March 30, 2026 • 55 mins
In this episode Lunchbox talks about how he ended up crashing a Bachelor Party this weekend and it led to the most awkward round of golf of his life. BAE decided she is now going to play golf after an Amazon shopping spree and Ray thinks more women should pick up the game of golf. Plus Lunchbox thought giving kids ice cream at the park was a good idea until random kids surrounded him which made him look like a creep. Also UCONN shocks Duke at the buzzer and Tiger Woods was buzzing after he flipped his car.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Started it good because we got a lot of talk about,
a lot to talk about. I mean, we got to
talk a lot of golf.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Wha the menu.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I mean, we're gonna talk lunchbox is the most awkward
round of golf ever.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We're gonna talk the most famous person I've met, maybe
in the last couple of years. We're gonna talk Baser
starting to play golf. We're gonna talk our boy, Phil Michelson.
It's a boy, Tiger Woods. We're gonna talk Tiger Woods
(00:35):
and the times your kids had practice.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
We did do that this weekend. And we're gonna talk
about a lot of pressure on Callaway.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
The listener or the ball.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
No, no, the listener, Taylor Calloway, because someone did something
this weekend and if they can do that, man, we're
gonna be watching to see what Callaway can accomplish.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well, Justin is up for it. Turn Coacher of the Year.
Unemployment now has a job.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Wow, so wow, that's a big deal.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah, you know he was. He was at rock bottom
and kept digging.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
And that's what you gotta do. You got to keep digging.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Like no, no, he kept digging lower.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Oh, I think he meant digging his way out.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
You need a boost out of that hole.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, okay, totally getting I thought you many kept digging. No,
he kept digging farther and farther down. But yeah, we
better get the show started. Man. Okay, I don't even
know what we're going to start with. You got me
intrigued on your who you met.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I decided that I would just bring it to this
one instead of a big show. I wanted to bring
it here first.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, man, And also, you know what, you know what
else got on the menu. I don't know how much
time we're going to have for this menu or if
we're gonna be able to fit all this in. But
I'm already that dad in sports, I'm already that dad.
I'm already that dad, the one that flirts. No, no,
that I'm already annoyed with the coach. You're the coach,
not of my oldest kid. My oldest kid, I am
(02:04):
not the coach of his baseball team, and I am
already I'm not. I'm I can't say anything. I will
tell you all about it. I will just say that
I feel like I'm already that dad. Track jacket Labrador
retriever cheap did take the dog to the game. Did
take Did take Chase to watch him play? At eight
am on Saturday morning when it was thirty two degrees
(02:28):
and the wind was whipping. It was freezing cold. Great
day for baseball. On Saturday, we played golf. Oh really golf?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Who'd you play golf with man Baser and her friend Jessica.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah, because that's part of the menu. Bays are starting
to play golf.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Are we do it live?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
We're gonna do it live.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
We're gonna do it live. We are the one, two three,
so loser? What up?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports,
so I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions
because I'm pretty much ay sports genius.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
What up, y'all? It's says and I'm from the North
Alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville
with Bazer. They're building sixteen lanes heading out that way.
We got two boying three through three acres, got it mowed,
got furt in the dirt. Also trying to get some
what is it called mulch down, get the trees hedges trimmed,
to get it all ready for my parents coming back
for their third time. They were making a trek around
the country, but they keep just coming through the heart
(03:23):
of America, Nashville, and uh, it was something I was
going to say, but it totally left me. Coach over
to you, man, when will they be back? Do you
know this weekend? Nice?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh, is that when Boomer's coming?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, Boomer will be with them, But it's just two
days and I got to drop them off on the
interstate because I got worked the next day.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Nice. Okay, Yeah, Well, let me tell you about the
most awkward round of golf I've ever played, because I
know we want to talk Tiger Woods and you know,
him flipping the car, but all this golf talk is
going to tie in together. So I decided on Friday.
I didn't play on Thursday when it was the most
beautiful day in the world, but Friday, it's supposed to
be in the seventies. I'm like, I'm still gonna go
on Friday. So we get done here at the whole
(04:02):
office and I'm like, I got the clubs, I'm going.
I go to the course and I see all these
drabbonis like in the parking lot loading up their golf carts.
I'm like, oh my god, I got a hahole.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Ass vandi bros.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I've got to hurry up and beat these guys onto
the course because there's a ton of them, a ton
of them. And so I'm changing into shorts, throw on
my shirtp no jockstrap. I'd run into the clubhouse. And
who's working the register?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Mustard Manny mustard Mouth is ba. Well we know the
devorceays need forty hours.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
And I'm like, godly, I gotta deal with this guy again.
All right. Maybe he's in a better mood. Maybe he's
already had his break, remember, maybe he's already had his
pork missile with mustard all over it. Maybe he's ready
to help me this time. So I walk up and
I say, hey, man, just trying to walk on play eighteen.
He's like, you got a tea time?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Now?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Man? Just like I said, I'm walking up, just trying
to play eighteen. Okay, we'll see what we can do
for you. Well, what do you mean, like, like are
there tea times available? Like is there a tea time
coming up? With three or two? Or like write your
name down, we'll see what we can do.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I hate this style. What is this a DMV? You
take a number?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah? Like you can see what is on the t sheets.
So when you say we'll see what we can do,
you can look and be like, oh, at the eleven thirty,
there's only three people we could get you in.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Then you're gonna take a hot dog missile break with
some mustard and then decide if you're ready for me.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
So then I'm like, all right, cool, all right, whatever,
I just stand around. I don't go outside this time,
because last time I went outside and he forgot about me.
So I stood right there by the count.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Right, why would it wouldn't benefit you? But why would
anybody just leave? He's not gonna take his if if
you're desperate for this tea time and you're on a list,
I would just stand there awkwardly. I mean, there's no
reason to leave him.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You're right, there is no reason to go put. I
gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was
gonna be looking out for me, that he had my
best interest at heart. I made that mistake last time.
If you don't know who mustard Mouth is, got to
go back about a week or so. Listen to the
pod anyway. So I'm sitting there and then here come
the bros. They all drive around in their golf cards
(06:19):
and they go straight to the tee bachelor party.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ding ding ding.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I hope they stocked up the beer. They're gonna clear
out the Ultras and the keystones.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It was a bachelor partay. And they all go pulling
up to the first tee and there's like six hundred
of them and I'm like, I'm never getting out. I'm
never gonna be able to play. And then this dude,
mustard Mouth, gets on the walkie talking goes, hey, Jim,
can you tell me what they're doing out there at
the first tea. Hey, golf, mustard Mouth. There's nine of
(06:55):
them and they're gonna do three sets of three.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Oh, Mustardmouth goes, okay, because I got a single here,
I'm gonna pair him up with one of those three somemes.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Dude, you're part of the bachelor party. You better get
some beers. You're not doing this around sober.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Oh my gosh, and he goes, uh, correct that gym.
I got three singles, so I'm gonna pair a single
up with each group. Oh my god, Like, really, you're
gonna put us in the middle of a bachelor party.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I hope you got five hours.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
This is going to take forever. It is going to
be so awkward. But whatever, man, if that's what you're
gonna do, interes, he goes, all right, sending one your wife.
He goes, you're gonna be with the first group. My god,
he goes, but you can take your own cart. Well
thank god? You think I want to ride in the
cart with the bachelor party? Hey man, how's it going? Uh?
(07:54):
Not a lot?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Man?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Where are you guys from? Very awkward? So I'm all right,
cool man, all right, So I go up and drive.
I'm gonna have to drive through all six hundred of them.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
What's the bridesmaid and what's the bride's name.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I'm like, hey, guys, don't mind me just crashing the
bachelor party. They're like yeah, they're going crazy. I'm like,
oh my god, this is gonna be a long day.
So I joined the first three. I t off and
we drive out and they're playing a scramble.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah are they So that's better. That's gonna move it.
That's gonna move it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And two of the guys that I'm with it look
like they've never played golf in their lives, Like, oh man,
we're just here for the beer. Okay, I'm like, all right, cool,
and they're the bachelor. I'm with the bachelor. The bachelor's
in my group. I find that out on the second
tea box. I'm jumping ahead.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
But I mean, now you got to ask is there
a is there a groom and a bride or is
it two grooms?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I didn't ask. I didn't ask that. I just they
were from Georgia.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It might have been two grooms.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
They were from Menville, Georgia, and making Georgia is what
I think. It's called Menville or Millleyville or something like that.
Small towns by each other. And so the one guy,
the bachelor, is really the one that wanted to play
golf because he's the one smacking the ball, smacking it well,
it makes sense, he's calling the shots right. And the
other two in his group were not there to play golf.
(09:13):
They weren't very good. They could barely hit the ball whatever,
And it was fine. It's just awkward because then I'm
playing one ball and so I'm hitting a shot, hitting
my second shot, and they're going over picking up their ball,
dropping there hitting and we get to the second tea box.
All right, cool, we talk, Yeah, the Oh you're the bachelor,
cool man? Yeah, when's the wedding? May second? I think
(09:33):
he said, oh that's cool.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
May the second be with you?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And one guy's got his Georgia hat on. So on
the third tee box, I'm like, hey, any of you
guys like Georgia tech fans, Like, I've never met anybody
from Georgia is a Georgia fan? Are there Georgia tech fans?
And the Bachelor's like, man, I'm actually a big tech fan.
I'm like, oh, that's cool. Man, And he was like,
here's a sticker, and his buddy goes, but he's marrying
into Georgia family, all right, cool? Oh man, that's great
(10:01):
to know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Cool.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
And it's just going it's awkward here we go. Then
we get the seventh tea.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I mean, did they do any games pants down you
got to do in your grundies?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
No, because one guy would have had his pants down
the whole time. He hit it past the women's tea
maybe twice all day.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
So you guys made him pull his pants down? No,
come on, you gotta pull your pants down again.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
No. Later on the we're on like number fourteen, and
he goes, hey, guys, how much you want to bet
I don't make it past that tea up there. It
was the one time he hit it past the tea.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So we get to the seventh tee, We're like, hey, man,
come on, are.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
The shotgunning beers? There is a light drinking light drink. Okay,
light drinking. They got the noose isn't made for that
many beers. It's not even a cargirl.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
They're drinking the natty light. So they obviously did not
bring it buy it in the clubhouse. They brought it
with them.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Why did you tell him about the local specialty yingling.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well, they did not want to pay for yingling. They
wanted Natty light. It was cheaper. And the one guy
that was writing solo in his cart were on the
seventh tea. But I was like, hey man, come on.
He's like, my cart won't move cheez. We're like, come on, dude,
like turn the key, it won't move. Gas prices it
was out of gas. Get an electric one. So his buddy,
(11:13):
the bachelor and his buddy were like, hey, just jump
in with him. You're riding four deep. So now the
dude is riding with me, and he might be the
most quiet dude i've ever met. He doesn't say a word.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
How many deep are you? Not? Drinks? People were four people.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
So me and this other guy are now sharing a
cart from the bachelor party, okay, and he's the one that.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
You got your own.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I got my own, all right. And it's so awkward
because he doesn't talk, play some music, he doesn't play golf,
and so it was so awkward because I'd had to
drive him over to where all three of them were hitting,
and then he would have to come with me and
stand sit in the cart while I'm hitting my ball,
and he has nothing to say. He doesn't want to
(12:01):
be he'd be rather be hanging out with his bros
over there. If he had his own cart, he could
just jump over there and just be hanging out with
him the whole time. He would never had to be
with me. But it's out of gas. So then we
get to the after the ninth hole, I'm thinking he's
gonna jump in another cart.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You have to so he can be with his bros.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And I'm like, hey, man, you know you can probably
just grab another cart, and he goes, I'm.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Cool, man, dude, he freaking liked you, and.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I'm like, all right, man, all right, you just hang
out with me, then, all right, we'll just hang out together.
So then he just stops playing golf all together.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
What dude, he thought you were cute.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
He was just hanging out. He would just stand there,
he'd get out of the cart, hang and hang and then.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That's called dating.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I'm like, so, do you guys like go to the
same school, or you like college, or do you guys
grow up together? He's like, grow up together?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Oh, I answered that question.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I'm like, oh, so he went to sant school. No,
because my dad got a job at Jones, and so
I went to Jones. I should have gone to school
with them, but I went to school where my dad taught.
What are they all architects?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No? One was an electrician. The bachelor was an electrician.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Told him he could have used him in Nashville about
a month ago.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
The other guy that was in his with the bachelor
in his cart was a line worker him too. Yeah,
and y'all remove trees from lines. But he works for
a smaller company, so he didn't come here.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Doesn't matter. Big and small, all and tall could have
used it.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Hey, his name has been it. He should have been
in it. Yeah, his name is Paul. We needed y'all. Yes.
And so then that dude that wrote with me never
told me.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
What he did, right, I mean, he may have liked you.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And then finally one of the groups of the buddies
they caught up with us. They were like a hole
behind us. Finally they were like three back. I don't know.
We started slowing down or something, and all of a sudden,
this dude comes alive. They come around the corner and
he's like wow.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I'm like, what the what the hell's going on? Did
it snow back there?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
And I'm like, this dude hasn't said two words. All
of a sudden, he sees his buddies and he's wow wow,
And I'm like, wow, okay, he's alive.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
And he's like, hold on one second, they got my drinks.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
And he goes running over there and he grabs two
twisted te's out of the cooler, and all of a sudden,
this dude is the most energetic person I've ever met
in my freaking life.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
So he just zapped to life.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He zapped to life when he saw his buddies coming
around the corner.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Wow, what the ripper?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Magoo and I was like, am I in a freaking
different world. He hadn't said two words to me all
day riding in my cart, gave up on golf. But
he sees these Drabbroni's and he is like the life
of the party.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So before he was let's just say, lack of a
better person. Who's this, Oh, mister Rogers And then he
turned into Charlie Sheen tiger blood.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Wo what dump? And he sees one of the guys hitting.
He's like, Wow, that's a bad shot. Whoa You ain't
gonna find that one.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Baby, Hey, Rick Flair, give it a minute.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I was just like, is this the same dude? And
then we drive away and he's just like.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
He might have done a little one of those uppers.
Those kids are doing the zen packets, zenachonies. He might
have a lip pillow in.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Maybe he was, but he's like, I think your ball's
over there, man, thanks sees this guy that's in the water.
You ain't getting that one splash. He didn't talk like
that to the two dudes in the group that we
were with. It was so wild.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Camaraderie come right on me.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
And then and then we finished eighteen. It was just
like he's like later, man, and then his boys are
coming up eighteen. He's like, let's go get the girl.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
And I'm like what.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And I was like, hey, I'm gonna leave you the
cart and he goes, all right, man, Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You suck Jimmy, you suck Jimmy. I'm like, a dude,
he's bipolar. I was just like, undiagnosed, did I did?
What just went on? But I know a female version
of that, so it was don't talk to her anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It was very awkward, the fact that he he couldn't
hang with his boys when they're over there just chilling
in the golf cart, and his golf cart could have
been right next to theirs, and he's stuck just with me.
Didn't want to be there, didn't want to play golf.
And by the way, it was freezing cold. The wind
was whipping. I was in shorts, and he was just like,
(16:47):
this is miserable, man, this isn't fun. It's a little
closer and I'm like, yeah, I didn't know it was
going to be this cold either. I didn't bring a jacket.
Then there's this friend, Wow.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Dude, did you buy a jacket? You you e oh, okay,
all right man, and then hey, oh what's up man?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, so do you have a Are you from here? No, man,
I grew up in Texas. That's cool.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Wait, you said Texas or he did?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I did, and he was like, I think he maybe
told him you grew up in Texas because he said,
are you from Nashville?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
And when do we give honest stories? I thought you
did air conditioning sales. Now all of a sudden, you
tell people where you were born.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I tell him that because they asked me if I
was a Tennessee fan. Like I would never tell somebody
I'm from Michigan. I'm always just like, I'm from Nashville.
From here, I'm not telling them.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
The Texas lineage, back to Michigan, back to Wyoming on
the golf course. Who are you? You told him you
were born in Texas. That's the funniest part of the story.
Do you actually have real talks with these idiots? Yeah,
I'm no Texas.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
No, Because here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
If I literally ever say I'm from the Upper Peninsula
of Michigan, somebody punched me in the face because I
have way too much time on my hands.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Well, what happened is he asked me, Oh, you're a
big Tennessee fan. I said, no, I don't really care
about Tennessee. I'm not from here.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
To sail west, dude. I try to nip the conversation
as quick as possible. Dude, I'm from that side of
the Mississippi. It's uh. It used to be a territory
now it's a state. Hold on. It was part of
a treaty, and I'm Louisiana treaty coach.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's part we're right of, the part of the forty
nine Ers, the Niners go West, or the Great Migration,
whatever it was called.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
It was Andrew Jackson, and there was a war and
people tried to come in, believe from England and New
Orleans the Oregon Trade, and he held him off in
New Orleans he because ran he was a slave owner.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Now, I was trying to make conversation so it wouldn't
be as awkward the fact that I'm already in the
middle of a bachelor party and that I am in
the middle of this dude. This dude's in the cart
with me when he does not want to be. I
was just trying to make it like, hey, man, you
at least have fun you guys they went to Al
(19:18):
Dean's the night before. H he was still recovering. I
don't know, man, it was just so that's what dude.
The hangover is the worst. So there's the feeling of
being hungover.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
But then when it you feel like you feel better,
which is the guy in the golf cart starts yelling, whoa,
then that hangover comes around again. That's the worst. That's
even worse than the first hangover. Yea. So he might
have been going through that if they took it deep. Man,
if he was three sheets, he still might have been
feeling the effects. Maybe got to get him some glutathione,
(19:50):
some unboozed. But what says in twenty three.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But what I noticed is the two singles, the other
two singles, they didn't join up with the bachelor party
like they weren't with those other two groups. So they passed.
They passed on joining the bachelor party. So I should
have passed and just joined up with the singles and
gone after the bachelor party because I felt so weird,
and I mean, my group was Jeff definitely the tamest
(20:13):
of the bachelor party, but it still just blew me away.
Maybe they would have been crazier if I wasn't around.
Maybe they were trying to keep it.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I don't know what were the other groups doing hole chugging?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I mean they were coming up and they would just
come running, driving by some and be like if you
and then they'd peel outs that take funny and then
they'd pull up, they pull up to their ball. They'd
be in the fairway. This is how you hit it
if you haven't. Hey, I know you ain't got balls
(20:44):
like me, because look where my ball is, you know,
yelling stuff and my guys be like the Bachelor and
yell back.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
You still ain't gonna hit the green. Dude, Still ain't
gonna hit the green dude. He did that, you should
have flashed your swollen testicle. So it was a very.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Awkward day on the golf course. Man, it was. It
was very strange. What a time man, it was. Yeah,
that was my day at the golf course.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Man, you guys want a round to blow job shots?
We got those rescooping, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
We did get those rescooba. Man.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Now there was none of that. Man. They have a
cartgirl yet, no no cart girl. Jeez, what did they
have to do? Pack him in coolers?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, they packed their zone in their coolers. They got
him out of the car, put them in the coolers,
and they brought them out.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
And you guys care about buma natty.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
I will say about whole fourteen. One of the guys goes, hey, man,
you want to one of our beers. I was like, no, man,
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You've been dry for the last time.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Team. I mean, you guys have been drinking them for
fourteen holes and I've been like awkwardly here, like you
guys are probably twenty four to twenty five and I'm
forty four and I'm in the middle of your bachelor
party and you want nothing to do with me. You're like,
what is this guy doing? You know they went back
to that house that night, right, I remember that dumb
ass that they put with us. Oh my god, how
awkward is that? And the guy that was in my
(21:58):
car don't even know his name because he never gave
me his name.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Was whoa That guy was Dumbered?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Oh man, it was such an awkward name.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Man.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Thanks Mustard Mouth for you know, at least getting me
out on the golf course, but could have done a
better job pairing me up.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Appreciate the tea time musty.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, we'll take a break. We'll take a break. We'll
be back. Man, that bachelor party. Hopefully they didn't get arrested.
We'll be back.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Whoa, whoa, whoa man, you man, your wife, it's better
than you.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Whoa whoa.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Wait, don't tell your Beyonce. You only hit it fifty yards,
you little bit. I'm like, all right, man, you see
a picture of her? No, they didn't. They didn't offer
up a pic.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Them Georgia girls sometimes yeah, and whatever reason. Eric's the
only person I've met from Georgia, maybe the first person.
So I was just envisioned. They all look like Eric
Dodd and their and their chicks all look like Anna.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Always Anna from Georgia's They're like the.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Heart of Georgia. So I just always think people look
like that.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, I mean, I got cousins that are from Georgia
and they live in Georgia, and so well, were.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
They wearing Dockers polo shirt? Were they looking like frat
Daddy's Georgia? Yeah, Okay, that's.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Why I thought. They all met at the University of
Georgia and they're like, nah, we grow up in the
I'm aligneman, all right, cool, man. But the other guy,
I'm telling you, he didn't offer any information, didn't tell
me anything. So yeah, man, it was a great weekend
for golf. I mean. And then I don't know what
day it was that Tiger flipped his car, but I
just saw someone text me he goes, can we keep
(23:30):
that guy out of a car? And I'm like what
it was like Greg, Jacob or Garrett, And I was like,
what are you talking about? Now?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Log on?
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I'm like, oh my god, Tiger, how stupid are you?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Like?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
At what point do all the sponsors say, I'm out?
And was it a Hyundai Genesis?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
No, it looked like a Ranger. Oh did you read
any details? No, he was trying to pass a Furt,
a guy trying to put Furt in the hurt because
he had a trailer in the back, that's right, and
he clipped him somehow and it flipped his Ranger. But
bro was on Jupiter Island. The speed limit has to
(24:11):
be twenty five miles an hour, and Tig's rolling around
in a Ranger going seventy flips it on its ass
and then he's in the edges on this phone where
they got that picture of him.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, I got a triple A. Whatever's going for the
name mark? Can you come pick me up? I got
a car wreck?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
What You're never gonna believe this? My Ranger's on its head.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, you're gonna be like, where do you want me
to pick you up? Over the scene? No, No, I'm probably
gonna be going to jail. Can you pick me up
in jail? I don't want to waste my one call
on you?
Speaker 2 (24:39):
All right?
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Thanks? I got a question. At any point, did Tiger
think maybe I should run? Or do they have to
help him out of the car? No, it looked like
because how did he get out? Because it looked like
it was on the driver side right?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Yeah? But those I mean, bro, let's be real, he
had I would imagine their high ceilings. I would sing,
if you're in a car, a crappy car, be tough
to get out of. My Trailblazer would probably be easier.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
A range rover.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
I bet they have tall ceilings that are made of steal.
He can just get out. Crawled right out fine, unscathed.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Right, but didn't land on the driver's side, so then
he would have to crawl up. Yeah, it was a
passenger window.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
It's Tiger Woods, bro. He's won the Masters a lot
of time. I think he can play jungle Jim, But
that dude and cars and driving crazy because the other
one he was going in Cali with the Genesis. Yeah,
when he wrapped it around the tree, he was going
ninety one hundred and on pills. And that's when hely
on pills.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
They didn't get they didn't test it.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, but this one they did. They go, they got him,
popped him with zero point zero zero and they said, well,
you're on something.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
They said, let's do a p test and he said, nah,
I don't have to urinate right now. All right, Well
urinate when you get to jail. Nah I don't have
to urinate then either. I'm good on the urinating.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
The million dollar question though, because it was mixed reports,
it was something going, well, that's his house.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
But why was he in such a hurry to get home?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Right? Do you think he's trying to do that McDonald's archburg.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I thought maybe he was going to Perkins for an appointment.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Listen. Was he going to play in the Masters? It's
my question.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I do think he was going to play in the Masters,
because he made his return to whatever that crappy golf
is on ESPN, and if you guys watch that, I
don't know what is wrong with you. It is so awful.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
It's like, oh, awesome, I get to watch somebody play
into a screen simulator.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And then they but they have commentary. But is the
commentary really fun? Do you think those guys really give
a crap if they win or lose.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
That's why I'm trying to figure out we got one
of those by us and Bays are always goes, oh,
let's go do it. It's really expensive. And also I
just don't think she's going to be that into it
where it's going to just be her watching me play
into the simulator. But who wants to then watch somebody
else play into a simulator on TV?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And then once they are in the simulator, they drop
the ball wherever it lands on the simulator on the
green and there's I don't know, it's not for me.
I'm not a fan of it. Maybe you like it,
maybe you like the banter back and forth. I don't
know how much these guys get pay how Tiger roped
them into playing in this, but hey man, it's working.
(27:04):
ASPN is using it, so whatever. But if Bays are
done like the simulator. Does she like real golf? Good
segue coach.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
She randomly on a Monday, got on Amazon, got two
hundred dollars. Pink Clubs, got her new pink or pink
pink say they're paying if you'd like, got her new shoes,
got her cocktail te's and colorful balls. Oh tells me
when I come home from work. I'm into golf now
(27:32):
and she's on the back patio chipping on my chipping green,
into my flag, onto my back porch, chipping course.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Oh, tell her to get her own carpet.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I was like, that's blasphemy. I created this whole thing.
But then I beat her. Button. We and her play.
You'd hit three balls? Who could hit the closest?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Second round I dumped one. That's what I was like. Hey,
this is Daddy's course.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Hey, take a step back, take a step back.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So then we go. I drive. We go to uh
pebble Brook. Oh you go the real course, go the
real no driving range. Oh, nobody there. Her and her
friend are drinking summer water. I'm like, all right, okay,
summer water wine. I don't know it's called that though,
Oh it is. Yeah, literally, I've never heard of it. Oh,
I'm gonna rink a little summer water. They don't head again. Okay, ladies,
(28:24):
I'm just gonna be standing here. If you need my advice,
take it. You know they're not taking your tips. No,
but we're there driving. She hits the ball. Great, she
did lessons as a kid.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Really.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, So, I mean, where has this been? I don't
know how randomly on a Monday afternoon she decided to
play golf and she's all in. But that was never
even the bit that I was gonna do and pitch
on this podcast. My bit was how it's actually an
advantage if your wife wants to play. They'll go I'm
gonna tell you why. But yeah, so we just we
did that. Jessica. Jessica was good. They were fine. I mean, Jessica, dude, hurt.
(28:58):
Set might be like three thousand dollars. She's like a
ghost bag. It's all leather.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I thought you were talking about her set. I thought
you said she had a boob job. She said her
set was like three thousand dollars. I was like, wow,
that seems cheap for a boob job. But go ahead.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
She's got a driver cover that's from Maui and it's
the Islands.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I mean it might be two hundred dollars. Did she
play in Maui? They should just buy it. She bought it.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
But every club is so nice, and I mean she's fine,
she's good, like good for a girl.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
And she does she does. She play regularly.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, she plays all the time. Got it and so like.
But our trunk wouldn't open. So she's got this like
three thousand dollars set, and I'm having to like put
it in the back seat. And you know, golf clubs
don't fit good unless you put him in the back trunk, right, Like,
oh my gosh, if I've been one of them, Like obviously,
I'm holding it like a baby trying to put it
in the back of our car. But it worked out.
But it was fine. We all play. We played. It
(29:50):
was great. It was great. Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
When you say you played golf, we plut we drave range.
You did not play golf. You went to the driving range.
When you say me and Baser and Jessica went to
play golf, you went to hit balls. You didn't play golf, Okay,
thank you, Okay. I was very confused.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
But it was windy and it might have been the
same ish day you were playing.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
That's fine, I'm not. I'm not mad at what day
you went or that you whatever, but you just hit
golf balls playing.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I was wearing a stocking cap and Jessica kept saying,
you're such a show off. I'm like, that's literally how
I hit the ball. I'm not, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
You were hitting it that far.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
But it's a driving range, damn. And like it's one
of those driving ranges where there's actually a hole on
the back end of it, so if you crush it,
you could hit one of those guys. So I'd be
like thirty yards away from him. I'd still be like,
for far, just like I hit it so far as
about to hit those golfers and they'd be like, oh
my gosh, Oh my gosh, did you hit it past
the trees? And I'm like, it's like two twenty past
(30:45):
the trees. It was like, it's not that far.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I do like that. I do like that. My roommate
college we used to go to a driving range in
San Antonio and he would hit it out of the
driving range.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
He was like, dude, every time we go, they're gonna
lose money. On me because I'm gonna waste all their
golf balls. I'm like, okay, John, sure, sure, hell he'd
hit it right out of the golf driving range. He
was hitting it so far. I was like, Okay, you're right.
It costs them more money to have you hit balls. Yep,
you're you're winning. Schlep's gotta go get him all got
to go climb in the rocks and get him.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
But then I was thinking with Baser, so I don't
I don't know how long she's gonna be into this,
but what I was thinking is to have her play
with me. It's actually perfect because then it brings in
because Jessica plays with her husband. Oh so it brings
in that couple.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Does the husband?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Is he good? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
You like him?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
We're all fine.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
I mean, do you like him?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You're not amazing. I'm not amazing. Just is an amazing
and he's not. Have we met anybody that's amazing?
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Name is I don't know who that is?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Who's who's amazing? Tiger Woods and guess what he fucked
his car?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yeah, he's not very good.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Nobody's amazing at golf, not good at driving. You know,
it's amazing, Like Jordan Davis and George Burge Jake Owill,
you're not.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
I said, is he good like? Do you like him?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh? Like?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I'm asking like is he good like where you want
to hang out with him and spend time as couples
at the golf course?
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yes? Like is he a good hang? He's a good hang.
He's the huge Reds fan, so we have sports.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
I don't give a damn if he is freaking good
at golf.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
He's the guy that has a little TV on the
island in his place. He's like, Hey, if you don't
like what's on the TV, we got the island TV
you can put on here.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Got him like, thank you, man, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
So there's that, and then there's also the I can't
really ever play on Saturdays because I don't want to
come home after six hours and be tired. And then
Bazer just sits board the whole time. Yea, So now
it opens it up to I can play golf on
Saturdays if she's really into it. And then there's the
other factor of if your boy wants to drink a
little bit, Baser can d d wow. So I don't
(32:46):
really think there's a downside. And with the actual, like
legit logistics of it. So I will hit because guys
play from the whites and blues, girls play from the reds.
And then we'll go up to her red and like
I told her, you're fifty, he's seventy five yards closer.
Every hole all you gotta do. I'm not being sexist. Now,
if you're a girl, you just kind of really got
(33:07):
to hit it straight a little bit and you're already
almost to your second shot where you get it on
the green because you don't have to have a great
drive because you're so much farther ahead of the guy's tease.
So my point is, it's not like we're gonna be
chasing balls like when I'm with Justin and Pitts Pitts,
I'm going three hundred yards that way, three hundred yards
that way with Baser Bro, I don't think I'm leaving
(33:28):
the faraway.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
That's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
And so I mean, I'm like, now I'm wondering, why
do you guys complain about their chicks playing. I really
don't see a downside other than locker room talk like
oh yeah, so I was, you know, I grab them
by the.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
No because then you get yo, oh if you.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Had balls, you'd hit it where on there because look
where my ball is. So that's my point. That's all
I needed to say. I brought I hang up and listen. Yeah,
but she started and I got pictures, videos I can
put on the gram.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Please do put it on the Gram. And this brings
me to my next point that Taylor Kellaway, he's got
a lot of pressure on him because yesterday Gary Woodland
he wrapped up the tourney win down there in Houston, Texas.
And just twenty months ago he had a lesion on
his brain. He had to have brain surgery, and so callaway,
I don't want to hear this. Oh, he had a
tumor on his brain. He can't do anything, Dude, twenty
(34:23):
months later is winning golf tournaments, So callaway, balls in
your court, man, balls in your court.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And also Live took all the golfers and now we
got Gary Woodland winning tournament.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Gary Woodland's a major champion once. Okay, that's more than
a lot of people. That's more than Rickey Fowler.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
If liv was never created. Gary Woodland didn't win yesterday.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah right. He did get hot on Sunday, He got
hot on a freaking firecracker. I was like, oh, and
first of all, who knew that they had the basketball
on it? Like two o'clock in the afternoon, like.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Every other day.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Hey, Saturday, it's at six o'clock, eight o'clock and I
get a text going, well that Tennessee team had a
chance for about ten minutes. I turn it on. It's
already thirty eight to ten. I'm like, what when did
this game start?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
You're gonna take my man card for this one.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
It was one ish and Baser goes, hey, are we
watching the balls game? And I go, what do you
mean it's on later? And she goes, it's on now.
Had no idea the time.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I thought they were doing the same late crap.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I no offense. I had no idea either.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I was like, take my man guard.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Didn't even know, didn't even know.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Oh, they were out by thirty within three minutes.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Yeah. I turned it off real quick, and I flipped
over to golf and Gary Woodland's up by six strokes.
I'm like, well, don't need to watch this all right?
What else can we do? Did something else? And then
the Duke game. I didn't even see it, man, I
got a text from my buddy Justin said, oh my god, Boozer,
what an idiot.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
I'm like Dad, and I'm like, ah, something must have
happened cause I'm at t ball practice, so I didn't
get to see it. And then I log onto the
world Wide Web and I see the dumbest play in
basketball history. Just hold the ball, take the fout? What
are you doing? And the stones on that dude from
the logo nothing but net. I mean, hey, Duke, I'm
(36:11):
not sorry. Couldn't have happened, but to a better school.
Choked like a bunch of dogs, Bye bye whatever. That
other half Kentucky did a half quarter to send over toss.
But this was the March Madness shot.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
We were waiting for him.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I mean I had the laptop on because the TVs
now take like five minutes to log into. It's a
lot easier to go on my laptop. So I was
watching on my laptop right before bed. He hits the shot.
I run into the living room yelling at Bazer and
she goes, I saw it too. I saw it too,
and we're going crazy because we root against the big
guy and Boomer had Duke. So now Boomer actually may
(36:45):
fall to third, but I for sure win our family bracket.
But to experience that. Everybody has their story heard. You
didn't see it.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Didn't say it, but when I saw it, I know
it was going in. I knew it was going in.
But what I'm saying is there's the genuine scream.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
I mean literally, I was like, oh my gosh, Oh
my gosh, running out with the laptop. I saw it too.
I saw it too, and then we go into the
living room, main TV watch it together. It's one of
those shots you'll remember when yep, hey man, it's like
I was at T ball.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
I was at T ball practice for the astros man,
and let me tell you, we had a great time
at practice. You know what we did. We had ice
cream and who knew ice cream could cause problems? But
I'll tell you about it right after this. So last practice. Listen,
all you want to do in T balls you're trying
to make it fun, right, You're just trying to have games.
(37:38):
They're not really learning much. They learned to run first run,
a second run, to third run home, drop the bat
when you hit, don't throw it abs.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Yes, what is that pitch review system?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
They don't need to learn that, And I'm just trying
to have some fun. So we played a game last
week at practice. I put a white five gallon bucket
out there and I'm trying to teach them to step
and throw, step and throw, and I said, anybody makes
it in the bucket, we get ice cream at next practice.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I saw this on TikTok. You did continue?
Speaker 1 (38:14):
No, I didn't do this on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
It's like the biggest TikTok video right now. This dad says,
if you can hit one of the bats from home plate,
it's ice cream party for the entire team. And they
throw it from the outfield and they have to hit
one of the bats on home plate. Really, you a TikTok.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Dad, No, I had no idea this was going on.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Your lucky yours is different.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
So anyway, so they're just throwing it, throwing it, throwing it,
throwing it, and they're learning to step and throw there
and it gets them excited because they're having so much fun.
Someone makes it in the bucket.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Heh, you're down fifty, Mike.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Well, I guess I gotta buy ice cream, you know
what I mean? And all at the game on Saturday. Hey,
we're don't forget our ice cream.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
You kids like McDonald's single service.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I don't forget our ice cream. And so did I
go with the plane vanilla ice cream, you know, the
little individual cups. No, your boy wanted to give them
a flavor to it. I brought drumsticks. Drumsticks are, pound
for pound, one of the best ice cream treats out there. Agreed,
They're so freaking good. I don't know ice cream sandwiches.
I'm gonna tell you what. As I've gotten older, they suck. Yeah,
(39:20):
they are not good. No, the the soft bread, the
chocolate bread is just muky, gets all up in your teeth.
Not as delicious.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Well, so would you do for a Klondike bar?
Speaker 1 (39:33):
I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Grandpa always got the klondikes. Didn't love them, but they
were decent. They're better than ice cream sandwich.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I mention that. I don't know if I've ever had
a clon I probably had one, but I don't remember
a klondike bar.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Grandpa. I mean we just had to let him roll
with it. But he always got the klondikes. We're like Grandpa.
Those were popular in the eighties.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, so I bring them in a cooler to practice.
And let me tell you how much four and five
year olds concentrate at practice when they know there's ice
cream at the end a beer cooler. Let me tell
you what they do the whole time. Hey, when are
we getting ice cream? Did you get ice cream? Is
the ice cream here? Where's the ice cream? Are we
gonna have ice cream? Yet?
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
How long until ice cream? So there's no point in
having practice. So we do a couple of things. We
hit off the tee, we field some grounders. We play.
Get get out of my room where you have a
line drawn in the sand and you have two teams
on opposite sides of each other. There's a step of
throw drill, and you have these wiffle balls and they
(40:31):
step and throw like their dirty, dirty laundry. Get out
of my room. And then at the end of the time,
you count how many balls are on each side. Whoever
has less balls wins the game.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
What about pick the weeds in the infield?
Speaker 1 (40:41):
No, we don't play that game.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
My dad always had us do that. Dad, when do
we get to play with the baseballs?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
No, we didn't play pick the weeds up? But whatever,
So then we run the bases and we celebrate with
ice cream. And there's one kid that's crying in tears
because his mom told him, no, you can't have ice cream.
You had cake at a birthday party earlier today.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Oh my gosh, these kids are already doing keto.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
And it's sad for the kid. And I'm like, all right,
you know whatever, what.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Did you have for lunch? Bone? Broth?
Speaker 1 (41:16):
And then finally the kid gets an ice cream, right,
and he eats it and he enjoys it.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Here sneak another one. You don't have food at home.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
And then there's a grandma and grandpa and we're packing
up to leave and they have their grandson with him
and they come over. Can we hit off your tea?
I'm like, yeah, go for it, you know whatever.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
I mean, what is he the next Boba? Shit?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Well, he did have a reds jersey on, so I
think he's the next Cruz. Yeah, I think that's who
he is. I'm like, sure, go ahead and hit for
a little bit off the tea.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Let us be real. If the kid's not from the
Dominican and he's probably not making the majors.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Probably right, And so they're hitting off the tea, hitting
off the tea and then my wife calls me and goes, hey,
the neighbors said they want to go to you know, eat,
so are you on your way? I'm like, no, kids
hitting off the tee. I'll meet you at the restaurant.
So then I have to go up to the grandma
and grandpa and I have to be like, hey, you know,
we're leaving. I'm sorry, but you know, because of practice day,
(42:11):
we did have ice cream. So I give the kid
an ice cream and they're all fine with it, and
we're leaving, and then I guess some other kids saw
him with the ice cream and they come running up
to me. My kids are already in the car, so
I look like, I'm just at the park with ice cream, okay.
And I handed to one little girl and there's two
(42:32):
other little girls there, and I hear the mom from
the playground Ellie, what are you doing? Ellie No, and
she goes, I don't want any and they turn around
and run away.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Dude, I'm never having kids.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
And I'm like, oh my god, this is so awkward.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I have kid, I have kids.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
My kids are in the car. We just had practice,
like I'm a coach, like we just we just had.
I'm sorry, what a.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Way to attract kids with ice cream?
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah? It was very I mean, and I see the
optics of me standing by the fence.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's why you always gotta have your kids with you.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Right, But they'd already climbed the fence and got in
the car, and I was just putting the cooler over
the fence, and I was gonna same thing at Victoria's Secret.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Baser goes like ten feet away from me. All of
a sudden, I'm the creep at Victoria's Secret looking for
girls in their panties. That's why i'maying, that's why always
got it. You always got to make sure she's within
like five feet. Yes, well, I'm with you, you know,
I'm like, Baser, she'll learn my lesson. She'll dip out,
you know. She's over there looking at the lingerie and
I got the thong and I'm holding up the thong. Oh,
(43:38):
and the worker goes, can I help you with something?
And it's literally just me looking at a thong and
a store at the all these co eds are in there.
I'm like, my wife's around here somewhere. So I felt bad,
and then I'm like I got my phone out and.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Then I tell the girl, no, you can, I know
you can really have one. And then I'm like, why
am I trying to convince this girl to take the
ice cream? Just give it up.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
I'm telling you, I'm not like I'm a creepy.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
So I just tossed the cooler over the fence, jump
over the fence. I ran because that felt so awkward,
And then when I got in the car, I'm like,
I shouldn't have run. Then I look even worse. So
we go to the restaurant and the other family is
on the t ball team, so she was like, did
you hear that? Mom get upset and I'm like no,
(44:23):
And she's the one that didn't want her kid to
have the ice cream. This is how I find out
about it. She was like yeah, she was like talking
about the birthday cake earlier and she didn't want him
to have that much sugar. And I'm like, oh, I'm
so sorry, and she goes. Then she finally gave in
and let him have it. And then I heard her say, well,
thanks a lot. Whoever's idea this was, I don't know
why they thought it was such a good idea to
(44:43):
give him ice cream at practice.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Wow, man, would you rather they have heroin? At fourteen?
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Like I thought I was making practice fun and this
mom is very mad at me.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Here's the deal. You never can figure out what your
kids are going to end up, Like, I mean, which
kids are gonna end up the drug addicts? Who knows?
But she's gonna shut down the ice cream at four
years old?
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Come on, lady, Like I was just like I was
just trying to do something fun. So now no more
ice cream for the rest of the season. Man, I mean,
I gotta cut the kids off.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
It's like vanilla ice cream or other white stuff in
your nose when you're fifteen, Like, you really never know
how the kids are gonna end up. And she thought
too much sugar at a young age is like not good.
It's a gateway drug.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I guess what does that lead to marijuana? I mean
just because you have cake earlier in the day and
now he can't have ice cream? What's the big deal? Like,
who cares? Do you have the munchies a little bit? Kid?
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Monchies?
Speaker 1 (45:33):
People? I mean people like to ruin things. You know,
you're just trying to have fun.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Like did you have extra ice cream in your cooler?
Like were you eating the ice creamate one. Okay, so
you were like licking an ice cream, holding it open
with ice cream, and these kids are running up to
your cooler.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
Yeah at a park.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
At a park, dude, I'm never having kids.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
We'll take a break, we'll write back, all right, man,
I mean, I say we can. I gotta say. I
gotta say this right now. I've been eliminated for every
single bracket like my three that. I mean.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
It wasn't very predictable, man, I mean Arizona, Michigan, and
I mean just not very predictable, dude. No, most predictable
March Madness ever.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
No, No, because you didn't have Yukon. You didn't have
Yukon getting there. You didn't know everybody about Uka, you
didn't have Illinois getting there. No, you told everybody about Villanova.
Shut up.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
No, no, no, I mixed them up.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
I understand, But you said Villanova.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
I mixed them up. It's obviously Yukon. That's the bad
a one. I mean, it's obviously Yukon. And here's what
everybody knew. It's everybody knew Arizona, Michigan. So I don't
know how your bracket isn't still with a champion. Still no,
I do.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
I have Arizona. But I had talked to you about
how good Michigan is all year. I told you that
like months ago when they started blowing people out in
the first two weeks of the season. By twenty I
was like, Michigan's your national champ. And of course in
the bracket I didn't take them. They unstoppable. And now
in my wife's family's bracket, her sister has overtaken me
(47:06):
because she got Michigan in the final four. I tried
to be different. Think, okay, got a game point somewhere,
so I didn't have that, so she overtook me. Now
I can't beat her. I'm eliminated, and my family bracket
tradition ever dies because Michigan State lost to Yukon. Guess
who's eliminated? This guy right here.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
I told you that. Luckily they made it a game.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
Oh they made it a game.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
They made it a game. Oh my god. I went
to bed at halftime. I love a thirty point blowout.
Immediate nap or immediately get to go to bed.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
I agree with you. I turn it off. I turn
it off.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Balls game that's going off, Michigan State game. I went
to bed, woke up what they only lost by four,
and Boomer said, they took the lead.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Because they did take the lead, dude, I was starting
to I had turned it off too, dude. It was
like thirty one to five. I turned it off, and
I don't know what I started watching instead. I don't
know what it was that was on at the same time.
Maybe I watched the Major League Baseball I have no
idea what I watched. And then I.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Turned it back and I'm like, oh my god, they're
with it eight.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
But they just doing that shoo.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
They're never going to win that game because they don't
have a shooter.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
And that point guard can't shoot. Fears, yes, got he
couldn't shoot. He would get open, he couldn't shoot, and
then he didn't know how to dribble. Sometimes he'd dribble
into trouble and fumble it. And I'm like, God, come on,
you're right there. Just win the freaking game. And they
couldn't do it. They couldn't get a rebound. They ended
up blowing my chance. I'm out of that one. And
then greed is good. I'm just eliminated just because I suck.
(48:30):
I mean, people have Arizona ahead of me. They have
more points than me. I can't catch them. That's what
happens when you take the de facto national champion. You
have the same national champ with so many people. You
can't win. March madness, March sadness. But I love to
see Duke lose. That is awesome, That is amazing, and
I am going to win right now. I am the
favorite to win my women's bracket. I guess my cousin
(48:53):
Andrew and Spencer.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Well, hopefully you picked the favorite.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
I picked a Yukon. I picked Yukon over Texas in
the championship.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Man and guys, not being sexist, don't need you getting
on the message boards about this.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
But there should only be twelve teams in the women's tournament.
Only twelve because they're all blowouts.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
I'm not even gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
We'll take a break. We'll be right back right culture.
I didn't mean to say we're taking a break. I
meant to say we're gonna read an email, yo, coachers,
I'm coming to you live from Tampa, Florida. My bracket
is toast. I'm hoping we can bring back coin flip madness.
I'm going to hang up and listen. Gotta make a
(49:33):
trip out to the field to see if Aaron's arm
is good after a USA got bent over by Venezuela.
Peace Marco from the Bronx.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yeah, Marco, listen, here's the deal. A lot of our
people are in recovery. I wouldn't say that coin flip
madness is what led to my addiction, but it contributed
to it. It was a time during a pandemic in
our country. There wasn't a lot of live sports. I
turned to coin flip madness as a way to win
(50:02):
hundreds of dollars. I came close. Did it fuel it?
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Is it the number one reason for my addiction? Maybe?
Is it? Is it to blame lunch and dud or guy?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (50:15):
But but you don't have anybody to blame but yourself.
There's always three fingers, two of them pointing at you,
the other one you can sit on. My point is this.
That was a fun game, but it could have led
to addiction. That's the same reason we don't do the
sore loser shotgun anymore. We have people in recovery, correct.
That is the same reason I've asked them not to
(50:38):
run ads advertising job finding services because Justin is unemployed.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
Oh that's good way to look at your friends.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
So and now in the process of getting employed. So
because of that, there's certain stuff we don't do on
this show. And I'll hang up and listen.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
Yeah, and we can't play one shining moment, so coin
flip Madness would be a big dud if we just
played that. We didn't play the song over and over
and over and over again. So without playing the song,
it really doesn't hit the same. I don't know what
we would have done if there was no song to play.
Ray Back in the day, it was the Wild West,
it was. Times have changed, and man, I'm gonna tell
(51:15):
you what. We didn't have time for everything on the
menu today. I'm already that dad. When it comes to sports,
I'll talk about that on Wednesday. My frustrations, everything like that.
Have a great Monday. There is no bad. Oh. No,
the women's games are on today. I don't know who plays,
but I know there's Women's Elite eight today.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I had a sexist comment I was gonna do. I'm
no longer gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
Okay, well was it?
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Guys? When I get on ESPN dot com right here,
we go after a major men's March Madness game on
a Saturday or Sunday morning, Why do I log in
in the number one highlights a women's basketball game? It
goes you con wins and then what was the other one?
(51:58):
Baylor Bears win? Holy crap, I didn't know the Bears
were in the tournament. Oh, that's women's It throws me
off every time. What is ESPN doing? The number one
tab should either be Tiger Woods flipped Ranger over yeah,
or the shot.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Heard around the world. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I mean they have some sort of an agenda. I'm
a huge fan of women's basketball. Women basketball, a huge fan,
but doesn't need to be on my front tab. And
I'll hang up and listen.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
Yeah. And when the second tab is they interview a
wrestler from WWE. I mean, I don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Hey, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
Man Tristan hit me up, Arizona lost. I'm like, what
are you talking about? They're in the final four? Oh,
I accidentally saw a women's score.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
I mean he got ball sacked too. He got ESPN.
Now that's what it is. It's ESPN. When you mistake
a man for a woman.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
He said, that they did a flashback score of a
different year, and so he thought Arizona lost. Guys, check
the years. Check the sex, yeah, check the sex.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Check the sex. That when you're looking at scores, check
the sex. That's that's that's huge, huge. All right, we're out.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
I'll tell you what though, was kind of confusing those
Some of those Duke players got some long hair. I
was like, sweet, he turn off the women's game. Let's
go Duke and yukonnor plane. She goes, this is the
Duke and yukon That point guard guy hair all the
way down to his ass.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
I didn't see the game man, the one with the
broken foot is he.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
He's like their three point shooter guy.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I mean, i'll watch him next game. Oh crap, Duke
doesn't have another game, so I can't see him. That's
just so sad for Duke.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
I mean, he's a pretty guy, pretty game, he has
pretty way he glides across the floor. But I mean
it confused me every time with that hair down to
his ass.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
So are the Boozer boys going pro? Are they going
to come back for another year?
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I don't know, But what did the Hurley postgame? Those
Boozer boys are the best guys I've ever shared the
court with. What about the same, what about your five players?
And also you're not even on the court.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
Oh man, did you see him headbout the referee?
Speaker 2 (54:23):
It in this game?
Speaker 1 (54:24):
But they were down.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I gotta give it props to hurly Man down twenty.
I thought that game was toast toast, and they won
the game. He had a great pro postgame presser. He goes,
the Calhouns, give me another Yukon coach. Oh, Julie Genie Noriova, weird.
They carried the torch and I carry it the rest
of the way to torches, tacos.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Let's go boo woo.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
B He went and did some bugger sugars. Then he
came in did eighteen.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Whoa whoa, jeez, you can end that man already buzzed. Whoa,
whoa
Started it good because we got a lot of talk about,
a lot to talk about. I mean, we got to
talk a lot of golf.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Wha the menu.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I mean, we're gonna talk lunchbox is the most awkward
round of golf ever.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We're gonna talk the most famous person I've met, maybe
in the last couple of years. We're gonna talk Baser
starting to play golf. We're gonna talk our boy, Phil Michelson.
It's a boy, Tiger Woods. We're gonna talk Tiger Woods
(00:35):
and the times your kids had practice.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
We did do that this weekend. And we're gonna talk
about a lot of pressure on Callaway.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
The listener or the ball.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
No, no, the listener, Taylor Calloway, because someone did something
this weekend and if they can do that, man, we're
gonna be watching to see what Callaway can accomplish.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well, Justin is up for it. Turn Coacher of the Year.
Unemployment now has a job.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Wow, so wow, that's a big deal.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah, you know he was. He was at rock bottom
and kept digging.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
And that's what you gotta do. You got to keep digging.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Like no, no, he kept digging lower.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Oh, I think he meant digging his way out.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
You need a boost out of that hole.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, okay, totally getting I thought you many kept digging. No,
he kept digging farther and farther down. But yeah, we
better get the show started. Man. Okay, I don't even
know what we're going to start with. You got me
intrigued on your who you met.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I decided that I would just bring it to this
one instead of a big show. I wanted to bring
it here first.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, man, And also, you know what, you know what
else got on the menu. I don't know how much
time we're going to have for this menu or if
we're gonna be able to fit all this in. But
I'm already that dad in sports, I'm already that dad.
I'm already that dad, the one that flirts. No, no,
that I'm already annoyed with the coach. You're the coach,
not of my oldest kid. My oldest kid, I am
(02:04):
not the coach of his baseball team, and I am
already I'm not. I'm I can't say anything. I will
tell you all about it. I will just say that
I feel like I'm already that dad. Track jacket Labrador
retriever cheap did take the dog to the game. Did
take Did take Chase to watch him play? At eight
am on Saturday morning when it was thirty two degrees
(02:28):
and the wind was whipping. It was freezing cold. Great
day for baseball. On Saturday, we played golf. Oh really golf?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Who'd you play golf with man Baser and her friend Jessica.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah, because that's part of the menu. Bays are starting
to play golf.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Are we do it live?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
We're gonna do it live.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
We're gonna do it live. We are the one, two three,
so loser? What up?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports,
so I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions
because I'm pretty much ay sports genius.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
What up, y'all? It's says and I'm from the North
Alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville
with Bazer. They're building sixteen lanes heading out that way.
We got two boying three through three acres, got it mowed,
got furt in the dirt. Also trying to get some
what is it called mulch down, get the trees hedges trimmed,
to get it all ready for my parents coming back
for their third time. They were making a trek around
the country, but they keep just coming through the heart
(03:23):
of America, Nashville, and uh, it was something I was
going to say, but it totally left me. Coach over
to you, man, when will they be back? Do you
know this weekend? Nice?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh, is that when Boomer's coming?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, Boomer will be with them, But it's just two
days and I got to drop them off on the
interstate because I got worked the next day.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Nice. Okay, Yeah, Well, let me tell you about the
most awkward round of golf I've ever played, because I
know we want to talk Tiger Woods and you know,
him flipping the car, but all this golf talk is
going to tie in together. So I decided on Friday.
I didn't play on Thursday when it was the most
beautiful day in the world, but Friday, it's supposed to
be in the seventies. I'm like, I'm still gonna go
on Friday. So we get done here at the whole
(04:02):
office and I'm like, I got the clubs, I'm going.
I go to the course and I see all these
drabbonis like in the parking lot loading up their golf carts.
I'm like, oh my god, I got a hahole.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Ass vandi bros.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I've got to hurry up and beat these guys onto
the course because there's a ton of them, a ton
of them. And so I'm changing into shorts, throw on
my shirtp no jockstrap. I'd run into the clubhouse. And
who's working the register?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Mustard Manny mustard Mouth is ba. Well we know the
devorceays need forty hours.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
And I'm like, godly, I gotta deal with this guy again.
All right. Maybe he's in a better mood. Maybe he's
already had his break, remember, maybe he's already had his
pork missile with mustard all over it. Maybe he's ready
to help me this time. So I walk up and
I say, hey, man, just trying to walk on play eighteen.
He's like, you got a tea time?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Now?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Man? Just like I said, I'm walking up, just trying
to play eighteen. Okay, we'll see what we can do
for you. Well, what do you mean, like, like are
there tea times available? Like is there a tea time
coming up? With three or two? Or like write your
name down, we'll see what we can do.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I hate this style. What is this a DMV? You
take a number?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah? Like you can see what is on the t sheets.
So when you say we'll see what we can do,
you can look and be like, oh, at the eleven thirty,
there's only three people we could get you in.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Then you're gonna take a hot dog missile break with
some mustard and then decide if you're ready for me.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
So then I'm like, all right, cool, all right, whatever,
I just stand around. I don't go outside this time,
because last time I went outside and he forgot about me.
So I stood right there by the count.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Right, why would it wouldn't benefit you? But why would
anybody just leave? He's not gonna take his if if
you're desperate for this tea time and you're on a list,
I would just stand there awkwardly. I mean, there's no
reason to leave him.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You're right, there is no reason to go put. I
gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was
gonna be looking out for me, that he had my
best interest at heart. I made that mistake last time.
If you don't know who mustard Mouth is, got to
go back about a week or so. Listen to the
pod anyway. So I'm sitting there and then here come
the bros. They all drive around in their golf cards
(06:19):
and they go straight to the tee bachelor party.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ding ding ding.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I hope they stocked up the beer. They're gonna clear
out the Ultras and the keystones.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It was a bachelor partay. And they all go pulling
up to the first tee and there's like six hundred
of them and I'm like, I'm never getting out. I'm
never gonna be able to play. And then this dude,
mustard Mouth, gets on the walkie talking goes, hey, Jim,
can you tell me what they're doing out there at
the first tea. Hey, golf, mustard Mouth. There's nine of
(06:55):
them and they're gonna do three sets of three.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Oh, Mustardmouth goes, okay, because I got a single here,
I'm gonna pair him up with one of those three somemes.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Dude, you're part of the bachelor party. You better get
some beers. You're not doing this around sober.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Oh my gosh, and he goes, uh, correct that gym.
I got three singles, so I'm gonna pair a single
up with each group. Oh my god, Like, really, you're
gonna put us in the middle of a bachelor party.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I hope you got five hours.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
This is going to take forever. It is going to
be so awkward. But whatever, man, if that's what you're
gonna do, interes, he goes, all right, sending one your wife.
He goes, you're gonna be with the first group. My god,
he goes, but you can take your own cart. Well
thank god? You think I want to ride in the
cart with the bachelor party? Hey man, how's it going? Uh?
(07:54):
Not a lot?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Man?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Where are you guys from? Very awkward? So I'm all right,
cool man, all right, So I go up and drive.
I'm gonna have to drive through all six hundred of them.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
What's the bridesmaid and what's the bride's name.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I'm like, hey, guys, don't mind me just crashing the
bachelor party. They're like yeah, they're going crazy. I'm like,
oh my god, this is gonna be a long day.
So I joined the first three. I t off and
we drive out and they're playing a scramble.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah are they So that's better. That's gonna move it.
That's gonna move it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And two of the guys that I'm with it look
like they've never played golf in their lives, Like, oh man,
we're just here for the beer. Okay, I'm like, all right, cool,
and they're the bachelor. I'm with the bachelor. The bachelor's
in my group. I find that out on the second
tea box. I'm jumping ahead.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
But I mean, now you got to ask is there
a is there a groom and a bride or is
it two grooms?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I didn't ask. I didn't ask that. I just they
were from Georgia.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It might have been two grooms.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
They were from Menville, Georgia, and making Georgia is what
I think. It's called Menville or Millleyville or something like that.
Small towns by each other. And so the one guy,
the bachelor, is really the one that wanted to play
golf because he's the one smacking the ball, smacking it well,
it makes sense, he's calling the shots right. And the
other two in his group were not there to play golf.
(09:13):
They weren't very good. They could barely hit the ball whatever,
And it was fine. It's just awkward because then I'm
playing one ball and so I'm hitting a shot, hitting
my second shot, and they're going over picking up their ball,
dropping there hitting and we get to the second tea box.
All right, cool, we talk, Yeah, the Oh you're the bachelor,
cool man? Yeah, when's the wedding? May second? I think
(09:33):
he said, oh that's cool.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
May the second be with you?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And one guy's got his Georgia hat on. So on
the third tee box, I'm like, hey, any of you
guys like Georgia tech fans, Like, I've never met anybody
from Georgia is a Georgia fan? Are there Georgia tech fans?
And the Bachelor's like, man, I'm actually a big tech fan.
I'm like, oh, that's cool. Man, And he was like,
here's a sticker, and his buddy goes, but he's marrying
into Georgia family, all right, cool? Oh man, that's great
(10:01):
to know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Cool.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
And it's just going it's awkward here we go. Then
we get the seventh tea.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I mean, did they do any games pants down you
got to do in your grundies?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
No, because one guy would have had his pants down
the whole time. He hit it past the women's tea
maybe twice all day.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
So you guys made him pull his pants down? No,
come on, you gotta pull your pants down again.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
No. Later on the we're on like number fourteen, and
he goes, hey, guys, how much you want to bet
I don't make it past that tea up there. It
was the one time he hit it past the tea.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So we get to the seventh tee, We're like, hey, man,
come on, are.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
The shotgunning beers? There is a light drinking light drink. Okay,
light drinking. They got the noose isn't made for that
many beers. It's not even a cargirl.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
They're drinking the natty light. So they obviously did not
bring it buy it in the clubhouse. They brought it
with them.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Why did you tell him about the local specialty yingling.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well, they did not want to pay for yingling. They
wanted Natty light. It was cheaper. And the one guy
that was writing solo in his cart were on the
seventh tea. But I was like, hey man, come on.
He's like, my cart won't move cheez. We're like, come on, dude,
like turn the key, it won't move. Gas prices it
was out of gas. Get an electric one. So his buddy,
(11:13):
the bachelor and his buddy were like, hey, just jump
in with him. You're riding four deep. So now the
dude is riding with me, and he might be the
most quiet dude i've ever met. He doesn't say a word.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
How many deep are you? Not? Drinks? People were four people.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
So me and this other guy are now sharing a
cart from the bachelor party, okay, and he's the one that.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
You got your own.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I got my own, all right. And it's so awkward
because he doesn't talk, play some music, he doesn't play golf,
and so it was so awkward because I'd had to
drive him over to where all three of them were hitting,
and then he would have to come with me and
stand sit in the cart while I'm hitting my ball,
and he has nothing to say. He doesn't want to
(12:01):
be he'd be rather be hanging out with his bros
over there. If he had his own cart, he could
just jump over there and just be hanging out with
him the whole time. He would never had to be
with me. But it's out of gas. So then we
get to the after the ninth hole, I'm thinking he's
gonna jump in another cart.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You have to so he can be with his bros.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And I'm like, hey, man, you know you can probably
just grab another cart, and he goes, I'm.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Cool, man, dude, he freaking liked you, and.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I'm like, all right, man, all right, you just hang
out with me, then, all right, we'll just hang out together.
So then he just stops playing golf all together.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
What dude, he thought you were cute.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
He was just hanging out. He would just stand there,
he'd get out of the cart, hang and hang and then.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That's called dating.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I'm like, so, do you guys like go to the
same school, or you like college, or do you guys
grow up together? He's like, grow up together?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Oh, I answered that question.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I'm like, oh, so he went to sant school. No,
because my dad got a job at Jones, and so
I went to Jones. I should have gone to school
with them, but I went to school where my dad taught.
What are they all architects?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No? One was an electrician. The bachelor was an electrician.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Told him he could have used him in Nashville about
a month ago.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
The other guy that was in his with the bachelor
in his cart was a line worker him too. Yeah,
and y'all remove trees from lines. But he works for
a smaller company, so he didn't come here.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Doesn't matter. Big and small, all and tall could have
used it.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Hey, his name has been it. He should have been
in it. Yeah, his name is Paul. We needed y'all. Yes.
And so then that dude that wrote with me never
told me.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
What he did, right, I mean, he may have liked you.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And then finally one of the groups of the buddies
they caught up with us. They were like a hole
behind us. Finally they were like three back. I don't know.
We started slowing down or something, and all of a sudden,
this dude comes alive. They come around the corner and
he's like wow.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I'm like, what the what the hell's going on? Did
it snow back there?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
And I'm like, this dude hasn't said two words. All
of a sudden, he sees his buddies and he's wow wow,
And I'm like, wow, okay, he's alive.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
And he's like, hold on one second, they got my drinks.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
And he goes running over there and he grabs two
twisted te's out of the cooler, and all of a sudden,
this dude is the most energetic person I've ever met
in my freaking life.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
So he just zapped to life.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He zapped to life when he saw his buddies coming
around the corner.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Wow, what the ripper?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Magoo and I was like, am I in a freaking
different world. He hadn't said two words to me all
day riding in my cart, gave up on golf. But
he sees these Drabbroni's and he is like the life
of the party.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So before he was let's just say, lack of a
better person. Who's this, Oh, mister Rogers And then he
turned into Charlie Sheen tiger blood.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Wo what dump? And he sees one of the guys hitting.
He's like, Wow, that's a bad shot. Whoa You ain't
gonna find that one.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Baby, Hey, Rick Flair, give it a minute.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I was just like, is this the same dude? And
then we drive away and he's just like.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
He might have done a little one of those uppers.
Those kids are doing the zen packets, zenachonies. He might
have a lip pillow in.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Maybe he was, but he's like, I think your ball's
over there, man, thanks sees this guy that's in the water.
You ain't getting that one splash. He didn't talk like
that to the two dudes in the group that we
were with. It was so wild.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Camaraderie come right on me.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
And then and then we finished eighteen. It was just
like he's like later, man, and then his boys are
coming up eighteen. He's like, let's go get the girl.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
And I'm like what.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And I was like, hey, I'm gonna leave you the
cart and he goes, all right, man, Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You suck Jimmy, you suck Jimmy. I'm like, a dude,
he's bipolar. I was just like, undiagnosed, did I did?
What just went on? But I know a female version
of that, so it was don't talk to her anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It was very awkward, the fact that he he couldn't
hang with his boys when they're over there just chilling
in the golf cart, and his golf cart could have
been right next to theirs, and he's stuck just with me.
Didn't want to be there, didn't want to play golf.
And by the way, it was freezing cold. The wind
was whipping. I was in shorts, and he was just like,
(16:47):
this is miserable, man, this isn't fun. It's a little
closer and I'm like, yeah, I didn't know it was
going to be this cold either. I didn't bring a jacket.
Then there's this friend, Wow.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Dude, did you buy a jacket? You you e oh, okay,
all right man, and then hey, oh what's up man?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, so do you have a Are you from here? No, man,
I grew up in Texas. That's cool.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Wait, you said Texas or he did?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I did, and he was like, I think he maybe
told him you grew up in Texas because he said,
are you from Nashville?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
And when do we give honest stories? I thought you
did air conditioning sales. Now all of a sudden, you
tell people where you were born.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I tell him that because they asked me if I
was a Tennessee fan. Like I would never tell somebody
I'm from Michigan. I'm always just like, I'm from Nashville.
From here, I'm not telling them.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
The Texas lineage, back to Michigan, back to Wyoming on
the golf course. Who are you? You told him you
were born in Texas. That's the funniest part of the story.
Do you actually have real talks with these idiots? Yeah,
I'm no Texas.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
No, Because here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
If I literally ever say I'm from the Upper Peninsula
of Michigan, somebody punched me in the face because I
have way too much time on my hands.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Well, what happened is he asked me, Oh, you're a
big Tennessee fan. I said, no, I don't really care
about Tennessee. I'm not from here.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
To sail west, dude. I try to nip the conversation
as quick as possible. Dude, I'm from that side of
the Mississippi. It's uh. It used to be a territory
now it's a state. Hold on. It was part of
a treaty, and I'm Louisiana treaty coach.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's part we're right of, the part of the forty
nine Ers, the Niners go West, or the Great Migration,
whatever it was called.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
It was Andrew Jackson, and there was a war and
people tried to come in, believe from England and New
Orleans the Oregon Trade, and he held him off in
New Orleans he because ran he was a slave owner.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Now, I was trying to make conversation so it wouldn't
be as awkward the fact that I'm already in the
middle of a bachelor party and that I am in
the middle of this dude. This dude's in the cart
with me when he does not want to be. I
was just trying to make it like, hey, man, you
at least have fun you guys they went to Al
(19:18):
Dean's the night before. H he was still recovering. I
don't know, man, it was just so that's what dude.
The hangover is the worst. So there's the feeling of
being hungover.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
But then when it you feel like you feel better,
which is the guy in the golf cart starts yelling, whoa,
then that hangover comes around again. That's the worst. That's
even worse than the first hangover. Yea. So he might
have been going through that if they took it deep. Man,
if he was three sheets, he still might have been
feeling the effects. Maybe got to get him some glutathione,
(19:50):
some unboozed. But what says in twenty three.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But what I noticed is the two singles, the other
two singles, they didn't join up with the bachelor party
like they weren't with those other two groups. So they passed.
They passed on joining the bachelor party. So I should
have passed and just joined up with the singles and
gone after the bachelor party because I felt so weird,
and I mean, my group was Jeff definitely the tamest
(20:13):
of the bachelor party, but it still just blew me away.
Maybe they would have been crazier if I wasn't around.
Maybe they were trying to keep it.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I don't know what were the other groups doing hole chugging?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I mean they were coming up and they would just
come running, driving by some and be like if you
and then they'd peel outs that take funny and then
they'd pull up, they pull up to their ball. They'd
be in the fairway. This is how you hit it
if you haven't. Hey, I know you ain't got balls
(20:44):
like me, because look where my ball is, you know,
yelling stuff and my guys be like the Bachelor and
yell back.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
You still ain't gonna hit the green. Dude, Still ain't
gonna hit the green dude. He did that, you should
have flashed your swollen testicle. So it was a very.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Awkward day on the golf course. Man, it was. It
was very strange. What a time man, it was. Yeah,
that was my day at the golf course.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Man, you guys want a round to blow job shots?
We got those rescooping, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
We did get those rescooba. Man.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Now there was none of that. Man. They have a
cartgirl yet, no no cart girl. Jeez, what did they
have to do? Pack him in coolers?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, they packed their zone in their coolers. They got
him out of the car, put them in the coolers,
and they brought them out.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
And you guys care about buma natty.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
I will say about whole fourteen. One of the guys goes, hey, man,
you want to one of our beers. I was like, no, man,
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You've been dry for the last time.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Team. I mean, you guys have been drinking them for
fourteen holes and I've been like awkwardly here, like you
guys are probably twenty four to twenty five and I'm
forty four and I'm in the middle of your bachelor
party and you want nothing to do with me. You're like,
what is this guy doing? You know they went back
to that house that night, right, I remember that dumb
ass that they put with us. Oh my god, how
awkward is that? And the guy that was in my
(21:58):
car don't even know his name because he never gave
me his name.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Was whoa That guy was Dumbered?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Oh man, it was such an awkward name.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Man.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Thanks Mustard Mouth for you know, at least getting me
out on the golf course, but could have done a
better job pairing me up.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Appreciate the tea time musty.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, we'll take a break. We'll take a break. We'll
be back. Man, that bachelor party. Hopefully they didn't get arrested.
We'll be back.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Whoa, whoa, whoa man, you man, your wife, it's better
than you.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Whoa whoa.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Wait, don't tell your Beyonce. You only hit it fifty yards,
you little bit. I'm like, all right, man, you see
a picture of her? No, they didn't. They didn't offer
up a pic.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Them Georgia girls sometimes yeah, and whatever reason. Eric's the
only person I've met from Georgia, maybe the first person.
So I was just envisioned. They all look like Eric
Dodd and their and their chicks all look like Anna.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Always Anna from Georgia's They're like the.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Heart of Georgia. So I just always think people look
like that.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, I mean, I got cousins that are from Georgia
and they live in Georgia, and so well, were.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
They wearing Dockers polo shirt? Were they looking like frat
Daddy's Georgia? Yeah, Okay, that's.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Why I thought. They all met at the University of
Georgia and they're like, nah, we grow up in the
I'm aligneman, all right, cool, man. But the other guy,
I'm telling you, he didn't offer any information, didn't tell
me anything. So yeah, man, it was a great weekend
for golf. I mean. And then I don't know what
day it was that Tiger flipped his car, but I
just saw someone text me he goes, can we keep
(23:30):
that guy out of a car? And I'm like what
it was like Greg, Jacob or Garrett, And I was like,
what are you talking about? Now?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Log on?
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I'm like, oh my god, Tiger, how stupid are you?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Like?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
At what point do all the sponsors say, I'm out?
And was it a Hyundai Genesis?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
No, it looked like a Ranger. Oh did you read
any details? No, he was trying to pass a Furt,
a guy trying to put Furt in the hurt because
he had a trailer in the back, that's right, and
he clipped him somehow and it flipped his Ranger. But
bro was on Jupiter Island. The speed limit has to
(24:11):
be twenty five miles an hour, and Tig's rolling around
in a Ranger going seventy flips it on its ass
and then he's in the edges on this phone where
they got that picture of him.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, I got a triple A. Whatever's going for the
name mark? Can you come pick me up? I got
a car wreck?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
What You're never gonna believe this? My Ranger's on its head.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, you're gonna be like, where do you want me
to pick you up? Over the scene? No, No, I'm probably
gonna be going to jail. Can you pick me up
in jail? I don't want to waste my one call
on you?
Speaker 2 (24:39):
All right?
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Thanks? I got a question. At any point, did Tiger
think maybe I should run? Or do they have to
help him out of the car? No, it looked like
because how did he get out? Because it looked like
it was on the driver side right?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Yeah? But those I mean, bro, let's be real, he
had I would imagine their high ceilings. I would sing,
if you're in a car, a crappy car, be tough
to get out of. My Trailblazer would probably be easier.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
A range rover.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
I bet they have tall ceilings that are made of steal.
He can just get out. Crawled right out fine, unscathed.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Right, but didn't land on the driver's side, so then
he would have to crawl up. Yeah, it was a
passenger window.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
It's Tiger Woods, bro. He's won the Masters a lot
of time. I think he can play jungle Jim, But
that dude and cars and driving crazy because the other
one he was going in Cali with the Genesis. Yeah,
when he wrapped it around the tree, he was going
ninety one hundred and on pills. And that's when hely
on pills.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
They didn't get they didn't test it.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, but this one they did. They go, they got him,
popped him with zero point zero zero and they said, well,
you're on something.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
They said, let's do a p test and he said, nah,
I don't have to urinate right now. All right, Well
urinate when you get to jail. Nah I don't have
to urinate then either. I'm good on the urinating.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
The million dollar question though, because it was mixed reports,
it was something going, well, that's his house.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
But why was he in such a hurry to get home?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Right? Do you think he's trying to do that McDonald's archburg.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I thought maybe he was going to Perkins for an appointment.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Listen. Was he going to play in the Masters? It's
my question.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I do think he was going to play in the Masters,
because he made his return to whatever that crappy golf
is on ESPN, and if you guys watch that, I
don't know what is wrong with you. It is so awful.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
It's like, oh, awesome, I get to watch somebody play
into a screen simulator.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And then they but they have commentary. But is the
commentary really fun? Do you think those guys really give
a crap if they win or lose.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
That's why I'm trying to figure out we got one
of those by us and Bays are always goes, oh,
let's go do it. It's really expensive. And also I
just don't think she's going to be that into it
where it's going to just be her watching me play
into the simulator. But who wants to then watch somebody
else play into a simulator on TV?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And then once they are in the simulator, they drop
the ball wherever it lands on the simulator on the
green and there's I don't know, it's not for me.
I'm not a fan of it. Maybe you like it,
maybe you like the banter back and forth. I don't
know how much these guys get pay how Tiger roped
them into playing in this, but hey man, it's working.
(27:04):
ASPN is using it, so whatever. But if Bays are
done like the simulator. Does she like real golf? Good
segue coach.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
She randomly on a Monday, got on Amazon, got two
hundred dollars. Pink Clubs, got her new pink or pink
pink say they're paying if you'd like, got her new shoes,
got her cocktail te's and colorful balls. Oh tells me
when I come home from work. I'm into golf now
(27:32):
and she's on the back patio chipping on my chipping green,
into my flag, onto my back porch, chipping course.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Oh, tell her to get her own carpet.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I was like, that's blasphemy. I created this whole thing.
But then I beat her. Button. We and her play.
You'd hit three balls? Who could hit the closest?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Second round I dumped one. That's what I was like. Hey,
this is Daddy's course.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Hey, take a step back, take a step back.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So then we go. I drive. We go to uh
pebble Brook. Oh you go the real course, go the
real no driving range. Oh, nobody there. Her and her
friend are drinking summer water. I'm like, all right, okay,
summer water wine. I don't know it's called that though,
Oh it is. Yeah, literally, I've never heard of it. Oh,
I'm gonna rink a little summer water. They don't head again. Okay, ladies,
(28:24):
I'm just gonna be standing here. If you need my advice,
take it. You know they're not taking your tips. No,
but we're there driving. She hits the ball. Great, she
did lessons as a kid.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Really.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, So, I mean, where has this been? I don't
know how randomly on a Monday afternoon she decided to
play golf and she's all in. But that was never
even the bit that I was gonna do and pitch
on this podcast. My bit was how it's actually an
advantage if your wife wants to play. They'll go I'm
gonna tell you why. But yeah, so we just we
did that. Jessica. Jessica was good. They were fine. I mean, Jessica, dude, hurt.
(28:58):
Set might be like three thousand dollars. She's like a
ghost bag. It's all leather.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I thought you were talking about her set. I thought
you said she had a boob job. She said her
set was like three thousand dollars. I was like, wow,
that seems cheap for a boob job. But go ahead.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
She's got a driver cover that's from Maui and it's
the Islands.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I mean it might be two hundred dollars. Did she
play in Maui? They should just buy it. She bought it.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
But every club is so nice, and I mean she's fine,
she's good, like good for a girl.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
And she does she does. She play regularly.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, she plays all the time. Got it and so like.
But our trunk wouldn't open. So she's got this like
three thousand dollars set, and I'm having to like put
it in the back seat. And you know, golf clubs
don't fit good unless you put him in the back trunk, right, Like,
oh my gosh, if I've been one of them, Like obviously,
I'm holding it like a baby trying to put it
in the back of our car. But it worked out.
But it was fine. We all play. We played. It
(29:50):
was great. It was great. Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
When you say you played golf, we plut we drave range.
You did not play golf. You went to the driving range.
When you say me and Baser and Jessica went to
play golf, you went to hit balls. You didn't play golf, Okay,
thank you, Okay. I was very confused.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
But it was windy and it might have been the
same ish day you were playing.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
That's fine, I'm not. I'm not mad at what day
you went or that you whatever, but you just hit
golf balls playing.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I was wearing a stocking cap and Jessica kept saying,
you're such a show off. I'm like, that's literally how
I hit the ball. I'm not, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
You were hitting it that far.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
But it's a driving range, damn. And like it's one
of those driving ranges where there's actually a hole on
the back end of it, so if you crush it,
you could hit one of those guys. So I'd be
like thirty yards away from him. I'd still be like,
for far, just like I hit it so far as
about to hit those golfers and they'd be like, oh
my gosh, Oh my gosh, did you hit it past
the trees? And I'm like, it's like two twenty past
(30:45):
the trees. It was like, it's not that far.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I do like that. I do like that. My roommate
college we used to go to a driving range in
San Antonio and he would hit it out of the
driving range.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
He was like, dude, every time we go, they're gonna
lose money. On me because I'm gonna waste all their
golf balls. I'm like, okay, John, sure, sure, hell he'd
hit it right out of the golf driving range. He
was hitting it so far. I was like, Okay, you're right.
It costs them more money to have you hit balls. Yep,
you're you're winning. Schlep's gotta go get him all got
to go climb in the rocks and get him.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
But then I was thinking with Baser, so I don't
I don't know how long she's gonna be into this,
but what I was thinking is to have her play
with me. It's actually perfect because then it brings in
because Jessica plays with her husband. Oh so it brings
in that couple.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Does the husband?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Is he good? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
You like him?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
We're all fine.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
I mean, do you like him?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You're not amazing. I'm not amazing. Just is an amazing
and he's not. Have we met anybody that's amazing?
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Name is I don't know who that is?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Who's who's amazing? Tiger Woods and guess what he fucked
his car?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yeah, he's not very good.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Nobody's amazing at golf, not good at driving. You know,
it's amazing, Like Jordan Davis and George Burge Jake Owill,
you're not.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
I said, is he good like? Do you like him?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh? Like?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I'm asking like is he good like where you want
to hang out with him and spend time as couples
at the golf course?
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yes? Like is he a good hang? He's a good hang.
He's the huge Reds fan, so we have sports.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
I don't give a damn if he is freaking good
at golf.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
He's the guy that has a little TV on the
island in his place. He's like, Hey, if you don't
like what's on the TV, we got the island TV
you can put on here.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Got him like, thank you, man, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
So there's that, and then there's also the I can't
really ever play on Saturdays because I don't want to
come home after six hours and be tired. And then
Bazer just sits board the whole time. Yea, So now
it opens it up to I can play golf on
Saturdays if she's really into it. And then there's the
other factor of if your boy wants to drink a
little bit, Baser can d d wow. So I don't
(32:46):
really think there's a downside. And with the actual, like
legit logistics of it. So I will hit because guys
play from the whites and blues, girls play from the reds.
And then we'll go up to her red and like
I told her, you're fifty, he's seventy five yards closer.
Every hole all you gotta do. I'm not being sexist. Now,
if you're a girl, you just kind of really got
(33:07):
to hit it straight a little bit and you're already
almost to your second shot where you get it on
the green because you don't have to have a great
drive because you're so much farther ahead of the guy's tease.
So my point is, it's not like we're gonna be
chasing balls like when I'm with Justin and Pitts Pitts,
I'm going three hundred yards that way, three hundred yards
that way with Baser Bro, I don't think I'm leaving
(33:28):
the faraway.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
That's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
And so I mean, I'm like, now I'm wondering, why
do you guys complain about their chicks playing. I really
don't see a downside other than locker room talk like
oh yeah, so I was, you know, I grab them
by the.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
No because then you get yo, oh if you.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Had balls, you'd hit it where on there because look
where my ball is. So that's my point. That's all
I needed to say. I brought I hang up and listen. Yeah,
but she started and I got pictures, videos I can
put on the gram.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Please do put it on the Gram. And this brings
me to my next point that Taylor Kellaway, he's got
a lot of pressure on him because yesterday Gary Woodland
he wrapped up the tourney win down there in Houston, Texas.
And just twenty months ago he had a lesion on
his brain. He had to have brain surgery, and so callaway,
I don't want to hear this. Oh, he had a
tumor on his brain. He can't do anything, Dude, twenty
(34:23):
months later is winning golf tournaments, So callaway, balls in
your court, man, balls in your court.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And also Live took all the golfers and now we
got Gary Woodland winning tournament.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Gary Woodland's a major champion once. Okay, that's more than
a lot of people. That's more than Rickey Fowler.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
If liv was never created. Gary Woodland didn't win yesterday.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah right. He did get hot on Sunday, He got
hot on a freaking firecracker. I was like, oh, and
first of all, who knew that they had the basketball
on it? Like two o'clock in the afternoon, like.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Every other day.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Hey, Saturday, it's at six o'clock, eight o'clock and I
get a text going, well that Tennessee team had a
chance for about ten minutes. I turn it on. It's
already thirty eight to ten. I'm like, what when did
this game start?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
You're gonna take my man card for this one.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
It was one ish and Baser goes, hey, are we
watching the balls game? And I go, what do you
mean it's on later? And she goes, it's on now.
Had no idea the time.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I thought they were doing the same late crap.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I no offense. I had no idea either.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I was like, take my man guard.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Didn't even know, didn't even know.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Oh, they were out by thirty within three minutes.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Yeah. I turned it off real quick, and I flipped
over to golf and Gary Woodland's up by six strokes.
I'm like, well, don't need to watch this all right?
What else can we do? Did something else? And then
the Duke game. I didn't even see it, man, I
got a text from my buddy Justin said, oh my god, Boozer,
what an idiot.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
I'm like Dad, and I'm like, ah, something must have
happened cause I'm at t ball practice, so I didn't
get to see it. And then I log onto the
world Wide Web and I see the dumbest play in
basketball history. Just hold the ball, take the fout? What
are you doing? And the stones on that dude from
the logo nothing but net. I mean, hey, Duke, I'm
(36:11):
not sorry. Couldn't have happened, but to a better school.
Choked like a bunch of dogs, Bye bye whatever. That
other half Kentucky did a half quarter to send over toss.
But this was the March Madness shot.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
We were waiting for him.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I mean I had the laptop on because the TVs
now take like five minutes to log into. It's a
lot easier to go on my laptop. So I was
watching on my laptop right before bed. He hits the shot.
I run into the living room yelling at Bazer and
she goes, I saw it too. I saw it too,
and we're going crazy because we root against the big
guy and Boomer had Duke. So now Boomer actually may
(36:45):
fall to third, but I for sure win our family bracket.
But to experience that. Everybody has their story heard. You
didn't see it.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Didn't say it, but when I saw it, I know
it was going in. I knew it was going in.
But what I'm saying is there's the genuine scream.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
I mean literally, I was like, oh my gosh, Oh
my gosh, running out with the laptop. I saw it too.
I saw it too, and then we go into the
living room, main TV watch it together. It's one of
those shots you'll remember when yep, hey man, it's like
I was at T ball.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
I was at T ball practice for the astros man,
and let me tell you, we had a great time
at practice. You know what we did. We had ice
cream and who knew ice cream could cause problems? But
I'll tell you about it right after this. So last practice. Listen,
all you want to do in T balls you're trying
to make it fun, right, You're just trying to have games.
(37:38):
They're not really learning much. They learned to run first run,
a second run, to third run home, drop the bat
when you hit, don't throw it abs.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Yes, what is that pitch review system?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
They don't need to learn that, And I'm just trying
to have some fun. So we played a game last
week at practice. I put a white five gallon bucket
out there and I'm trying to teach them to step
and throw, step and throw, and I said, anybody makes
it in the bucket, we get ice cream at next practice.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I saw this on TikTok. You did continue?
Speaker 1 (38:14):
No, I didn't do this on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
It's like the biggest TikTok video right now. This dad says,
if you can hit one of the bats from home plate,
it's ice cream party for the entire team. And they
throw it from the outfield and they have to hit
one of the bats on home plate. Really, you a TikTok.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Dad, No, I had no idea this was going on.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Your lucky yours is different.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
So anyway, so they're just throwing it, throwing it, throwing it,
throwing it, and they're learning to step and throw there
and it gets them excited because they're having so much fun.
Someone makes it in the bucket.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Heh, you're down fifty, Mike.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Well, I guess I gotta buy ice cream, you know
what I mean? And all at the game on Saturday. Hey,
we're don't forget our ice cream.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
You kids like McDonald's single service.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I don't forget our ice cream. And so did I
go with the plane vanilla ice cream, you know, the
little individual cups. No, your boy wanted to give them
a flavor to it. I brought drumsticks. Drumsticks are, pound
for pound, one of the best ice cream treats out there. Agreed,
They're so freaking good. I don't know ice cream sandwiches.
I'm gonna tell you what. As I've gotten older, they suck. Yeah,
(39:20):
they are not good. No, the the soft bread, the
chocolate bread is just muky, gets all up in your teeth.
Not as delicious.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Well, so would you do for a Klondike bar?
Speaker 1 (39:33):
I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Grandpa always got the klondikes. Didn't love them, but they
were decent. They're better than ice cream sandwich.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I mention that. I don't know if I've ever had
a clon I probably had one, but I don't remember
a klondike bar.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Grandpa. I mean we just had to let him roll
with it. But he always got the klondikes. We're like Grandpa.
Those were popular in the eighties.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, so I bring them in a cooler to practice.
And let me tell you how much four and five
year olds concentrate at practice when they know there's ice
cream at the end a beer cooler. Let me tell
you what they do the whole time. Hey, when are
we getting ice cream? Did you get ice cream? Is
the ice cream here? Where's the ice cream? Are we
gonna have ice cream? Yet?
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
How long until ice cream? So there's no point in
having practice. So we do a couple of things. We
hit off the tee, we field some grounders. We play.
Get get out of my room where you have a
line drawn in the sand and you have two teams
on opposite sides of each other. There's a step of
throw drill, and you have these wiffle balls and they
(40:31):
step and throw like their dirty, dirty laundry. Get out
of my room. And then at the end of the time,
you count how many balls are on each side. Whoever
has less balls wins the game.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
What about pick the weeds in the infield?
Speaker 1 (40:41):
No, we don't play that game.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
My dad always had us do that. Dad, when do
we get to play with the baseballs?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
No, we didn't play pick the weeds up? But whatever,
So then we run the bases and we celebrate with
ice cream. And there's one kid that's crying in tears
because his mom told him, no, you can't have ice cream.
You had cake at a birthday party earlier today.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Oh my gosh, these kids are already doing keto.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
And it's sad for the kid. And I'm like, all right,
you know whatever, what.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Did you have for lunch? Bone? Broth?
Speaker 1 (41:16):
And then finally the kid gets an ice cream, right,
and he eats it and he enjoys it.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Here sneak another one. You don't have food at home.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
And then there's a grandma and grandpa and we're packing
up to leave and they have their grandson with him
and they come over. Can we hit off your tea?
I'm like, yeah, go for it, you know whatever.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
I mean, what is he the next Boba? Shit?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Well, he did have a reds jersey on, so I
think he's the next Cruz. Yeah, I think that's who
he is. I'm like, sure, go ahead and hit for
a little bit off the tea.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Let us be real. If the kid's not from the
Dominican and he's probably not making the majors.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Probably right, And so they're hitting off the tea, hitting
off the tea and then my wife calls me and goes, hey,
the neighbors said they want to go to you know, eat,
so are you on your way? I'm like, no, kids
hitting off the tee. I'll meet you at the restaurant.
So then I have to go up to the grandma
and grandpa and I have to be like, hey, you know,
we're leaving. I'm sorry, but you know, because of practice day,
(42:11):
we did have ice cream. So I give the kid
an ice cream and they're all fine with it, and
we're leaving, and then I guess some other kids saw
him with the ice cream and they come running up
to me. My kids are already in the car, so
I look like, I'm just at the park with ice cream, okay.
And I handed to one little girl and there's two
(42:32):
other little girls there, and I hear the mom from
the playground Ellie, what are you doing? Ellie No, and
she goes, I don't want any and they turn around
and run away.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Dude, I'm never having kids.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
And I'm like, oh my god, this is so awkward.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I have kid, I have kids.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
My kids are in the car. We just had practice,
like I'm a coach, like we just we just had.
I'm sorry, what a.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Way to attract kids with ice cream?
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah? It was very I mean, and I see the
optics of me standing by the fence.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's why you always gotta have your kids with you.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Right, But they'd already climbed the fence and got in
the car, and I was just putting the cooler over
the fence, and I was gonna same thing at Victoria's Secret.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Baser goes like ten feet away from me. All of
a sudden, I'm the creep at Victoria's Secret looking for
girls in their panties. That's why i'maying, that's why always
got it. You always got to make sure she's within
like five feet. Yes, well, I'm with you, you know,
I'm like, Baser, she'll learn my lesson. She'll dip out,
you know. She's over there looking at the lingerie and
I got the thong and I'm holding up the thong. Oh,
(43:38):
and the worker goes, can I help you with something?
And it's literally just me looking at a thong and
a store at the all these co eds are in there.
I'm like, my wife's around here somewhere. So I felt bad,
and then I'm like I got my phone out and.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Then I tell the girl, no, you can, I know
you can really have one. And then I'm like, why
am I trying to convince this girl to take the
ice cream? Just give it up.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
I'm telling you, I'm not like I'm a creepy.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
So I just tossed the cooler over the fence, jump
over the fence. I ran because that felt so awkward,
And then when I got in the car, I'm like,
I shouldn't have run. Then I look even worse. So
we go to the restaurant and the other family is
on the t ball team, so she was like, did
you hear that? Mom get upset and I'm like no,
(44:23):
And she's the one that didn't want her kid to
have the ice cream. This is how I find out
about it. She was like yeah, she was like talking
about the birthday cake earlier and she didn't want him
to have that much sugar. And I'm like, oh, I'm
so sorry, and she goes. Then she finally gave in
and let him have it. And then I heard her say, well,
thanks a lot. Whoever's idea this was, I don't know
why they thought it was such a good idea to
(44:43):
give him ice cream at practice.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Wow, man, would you rather they have heroin? At fourteen?
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Like I thought I was making practice fun and this
mom is very mad at me.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Here's the deal. You never can figure out what your
kids are going to end up, Like, I mean, which
kids are gonna end up the drug addicts? Who knows?
But she's gonna shut down the ice cream at four
years old?
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Come on, lady, Like I was just like I was
just trying to do something fun. So now no more
ice cream for the rest of the season. Man, I mean,
I gotta cut the kids off.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
It's like vanilla ice cream or other white stuff in
your nose when you're fifteen, Like, you really never know
how the kids are gonna end up. And she thought
too much sugar at a young age is like not good.
It's a gateway drug.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I guess what does that lead to marijuana? I mean
just because you have cake earlier in the day and
now he can't have ice cream? What's the big deal? Like,
who cares? Do you have the munchies a little bit? Kid?
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Monchies?
Speaker 1 (45:33):
People? I mean people like to ruin things. You know,
you're just trying to have fun.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Like did you have extra ice cream in your cooler?
Like were you eating the ice creamate one. Okay, so
you were like licking an ice cream, holding it open
with ice cream, and these kids are running up to
your cooler.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
Yeah at a park.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
At a park, dude, I'm never having kids.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
We'll take a break, we'll write back, all right, man,
I mean, I say we can. I gotta say. I
gotta say this right now. I've been eliminated for every
single bracket like my three that. I mean.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
It wasn't very predictable, man, I mean Arizona, Michigan, and
I mean just not very predictable, dude. No, most predictable
March Madness ever.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
No, No, because you didn't have Yukon. You didn't have
Yukon getting there. You didn't know everybody about Uka, you
didn't have Illinois getting there. No, you told everybody about Villanova.
Shut up.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
No, no, no, I mixed them up.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
I understand, But you said Villanova.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
I mixed them up. It's obviously Yukon. That's the bad
a one. I mean, it's obviously Yukon. And here's what
everybody knew. It's everybody knew Arizona, Michigan. So I don't
know how your bracket isn't still with a champion. Still no,
I do.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
I have Arizona. But I had talked to you about
how good Michigan is all year. I told you that
like months ago when they started blowing people out in
the first two weeks of the season. By twenty I
was like, Michigan's your national champ. And of course in
the bracket I didn't take them. They unstoppable. And now
in my wife's family's bracket, her sister has overtaken me
(47:06):
because she got Michigan in the final four. I tried
to be different. Think, okay, got a game point somewhere,
so I didn't have that, so she overtook me. Now
I can't beat her. I'm eliminated, and my family bracket
tradition ever dies because Michigan State lost to Yukon. Guess
who's eliminated? This guy right here.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
I told you that. Luckily they made it a game.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
Oh they made it a game.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
They made it a game. Oh my god. I went
to bed at halftime. I love a thirty point blowout.
Immediate nap or immediately get to go to bed.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
I agree with you. I turn it off. I turn
it off.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Balls game that's going off, Michigan State game. I went
to bed, woke up what they only lost by four,
and Boomer said, they took the lead.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Because they did take the lead, dude, I was starting
to I had turned it off too, dude. It was
like thirty one to five. I turned it off, and
I don't know what I started watching instead. I don't
know what it was that was on at the same time.
Maybe I watched the Major League Baseball I have no
idea what I watched. And then I.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Turned it back and I'm like, oh my god, they're
with it eight.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
But they just doing that shoo.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
They're never going to win that game because they don't
have a shooter.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
And that point guard can't shoot. Fears, yes, got he
couldn't shoot. He would get open, he couldn't shoot, and
then he didn't know how to dribble. Sometimes he'd dribble
into trouble and fumble it. And I'm like, God, come on,
you're right there. Just win the freaking game. And they
couldn't do it. They couldn't get a rebound. They ended
up blowing my chance. I'm out of that one. And
then greed is good. I'm just eliminated just because I suck.
(48:30):
I mean, people have Arizona ahead of me. They have
more points than me. I can't catch them. That's what
happens when you take the de facto national champion. You
have the same national champ with so many people. You
can't win. March madness, March sadness. But I love to
see Duke lose. That is awesome, That is amazing, and
I am going to win right now. I am the
favorite to win my women's bracket. I guess my cousin
(48:53):
Andrew and Spencer.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Well, hopefully you picked the favorite.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
I picked a Yukon. I picked Yukon over Texas in
the championship.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Man and guys, not being sexist, don't need you getting
on the message boards about this.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
But there should only be twelve teams in the women's tournament.
Only twelve because they're all blowouts.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
I'm not even gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
We'll take a break. We'll be right back right culture.
I didn't mean to say we're taking a break. I
meant to say we're gonna read an email, yo, coachers,
I'm coming to you live from Tampa, Florida. My bracket
is toast. I'm hoping we can bring back coin flip madness.
I'm going to hang up and listen. Gotta make a
(49:33):
trip out to the field to see if Aaron's arm
is good after a USA got bent over by Venezuela.
Peace Marco from the Bronx.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yeah, Marco, listen, here's the deal. A lot of our
people are in recovery. I wouldn't say that coin flip
madness is what led to my addiction, but it contributed
to it. It was a time during a pandemic in
our country. There wasn't a lot of live sports. I
turned to coin flip madness as a way to win
(50:02):
hundreds of dollars. I came close. Did it fuel it?
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Is it the number one reason for my addiction? Maybe?
Is it? Is it to blame lunch and dud or guy?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (50:15):
But but you don't have anybody to blame but yourself.
There's always three fingers, two of them pointing at you,
the other one you can sit on. My point is this.
That was a fun game, but it could have led
to addiction. That's the same reason we don't do the
sore loser shotgun anymore. We have people in recovery, correct.
That is the same reason I've asked them not to
(50:38):
run ads advertising job finding services because Justin is unemployed.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
Oh that's good way to look at your friends.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
So and now in the process of getting employed. So
because of that, there's certain stuff we don't do on
this show. And I'll hang up and listen.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
Yeah, and we can't play one shining moment, so coin
flip Madness would be a big dud if we just
played that. We didn't play the song over and over
and over and over again. So without playing the song,
it really doesn't hit the same. I don't know what
we would have done if there was no song to play.
Ray Back in the day, it was the Wild West,
it was. Times have changed, and man, I'm gonna tell
(51:15):
you what. We didn't have time for everything on the
menu today. I'm already that dad. When it comes to sports,
I'll talk about that on Wednesday. My frustrations, everything like that.
Have a great Monday. There is no bad. Oh. No,
the women's games are on today. I don't know who plays,
but I know there's Women's Elite eight today.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I had a sexist comment I was gonna do. I'm
no longer gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
Okay, well was it?
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Guys? When I get on ESPN dot com right here,
we go after a major men's March Madness game on
a Saturday or Sunday morning, Why do I log in
in the number one highlights a women's basketball game? It
goes you con wins and then what was the other one?
(51:58):
Baylor Bears win? Holy crap, I didn't know the Bears
were in the tournament. Oh, that's women's It throws me
off every time. What is ESPN doing? The number one
tab should either be Tiger Woods flipped Ranger over yeah,
or the shot.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Heard around the world. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I mean they have some sort of an agenda. I'm
a huge fan of women's basketball. Women basketball, a huge fan,
but doesn't need to be on my front tab. And
I'll hang up and listen.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
Yeah. And when the second tab is they interview a
wrestler from WWE. I mean, I don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Hey, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
Man Tristan hit me up, Arizona lost. I'm like, what
are you talking about? They're in the final four? Oh,
I accidentally saw a women's score.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
I mean he got ball sacked too. He got ESPN.
Now that's what it is. It's ESPN. When you mistake
a man for a woman.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
He said, that they did a flashback score of a
different year, and so he thought Arizona lost. Guys, check
the years. Check the sex, yeah, check the sex.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Check the sex. That when you're looking at scores, check
the sex. That's that's that's huge, huge. All right, we're out.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
I'll tell you what though, was kind of confusing those
Some of those Duke players got some long hair. I
was like, sweet, he turn off the women's game. Let's
go Duke and yukonnor plane. She goes, this is the
Duke and yukon That point guard guy hair all the
way down to his ass.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
I didn't see the game man, the one with the
broken foot is he.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
He's like their three point shooter guy.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I mean, i'll watch him next game. Oh crap, Duke
doesn't have another game, so I can't see him. That's
just so sad for Duke.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
I mean, he's a pretty guy, pretty game, he has
pretty way he glides across the floor. But I mean
it confused me every time with that hair down to
his ass.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
So are the Boozer boys going pro? Are they going
to come back for another year?
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I don't know, But what did the Hurley postgame? Those
Boozer boys are the best guys I've ever shared the
court with. What about the same, what about your five players?
And also you're not even on the court.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
Oh man, did you see him headbout the referee?
Speaker 2 (54:23):
It in this game?
Speaker 1 (54:24):
But they were down.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I gotta give it props to hurly Man down twenty.
I thought that game was toast toast, and they won
the game. He had a great pro postgame presser. He goes,
the Calhouns, give me another Yukon coach. Oh, Julie Genie Noriova, weird.
They carried the torch and I carry it the rest
of the way to torches, tacos.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Let's go boo woo.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
B He went and did some bugger sugars. Then he
came in did eighteen.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Whoa whoa, jeez, you can end that man already buzzed. Whoa,
whoa
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Lunchbox
Raymundo
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