Laura Day, world-renowned intuitive healer, has spent more than 40 years helping people harness the power of practical intuition to heal and transform their lives. From her breakout on The Oprah Winfrey Show with Demi Moore to her bestselling books and work with major companies, she’s become one of the great minds of our generation. But her gift was born from pain—Laura grew up in a turbulent home, lost her mother and two siblings to suicide, and survived by tuning into her intuition, which she says “saved my life.”
Now, in her groundbreaking new book The Prism: Seven Steps to Heal and Transform Your Future, Laura distills decades of wisdom into one revolutionary system. At its core are the seven ego centers, showing how childhood wounds distort our “prism” and shape repeating life patterns—until we do the healing work to repair them. With compassion, clarity, and lived experience, Laura offers not just tools for reframing trauma, but a path to becoming the hero of your own story.
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Carl Lamb. She's a queen and talking song.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
She's getting not afraid to feed the episode, so just
let it flow. No one can do wequired, like carylne
is sounding, Caroline, I am very excited to be here
with Laura Day.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
You are such a special person. Laura Day. You have
written how.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Many books now this is my seventh.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
And many of them have been best sellers, one worst sellers. Hey,
you know you got to write them all though, right.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No risk, no reward, no lotus. Right.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Amen to that.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You have your new book out, The Prism, which I
us read and absolutely loved. And I also watched your
interview that you did with Oprah on this new book,
The Prism, and Demmy Moore was a guest on that interview,
and I was just I'm so blown away by your
story because I feel like you really let.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Us in to your story on this book.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
As well as like a seven Steps to Heal your
past and transform your future, Like you literally are giving
people a toolbook on how to identify the roadblocks in
your life and how to transform them, and you let
you help people understand their tragedies too, because you come
(01:41):
from such a traumatic upbringing. But do you feel like
that is what has caused you to have all your gifts.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well, no, I mean I think if you survive, I
also have you know, a mother and two siblings who suicided.
I think if you if you survive, you use what
you have. And you know, I was lucky enough to
be given the prism intuitively, really early in life, which
is why I wanted to put it down for everyone else. No,
(02:12):
ideally you have a wonderful childhood and incredible role models,
and your ego forms in a way that you easily
create what you want in your life and bounce back
from frustrations. But for most, or I want to say most,
let me be let me have some wishful thinking here.
For many people that is not the case, and it
(02:36):
is you know, I think we're taught to feel like
something's wrong with us, and it's really not. We just
don't have If you don't if you don't have the
user's manual, it's very hard to use the tool.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
So I kind of just want to talk a little
bit about your upbringing because I well, when I heard
you talking about on Oprah, I was blown away. And
then I was reading it in the book and I
was like oh my gosh, this is in the book.
You share this like you should go so deep with this,
which I am so grateful that you are so vulnerable
with your story. But you grew up in with two
very extreme parent personality types, or we can.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Really just call them what they were, you know, very
very disturbed. Some people should not, you know, should not
have children.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So you're and your parents like when they it felt
kind of like your dad sort of like swooped your
mom away and kind of married her quickly, like she.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Well, actually, you know where. So the way the prison
is structured is you take your original structure and you
now that you're an adult, you can restructure yourself with simple,
simple changes. And we are working right now on what
we call the first ego center. What was what's your
foundation story? Mine was my mother was bipolar one. During
(03:54):
a manic episode, my father eloped with her and got
her prey within the first couple weeks, So I first
three months had a bath of in uterothorozine, and then
you know, one thing led to another. I mean, it's
not that he was a doctor. It's not that she
couldn't have had an abortion, and she said she seriously
(04:16):
considered it, but she didn't. And I was there to
trap my mother. That was my That is my origin story.
I was. I was there to anchor my mother in
a marriage that she did during a manic phase. Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So she really never was aware consciously wanting to get
married or have a kid.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
It just sort of happened to you.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
She didn't want to have My mother was a borderline
and a manic depressor, and she did not want to
I think she had no intentions of doing either. But
you know, mania is psychosis. My father was a doctor,
took advantage of it, married her, you know, married her
right away. And you know, I mean my origin story
(05:08):
is she said, you know, she thought about aborting me,
but that when she helped me in her arms, she
was so glad she didn't. And you know, kind of
even that is such an odd thing. I mean, no,
I didn't want you, but you were so fabulous that
I had to keep you. But the message is also
(05:31):
keeping fabulous. And you know, it's funny that you say
how vulnerable I was to write the story in on Oprah.
I have to say that when you write something and this.
Some of my books are written books, some of them
are what I call channel books. Two of them are
channel books, which means they really came through me without
necessarily being a part of me. One is The Circle,
(05:54):
which I still practice in my own life, and then
the Prison, which I also practice in my own life.
And when Oprah I don't know if you can see
this on camera, but when she brought up my history,
which was the first interview where that happened, I was like,
did I really write that? But I was like, oh, wow,
I'm not sure I really want to talk about this.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah, because you have a very long relationship with Oprah,
because you immediately somehow you met up with Demi Moore,
Demi Moore right away.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Thirty odd thirty three years ago or thirty two years ago.
That was to me. I didn't have a TV, so
I didn't know what Oprah was. And she swooped in
and said, you've got to come with me to Chicago.
You've got to do this. And I'm like, there's no
(06:46):
way now I'm getting on a plane, and she is, yes,
you are, and anyone who knows to me that is
one bossy girl. And so she put she literally put
me on a plane, promised me I'd be back by
the time my son got home from school. I wasn't
and and took me to Oprah, you know, had my
makeup done on the plane, and took me to Oprah.
(07:09):
And that was really an Oprah to me, made that
practical intuition, my first book a bestseller, and it was
really a coming home to be back on Oprah and
to have to me. Dem did not tell me she
was coming on until the night before, and I'm so
(07:29):
glad she told me, because I hate surprise. There's even
good ones, but she did. She just kind of popped
on and then she and Oprah got very spiritual. I'm
much more pragmatic. I'm much more you know, life is
hard enough with all the without like the bells and
whistles and the green juices and the mantras. You know,
(07:50):
I want I personally am very much on the side
of do something tiny different. Please don't add something to
my already over full plate. Please don't make me feel
any more incompetent than I already feel doing everything. Every day.
You know, you walk out, you get a run in
(08:11):
your tights, you think, oh really, may you know it's
life is full of stuff, and I'm I think it's
wonderful to take time if you can, to delve deep
into all of the mysteries, but especially the prism is about.
(08:31):
This is not another thing you have to practice twenty
minutes a day. You know. This is something where you
make a small change and the world meets you, not
a change inside yourself. Because I really I feel like
it is again kind of annihilating to say, use your
broken tool to fix your broken system. You know there
(08:54):
is we are and this is not very popular, but
we are mechanical, magnificent ones. I mean, if you look
at the human circulatory system, you think, wow, you know,
whoever created this is genius. But we are systems within
a system you know that has rules within a system
(09:14):
within a solar system within a bigger system, and a
bigger system, which means that one domino down changes everything
because we're interrelated. So why make it so overwhelming? And
I think that that's I just I got really tired
of seeing because I answer all my own emails because
people just say such personal things. I got really tired
(09:37):
of people saying, well, I'm doing this and I'm paying
for this and I'm practicing this, but I'm clearly not
doing it well enough. I'm like, no, a system is
supposed to work for you. It's not about your doing
better that It was really disempowering to people, all of
these complicated, convoluted practices, and then the response when they
(09:58):
didn't work was as well, you know, you didn't believe enough.
I mean, if you need to believe, then belief works,
the tool doesn't. So this was really my response and
it came very powerfully. You know, when there were after
I saw a lot of losses in my environment.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
So I kind of want to go back to the
beginning of your rigin story because, like you said, that's
in the prism, that's this first how do you first
step right is identifying your origin story.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Well, no, in the prison, I will go back to
my origin story about my favorite topic. But I will
go back there. But like in meditations when people go
go back to a time in your childhood, I'm like,
there is no way I'm going back there. But the
prism is not about going back. The prison is about
being right here, right now, knowing what your three goals
(10:50):
are and doing something different and allowing yourself to encounter
the achieving what you want as a way to changing
yourself instead of continually beating yourself up. But my origin
story was I was born to a violent, abusive, narcissistic
doctor who got a manic, depressive, borderline girl woman pregnant
(11:19):
and then got her pregnant every year. And so I
had at five, I had three younger siblings. We lived
in a separate apartment from our parents.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
That's what I cannot wrap my head around.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Without an adult. So my baby sister of blessed memory
was probably like stabbed with those ducky pins. This is
before disposable diapers, you know where you had those little
safety ducky pins where you'd put a cloth diaper on
and then put rubber pants on. And I would get
on a step stool and put her on the changing table,
and you know, I was five years old. We had
(11:56):
to go out into a public hallway and ring the
doorbell or bad because we weren't tall enough at five
to ring to get into our parents' apartment.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And how did I just like, I have only one daughter,
and I remember how petrified I was taking care of her,
that like I was going to do something wrong, because.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
They're so fragile when they're little, like the baby.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
What I heard is that they're pretty indestructible babies. They're
not easy. They're not that easy to kill.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
So but like sleeping and like you were in charge
of like the naps and the bed time.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
No no, no, no, no no. Mostly it was at night
that we were alone. There were days also that we
were alone, but mostly it was you know, from eight
to night to eight in the morning or seven at
night to seven in the morning. So I did know
how to heat up a bottle or change a diaper
or you know, I didn't change a sheet. I would
(12:51):
just put a child back in a wet bed. But
but you know, it was, it was. It was chaotic,
and I think it wasn't identified as chaotic because my
parents were affluent. I mean, my father was a doctor
at New York Hospital Cornell. My mother came from you know,
(13:12):
she graduated from Sarah Lawrence. Her mother graduated from Vassar.
I mean, you know, things like this. I actually went
quite a few times to the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children when I was probably about twelve
and thirteen, and it was on my way home from school,
was at the bus stop on Seventh Avenue and fourteenth Street.
(13:34):
I'm sorry, Seventh Avenue twenty third Street, and I would
tell them and they would I don't know if they
ever did anything. If they did, my father certainly never
mentioned it, and we were never taken out of the situation,
but it you know, people, people just didn't interfere, especially
(13:57):
in those days in you know, know, well off white families.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, just like here note egle will see no evil,
just like brushed onder the rug, pret like it's not happening.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I mean, now, if there was a file like that
in a organization, I think there'd be some real trouble,
but not back then. So you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Started telepathically communicating with your mother though, Is that when
you started realizing you had these gifts?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
No, because as a child, you and I think everybody
listening can identify with the fact that as a child,
the things you think are weird are not weird, you know,
I don't know, like the fact that you're you're a
stick out. But the things that really are weird you
think are completely normal because they are parts of your
(14:50):
daily life. So telepathy and kind of having a sense
of what was going to happen, and being able to
view someplace that I'd never been and I didn't have
any awareness that other people didn't experience that. And also
when you are in a home that is dysfunctional, I
(15:14):
think that even though you're not even aware it is dysfunctional,
this is just your home and your family. There's a
certain degree of secrecy that is just ingrained in you.
It's not even that you keep a secret, it's that
you'd never even think to express it. And there's one
point I think I put it in the book. I
never remember what I put in. Where where my mother
(15:37):
my grandmother had slept. My parents had separated, my grandmother.
I was the only child home. The other kids were
at camp, and my grandmother had slept in the apartment
with me, and neither of us had keys to the
adult the grown ups apartment is what we called it.
And she was in for a week or two, I guess,
trying to support my mother. And I knew my mother
(15:59):
was I knew she'd taken an overdose, and I'd been
banging on the wall trying to get her attention, but
I didn't have a key, and so I dialed. I
picked up the phonat to dial the police, to dial
nine to one one, which was not the first time
I'd done that, and she said, don't do that. The
neighbors will know. And you know, I didn't even realize
(16:20):
I knew this. But I looked at you, I said, grandmother,
neighbors know. I mean, the police had been called multiple times,
but it wasn't conscious in me that this was something different,
and the neighbors knew. And you know, again, in this
day and age, especially in the socioeconomic group I grew
up in, maybe somebody would have reported, you know. I
(16:45):
mean sometimes we get locked out of the apartment and
we'd be sitting outside the door in a public hallway
and our panties and tisha. I mean, someone might have
reported it. But back then I people just people didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You said that your intuition is what saved your life,
and you kind of I feel like, is that what
you're wanting people to understand about themselves is that they
have the same power to tap into their intuition.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Not only do they have, yes, but not just intuition.
You know, people have so many things to save their lives,
you know, connection to one another. I mean, whenever I
don't take a moment to go that extra mile for
somebody when I can easily do it, I think, oh wait,
(17:46):
I might be the only one doing this because so
many people went the extra mile for me, whether they
were teachers or neighbors or a policeman in the area.
It's it really, Yes, into tuition saved me. Your intellect
can save you, your community, your connections, your sunny personality,
(18:11):
so many different things, but we all do have something.
What the prism is is if your structure, if your eye,
if your ego was formed in a way that you
don't have receptors for wealth, or for love, or for ease,
or for health or for happiness, here is how a
(18:33):
healthy part would have formed. But you don't even have
to read that. All you have to do is go
to the chapter that has what you're missing in it
and do one small thing. I mean, on some level,
I wrote this book. I'm sixty six years old, and
I wrote this book very comprehensively in a way that
(18:53):
I really it's the first time I've written such a
comprehensive book because I thought, you know what, teachers can
use this, therapist can use this intuitive teachers, healing teachers,
medical students, and I really wanted to put in all
of the information, really make it a textbook. However, if
(19:13):
the reader who just wants to fix their external life.
This isn't about fixing you. You don't need fixing. It's
about fixing your world. Your new opportunities will fix you.
You know, you fall in love. I was not ready
for love when I fell in love, even though it
was one of my goals. But my husband showed up.
(19:34):
My now husband showed up and said, listen, I'm not
going to stalk you, but I'm not going to go away.
He was as good as his word. He wasn't my type.
He had no deep seated rage, he was employed, he
got along with his family, he had no character disorder.
He was completely boring to me. But that one of
my goals was to be in relationship and you know,
(20:00):
in a good relationship. And he didn't disappear. And one day,
because he was so constantly wonderful and there coming up
against me and you know, kind of challenging my fallacies
and adoring me. And he's also really hot, which helped.
One day I was like, oh wow, like this is
(20:21):
the most amazing part of you know, my reality, other
than my son, who's always the most amazing part. Like
it took me, I would say it took me a
year and a half to two years of having exactly
what I wanted to accept, to have a receptor that
could accept a relationship that wasn't full of drama and trauma.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
And do you take that back to the prism.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
You worked these steps in the prism to get to
that place where you could actually accept a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I actually take it back to the Circle, which is
the precursor to the prism.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
So they kind of go together.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yes, the circle is the broad brush. The Prism has
really the detailed things.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Because what I realized was that with the Circle, where
you really have a goal and it takes you through elements,
was that people really wanted to know what we're taught
to intellectualize.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
They wanted to know what they were doing, and they
want very specific instructions. You know, not deal with outer
roadblocks in your life, but say yes to everything safe
for three days. Like they wanted very specific prescriptions. And
I serve my students, I mean that is my goal
(21:41):
is to is to serve the my students, serve the people,
my readers, serve, you know, serve humanity in some way.
Because I have been also so wonderfully served myself by
by others just by having me on the show again
for this new book. You know, I mean so that
(22:06):
you know I totally lost my trainer thought, I'm not
even going to fake it.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Oh, same with me.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
We're talking about, though, how the circle and the prism
go together, and how you have worked these steps continuously,
and that is how you're able to accept a healthy
relationship when there was no trauma or drama in it,
not accept.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I didn't accept first it came so it.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Was a match.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
So you were a match for it because you attracted it.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Well, I don't know at the time. I wasn't a match.
My poor, poor husband, my poor long suffering husband. But
it made me you know what the prism is? People say,
how is this different from self? All the other self help?
Most self help says, look deeply in yourself, look deeply
at your history. Do healing make profound changes. Mine says,
(22:51):
we're a different colored shirt and go out somewhere like
very simple. And what happens is so my prison and
change was that I just stopped. Even though I really
wanted to feel loved and wanted I'd been in a
really bad situation. I did not date anyone who asked
(23:16):
me out or anyone I met who I liked. I
asked two people. I thought. The one place my intuition
is being completely overrun by my patterns is my choice
of men, not my choice of friends. I have amazing friends,
but my choice of partners I actually have best. My
(23:37):
best male friend is over thirty years. Was a great
choice too, But once it got family romantic, I would
choose my parents. So I asked my two dearest friends,
who had long marriages to good men, to pick me
people to date, all of whom were just smotheringly boring
(24:00):
as much, but they weren't. They were amazing, you know, intelligent, warm, normal,
successful people. I just had no receptors open to that.
But ultimately I put one foot in front of the
other and I stuck to the discipline that I had chosen,
(24:20):
which is really you know, also, what the prism is
your patterns. What resonates with you is part of your
sick part. You want something new, You've got to do
something new, not think something new. You've got to do
something new because think can trick you. So that was
the new thing I did, and ultimately my students call him.
(24:40):
It's been fourteen years. I swow I never get married.
I've been married for eleven My students call him delicious Stephen.
And you know, because of trauma. When I wake up
in the morning, every morning, I wake up, make sure
he's still breathing, and then I think, just whatever, I
think my own prism, thank the people around me. I think,
(25:02):
you know, intuition, I just I'm so grateful that I
have this in my life.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
So you say intuition comes in the same portal that
other things come in, is it memories and thoughts? Like
there's like it comes into. It can be confused. Your
intuition can get confused.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
So your your intuition comes through the same five senses
you know everyone's waiting for, like a unicorn with a
sign on it. It comes in through the same five senses.
You get all the other information, but it also includes
the gestalt of those senses, which are memories, which are thoughts.
But the problem with and I can't read myself very well.
(25:44):
I mean, every once in a while get hit over
the head with something, But most of the time I'm
as subjective as anyone.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
I fear my fears, I hope my wishes. Depending on
my blood sugar level, I'm either predicting through my fears
yours or predicting through my wishes. But luckily I train.
I have something called boot camp where I train intuitives
because I really only take four clients at a time,
So so I train intuitives, and so thankfully they they
(26:17):
are removed from me. They have perspective enough and their
balls enough to just tell it to me straight, predict
for me straight. You know, experience when I'm kidding myself,
and some of it's real unpleasant. I got to tell you.
You know, if you walk out of a reading feeling
like you're doing everything right and yet not everything is
(26:38):
going right in your life, it's probably not a very
good reading.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So do you do readings often for people? Is that it?
Could it come to you easily? Or is it hard
for you to get a reading for someone?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
That is my only state. I'm not really great at
a dinner party because I just don't even remember the
culture or the politics. But if you want to talk
about you know, your life, your past, your future, and
you want me to look for you, that I can do,
but I don't take I work. My day job is
(27:12):
I work for four large companies predicting the future. I
also teach, and I love to teach. I love to lecture,
and when I teach in lecture, I tend to also read,
but not in a formal reading sense. It's just if
people are reading, I read their readings for accuracy, so
I reread. I mean iat on Instagram lives, you know,
(27:35):
I'll see a reading that just doesn't quite make sense.
I'm like, you know, you might want to redo that,
or my especially my students. Because I do train. I
train intuitives for both business. I train therapists and intuition.
I train physicians and intuition because an intuitive shouldn't be
your therapist. Your therapist is trained to be your therapist,
shouldn't be your doctor, shouldn't be your investment counselor. But
(27:59):
you certainly want these people to have intuitive skills because
it gives them an edge to be able to address
your needs. And of course, the real magic, if you will,
of intuition is intuition's ability to accurately predict the future.
And again, you can't do that for yourself. I mean,
if you are worried you're going to die in a
(28:21):
fiery crash, and you've had that worry for years, I
guarantee that it's not how you're going to go. You know,
that's your that's your neurosis. Intuition is accurate, actionable, and immediate.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Okay, So how do you know when it's your intuition
speaking and not like a memory or a thought or
one of the other You don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
What you do do is you you integrate intuition in
your normal functioning by having goals. You document the intuitions
that come to you that other people have for you.
So what do I mean by intuitions? They could be thoughts,
they could be neuros, but those out of the blue,
(29:02):
very detailed. You know. Intuition isn't you need love? Wear
more blue?
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Intuition is hmm, an initial b a cow rancher, shrimp table,
big love, and means nothing until you're at the party
three days later at the shrimp.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
Table you think, oh, how nice they have a shrimp table,
and some rancher named Bobby comes up to you and
you look at them twice because you have documented, because
remember memory, your mind's a messy place, and memory.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Is inaccurate, you know. But part of the intuitive training
is learning to document. Now in the prism, how we
use intuition and it is really by first of all,
picking an action that doesn't resonate with us if it
resonates to an old deal, a safe action, doing it repetitively,
(29:57):
but then noticing what's new, and again documenting it. And
what you'll find is before you even understand the prediction,
you've already created what will happen. Because the real danger
with prediction, and the thing I'm very very hard on
my students about, is a good prediction if it doesn't
(30:19):
predict something someone wants, should be followed by predictions that
can be verified over the passage of time with how
to change it, you know, if you can't.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
So you're trying to say, no prediction is ever set
in stone. If you get a prediction that you don't like,
you can change it.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Most of the time. I mean, you know, there are
definite things if someone predicts. I mean, you know, I
want to find something not awful, because you know, people
use intuition to scare themselves, and they should be using
it to make their lives more what they want, to
make things easier, to make better choices, so they get
(31:01):
into less trouble, so they waste less energy, cleaning up
messes that they habitually create over and over, which is
why I wrote the prism. You will create the same
mess in different ways, in different situations, and one small
change keeps you from doing that. But if someone if
someone predicts that, if someone predicts something that's already there,
(31:29):
that you will see. I don't want to do something
that scares people because people people are just looking to
be scared. They know you think hypervigilance makes you safe.
It doesn't. Hyper Vigilance narrows your field. Mindfulness makes you safe.
In mindfulness, when you're addressing what's going on, you are
taking into consideration the future, even if you're not doing
(31:52):
it consciously. You are reframing the past so that it
serves you because by the way your past, your memory
is very inaccurate. So much easier to accurately predict someone's
future than to accurately get agreement on what happened in their.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Past, because it is so true.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Yeah, past is subjective. And if you know, back when
I had living siblings, if you were to ask us
all about the same day, we would all have a
completely different memory and think the other was wrong.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
And you mentioned this in your book.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Y'all all went about it a different way of dealing
with your past, Like you all internalize it differently and
had different response mechanisms to surviving it, and you turned
into intuition and like channeling it. It sounds like from
your book, whereas some of your other siblings weren't able
to turn it into a positive thing.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Well, I mean, I would abuse is never positive, right, right, right,
But we do. You know, having a trauma at fifteen
is different than having a trauma at four, because totally
age of seven, you don't have an eye. When you
say I, there is no eye. Really you're building that eye,
(33:04):
and by by around to age six or seven that
I is built and then it's all revision. So you
know it really, when you're traumatized early in life, it
really does kind of limit what you can build. And
what was very fortunate for me were many things. And
(33:27):
I do cover this in the book because I have
two siblings who've suicided and one who doesn't function and
and or you know, I would say doesn't function, and
and it you know, having a brain that wasn't structure
for memory, that's for sure. I mean I could literally
(33:49):
walk into a wall. One of the most scary things
in school was when I had to change classes, was
I never remembered where the next class was, so if
I could fine, because you know, add also makes you disorganize.
If I couldn't find the chart that says you're in
room two O four, I had no idea, even after
an entire school year, where I was going. But it
(34:12):
did allow me to get instant ability, like a prosthetic exoskeleton,
kind of an instant thing about this is how, you know,
to allow myself to function. You know those machines that
allow people with paralysis to move. That's what intuition did
for me. So it didn't become a part of me.
(34:34):
It didn't heal me, but it came through me and protected.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Me and showed you the way right.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Well, it took over the way absolutely, and it was
it was just enormously protective. And it really became conscious
when I realized that this was something that was given
to me that maybe wasn't given to my sister or
(35:01):
my brother, or my other sister, or my mother or
the many other family members who have committed suicide, that
this was, that this was something that was a fluke
of my ability to use the mechanics of having a
structure that works without actually having that structure myself. And
(35:27):
I use this. I mean I always have a copy
with me. I use this. And I really liked the book,
not the audio, not the digital of the book.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
I love the book too. I love to hold it
and to be able to slip back.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
It's also helpful because the way you look at it,
it gives you. It really gives you some choices in
a way that if it's removed, it doesn't because we
are trauma. You know, not having an ego is not
being powerfully in yourself enough to create in your life.
(36:04):
You know, being in a damaged self and creating damaged realities.
Either you create great things that lack foundations, or you
can't create things at all because you have a paucity
of resources that you were exposed to. There's so many
different ways that damage in those first years affect us.
But you don't have to understand it, and by the
(36:26):
way you understand it by looking at what's not working
in your life. So you know, I didn't have to
understand I didn't understand that I was put in the
position of protecting my mother and always having to be
in battle in the world until I noticed that I
was always in battle in the world. I thought, oh, well,
(36:48):
the antidote to this is to stop my natural tendency
to defend every creature on the planet. Just not get
into battles.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
So that was an awareness that you that you realized. Okay,
So when you go through this book, when you go
through it, like what do you like flips like the
First Ego Center, Like how do you use this book
on a daily basis? Because I read the whole book
and I went through all the ego centers and it's like,
it's kind of like the.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Chakras is what. I just don't want to get any
of these things wrong.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
And I'm saying the chakras, but it's not the chakras, Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
It's the same areas in your body and has.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
A lot in common. Like right now, as a group,
we're working on our first Ego Center, which is really
our foundation. Right it's great to use the colors of
the First Ego Center red, you know, yeahs use the
foods that fortify. But it is different because it really
is more about how you take that one energy we
(37:56):
share and refract it out into the world to create
your reality. Again, we're all living in a different reality
even though we also share it. So there are many
ways to use it. A quickie way is just from
the top of your head to the base of your spine.
You know, notice where you're in discomfort, and that is
(38:19):
that usually identifies, especially in the moment, what's not working
for you. So I have I notice my second ego center,
which is nourishment, creativity, abundance. Okay, just remember that I
haven't eaten today and it's two thirty in New York City.
So that may not be a deep, a deep thing,
(38:42):
but it's something that I need to attend to because
I am a human machine. But another way is, you know,
when you wake up, and often especially people who have
had challenges, they wake up and there's something. Often it's
the same feeling when you that that that really is
(39:03):
is impeding them. When you locate it and you go
to that ego center and you you practice either one
of the simple questions or one of the simple assertions,
like really you do it, not think it, not understand it,
just do it. What you find is the functioning part
clicks into place. Also when you're in an argument, noticing
(39:28):
which ego center is lit up gets your attention on
the person you're arguing with, Notice which ego center is
lit up for you? Then you know what is there? What?
What is it that is hurt in them that you
need to address? What is it you? And how can
you do that?
Speaker 3 (39:47):
That is such a good guide and a good tip.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
How many ways to use it because our bodies are maps.
Another another way is when you think of a goal,
like for example, when you think of your know, being
alone and wanting a partner, like, so that's your goal.
You know, where is it in your body? When you
again let your attention move down, where do you feel it?
(40:12):
It's not always your heart, Sometimes it's your fifth ego center,
which is about having a voice, being in conversation, and
then being able to lead a situation. And and those
three levels are you were born with the right to
have a voice once that was modeled for you and
affirmed for you very early on. You learn to be
(40:34):
in conversation. You know, you see baby before they can
even speak, babble and get a response, and then back
and forth and from that conversation, because conversation is both
heard and given you form the ability to lead, you know,
to walk and have people follow, and also to find
those teachers in your life. So if you're if when
(40:58):
you when you wake up, when you're in a party
and you're noticing, wow, I'm the only one who doesn't
have someone. If you notice where that is, you know
what it's about. And again something simple, and that simple
thing might be start up. Go, Go and start up
a conversation with someone you never would have spoken to.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
So you are getting back to it.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
You are about an action step instead of just dwelling
on the past and all of the traumas of the past.
Like I do think there's a time and a place
to address all that and to look into it.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
But you're just saying, let's just start where we are.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Let's identify where this is in our body and then
identify what root like, what the egocenter it's affecting, and
then make a decision based on that information that you
know about that ego center to move forward.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
And the other way is to notice the problem. Oh wait,
you're not you don't have enough clients, you're not making
enough money? Well is that is that? Does it make
you panic or does it make you just not feel
good about yourself? Panic is first ego center, which is
a very wealth money safety ego center, but value is
(42:10):
fourth ego center. So you notice what ego center issue is.
So if the issue is I want to raise I
want a job that pays me for doing something I like.
If that's the issue, then you go to the fourth
ego center and you do something simple and it doesn't
even have to address the immediate problem it addresses. When
(42:31):
you address that ego center, you address it everywhere because,
believe me, if you're not being paid in your job adequately,
you are not being valued in your relationship adequately. You
are not being valued in your social group adequately. You
are a system within a system. It doesn't take You
may just identify it in your job, you know, but
(42:54):
it is everywhere. Good news is when you fix it
in one place, you fix.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
It takes it in all places.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Because what do they say, how you do one thing
is how you do all things. And it's kind of
like this, how you feel in one area, it's probably.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
How you feel in all areas. That makes so it's.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
All part you act, even more than how you feel,
because I try. I also agree there's a place for feeling,
there's a place for remembering, there's a place for all
of that. But you do all of that in much
greater safety when you've solved the problem first, and you
can solve the problem first, and then in order to
(43:32):
keep it solved, all of the rest comes up. But
you're dealing with it, then you know the way to
deal with something is when you're through it. And research
shows that reliving trauma retraumatizes.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
I agree with that, I think you.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
I also, I have had actual success from like going
through the past and kind of rewiring it and letting
it go. But then it's like if you just circulate
on it over and over and over again, I agree
with you. I don't think it does and do you
think it does good to do a little bit of
reflection on it because you kind of have to identify it.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
You don't have to identify it. So I will bet
that when you reflected on the past and worked through
it and blah blah blah, the real step that made
a difference was you're letting it go totally. And you
can let something go by understanding it and et cetera,
et cetera. I think that's ineffective. I think the effective
(44:33):
way is saying, you know what, this is not helping
me get what I want? Right now, let me do
this one thing different, So let me let it go
by just like not even giving it attention, and then
the understanding comes. But the idea that you can understand
your fishbowl from inside your fishbowl, I think is a misconception.
(44:57):
Does that mean I like, I think that behavior year
old therapies are far more effective than analysis. And that's
just my opinion. I can be wrong, but you know,
I think there is a time for analysis. The time
for analysis, though, is when you've done something differently, You've
(45:18):
gotten a different result, and now you want to understand it,
and you can because the dynamic has changed. So you
have a little detect you have a little perspective, and
now you can understand it in a way that you
don't do it again.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
So what do you do for like the first EcoCenter,
it's like survival and you give a lot of prompts.
You know, it's like when you're an infant. Infant your
demands were met and your structures are in place to
sure you safety and health, and you give like positive
prompts and then negative prompts like you know, those.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
Those are those are more kind of this is how
this is what would have been would be healthy. This
what isn't healthy. But the real important one at the
first ego center are the questions, the assertions and the questions,
because what you do is you pick the question or
the assertion that you don't resonate with, because if you
(46:12):
resonate with it, it's going to keep old you in.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
Place, okay, so that you don't resonate with right.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
So for example, I know this sounds a little pathetic,
but today or yesterday, I picked, since we just started,
I'm irreplaceable, and I realized I really don't believe that,
and which is funny because I definitely do feel like
I'm being I'm made special in my life, but I think,
actually I'm really replaceable. I thought, wow, I have to
(46:37):
live this. And so what I did was I started noticing,
started starting yesterday, all the ways that I am irreplaceable
in my environment, to my friends, to my clients. And
it also made me a little kinder in my interaction
(47:00):
actions with them because in realizing that I'm irreplaceable, I
also realized that there's a certain amount of dependence that
I need to be a little more conscious and kind
about show up for a little more. So pick you
pick one and I'll probably do that for one more
(47:21):
day and then at the First Ego Center, I'll pick
something else. Now, we also work because each ego center
has a build so together, and the reason we do
it together is when you do something in a group,
it is exponentially more powerful. So it's not that people
aren't working with whatever ego center they need to work
on to to get their whatever their goals are, but
(47:45):
they're also working as a group on this foundation. So
the what we decided as a group, or what I
decided for the group that we would work on, was order.
So the place of joy at the First Ego Center
is order. And that doesn't sound very yummy, but when
everything's in order, you don't have to think about it.
(48:07):
I mean your clothes and order, your social life and order,
your finances in order. Your house is in order, or
your bath products are in order, your shoes are in order.
It's like you feel safe, but also everything's easy. Yes,
you know, everything is there. Like then all you have
to do is learn more things and build and play
(48:31):
and use your power, which is the gift of the
First Ego Center. Use your your you know, be in
your power and keep growing all the opportunities it attracts.
But order is necessary for that because otherwise you're reinventing
the wheel over and over again. I mean, if in
(48:52):
school I had not lost the card that showed me
where all my classes were, my day wouldn't have been
filled with terror between every class trying to figure out
where I was supposed to go. So, you know, that
is really so we do that on Instagram. We do
it as a group.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Oh that's awesome, Yeah, we do.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
I go on you know, in the morning, I put
on lipstick and go on Instagram with my coffee and
morning I My husband's a TV and screenwriter, so and
I also work all over the world, so morning wherever
I am because he's an insomniac, so I always have
a few free hours in the morning. Not always morning
for everybody. But the each ego center also has a
(49:36):
very organic intuitive ability and a very organic ability as
a human being, and ego ability. Presence is the ego
ability at the first ego center, because your foundation is
your presence. You know, it literally is in a home
where you anchor something to the earth. You know, where
(49:58):
you build that struck support from which everything else can grow.
And of course the intuitive gift is often the opposite
of the physical gift. And so if for example, you
don't like your home, one thing you want to do
(50:19):
is rain in that intuition. And the intuitive gift at
the first ECO Center is remote viewing, which is having
your attention in a location that's not physically present for you,
or astral projection, where you really are physically present at
that location, but you know when you're somewhere else, your
power isn't here and here is where you know, this
(50:42):
point in space time is where you can make change.
We don't love it because it means we have to
get off our butts and do it. But the here
and now is where you can create change. And one
of the things I will say in almost fifty years
of teaching people from all walks of life, I mean,
will go on my website, they see the celebrities, they
see the companies, they see the glam. But you know,
(51:07):
I've taught in shelters. You know I've taught in crisis areas.
I've taught in schools with bullying problem. I mean, you know,
one of the things that I absolutely know because I
don't use believe. Believe means there are no facts behind
it that you can rely on. One thing I have
(51:28):
seen is it doesn't matter where you are right now.
It really doesn't. There are some people who are huge
names who have disasters and disastrous lives. What matters is
what you do with it. And a miracle takes a moment,
and it can be this moment, but you can't magricalize
a miracle starts with saying, wow, this sucks right now.
(51:52):
This is where I am right now. I'm not financially secure,
I don't have a partner, I'm you know, I don't
think I look very good and blah blah blah, you know,
just like and then verifying your data and then doing
something with it, and the first ego center the base
of your spine, your foundation. One of the things it
(52:16):
does with autonomy. You know, hopefully you had that feeling
of welcome and safety. If not, you have to give
it to yourself as an adult. But then the next
step in autonomy is competence because the ability to get
the tools. We all have that, and you know, there
is no man or woman who is an island. We
(52:37):
need each other. And I realized, you know, I have
a situation right now that I've been waiting for a
professional to finish. They're not doing it. I realized, I'm
not competent in this area. This professional is not exercising
his competency. I made a call and said, gee, I
think I'm going to need you to start taking this
(53:00):
over to a friend of mine. Do you have someone
who can help? He said, sure, absolutely, no problem. You know,
so being competent is also connecting with the resources, the teachers,
the learning, the you know, the help that we need
to succeed. It's not you know, we don't. We don't
(53:22):
blossom into everything. Some believe that happens when we're dead.
You know that we become one with everything, but right
now to an individual in an interconnected world, and it
is there for you. And if you don't know, it's
there for you, this is the work for you. Because
it's important to know that.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
What is your hope with this book?
Speaker 2 (53:56):
When people read this and they read through all the
seven steps, what is your hope that they will walk away.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
With I don't even think they need to read through
the seven steps. I hope they go to whatever area
of their life needs fixing. They fix it and they
you know, they're taken out of pain and into their
own power. You know, I think it's I think we
(54:22):
have there are a lot of modalities that help us
tolerate more pain. I find it very suspect. I don't
want to exercise or meditate or medicate my pain away.
I mean, I want to do that too, until I've
done something else. But but I, you know, being able
(54:42):
to manage pain kind of skips over the important thing,
which is, why don't we just fix it? And it
is fixable, it's it's you know. One of my big
inspirations was a young girl named Ellison who died recently
at the age of forty something. And I met her
(55:05):
when she was I forget it was nine or eleven,
first day of middle school. She had been hit by
a car crossing a highway and went from being a
dancer and a student and all these things to being
a quadriplegic on a respirator. Couldn't move anything, including her lungs.
She could only speak through a special device because you
need your breath to speak. And you know, there was
(55:28):
a power bank because if the power went out, the
respirator stopped. This young girl graduated from Harvard, got a
PhD from Stonybrook, was a professor, wrote two books, had
an amazing, amazing, amazing life, we have to find the
(55:50):
can do in our lives, and was surrounded by love,
you know, And I'm sure that doesn't I'm sure that
doesn't mean that she didn't look at her nieces and
nephews and maybe wish that she could have had nieces
and nephews. But I'll bet you that those parents wish
(56:10):
that they had a PhD in public service. I mean,
you know, there's always going to be something we're not.
We are always work in progress. And I know when
this is working, and when my three goals are coming together,
when I completely forget about them and start obsessing about
(56:31):
something else, that's.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
Wrong, Ash Laura, this is like such a wealth of knowledge,
and like Deepak Chopra is in the front, like giving
you praise for it, like you are with the great
minds of our generation sharing your wisdom. It is so
incredible to get to peek inside of your mind. When
(56:53):
you meet people, do you see them as a like
can you see their whole Do you see them as
a person or do you see everything about them right away?
Speaker 3 (57:01):
Like would you meet me? Can you see my whole existence?
Speaker 1 (57:04):
No? Absolutely not I mean, I usually don't see things
about people unless I'm like bored and distracted, and then
I go into their lives or they ask me a question,
and then my intuition is trained. Because I didn't come
to intuition through spirituality. I came through it by being
tested so in the early eighties. So when someone gives
(57:28):
me a target, then I get a wealth of information
and I report it because I don't remember it. But
I certainly don't I would say on a certain level.
Unless even though I am always intuitive, I always laugh
at people who need to get into their intuitive state.
You know, they need their crystal and their breathing and
their hands a certain way and quiet and their special chair,
and like, that's not how intuition works. You know, soldiers
(57:51):
are our great intuitives. Er doctors and nurses are our
great intuitives, especially the nurses. You know, people are doing triage.
Those are our into not the zen monks. And my
intuition is functioning all the time. But if I noticed
all the information, I would be psychotic and not psychic.
So it only gets caught in the net if it's
(58:15):
something that I need to share or something that I
need to know interesting this is a dense book. You
don't have to you don't have to open the cover
and understand it and do it. There's a chart you
can look at what it is that the problem is,
or that the goal is. Go to that chapter and
do one simple suggestion and then have it proven to
(58:37):
you by the changes in your life. You know.
Speaker 3 (58:40):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (58:41):
I love that you're saying that we don't have to
just like go into the weeds of our whole existence
and like figure it all out and do all the grieving,
which I mean all that, Like I said, I have
done all of that stuff and it has been I'm
not upset that I've done that work.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
But I love that you are.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Saying we can just start now and let's fix the
issue instead of having to just dwell on the past
over and over and over again.
Speaker 3 (59:07):
And there's quick results if you follow these steps.
Speaker 1 (59:10):
And what's really I mean, I love therapy, And what's
really interesting for me about therapy is the importance of witness,
you know, going to a place where all the stuff
that's confused inside of you speak outside of you and
there's someone there to connect with it, to witness it.
(59:31):
Same thing I really love about writing I mean, originally,
I think as a writing it was a way of
nourishing myself because it was it was witness, It came
out of me, and I could look at this and say,
oh wait, even though maybe no one in third grade
wants to be friends with this person, I want to
(59:52):
be friends with this person. This is an interesting person.
I mean, I remember when I had my first opposition
book just for my own use, and a number two
pencil and a pencil sharpener, and when I could make words,
And what an amazing gift that outlet was, you know,
(01:00:14):
finding your creative outlet, which is second ego center, which
is nourishment, creativity, and abundance. You know, finding that creative outlet,
whether it's cooking or joining every anyone who's singing on
the street, or you know, whatever it is. But that way,
that vehicle for expression, is such a wonderful thing. So
(01:00:35):
I'm not I'm certainly not against analyzing. I'm not against therapy.
I'm not against feeling, but I find that often people
use it as a way not to move forward, and
getting exactly what you want often solves the internal conflict.
(01:00:56):
I mean, I am, excuse me, I am I guess
I wish I had had a different childhood. It was
so long ago, you know, but I wouldn't want a
different adulthood.
Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
And they're little, they're little vestiges of it that I
continue to work with. So I do wake up every
morning and my first response is terror because that was
my response all through my childhood. And my second response
is realizing I'm not there anymore. Do I wish I
just woke up and calm. That would probably be nice,
(01:01:32):
But I also don't want to be other than I
am now. And when I do want to be other,
I use the prism, I use the circle, and I
change it.
Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
I love that. That is amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Thank you so much for sharing all this with me.
I always wrap up with one question, which is leave
your light, and it's what do you want people to know?
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Just drop some inspiration.
Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
You are irreplaceable and really, I know this makes me
look and sound like a psychic and a healer, but
for a moment, really take the hand of the person
who got you imperfectly as they may have where you
are right now, because there's a lot going on in
you and the world, but you got you here, and
(01:02:16):
if you can honor that bond between you and you
and really be a good friend to you, you know,
which doesn't mean you know, you don't make amends for
things and you don't work on the bumps. We've all
got them. But if you can really just be a
good friend to you, you've got it down.
Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
I love that so much. Thank you so much for
joining me.
Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Thank you for writing this book, The Prism, and I
just can't recommend everyone enough to go get it and
just check in on yourself and see where you are
and do a little audit. And this is such a great,
just easy to understand book. You make it so easy
to read, and it's like you said, you can refer
back to it all the time. You're still referring back
(01:02:58):
to it, and you wrote the book and it's amazing.
So thank you so much for your time, Laura. I
appreciate it. Where can everyone find you?
Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Laura Day into it on Instagram. I just there's no schedule.
I just pop on whenever I can. I often post
it in stories Lauraday dot com. Please sign up for
the newsletter because I do a lot of town halls
for the events, Reading Exchanges, boot Camp, which is my training.
I also post interviews where you can really. You know
(01:03:28):
sometimes I learn more about my work from an interview
than I do from just being me. Yeah, you know that.
They're very enlightening for me. So those are those and
I do where whenever I come to a city, I
try to do a free workshop, either at a soho
house or a bookstore. So if you want me to
come to a city you're a city, please And I
(01:03:50):
always do a class. I don't do a reading. You
can read the book. I don't need to read it
to you. I do a class I do. I do
a mini workshop. I get you all reading, all doing healing,
all making changes, all working in community. So I love
to do that because it is really about connecting with
one another.
Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
I love that so much. Thank you so much for
joining me, Laura. You're amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
And is this book?
Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
Is it out or when is it coming out?
Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
Yes, this is out. I really recommend you get the
hard copy. I know everyone's audio and digital. Get the
hard copy out. You can find it anywhere. I so
appreciate when you write reviews, and I am on my website.
I'm the only one who looks at your questions, so
make them short. I always answer them. So if you
don't get an answer. I mean, this is my what's work,
(01:04:39):
so I'm interested in what it's doing for you. But
if you don't get an answer, it means my computer
'te your email and go offline and you can ask
me your question.
Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
I love it so much. Thank you so much, Lardie,
You're amazing.
Carl Lamb. She's a queen and talking song.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
She's getting not afraid to feed the episode, so just
let it flow. No one can do wequired, like carylne
is sounding, Caroline, I am very excited to be here
with Laura Day.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
You are such a special person. Laura Day. You have
written how.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Many books now this is my seventh.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
And many of them have been best sellers, one worst sellers. Hey,
you know you got to write them all though, right.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No risk, no reward, no lotus. Right.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Amen to that.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You have your new book out, The Prism, which I
us read and absolutely loved. And I also watched your
interview that you did with Oprah on this new book,
The Prism, and Demmy Moore was a guest on that interview,
and I was just I'm so blown away by your
story because I feel like you really let.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Us in to your story on this book.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
As well as like a seven Steps to Heal your
past and transform your future, Like you literally are giving
people a toolbook on how to identify the roadblocks in
your life and how to transform them, and you let
you help people understand their tragedies too, because you come
(01:41):
from such a traumatic upbringing. But do you feel like
that is what has caused you to have all your gifts.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well, no, I mean I think if you survive, I
also have you know, a mother and two siblings who suicided.
I think if you if you survive, you use what
you have. And you know, I was lucky enough to
be given the prism intuitively, really early in life, which
is why I wanted to put it down for everyone else. No,
(02:12):
ideally you have a wonderful childhood and incredible role models,
and your ego forms in a way that you easily
create what you want in your life and bounce back
from frustrations. But for most, or I want to say most,
let me be let me have some wishful thinking here.
For many people that is not the case, and it
(02:36):
is you know, I think we're taught to feel like
something's wrong with us, and it's really not. We just
don't have If you don't if you don't have the
user's manual, it's very hard to use the tool.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
So I kind of just want to talk a little
bit about your upbringing because I well, when I heard
you talking about on Oprah, I was blown away. And
then I was reading it in the book and I
was like oh my gosh, this is in the book.
You share this like you should go so deep with this,
which I am so grateful that you are so vulnerable
with your story. But you grew up in with two
very extreme parent personality types, or we can.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Really just call them what they were, you know, very
very disturbed. Some people should not, you know, should not
have children.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So you're and your parents like when they it felt
kind of like your dad sort of like swooped your
mom away and kind of married her quickly, like she.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Well, actually, you know where. So the way the prison
is structured is you take your original structure and you
now that you're an adult, you can restructure yourself with simple,
simple changes. And we are working right now on what
we call the first ego center. What was what's your
foundation story? Mine was my mother was bipolar one. During
(03:54):
a manic episode, my father eloped with her and got
her prey within the first couple weeks, So I first
three months had a bath of in uterothorozine, and then
you know, one thing led to another. I mean, it's
not that he was a doctor. It's not that she
couldn't have had an abortion, and she said she seriously
(04:16):
considered it, but she didn't. And I was there to
trap my mother. That was my That is my origin story.
I was. I was there to anchor my mother in
a marriage that she did during a manic phase. Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So she really never was aware consciously wanting to get
married or have a kid.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
It just sort of happened to you.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
She didn't want to have My mother was a borderline
and a manic depressor, and she did not want to
I think she had no intentions of doing either. But
you know, mania is psychosis. My father was a doctor,
took advantage of it, married her, you know, married her
right away. And you know, I mean my origin story
(05:08):
is she said, you know, she thought about aborting me,
but that when she helped me in her arms, she
was so glad she didn't. And you know, kind of
even that is such an odd thing. I mean, no,
I didn't want you, but you were so fabulous that
I had to keep you. But the message is also
(05:31):
keeping fabulous. And you know, it's funny that you say
how vulnerable I was to write the story in on Oprah.
I have to say that when you write something and this.
Some of my books are written books, some of them
are what I call channel books. Two of them are
channel books, which means they really came through me without
necessarily being a part of me. One is The Circle,
(05:54):
which I still practice in my own life, and then
the Prison, which I also practice in my own life.
And when Oprah I don't know if you can see
this on camera, but when she brought up my history,
which was the first interview where that happened, I was like,
did I really write that? But I was like, oh, wow,
I'm not sure I really want to talk about this.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah, because you have a very long relationship with Oprah,
because you immediately somehow you met up with Demi Moore,
Demi Moore right away.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Thirty odd thirty three years ago or thirty two years ago.
That was to me. I didn't have a TV, so
I didn't know what Oprah was. And she swooped in
and said, you've got to come with me to Chicago.
You've got to do this. And I'm like, there's no
(06:46):
way now I'm getting on a plane, and she is, yes,
you are, and anyone who knows to me that is
one bossy girl. And so she put she literally put
me on a plane, promised me I'd be back by
the time my son got home from school. I wasn't
and and took me to Oprah, you know, had my
makeup done on the plane, and took me to Oprah.
(07:09):
And that was really an Oprah to me, made that
practical intuition, my first book a bestseller, and it was
really a coming home to be back on Oprah and
to have to me. Dem did not tell me she
was coming on until the night before, and I'm so
(07:29):
glad she told me, because I hate surprise. There's even
good ones, but she did. She just kind of popped
on and then she and Oprah got very spiritual. I'm
much more pragmatic. I'm much more you know, life is
hard enough with all the without like the bells and
whistles and the green juices and the mantras. You know,
(07:50):
I want I personally am very much on the side
of do something tiny different. Please don't add something to
my already over full plate. Please don't make me feel
any more incompetent than I already feel doing everything. Every day.
You know, you walk out, you get a run in
(08:11):
your tights, you think, oh really, may you know it's
life is full of stuff, and I'm I think it's
wonderful to take time if you can, to delve deep
into all of the mysteries, but especially the prism is about.
(08:31):
This is not another thing you have to practice twenty
minutes a day. You know. This is something where you
make a small change and the world meets you, not
a change inside yourself. Because I really I feel like
it is again kind of annihilating to say, use your
broken tool to fix your broken system. You know there
(08:54):
is we are and this is not very popular, but
we are mechanical, magnificent ones. I mean, if you look
at the human circulatory system, you think, wow, you know,
whoever created this is genius. But we are systems within
a system you know that has rules within a system
(09:14):
within a solar system within a bigger system, and a
bigger system, which means that one domino down changes everything
because we're interrelated. So why make it so overwhelming? And
I think that that's I just I got really tired
of seeing because I answer all my own emails because
people just say such personal things. I got really tired
(09:37):
of people saying, well, I'm doing this and I'm paying
for this and I'm practicing this, but I'm clearly not
doing it well enough. I'm like, no, a system is
supposed to work for you. It's not about your doing
better that It was really disempowering to people, all of
these complicated, convoluted practices, and then the response when they
(09:58):
didn't work was as well, you know, you didn't believe enough.
I mean, if you need to believe, then belief works,
the tool doesn't. So this was really my response and
it came very powerfully. You know, when there were after
I saw a lot of losses in my environment.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
So I kind of want to go back to the
beginning of your rigin story because, like you said, that's
in the prism, that's this first how do you first
step right is identifying your origin story.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Well, no, in the prison, I will go back to
my origin story about my favorite topic. But I will
go back there. But like in meditations when people go
go back to a time in your childhood, I'm like,
there is no way I'm going back there. But the
prism is not about going back. The prison is about
being right here, right now, knowing what your three goals
(10:50):
are and doing something different and allowing yourself to encounter
the achieving what you want as a way to changing
yourself instead of continually beating yourself up. But my origin
story was I was born to a violent, abusive, narcissistic
doctor who got a manic, depressive, borderline girl woman pregnant
(11:19):
and then got her pregnant every year. And so I
had at five, I had three younger siblings. We lived
in a separate apartment from our parents.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
That's what I cannot wrap my head around.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Without an adult. So my baby sister of blessed memory
was probably like stabbed with those ducky pins. This is
before disposable diapers, you know where you had those little
safety ducky pins where you'd put a cloth diaper on
and then put rubber pants on. And I would get
on a step stool and put her on the changing table,
and you know, I was five years old. We had
(11:56):
to go out into a public hallway and ring the
doorbell or bad because we weren't tall enough at five
to ring to get into our parents' apartment.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And how did I just like, I have only one daughter,
and I remember how petrified I was taking care of her,
that like I was going to do something wrong, because.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
They're so fragile when they're little, like the baby.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
What I heard is that they're pretty indestructible babies. They're
not easy. They're not that easy to kill.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
So but like sleeping and like you were in charge
of like the naps and the bed time.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
No no, no, no, no no. Mostly it was at night
that we were alone. There were days also that we
were alone, but mostly it was you know, from eight
to night to eight in the morning or seven at
night to seven in the morning. So I did know
how to heat up a bottle or change a diaper
or you know, I didn't change a sheet. I would
(12:51):
just put a child back in a wet bed. But
but you know, it was, it was. It was chaotic,
and I think it wasn't identified as chaotic because my
parents were affluent. I mean, my father was a doctor
at New York Hospital Cornell. My mother came from you know,
(13:12):
she graduated from Sarah Lawrence. Her mother graduated from Vassar.
I mean, you know, things like this. I actually went
quite a few times to the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children when I was probably about twelve
and thirteen, and it was on my way home from school,
was at the bus stop on Seventh Avenue and fourteenth Street.
(13:34):
I'm sorry, Seventh Avenue twenty third Street, and I would
tell them and they would I don't know if they
ever did anything. If they did, my father certainly never
mentioned it, and we were never taken out of the situation,
but it you know, people, people just didn't interfere, especially
(13:57):
in those days in you know, know, well off white families.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, just like here note egle will see no evil,
just like brushed onder the rug, pret like it's not happening.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I mean, now, if there was a file like that
in a organization, I think there'd be some real trouble,
but not back then. So you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Started telepathically communicating with your mother though, Is that when
you started realizing you had these gifts?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
No, because as a child, you and I think everybody
listening can identify with the fact that as a child,
the things you think are weird are not weird, you know,
I don't know, like the fact that you're you're a
stick out. But the things that really are weird you
think are completely normal because they are parts of your
(14:50):
daily life. So telepathy and kind of having a sense
of what was going to happen, and being able to
view someplace that I'd never been and I didn't have
any awareness that other people didn't experience that. And also
when you are in a home that is dysfunctional, I
(15:14):
think that even though you're not even aware it is dysfunctional,
this is just your home and your family. There's a
certain degree of secrecy that is just ingrained in you.
It's not even that you keep a secret, it's that
you'd never even think to express it. And there's one
point I think I put it in the book. I
never remember what I put in. Where where my mother
(15:37):
my grandmother had slept. My parents had separated, my grandmother.
I was the only child home. The other kids were
at camp, and my grandmother had slept in the apartment
with me, and neither of us had keys to the
adult the grown ups apartment is what we called it.
And she was in for a week or two, I guess,
trying to support my mother. And I knew my mother
(15:59):
was I knew she'd taken an overdose, and I'd been
banging on the wall trying to get her attention, but
I didn't have a key, and so I dialed. I
picked up the phonat to dial the police, to dial
nine to one one, which was not the first time
I'd done that, and she said, don't do that. The
neighbors will know. And you know, I didn't even realize
(16:20):
I knew this. But I looked at you, I said, grandmother,
neighbors know. I mean, the police had been called multiple times,
but it wasn't conscious in me that this was something different,
and the neighbors knew. And you know, again, in this
day and age, especially in the socioeconomic group I grew
up in, maybe somebody would have reported, you know. I
(16:45):
mean sometimes we get locked out of the apartment and
we'd be sitting outside the door in a public hallway
and our panties and tisha. I mean, someone might have
reported it. But back then I people just people didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You said that your intuition is what saved your life,
and you kind of I feel like, is that what
you're wanting people to understand about themselves is that they
have the same power to tap into their intuition.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Not only do they have, yes, but not just intuition.
You know, people have so many things to save their lives,
you know, connection to one another. I mean, whenever I
don't take a moment to go that extra mile for
somebody when I can easily do it, I think, oh wait,
(17:46):
I might be the only one doing this because so
many people went the extra mile for me, whether they
were teachers or neighbors or a policeman in the area.
It's it really, Yes, into tuition saved me. Your intellect
can save you, your community, your connections, your sunny personality,
(18:11):
so many different things, but we all do have something.
What the prism is is if your structure, if your eye,
if your ego was formed in a way that you
don't have receptors for wealth, or for love, or for ease,
or for health or for happiness, here is how a
(18:33):
healthy part would have formed. But you don't even have
to read that. All you have to do is go
to the chapter that has what you're missing in it
and do one small thing. I mean, on some level,
I wrote this book. I'm sixty six years old, and
I wrote this book very comprehensively in a way that
(18:53):
I really it's the first time I've written such a
comprehensive book because I thought, you know what, teachers can
use this, therapist can use this intuitive teachers, healing teachers,
medical students, and I really wanted to put in all
of the information, really make it a textbook. However, if
(19:13):
the reader who just wants to fix their external life.
This isn't about fixing you. You don't need fixing. It's
about fixing your world. Your new opportunities will fix you.
You know, you fall in love. I was not ready
for love when I fell in love, even though it
was one of my goals. But my husband showed up.
(19:34):
My now husband showed up and said, listen, I'm not
going to stalk you, but I'm not going to go away.
He was as good as his word. He wasn't my type.
He had no deep seated rage, he was employed, he
got along with his family, he had no character disorder.
He was completely boring to me. But that one of
my goals was to be in relationship and you know,
(20:00):
in a good relationship. And he didn't disappear. And one day,
because he was so constantly wonderful and there coming up
against me and you know, kind of challenging my fallacies
and adoring me. And he's also really hot, which helped.
One day I was like, oh wow, like this is
(20:21):
the most amazing part of you know, my reality, other
than my son, who's always the most amazing part. Like
it took me, I would say it took me a
year and a half to two years of having exactly
what I wanted to accept, to have a receptor that
could accept a relationship that wasn't full of drama and trauma.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
And do you take that back to the prism.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
You worked these steps in the prism to get to
that place where you could actually accept a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I actually take it back to the Circle, which is
the precursor to the prism.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
So they kind of go together.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yes, the circle is the broad brush. The Prism has
really the detailed things.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Because what I realized was that with the Circle, where
you really have a goal and it takes you through elements,
was that people really wanted to know what we're taught
to intellectualize.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
They wanted to know what they were doing, and they
want very specific instructions. You know, not deal with outer
roadblocks in your life, but say yes to everything safe
for three days. Like they wanted very specific prescriptions. And
I serve my students, I mean that is my goal
(21:41):
is to is to serve the my students, serve the people,
my readers, serve, you know, serve humanity in some way.
Because I have been also so wonderfully served myself by
by others just by having me on the show again
for this new book. You know, I mean so that
(22:06):
you know I totally lost my trainer thought, I'm not
even going to fake it.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Oh, same with me.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
We're talking about, though, how the circle and the prism
go together, and how you have worked these steps continuously,
and that is how you're able to accept a healthy
relationship when there was no trauma or drama in it,
not accept.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I didn't accept first it came so it.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Was a match.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
So you were a match for it because you attracted it.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Well, I don't know at the time. I wasn't a match.
My poor, poor husband, my poor long suffering husband. But
it made me you know what the prism is? People say,
how is this different from self? All the other self help?
Most self help says, look deeply in yourself, look deeply
at your history. Do healing make profound changes. Mine says,
(22:51):
we're a different colored shirt and go out somewhere like
very simple. And what happens is so my prison and
change was that I just stopped. Even though I really
wanted to feel loved and wanted I'd been in a
really bad situation. I did not date anyone who asked
(23:16):
me out or anyone I met who I liked. I
asked two people. I thought. The one place my intuition
is being completely overrun by my patterns is my choice
of men, not my choice of friends. I have amazing friends,
but my choice of partners I actually have best. My
(23:37):
best male friend is over thirty years. Was a great
choice too, But once it got family romantic, I would
choose my parents. So I asked my two dearest friends,
who had long marriages to good men, to pick me
people to date, all of whom were just smotheringly boring
(24:00):
as much, but they weren't. They were amazing, you know, intelligent, warm, normal,
successful people. I just had no receptors open to that.
But ultimately I put one foot in front of the
other and I stuck to the discipline that I had chosen,
(24:20):
which is really you know, also, what the prism is
your patterns. What resonates with you is part of your
sick part. You want something new, You've got to do
something new, not think something new. You've got to do
something new because think can trick you. So that was
the new thing I did, and ultimately my students call him.
(24:40):
It's been fourteen years. I swow I never get married.
I've been married for eleven My students call him delicious Stephen.
And you know, because of trauma. When I wake up
in the morning, every morning, I wake up, make sure
he's still breathing, and then I think, just whatever, I
think my own prism, thank the people around me. I think,
(25:02):
you know, intuition, I just I'm so grateful that I
have this in my life.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
So you say intuition comes in the same portal that
other things come in, is it memories and thoughts? Like
there's like it comes into. It can be confused. Your
intuition can get confused.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
So your your intuition comes through the same five senses
you know everyone's waiting for, like a unicorn with a
sign on it. It comes in through the same five senses.
You get all the other information, but it also includes
the gestalt of those senses, which are memories, which are thoughts.
But the problem with and I can't read myself very well.
(25:44):
I mean, every once in a while get hit over
the head with something, But most of the time I'm
as subjective as anyone.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
I fear my fears, I hope my wishes. Depending on
my blood sugar level, I'm either predicting through my fears
yours or predicting through my wishes. But luckily I train.
I have something called boot camp where I train intuitives
because I really only take four clients at a time,
So so I train intuitives, and so thankfully they they
(26:17):
are removed from me. They have perspective enough and their
balls enough to just tell it to me straight, predict
for me straight. You know, experience when I'm kidding myself,
and some of it's real unpleasant. I got to tell you.
You know, if you walk out of a reading feeling
like you're doing everything right and yet not everything is
(26:38):
going right in your life, it's probably not a very
good reading.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So do you do readings often for people? Is that it?
Could it come to you easily? Or is it hard
for you to get a reading for someone?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
That is my only state. I'm not really great at
a dinner party because I just don't even remember the
culture or the politics. But if you want to talk
about you know, your life, your past, your future, and
you want me to look for you, that I can do,
but I don't take I work. My day job is
(27:12):
I work for four large companies predicting the future. I
also teach, and I love to teach. I love to lecture,
and when I teach in lecture, I tend to also read,
but not in a formal reading sense. It's just if
people are reading, I read their readings for accuracy, so
I reread. I mean iat on Instagram lives, you know,
(27:35):
I'll see a reading that just doesn't quite make sense.
I'm like, you know, you might want to redo that,
or my especially my students. Because I do train. I
train intuitives for both business. I train therapists and intuition.
I train physicians and intuition because an intuitive shouldn't be
your therapist. Your therapist is trained to be your therapist,
shouldn't be your doctor, shouldn't be your investment counselor. But
(27:59):
you certainly want these people to have intuitive skills because
it gives them an edge to be able to address
your needs. And of course, the real magic, if you will,
of intuition is intuition's ability to accurately predict the future.
And again, you can't do that for yourself. I mean,
if you are worried you're going to die in a
(28:21):
fiery crash, and you've had that worry for years, I
guarantee that it's not how you're going to go. You know,
that's your that's your neurosis. Intuition is accurate, actionable, and immediate.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Okay, So how do you know when it's your intuition
speaking and not like a memory or a thought or
one of the other You don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
What you do do is you you integrate intuition in
your normal functioning by having goals. You document the intuitions
that come to you that other people have for you.
So what do I mean by intuitions? They could be thoughts,
they could be neuros, but those out of the blue,
(29:02):
very detailed. You know. Intuition isn't you need love? Wear
more blue?
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Intuition is hmm, an initial b a cow rancher, shrimp table,
big love, and means nothing until you're at the party
three days later at the shrimp.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
Table you think, oh, how nice they have a shrimp table,
and some rancher named Bobby comes up to you and
you look at them twice because you have documented, because
remember memory, your mind's a messy place, and memory.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Is inaccurate, you know. But part of the intuitive training
is learning to document. Now in the prism, how we
use intuition and it is really by first of all,
picking an action that doesn't resonate with us if it
resonates to an old deal, a safe action, doing it repetitively,
(29:57):
but then noticing what's new, and again documenting it. And
what you'll find is before you even understand the prediction,
you've already created what will happen. Because the real danger
with prediction, and the thing I'm very very hard on
my students about, is a good prediction if it doesn't
(30:19):
predict something someone wants, should be followed by predictions that
can be verified over the passage of time with how
to change it, you know, if you can't.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
So you're trying to say, no prediction is ever set
in stone. If you get a prediction that you don't like,
you can change it.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Most of the time. I mean, you know, there are
definite things if someone predicts. I mean, you know, I
want to find something not awful, because you know, people
use intuition to scare themselves, and they should be using
it to make their lives more what they want, to
make things easier, to make better choices, so they get
(31:01):
into less trouble, so they waste less energy, cleaning up
messes that they habitually create over and over, which is
why I wrote the prism. You will create the same
mess in different ways, in different situations, and one small
change keeps you from doing that. But if someone if
someone predicts that, if someone predicts something that's already there,
(31:29):
that you will see. I don't want to do something
that scares people because people people are just looking to
be scared. They know you think hypervigilance makes you safe.
It doesn't. Hyper Vigilance narrows your field. Mindfulness makes you safe.
In mindfulness, when you're addressing what's going on, you are
taking into consideration the future, even if you're not doing
(31:52):
it consciously. You are reframing the past so that it
serves you because by the way your past, your memory
is very inaccurate. So much easier to accurately predict someone's
future than to accurately get agreement on what happened in their.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Past, because it is so true.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Yeah, past is subjective. And if you know, back when
I had living siblings, if you were to ask us
all about the same day, we would all have a
completely different memory and think the other was wrong.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
And you mentioned this in your book.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Y'all all went about it a different way of dealing
with your past, Like you all internalize it differently and
had different response mechanisms to surviving it, and you turned
into intuition and like channeling it. It sounds like from
your book, whereas some of your other siblings weren't able
to turn it into a positive thing.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Well, I mean, I would abuse is never positive, right, right, right,
But we do. You know, having a trauma at fifteen
is different than having a trauma at four, because totally
age of seven, you don't have an eye. When you
say I, there is no eye. Really you're building that eye,
(33:04):
and by by around to age six or seven that
I is built and then it's all revision. So you
know it really, when you're traumatized early in life, it
really does kind of limit what you can build. And
what was very fortunate for me were many things. And
(33:27):
I do cover this in the book because I have
two siblings who've suicided and one who doesn't function and
and or you know, I would say doesn't function, and
and it you know, having a brain that wasn't structure
for memory, that's for sure. I mean I could literally
(33:49):
walk into a wall. One of the most scary things
in school was when I had to change classes, was
I never remembered where the next class was, so if
I could fine, because you know, add also makes you disorganize.
If I couldn't find the chart that says you're in
room two O four, I had no idea, even after
an entire school year, where I was going. But it
(34:12):
did allow me to get instant ability, like a prosthetic exoskeleton,
kind of an instant thing about this is how, you know,
to allow myself to function. You know those machines that
allow people with paralysis to move. That's what intuition did
for me. So it didn't become a part of me.
(34:34):
It didn't heal me, but it came through me and protected.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Me and showed you the way right.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Well, it took over the way absolutely, and it was
it was just enormously protective. And it really became conscious
when I realized that this was something that was given
to me that maybe wasn't given to my sister or
(35:01):
my brother, or my other sister, or my mother or
the many other family members who have committed suicide, that
this was, that this was something that was a fluke
of my ability to use the mechanics of having a
structure that works without actually having that structure myself. And
(35:27):
I use this. I mean I always have a copy
with me. I use this. And I really liked the book,
not the audio, not the digital of the book.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
I love the book too. I love to hold it
and to be able to slip back.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
It's also helpful because the way you look at it,
it gives you. It really gives you some choices in
a way that if it's removed, it doesn't because we
are trauma. You know, not having an ego is not
being powerfully in yourself enough to create in your life.
(36:04):
You know, being in a damaged self and creating damaged realities.
Either you create great things that lack foundations, or you
can't create things at all because you have a paucity
of resources that you were exposed to. There's so many
different ways that damage in those first years affect us.
But you don't have to understand it, and by the
(36:26):
way you understand it by looking at what's not working
in your life. So you know, I didn't have to
understand I didn't understand that I was put in the
position of protecting my mother and always having to be
in battle in the world until I noticed that I
was always in battle in the world. I thought, oh, well,
(36:48):
the antidote to this is to stop my natural tendency
to defend every creature on the planet. Just not get
into battles.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
So that was an awareness that you that you realized. Okay,
So when you go through this book, when you go
through it, like what do you like flips like the
First Ego Center, Like how do you use this book
on a daily basis? Because I read the whole book
and I went through all the ego centers and it's like,
it's kind of like the.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Chakras is what. I just don't want to get any
of these things wrong.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
And I'm saying the chakras, but it's not the chakras, Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
It's the same areas in your body and has.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
A lot in common. Like right now, as a group,
we're working on our first Ego Center, which is really
our foundation. Right it's great to use the colors of
the First Ego Center red, you know, yeahs use the
foods that fortify. But it is different because it really
is more about how you take that one energy we
(37:56):
share and refract it out into the world to create
your reality. Again, we're all living in a different reality
even though we also share it. So there are many
ways to use it. A quickie way is just from
the top of your head to the base of your spine.
You know, notice where you're in discomfort, and that is
(38:19):
that usually identifies, especially in the moment, what's not working
for you. So I have I notice my second ego center,
which is nourishment, creativity, abundance. Okay, just remember that I
haven't eaten today and it's two thirty in New York City.
So that may not be a deep, a deep thing,
(38:42):
but it's something that I need to attend to because
I am a human machine. But another way is, you know,
when you wake up, and often especially people who have
had challenges, they wake up and there's something. Often it's
the same feeling when you that that that really is
(39:03):
is impeding them. When you locate it and you go
to that ego center and you you practice either one
of the simple questions or one of the simple assertions,
like really you do it, not think it, not understand it,
just do it. What you find is the functioning part
clicks into place. Also when you're in an argument, noticing
(39:28):
which ego center is lit up gets your attention on
the person you're arguing with, Notice which ego center is
lit up for you? Then you know what is there? What?
What is it that is hurt in them that you
need to address? What is it you? And how can
you do that?
Speaker 3 (39:47):
That is such a good guide and a good tip.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
How many ways to use it because our bodies are maps.
Another another way is when you think of a goal,
like for example, when you think of your know, being
alone and wanting a partner, like, so that's your goal.
You know, where is it in your body? When you
again let your attention move down, where do you feel it?
(40:12):
It's not always your heart, Sometimes it's your fifth ego center,
which is about having a voice, being in conversation, and
then being able to lead a situation. And and those
three levels are you were born with the right to
have a voice once that was modeled for you and
affirmed for you very early on. You learn to be
(40:34):
in conversation. You know, you see baby before they can
even speak, babble and get a response, and then back
and forth and from that conversation, because conversation is both
heard and given you form the ability to lead, you know,
to walk and have people follow, and also to find
those teachers in your life. So if you're if when
(40:58):
you when you wake up, when you're in a party
and you're noticing, wow, I'm the only one who doesn't
have someone. If you notice where that is, you know
what it's about. And again something simple, and that simple
thing might be start up. Go, Go and start up
a conversation with someone you never would have spoken to.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
So you are getting back to it.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
You are about an action step instead of just dwelling
on the past and all of the traumas of the past.
Like I do think there's a time and a place
to address all that and to look into it.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
But you're just saying, let's just start where we are.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Let's identify where this is in our body and then
identify what root like, what the egocenter it's affecting, and
then make a decision based on that information that you
know about that ego center to move forward.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
And the other way is to notice the problem. Oh wait,
you're not you don't have enough clients, you're not making
enough money? Well is that is that? Does it make
you panic or does it make you just not feel
good about yourself? Panic is first ego center, which is
a very wealth money safety ego center, but value is
(42:10):
fourth ego center. So you notice what ego center issue is.
So if the issue is I want to raise I
want a job that pays me for doing something I like.
If that's the issue, then you go to the fourth
ego center and you do something simple and it doesn't
even have to address the immediate problem it addresses. When
(42:31):
you address that ego center, you address it everywhere because,
believe me, if you're not being paid in your job adequately,
you are not being valued in your relationship adequately. You
are not being valued in your social group adequately. You
are a system within a system. It doesn't take You
may just identify it in your job, you know, but
(42:54):
it is everywhere. Good news is when you fix it
in one place, you fix.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
It takes it in all places.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Because what do they say, how you do one thing
is how you do all things. And it's kind of
like this, how you feel in one area, it's probably.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
How you feel in all areas. That makes so it's.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
All part you act, even more than how you feel,
because I try. I also agree there's a place for feeling,
there's a place for remembering, there's a place for all
of that. But you do all of that in much
greater safety when you've solved the problem first, and you
can solve the problem first, and then in order to
(43:32):
keep it solved, all of the rest comes up. But
you're dealing with it, then you know the way to
deal with something is when you're through it. And research
shows that reliving trauma retraumatizes.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
I agree with that, I think you.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
I also, I have had actual success from like going
through the past and kind of rewiring it and letting
it go. But then it's like if you just circulate
on it over and over and over again, I agree
with you. I don't think it does and do you
think it does good to do a little bit of
reflection on it because you kind of have to identify it.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
You don't have to identify it. So I will bet
that when you reflected on the past and worked through
it and blah blah blah, the real step that made
a difference was you're letting it go totally. And you
can let something go by understanding it and et cetera,
et cetera. I think that's ineffective. I think the effective
(44:33):
way is saying, you know what, this is not helping
me get what I want? Right now, let me do
this one thing different, So let me let it go
by just like not even giving it attention, and then
the understanding comes. But the idea that you can understand
your fishbowl from inside your fishbowl, I think is a misconception.
(44:57):
Does that mean I like, I think that behavior year
old therapies are far more effective than analysis. And that's
just my opinion. I can be wrong, but you know,
I think there is a time for analysis. The time
for analysis, though, is when you've done something differently, You've
(45:18):
gotten a different result, and now you want to understand it,
and you can because the dynamic has changed. So you
have a little detect you have a little perspective, and
now you can understand it in a way that you
don't do it again.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
So what do you do for like the first EcoCenter,
it's like survival and you give a lot of prompts.
You know, it's like when you're an infant. Infant your
demands were met and your structures are in place to
sure you safety and health, and you give like positive
prompts and then negative prompts like you know, those.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
Those are those are more kind of this is how
this is what would have been would be healthy. This
what isn't healthy. But the real important one at the
first ego center are the questions, the assertions and the questions,
because what you do is you pick the question or
the assertion that you don't resonate with, because if you
(46:12):
resonate with it, it's going to keep old you in.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
Place, okay, so that you don't resonate with right.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
So for example, I know this sounds a little pathetic,
but today or yesterday, I picked, since we just started,
I'm irreplaceable, and I realized I really don't believe that,
and which is funny because I definitely do feel like
I'm being I'm made special in my life, but I think,
actually I'm really replaceable. I thought, wow, I have to
(46:37):
live this. And so what I did was I started noticing,
started starting yesterday, all the ways that I am irreplaceable
in my environment, to my friends, to my clients. And
it also made me a little kinder in my interaction
(47:00):
actions with them because in realizing that I'm irreplaceable, I
also realized that there's a certain amount of dependence that
I need to be a little more conscious and kind
about show up for a little more. So pick you
pick one and I'll probably do that for one more
(47:21):
day and then at the First Ego Center, I'll pick
something else. Now, we also work because each ego center
has a build so together, and the reason we do
it together is when you do something in a group,
it is exponentially more powerful. So it's not that people
aren't working with whatever ego center they need to work
on to to get their whatever their goals are, but
(47:45):
they're also working as a group on this foundation. So
the what we decided as a group, or what I
decided for the group that we would work on, was order.
So the place of joy at the First Ego Center
is order. And that doesn't sound very yummy, but when
everything's in order, you don't have to think about it.
(48:07):
I mean your clothes and order, your social life and order,
your finances in order. Your house is in order, or
your bath products are in order, your shoes are in order.
It's like you feel safe, but also everything's easy. Yes,
you know, everything is there. Like then all you have
to do is learn more things and build and play
(48:31):
and use your power, which is the gift of the
First Ego Center. Use your your you know, be in
your power and keep growing all the opportunities it attracts.
But order is necessary for that because otherwise you're reinventing
the wheel over and over again. I mean, if in
(48:52):
school I had not lost the card that showed me
where all my classes were, my day wouldn't have been
filled with terror between every class trying to figure out
where I was supposed to go. So, you know, that
is really so we do that on Instagram. We do
it as a group.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Oh that's awesome, Yeah, we do.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
I go on you know, in the morning, I put
on lipstick and go on Instagram with my coffee and
morning I My husband's a TV and screenwriter, so and
I also work all over the world, so morning wherever
I am because he's an insomniac, so I always have
a few free hours in the morning. Not always morning
for everybody. But the each ego center also has a
(49:36):
very organic intuitive ability and a very organic ability as
a human being, and ego ability. Presence is the ego
ability at the first ego center, because your foundation is
your presence. You know, it literally is in a home
where you anchor something to the earth. You know, where
(49:58):
you build that struck support from which everything else can grow.
And of course the intuitive gift is often the opposite
of the physical gift. And so if for example, you
don't like your home, one thing you want to do
(50:19):
is rain in that intuition. And the intuitive gift at
the first ECO Center is remote viewing, which is having
your attention in a location that's not physically present for you,
or astral projection, where you really are physically present at
that location, but you know when you're somewhere else, your
power isn't here and here is where you know, this
(50:42):
point in space time is where you can make change.
We don't love it because it means we have to
get off our butts and do it. But the here
and now is where you can create change. And one
of the things I will say in almost fifty years
of teaching people from all walks of life, I mean,
will go on my website, they see the celebrities, they
see the companies, they see the glam. But you know,
(51:07):
I've taught in shelters. You know I've taught in crisis areas.
I've taught in schools with bullying problem. I mean, you know,
one of the things that I absolutely know because I
don't use believe. Believe means there are no facts behind
it that you can rely on. One thing I have
(51:28):
seen is it doesn't matter where you are right now.
It really doesn't. There are some people who are huge
names who have disasters and disastrous lives. What matters is
what you do with it. And a miracle takes a moment,
and it can be this moment, but you can't magricalize
a miracle starts with saying, wow, this sucks right now.
(51:52):
This is where I am right now. I'm not financially secure,
I don't have a partner, I'm you know, I don't
think I look very good and blah blah blah, you know,
just like and then verifying your data and then doing
something with it, and the first ego center the base
of your spine, your foundation. One of the things it
(52:16):
does with autonomy. You know, hopefully you had that feeling
of welcome and safety. If not, you have to give
it to yourself as an adult. But then the next
step in autonomy is competence because the ability to get
the tools. We all have that, and you know, there
is no man or woman who is an island. We
(52:37):
need each other. And I realized, you know, I have
a situation right now that I've been waiting for a
professional to finish. They're not doing it. I realized, I'm
not competent in this area. This professional is not exercising
his competency. I made a call and said, gee, I
think I'm going to need you to start taking this
(53:00):
over to a friend of mine. Do you have someone
who can help? He said, sure, absolutely, no problem. You know,
so being competent is also connecting with the resources, the teachers,
the learning, the you know, the help that we need
to succeed. It's not you know, we don't. We don't
(53:22):
blossom into everything. Some believe that happens when we're dead.
You know that we become one with everything, but right
now to an individual in an interconnected world, and it
is there for you. And if you don't know, it's
there for you, this is the work for you. Because
it's important to know that.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
What is your hope with this book?
Speaker 2 (53:56):
When people read this and they read through all the
seven steps, what is your hope that they will walk away.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
With I don't even think they need to read through
the seven steps. I hope they go to whatever area
of their life needs fixing. They fix it and they
you know, they're taken out of pain and into their
own power. You know, I think it's I think we
(54:22):
have there are a lot of modalities that help us
tolerate more pain. I find it very suspect. I don't
want to exercise or meditate or medicate my pain away.
I mean, I want to do that too, until I've
done something else. But but I, you know, being able
(54:42):
to manage pain kind of skips over the important thing,
which is, why don't we just fix it? And it
is fixable, it's it's you know. One of my big
inspirations was a young girl named Ellison who died recently
at the age of forty something. And I met her
(55:05):
when she was I forget it was nine or eleven,
first day of middle school. She had been hit by
a car crossing a highway and went from being a
dancer and a student and all these things to being
a quadriplegic on a respirator. Couldn't move anything, including her lungs.
She could only speak through a special device because you
need your breath to speak. And you know, there was
(55:28):
a power bank because if the power went out, the
respirator stopped. This young girl graduated from Harvard, got a
PhD from Stonybrook, was a professor, wrote two books, had
an amazing, amazing, amazing life, we have to find the
(55:50):
can do in our lives, and was surrounded by love,
you know, And I'm sure that doesn't I'm sure that
doesn't mean that she didn't look at her nieces and
nephews and maybe wish that she could have had nieces
and nephews. But I'll bet you that those parents wish
(56:10):
that they had a PhD in public service. I mean,
you know, there's always going to be something we're not.
We are always work in progress. And I know when
this is working, and when my three goals are coming together,
when I completely forget about them and start obsessing about
(56:31):
something else, that's.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
Wrong, Ash Laura, this is like such a wealth of knowledge,
and like Deepak Chopra is in the front, like giving
you praise for it, like you are with the great
minds of our generation sharing your wisdom. It is so
incredible to get to peek inside of your mind. When
(56:53):
you meet people, do you see them as a like
can you see their whole Do you see them as
a person or do you see everything about them right away?
Speaker 3 (57:01):
Like would you meet me? Can you see my whole existence?
Speaker 1 (57:04):
No? Absolutely not I mean, I usually don't see things
about people unless I'm like bored and distracted, and then
I go into their lives or they ask me a question,
and then my intuition is trained. Because I didn't come
to intuition through spirituality. I came through it by being
tested so in the early eighties. So when someone gives
(57:28):
me a target, then I get a wealth of information
and I report it because I don't remember it. But
I certainly don't I would say on a certain level.
Unless even though I am always intuitive, I always laugh
at people who need to get into their intuitive state.
You know, they need their crystal and their breathing and
their hands a certain way and quiet and their special chair,
and like, that's not how intuition works. You know, soldiers
(57:51):
are our great intuitives. Er doctors and nurses are our
great intuitives, especially the nurses. You know, people are doing triage.
Those are our into not the zen monks. And my
intuition is functioning all the time. But if I noticed
all the information, I would be psychotic and not psychic.
So it only gets caught in the net if it's
(58:15):
something that I need to share or something that I
need to know interesting this is a dense book. You
don't have to you don't have to open the cover
and understand it and do it. There's a chart you
can look at what it is that the problem is,
or that the goal is. Go to that chapter and
do one simple suggestion and then have it proven to
(58:37):
you by the changes in your life. You know.
Speaker 3 (58:40):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (58:41):
I love that you're saying that we don't have to
just like go into the weeds of our whole existence
and like figure it all out and do all the grieving,
which I mean all that, Like I said, I have
done all of that stuff and it has been I'm
not upset that I've done that work.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
But I love that you are.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Saying we can just start now and let's fix the
issue instead of having to just dwell on the past
over and over and over again.
Speaker 3 (59:07):
And there's quick results if you follow these steps.
Speaker 1 (59:10):
And what's really I mean, I love therapy, And what's
really interesting for me about therapy is the importance of witness,
you know, going to a place where all the stuff
that's confused inside of you speak outside of you and
there's someone there to connect with it, to witness it.
(59:31):
Same thing I really love about writing I mean, originally,
I think as a writing it was a way of
nourishing myself because it was it was witness, It came
out of me, and I could look at this and say,
oh wait, even though maybe no one in third grade
wants to be friends with this person, I want to
(59:52):
be friends with this person. This is an interesting person.
I mean, I remember when I had my first opposition
book just for my own use, and a number two
pencil and a pencil sharpener, and when I could make words,
And what an amazing gift that outlet was, you know,
(01:00:14):
finding your creative outlet, which is second ego center, which
is nourishment, creativity, and abundance. You know, finding that creative outlet,
whether it's cooking or joining every anyone who's singing on
the street, or you know, whatever it is. But that way,
that vehicle for expression, is such a wonderful thing. So
(01:00:35):
I'm not I'm certainly not against analyzing. I'm not against therapy.
I'm not against feeling, but I find that often people
use it as a way not to move forward, and
getting exactly what you want often solves the internal conflict.
(01:00:56):
I mean, I am, excuse me, I am I guess
I wish I had had a different childhood. It was
so long ago, you know, but I wouldn't want a
different adulthood.
Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
And they're little, they're little vestiges of it that I
continue to work with. So I do wake up every
morning and my first response is terror because that was
my response all through my childhood. And my second response
is realizing I'm not there anymore. Do I wish I
just woke up and calm. That would probably be nice,
(01:01:32):
But I also don't want to be other than I
am now. And when I do want to be other,
I use the prism, I use the circle, and I
change it.
Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
I love that. That is amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Thank you so much for sharing all this with me.
I always wrap up with one question, which is leave
your light, and it's what do you want people to know?
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Just drop some inspiration.
Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
You are irreplaceable and really, I know this makes me
look and sound like a psychic and a healer, but
for a moment, really take the hand of the person
who got you imperfectly as they may have where you
are right now, because there's a lot going on in
you and the world, but you got you here, and
(01:02:16):
if you can honor that bond between you and you
and really be a good friend to you, you know,
which doesn't mean you know, you don't make amends for
things and you don't work on the bumps. We've all
got them. But if you can really just be a
good friend to you, you've got it down.
Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
I love that so much. Thank you so much for
joining me.
Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Thank you for writing this book, The Prism, and I
just can't recommend everyone enough to go get it and
just check in on yourself and see where you are
and do a little audit. And this is such a great,
just easy to understand book. You make it so easy
to read, and it's like you said, you can refer
back to it all the time. You're still referring back
(01:02:58):
to it, and you wrote the book and it's amazing.
So thank you so much for your time, Laura. I
appreciate it. Where can everyone find you?
Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Laura Day into it on Instagram. I just there's no schedule.
I just pop on whenever I can. I often post
it in stories Lauraday dot com. Please sign up for
the newsletter because I do a lot of town halls
for the events, Reading Exchanges, boot Camp, which is my training.
I also post interviews where you can really. You know
(01:03:28):
sometimes I learn more about my work from an interview
than I do from just being me. Yeah, you know that.
They're very enlightening for me. So those are those and
I do where whenever I come to a city, I
try to do a free workshop, either at a soho
house or a bookstore. So if you want me to
come to a city you're a city, please And I
(01:03:50):
always do a class. I don't do a reading. You
can read the book. I don't need to read it
to you. I do a class I do. I do
a mini workshop. I get you all reading, all doing healing,
all making changes, all working in community. So I love
to do that because it is really about connecting with
one another.
Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
I love that so much. Thank you so much for
joining me, Laura. You're amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
And is this book?
Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
Is it out or when is it coming out?
Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
Yes, this is out. I really recommend you get the
hard copy. I know everyone's audio and digital. Get the
hard copy out. You can find it anywhere. I so
appreciate when you write reviews, and I am on my website.
I'm the only one who looks at your questions, so
make them short. I always answer them. So if you
don't get an answer. I mean, this is my what's work,
(01:04:39):
so I'm interested in what it's doing for you. But
if you don't get an answer, it means my computer
'te your email and go offline and you can ask
me your question.
Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
I love it so much. Thank you so much, Lardie,
You're amazing.
Host
Caroline Hobby
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