KHARA LORD AERTS: My SOUL sister shares the remarkable journey she's had following her dreams and navigating motherhood!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carola, she's a queen. She's getting not afraid to feel it,
so just let it flu. No one can Carol learned
sounds care learn. I am so happy to be here

(00:29):
with one of my very, very best friends in the world.
We have known each other. And if you hear tooting,
it is the chair. I'm not ripping, and care is
not either, even although you are nine months pregnant. So
if you were to pass gas, it would be totally acceptable.
No one would judge me, right, no one would judge you.
That will be happening today, but it might happen from
this yeah, this one. Yeah, No, I'm not passing gas.

(00:51):
It's the chair. Okay, So everyone, if you hear things,
it's not like farts. It's not just putting that out there.
It's gonna go and start this podcast off super cozy
and comfy, keeping it. You've been it real. So Kara
Lord Aerts your full name. You are a vision. You
are beautiful. Your soul is the most beautiful thing of you.
We have always connected on a soul level. We did

(01:13):
friends for what has it been twenty years? There's no
way has it been twenty years. I don't think. Maybe
at least fifteen. I know that much. At least fifteen.
So we met back in the day. Like how older
were we met? I want to say we were maybe
like two. Don't count thirty eight almost thirty nine. No,
I'm thirty eight pregnant at thirty eight. How is that

(01:35):
it's been. She's been so easy on me, which I've
been so grateful for. Being pregnant during the pandemic has
been a little interesting. We thought the pandemic would be
over by the time we had baby girl, but she's
been really easy. She's been super chill and um this
last few few days have been kicking my butt a
little bit. But I'm just grateful. I'm at thirty seven

(01:55):
weeks and just like, what a blessing here for it?
I mean, I'm just here for every single that I
have her and that she's safe in there. I'm just grateful.
So it's been so beautiful, and I just I don't know.
I'm just really thankful that she's going to be with
us in a couple of weeks, which is so incredible.
My twenty four days. Twenty four days is when she's

(02:16):
supposed to be there. I'm so excited that I get
to be at the end of this like right before
she's coming, like the last moment before, so live lives
her name. And something that I love about Kara so
much is Kara is a big manifesto, big soulful person,
highly connected to your soul, to yourself. That's we've like
we've been soul sisters for a long time, for a

(02:37):
very long time. Like we just get each other. Like
back in the day when we were in college though,
and everyone's like, you know, just getting drunk and like
pursuing music and all sorts of dreams and stuff, we
were actually just having soul conversations all the time. We've
always stars a line and like we're having this conversation
about like how beautiful life is and like how this
is the very moment that defines us. And people are like,
what are you talking about? What are you actually talking

(02:58):
You know what we're talking about. We know what we're
talking about. So we've always been connected to the soul.
And and something that's amazing is Kara has always talked
about live like this child in your stomach, this girl,
So you have a beautiful, precious angel boy Rhodes that
we're going to talk about his story and y'all's journey together,
which is absolutely amazing. And this is Valentine's Day by
the way that we're recording this, so it's the day

(03:20):
of love, which is so fitting for you, Kara, It's
insanely fitting. But you have been you have known that
Live has existed forever forever. Tell me about that, because
that to me is wild. Like when you tell me
you're pregnant, I'm like, oh, it's a girl on her
its lips. I literally was like a lips coming, lips coming,
because you've always said you're going to have a daughter

(03:41):
name Live and even want to sen you the video
of the gender announcement. You were like, oh, I knew
it was a yeah. I mean, I'm crying, but like,
of course it's Live. I mean, of course it's a girl.
Like shocker. I can't even explain it. It's like the
weirdest thing, just knowing she was going to exist. Like
Brennan and I my husband, would always talk about it
and we're like, listen, we know not done. We want
to have one more child because we feel like Live

(04:03):
exists and if we don't try again, she will never
have a shot at this life. And I know she's
going to do big things and if she's going to
take on the world and so trying. You know, So
you did this for Live, like you did this because
you knew Live needed to come here. We've known for
a long time. That's some pretty powerful stuff. Yeah, and
for Rhodes as well, because Live does mean shelter and

(04:24):
protector and we'll obviously get into that when you want,
But that I never knew that was the meaning of
her name. You never knew. You always knew you were
gonna have a girl, and you always knew we're going
to name her Live, And you had no idea that
her name was shelter and protector. No, And that literally
made me sob I was just like she has, she
has so much she's going to do in this world.

(04:45):
But like that in itself is the most beautiful role.
Like one of her major roles that she's going to
play in life is going to be a protector and
a shelter for her sweet brother and they're going to
be a little tribe. And I've always known she would
going to be here. And just that feeling of certainty.
I don't know where it comes from the universe of stars. God,

(05:07):
I don't know but when they told us we were
having a girl, we both felt our knees and we
were just like, it's live, she's coming. Here, she is,
and I have chills. So I'm so thankful, just like
it's been a really beautiful journey, and you have been
on a journey. You have a tattoo on your arm,
the letter the letter three, the number three. I want
to talk about that, but I want to talk about

(05:28):
your journey, because first off, let's start with your music
journey before we get into Roads. You're amazing, precious angel
son Roads. How oldest roads? Now? He's five and a half,
five and a half, okay, stealing all the hearts, stealing
all the hearts, especially his mama's um. So you and Brennan,
y'all were high school sweethearts. We're all junior high sweethearts.

(05:50):
We were basically high school sweethearts and moved here like
right out of high school. So every all of his
high school buddies are like, we claim her. She's like
she's the one. So yes, definitely, okay. So you met
your hubs Brennan in high school, Yes, and y'all fell
in love and y'all were just like this instant couple,
so much love, so much musical talent. You'll started creating
music together right away, right away. All these songs that

(06:13):
were writing about they were about him, and everything was like, secretly,
I'm in love with you, and he was like, what
is this about? Like, it's you, It's all you. So
how did you know you love Brennan so early? Because like,
I love stories, I love love stories of people who
like knew at this young age because even though there's
all stories are great and it's great when you meet
someone older. It's great when you meet someone in any

(06:33):
part of the journey, but I love young love stories too,
because to grow with someone in like you and Brennan
have grown together and you experienced so much together. That
is such a treasure to have that with someone when
that is your story, which is you and Brennan's, and
y'all have such an amazing connection, and y'all like your
marriage is so strong, You've always stayed connected to each other,

(06:54):
which is hard to do when you've been together that long.
It's especially meeting at such a young age. We talked
about that all the time. We're like we have literally
grown up together and are still so in love and
so grateful for each other. I mean, we totally it's
like the best. Sorry, Mom, I just it's like live.

(07:15):
I can't explain it. I was super fickle. I was
never like into like just one guy. I was always
like whatever, he's fine, like you know, chase me right.
I saw Brennan and I'm like, there's something about this guy.
I cannot figure it out. But he intrigued me. He
just he just he like moved me. And yeah, of
course he was like beautiful and don't get a big head, Brennan.
But yeah, Brennan, like don't you dare deflate your head

(07:36):
right now. But there was something about him, like a
magnetic force, and we just clicked. And I told my
friend like a week after I met him, I'm like, ship,
i met my husband. Can I guess? Okay? I'm like sorry,
I'm like I met him. I know I'm going to
marry this guy. And how old were you? I was
like nineteen. That's a lot to know you're gonna marry

(07:58):
someone at nineteen, it was, and I wasn't ready. It
was like I wrote a song called I'm Not Ready
to fall in love. I was not like I'm like, Brennon,
you couldn't stop the love track. No, he was like,
m we're doing this and he was in love too,
So yeah, I think it took him like a little
bit longer, not that he wasn't immediately, but it just
he said that he started to notice that. He told
his dad he was like, is it me or his

(08:20):
carre getting prettier? And his dad said, you're falling in
love with her. You're seeing her for her, not just
the exterior, and it was like he started to he
started to fall in love with me in my heart,
and I thought that that was pretty cool. I immediately
was just like, this is my guy, I know everything is.
He was nothing like any guy had ever dated. What

(08:40):
was it that you were looking for that Brennan had
that you didn't know you were looking for, but when
you saw it in him, you knew it. He just
had such an intense spirit and an intensity about him
that I was like, that is so attractive to me.
And he seemed like the most genuine good guy. He
didn't know how awesome he was, which was kind of

(09:00):
cool too because I'm like, Okay, he doesn't have this
huge head like he just was the genuine awesome person
and I'm like I love this about him, and we
were really good friends, Like we just connected so well,
and we worked on music together, and we had so
much chemistry. It was like an immediate magnetic force. And
y'all both are very centered in God and a higher

(09:22):
power to yes, and you were from the beginning, right
from the very beginning, which was really which really important
to both of us. Do you think having God at
the center point of your relationship has been why y'all
have been able to have such a strong relationship for
so long. It has to be. There's no other explanation
for it, especially through all the trials and the triplations
and all the things we've gone through. And help me

(09:43):
some of the things you have gone through. My parents
got divorced after being together for twenty married twenty years
and completely had no idea, blindsided you, completely out of nowhere,
blindsided me. And how old were you? I was twenty
so you had just met Britta. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
twenty twenty four, So it was we were dating for
a few years, but it was right before he wanted

(10:05):
to propose to me when they were when all that went,
so your whole foundation was shook, completely gone, completely gone.
What did that do to you when your parents got divorced?
Rushed me. What did it make you think about life
and about relationships? I looked at every single picture on
my wall. This is so sad. I looked at every
photo and I said, that smiles a lie. That smiles
a lie. How can this photo be real? My mom

(10:25):
and dad are sitting next to me and they're smiling,
and they aren't happy. And I was so I was
so in love with Brennan, but I was looking at
him and I was like, what if we what if
this happens, that this happened to my parents. They all
of my all of my friends were like, I wanted
my parents to be like your parents because they were
so affectionate, so loving. They were like the example that
every wanted to be like. But there were just so

(10:46):
many difficult things underneath the surface that they didn't connect on,
you know, just a lot of different things that just
kind of eventually erupted and they couldn't do it anymore
after the kids were out of the house. And that's
such a common story. They hold on for the kids
to leave. And then it's even harder when you're older
because you think you're set up for life. You think
I'm gonna be going to take my kids to, you know,

(11:08):
Christmas when I'm fifty with at my parents house. And
these are such beautiful gifts and blessings that a lot
of people like take for granted that I haven't experienced,
not to be a poor martyr. But that shook the foundation.
And Brennan still asked my dad if he could propose
to me through through all of that, and we still
like got engaged a couple of months later, and he
was like, he was my rock. So your parents got

(11:30):
divorced right before you got engaged, like months before. Isn't
that so interesting? How things happen like that huge life
And it's like you go so many years of your
life and like you kind of like cause things aren't
like you know, You're like moving through it, figuring out,
and then all of a sudden, it's like, not only
do you get hit with one giant thing, you get
hit with so many giant things at once. What is that?
Is it just your energy shifting? You're ready to move

(11:52):
to a new level in life. It feels like it
feels like when it rains it pours, doesn't it like
it just it's crazy how it all kind of comes
down at once. I was blind completely Caroline, like completely blindside. Okay,
So then how did you move into getting married with
Brennan having trust when all of a sudden your whole
foundation is shook. I mean we did some premarital counseling,
like with an awesome guy who was through our church,
and that was incredible, and Brennan was just like never

(12:15):
left my side. He was there. He was like, I know,
I was grouchy, Like there were some times when I
just was like, this is not happening. How could this be?
He was there through the whole thing. He loved me
through it all, through the hard times, and that right
there set the tone for our marriage because it can't
always be perfect beautiful like sunshine and roses. I mean,
you're going to go through hard times in your marriage

(12:37):
and started off with that, you know, and he it
kind of shows how he was there there for it.
You're so right, because that is the thing about insane
about marriage, And like now that I've been married for
like ever too, and with Michael for so long, it's
like literally you have all these seasons and like you
look back on your relationship with your spouse, And I

(12:58):
love the hard times to you because you have this
chance if you lean into them and you both are
working on your marriage and you both are working on
yourself and you're both trying to grow and move forward
and stay connected to your higher self, to your partner,
then you get through those times and you didn't throw
in the towel, and it's like you have this depth
of your heart and your love that you can it's

(13:22):
indescribable when it's priceless because you have to live through
it to get that exactly. You have to like you've
seen some serious miles together to like see it through
to the end and sharing that together. You don't just
share that with anybody like you and Michael have seen
like things together. Brendon and I have seen things together
that other people haven't, and it's part of your history.

(13:43):
And you do like mold into one person because you
totally do. Because it's now it's like all the things
I think about that like I would this is so
I don't even know why Michael always just like this
is like, why do you like kill great moments with
like negative things, Because I'm like, if I ever like
was widowed or something I would never remarry, Like, why
do I even say that? Why did I even say that?
Because I'm like getting to know someone and loving someone.

(14:05):
I would never want to do it again. I would
never want to do this again with someone I know.
That was I went down a dark pessimistic road to
try to give a compliment. Okay, but it's so true,
it's true. Yeah, Okay, so you'll get married. I'm sorry
I said that. Was that terrible? Was? I'm just like
killing the vibe, trying not to be a vibe killer.
I'm such an oversharer. I have a word vomit. And

(14:26):
then sometimes I'm like, why did I sail that? Alie,
my sweeten herns here and like I just took her
to meet Taylor because we did a fitting and I
was like, prepare yourself for Taylor. Taylor is the best.
But you will see everything in the whole world Taylor Lynn.
Everyone follow her on Taylor. Everything is on a level.
So I love She's a firecracker. But there's you'll never

(14:47):
meet another never Taylor. You'll never meet another love Frank
Taylor Taylor. Okay, So shout outs to Taylor, but so
and Karen and I have been that's the thing I
love about you. We have just we have grown up
as friends together and like, we can't replace a friendship
like this because you could have all sorts of people
in your life, all sorts of friends in your life,
but someone who you have grown with from these young
trying years into adulthood, into marriage, into motherhood, into music

(15:12):
all of the Like y'all move to l A for
a season, then you came back and I was like,
you never skipped a beat, so amount of time can
go by. I mean we're still the same. Like, I'm
so grateful for that. It's incredible. It's absolutely a treasure.
So you and Brennan got married. He loved you through
all that, and y'all are now doing music like you have.
You feel surefooted with him in your marriage. He's given

(15:34):
you this foundation of stability even though you feel rock
to your core. Um, So what happens now? Because y'all
have had several opportunities for record deals. You've had record deals,
you've been signed, You've had giant sinks and movies and
TV shows like your music is. If people are watching
a lot of hit TV shows, you will probably have
heard the vinyl pin ups that's the name of Kara's

(15:55):
band with her husband Brennan and Carrotts, called the Vinyl
pin Ups. And you'all have TV in music, TV and
UM film, film sinks. All of it to sink is
like a song that you wrote they get synced in
a show. So how did you all then decide, Okay,
we're married and now we're just going to completely work
together too, because that's a lot of togetherness. It is
a lot of togetherness. Actually, I mean we did do

(16:15):
a lot of that when we were dating, so it
kind of naturally just progressed into all of that. But
we were just like young kids in Nashville, writing, playing shows,
like doing music, hanging out with all of our musician friends.
It was just naturally part of who we were. And
then when we decided we wanted to move to l
A and we wanted to like you know, transcend and
elevate and like, why not let's do it before we

(16:36):
have kids. Let's like go do something exciting and adventurous.
How did you know there was time to move to
l A. Because that's a big decision. When you all
decided you awesome live. I'm such a free spirit like
Britain was like, I'm from Nashville, Let's like stay here.
And I was like, let's go do something fun. Why not?
And he was like let's go. I don't know. I
just you get these feelings and you know it's like
you're bigger, calling it's crazy and you know that feeling

(16:59):
like I do know that you got that feeling. And
that's how I was when I cut my hair and
died a Brown. I literally woke up one day and
I was like I have to cut my hair and
day right, like I have to do this. Like you
had been talking about l A. The way you had
been talking about l A was the way you were
talking about live like. It came a point where we're
just like a year or two where you were talking
about it where you had to go down and I

(17:20):
had about this, right, We're like we've got to go.
We've just got to do it. Like if you didn't go,
I feel like you would have regretted that. I think
so too, And that's we had talked about. We were like, listen,
we know we want to travel, we want to see
the world, we want to do things. We're so young,
We've got all of this life to live. I mean,
why not do it now while we can, and we
literally we look back now and we're like, what were

(17:41):
we thinking? We hadn't We were essentially homeless when we
moved out there. We didn't have anything lined up. We
tried to be type A and like call everybody and
be like, let's schedule an appointment to check out the apartments.
Nothing could be done until you were out there. So
we literally close the Nashville door for a moment. We're
driving with our car on the back of the the
You like with no home in sights. You didn't have

(18:03):
a home when you moved out there. No. We stayed
at my friend Charity in Josh's house on their their
floor on a bloat match just for like twelve days.
We like looked online every night to try to find
an apartment. Had no job, no job, any money. I
mean we had some in the grand scheme of things,
like we were like, let's do this, like we're gonna
be just fine, and there is beauty to just that

(18:23):
youth and just but we got a phone call like
three days when we were there, like all these opportunities
were opening up and like we had like a job
lined up for like some like jingle company. It was
like silly but like significant, like steady money to kind
of hold us over until we started getting the sync
thing going, and until Gold Rays you know, caught fire

(18:43):
like viral. That's when I girl saw it went viral.
It was like on all the wallaws, I mean the
wall those banks right, um, the oh my gosh, what
pregnant brain, the gas stations, gas stations. It was there
like theme song, which might sound cheesy, but like that's cheesy.
Huge opportunities. They're not only like great opportunities to have
your music heard, but also financially great opportunities. It was amazing.

(19:07):
And then Ryan Seacrest found the song and her Seacrest
found the song. He did. He was the one that
like like did like this huge premiere or whatever on
the Gold Rays because he wrote gold Raise in the
dead of winter and he premiered it like January or something,
and it was like the sunshiny song everyone needed, everyone
needed it and out though in l A though, that
is really hard to stand out like that in LA

(19:29):
because everyone is talented, everyone is beautiful, everyone is writing
all these songs. Like how do you stand out like that?
You trust your intuition and God it's got to be
those two things. It has to be that's the theme
of your life. It's got to be that is my theme. Dude.
You just like told me what it was without even
realizing it. Well, because like to take big risks like
that where there's so many other people trying to take

(19:49):
the same risk. It's like if you try to get
caught up in the competition and like the feeling like
it's a scarcity thing where you right, you know you
could get lost in that, but you believed that this
is where you are supposed to do. You felt it
in your depth of your soul, stay the course, stay
the course, trusted it, didn't hesitate, just kind of went
and jumped right in. But that you know, the Ryan

(20:10):
Seacrest thing kind of got it, I mean. And also
you had and that's another thing. Sorry I'm interrupting people
listen to my podcast or like she interrupts too much,
but I had to say this before. The thing is
you have when you're taking these giant risk in these jumps.
It is also terrifying because you, like you guys, you
didn't know what you were doing. You had no plan.
The only plan you have is that you feel it

(20:31):
in your soul. Yeah, and you just have to take
one step at a time and know, well, what's the
worst that can happen. You could fail, but I think
that failing is not trying. You don't even try, then
you're definitely gonna fail. If you try and you still
and you still fail, then at least you know you
tried and failing because you learn something, you've always learned something.
You've got a new piece of information, You've got new

(20:52):
wisdom that you will carry with you to a new experience, yea,
and you can share it with other people, you know,
like along the way, and it might open a door,
you know, another door that like that opportunity didn't work
out how you thought it would, but it actually worked
out because now it led you somewhere else. Definitely. I
know it's crazy, the whole the ride in itself, but

(21:15):
the Ryan Secrets think sparked a publishing company to reach
out and they offered us a publishing deal. And so
we've been with Network for a while and you know,
they have got like an office in Canada and in
l A and New York and London. They're they're a nice,
great company. We love working for them. It's just like
one thing led to another lead to another, and then
you were writing with other artists and the TV and

(21:36):
SYNC world just kind of opened up for us because
we weren't touring as much then. We were playing shows
in l A. But like Becauld, y'all signed a record
deal's minal pin Ups? We did? We would you signed it?
We were with um Republic Republic thank you. I'm like,
I'm gonna blame as much as I can on the
pregnic rain, but like it's real, don't worry. I know
your story, Okay, So you and signed with the Republic
the public label. Yeah, and that was kind of side story.

(21:58):
At the same time, Michael, my husband, was in a
band A thousand Horses, and Brennan was also in the
band A thousand Horses. For a minute, they were signing
a record deal. You got off. Brennan got offered a
record deal with Interscope with A thousand Horses. At the
same time, Kara and Vinyl pin Ups got offered a
record deal with Republic. As any Littmann called me, He's like,
I'm hanging out with Kobe Kinley right now. We're all

(22:19):
gonna be best friends. And I was like, what money.
Leman is like the head of this label, huge, legendary whatever,
Like okay, sure, I'll be your best friend. Dreams come true,
But I just think that's also funny. All of a sudden,
it's like, you know, you have this dream of music
and a record deal, and it's not like you were
out there seeking it, and all of a sudden to
record deals are being presented. You know, it's crazy how

(22:39):
when it reigns it course, when you're on your path,
you're right, but you still have hard decisions. Because Brennan
had to make that decision do I pursue the band,
I pursue what's with my wife? You have to ultimately
trust your intuition. You have to. That's the only way
to do it, because like, sometimes you have too many
good decisions. Sometimes you have no decisions, no opportunities, and
sometimes you have too many opportunities. Wild You're like, life

(23:00):
is crazy. You're like what's going on here? You know,
sometimes it's like nothing's happening, and it's like too much
is happening. It feels like nothing happens for a long time,
and then everything happens and you're just like, what am
I like trying to like keep your head above water. Yes,
good or bad. So you'll have this record deal. Ryan
Seacrests discovered you. You've gone viral. Gold raises all over

(23:22):
like the radio, and it's like now it's being sinked
in the wah wahs, this big National gas station. It's
all over the place. So you're kind of crushing it.
You live in l A. You're hot, you're young, you
got you got jobs, you got music. Are you feeling great?
We were feeling on top of the world. I mean,
are you just feeling on fire? Feeling on fire, feeling
like we're really in her place, loving it, going on

(23:42):
hikes every day, like soaking up that vitamin D, living
that l a healthy lifestyle, drinking those juices, you know,
like not eating and just being like so fabulous, right,
like so detoxes. You know. It was awesome and it
was a really great time in her life where we
just felt like we were living to the fullest. And
I don't know, it's just like a fun time. We

(24:02):
even like we're walking down the street one time, I
don't know if you know this, and a limousine was
driving by. In the limousine, they all rolled their windows
down and they're honking at us and it was a
thousand horses. Did you know this? You're just so in sync.
They randomly were walking down the like they saw me
and Brendan walking our dog Mojo, And while they were
driving by on the limo and they happened to see us,

(24:24):
the universe collage at the exact same time. They're like,
what final Why were they in a limousine? I think
that they were. They were in l A for something.
They probably just signed their record deal. Probably, my god,
what a time, but what a time? Pent ups and horses.
We've always always intermitted. You know, there are like soul
people that you I'm gonna like divert here, like, Yeah,
I think we make agreements. I've I've done a lot

(24:46):
of like spiritual searching, and I feel like we make
agreements with souls that could to come into this life
together to experience it. And I feel like we must
have made an agreement because I do feel like we're
super intertwined. I love this. I'm so glad we made
that agreement. I am into it. I mean me too. Okay,
So how long were you in l A? Five years?
Five years? And then all of a sudden you said,
I need to get knocked up now, just like Carrot

(25:08):
got her feeling again. Pretty much, you get these feelings.
Live will be here, we will move to l A.
I will be pregnant. Like it just hit you. You You
just know when God's speaking to you. I was like,
I don't want to miss out on the opportunity of
having a child, like I at least want to try.
And if it doesn't happen, that's okay. But I want
to try. I just want to. And so we did,
and I don't know if you know, we had a
miscarriage for the first time, which I never talked about,

(25:31):
never talked about that because you actually you had told
me when you were pregnant that first time. Do you
know what's really I'm gonna cry cry. I was wearing this.
Do you remember the picture of you, me and Amanda
and we were at Whole Foods. We were at Whole
Foods when I told you I was I was pridingt
with our first and I wore this today because I'm
pretty with my third. I don't know why. I just
wanted to wear it today. It was like the first
time I told you, I was prettyant with our first night.

(25:51):
I wore this, so our wore it today with our
third and three kind of goes in with like the
third child. But it's very ball. So how was that miscarriage?
How did how did that hit you? I was young,
I was probably thirty, and you know, being in the
music industry at that time, you're just so concerned about
what people think about you. I was so nervous that

(26:13):
people were going to, like, not be receptive to the
fact that I wanted to have a family and I can.
I was just like, I know, I can do both.
I can be a mom, I can do the music thing.
So I didn't tell a lot of people about that miscarriage.
And now that I've had a kid and that I
haven't the one on the way, I feel kind of
like I was doing a disservice to that child or

(26:34):
to to that situation, just because it's like anything in
life deserves to be talked about, even if it's hard,
even even if it's uncomfortable, and I don't know, I
just it feels like it went by the wayside, and
it's something I never really talked about. It was not fun.
It was very painful and emotionally, very emotionally, I mean

(26:57):
I remember driving back with me and my husband and
my mother in law actually drove back from Nashville to
l A. We did like a three day like long
road trip. And I was still kind of going through
all that emotionally and all that. And I drove. I
was like, I want to drive. I literally didn't want
to share the drive with him. I was like, I'm
gonna drive us. I was like driving away from those emotions. Really,

(27:20):
it felt like a journey, because you know, I actually
like had my miscarriage in Franklin, like on Brennan's birthday.
It was it was like, awful, this is getting really real.
I had my miscarriage at the b m I Awards
and address everyone's up there celebrating awards, and I am
in the middle of a miscarriage. And I had the full,

(27:41):
like actual the most of it in the bathroom at
the vm MY Awards and I literally held it in
my hands and said a little payer and flushed it
down the toilet. I did not know that, Caroline, See,
this is what needs to We need to talk about
these things because it's like that is hard. It's really hard.
I never gave it that I like delt with a
lot but I like just trying to block it off.

(28:01):
I never knew that because it's like the epitome of
of the celebration, like life around everybody's so happy, and
then quietly, behind the scenes, you're dealing with something that's
so tumultuous that I love you. I love you, Okay,
so I love you. Let's send a little prayer to
those babies, yea, sweet little babies, yeah, that are still

(28:21):
out there and their souls, you know, and they came
here to teach us a lesson. We'll see him one day.
They're probably friends. They are, I'm sure they are, so okay,
haven't had the miscarriage And you kind of like brushed
it under the rug for a minute because you just
weren't really wanting to deal with it, and because I'm strong,
I can do this, thought I was so strong I
could like I'll just forget about it. That's what I did.

(28:45):
Stuffed it down. And then what happened after that, Like
how did you feel emotionally? How did you what were
the next steps of moving on full force? Let's do music?
This is this wasn't for us. We didn't want to
have you don't want to try again. We were like
not right now until six months later, and then I
was like, I want to try again. And we tried
again and we got pregnant with Rhodes like immediately like

(29:07):
after a few months, okay, which was and you're excited
and you're sharing it telling people yeah, because I remember
that too, like that feeling. And now I look back
on the music industry, I'm not even in the music
industry anymore, so anyone listening thinking that, like you are
stuck in like that you have to do something for
a career to be accepted. Like I was the same way.
I was, like I'm never going to make it in

(29:29):
the music industry if I'm pregnant or like whatever. You
have all this pressure that you have to be this
certain way, Like that's why I cut my hair care
because I always thought I had to be long and blond,
which is beautiful. But like I finally realized, like I
don't have to do things for anyone to make it anywhere. Like,
if you're gonna make it, it's because your soul is
leading you there and that's your destiny if you're in

(29:51):
alignment with it. But like I was the same way.
I was, like I can't be pregnant. I gotta wait
forever to have a baby because I got to make
it in the music industry. You're like, I never really
made in the music industry and I'm not even in
it anymore, and he's making these rules for our life.
Like no, no, I'm so glad you chopped your hair off,
because first of all, you look beautiful always, and second
of all, like, I'm chopping mine off as soon as

(30:12):
I have her done. Just it feels like shedding off
fed old layers. Freedom. This is not this doesn't defiance.
We have so much more to offer than what you
see on the exterior. I love that. I love it too.
So you got pregnant with Roads And how was that experience?
It was great? It was I was the only girl
like in l A. I felt like at the time
that was pregnant, Like you're on your own. You don't

(30:33):
have any friends pregnant, so it was just me and
like the pop phyzy classes, like trying to do a
bar like up until like month eight, I was like, Okay,
I can't do it anymore, you know, and like people
were like whoa, Like you're about to pop and I'm like,
I know. It was not like being pregnant in the South.
Let me tell you it was very different and fun,
but also like it's been like way more fun being
pregnant in the South. Let's be real quick, Like what

(30:54):
do you want, honey in a biscuit like gravy. They're like, oh, girl,
like you better like took it in. Oh god, a
little bit. It was a little bit. It's okay, thank god,
you're not in that right now. Yes, so you had
You're happy to be pregnant. You're kind of just like
in your own little world. And here it comes roads
and we actually a thousand horses in all of the
band family. We were on the road. I think the

(31:15):
guys were out with like Jason Aden at that time,
and we had rented this house in the Hollywood Hills,
and it was like amazing, all of the guys are there,
all the wives were there, everybody was there. It was
like a mansion. We were like we were living that life.
And Kara and Brennan and Rhodes came over like he
was like three weeks old. He was tiny, and you
brought him over to our Hollywood Hills mansion. Yeah, and

(31:36):
we like hung out like you like passed him around
like everybody loves on him. We were like, we miss home.
And that's when, honestly, that was one of the moments
when we were like, we're coming back. We miss our family,
we miss our friends, we miss our roots. We want
to community, have community, and in Alli is a great place,
but when you have a family out there, you feel
so isolated. It's just a young game and even though

(31:58):
we were young parents, it's just didn't feel right. And
so just like everything else, I said, we're moving, We're
going back home, like I knew it. And Britain was
like what Britain is just along for the ride. I
love it. He's like, Okay, Karri's got that feeling again.
God's talking to Carro again. Here we go, he goes, Carre.
You even said like, I'm going to Nashville. You can

(32:18):
come if you went, and he was like, well, I'm
I've got to come, and like we're going. We're going
to Nashville. You just knew, all right, let's go. I
want to get on this Nashville journey. But like, how
do you know when God's talking to you? What does
that feel like? Because I feel like people need to
like listen to this, to to understand that. Like God
talks to all of us, and it's like through feelings
that He gives us inside of us. God, Caroline, that's

(32:40):
like such a tough question, like how does feel it to? Yes,
I feel it when God talks to me. It's like
it's like it stops me in my tracks, and it's like,
if I don't do it, I feel so much resistance
that I'm not going into where I feel like I
know I need to go. Yes, it's almost like a poll.
The best way to describe it for me is a
magnetic feeling that like just draws you in and you

(33:01):
don't second guess it whatsoever. You have to do it
you have to do. You don't do it, you feel
like you're doing the wrong thing, you feel you just
feel lost. But the thing about it too is that
it doesn't always happen. So when it does happen, you
like definitely recognize it. There's no mistaking it. You know
this is good talking to me for sure? Follow it.

(33:22):
You have no idea where it's going. That's the other
scary part. But it's also like I feel like you
can have bravery with it because when you get those
feelings of knowing and you do have the courage to
trust that it is something higher. You will be led
down to the right road. But it might be messy,
it might be a wild journey. You might get in full,
it might be super painful, but it is like God

(33:45):
will lead you where you know you're supposed to go.
But you got to stick it out. You have to.
And it's it's not easy. No like sweating thinking about
how hard it can be. Okay, so Rhodes is born.
You have to move back to Nashville, and you'll move
back to Nashville with Rhodes. And thank god we did.
I mean, thank god we moved to Nashville. I mean
it's just like we did. We were like, we're going
to move here. We were packing up boxes when he

(34:06):
was ten weeks old, so like he would be sleeping
in the swing and I would turn up like the
little sound machine and just like slowly pull out the
packing tape and be like like quietly packing while my
baby finally slept. And I was like, this is the
definition of insanity. But one of my my best best
friends in my ROOMI from Nashville days. She flew to Nashville.

(34:28):
My name, her name is sorry. She flew to l A.
Julie Benavidez like an Earth angel. She's a nurse at Williamson.
She said, I'm coming to I'm coming to l A.
And she helped us pack up our apartment. She watched Roads.
She knows I'm a nervous flyer. When there was like turbulence,
she held Roads from me on the plane, changed his

(34:49):
diaper like. She flew back to Nashville with me with
my boy while Brennan and my brother in law j.
D um drove drove back to drove all of our
things back to Nashville. She just knew you needed that.
She was just like a godsend. But um, I kind
of got derailed there. Where was I going with all that?
So Rhodes is born. You're moving back to Nashville. You

(35:11):
have the support system. You're moving back to Nashville for
the support system because you know you need it. Now
you've flown, you've been free, You've had this like absolute
dream of l a experience that you knew you needed.
It's been great. You had it, and you're ready to
close that chapter. Five year years it was great and
it was time to move on, and you knew it
was time to move back. And you always knew were
going to move back to Nashville too. We felt it.

(35:31):
We were always said that, you said we'll be back
always and we were. We knew it would come back
to Nashville. But always have l a on the radar,
like because we would go four times a year before
the pandemic, just back and forth, you know, every couple
of months. We write with people out there. But yeah,
we knew we wanted to land in Nashville. We have
roots here, we have great family and friends. I'm from Indiana,

(35:52):
Like it's like a couple of hours to drive up there,
you know. So yeah, we knew when we came back. Okay,
so now let's talk about the journey with Rhodes. We
can talk about it. You were on such a musical
journey for pursuing that for so long, and then RHADS
came and it took you on a completely different journey,
completely different journey, completely different road and no pun intended
road pun intended. It literally roads rocked our world. Roads

(36:17):
rocked our world, and in a lot of good ways
and a lot of very very challenging ways. Okay, let's
talk about it. Where do we start? Started by when
did it. And this is a very brave conversation because
Kara has never been on a podcast and you have
been on this journey with Rhads. Now he's five and
a half, right, because you just said it and you've
been on this journey with him, you knew something was

(36:39):
going on. When I want to say about a year
and a half was when we kind of knew that
when he was a year and a half old. When
he was a year and a half old, what was happening.
He wasn't talking as much as you know typical year
two year and a half year olds do typically talk.
He he was still like super sweet and affectionate, loving
and all those yummy things that you want, but there

(37:02):
was like a disconnect and there was no sleep and
no consoling and you know a lot of things that
people are like, oh what are you talking about? Like
this is fine, Like this works for us. Nothing would
work for roads to calm him down, to calm him down,
to get him to sleep, um, to just help him
like fall into a rhythm. And that all kind of

(37:26):
started happening around a year to a year and a half.
So then what did you did? Something perk up on
you and you're like this is something, like it's not
off some there's something that we need to dive deeper into,
Like did you realize that like this wasn't just like
a baby not sleeping, that there's something else. My husband
was the one who kind of was like, I just
I swear that there's something wrong. I think there's something

(37:47):
going on here, you know, And I don't want to
say wrong because there's nothing wrong. It's just something. But
he I'm not trying to throw one bus. But he
was the one was like, either, yeah, he's a great father,
he's aware of his son. It's a wonderful thing. Yeah.
He was like, it feels not wrong. I shouldn't say wrong,
just something feels off, something needs to be off, addressed, addressed.

(38:11):
And so I, being a mom, was like, oh my gosh,
stop it, Like look at all the things he is doing.
I was focusing. I'm such a positive positive for thinking
like half class full, you know. I just was only
focusing on all the things that he was doing right.
And Brennan was like, I understand, he's doing all these

(38:31):
wonderful things, Karat, and you're an amazing mom and he's
an amazing child. We love him. But there's something going on.
And so Brennan was the one who thankfully was the
one who was like, we should go get his hearing tested,
we should go get him evaluated. We need to check
him out because it just seems like something's off here.
So what happened? How did you start the testing process?

(38:52):
So we went to Vanderbilt and they did. They were like, Okay,
we can just test his hearing if you want first,
or we can do um hearing, the test for hearing
and autism if you want to do both, just because
like sometimes the wait list is like six months, let's
just knock, knock, get out of the park. Like if
it's not this, then we know and we'll just move on. Right.
So I was like, whatever, how do you test for autism.

(39:14):
It's a whole like lengthy process where you go in. UM.
We went in with like a lady and they tested
hearing his hearing first, and he passes hearing completely fine,
which is a gift. I'm grateful that his hearing is fine.
But then they go in and it's like it's pretty traumatic,
Like you don't realize it, but like you go into

(39:35):
a room and somebody is like just doing all these
different things and like putting out toys and like seeing
how the kid interacts with the therapist or whatever. And
then they bring the mom over and they're like, okay,
like roads um, it's been so long, it's been like
three years, but like let's see if Rhodes will like
hands you the toy and look into your eyes, like
silly little things you wouldn't even think about. And these

(39:58):
are things that I, as a mother, wasn't even thinking
to look for. And so I'm sitting in this room
with Brennan behind me, with a lady, with my little
like two year old, and he's like not doing things
in front of my eyes, and I'm just realizing minute
by minute, I'm like, oh oh, oh, oh, that's not good.

(40:19):
Like everything is checking the box for autism. Everything. Yeah,
And then how do you feel when you start to
realize that this is probably his diagnosis. The clock was
on the wall and it was ticking louder and louder
and louder, and I just remember Brennan sitting behind me
and they're like, you know, you know, he would like

(40:40):
grab my face and like touch my face but then
look away, and I'm like, oh, that's how he loves me,
but like he wasn't doing it the right way. It's
it was a moment where where I just was sitting
there like he is, like, they're going to tell me.
I know, They're going to tell me something that I'm
not going to want to hear, and there's nothing that
I can do about it. I just have to sit
here and wait for the next moment and the next

(41:01):
question in the next task of the next test. And
it was pure torture, pure torture for a mother to
sit there and have to like be doing that in general,
you know, with their child and when you should be
at home like slugging on the couch or feeding him
like a little yogurt snack, you know what I'm saying.
It was it was like, so did they give you
the diagnosis that day? Um? It was I want to say,

(41:26):
an hour long. And then they went into the different
room and we just sat in the room with Rhods
for like thirty minutes and we played with him and
we were hanging out while we waited. And they did
come back that day and said that everything looked like
basically all signs point to an autism diagnosis. And I honestly,
like I just sobbed forever. I really did, for like forever.

(41:52):
I just sat in there and British literally hopelessness, like
the most I I've never felt that kind of feeling
in my entire life. You feel hopeless because you you
felt like at the time you couldn't do anything to
help him, or because all of a sudden, because we
have this idea of what motherhood is going to be like,
and all of a sudden, now it's like, oh my gosh,

(42:13):
I like you don't know how to walk into this next,
this next it's like a forest and you don't know
how to walk into it. There's all those things, for sure,
but like the number one thing is you feel like
I don't I can't fix this, Like how can I
fix this? Even though you don't feel like your child's broken,

(42:33):
there's like a combination of polar opposite feelings where you're
feeling so absolutely desperate and heartbroken and at the same time,
he's still the same child that walked in here, you know,
before a diagnosis, and he's still roade. So I'm just
now he has a title. And I remember in the
beginning you were so reluctant to use the word autism,

(42:55):
You're like I am not. You're like, I'm not going
to put this title on this, Like I'm not gonna
fully accept this. I'm going to move forward and I'm
going to find education and outlets. But like you did
not want to title it, and I love that, and
I get that because the title kind of that way.
But the title is so like like like we're talking
about who gets to make the rules for what we're

(43:17):
even talking about? I don't know, just just like our hair,
our hair, Yeah, who gets to make the rules for hair?
It's like who gets to make the rules for these titles?
You know? And that's how you felt. It's like, I'm
not going to fully accept this title. And so tell
me about your journey, because you have been on a
journey to find outlets to help him learn in a
way that he can receive it. Well, he's five and
a half and he was diagnosed right it too, So

(43:38):
this is like crazy to even to even be talking
about this because I have been so careful and like
working behind the scenes to be protective and I just
I don't I don't want, I don't know. I'm like you,
like a title is so crucial and it's such a
pivotal moment for somebody anything like even in high school

(43:59):
and someone's like, Oh, that's the cool crew, or oh
that's like the losers, or those are the nerds. It's
like it sticks separates people, and it sticks with you forever.
And it's the main strob is. It stings and it
burns and it separates, and it makes people form some
kind of opinion before they even know the person, and
it makes you form an opinion about yourself. Yeah, And

(44:19):
it's just it's such it's such a disservice. And you know,
all this time, I've been fighting, fighting to find my
son and he has I've been fighting for his voice.
I know I'm probably gonna cry thirty times today, so
just get ready. But if he doesn't have a voice,
how can I tell the whole world that he has autism?
That's not his I can't ship, I can't tell. It

(44:42):
felt so wrong to like just say that for him
when he hadn't even had a chance to fight for himself.
Does that make sense? It's because you were the authority, figures,
the older person, the caretaker. You knew in your heart
that it wasn't your story to tell it. Rhodes has
his own story, and you wanted him to be able
to tell it how he wanted to. Yeah, it's it's

(45:04):
like the most profound love. You don't want to speak
that title over him, that's not you want him to
have a say in it. Yes, And I know, I
know his potential and he's so so brilliant and so
smart and he understands every single thing. You just had
to unlock away for him to speak it and communicate it.
I've been shipping away at like a stone for so long,

(45:27):
and like I'm getting to the middle, and that's me
finding I've been on this journey to find my son
and it's been insane. It's been insane. So where did
you start? You get the diagnosis and now he's too
So what do you do with this? Like? What do
you do with this? I just remember going to the car,
putting him in his car seat and sobbing in the
parking garage. Overwhelming because now you know you have to

(45:50):
enter this whole new world that you have no idea
how to wear. And I only knew one of the
person that had a child on the spectrum. So literally
I went into survival mode and I went into like research, research, research, research,
fight for my kid. Whatever I can do, whatever diet works,
whatever you know, supplement anything and everything I could get

(46:12):
my hands on. I did all the reading, all the books.
I was fighting for him, and I feel like it
robbed me of a lot of time because I wasn't
just getting to like snuggle with my kid. I mean
I did all those things too, but like I was
literally like in survival mode of fighting against the clock
because it's a time thing. They say like, oh, if

(46:33):
they don't talk by the time they're such and such,
I'm even gonna say what age, but like six or whatever,
then they'll never talk. They put all these things out
there that you're just like that if you because your
child has this diagnosis, if you don't get to this
landmark by a certain time, then you're there, then you're screwed. Yeah,
that's terrified. You're already terrified, and now you have to
reach certain milestones at a certain time. Yes, And you're

(46:53):
a first time mom and you're alone because people aren't
necessarily always talking about this. No, and you don't feel
like you would just like say, I guess what, my
kid just got this diagnosis. Like I don't even have
the energy to say the A word because you're scared
to say it because it's more real. You're just literally
like paralyzed by fear and also simultaneously fighting fear kid

(47:14):
because he can't do it himself. I am literally his
number one advocate. So I was in like survival mode,
fight mode, the lowest trench of my life, like and
also like not getting to like just celebrate the fact
that I'm a first time mom and like just be
with my sweet child and go out into the world.
I was like, We've got shipped to do and we're

(47:35):
losing time. So it was all hands on deck. So
what did you do? I realized that he needed to
be on a gluten free and dairy free diet. I've
read all this research on how important that is because
inflammation is so prevalent in um a child's body that
has autism for whatever reason, I don't know, But so
we started doing and I just did all this. We

(47:58):
started taking out gluten, taking out dairy, and for a
two year old, that's really hard because they're picky eaters.
They want the macaroni and cheese, they don't want to
vegan stuff. But I introduced like these amazing um this
this doctor. He's a medical medium Instagram account and he
has this huge recipe about a brain detox which sounds

(48:18):
so intense, but like super antioxidants spirally in a smoothies,
wild blueberries, um, all these just phenomenal resources to help.
I was just trying to I thought I needed to
detox him because I didn't know what was going on.
Maybe there could be like it was it lead poisoning
or metal poisoning or like mold mold. Yeah, you thought
maybe like in l A, you had an apartment that

(48:39):
was moldy, like there could be mold in there, because
that was also a linked to all this, and you're
just you were saying anything that could be linked to this,
We're going to detox. Yes, And that's what we did.
And he was so sweet and like he did all
the things. But it was a long journey of guessing,
trial and error with a two year old, with a
two year old, yeah, also trying to like still work

(49:02):
on our music to pay the bills, like it was
a full time job on top of another full time job.
Your emotions are at a hundred with both at a million. Yeah,
So then when did you start to finally feel like
you were making progress? Like when did you finally feel like, Okay,
I'm actually chipping away, I'm actually seeing that this all
of my research and heart and soul and this work

(49:24):
in the trenches, I'm making progress. What was it that
made you feel like you were moving in the right direction.
Brennan and I always talked about how we don't know
what what came first, Like if it was all the therapies,
like the speech, the occupational therapy, the because you got
him in school, we're like a different kind of school.
We got him in in a school over at Vanderbilt
that that's like for autism, that like focus on primory.

(49:45):
This someone else is looking for this kind of school.
What is it called UM? The Bill Wilkerson Center. It's
UM the school for Autism there and they're phenomenal, but
they primarily focus on speech. So roads see, here's the thing.
Is like, if someone wants to say I was so
Everse was like, it's Caroline gonna ask me what autism is,
and I was gonna be like, I don't know, Caroline, serious,
it's like one of those things. What is it? It's

(50:06):
it's a spectrum. Well, because that's the thing. It's so
I've been on this journey for so long, and I
don't even know the actual Like the definition is bullshit
because literally, if you met one person with autism, you've
met one person with autism. There's the spectrum is so
broad and so unique. It's beautiful, but it makes it
so challenging because every like every situation is so different.

(50:31):
So Rhodes, his primary um hurdle is speech. He knows,
like he'll if we're talking to him, like, hey, Rhodes,
what's up? How are you doing? You're so handsome, he'd
be like, he knows what you're saying. He's so smart.
He is flying through all the things at school like
he's brilliant. He's he's brilliant. It's very hard for him

(50:52):
to get what's in here out here. It's like a carousel,
like the words are there and yeah, which is frustrating. Yeah,
So we're teaching him how to get those things out
and it's coming and he has words and he is verbal,
but how do you get how do you teach him that?
So reducing inflammation helped, and you were saying, when when

(51:13):
did I see progress? I noticed when we reduced inflammation
when we did a gluten free diet, which is why
I'm so happy to be here because I can help.
I hope I can help people if they have a diagnosis,
if they're hiding in the shadows like I wasn't not
telling the whole world because they're afraid of people judging
their child inflammation reduced so much as taking the gluten

(51:34):
out and taking the dairy, taking the gluten out, taking
the dairy out. Supplementing with UM vitamins because there's a
lot of deficiencies and children with autism where they're lacking
a lot of things Magnesium, full late, vitamin C, vitamin D,
a thousand of these just wonderful, yummy supplements that can
fill them, fill their well back up. Is there a

(51:54):
particular website that you went to or is this all
over the place. It's all over the place. But UM
the brand seeking health, Seeking health, seeking health, very clean,
gluten free line. The doctor is, he's a doctor, he's phenomenal.
I've even been taking his prenatals, and his prenatals are
even geared towards preventing autism. So like high levels of coline,

(52:17):
which you don't think to take high levels of full late,
not full like acid, full like acid is the synthetic,
man made version of full late. So the full late
is the green that you see in like your broccoli
or your kale, that yummy, richie goodness. That's better for
a person's body to break down than full like acid,
which in all prenatos, women are like, take your fullic acid.

(52:38):
It's like you need the full late. The full late
is going to be really good for the brain, for
the neurological system. Like that's all those things are gonna
be really beneficial to help preventing autism, which even though
we don't know what causes it, we know what can
help kind of like lessen those chances. So I think
all of those things in addition to we did a
whole year long detail programing room with UM a natural

(53:02):
path in Franklin with ROADS, and we did all of
these tests, all these panels. It was miserably pain What
is the natural path? They don't go like, you know,
like the best way to describe it is, there's nothing
wrong with Western medicine. I think it's phenomenal. I think
that you know, vaccines have saved the world. I think
that you each body is its own person, everyone's different.

(53:24):
What ROADS is his body can't handle certain toxins and
it can't expel certain things. So when we went to
a natural path, the natural path doctor looks at the
body and instead of just like saying, oh, you're sick,
let's put a band aid on it, they look at
the root cause and they say, well, let's look at
the reason behind this. What's the reason why does roads
have inflammation in his body. It's like a more natural,

(53:47):
holistic apport, just like trying to patch. It's like trying
to actually get to the Like you said, the root
which pass thinks up is not a bad thing. I'm
not saying that Western medicine is not amazing. Give there's
a place for both, for each individ jewel. Because let
me tell you, like when I went to this natural path,
he did all these tests, Like they did a yurine sample,
a stool sample of like blood draw which let me

(54:10):
tell you that's not fun for a two or a
five year old. But they found all these things that
are that could be contributing to auticis deficiencies, deficiencies um
mold toxicity, which we don't know. I mean, every house
has a small degree of mold to it. It's like
in our air. It's it's like completely difficult to just
completely get away from. But we there's like it was

(54:34):
almost it feels like, after all the things we learned
from the natural path, it feels like there was a
perfect storm maybe for Rose developing his autism, just with
like the mold toxicity and his body in particular. And
this might be a little bit of a hot topic.
I'm not saying I'm against this, so let me just
say that his body in particular does not tolerate vaccines well, yes,

(54:57):
hers might well. And I've also like just to hit
this hot topic. It's far I have um I have
talked to other people before where it's like it's not
that vaccines are bad, but it's like certain vaccines trigger
something and someone when you get that vaccine unlocks what
was already there. And so the vaccine, it's not necessarily

(55:20):
the vaccine, but it's like it triggers something in the combination,
unlocks something that's like the perfect storm. And that's what
I want to be really careful with saying, because I
think that like some of those vaccines, like they've saved
the world, like save so many lives of COVID. I
think they're great, But after knowing what I know, Rhodes
was diagnosed with an emt h f our gene mutation,

(55:42):
which I'm going to shout this from the rooftops because
I'm so I'm just not realizing like how important it is.
Like people actually have this genetic snip and it's called
it's the mt hf our gene mutation. Why we don't
talk about it before we get pregnant. Why we don't
talk about it while we're pregnant or while we're considering?
You know, how do you even know about what is it? Well?

(56:05):
You can find it, like if you do the what
is it? The the mom does the test? Yes, but
what is like the swab, like the g the gene oh,
when you test to see if you have like genetic
stuff genetic testing. Yes, people have this snip and you
can live fine with it. It's not a big deal.
But like the symptoms, some of the symptoms are really mild,
Like you're prone to getting headaches, or you have dark

(56:27):
circles under your eyes, or you're tired. Those are symptoms
of having an m t h f r g mutation.
Do you have it? I have one copy, but I
have one copy. Brennan has one copy, So what does
that mean? Rhodes has a double m T H F
r G mutation. And the only way to describe this
is that his natural path said, if there are ten

(56:48):
lanes in a freeway flowing your your freeway is flowing.
All tin lanes are flowing, fine carolines, fabulous and doing great. Right,
Rhodes has four out of the tin lanes that are
flowing freely because of this gene mutation. So what happens
You live in a house with a little bit of
mould toxicity that gunks up one more lane. You throw

(57:12):
in a little bit of maybe one of the vaccines
gunked it up a little bit more. It makes it
really challenging for roads body in particular to expel toxins
as opposed to somebody who doesn't have that mutation. It's
like whatever, like I'll get a vaccine or all. You know,
it's fine, no triggers happen. That's why, no triggers happen,
And that's great. But everybody's different, right, And I didn't

(57:35):
know that. So how would we test ahead of time
to know these things? Like how do you? I mean,
some of these things are probably pricey, but I mean
there are I know that what is that thing called
the Umian three or the one genetic testing that people
send off their ancestry um to see if they have
like so like the way you could touch with the
empty hf R is to see if the parents have it.

(57:58):
And if the parents have it, could you have tested
and Rhodes is born to see if he had this?
Probably so, But they don't. This isn't common knowledge. They
don't talk about it. They don't deep dive into anyone's body.
And until there's a problem important, until there's a problem
and they're like, oh, this was a problem, we could
have been you know, it could have been like alleviated
or whatever. So that is where all of this comes together,

(58:19):
of knowing like his body needs different things and his
body doesn't tolerate certain things, and knowing that we can
reduce all of these things that inflame his body. I've
seen such leaps and bounds in his vocabulary and his
his like temperament and his frustrations because he's centered and
he's more calm now. And oh, it's been a journey.

(58:43):
I remember you and I had breakfast. I'm gonna cry
you and I had breakfast. We were at uh was
at the Margo or like that person Marche and you said,
Rhodes looked in the eyes that I love you today
or something like that. You said, you don't know how
much that means to me, because so many parents take

(59:04):
that for granted that their kids can just say that
and convey that message. But you said, Rhades, that has
been hard, hard and impressed to get there, and him
doing it meant so much because it's such a journey
to hear those words out of his mouth in that
connection with your eye contact. And I was like, God, yeah,
I mean and even Mama, like, I don't get that

(59:27):
every day, and that's really crazy. It's that was one
thing that I was like, I really have to make
sure people realize that when they hear my story. Is
my child walked up to me maybe a month ago,
and he looked at me and he goes, Mama, and
he's five, He's five years old. And that was one
of the few times that he said it intentionally. He

(59:48):
can say it back to me if I say road
same MoMA, like mama, but on his own, unprompted. Those
moments are few and far in between, and and he
says it. I literally am like, this is the most
amazing moment of my life. And people complain about their
kids talking their ear off all the time. It's a

(01:00:10):
natural thing for parents like, oh my gosh, my kids
just like I just won't stop. You know. It's like
what people would do to have that. I'm fighting for
that and he's getting there. I'm like seeing that light.
But those moments are so special. And he like pointed
at Brendan, he was like, it's dad, you know, it's like,
this is such a beautiful gift from God. I will

(01:00:34):
never ever like nothing else matters to me, like a
gold record on the wall, like like it's all. It
puts so much into perspective, just so much into perspective.
And so yeah, when he said he loved me that day,
it was just like my gift. Like and to think
about his little heart, like he wants to say these things.

(01:00:55):
He you know, he's such a loving, sweet angel he
wants to say of I mean, it's just it's a
journey you fighting for him, and like all of the
parents out there who are in this journey, it is
so hard because like you said, every story is different,
everyone is different on what their needs are within this

(01:01:19):
spectrum everyone has. Everyone's body has different needs, and so
it's just like uncovering this mystery and chipping away at
the stone. Like you said, that's such a beautiful like visual.
It is such a full time commitment. You have to
have so many resources, You have to have so many
people like who are can help you. It is so hard.

(01:01:39):
So you can see why. So it is so frustrating
as a parent when you don't know where to start
and you don't feel like you have a resource. What
do you want to tell parents who are in this journey,
who feel hopeless, who feel like you? What do you
want to tell them? How do you get started? Where
do you go? How do you feel like? There is hope?
There's so much hope. There's so many things I want

(01:02:01):
to say, But the number one thing that I want
to start off by saying is that you start off
by thinking it's completely hopeless. That's normal. Don't feel bad,
don't feel bad, don't feel bad about it. You think
that it's going to be just like it feels like
a death sentence, but it turns into even though it
is a very very hard journey, I will not sugarcoat it.

(01:02:23):
It turns into such a beautiful thing that eventually you'll
find yourself stronger, more appreciative. You'll find these moments where
your child will surprise you and show up in so
many ways that you never thought could possibly imagine, Like
you wouldn't you would never expect that certain things to happen.
You find these magical moments when you don't stop fighting

(01:02:47):
for your kid, which no parents will stop fighting for
their child, obviously, but like you'll just you'll you'll find
yourself surprised as you feel what you do feel God.
There are moments when you feel like God has left you,
and that's that's very natural. But there are moments when
he shows up and you're like, you know he's been
here all along. I've just been so desperate I haven't

(01:03:08):
been able to hear him. But the main thing is
that there are so many moments when I wish I
had told more people I needed like support. And that
is such a big one, because I was in like
protective mode of road and you didn't want to put
this title out there, and I didn't want a title.

(01:03:28):
I didn't want you feel sorry for us. I don't
want us to be treated differently. I wanted to feel
normal for roads. You didn't want that on him, and
I didn't. I am a mom of Ara. But also
I want parents to know like they should tell their people.
They have to, because we told like a few friends
like you and Michael. We told you guys. I just

(01:03:51):
now I'm like starting to like openly talk to like
the other girls about it. But like it wasn't like
a big thing that people just knew to talk about.
It was behind the scenes, like everybody knew, but we
just didn't talk about it. And when you don't tell
people what you're going through, you're fighting it alone and
it you already feel like you're on an island. Not

(01:04:11):
everybody has autism, it's it's a journey. I want these
parents to know, tell your people that you love so
that they can love on you. And even if it sucks,
even if it's like I don't know what to say,
what do I say? Like what do people say to you?
Like they're they're not going to know what to say,
and that's okay. Just by knowing that people know that

(01:04:33):
you're going through a really hard time, they can be
there for you even if they don't know the right thing.
The right thing to say, is so much better than
secluding yourself, because I feel like in protecting Roads, I
have secluded myself because I've been fighting in the trenches
alone and it's not a it's not a journey to
be fought alone. Like you need people in your tribe

(01:04:56):
to fight with you, and we have that now. And
like we love our our family and our friends who
are there for us, but there was a moment where
people couldn't be there for us. Why because we didn't
let them. That's so profound and it's and it's so real,
it's so real. It's and I get care. I get
it because when you're in that like and you, like
we've talked about so much of this podcast, like you

(01:05:17):
are so intentional, you are so about manifesting in the
soul and all that, and like you didn't want to
put that on Roads. But what you're now you're saying,
is what I'm hearing you say, is actually supporting yourself
with the people that you trust and love. And it's
not like everyone needs to be in this inner circle.
It's like having the people that you know love you,

(01:05:39):
that you know love Roads, that you know want the
best for your life to be there because we want
the you're the best for your life, but like the
best for the people that you loved, life also includes
the worst moments, you know, like you can't have the
best without the worst. And that's what true love is
with it, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your friends,

(01:06:02):
whether it's your family, Like true love is the best
and the worst and doing it together. Yeah, we have
to be in community. We have to be in community.
We need We can't survive on our own. We can't
survive on our own because then we create all these
stories in our minds that we live in and these
dark shadows. But when you can share it, then all
of a sudden, you can help someone else. Someone else

(01:06:23):
can say, oh my god, that's my story too. I've
been so alone and so desperate, and now I can
feel like I can take a breath, you know, a
thousand percent. I know. Yeah, I just hope that that
can help somebody you know that's alone. Journey, Kara, this
is such a brave moment for you to share this.
How have you felt having to share this, not having
to share this, but gearing up for this because this

(01:06:44):
is a We've talked about it for a few years years.
I've been like Carrot, anytime you want to come on
the podcast, tell me when you're ready. I mean, this
is three and a half years of a journey of
me not telling hardly. I mean I haven't done anything.
I've thought about different ways have been like, you know,
I wrote to song. You felt like it had to
be a big moment. You had to make a big
moment until a big moment in a big stage could

(01:07:06):
happen where you can really like end it all and
and like have this, like not cure, but like have
this moment of perfection, have a foundation to help autism,
and like this is gonna take me ten years. I
have all these dreams. But like I wrote a song
about it. It was like the most vulnerable song and
it's called Cry and it literally I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna do a photo shoot and it's gonna be

(01:07:27):
like all this and it's about road diagnosis. It's like
you have to make it a moment. It's not about me.
It's not about me. But it's hard to know that
because it is about you, because it's your life and
you're on your own journey with it that you're doing
it selflessly for the benefit and the betterment of Roads.
But it is also about you because it is your life,
but it's not about you. So it's hard because you
have to be completely selfless and so like you have

(01:07:49):
to put your feelings and everything completely on the background.
Which is that not the biggest connection to God. It's
the greatest connection, but it's like you have to put
all of yourself like on it's all about Roads, but
in the meantime, it's all about you finding all the
ways to help Roads. So it's like you've devoted her
a life. It's so much to deal with. It's a

(01:08:09):
lotnch of process. So I kept putting it back. I'm like, oh, okay,
and you're like, anytime you want, Kara, we'll talk about it.
I was like when I'm like, when I have something
to offer people, like when I have something to help
change the world, and you're like, You're like, it has
to be tangible to be like I have to make
this box so that that I can like send to parents,
I have to have a song or have but really,

(01:08:30):
you have a story and that's what you made me realize.
And I literally had zero nerves coming today. I just
I was just while I was getting ready. I was
just like kind of I cried like three times because
I'm like, I have never told this story and it's healing,
and I just want to get it out there. If
it can help one person, then that's gonna do some
good in the world, you know. And I want to

(01:08:51):
get that energy out before she gets here. I want
to have all positive things coming our way. And also
for people to know, like, where have you been the
last three years? Like I've been like behind the scenes,
like fighting to find my child, and if somebody else
is also doing that same quietly behind the scenes, Like
I want them to reach out to me if they

(01:09:12):
want support, if they want a friend, if they want
resources where they can find me on Instagram, tell us
your handle and spell your name, because you have a
very special like you have a beauty Cara, but you
spell with it. I mean, my Instagram is just Kara Lord.
It's k h A R A l O R D.
And a lot of it's going to be like music stuff.
A lot of it's gonna be baby bump stuff. And
you're gonna see Karen your see like this is one

(01:09:33):
of the most beautiful people you've ever seen. You have
such a unique look like I've always told you this.
You are such a like a girl unique beauty. Like
when you see you, you don't forget your face. You
have this like vibe and you and Brennan together like
you'll have such a vibe, such a just like. But
it's not just like, not like y'all are just like
beautiful on the outside to look at because you are.
But there's like this uniqueness that just flows through you,

(01:09:56):
that has always flowed through you. I appreciate that. Thank
you so much. I just I'll take it. I feel
so honored that you would trust this me and this
podcast to share this story because this is such an
incredible thing to share with your heart. And I get
having to get it out, like I feel that to

(01:10:16):
my core, like I have to get things out of
me when I know and you knew it, Like again,
you know, you knew you needed to get this out fully,
not that you haven't started to share, but you needed
to fully share it before you enter into this new
chapter with Live. It's crazy, it's like the most perfect
timing and it's Valentine's Day, it's love, it's all just

(01:10:38):
I truly can't even believe we had this conversation I
mean about it, I feel so good. I feel like
any kind of like, how do you like you're gonna
call me and be like, oh my god. No, I
thought I would be sobbing the whole time. But it
feels like very therapeutic and just like it didn't have
to be this grand thing like it's it's going to
help somebody, even if it helps one person. I mean,

(01:10:58):
it just helped me, so if that's one person to help,
and it helped me too, because you know what else
this did for me, It made me realize once again
this podcast, I get to talk to incredible people, all
with different stories that we are all walking a story,
and we are all sometimes in the trenches. Sometimes you're
in l a living golden rays. You're roller skating down

(01:11:20):
being played all your music on Ryan Seacrest, like your
songs everywhere every gas station there you are going to
play You're The video literally cares on roller skates, like
floating around singing gold rays, jumping into a pool, living
that life. And there are seasons where we are flying
high and living just as light as a bird, and
then there are seasons and we are deep, deep, deep

(01:11:40):
in the trenches and feeling like don't have a way out,
and how ironic that you went from golden raised to
the depth of the trenches and it can flip on
a dime like that, and it's all blessings because you
have this child that's communal life, that's blessed you, and
it's like you're blessed, But then it's also you have
the hardest challenge of your life you've ever experienced, and
like you go from one extreme to the other to

(01:12:02):
the and it that is life, and that is the journey,
and that is the road that we all have to
journey down. And everybody's road is different and there is
nothing to be ashamed about too, Like you said, sharing
these stories, like it is so important to share the

(01:12:23):
stories when we feel called to share them because that
is how we heal, and we all have things to
heal from. That's a common bond. That's like going to
remind us that we're all on this together and that
nobody is nobody has this perfect experience. We all are
going through things and if we don't share them and
lean on each other, then how can we get through?

(01:12:44):
And we make each other better and stronger. And then
you realize things that you thought were like a death
sentence or something so hard to deal with. The beginning
actually become a blessing and you're able to bless so
many people. Girl, you were just hitting the nail right
on the head. It's so true. I'm so proud of you, Kara,
and I feel like this is so divine and timing

(01:13:07):
is divine. Okay, So tell me what you are calling
in for this new chapter, because this is your excel.
You're expelling, like this one part of your journey and
now you're entering into a new chapter. Live is coming.

(01:13:28):
Tell me what you're calling into your existence right now?
Just healing going through another pregnancy was such a like
just a leap of faith, being nervous about having another
child on the spectrum, letting it all go and just
diving in and saying, I don't know what's going to happen,
but she is coming. I know she's going to be here.

(01:13:50):
This is I am. I'm wanting a healing, beautiful journey.
I love that it's a girl. It's the different journey
we've had. We've had a boy. We have a world like,
there's not gonna be comparison. It's going to be her
own journey, Rhodes Journey, both beautiful journeys, but I just
like proclaiming I want a healing journey. I've heard so

(01:14:13):
many people. A friend of mine's daughter, Um has Down syndrome,
and the day she told me that that she had
Down syndrome, she was sobbing. And a few years later,
here we are and she's like, this has actually been
the greatest gift of my entire life. She's even easier
than like my neurotypical son, right, but she said the
thing about her second child. He was completely neurotypical and fine,

(01:14:37):
but it was healing for her in so many ways
that she didn't even realize she needed. And I'm just
hoping that this journey with her heals the broken parts
of me that I've kind of like dealt with along
the way. Not saying that this was going to be
better and it's just a different journey, but I'm accepting
and embracing this new season of like a breath of

(01:14:58):
fresh air of I really just want it, because say,
let's say it as an affirmation, let's speak it as
into existence. What is the proclamation you want to say, Like,
just like your mantra, what do you want to say
is that I will have freedom moving forward and I
will have healing. I love that's happening. I know it

(01:15:19):
is it up. I feel it to my toes. I
have full body chills. I know that is happening. And
I know that this season of healing is coming into
your life. And Live is not only here to be
a blessing for her own journey, but she's here to
bless your family. She's here to be Rhodes blessing. She
is going to be a healing energy, and she's from

(01:15:41):
God and she's divine, and she's been coming for a
long time. It is perfect timing. I will accept, embrace
all of that. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Thank
you so much, of you so much. I always wrap
the people leave your light, which is what do you
want people to know? What do I want people to know?
Just open, never never give up, never ever give up,

(01:16:03):
and just keep on going after what you believe in
your soul, and then you'll never you'll never fail. Just
never stop, never stop, never give up. I love you
so much for sharing the story with me. It means
so much to me, and I mean so much to
the listeners, and I just am so thankful that this
is where you felt safe to come do this, and
to me, this is a big moment. This is a

(01:16:23):
huge moment because this is a release for you. You
doesn't have to be some fancy thing. It doesn't have
you wrapped up in a bow, because when do we
ever let wrap life up in a bow? We don't.
You can't wrap it up in a bow. So this
is that moment. And I am so thankful to have
this with you, and I love you so much. Thank
you for having me. Love you so much. I love God.

(01:16:46):
Bless live God, bless Rose, God, bless you and Brennan.
May you just be healed and blessed for all of
your days. Thank you, Carol. I love you. I love you.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}KHARA LORD AERTS: My SOUL sister shares the remarkable journey she's had following her dreams and navigating motherhood!

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.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}The Bright Side

Ways To Win

Dateline NBC

All Episodes

KHARA LORD AERTS: My SOUL sister shares the remarkable journey she's had following her dreams and navigating motherhood!

The Bright Side