June 30, 2025 • 33 mins
8:00 - Social Media Questions
8:15 - Tips to Lasting Love
8:30 - Gaming and Mental Health
8:45 - Gaming and Mental Health
8:15 - Tips to Lasting Love
8:30 - Gaming and Mental Health
8:45 - Gaming and Mental Health
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I Am
six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. If I'm
busy answering questions from my social media producer, Kayla is
checking Instagram, in particular, If you want to send me
a DM, the handle is at Dr Wendy Walsh. That's
at doctor Wendy Walsh. All right, here we go. Hey,
(00:30):
Doctor Wendy says this listener. I've been dating this amazing
guy for four months, and i know I'm falling in
love with him, but I'm scared I'll ruin it if
I say it. First, How do you tell someone you
love them without freaking them out?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
First of all, your job is to be authentic and real.
Your job is not to control anybody else's emotions or feelings.
Your job is to have enough of a backbone that
if this star tartles him or he runs away, you
should know that your love was pure. You were being honest,
(01:07):
and this is his problem, not yours. I'm gonna tell
you a little story. So Julio and I had been
dating only like a month. No, it had to be
because we were already sleeping together. So wait a second
or six weeks before we slept together. So oh, my mom,
So maybe it was two months okay?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
And uh.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We went on a road trip because I had to
buy some real estate in another state. It was a
twelve hour drive. Whatever, we were switching off driving, et cetera.
It was a long day and at one point I
was driving, I pulled into a gas station to pump gas,
and I, you know, in the time it took me
to kind of undo my seat belt, look for my
(01:50):
iPhone case that had my credit card into it, and
start to get out of the car. There he was
at my driver's side car door and he opened the
door and he kissed me on the cheek. I realized
that man had zipped out of the passenger seat, put
his own credit card in the pump and pump my gas.
I'm embarrassed to us. Do you admit this to you?
(02:11):
I dated so many selfish bad boys that this is
the first time in my life a guy had pumped
gas for me and I literally he kissed me on
the cheek and I said, I love you, and he said,
what you're doing it at a gas station. You are
so unromantic. My nickname for you is now Ceo. I
can't believe you did a year. We're at a gas station.
(02:34):
He wanted to be a romantic, of course, he told
me himself later in a more romantic time. There's no
real timing on this. Your feelings are real and authentic. Now,
if you said you've been seeing him for four days,
I'd be that's called lust. But four months you never know.
It might open a window to important opportunity. Just tell
(02:56):
him you love him, all right? Moving on, Dear doctor Wendy,
We've been together for almost two years, and I've been
in therapy for most of that time. Congratulations, Good for you.
He says he doesn't believe in therapy and thinks people
should just figure it out on their own. Is this
(03:17):
a deal breaker? This is not a deal breaker. This
is a conversation starter. Understanding why somebody has beliefs is
all about growing intimacy. So it's not your job to
change him, fix him, or get him into therapy. Just
want to say that that's his job. You. Your job
is to tolerate his behaviors or not, or set up a boundary,
(03:39):
right and leave you don't like it. But if he
says I don't believe in therapy, then you want to say,
I'm curious to know why you don't believe in therapy.
You've seen me in therapy for two years. Do you
think I've improved in my skills at all? Or I'm
curious to know where you got this idea. He may
be just quoting some stigma from the past. He may
(04:01):
be highly shame ridden and doesn't want to his tender
feelings to happen in an office somewhere, but have a conversation.
And then the second statement, he thinks people should just
figure it out on their own. Now you get to
say to him, you know when you said you think
(04:22):
people should be able to figure it out on their own,
I wondered if you were judging me because I go
to therapy and I have benefit from it. I'm wondering
what you think of me the fact that I go
to therapy. Right, All these are conversation starters. That's all
you got to do is just get a little closer
(04:42):
comment on it, not in a judge defensive way, like
well you're wrong, but huh, that's interesting. How'd you come
to believe that. Huh. Are you making a statement about
me and my behavior or you're talking about you being
afraid to go into therapy?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
You just find little ways to gently yet to the truth. Okay,
moving on. If you want to send me a question,
just DM me at Instagram at Dr Wendy Walsh. Okay, Uh,
Dear doctor Wendy. I've been with my girlfriend for eight months.
Things are really good. But I told her I hated
her favorite movie, and now she says I don't get her?
(05:19):
Can we be too honest in a relationship? Should I
have faked it?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I do not believe in faking. Uh. However, if she says,
I you know you don't get me, you don't understand me,
then your answer could be I do want to understand
you more. Tell me more about why this movie is
so special to you. Keep it on her and her
feelings about the movie, not whether you liked the movie
(05:47):
or hated the movie. In fact, Julio and I had
this conversation recently. He watched the documentary that Bono did
on I don't know if you call it a documentary.
It kind of is. It's like they recorded a stage
show where you did a little bit of singing, a
lot of talk, and then they cut to clips and
he told the whole story of his band whatever and
the relationship with his dad. It was very I loved it.
(06:08):
It was very illuminating, but very guy centric, a guy's thing,
you know, the shutdown dad that he had, didn't have
intimacy with, et cetera. I was like, it's it's okay.
But Julio thought it was the best thing ever on TV.
He's obsessed with it. Well that A few nights ago,
I watched the Mariska Mushka Murushka Hargita documentary about her mother,
(06:32):
hold on Jane Mansfield. I did not know that Jane
Mansfield was the mother of Mariska Hargatea. Now I'm not
gonna give it away. I'm telling you it's on Netflix,
and I'm just gonna tell you, if you're a woman,
you're gonna bring the tissues because I cried and cried
and cried. It is filled with family secrets that she discovers.
(06:52):
We follow her as she goes to a storage facility
that hadn't been opened since nineteen sixty nine, and she
finds other family members. We didn't even know about it.
Oh my god. It is filled with great family secrets
and the struggle of a mother and daughter, and a
daughter who lost her mother when she was very young. Course,
I lost my mother to breast cancer, so I was sobbing. Anyway,
(07:14):
Juli and I had a conversation. I said, you know what, Bono,
that documentary felt to you. That's what this Mariska Harketet
documentary felt to me. And he went, oh, I get
it now, you see. So it's just a chance to
open the conversation a little bit more. Always just ask
more questions, all right, when we come back. As you know,
(07:39):
I read the research constantly on the science of love
for a number of reasons. Primarily I like to help
people find a good, healthy mate, but also for me,
I want to keep my love alive. I want to
keep my relationship healthy. So when we come back, four
tips according to research that will help your love stay alive.
Don't go wat you're listening to the Doctor Wendy Wall
(08:00):
Show on KFI AM six forty one Live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall
Show on AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You know, I don't want to leave couples sitting by
the roadside going way to sect do she only talked
to single people and about finding relationships. No, I'm married.
(08:22):
I'm all about finding ways to have a better and
healthier relationship. So I dug through the research so that
you didn't have to, and I came up with four
interesting studies, recent stuff that has some news you can
use in it. It has stuff that all of us
should be aware of if we are in a relationship.
(08:43):
So I like to call this for research backed tips
for building relationships that last. Okay, you ready? Do I
need a drum roll? Well, let's just get right to it. Okay.
Tip number one gentlemen, please listen to this one in particular.
I don't mean to be gender biased, but we do
hear it. Tip number one learn to say I was wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Oops.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Researchers call this having intellectual humility. That means being open
to the idea that maybe, just maybe you might be
wrong sometimes, and that you have a mind that's open
enough that you're willing to learn from other people, not
acting like you know it all right, like you know
(09:30):
everything like every teenager does. They know everything right. So
even when you care deeply about a topic. And this
is interesting for me because you know, I'll be on
my TikTok or my Instagram and people will say that's
not true, and I'll be like, really, how how is
it not? Can you give me new data or new
research to understand that better? Right, because I want to
(09:53):
keep learning. I guess I have intellectual humility. Then the
study came from the journal called Personality. When it found
that couples wear one or both scored high in intellectual humility.
Intellectual humility able to say I'm wrong, tell me more,
had obviously more constructive responses during conflict, greater relationship satisfaction,
(10:17):
and a better emotional bond. They also perceived that it
was fairly easy to get along with their partner, and
they tended to have fewer arguments. Right. Good to know.
I want to remind you people who say or admit
that they're wrong sometimes are not weak. They're trustworthy. Research
(10:38):
shows that when you're open like this, you're going to
have better conflict resolution. As I mentioned, you're going to
trust each other more, and you're going to be happier
in your relationship because when you are being vulnerable and honest,
when you've made a mistake. It basically says, I care
more about us than being right. That my friends can
(11:01):
lead to lasting love. Okay, tip number two here we
go three two? What oh am I counting? I don't
need account in I can just tell you. Here is
tip number two, open a joint bank account. I was
horrified when I read this because Julio and I keep
our money separate. Yes, well, a study from investopedia. Are
(11:22):
they scientists? Are they financial planners? Invest Opedia. Their research
says couples who share a joint bank account report higher
satisfaction than those who don't. Their thinking is that when
you do have a joint bank account, it's going to
spark honest, consistent conversations about money. It's going to prevent
(11:44):
resentments from building because nobody wants to bring up what
did you buy? How much did that cost? Right now?
They did say that many successful couples adopt what's called
a hybrid model. That means they have their own separate
personal accounts, then they set up one in the middle
that's the relationship account or the household account, and there
(12:07):
so they each feel like they've got some autonomy on
either side, and they have this one in the middle.
That's a good idea, all right. Tip number three how
to have long lasting love. According to the research, find
your relationship rhythm. That means embrace the ups and downs.
So there's new research from Germany via Neuroscience News that
(12:30):
reveals that relationship satisfaction, of course naturally ebbs and flows.
You have good days, you have bad days, even within
one day. You have good moments, you have bad moments
right there. But if you're one of those people that
whenever you have a bad moment, you're thinking, should we
break up? Are we going to get a divorce? Is
this over? Here's the secret to weathering the down times
(12:53):
being emotionally responsive. It's responsive to your partner. And now
what this means is your partner comes home in a
really terrible mood they're barking at people. This means turning
towards them and understanding this is their rhythm right now,
asking if they need anything. Now, what they may need
is your presence. They may need your absence, no, I
(13:15):
want to be alone. They may need calming words, they
may need physical affection. They may not know what they need.
You could try a couple things and if being pushed
away step away. But this is called turning towards your
partner in the downtime. If you can respond with warmth
when the rhythm shifts down, you're gonna have a better relationship,
(13:40):
all right. The fourth one is something I was delighted
to read because Hulu and I do this all the time,
talk about the small stuff so that the two of
you can create a kind of universal meaning together, a
kind of knowing. You know, those couples they're out for
dinner with a by people and somebody says something, and
(14:04):
these two couples, this couple catches each other's eye with
a tiny little maybe grin at the corner of their mouth,
and they know they both have the same thought about
the meaning of what that other person said, and they
both know they're gonna have a conversation about it later,
maybe to laugh about it, I don't know, but they're
in sync with each other. So new findings from that
(14:25):
was published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found
that couples who actively co share their world views that
means all day long, if you say, you know what
happened today, right, and here's how I felt about it,
and they try to get on the same page. This
creates greater meaning in their relationship and much less uncertainty.
(14:46):
You know, I have said more recently than the beginning,
because Julia and I have been together, like I don't
know five years now that we finish each other's thoughts,
and you know when you're really overtired. I was driving
in the car the other day and I just to
find the word. I was trying to get this sentence out.
He literally finished my sentence and I was like, okay,
Like we are on the same page. But it's not
(15:07):
just about feeling close. It's about feeling that we're in
the world together and we see the world the same way.
It's like a shared lens that helps couples feel stable.
So the big take takeaways don't be afraid to admit
you're wrong. It's okay, and maybe good to try a
(15:28):
shared bank account every day. There's gonna be ups and downs.
Whether it get a rhythm with it and choose to
see the world together, it'll give your relationship more meaning.
All right, when we come back, I have a special
guest who is going to talk to us about something
terrifying for many parents, how to keep your kids safe,
(15:51):
especially boys in the gaming communities online. There are some
stuff going down that I didn't even know about. That's
when we come back. You're listening to the Doctor went
Well Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI
AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. I
told you I had a very special guest coming up,
and before I introduce him, I want you to understand
how important his work is. If you look at what
we call Generation Alpha. These are little kids aged five
(16:34):
to twelve. Did you know these kindergarteners A striking surprising
eighty three percent of them play video games at least
once a week. Now, then you get into the older
kids eight to twenty four, Jen Alpha and Z about
eighty percent are playing with friends weekly. In America, ninety
(16:56):
seven percent of boys play video games, little lower for girls. Right,
So what are kids doing when they are online? Are
these video games completely harmless? Are they completely safe? Let's
talk about it. My guest is Ron Curbs, the founder
and CEO of Ketas and he's here to tell us
(17:16):
how all parents can navigate these digital spaces for safety
with our kids. Ron, thanks so much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Thank you very much for having me. Wendy.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
First of all, tell me a little bit about Ketas
and what inspired you to create it.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
So, Kidas is actually a COVID company. We started a
company about five years ago and when basically the world stop,
everyone was at home, everyone started to play again. And
I played a lot growing up, and back then it
was already toxic. Then I got back to plane and
I was already in my thirties. I was like, how
come feel toxic? How come no one solvit? And my
(17:53):
background is in AI, so I knew it was possible
to solve and vote or those conversations and make sure
that keep our protective. Okay, it's none credited, that's credit.
So that's the story behind Kidas, and we started to
protect kids while they game, and since then we've been
doing it with one hundreds of thousands of players.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
So I did read somewhere that just in the first
quarter of this year, your data uncovered nearly three thousand
serious safety alerts in just the first three months. Here,
what was the most first of all common, but also
what was the most surprising or disturbing trend that you saw.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Yeah, so it sounds a lot, It sounds a lot
when we talk about three thousand, almost three thousand serious weeks.
But just to give you a context, we are software
protected kids and young gamers in more than fourteen million conversations.
So the ratio is still you know, you know, okay,
you know, it's still a small percentage of the conversation.
(18:55):
But when we're talking about Rick, we're talking about you know,
the most alarming things that are we're detected was location exposure.
So when kids talk with you know, people that they
haven't met in real life, some of them and shared real,
real time information about where they are, what is their address,
what is their parents' work schedules, are they at home
(19:17):
right now? And those are young kids, those are kids
who are eight nine tens, And that information could be
used by online creditors, could be used by pedophiles, to
be used even by cameras and to you know, use
it for their own purposes. And so that was by
you know, by far, the biggest thing that we've seen
in our data, and we've seen nearly fifteen one hundred
(19:40):
a capes of the location exposure, and just to give
you context. In most of the cases, those kids play with,
you know, someone they haven't met in real time. A
lot of the games have what it's called location they
voice chess. It means that you can talk not just
with your friends, you can talk with everyone who's near
(20:00):
you in the virtual world.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
This seems so unsafe for kids. I'm going to have
to admit something here. The last time I played any
kind of electronic or video game was in the nineteen
eighties and it was a bar and it was a
game called pac Man. Okay, that's my usage, that's my knowledge.
So a kid who could be five, six, seven, eight
nine years old puts on a headset with a microphone,
(20:23):
starts playing a game with other players, and then they're
talking in real life.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah. Yeah, So I think the term gaming is a
little bit misleading for what those kids are doing because
we're thinking about gaming, but honestly, it's almost like real
time events that is happening there and they're communicating is
like social media on story, they're communicating, and they're communicating
with hundreds of people while they're playing, and so they're
(20:52):
creating events together. They're creating shows together. They're not just playing,
they're creating multiplayer events and happening in real time. They're
basically creating real time events, basically replicating reality. Just you know,
a week ago and there was a big HOURI or
something that I posted about you know, keeps on road
(21:12):
blocks and basically creating ice brain on roadlooks, basically replicating
what is really happening in real life. So all of
the events are coming from real life into those games.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You know, this is so disturbing. It's like literally letting
strangers into your home and the parents might not even
be home, they might be at work. I know, first
of all, you work with artificial intelligence, How does it
distinguish between typical gaming banter and stuff that really crosses
a line that either might be disclosing personal information or
(21:49):
bullying that might cause psychological harm. How does the AI
figure out? Because look, I've heard guys talk to each other,
especially teenage boys. It ain't pretty the way they talk
to each other. How does the AI just english between
banter and bullying?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah? So, so first of all, I know there are
a lot of perments. They hear AI and they speaks out.
So it's not something that you know, communicates with your keys.
It's not a big brother, it's not that kind of technology. Basically,
what we e created and we brought expert to our team,
people who work in for thefully for law enforcements, for
(22:24):
national security, and we've built together. We identified what are
the top risks that are and you know, kids are
exposed to while playing. We identify sixty four and main
risks the kids are exposed to anything from shape speech, bullying, harassments, scams, onlinequidation,
and then we basically modeled how does the communication that
(22:46):
involved those risks have happened within the game. So we
built those scenarios into the game and then our algorithms
the machine behind it, we call it AI, but basically
it's machine behind the scenes. If I identified based on
the contact, based on the words, based on the age
of the of the participants, based on what is happening
(23:08):
within the game, if that's you know, typical gaming language
just a little bit, or it's actually a serious case
that should be considering flagged and stand to educators, spend
to parents. We work with schools and we will also
work with directly experience.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Okay, we have to take a break, but when we
come back, I want to talk about how these predators
often hide in plain sight and sadly one case, luckily
it was thwarted about a thirteen year old boy in
Michigan who was flagged for suicidal ideation. Let's talk about
this when we come back. My guest is Ron Curbs,
the founder and CEO of Kidas. You're listening to the
(23:44):
Dr Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty. We're
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the
Dr Wendywall Show on KFI AM six forty, Live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. My guest Ron Curbs, the founder
and CEO of Ketis, which is an artificial intelligence company
that hopefully is going to detect serious safety alerts from
(24:06):
your gaming kids. Ron, I heard the story about a
thirteen year old boy who the AI was able to
flag that he was actually thinking of taking his own life.
How quickly can a program like ketas detect and escalate
those kinds of red flags? I mean, are they texting
(24:26):
the parents what's happening here?
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Yeah? So those are some of the most serious cases
that we we detected KEDA and so First of all,
at the moment we understand we have high probability that
something is happening. In turn to get a text message
and email, they also have a dashboard that they can
look at. So the first moment that we pass a
(24:51):
specific level of certainty, they get a message. But in
order to understand it, imagine a kid. Imagine the kid,
and imagine the grow off talking with the kid. Whether
it's a psychology psychiatrist, you cannot identify just from one sentence,
just from one word. So in those cases, basically we
identify it from a few conversations. So a kid, a
(25:14):
young gamer talking with the new players over a certain
period of time about suicidal behavior about you know, hypings
that's hurting themselves. And only when we understood that it's
not part of the game, and when I say we,
I mean the algorithm, I mean it's pure, then we
identified and alert the parents. And those are the type
(25:35):
of things that no parents want to No one wants
to get those type of messages. So one of the
things that we do, and we work with psychologists and psychiatrists,
we have advisors and we have experts on our team.
We basically create recommendations to those situations, because if you're
on the other side, if you receive those type of alerts,
(25:58):
it's sur fine. You don't what to do in the
first place. So the first thing that the first thing
that you will do in our case is basically you're
going to get an article, personalized articles for you on
what to do next, how to communicate, what do you
need to do, what do you need to talk with
your kid about, and who do you need to call
(26:18):
and to deal with the situation.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Can we talk about something that I know every parent fears,
this idea that a predator posing as a child will
be online trying to find out where your kid is.
But the whole process takes a long time. We call
it grooming, right, And how does the algorithm understand first
(26:42):
of all, know that it's an adult versus a kid,
and how do they follow you know, they could be
just kids making friends and getting close to each other.
What patterns or behaviors does that system look for to
identify grooming behaviors by a predator?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yeah, so so grooming unfortunately still happens in the first
quarter of twenty twenty five hour system alone. And you
know we don't monitor all over the gaming conversations in
the world. Just in a case we identified flags and
alerted seventy five parents about situation involving dirty and mainly
(27:22):
those things happen through trust buildings, so it's not a
one time thing. They talk over a period of time,
they build trust, they play together, they help each other,
and they do certain things within the game to build trust.
And then they start with even the small gestures like hey,
can you send me a picture, but like, don't send
(27:44):
me a sexual picture, just send me a picture of
your elbow. Those time things and while you know, they
build truss then and they use this later on and
just extore them to be just more information. Hey, I'm
going to report your tell your parents the system photo
and that's sell me another photo and some one. And
(28:05):
in order to to detect those cases, one of the
things that you need to understand is age different between
the players. And you know, no online president will tell you, hey,
I'm for it, right and the other you.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Have a way to see how they're registered. If they're
registered as an adult in the game, I can't.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
They're pretend. Yeah, they're pretending to be kids. And the
worst thing about you know, the AI age. You know
before that you were communicating with someone and you know,
you could hear from their voice that they're you know, adults,
and in this age and time, they can be used
in a voice changer. Anyone can get a voice changer online.
It's pretty evey and present to be a kid. So
(28:44):
one of the things that you you know, well, of course,
if there is a different invoice, we can with you know,
if you can defend those type of cases. But the
smartest thing that you can do is based on the
type of words that they're using, based on their grammar,
yeah you can, and their education level, and you can
understand how old are they because gen alpha, they use
(29:06):
different type of slang words compared to someone who's you know, forty,
and they use type of different type of the sentence
structures and compared to someone who's older. And so that's
the way that you identify the age they snatch. And
then after that we have patterns that were identifying and
(29:26):
as I said, and trust building is one of them.
But trust building can also happen between you know, peers,
between spriends. So we have a few signals that once
we flagged, and once we identify a few of them,
then we can stay in fur that we're talking about
an online creditor clients a United.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It is terrifying for parents. Do you have any advice
for parents, you know, separate from depending on AI like kitas,
What can they be doing to teach their kids or
can they should they be gaming with their kids? Are
there ways that they can teach kids to protect themselves
in any way?
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yes? So, first of all, if you're parents listening, I
want you to understand that gaming, gaming is great. I
truly believe that gaming is you know, it's greatful kids.
It develops emotional skills, it developed and the eye coordination,
it developed a way to coordinate and work together a
team effort. So it has it has its benefits, but
(30:29):
it should be done in a stafeway and that's why
we credit kid us. But you know, more than that,
I think one of them the biggest gapps that parents
and kids have today is their ability of parents to
understand they keep gaming.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Exactly, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't have any idea what
they're doing with their head set on there.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, so they don't speak the language. So first of all,
and that's something that we're trying to do. You know,
when talking with parents is first of all, understand your
keeps gaming games or they claim what is the capabilities
of the game. Can they use voice chat in the game?
Can they use texture in the game? Is there a
gay quarantine the game? Can they buy virtual assets? What
(31:11):
are the reasons of the games? Can they talk only
with their friends or can they talk with anyone in
the visual world? So I think one of the first
steps that you know, every parent should be doing. Every
parent with kids gaming and that's basically almost everyone they
and it's understanding the game, play with them, bus with
them and sometimes you live in funnish fund Its fine
(31:35):
fun and you know you'll enjoy it. And once they
understand that, you know, you see them, you basically understand
what they're going through because gaming is a big part
of the world. And then they'll start sharing a little
bit more with you. They'll tell you about the new
level in the game, they tell you about the new
player leaders starting to play with and then once you
(31:58):
have those conversations, that's going to open the world for
you to understand what is going on and to teach them.
What's the safeway to do that With a lot of
the younger players, and they don't really distinguish between what
is private information that shouldn't be shared and what is
information that you could be shared.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Right, So there's a lot of teaching moments that have
to happen here with kids.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
That is the best advice. I'm so sorry we're running
out of time, Ron, but I think it's so important
that parents get in the gaming world with them so
that they have some level of understanding of what's going
on and teach their kids not to ever give up
their address or credit cards, et cetera. I really appreciate
this information so important. If they want to find out
more about ketis, where they go.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
Yeah, they go to get kida dot com, g E
T k I, d A S dot com.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Get ketas dot com. Ron Curbs, the founder and CEO
of Ketas, helping families navigate digital safety in spaces like
discord and aiming platforms. Thanks for the work that you
do and that that brings the Doctor Wendy Walls Show
to a close. I'm always here for you every Sunday
from seven to nine pm, usually weighing in about your relationships,
(33:12):
but your relationship with your kids is pretty darn important too.
If you'd like to follow me on my social media.
The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh. But I'll see
you next time here on KFI. You've been listening to
the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to
Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear us live on
(33:34):
KFI AM six forty from seven to nine pm on
Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I Am
six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. If I'm
busy answering questions from my social media producer, Kayla is
checking Instagram, in particular, If you want to send me
a DM, the handle is at Dr Wendy Walsh. That's
at doctor Wendy Walsh. All right, here we go. Hey,
(00:30):
Doctor Wendy says this listener. I've been dating this amazing
guy for four months, and i know I'm falling in
love with him, but I'm scared I'll ruin it if
I say it. First, How do you tell someone you
love them without freaking them out?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
First of all, your job is to be authentic and real.
Your job is not to control anybody else's emotions or feelings.
Your job is to have enough of a backbone that
if this star tartles him or he runs away, you
should know that your love was pure. You were being honest,
(01:07):
and this is his problem, not yours. I'm gonna tell
you a little story. So Julio and I had been
dating only like a month. No, it had to be
because we were already sleeping together. So wait a second
or six weeks before we slept together. So oh, my mom,
So maybe it was two months okay?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
And uh.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We went on a road trip because I had to
buy some real estate in another state. It was a
twelve hour drive. Whatever, we were switching off driving, et cetera.
It was a long day and at one point I
was driving, I pulled into a gas station to pump gas,
and I, you know, in the time it took me
to kind of undo my seat belt, look for my
(01:50):
iPhone case that had my credit card into it, and
start to get out of the car. There he was
at my driver's side car door and he opened the
door and he kissed me on the cheek. I realized
that man had zipped out of the passenger seat, put
his own credit card in the pump and pump my gas.
I'm embarrassed to us. Do you admit this to you?
(02:11):
I dated so many selfish bad boys that this is
the first time in my life a guy had pumped
gas for me and I literally he kissed me on
the cheek and I said, I love you, and he said,
what you're doing it at a gas station. You are
so unromantic. My nickname for you is now Ceo. I
can't believe you did a year. We're at a gas station.
(02:34):
He wanted to be a romantic, of course, he told
me himself later in a more romantic time. There's no
real timing on this. Your feelings are real and authentic. Now,
if you said you've been seeing him for four days,
I'd be that's called lust. But four months you never know.
It might open a window to important opportunity. Just tell
(02:56):
him you love him, all right? Moving on, Dear doctor Wendy,
We've been together for almost two years, and I've been
in therapy for most of that time. Congratulations, Good for you.
He says he doesn't believe in therapy and thinks people
should just figure it out on their own. Is this
(03:17):
a deal breaker? This is not a deal breaker. This
is a conversation starter. Understanding why somebody has beliefs is
all about growing intimacy. So it's not your job to
change him, fix him, or get him into therapy. Just
want to say that that's his job. You. Your job
is to tolerate his behaviors or not, or set up a boundary,
(03:39):
right and leave you don't like it. But if he
says I don't believe in therapy, then you want to say,
I'm curious to know why you don't believe in therapy.
You've seen me in therapy for two years. Do you
think I've improved in my skills at all? Or I'm
curious to know where you got this idea. He may
be just quoting some stigma from the past. He may
(04:01):
be highly shame ridden and doesn't want to his tender
feelings to happen in an office somewhere, but have a conversation.
And then the second statement, he thinks people should just
figure it out on their own. Now you get to
say to him, you know when you said you think
(04:22):
people should be able to figure it out on their own,
I wondered if you were judging me because I go
to therapy and I have benefit from it. I'm wondering
what you think of me the fact that I go
to therapy. Right, All these are conversation starters. That's all
you got to do is just get a little closer
(04:42):
comment on it, not in a judge defensive way, like
well you're wrong, but huh, that's interesting. How'd you come
to believe that. Huh. Are you making a statement about
me and my behavior or you're talking about you being
afraid to go into therapy?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
You just find little ways to gently yet to the truth. Okay,
moving on. If you want to send me a question,
just DM me at Instagram at Dr Wendy Walsh. Okay, Uh,
Dear doctor Wendy. I've been with my girlfriend for eight months.
Things are really good. But I told her I hated
her favorite movie, and now she says I don't get her?
(05:19):
Can we be too honest in a relationship? Should I
have faked it?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I do not believe in faking. Uh. However, if she says,
I you know you don't get me, you don't understand me,
then your answer could be I do want to understand
you more. Tell me more about why this movie is
so special to you. Keep it on her and her
feelings about the movie, not whether you liked the movie
(05:47):
or hated the movie. In fact, Julio and I had
this conversation recently. He watched the documentary that Bono did
on I don't know if you call it a documentary.
It kind of is. It's like they recorded a stage
show where you did a little bit of singing, a
lot of talk, and then they cut to clips and
he told the whole story of his band whatever and
the relationship with his dad. It was very I loved it.
(06:08):
It was very illuminating, but very guy centric, a guy's thing,
you know, the shutdown dad that he had, didn't have
intimacy with, et cetera. I was like, it's it's okay.
But Julio thought it was the best thing ever on TV.
He's obsessed with it. Well that A few nights ago,
I watched the Mariska Mushka Murushka Hargita documentary about her mother,
(06:32):
hold on Jane Mansfield. I did not know that Jane
Mansfield was the mother of Mariska Hargatea. Now I'm not
gonna give it away. I'm telling you it's on Netflix,
and I'm just gonna tell you, if you're a woman,
you're gonna bring the tissues because I cried and cried
and cried. It is filled with family secrets that she discovers.
(06:52):
We follow her as she goes to a storage facility
that hadn't been opened since nineteen sixty nine, and she
finds other family members. We didn't even know about it.
Oh my god. It is filled with great family secrets
and the struggle of a mother and daughter, and a
daughter who lost her mother when she was very young. Course,
I lost my mother to breast cancer, so I was sobbing. Anyway,
(07:14):
Juli and I had a conversation. I said, you know what, Bono,
that documentary felt to you. That's what this Mariska Harketet
documentary felt to me. And he went, oh, I get
it now, you see. So it's just a chance to
open the conversation a little bit more. Always just ask
more questions, all right, when we come back. As you know,
(07:39):
I read the research constantly on the science of love
for a number of reasons. Primarily I like to help
people find a good, healthy mate, but also for me,
I want to keep my love alive. I want to
keep my relationship healthy. So when we come back, four
tips according to research that will help your love stay alive.
Don't go wat you're listening to the Doctor Wendy Wall
(08:00):
Show on KFI AM six forty one Live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall
Show on AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You know, I don't want to leave couples sitting by
the roadside going way to sect do she only talked
to single people and about finding relationships. No, I'm married.
(08:22):
I'm all about finding ways to have a better and
healthier relationship. So I dug through the research so that
you didn't have to, and I came up with four
interesting studies, recent stuff that has some news you can
use in it. It has stuff that all of us
should be aware of if we are in a relationship.
(08:43):
So I like to call this for research backed tips
for building relationships that last. Okay, you ready? Do I
need a drum roll? Well, let's just get right to it. Okay.
Tip number one gentlemen, please listen to this one in particular.
I don't mean to be gender biased, but we do
hear it. Tip number one learn to say I was wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Oops.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Researchers call this having intellectual humility. That means being open
to the idea that maybe, just maybe you might be
wrong sometimes, and that you have a mind that's open
enough that you're willing to learn from other people, not
acting like you know it all right, like you know
(09:30):
everything like every teenager does. They know everything right. So
even when you care deeply about a topic. And this
is interesting for me because you know, I'll be on
my TikTok or my Instagram and people will say that's
not true, and I'll be like, really, how how is
it not? Can you give me new data or new
research to understand that better? Right, because I want to
(09:53):
keep learning. I guess I have intellectual humility. Then the
study came from the journal called Personality. When it found
that couples wear one or both scored high in intellectual humility.
Intellectual humility able to say I'm wrong, tell me more,
had obviously more constructive responses during conflict, greater relationship satisfaction,
(10:17):
and a better emotional bond. They also perceived that it
was fairly easy to get along with their partner, and
they tended to have fewer arguments. Right. Good to know.
I want to remind you people who say or admit
that they're wrong sometimes are not weak. They're trustworthy. Research
(10:38):
shows that when you're open like this, you're going to
have better conflict resolution. As I mentioned, you're going to
trust each other more, and you're going to be happier
in your relationship because when you are being vulnerable and honest,
when you've made a mistake. It basically says, I care
more about us than being right. That my friends can
(11:01):
lead to lasting love. Okay, tip number two here we
go three two? What oh am I counting? I don't
need account in I can just tell you. Here is
tip number two, open a joint bank account. I was
horrified when I read this because Julio and I keep
our money separate. Yes, well, a study from investopedia. Are
(11:22):
they scientists? Are they financial planners? Invest Opedia. Their research
says couples who share a joint bank account report higher
satisfaction than those who don't. Their thinking is that when
you do have a joint bank account, it's going to
spark honest, consistent conversations about money. It's going to prevent
(11:44):
resentments from building because nobody wants to bring up what
did you buy? How much did that cost? Right now?
They did say that many successful couples adopt what's called
a hybrid model. That means they have their own separate
personal accounts, then they set up one in the middle
that's the relationship account or the household account, and there
(12:07):
so they each feel like they've got some autonomy on
either side, and they have this one in the middle.
That's a good idea, all right. Tip number three how
to have long lasting love. According to the research, find
your relationship rhythm. That means embrace the ups and downs.
So there's new research from Germany via Neuroscience News that
(12:30):
reveals that relationship satisfaction, of course naturally ebbs and flows.
You have good days, you have bad days, even within
one day. You have good moments, you have bad moments
right there. But if you're one of those people that
whenever you have a bad moment, you're thinking, should we
break up? Are we going to get a divorce? Is
this over? Here's the secret to weathering the down times
(12:53):
being emotionally responsive. It's responsive to your partner. And now
what this means is your partner comes home in a
really terrible mood they're barking at people. This means turning
towards them and understanding this is their rhythm right now,
asking if they need anything. Now, what they may need
is your presence. They may need your absence, no, I
(13:15):
want to be alone. They may need calming words, they
may need physical affection. They may not know what they need.
You could try a couple things and if being pushed
away step away. But this is called turning towards your
partner in the downtime. If you can respond with warmth
when the rhythm shifts down, you're gonna have a better relationship,
(13:40):
all right. The fourth one is something I was delighted
to read because Hulu and I do this all the time,
talk about the small stuff so that the two of
you can create a kind of universal meaning together, a
kind of knowing. You know, those couples they're out for
dinner with a by people and somebody says something, and
(14:04):
these two couples, this couple catches each other's eye with
a tiny little maybe grin at the corner of their mouth,
and they know they both have the same thought about
the meaning of what that other person said, and they
both know they're gonna have a conversation about it later,
maybe to laugh about it, I don't know, but they're
in sync with each other. So new findings from that
(14:25):
was published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found
that couples who actively co share their world views that
means all day long, if you say, you know what
happened today, right, and here's how I felt about it,
and they try to get on the same page. This
creates greater meaning in their relationship and much less uncertainty.
(14:46):
You know, I have said more recently than the beginning,
because Julia and I have been together, like I don't
know five years now that we finish each other's thoughts,
and you know when you're really overtired. I was driving
in the car the other day and I just to
find the word. I was trying to get this sentence out.
He literally finished my sentence and I was like, okay,
Like we are on the same page. But it's not
(15:07):
just about feeling close. It's about feeling that we're in
the world together and we see the world the same way.
It's like a shared lens that helps couples feel stable.
So the big take takeaways don't be afraid to admit
you're wrong. It's okay, and maybe good to try a
(15:28):
shared bank account every day. There's gonna be ups and downs.
Whether it get a rhythm with it and choose to
see the world together, it'll give your relationship more meaning.
All right, when we come back, I have a special
guest who is going to talk to us about something
terrifying for many parents, how to keep your kids safe,
(15:51):
especially boys in the gaming communities online. There are some
stuff going down that I didn't even know about. That's
when we come back. You're listening to the Doctor went
Well Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI
AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. I
told you I had a very special guest coming up,
and before I introduce him, I want you to understand
how important his work is. If you look at what
we call Generation Alpha. These are little kids aged five
(16:34):
to twelve. Did you know these kindergarteners A striking surprising
eighty three percent of them play video games at least
once a week. Now, then you get into the older
kids eight to twenty four, Jen Alpha and Z about
eighty percent are playing with friends weekly. In America, ninety
(16:56):
seven percent of boys play video games, little lower for girls. Right,
So what are kids doing when they are online? Are
these video games completely harmless? Are they completely safe? Let's
talk about it. My guest is Ron Curbs, the founder
and CEO of Ketas and he's here to tell us
(17:16):
how all parents can navigate these digital spaces for safety
with our kids. Ron, thanks so much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Thank you very much for having me. Wendy.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
First of all, tell me a little bit about Ketas
and what inspired you to create it.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
So, Kidas is actually a COVID company. We started a
company about five years ago and when basically the world stop,
everyone was at home, everyone started to play again. And
I played a lot growing up, and back then it
was already toxic. Then I got back to plane and
I was already in my thirties. I was like, how
come feel toxic? How come no one solvit? And my
(17:53):
background is in AI, so I knew it was possible
to solve and vote or those conversations and make sure
that keep our protective. Okay, it's none credited, that's credit.
So that's the story behind Kidas, and we started to
protect kids while they game, and since then we've been
doing it with one hundreds of thousands of players.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
So I did read somewhere that just in the first
quarter of this year, your data uncovered nearly three thousand
serious safety alerts in just the first three months. Here,
what was the most first of all common, but also
what was the most surprising or disturbing trend that you saw.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Yeah, so it sounds a lot, It sounds a lot
when we talk about three thousand, almost three thousand serious weeks.
But just to give you a context, we are software
protected kids and young gamers in more than fourteen million conversations.
So the ratio is still you know, you know, okay,
you know, it's still a small percentage of the conversation.
(18:55):
But when we're talking about Rick, we're talking about you know,
the most alarming things that are we're detected was location exposure.
So when kids talk with you know, people that they
haven't met in real life, some of them and shared real,
real time information about where they are, what is their address,
what is their parents' work schedules, are they at home
(19:17):
right now? And those are young kids, those are kids
who are eight nine tens, And that information could be
used by online creditors, could be used by pedophiles, to
be used even by cameras and to you know, use
it for their own purposes. And so that was by
you know, by far, the biggest thing that we've seen
in our data, and we've seen nearly fifteen one hundred
(19:40):
a capes of the location exposure, and just to give
you context. In most of the cases, those kids play with,
you know, someone they haven't met in real time. A
lot of the games have what it's called location they
voice chess. It means that you can talk not just
with your friends, you can talk with everyone who's near
(20:00):
you in the virtual world.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
This seems so unsafe for kids. I'm going to have
to admit something here. The last time I played any
kind of electronic or video game was in the nineteen
eighties and it was a bar and it was a
game called pac Man. Okay, that's my usage, that's my knowledge.
So a kid who could be five, six, seven, eight
nine years old puts on a headset with a microphone,
(20:23):
starts playing a game with other players, and then they're
talking in real life.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah. Yeah, So I think the term gaming is a
little bit misleading for what those kids are doing because
we're thinking about gaming, but honestly, it's almost like real
time events that is happening there and they're communicating is
like social media on story, they're communicating, and they're communicating
with hundreds of people while they're playing, and so they're
(20:52):
creating events together. They're creating shows together. They're not just playing,
they're creating multiplayer events and happening in real time. They're
basically creating real time events, basically replicating reality. Just you know,
a week ago and there was a big HOURI or
something that I posted about you know, keeps on road
(21:12):
blocks and basically creating ice brain on roadlooks, basically replicating
what is really happening in real life. So all of
the events are coming from real life into those games.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You know, this is so disturbing. It's like literally letting
strangers into your home and the parents might not even
be home, they might be at work. I know, first
of all, you work with artificial intelligence, How does it
distinguish between typical gaming banter and stuff that really crosses
a line that either might be disclosing personal information or
(21:49):
bullying that might cause psychological harm. How does the AI
figure out? Because look, I've heard guys talk to each other,
especially teenage boys. It ain't pretty the way they talk
to each other. How does the AI just english between
banter and bullying?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah? So, so first of all, I know there are
a lot of perments. They hear AI and they speaks out.
So it's not something that you know, communicates with your keys.
It's not a big brother, it's not that kind of technology. Basically,
what we e created and we brought expert to our team,
people who work in for thefully for law enforcements, for
(22:24):
national security, and we've built together. We identified what are
the top risks that are and you know, kids are
exposed to while playing. We identify sixty four and main
risks the kids are exposed to anything from shape speech, bullying, harassments, scams, onlinequidation,
and then we basically modeled how does the communication that
(22:46):
involved those risks have happened within the game. So we
built those scenarios into the game and then our algorithms
the machine behind it, we call it AI, but basically
it's machine behind the scenes. If I identified based on
the contact, based on the words, based on the age
of the of the participants, based on what is happening
(23:08):
within the game, if that's you know, typical gaming language
just a little bit, or it's actually a serious case
that should be considering flagged and stand to educators, spend
to parents. We work with schools and we will also
work with directly experience.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Okay, we have to take a break, but when we
come back, I want to talk about how these predators
often hide in plain sight and sadly one case, luckily
it was thwarted about a thirteen year old boy in
Michigan who was flagged for suicidal ideation. Let's talk about
this when we come back. My guest is Ron Curbs,
the founder and CEO of Kidas. You're listening to the
(23:44):
Dr Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty. We're
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the
Dr Wendywall Show on KFI AM six forty, Live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. My guest Ron Curbs, the founder
and CEO of Ketis, which is an artificial intelligence company
that hopefully is going to detect serious safety alerts from
(24:06):
your gaming kids. Ron, I heard the story about a
thirteen year old boy who the AI was able to
flag that he was actually thinking of taking his own life.
How quickly can a program like ketas detect and escalate
those kinds of red flags? I mean, are they texting
(24:26):
the parents what's happening here?
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Yeah? So those are some of the most serious cases
that we we detected KEDA and so First of all,
at the moment we understand we have high probability that
something is happening. In turn to get a text message
and email, they also have a dashboard that they can
look at. So the first moment that we pass a
(24:51):
specific level of certainty, they get a message. But in
order to understand it, imagine a kid. Imagine the kid,
and imagine the grow off talking with the kid. Whether
it's a psychology psychiatrist, you cannot identify just from one sentence,
just from one word. So in those cases, basically we
identify it from a few conversations. So a kid, a
(25:14):
young gamer talking with the new players over a certain
period of time about suicidal behavior about you know, hypings
that's hurting themselves. And only when we understood that it's
not part of the game, and when I say we,
I mean the algorithm, I mean it's pure, then we
identified and alert the parents. And those are the type
(25:35):
of things that no parents want to No one wants
to get those type of messages. So one of the
things that we do, and we work with psychologists and psychiatrists,
we have advisors and we have experts on our team.
We basically create recommendations to those situations, because if you're
on the other side, if you receive those type of alerts,
(25:58):
it's sur fine. You don't what to do in the
first place. So the first thing that the first thing
that you will do in our case is basically you're
going to get an article, personalized articles for you on
what to do next, how to communicate, what do you
need to do, what do you need to talk with
your kid about, and who do you need to call
(26:18):
and to deal with the situation.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Can we talk about something that I know every parent fears,
this idea that a predator posing as a child will
be online trying to find out where your kid is.
But the whole process takes a long time. We call
it grooming, right, And how does the algorithm understand first
(26:42):
of all, know that it's an adult versus a kid,
and how do they follow you know, they could be
just kids making friends and getting close to each other.
What patterns or behaviors does that system look for to
identify grooming behaviors by a predator?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yeah, so so grooming unfortunately still happens in the first
quarter of twenty twenty five hour system alone. And you
know we don't monitor all over the gaming conversations in
the world. Just in a case we identified flags and
alerted seventy five parents about situation involving dirty and mainly
(27:22):
those things happen through trust buildings, so it's not a
one time thing. They talk over a period of time,
they build trust, they play together, they help each other,
and they do certain things within the game to build trust.
And then they start with even the small gestures like hey,
can you send me a picture, but like, don't send
(27:44):
me a sexual picture, just send me a picture of
your elbow. Those time things and while you know, they
build truss then and they use this later on and
just extore them to be just more information. Hey, I'm
going to report your tell your parents the system photo
and that's sell me another photo and some one. And
(28:05):
in order to to detect those cases, one of the
things that you need to understand is age different between
the players. And you know, no online president will tell you, hey,
I'm for it, right and the other you.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Have a way to see how they're registered. If they're
registered as an adult in the game, I can't.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
They're pretend. Yeah, they're pretending to be kids. And the
worst thing about you know, the AI age. You know
before that you were communicating with someone and you know,
you could hear from their voice that they're you know, adults,
and in this age and time, they can be used
in a voice changer. Anyone can get a voice changer online.
It's pretty evey and present to be a kid. So
(28:44):
one of the things that you you know, well, of course,
if there is a different invoice, we can with you know,
if you can defend those type of cases. But the
smartest thing that you can do is based on the
type of words that they're using, based on their grammar,
yeah you can, and their education level, and you can
understand how old are they because gen alpha, they use
(29:06):
different type of slang words compared to someone who's you know, forty,
and they use type of different type of the sentence
structures and compared to someone who's older. And so that's
the way that you identify the age they snatch. And
then after that we have patterns that were identifying and
(29:26):
as I said, and trust building is one of them.
But trust building can also happen between you know, peers,
between spriends. So we have a few signals that once
we flagged, and once we identify a few of them,
then we can stay in fur that we're talking about
an online creditor clients a United.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It is terrifying for parents. Do you have any advice
for parents, you know, separate from depending on AI like kitas,
What can they be doing to teach their kids or
can they should they be gaming with their kids? Are
there ways that they can teach kids to protect themselves
in any way?
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yes? So, first of all, if you're parents listening, I
want you to understand that gaming, gaming is great. I
truly believe that gaming is you know, it's greatful kids.
It develops emotional skills, it developed and the eye coordination,
it developed a way to coordinate and work together a
team effort. So it has it has its benefits, but
(30:29):
it should be done in a stafeway and that's why
we credit kid us. But you know, more than that,
I think one of them the biggest gapps that parents
and kids have today is their ability of parents to
understand they keep gaming.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Exactly, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't have any idea what
they're doing with their head set on there.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, so they don't speak the language. So first of all,
and that's something that we're trying to do. You know,
when talking with parents is first of all, understand your
keeps gaming games or they claim what is the capabilities
of the game. Can they use voice chat in the game?
Can they use texture in the game? Is there a
gay quarantine the game? Can they buy virtual assets? What
(31:11):
are the reasons of the games? Can they talk only
with their friends or can they talk with anyone in
the visual world? So I think one of the first
steps that you know, every parent should be doing. Every
parent with kids gaming and that's basically almost everyone they
and it's understanding the game, play with them, bus with
them and sometimes you live in funnish fund Its fine
(31:35):
fun and you know you'll enjoy it. And once they
understand that, you know, you see them, you basically understand
what they're going through because gaming is a big part
of the world. And then they'll start sharing a little
bit more with you. They'll tell you about the new
level in the game, they tell you about the new
player leaders starting to play with and then once you
(31:58):
have those conversations, that's going to open the world for
you to understand what is going on and to teach them.
What's the safeway to do that With a lot of
the younger players, and they don't really distinguish between what
is private information that shouldn't be shared and what is
information that you could be shared.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Right, So there's a lot of teaching moments that have
to happen here with kids.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
That is the best advice. I'm so sorry we're running
out of time, Ron, but I think it's so important
that parents get in the gaming world with them so
that they have some level of understanding of what's going
on and teach their kids not to ever give up
their address or credit cards, et cetera. I really appreciate
this information so important. If they want to find out
more about ketis, where they go.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
Yeah, they go to get kida dot com, g E
T k I, d A S dot com.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Get ketas dot com. Ron Curbs, the founder and CEO
of Ketas, helping families navigate digital safety in spaces like
discord and aiming platforms. Thanks for the work that you
do and that that brings the Doctor Wendy Walls Show
to a close. I'm always here for you every Sunday
from seven to nine pm, usually weighing in about your relationships,
(33:12):
but your relationship with your kids is pretty darn important too.
If you'd like to follow me on my social media.
The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh. But I'll see
you next time here on KFI. You've been listening to
the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to
Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear us live on
(33:34):
KFI AM six forty from seven to nine pm on
Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app
Dr. Wendy Walsh on Demand News
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