January 24, 2026 • 35 mins
What if you’re not stuck or blocked in your writing? What if you’re just confused about where the writing process actually begins?
In this episode, I address the common feeling that come at the start of a writing assignment or creative process and help you see that what feels like “stuck” might actually be the very progress you’ve been longing for.
Before you believe you’re stuck, listen to this.
If you’re ready to begin writing your story, please take advantage of my BIG December gift to writers: more than 75% off my signature course A Book in Six Months. Use code GRATITUDE at checkout to get this $999 product for only $222.
Host: Ally Fallon // @allyfallon // allisonfallon.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write. All the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when
you write your story. You got the words and said,
don't you think it's down to let them out and
write them down and coverard it's all about and write
(00:22):
your story. Write you write your story. Hi, and welcome
back to the Write Your Story Podcast. I'm Ali Fallon,
I'm your host, and Marry Christmas Week to you if
you are a one who celebrates Christmas. If you're listening
to this the day that it drops, we are right
in the midst of Christmas Week. We're heading into Christmas
(00:44):
Eve tomorrow. In our family, we have my son's birthday
on the twenty eighth, so we've got a whole week
ahead of celebrating and being together and hopefully disconnecting a
little bit and just having some time together as a family.
I'm really looking forward to that. We've got obviously Christmas
Eve Day and then Charlie's birthday is on the twenty eighth,
and then New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, and
it's this time of year I feel like everyone is
(01:06):
just kind of powering down it's the winter solstice, it's
cold outside, it's Christmas season. Everyone's kind of signing off
of their devices, signing off from you know, their computers,
taking a break from work and getting to just settle
in and be present with those around him. And it's
such a special special time of year because of that,
and I'm feeling the magic of it this year, maybe
(01:29):
because I have little kids. I've got an almost four
year old Charlie will be four on the twenty eighth,
and a five year old, and they're just at the
perfect pristine ages where they're so excited for Christmas and
for Santa Claus, and Charlie for his birthday, and there's
just so much anticipation in our house that I'm just
like over the moon. I can't believe how lucky I
am and how excited I am that we all get
(01:50):
to be together for the Christmas season. And Matt, my husband,
has been traveling quite a bit, and he'll be home
and so it'll just be so nice to all be together.
I hope that wherever you are, wherever you're listening to this,
even if this is after the New Year, or that
you're hearing this, that you're feeling a little bit of that,
a little bit of the magic of the winter season.
Doesn't even have to be Christmas. Maybe you celebrate Hanukah
or something different, but whatever you celebrate this time of year,
(02:12):
I mean, it is the winter solstice, it's getting colder.
It is a time of year where just instinctually, naturally,
you're more inclined to be inside, to maybe be making
food from scratch, like making soups or baking things. And
it's darker for longer periods of time, and so you
know you're inside, You're more like you're hibernating. We're all
(02:34):
just animals, right, hibernating for the winter. And so this
topic that I want to talk about today is right
in line with that. There is a parallel here that
I want to discuss that has to do with your
writing life, but also has to do with just your
creative life in general. And by that I don't mean
like a piece of art that you're making necessarily, although
(02:56):
it could be that could be reflective of it, but
I just mean the life that you are creating with
your own unique creative energy, the field that you're creating
around you, the things that you're pulling into the physical
from scratch. You know, whatever it is you're making, whether
you're making a business, or you're making a family, or
you're making an impact out there in the world, or
you're making art actually itself, like maybe you're making music
(03:19):
or you're writing a book or something. Whatever it is
you're doing. What I want to talk about today really
lines up with this feeling of wintering. I've recorded a
whole episode in the past on this concept of wintering.
Catherine May wrote a book called Wintering, and I recorded
an entire episode on it because I was so just
struck by this concept when I first heard of it.
(03:40):
It made so much sense to me, and it made
me understand myself why I was having so much resistance
to setting New Year's resolutions in the way that we
were typically taught to do it and in the way
that so many people still do set New Year's resolutions.
I was feeling this internal resistance to it. And when
I read that book, everything clicked into place and I
was like, oh, oh, no, wonder, I feel so much
(04:01):
resistance to this, the sort of outward motion of like
go achieve and get something in the middle of the winter,
because our instincts as animals is to hibernate in the winter.
At the same time that I was feeling that resistance
to setting a typical New Year's resolution, I don't think
that that means that the turning of the new year
(04:23):
can't be a time for us to reflect on our
lives and really ask ourselves what do I want to
be making? What do I want to be creating in
my space? And specifically today, I want to talk about
what do I want to be writing? Is there an idea?
Is there something that is germinating in your mind right now,
(04:45):
in your heart, in your body, a book idea or
another creative idea that's asking you to pay attention, that's
asking you to notice, that's asking you to nurture it
and to bring attention to it and to feed it
and to wait for it and to bring it into existence.
Because this time of year where we're hibernating, is a
(05:06):
perfect time of year to be thinking about that. It's
a perfect time of year to slow way the heck down,
to work less, to run around less. You know, in
the summer, like there's so much energy, it's so warm outside.
Everyone's out out out and about doing all kinds of things,
and there's that heightened energy in the summer. In the winter,
we come inside, we slow way down, we spend more
(05:28):
time with family and friends. It's a more grounded time
of year, and so there's an opportunity for you to
really nurture something into existence and to listen deeply to
whether or not there is something that wants to be
nurtured into existence. So this is what I want to
talk about today. I feel like this theme is popping
up in my life in so many different ways. The
main way, the main reason I wanted to record this
(05:50):
episode and talk about this topic is because I do
feel like there's a book idea that's talking to me.
And let me tell you, after writing four books of
my own and ten books for other people, you would
think that I'm an expert on this topic and that
I have this you know process. And I've also helped hundreds,
if not a thousand people to sit down and outline
their books. I've edited I don't know how many dozens
(06:12):
of books I've helped people get published. Like I've been
doing this work for so many years and I'm so
familiar with the process that you would think, like, oh,
now she must have it down. It must not affect
her the way that it affects other people. No, no, no,
this I'm reminded with this book that's kind of whispering
to me that the same feeling that authors always talk
(06:34):
to me about feeling, the same words that I've heard
out of other people's mouths, the same words that I
have invested my entire career to helping people understand and
integrate and move through. I'm having this same exact experience
of being an utter beginner at this, even though I have,
you know, written so many books in my life. So
it just a good reminder to you that if you
(06:56):
feel the feelings, if you have a book idea, that's
kind of whispering to you, and you're just like, I
don't know what I'm doing. I don't even think I'm
a writer. I don't know if this book idea has
any merit. I don't know if anyone else would be
interested in this. I don't even know if this makes
sense or if it could come together as a book.
Just know, like, those feelings are so normal and real
that even after writing fourteen books, I still feel those
(07:18):
feelings every single time a book idea comes into my space.
And I was just thinking this week about how I
think this is unintentional part of the process, or I
don't know if intentional is the right word. It's built in,
It's meant to be this way. It's not meant to
be any different. We're not meant to master this feeling
of creativity at the beginning, the threshold of the start
(07:40):
of something. I think we're supposed to feel a bit unmored.
I think that's part of the process. Is meant to
put us back in touch with our own humanity, and
it's designed to make us feel like, uh, like I
have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know if
I'm good enough to bring this to fruition. I don't
even know if this idea is any good. Also, am
(08:00):
I even hearing what I think I'm hearing? So this
is what I want to talk about today, is where
the writing process actually begins, because I think that many
of us think that the writing process begins when we
sit down to the computer and we put our fingers
to the keys and the words start flowing and we
actually start typing sentences in chapters. And I believe the
writing process happens way, way sooner than that. And if
(08:23):
you aren't attuned to these signs, you won't notice that
they're happening. And you actually, in my opinion, won't ever
really get to the sitting at the computer typing on
the keys portion of the process. Or you will, but
you'll be writing a book that's not actually the book
that's inviting you or or calling to you. This is just,
you know, this is how I experience the writing process
(08:44):
and the creative process in general. Because for me, I said,
this theme is popping up in many different places in
my life. It's not just in the realm of writing
that this idea is popping up. It's also popping up
in the realm of something I've talked about a few
times on the podcast, which is wanting to grow our
face family. There is this distinct feeling that parallels the
writing process where I feel kind of insane because I'm
(09:10):
forty two years old. My kids are four and five
years old. They're putting on their own shoes, they're getting dressed,
They're you know, safe to go out in the driveway.
I don't worry that one of them is going to
like run into traffic. Nobody's in diapers, like we are
out of the baby phase. Of life. And I'm also
forty two years old and my husband is forty five,
so we could very easily kind of wrap things up
(09:30):
and tie things up and move on to the next
phase of our life. Like my mother in law's talking
about taking the family to Italy in October, and I'm like,
that sounds amazing. And yet and yet, and this is
what I want to focus on for today's episode. And
yet there is this distinct feeling like we are not
done growing our family, like there is another baby out
(09:51):
there for us. And I've been listening for a while.
You know that I have had a couple of miscarriages,
so you know, if if I had carried those pregnancies
to term, there already would be another baby in our family.
And for whatever reason that I don't totally understand, and
I think that's an important piece of it. For a
reason that I do not understand at all, this idea
that there's another baby out there that I want to
(10:14):
invite into our family is not one that has been
easily put to bed. And listen, I've said this before.
I'm so open to the facts that I don't have
control over this set of circumstances. I'm open to the
fact that I am forty two years old. It may
we may try all the things that a couple can try,
and it may the door may close for us, and
(10:35):
I may need to move on and listen, I'm gonna
go to Italy. I'm gonna We're gonna book. I don't know,
I'm being sort of facetious, but like book a trip
to the Bahamas, Like we're gonna go travel, We're gonna
have fun. I'm gonna have a blast with my two
kids and my husband, whom I love, and we're gonna
have a lovely family and lots and lots of things
to be grateful for. But I think it's important that
(10:57):
I pay attention to these longings, this inexplicable urge. I
told a friend of mine the other day, I have
an inexplicable urge. I cannot explain. I don't understand it
for another baby, And until I make peace with that,
or until it becomes clear that that door is closed,
I am still in this liminal space where I'm wondering,
(11:18):
like I can't stop paying attention to that thing. And
here's the parallel that I want to make is that
your writing life has a similar element to it. There
may be for you a book idea that's calling to you,
that's inviting you, that's saying like it's just whispering to you,
like you might be having dreams. It might be popping
(11:38):
into your brain at different times of the day, and
you might in your logical brain go like this is insane.
I've never written a book before. I don't know the
first thing about writing a book. I'm not an author.
I'm not even a writer, like I have a job.
I'm a mom like I you know, all these other
things going on, like I don't need something else to
add to my calendar, to my schedule. I'm busy, like
I'm full up. And yet and yet, and yet this
(12:01):
book idea doesn't seem to want to leave you alone.
And so what do we do with this? This, I believe,
is where the writing process really begins. It doesn't begin
when your fingers at the keys. It doesn't begin when
you read the positive pregnancy test, although sometimes it does
happen that way. I mean with my first two children,
you know, Matt and I were like very open to
having children ride away. Once we got married and I
(12:21):
got pregnant, I literally took a positive pregnancy test on
my honeymoon with Nella and so, and same with Charlie.
Like Charlie was not a planned pregnancy, but a very
welcome to pregnancy. But I remember taking the pregnancy test,
seeing that it was positive and just being like blown
away because I had a seven month old. So sometimes
these things are dropped into our lives, and maybe an
(12:44):
opportunity comes to you, maybe for this has happened to
many authors I've worked with, where an opportunity comes to
you that came out of nowhere that you didn't see coming.
Maybe a publisher literally calls you up and is like, hey,
we need an author to come write this book. Would
you be interested? And there's alignment and it feels good
and you jump in and you signed the contract and
it's like, WHOA, I didn't even have to work for that.
That was so easy. And other times there's a whisper,
(13:07):
there's a longing, there's like a sense that there's something
out there that you haven't touched yet, but that you
want to touch, and it won't seem to leave you alone.
And I really do believe deeply that these whispers, these
longings are an invitation to cross a threshold into the unknown,
(13:28):
and to accept the challenge of living with that unknown
and entering into a long term conversation without knowing what
the outcome will be. And I think this is what's
so terrifying about writing a book, and it's one of
the reasons why people want to hire a publishing coach.
And as I move away from publishing coaching, this is
a tension that I enter into with some I've still
worked with a handful of clients here and there, like
(13:50):
through referrals or whatever, and people really want someone to
tell them here are the steps to take to get published.
They want. You know, when I talk to people, I'm like,
what are your goals? They're like, oh, to be a
New York Times best selling author, and more power to you.
I have always wanted to be a New York Times
bestselling author, and there's still a part of me, if
I'm being honest, that desires that, or wants that, or
(14:10):
looks to that. And yet the desire has lessened over
time as I have engaged myself with the process of
writing and as I've helped so many people write, and
I've realized what the real magic of the writing process is.
I'm not saying i'd be lying if I said, oh,
I don't care about the New York Times List anymore.
But I will say that the pull and the draw
on the New York Times List has shifted for me
(14:32):
over time as I've realized what the true magic of
this writing process is, because people come into it and
they go, Okay, tell me what the path is. I've
never done this before. I want to map. I want
to know, like, how do I get an agent, how
do I get the right publisher, how do I get
a good book contract, how do I get my book
on the New York Times List? How do I write
the best book possible? How do I write something that's
really going to speak to people? And it's not that
(14:53):
these questions are bad questions or wrong by any stretch
of the imagination. But here's where I think we get
our into trouble, is that what's really trying to happen.
I believe when you enter into any creative process is
you're being invited to have a conversation with the unknown.
You're being invited to have a conversation with something that
(15:14):
is not totally clear to you yet. And in order
to enter into that, there really can't be a map.
There is no map, there is no understanding it, there
is no feeling secure. Like I said at the beginning
of this episode, there is no like, well, I've done
this fourteen times, so I know how this works, and good,
like I've got this, you know, under wraps, check check check. No. No,
(15:34):
this would be my fifteenth book. And still there's a
part of me that's just like no, no, Like I
don't know what I'm doing. I could never possibly write
this book that you're inviting me to write. And yet
the idea still keeps whispering, And no matter how much
I want to ignore it or try to ignore it,
it still just keeps kind of tugging on my shirt sleeves.
So if you have an idea like that, maybe it's
a writing idea. Maybe you have a book like I'm
(15:56):
talking about, that's that's you know, kind of inviting you
into a relationship with it. Maybe for you it's something
different like what I talked about with this inexplicable urge
to have a baby. Maybe you have an inexplicable urge
to start a nonprofit or to you know, another here's
another example. Just so that you can get your own
juices flowing or think about what this might look like
(16:17):
for you. But another thing that my husband and I
keep talking about is really wanting to pull people together
in community. This when we moved to Nashville and we
had this dream of building a man made surfing community
(16:38):
here in Tennessee, this is what the dream was really about.
It was about bringing people together around the values of
surf culture. Because we moved from LA Matt became a
surfer as he was living in LA and we really
loved the concepts that surfing brings to the table. These
values of shared resources, a value of you know, living
(17:01):
simply living with only the things that you need, sharing
your resources with your neighbors, coming together in community, being
connected to the earth. You know, there's something so mind
blowing about sitting on a surfboard out in the middle
of the ocean. It's a feeling that I can't quite describe,
and I really have not done it that many times
in my life. My husband has done much more surfing
(17:21):
than I've done, but I have been surfing a handful
of times, and there's just something that nothing else can
match that feeling of sitting out on a surfboard and
just being swallowed up by the vastness of the ocean.
And so these are the values that we really wanted
to bring to this surfing community in Tennessee. When the
opportunity was brought to us to build this man made
(17:43):
surfing lagoon in Tennessee, we thought, like, how cool would
it be to build a community where people could come together,
They could connect with each other, they could connect with themselves,
they could connect with nature. They could be together as
a family and as a community and share resources and
eat meals together and you know, be barefoot and live
this grounded life and connect to nature and like just
(18:04):
really be appreciative for the things that we have and
see life as the miracle that it is. And that
was the dream that was the original dream of the
surfing community. It became something very different along the way,
because you know, money drives the ship with these big developments,
and so it turned into something that I don't think
that we it wasn't the original dream that we had
started with by the time we finished. And so in
(18:26):
that way, it maybe was a blessing in disguise that
the whole thing fell apart. But my point is I
took a long tangent there to say that the point
is that since the dream has died. Matt and I
have said many times to each other, like, maybe we
just bring community together in East Nashville. Maybe we find
like a small place for people to meet. Maybe we
start with our house and we invite people here, and
(18:46):
maybe we do, you know, still include some of those
surfing values, like, actually, maybe we do some yoga. I'm
trained as a yoga teacher now, so could we do
some yoga in our yard? Could we maybe buy a
sauna and a cold plunge and have people come dou
soon a cold plunge and hot cold therapy here. Maybe
we could do breath work. Maybe we could meditate together.
Maybe we could have a book club, you know, maybe
we could feed people. I don't know, but just finding
(19:09):
ways to bring people together. It's like the seed of
an idea that feels overwhelming because we're at the start
of it, and you go, what is this going to
turn into? Is this going to be a waste of
my time? This feels like a universal question that people
ask at the beginning of a creative project, whatever the
creative project is, is this going to be a waste
of my time? Am I going to dump you know,
(19:31):
years of my life and thousands of dollars or sometimes
hundreds of thousands of dollars, or in the case of
the Serve community, millions of dollars into this idea to
build it, and then at the end of the day,
the whole thing's going to fall apart and it's going
to be a waste of time. And I have noticed
that since our big fall apart with this community that
we tried to build, that I have felt a little
(19:52):
bit more skittish about trying things. My whole life, I
have had like a feeling of bravery, almost like invincible invincibility,
Like I'm like, I can try anything, and the universe
just rises to meet me, The ground just rises up
underneath of me, and things just always kind of work
out for me. And after this fall apart happened, I've
noticed myself feeling more skittish. I'm like, oh gosh, like
(20:15):
do I want to try that? Do I want to
start that? Do I want to invest in that? And
so I mean, I'm working through that. But I guess
my point is that whatever it is that is calling
to you, whatever the inexplicable urge is for you, whether
it's a book, whether it's a baby, whether it's a community,
whether it's a nonprofit, whether it's a business, whether it's whatever,
whatever it is that's calling to you in this next season,
(20:36):
the beginning is going to feel unstable. It's going to
feel unsturdy, it's going to feel uncertain, and maybe that's
all part of the point. There's no way for it
to feel certain. I think this is one thing, one
point that I really want to drive home, is that
there's no way for me, even as a publishing coach
or a writing coach or whatever, if I'm helping you
(20:57):
with your book. What I can do is offer a
content for you to be in the chaos, and I
can kind of hold this space strongly so that you
can be in your chaos of the creative process. But
what I can't do is tell you, Oh, I can
guarantee you that you are going to finish this book
at X state, or you're going to get this publisher,
or you're going to you know, be on this trajectory,
(21:18):
or yeah, I can promise you that you're going to
get on a best seller's list. Nobody can promise you
any of that, and if they say they can, they're
not being truthful. All I can promise you is that
if you say yes to this journey, that the journey
will absolutely transform you from start to finish. And I
can speak that with utter assurance after this crazy rollercoaster
(21:39):
that we've been on with the surfing community, that even
after the devastation, even after all the losses, I mean,
I have been through, like you know, if you've been
around here listening, near bankruptcy, like just absolute devastation and
loss of years of our life and so much of
our energy and attention. And it's so devastating to come
on the other side of it and realize, like this
(22:00):
isn't going to work, Your work is not going to
pay off in the way that you hoped it would.
And yet I can tell you that this experience changed
us forever, and changed us in a really positive way forever.
There are still pieces that feel sad, be I'd be
lying if I said that there weren't. And yet I
have come to the place where I'm starting to feel
(22:23):
gratitude for the loss because of what it's taught us,
because of the way that it's changed us. So back
to this, where does the writing process actually start, or
where does the creative process actually start? I think This
is the point of the message that I'm trying to
speak today, is that your writing process doesn't start when
your fingers hit the keys. Your writing process starts before that.
(22:44):
It starts when the idea starts whispering to you, when
the idea starts pulling at your shirt sleeves, when it
starts waking you up in the middle of the night,
when that inexplicable urge is calling you forward. It starts
when you choose to say yes to that inexplicable urge
without knowing how things are going to turn out. And
I really feel like I'm in the depths of this
(23:05):
process with not only the book, but also with this
idea of growing our family. We're in a weird phase where,
you know, I've had multiple losses. We don't really understand
why the losses are happening. I'm, you know, without getting
too much into the weeds of this, like I have
doctor's appointments scheduled, appointments scheduled with fertility clinic. We'll try
to get to the bottom of these certain things. But
(23:27):
even with modern medicine being as advanced as it is,
even with the science that's available to us, there's no
guarantee that we will be able to fully understand why
these things are happening the way that they are. And
even beyond that, there's no guarantee that we will be
able to bring into fruition the baby that we are
(23:47):
asking for or desiring or wanting. You know, And I
think this is one of the ways that this experience
with the surfing community has changed me, is I would
have just said before all of this happened, I would
have said, you know, if you are earned, and you ask,
and you put in the work, and you heal and
you do, you know, you follow the stepping stones that
are put in front of you, like, you'll always get
(24:08):
what you wanted. You'll always get what you were after,
because in the past I always have. It hasn't always
come in the timing that I thought it was going to,
but I always have been able to achieve the thing
that I was after. Now I feel like the lesson
(24:32):
that I've walked away with is that even when you
don't achieve the thing that you're after, one thing I
can promise you is that the effort you put in
will never come back void. It will never be for nothing.
It will always be for something. It just might not
be for the something that you thought it was going
to be for. And so you know, I'm using this
as an example, but like for me, this inexplicable urge
(24:54):
to have a baby, there's part of me that wants
to be like, you know, it's too risky to invest
more time and more energy at my age and with
all the respectors and whatever, this and that, like, let's
just move on with our lives. But I think I
don't think. I know that I would always live with
this question mark and with an ache of wondering what
if I would have listened, What if I would have
(25:16):
listened to that still small voice that's inside of me
that's calling me forward? What if I would have trusted that?
What if I would have continued to have faith and
take the steps. It's so hard to have faith after
a loss. And that's maybe something that I need to
say really clearly too, is that maybe you, like me,
have had a big loss of some kind. The pine
of Serf Club was a loss for us, but so
(25:38):
have the babies. The miscarriages have also been big losses
for us. And so maybe you have a loss that
makes you feel nervous to step in faith, step forward
in faith with whatever the thing is that's inviting you,
and even with those losses top of mind, I want
to just invite you and encourage you to continue stepping
(26:02):
forward in faith, because not faith that you're going to
get the thing you asked for. You may not. And
this is I think the big learning, the wisdom that
has come from the last five years of my life.
You may not. You'll run into a lot of people
who will tell you if you just believe you'll get
everything you ever asked for, you may not get the
(26:23):
thing that you asked for. You might not. And I'm
sorry to be that bearer of bad news, but what
you get in return will be infinitely better than what
you asked for. And that might not even make sense
to your brain right now, because when I think about
I'm not even fully there yet with the surfing community.
I feel like, because what we lost was so massive
(26:44):
and so devastating, I'm far enough on the other side
that I'm starting to see the blessings that I couldn't
see before. But I'm not fully out of the woods.
Does that make sense? So I'm just barely starting to
catch a whiff of what happens when you step fully
in faith follow the thing. Maybe you don't get what
(27:05):
you were after, but you get something that is better.
That might not have seemed better to the old version
of you, but to the new version of you. She
has a higher consciousness, so she recognizes this as better.
And I'm just barely becoming the person who can recognize
this as better. It's like the pain that I suffered
has made me a more compassionate person, which is better
(27:29):
than building some massive thing that people are very impressed by.
So the book that's calling to you, I think this
is the paradigm shift that I'm introducing or offering to you,
is that if a book is calling to you, and
if you're wondering to yourself if this is going to
be worth it? Is this going to be a waste
of time? Do I even have what it takes? Is
this book idea any good? Do I even want to
(27:49):
take the risk on it? The fact of the matter
is the truth that nobody wants to tell you is
that the book idea may not become what you want
it to become. It may may not be a New
York Times bestseller. It may not be a book that
anyone else reads. It may not be a book that
you decide you want to share. It may not be
a book that is a page turner from start to finish.
(28:11):
It may who knows what it will become. It could
become any of those things. But you don't get to
know at the beginning of the process. All you get
to know is that the invitation is there, and you
get to choose whether you want to step into it
or not. And then once you step into the invitation,
you allow and you receive the transformation that the invitation
(28:33):
is here to offer you. That's really what the process
is about, is the transformation. So you step into the unknown.
You don't know how things are going to turn out.
There is no guarantee of an outcome. There's no guarantee
of a book. There's no guarantee of a baby, there's
no guarantee of a financial windfall, none of it. You
get no guarantees. But you step in with faith, trusting
that this whisper means something, that it's coming from somewhere.
(28:57):
And I think that's this is the part that has
been so hard for me to find faith in again,
is trusting that those whispers mean something and that they're
calling me somewhere meaningful because I had those whispers with
the surfing community and it felt for a while like
I was led into the wilderness. I was led into
(29:17):
the dark. And it's taken me a minute to be like,
oh wait, okay, I'm seeing the fruit, I'm seeing the lessons.
I'm beginning to feel gratitude for, you know, what's come
out of this dark circumstance. But it can be tricky
when you feel like, Okay, I listened to that voice
in the past and it led me, you know, astray.
And so what I'm offering, what I'm inviting you to do,
(29:41):
is if you have a book idea that's tugging at you,
to listen to the voice, to trust that it's leading
you somewhere, to trust that it's meaningful. And you actually
don't need someone else to tell you. You don't need
to call me up and say, ali's this book idea
even any good. You can trust yourself that because you
have the book idea, because it won't leave you alone,
because you you have this inexplicable urge the book idea
(30:03):
is leading you somewhere meaningful. You just don't get to
know where that meaningful place is yet or what it's
going to bring into your life. But I can promise you,
promise you, promise you that any creative project that comes
into your space comes in to invite you into a deeper, fuller,
bigger version of yourself, to invite you into more meaning,
(30:23):
more joy, more gratitude, more depth, more contentment, more peace,
all of it. That's what a creative project is. That's
what a creative project does for you. And we've really
lost the plot, I think in our culture, making it
about the outcome and even the way that manifestation is taught.
It's not that I believe that manifestation isn't a thing
(30:44):
or doesn't happen, but I think the way manifestation is
taught focuses so much on the outcome that we really
miss the point that the outcome was never the point.
The black Mercedes that you were trying to manifest was
never the point. And Mary and Williamson, I mean, I
come back to this example lot, but Marian Williamson talks
about this like you can manifest a black Mercedes by
visualizing it and thinking about it and making your vision
(31:06):
board and talking about it in mantras and affirmations and
all the things. But then what then you get the
black Mercedes and so freaking what, like, how does that
change your life? Really? And I know that's a simple example.
It's harder to say that when you're talking about something
like a baby, because of course a baby is more
meaningful and weighty and important than a black Mercedes. But
(31:27):
we can get into that same trap with whatever it
is that we're trying to manifest, making it about the thing,
about the book, about the baby, about the community, about
the whatever, especially if what you're trying to make feels
like it's purpose driven, you know, like you're trying to
create a nonprofit that's going to help people so much,
and you're like, this is so meaningful, like of course
(31:48):
you know, of course I'm supposed to manifest this. Of
course this is supposed to be in the world. But
what if the thing that you're trying to manifest isn't
nearly as important as what's being made manifest in you
and through you. So the writing process doesn't really begin
when you put your fingers to the keys. The creative
process doesn't begin, you know, when you take the positive
pregnancy test. It really begins way before that. It begins
(32:09):
with a deep inner listening to what is happening, and
with becoming settled, becoming content, becoming at peace with and
learning to trust. That's it. It's really learning to have
faith in that voice inside of you that's saying, Okay,
this is what I want you to do. This is
(32:30):
what this is about. This is what the next step
that I want you to take. Trusting enough to take
that next step without knowing what the outcome is going
to be. Trusting knowing what the outcome is going to
be is not trusting. Not knowing what the outcome is
going to be is where all the learning lives. And
that's the invitation in this advent season that we're in,
(32:52):
in this wintering season, in this time of hibernation, this
deep inner listening. What a perfect time for deep inner listening.
Listen deeply to what's being asked of you, and be
willing to take the next step, even if you don't
know how this is going to turn out. If the
thing that's being asked of you, if the voice is
whispering about a book, don't forget that you still have
(33:14):
a week left to purchase a book in six months
at its discounted rate, highly highly discounted rate. When you
go to a book in six months dot com, type
in the code Gratitude at checkout, and it will discount
your course from nine hundred and ninety nine dollars to
two hundred and twenty two dollars just until the end
of the year. So until January first, that course is
(33:35):
available at that discounted rate. This course is a self
guided course that's going to walk you through the process
of writing your manuscript from start to finish for two
hundred and twenty two dollars. So imagine that in June
or July of this year you could have a finished manuscript,
or you can also move through it at your own pace.
If you want to move through a little slower and
take your time, then maybe by the end of twenty
twenty six you have a finished manuscript. The course is
(33:58):
really designed with this in mind, from this place of
knowing that if you have a book idea that's calling
to you, the book needs to be written. Who cares
about how you publish it or if you publish it,
or when you publish it or when it's finished. What's
most important is that you listen to the call, that
you step into this, that you actually write the book
and so the course is designed to guide you through
(34:20):
the process of writing your manuscript without worrying about how
it's going to get published. When all is said and done,
there is a module that teaches you about the different
publishing options, just to show you what your options are,
so to show you that you don't need to be
pigeonholed with one publishing choice, and that in twenty twenty
five and twenty twenty six you have infinite options available
to you. But the course is really focused on getting
(34:42):
you to better understand the idea that is trying to
come through you. So if that's you, if you have
a book idea that's whispering to you, I hope this
course is a blessing to you. I hope the discount
is a blessing to you. I hope you buy yourself
a nice little Christmas present, or buy the Christmas present
for someone that you love, or buy it as a
(35:02):
New Year's present, or just buy it as a a
non holiday present, a gift to yourself. Wherever this finds you,
whatever you're up against, just know that I'm in it
with you, that I love you, I'm sending you a
huge hug this holiday season, and I will see you
back next week on the Write Your Story podcast.
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write. All the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when
you write your story. You got the words and said,
don't you think it's down to let them out and
write them down and coverard it's all about and write
(00:22):
your story. Write you write your story. Hi, and welcome
back to the Write Your Story Podcast. I'm Ali Fallon,
I'm your host, and Marry Christmas Week to you if
you are a one who celebrates Christmas. If you're listening
to this the day that it drops, we are right
in the midst of Christmas Week. We're heading into Christmas
(00:44):
Eve tomorrow. In our family, we have my son's birthday
on the twenty eighth, so we've got a whole week
ahead of celebrating and being together and hopefully disconnecting a
little bit and just having some time together as a family.
I'm really looking forward to that. We've got obviously Christmas
Eve Day and then Charlie's birthday is on the twenty eighth,
and then New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, and
it's this time of year I feel like everyone is
(01:06):
just kind of powering down it's the winter solstice, it's
cold outside, it's Christmas season. Everyone's kind of signing off
of their devices, signing off from you know, their computers,
taking a break from work and getting to just settle
in and be present with those around him. And it's
such a special special time of year because of that,
and I'm feeling the magic of it this year, maybe
(01:29):
because I have little kids. I've got an almost four
year old Charlie will be four on the twenty eighth,
and a five year old, and they're just at the
perfect pristine ages where they're so excited for Christmas and
for Santa Claus, and Charlie for his birthday, and there's
just so much anticipation in our house that I'm just
like over the moon. I can't believe how lucky I
am and how excited I am that we all get
(01:50):
to be together for the Christmas season. And Matt, my husband,
has been traveling quite a bit, and he'll be home
and so it'll just be so nice to all be together.
I hope that wherever you are, wherever you're listening to this,
even if this is after the New Year, or that
you're hearing this, that you're feeling a little bit of that,
a little bit of the magic of the winter season.
Doesn't even have to be Christmas. Maybe you celebrate Hanukah
or something different, but whatever you celebrate this time of year,
(02:12):
I mean, it is the winter solstice, it's getting colder.
It is a time of year where just instinctually, naturally,
you're more inclined to be inside, to maybe be making
food from scratch, like making soups or baking things. And
it's darker for longer periods of time, and so you
know you're inside, You're more like you're hibernating. We're all
(02:34):
just animals, right, hibernating for the winter. And so this
topic that I want to talk about today is right
in line with that. There is a parallel here that
I want to discuss that has to do with your
writing life, but also has to do with just your
creative life in general. And by that I don't mean
like a piece of art that you're making necessarily, although
(02:56):
it could be that could be reflective of it, but
I just mean the life that you are creating with
your own unique creative energy, the field that you're creating
around you, the things that you're pulling into the physical
from scratch. You know, whatever it is you're making, whether
you're making a business, or you're making a family, or
you're making an impact out there in the world, or
you're making art actually itself, like maybe you're making music
(03:19):
or you're writing a book or something. Whatever it is
you're doing. What I want to talk about today really
lines up with this feeling of wintering. I've recorded a
whole episode in the past on this concept of wintering.
Catherine May wrote a book called Wintering, and I recorded
an entire episode on it because I was so just
struck by this concept when I first heard of it.
(03:40):
It made so much sense to me, and it made
me understand myself why I was having so much resistance
to setting New Year's resolutions in the way that we
were typically taught to do it and in the way
that so many people still do set New Year's resolutions.
I was feeling this internal resistance to it. And when
I read that book, everything clicked into place and I
was like, oh, oh, no, wonder, I feel so much
(04:01):
resistance to this, the sort of outward motion of like
go achieve and get something in the middle of the winter,
because our instincts as animals is to hibernate in the winter.
At the same time that I was feeling that resistance
to setting a typical New Year's resolution, I don't think
that that means that the turning of the new year
(04:23):
can't be a time for us to reflect on our
lives and really ask ourselves what do I want to
be making? What do I want to be creating in
my space? And specifically today, I want to talk about
what do I want to be writing? Is there an idea?
Is there something that is germinating in your mind right now,
(04:45):
in your heart, in your body, a book idea or
another creative idea that's asking you to pay attention, that's
asking you to notice, that's asking you to nurture it
and to bring attention to it and to feed it
and to wait for it and to bring it into existence.
Because this time of year where we're hibernating, is a
(05:06):
perfect time of year to be thinking about that. It's
a perfect time of year to slow way the heck down,
to work less, to run around less. You know, in
the summer, like there's so much energy, it's so warm outside.
Everyone's out out out and about doing all kinds of things,
and there's that heightened energy in the summer. In the winter,
we come inside, we slow way down, we spend more
(05:28):
time with family and friends. It's a more grounded time
of year, and so there's an opportunity for you to
really nurture something into existence and to listen deeply to
whether or not there is something that wants to be
nurtured into existence. So this is what I want to
talk about today. I feel like this theme is popping
up in my life in so many different ways. The
main way, the main reason I wanted to record this
(05:50):
episode and talk about this topic is because I do
feel like there's a book idea that's talking to me.
And let me tell you, after writing four books of
my own and ten books for other people, you would
think that I'm an expert on this topic and that
I have this you know process. And I've also helped hundreds,
if not a thousand people to sit down and outline
their books. I've edited I don't know how many dozens
(06:12):
of books I've helped people get published. Like I've been
doing this work for so many years and I'm so
familiar with the process that you would think, like, oh,
now she must have it down. It must not affect
her the way that it affects other people. No, no, no,
this I'm reminded with this book that's kind of whispering
to me that the same feeling that authors always talk
(06:34):
to me about feeling, the same words that I've heard
out of other people's mouths, the same words that I
have invested my entire career to helping people understand and
integrate and move through. I'm having this same exact experience
of being an utter beginner at this, even though I have,
you know, written so many books in my life. So
it just a good reminder to you that if you
(06:56):
feel the feelings, if you have a book idea, that's
kind of whispering to you, and you're just like, I
don't know what I'm doing. I don't even think I'm
a writer. I don't know if this book idea has
any merit. I don't know if anyone else would be
interested in this. I don't even know if this makes
sense or if it could come together as a book.
Just know, like, those feelings are so normal and real
that even after writing fourteen books, I still feel those
(07:18):
feelings every single time a book idea comes into my space.
And I was just thinking this week about how I
think this is unintentional part of the process, or I
don't know if intentional is the right word. It's built in,
It's meant to be this way. It's not meant to
be any different. We're not meant to master this feeling
of creativity at the beginning, the threshold of the start
(07:40):
of something. I think we're supposed to feel a bit unmored.
I think that's part of the process. Is meant to
put us back in touch with our own humanity, and
it's designed to make us feel like, uh, like I
have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know if
I'm good enough to bring this to fruition. I don't
even know if this idea is any good. Also, am
(08:00):
I even hearing what I think I'm hearing? So this
is what I want to talk about today, is where
the writing process actually begins, because I think that many
of us think that the writing process begins when we
sit down to the computer and we put our fingers
to the keys and the words start flowing and we
actually start typing sentences in chapters. And I believe the
writing process happens way, way sooner than that. And if
(08:23):
you aren't attuned to these signs, you won't notice that
they're happening. And you actually, in my opinion, won't ever
really get to the sitting at the computer typing on
the keys portion of the process. Or you will, but
you'll be writing a book that's not actually the book
that's inviting you or or calling to you. This is just,
you know, this is how I experience the writing process
(08:44):
and the creative process in general. Because for me, I said,
this theme is popping up in many different places in
my life. It's not just in the realm of writing
that this idea is popping up. It's also popping up
in the realm of something I've talked about a few
times on the podcast, which is wanting to grow our
face family. There is this distinct feeling that parallels the
writing process where I feel kind of insane because I'm
(09:10):
forty two years old. My kids are four and five
years old. They're putting on their own shoes, they're getting dressed,
They're you know, safe to go out in the driveway.
I don't worry that one of them is going to
like run into traffic. Nobody's in diapers, like we are
out of the baby phase. Of life. And I'm also
forty two years old and my husband is forty five,
so we could very easily kind of wrap things up
(09:30):
and tie things up and move on to the next
phase of our life. Like my mother in law's talking
about taking the family to Italy in October, and I'm like,
that sounds amazing. And yet and yet, and this is
what I want to focus on for today's episode. And
yet there is this distinct feeling like we are not
done growing our family, like there is another baby out
(09:51):
there for us. And I've been listening for a while.
You know that I have had a couple of miscarriages,
so you know, if if I had carried those pregnancies
to term, there already would be another baby in our family.
And for whatever reason that I don't totally understand, and
I think that's an important piece of it. For a
reason that I do not understand at all, this idea
that there's another baby out there that I want to
(10:14):
invite into our family is not one that has been
easily put to bed. And listen, I've said this before.
I'm so open to the facts that I don't have
control over this set of circumstances. I'm open to the
fact that I am forty two years old. It may
we may try all the things that a couple can try,
and it may the door may close for us, and
(10:35):
I may need to move on and listen, I'm gonna
go to Italy. I'm gonna We're gonna book. I don't know,
I'm being sort of facetious, but like book a trip
to the Bahamas, Like we're gonna go travel, We're gonna
have fun. I'm gonna have a blast with my two
kids and my husband, whom I love, and we're gonna
have a lovely family and lots and lots of things
to be grateful for. But I think it's important that
(10:57):
I pay attention to these longings, this inexplicable urge. I
told a friend of mine the other day, I have
an inexplicable urge. I cannot explain. I don't understand it
for another baby, And until I make peace with that,
or until it becomes clear that that door is closed,
I am still in this liminal space where I'm wondering,
(11:18):
like I can't stop paying attention to that thing. And
here's the parallel that I want to make is that
your writing life has a similar element to it. There
may be for you a book idea that's calling to you,
that's inviting you, that's saying like it's just whispering to you,
like you might be having dreams. It might be popping
(11:38):
into your brain at different times of the day, and
you might in your logical brain go like this is insane.
I've never written a book before. I don't know the
first thing about writing a book. I'm not an author.
I'm not even a writer, like I have a job.
I'm a mom like I you know, all these other
things going on, like I don't need something else to
add to my calendar, to my schedule. I'm busy, like
I'm full up. And yet and yet, and yet this
(12:01):
book idea doesn't seem to want to leave you alone.
And so what do we do with this? This, I believe,
is where the writing process really begins. It doesn't begin
when your fingers at the keys. It doesn't begin when
you read the positive pregnancy test, although sometimes it does
happen that way. I mean with my first two children,
you know, Matt and I were like very open to
having children ride away. Once we got married and I
(12:21):
got pregnant, I literally took a positive pregnancy test on
my honeymoon with Nella and so, and same with Charlie.
Like Charlie was not a planned pregnancy, but a very
welcome to pregnancy. But I remember taking the pregnancy test,
seeing that it was positive and just being like blown
away because I had a seven month old. So sometimes
these things are dropped into our lives, and maybe an
(12:44):
opportunity comes to you, maybe for this has happened to
many authors I've worked with, where an opportunity comes to
you that came out of nowhere that you didn't see coming.
Maybe a publisher literally calls you up and is like, hey,
we need an author to come write this book. Would
you be interested? And there's alignment and it feels good
and you jump in and you signed the contract and
it's like, WHOA, I didn't even have to work for that.
That was so easy. And other times there's a whisper,
(13:07):
there's a longing, there's like a sense that there's something
out there that you haven't touched yet, but that you
want to touch, and it won't seem to leave you alone.
And I really do believe deeply that these whispers, these
longings are an invitation to cross a threshold into the unknown,
(13:28):
and to accept the challenge of living with that unknown
and entering into a long term conversation without knowing what
the outcome will be. And I think this is what's
so terrifying about writing a book, and it's one of
the reasons why people want to hire a publishing coach.
And as I move away from publishing coaching, this is
a tension that I enter into with some I've still
worked with a handful of clients here and there, like
(13:50):
through referrals or whatever, and people really want someone to
tell them here are the steps to take to get published.
They want. You know, when I talk to people, I'm like,
what are your goals? They're like, oh, to be a
New York Times best selling author, and more power to you.
I have always wanted to be a New York Times
bestselling author, and there's still a part of me, if
I'm being honest, that desires that, or wants that, or
(14:10):
looks to that. And yet the desire has lessened over
time as I have engaged myself with the process of
writing and as I've helped so many people write, and
I've realized what the real magic of the writing process is.
I'm not saying i'd be lying if I said, oh,
I don't care about the New York Times List anymore.
But I will say that the pull and the draw
on the New York Times List has shifted for me
(14:32):
over time as I've realized what the true magic of
this writing process is, because people come into it and
they go, Okay, tell me what the path is. I've
never done this before. I want to map. I want
to know, like, how do I get an agent, how
do I get the right publisher, how do I get
a good book contract, how do I get my book
on the New York Times List? How do I write
the best book possible? How do I write something that's
really going to speak to people? And it's not that
(14:53):
these questions are bad questions or wrong by any stretch
of the imagination. But here's where I think we get
our into trouble, is that what's really trying to happen.
I believe when you enter into any creative process is
you're being invited to have a conversation with the unknown.
You're being invited to have a conversation with something that
(15:14):
is not totally clear to you yet. And in order
to enter into that, there really can't be a map.
There is no map, there is no understanding it, there
is no feeling secure. Like I said at the beginning
of this episode, there is no like, well, I've done
this fourteen times, so I know how this works, and good,
like I've got this, you know, under wraps, check check check. No. No,
(15:34):
this would be my fifteenth book. And still there's a
part of me that's just like no, no, Like I
don't know what I'm doing. I could never possibly write
this book that you're inviting me to write. And yet
the idea still keeps whispering, And no matter how much
I want to ignore it or try to ignore it,
it still just keeps kind of tugging on my shirt sleeves.
So if you have an idea like that, maybe it's
a writing idea. Maybe you have a book like I'm
(15:56):
talking about, that's that's you know, kind of inviting you
into a relationship with it. Maybe for you it's something
different like what I talked about with this inexplicable urge
to have a baby. Maybe you have an inexplicable urge
to start a nonprofit or to you know, another here's
another example. Just so that you can get your own
juices flowing or think about what this might look like
(16:17):
for you. But another thing that my husband and I
keep talking about is really wanting to pull people together
in community. This when we moved to Nashville and we
had this dream of building a man made surfing community
(16:38):
here in Tennessee, this is what the dream was really about.
It was about bringing people together around the values of
surf culture. Because we moved from LA Matt became a
surfer as he was living in LA and we really
loved the concepts that surfing brings to the table. These
values of shared resources, a value of you know, living
(17:01):
simply living with only the things that you need, sharing
your resources with your neighbors, coming together in community, being
connected to the earth. You know, there's something so mind
blowing about sitting on a surfboard out in the middle
of the ocean. It's a feeling that I can't quite describe,
and I really have not done it that many times
in my life. My husband has done much more surfing
(17:21):
than I've done, but I have been surfing a handful
of times, and there's just something that nothing else can
match that feeling of sitting out on a surfboard and
just being swallowed up by the vastness of the ocean.
And so these are the values that we really wanted
to bring to this surfing community in Tennessee. When the
opportunity was brought to us to build this man made
(17:43):
surfing lagoon in Tennessee, we thought, like, how cool would
it be to build a community where people could come together,
They could connect with each other, they could connect with themselves,
they could connect with nature. They could be together as
a family and as a community and share resources and
eat meals together and you know, be barefoot and live
this grounded life and connect to nature and like just
(18:04):
really be appreciative for the things that we have and
see life as the miracle that it is. And that
was the dream that was the original dream of the
surfing community. It became something very different along the way,
because you know, money drives the ship with these big developments,
and so it turned into something that I don't think
that we it wasn't the original dream that we had
started with by the time we finished. And so in
(18:26):
that way, it maybe was a blessing in disguise that
the whole thing fell apart. But my point is I
took a long tangent there to say that the point
is that since the dream has died. Matt and I
have said many times to each other, like, maybe we
just bring community together in East Nashville. Maybe we find
like a small place for people to meet. Maybe we
start with our house and we invite people here, and
(18:46):
maybe we do, you know, still include some of those
surfing values, like, actually, maybe we do some yoga. I'm
trained as a yoga teacher now, so could we do
some yoga in our yard? Could we maybe buy a
sauna and a cold plunge and have people come dou
soon a cold plunge and hot cold therapy here. Maybe
we could do breath work. Maybe we could meditate together.
Maybe we could have a book club, you know, maybe
we could feed people. I don't know, but just finding
(19:09):
ways to bring people together. It's like the seed of
an idea that feels overwhelming because we're at the start
of it, and you go, what is this going to
turn into? Is this going to be a waste of
my time? This feels like a universal question that people
ask at the beginning of a creative project, whatever the
creative project is, is this going to be a waste
of my time? Am I going to dump you know,
(19:31):
years of my life and thousands of dollars or sometimes
hundreds of thousands of dollars, or in the case of
the Serve community, millions of dollars into this idea to
build it, and then at the end of the day,
the whole thing's going to fall apart and it's going
to be a waste of time. And I have noticed
that since our big fall apart with this community that
we tried to build, that I have felt a little
(19:52):
bit more skittish about trying things. My whole life, I
have had like a feeling of bravery, almost like invincible invincibility,
Like I'm like, I can try anything, and the universe
just rises to meet me, The ground just rises up
underneath of me, and things just always kind of work
out for me. And after this fall apart happened, I've
noticed myself feeling more skittish. I'm like, oh gosh, like
(20:15):
do I want to try that? Do I want to
start that? Do I want to invest in that? And
so I mean, I'm working through that. But I guess
my point is that whatever it is that is calling
to you, whatever the inexplicable urge is for you, whether
it's a book, whether it's a baby, whether it's a community,
whether it's a nonprofit, whether it's a business, whether it's whatever,
whatever it is that's calling to you in this next season,
(20:36):
the beginning is going to feel unstable. It's going to
feel unsturdy, it's going to feel uncertain, and maybe that's
all part of the point. There's no way for it
to feel certain. I think this is one thing, one
point that I really want to drive home, is that
there's no way for me, even as a publishing coach
or a writing coach or whatever, if I'm helping you
(20:57):
with your book. What I can do is offer a
content for you to be in the chaos, and I
can kind of hold this space strongly so that you
can be in your chaos of the creative process. But
what I can't do is tell you, Oh, I can
guarantee you that you are going to finish this book
at X state, or you're going to get this publisher,
or you're going to you know, be on this trajectory,
(21:18):
or yeah, I can promise you that you're going to
get on a best seller's list. Nobody can promise you
any of that, and if they say they can, they're
not being truthful. All I can promise you is that
if you say yes to this journey, that the journey
will absolutely transform you from start to finish. And I
can speak that with utter assurance after this crazy rollercoaster
(21:39):
that we've been on with the surfing community, that even
after the devastation, even after all the losses, I mean,
I have been through, like you know, if you've been
around here listening, near bankruptcy, like just absolute devastation and
loss of years of our life and so much of
our energy and attention. And it's so devastating to come
on the other side of it and realize, like this
(22:00):
isn't going to work, Your work is not going to
pay off in the way that you hoped it would.
And yet I can tell you that this experience changed
us forever, and changed us in a really positive way forever.
There are still pieces that feel sad, be I'd be
lying if I said that there weren't. And yet I
have come to the place where I'm starting to feel
(22:23):
gratitude for the loss because of what it's taught us,
because of the way that it's changed us. So back
to this, where does the writing process actually start, or
where does the creative process actually start? I think This
is the point of the message that I'm trying to
speak today, is that your writing process doesn't start when
your fingers hit the keys. Your writing process starts before that.
(22:44):
It starts when the idea starts whispering to you, when
the idea starts pulling at your shirt sleeves, when it
starts waking you up in the middle of the night,
when that inexplicable urge is calling you forward. It starts
when you choose to say yes to that inexplicable urge
without knowing how things are going to turn out. And
I really feel like I'm in the depths of this
(23:05):
process with not only the book, but also with this
idea of growing our family. We're in a weird phase where,
you know, I've had multiple losses. We don't really understand
why the losses are happening. I'm, you know, without getting
too much into the weeds of this, like I have
doctor's appointments scheduled, appointments scheduled with fertility clinic. We'll try
to get to the bottom of these certain things. But
(23:27):
even with modern medicine being as advanced as it is,
even with the science that's available to us, there's no
guarantee that we will be able to fully understand why
these things are happening the way that they are. And
even beyond that, there's no guarantee that we will be
able to bring into fruition the baby that we are
(23:47):
asking for or desiring or wanting. You know, And I
think this is one of the ways that this experience
with the surfing community has changed me, is I would
have just said before all of this happened, I would
have said, you know, if you are earned, and you ask,
and you put in the work, and you heal and
you do, you know, you follow the stepping stones that
are put in front of you, like, you'll always get
(24:08):
what you wanted. You'll always get what you were after,
because in the past I always have. It hasn't always
come in the timing that I thought it was going to,
but I always have been able to achieve the thing
that I was after. Now I feel like the lesson
(24:32):
that I've walked away with is that even when you
don't achieve the thing that you're after, one thing I
can promise you is that the effort you put in
will never come back void. It will never be for nothing.
It will always be for something. It just might not
be for the something that you thought it was going
to be for. And so you know, I'm using this
as an example, but like for me, this inexplicable urge
(24:54):
to have a baby, there's part of me that wants
to be like, you know, it's too risky to invest
more time and more energy at my age and with
all the respectors and whatever, this and that, like, let's
just move on with our lives. But I think I
don't think. I know that I would always live with
this question mark and with an ache of wondering what
if I would have listened, What if I would have
(25:16):
listened to that still small voice that's inside of me
that's calling me forward? What if I would have trusted that?
What if I would have continued to have faith and
take the steps. It's so hard to have faith after
a loss. And that's maybe something that I need to
say really clearly too, is that maybe you, like me,
have had a big loss of some kind. The pine
of Serf Club was a loss for us, but so
(25:38):
have the babies. The miscarriages have also been big losses
for us. And so maybe you have a loss that
makes you feel nervous to step in faith, step forward
in faith with whatever the thing is that's inviting you,
and even with those losses top of mind, I want
to just invite you and encourage you to continue stepping
(26:02):
forward in faith, because not faith that you're going to
get the thing you asked for. You may not. And
this is I think the big learning, the wisdom that
has come from the last five years of my life.
You may not. You'll run into a lot of people
who will tell you if you just believe you'll get
everything you ever asked for, you may not get the
(26:23):
thing that you asked for. You might not. And I'm
sorry to be that bearer of bad news, but what
you get in return will be infinitely better than what
you asked for. And that might not even make sense
to your brain right now, because when I think about
I'm not even fully there yet with the surfing community.
I feel like, because what we lost was so massive
(26:44):
and so devastating, I'm far enough on the other side
that I'm starting to see the blessings that I couldn't
see before. But I'm not fully out of the woods.
Does that make sense? So I'm just barely starting to
catch a whiff of what happens when you step fully
in faith follow the thing. Maybe you don't get what
(27:05):
you were after, but you get something that is better.
That might not have seemed better to the old version
of you, but to the new version of you. She
has a higher consciousness, so she recognizes this as better.
And I'm just barely becoming the person who can recognize
this as better. It's like the pain that I suffered
has made me a more compassionate person, which is better
(27:29):
than building some massive thing that people are very impressed by.
So the book that's calling to you, I think this
is the paradigm shift that I'm introducing or offering to you,
is that if a book is calling to you, and
if you're wondering to yourself if this is going to
be worth it? Is this going to be a waste
of time? Do I even have what it takes? Is
this book idea any good? Do I even want to
(27:49):
take the risk on it? The fact of the matter
is the truth that nobody wants to tell you is
that the book idea may not become what you want
it to become. It may may not be a New
York Times bestseller. It may not be a book that
anyone else reads. It may not be a book that
you decide you want to share. It may not be
a book that is a page turner from start to finish.
(28:11):
It may who knows what it will become. It could
become any of those things. But you don't get to
know at the beginning of the process. All you get
to know is that the invitation is there, and you
get to choose whether you want to step into it
or not. And then once you step into the invitation,
you allow and you receive the transformation that the invitation
(28:33):
is here to offer you. That's really what the process
is about, is the transformation. So you step into the unknown.
You don't know how things are going to turn out.
There is no guarantee of an outcome. There's no guarantee
of a book. There's no guarantee of a baby, there's
no guarantee of a financial windfall, none of it. You
get no guarantees. But you step in with faith, trusting
that this whisper means something, that it's coming from somewhere.
(28:57):
And I think that's this is the part that has
been so hard for me to find faith in again,
is trusting that those whispers mean something and that they're
calling me somewhere meaningful because I had those whispers with
the surfing community and it felt for a while like
I was led into the wilderness. I was led into
(29:17):
the dark. And it's taken me a minute to be like,
oh wait, okay, I'm seeing the fruit, I'm seeing the lessons.
I'm beginning to feel gratitude for, you know, what's come
out of this dark circumstance. But it can be tricky
when you feel like, Okay, I listened to that voice
in the past and it led me, you know, astray.
And so what I'm offering, what I'm inviting you to do,
(29:41):
is if you have a book idea that's tugging at you,
to listen to the voice, to trust that it's leading
you somewhere, to trust that it's meaningful. And you actually
don't need someone else to tell you. You don't need
to call me up and say, ali's this book idea
even any good. You can trust yourself that because you
have the book idea, because it won't leave you alone,
because you you have this inexplicable urge the book idea
(30:03):
is leading you somewhere meaningful. You just don't get to
know where that meaningful place is yet or what it's
going to bring into your life. But I can promise you,
promise you, promise you that any creative project that comes
into your space comes in to invite you into a deeper, fuller,
bigger version of yourself, to invite you into more meaning,
(30:23):
more joy, more gratitude, more depth, more contentment, more peace,
all of it. That's what a creative project is. That's
what a creative project does for you. And we've really
lost the plot, I think in our culture, making it
about the outcome and even the way that manifestation is taught.
It's not that I believe that manifestation isn't a thing
(30:44):
or doesn't happen, but I think the way manifestation is
taught focuses so much on the outcome that we really
miss the point that the outcome was never the point.
The black Mercedes that you were trying to manifest was
never the point. And Mary and Williamson, I mean, I
come back to this example lot, but Marian Williamson talks
about this like you can manifest a black Mercedes by
visualizing it and thinking about it and making your vision
(31:06):
board and talking about it in mantras and affirmations and
all the things. But then what then you get the
black Mercedes and so freaking what, like, how does that
change your life? Really? And I know that's a simple example.
It's harder to say that when you're talking about something
like a baby, because of course a baby is more
meaningful and weighty and important than a black Mercedes. But
(31:27):
we can get into that same trap with whatever it
is that we're trying to manifest, making it about the thing,
about the book, about the baby, about the community, about
the whatever, especially if what you're trying to make feels
like it's purpose driven, you know, like you're trying to
create a nonprofit that's going to help people so much,
and you're like, this is so meaningful, like of course
(31:48):
you know, of course I'm supposed to manifest this. Of
course this is supposed to be in the world. But
what if the thing that you're trying to manifest isn't
nearly as important as what's being made manifest in you
and through you. So the writing process doesn't really begin
when you put your fingers to the keys. The creative
process doesn't begin, you know, when you take the positive
pregnancy test. It really begins way before that. It begins
(32:09):
with a deep inner listening to what is happening, and
with becoming settled, becoming content, becoming at peace with and
learning to trust. That's it. It's really learning to have
faith in that voice inside of you that's saying, Okay,
this is what I want you to do. This is
(32:30):
what this is about. This is what the next step
that I want you to take. Trusting enough to take
that next step without knowing what the outcome is going
to be. Trusting knowing what the outcome is going to
be is not trusting. Not knowing what the outcome is
going to be is where all the learning lives. And
that's the invitation in this advent season that we're in,
(32:52):
in this wintering season, in this time of hibernation, this
deep inner listening. What a perfect time for deep inner listening.
Listen deeply to what's being asked of you, and be
willing to take the next step, even if you don't
know how this is going to turn out. If the
thing that's being asked of you, if the voice is
whispering about a book, don't forget that you still have
(33:14):
a week left to purchase a book in six months
at its discounted rate, highly highly discounted rate. When you
go to a book in six months dot com, type
in the code Gratitude at checkout, and it will discount
your course from nine hundred and ninety nine dollars to
two hundred and twenty two dollars just until the end
of the year. So until January first, that course is
(33:35):
available at that discounted rate. This course is a self
guided course that's going to walk you through the process
of writing your manuscript from start to finish for two
hundred and twenty two dollars. So imagine that in June
or July of this year you could have a finished manuscript,
or you can also move through it at your own pace.
If you want to move through a little slower and
take your time, then maybe by the end of twenty
twenty six you have a finished manuscript. The course is
(33:58):
really designed with this in mind, from this place of
knowing that if you have a book idea that's calling
to you, the book needs to be written. Who cares
about how you publish it or if you publish it,
or when you publish it or when it's finished. What's
most important is that you listen to the call, that
you step into this, that you actually write the book
and so the course is designed to guide you through
(34:20):
the process of writing your manuscript without worrying about how
it's going to get published. When all is said and done,
there is a module that teaches you about the different
publishing options, just to show you what your options are,
so to show you that you don't need to be
pigeonholed with one publishing choice, and that in twenty twenty
five and twenty twenty six you have infinite options available
to you. But the course is really focused on getting
(34:42):
you to better understand the idea that is trying to
come through you. So if that's you, if you have
a book idea that's whispering to you, I hope this
course is a blessing to you. I hope the discount
is a blessing to you. I hope you buy yourself
a nice little Christmas present, or buy the Christmas present
for someone that you love, or buy it as a
(35:02):
New Year's present, or just buy it as a a
non holiday present, a gift to yourself. Wherever this finds you,
whatever you're up against, just know that I'm in it
with you, that I love you, I'm sending you a
huge hug this holiday season, and I will see you
back next week on the Write Your Story podcast.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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