and then we say we
shouldn't have shame about our shame, which has a third
level of shame. By the way, I would love for
(03:13):
everybody to back the episode up and just listen to you,
because you are power packed with literally accurate expression of
how we're made and what we're made to do and
so on. So I just hope that people will continue
to come back to any episode you do. And this
says a genuine affirmation, not because I'm on your podcast,
(03:36):
but I mean that you're really bringing a wanting and
a desire for people to get what they need so
they can be set free to go live the lives
they're made to have, because other people's lives get blessed
when we dare to take the journey into healing, because
we become a place that other people can find what
they're looking for. And man, look, other people out there
(03:58):
are alone because we're alone with ourselves, and other people
out there are every bit just like us. No matter
how much they look a certain way and we internally
feel a certain way, they feel the same way. And
if we would just dare to say, hey, do you
somebody else is going to say, yeah, me too. Like
we referred to the woman last time and who went
(04:20):
to her meeting and she looked around the room. Well
me too. I didn't know that could be so close
so fast, the people I've never met before. Yes, this episode,
I want people, if they would to go to chipdawg
dot com, hit free resources and go ahead and download
it's two little bitty expressions. One's called the amazing Gift
(04:41):
of feelings. I'm talking about like three fourths of a page. Please,
you can read that much even in today's fast moving climate.
And the second one is the eight core feelings and
their purposes, Okay, because that is the doorway into the
rest of our lives. With healing, we know that we
(05:01):
our job is to come back to living fully and
then just simply live until you die, but live fully
until you die, because everybody's going to so there's no
end to the journey. There's a reawakening and then acquiring
the skills of living so that you end up riving
to be somebody can who is recognized that they're gifted,
and there's a world in need of our gifts versus
(05:23):
just a shame. And maybe someday, if I work hard enough,
I'll be worth something. You're already worth something, but you
forgot You're already worth something, but it was suppressed. You
were already worth something, but somebody told you you weren't.
And whoever that was was important enough for you to
hide your heart and put your willpower and thinking in
front of it. And so the willpower and the thinking
(05:46):
took over. For how God made a person to be
to use their brains to express their hearts rather than
using their brains and willpower to hide their hearts. Because
once your heart is committed to something, you will will follow,
and once your heart is committed to something, your mind
will engage in attending to it. But anyway, it all
(06:06):
starts with the amazing gift of feelings. So how do
we how do we heal? We have to take a
risk of facing that our feelings are passwords. They help
decode the mechanism, the push button thing to let us
inside ourselves. So feelings are passwords that let you in
yourself on your computer. If you don't know your passwords,
think about the times I've lost my passwords and I
(06:28):
freak out so I can't get in to my whatever,
any of it. I wound up being so helpless that
I want to numb out, run away, escape, you know,
jump off a building, you know, just quit whatever it
is I've had planned to do. So feelings are passwords
and they are also lanterns. So once you get in,
(06:50):
they show you around, and they're also keys. They don't
they unlock rooms in a mansion that we left behind
and never learn how to grow into. So I want
you to know who our true selves are, so much
bigger than we even.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Know it's an abandoned mansion.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yes, it's an abandoned mansion, and it is. And there's
one room that we locked a long time ago. It's
full of light French doors. In the back, there's a
there's a grand piano in there, even we don't we
don't even play. The first is covered with sheets. We
just take the sheets off. But what's amazing is the
one thing that's not uncovered. There's a vase of flowers
(07:29):
sitting on that grand piano with clear water, a clear
vase and fresh flowers picked that morning that still have due.
That mean somebody's been coming into that room waiting and
hoping on our return. In other words, there was a
home we left because on some level we foreclosed on
our hearts or orphaned our hearts. So returning to the feelings, now,
(07:52):
upon the doorway of the human heart, there are written
eight words. I mean, I know it sounds overly simple,
but it isn't. There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame,
so on. You can look them up, but each one
is a tool that allows us to step into what
are our needs and what's through our desire? What are
(08:12):
I long for? What our hope. It's a return to
how it remade, which is what addiction and even our
coping skills take us away from. We try to cope
in such a way that we don't have to feel
or become addicted that don't even know what we feel. Right,
so returning starts to come with blear or not, we
learn four questions. Here are the four questions. Once you
(08:45):
kind of get familiar with taking a risk of believing
you do have feelings, and they're kind of eight of them,
and at first you may not know the eight. But
here's how you can find the eight. You can say,
I don't know what I feel, but what would another
human being feel? In other words, you can picture yourself
being somebody else, what would that person feel in this situation?
(09:06):
Because we've spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other
people to see what we need.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
To do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Then you can know for yourself, or you could say
what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Another way of doing it is describe what it's like
you shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say, now, what
(09:33):
is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
feelings being described? So you get closer, you can also
believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
some ways, but thank God we're actually paying attention to it.
Body keeps the score when the body says no, your
body will tell you an experience. But I want you
to know, don't stop there. Your body's telling you an experience.
(09:54):
And what's your body telling you that it's trying to
tell you that you're feeling? Like, go to your epe
fet Now there are just eight feelings. Well guess what,
there are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book,
The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
eight feelings specifically and how each one has a gift.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
But then how also each one has its own impairment
and how you know kind of when it's like if
they talk about clean pain and dirty pain kind of texting,
you know, and a way to navigate and kind of
again decode your own feelings.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
And so that's so so relevant to this.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I heard it that I've heard it was like a
psycho an actual psychological term that psychologists.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Use, that's impairment. Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
So there you go. We're masterminding right now.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
But I'll just share from your book the eight feelings
are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt, and glad.
And in the I'll blink it in the show notes, we
talked about this in depth when we talked about when
you're on what's God got to do with it?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
But definitely check that out because.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
It really becomes this navigation system, like if you're lost
in the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
You know?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So this is that for the heart.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
In terms of this conversation of healing and what true
healing looks like, you know, we talked about we have
to acknowledge our needs and our emotions and boundaries right
to break the cycle. So before we end, if you
were to just nutshell, what does that process look like?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Like this. It looks like this is there are four
questions we need to answer to really reunite with ourselves.
This is just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which
is kind of like, what am I feeling? It's amazing?
That's God's first questions, where are you? To humanity? And
the answer that God was looking for was emotional and
(11:51):
that's where the human beings said, I was afraid and
this is what I did with it? So where am i?
Which is what am I feeling? What am I doing
with it? What am I doing with where I am?
Which is taking ownership, which is using your mind to
address your motives. And then number three is what happened
(12:11):
or what's happening? What's the story not the rationalization, but
what's the story of how I wound up where I'm
sitting right now or standing? And then the fourth question
is what's this like? And then there's a fifth thing. Finally, First,
you find yourself as much as you can with the
help of others. But then who do I tell? Because
(12:32):
remember you're created for relationship. You're created to find fulfillment
through connection to yourselves, others in God, So you got
to kind of be able to start finding that self
to speak. So the five things, there are four questions
and then the final one, the fifth one is who
do I tell? I mean, who will care who? And
we find out a lot of times we have restricted
(12:54):
our lives to no one first, And I remember that
for myself. I picked up a phone one day. It
was nineteen eighty something, and I've got to call somebody
because I am so lonely. I found the lonely and
I picked up the phone and I ended up looking
the receiver. There was no one. Now I could call
people to see how they were doing, right, totally, how
(13:16):
you doing? Just called to see how you're doing? To
get somebody to care about me? But I need to
carry about them, right, But no one to call to
say I'm in need. And there are a lot of
people out there who are really needing to hear somebody
say I get it, you know, like you know, yeah, sorry,
that's where it starts flu do I tell? Yeah? And
it's okay. If you find no one.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
At fresh, that's okay. It's not bad. It's part of again,
it's part of what. That's the way it goes. It's
a product exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
It's an awareness of like Okay, maybe this is something
to look into, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So and yeah, we talked a.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Lot about that on episode one of this series of
really you know, finding that the need to be needed,
but also knowing that it's human of you and that's
something that needs to be addressed because it's.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Not going to go away and to require nisire.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, and you know, it's so good to leanne because
you know, we have to face that we can't give
what we don't have. And if I'm not good at
knowing what feelings are also if I'm not good at needing,
can I really step into the needs of another. Really,
I can't give what I don't have if I if
I don't know what it is to be in need,
then on some level I might meet your needs. But
(14:21):
I'm doing it for me, not as a way of
relating to you, but really relating, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Absolutely, So wow, so good recovery. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing,
And definitely go.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Over to Chipdodd dot com and find out all of
the resources.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
If you click on free resources.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Over there, you'll get the amazing gift of feelings in
those eight core feelings and their purposes. When you go
over to that page and definitely check out his Living
with Heart podcasts.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
He gets to be all of who he is and teach.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
What I would say is, really, you know, you you
beautifully take the voice of the heart, but you back
it up with science, and then you back it up
with stories and experiences and you share your own and
those of you know, decades of working in the recovery world.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing, Leanne. You
will you will have a longevity in terms of the
passions of your heart almost certainly for as long as
you're here. Okay, And see, I want your audience to
hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
(15:24):
I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
passion that comes out of kind of like honestly, look
at Anger chapter in the Voice of the Heart. Anger
is essentially was wanting something, desiring something, longing for something.
Once you have that, you'll get tired, but you your
candle doesn't go out, right, Wow, thank.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
You for sharing that. Yeah, I needed to hear that.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I know everyone out there that's Candle's gone out needed
to hear that.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Absolutely it'll reignite.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Absolutely love it. Well, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
We will be back next week for our fourth and
final part of the series, talking about the courage to
feel and transforming your relationship with emotions. So we kind
of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
going to get to the core of.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
That center of that onion next week. So thanks for
being here and we'll see you next week. Bye, thank you.
We'll be back with more What's God Got to Do
with It?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
But in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear
from you, so just tell me where you are in
your story or maybe what questions you have, like where
do you feel you need clarity or support or wisdom
in your own journey. I definitely want to hear from you,
So head on over to What's God Got to Do
with It? Dot com and scroll down to the form
(16:38):
to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback and.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
You can do that instantly. So What's God Got to
Do with It? Dot Com? You'll find all the ways
to do that.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose of What's God
Got to Do With It? New episodes drop every single Tuesday,
and while you're there, be sure to rate and review
to show your support.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
It really means so much.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
What's God Got to Do With It is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
It's written and.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Hosted by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio,
post production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music
written by Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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