March 29, 2026 • 30 mins
Anxiety
Lack of Interest
Lords Prayer meaning
Addiction
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to KFI A six on demand. Joe, Welcome
to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello, how can I help you?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Well? Got a life situation? Okay, it does concern God,
at least my relationship with God, because I've for the
last two years now, I've had this kind of lack
of interest funk that I'm going through that happened ever
since I had the first insomnia I've ever had in
my life. I had it for two and a half
(00:32):
months two years ago. Ever since then, I've just had
this general lack of interest that doesn't seem like my
regular personality. And as far as my God relationship, I've
prayed many times. I've I've heard through my research in
the Christianity years ago that nothing's impossible with God, that
the difference between God's power and my power is an
(00:55):
immeasurable It's so vast I would think it would take
basically nothing for God to be able to just in
a since snap, God's fingers staying I mean back to
regular and I can't figure out why that hasn't been
done yet.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Usually when that hasn't been done, it's because something is
still in progress of being learned. God isn't toying with
you or playing around. It's a matter of a few things,
one of which the human the physical nature of humanity,
(01:28):
and the biological machine that you are is complicated and
there's many things to it. So to get a clearer picture, first,
are you saying that you had about with insomnia two
years ago that lasted for two months or are you
still wrestling that.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I can't you can usually find it something on the
internet about anything. I'm not dealing with insomnia that got
solved with one or two different drugs from a local
und What I'm doing with is post insomnia, and there
is nothing on the internet I can I type in
post insomnia, life after in somnia, and I can't figure
out if what I'm going through is even normal or
(02:12):
if anybody's ever had it in their lives except I
have called a couple of psychiatrists and asked them, have
you dealt with in somnia? Have you dealt with the
funk of lack of it just comes after it? And
at least a few of them have said they have,
So if they're telling the truth, then other people have
gone through this.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
So you're saying that you have kind of a lack
of zest for life.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Well, people that knew me back then that know me
now say I'm definitely sounding better and using better words,
you know, like I've evolved to being more of whatever
I am. But I know I'm just not the same
the person before the day that it all happened. That
person is not what I am right now.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Okay, Well there's a couple of things and again.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
And I know why it happened.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Basically, you know why the insomnia happened, right What was
going Okay, what was going on?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I haven't called a friend that day and said something
feels really weird inside. So the I was trying to
be a personal trainer for many years. Clients come, clients go.
A life situation came up such that I had no
clients at a point two years ago, and I said,
I have to run an AD to get some And
I figured I'd have an AD for about four months
because we wanted out there so people can see it
(03:19):
coming away from the place where I ran the AD.
I only ended up with a month and a half
for however, our meeting went there and what they'd advised
me to do for the best clients whatever. So after
a month and a half. So I was riding my
bicycle home thinking, what if nobody sees the AD in
a month and a half, because I thought I was
gonna have four months. What am I going to do then?
Is it a whole career change? I mean, ad'll be gone.
(03:41):
And that's when I got home and called a friend
up and said, something feels really weird inside of me.
And that's the night insomnia started. And I had had
concerns over money over the last twenty years, so thinking
about money problems trying to how to solve them wasn't.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
New to me.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
But that night, unless I took the drugs I eventually
got from the doctor, I could never get any sleep
at all. I'd get right to the edge of falling
asleep and there would be like this wall there and
I just couldn't sleep. But now so then I got
a client a few days later off the AD so great,
and that gave me most of the money I needed,
but I couldn't get rid of insomnia. And I was thinking,
(04:17):
you got to get rid of it. Now, you have
to look healthy. This is a person you're training. And
I at times about a month later, still at the insomnia,
had to hold on to the gym, the home gym.
This person had even to keep standing up to be
able to train them, which is kind of a joking
and of itself, because here I was deteriorating as I
was supposed to teach health.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Well. Although this is certainly not a show that deals
with medicine, it's not the focus. I'm not a doctor, right.
I looked at the morality of things, and we use
scripture to take a look at the world and to
see it through that lens. Now but in your circumstance,
So that was my thing.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Is the question with the whole God. I know it's
not about medicine, but it's just like it's the patients
I've had to try to have over this time to
just in a sense of wait for this to get gone.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Were you patient before?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
I would say I was considered to be very intelligent,
and I.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Guess not about intelligence. Were you patient before? To some
of the markers that you've given me our point to anxiety?
The marker about the four months now to one and
a half months. There's certain things that you've said that
point to anxiety. Would you have considered yourself a patience person?
(05:35):
Or have people pointed out that you're not always patient.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I'm very quick to think, quick to talk, And people
would say anyway. Some would say he's patient, other ones
would say he needs things done now. And so that'd
be a hard question to answer.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Okay, in the God's scheme of things, there's a couple
of things going on. You've changed the chemistry of your
body in a.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Couple of ways that possibly, I mean much, I would
take that happened absolutely still the same.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It changed, but it doesn't mean that it won't be.
It changed. The day you had what sounds like panic,
what sounds like intense anxiety, the day that you did that,
your chemicals change. I mean, it's just the way things
work so much so that you knew it. You felt it.
Something slipped away and you felt like, hey, the stability
(06:24):
the ground beneath me does not feel solid. And you
mentioned that to a friend or family member whoever you
called that day, so you knew that something had changed. Now,
the doctors to balance that out, because it was prolonged,
gave you new chemicals to take away the symptom of that,
(06:46):
which is to put you to sleep essentially and let
you relax. And medicine is miraculous in many ways and
could do many things. And doctors depending on who you
went to see. Did you go see a general practitioner
or your general doctor? And they prescribed the sleep medicine.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
It's general. They give you an antidepressant because I think
depression insomnia related to each other, and so I gave
me that, and then something very strong called tamazapam that
suppose that you can't stay on very long. It's supposed
to knock you out for eight hours, and it did
nothing the first night. I could eventually get two hours
out of it. So when I went back after a
(07:27):
week and a half, he goes, well, take one and then
after two hours later you wake up, take another one.
So I considered myself possibly on a high dose of
it because I was back to backing it. But I
finally got to sleep at least four to five hours
a night, so I felt a little secure in my pattern.
And then after a month and a half, he says,
we got to get you off of this. It's dangerous,
and he used something else to get me off of that,
(07:49):
and eventually that thing worked, and then I got off
of HIT and the whole thing was over. I was
hoping but then this lack of interest thing has been
hanging out for the life two years.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Okay, so again I'm thinking.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Maybe even the stuff I use to get off of
it zap my head a little bit and it takes
a while for it to come back.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Indeed, you said that you have or have not visited
a psychiatrist.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
That's the final thing. My mother and I are very
tired of this process. And I'm now I've called so
many of them. Some of them want to get on
the phone. They are four or five six hundred for
the first hour and a half assessment and then three
hundred hour after that. So it's pretty pricey. But if
they could guarantee it, it'd be worth it.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Well, there's no guarantees, but I will tell you this
from what you've said, and it's very reasonable to say
that you have altered things. And let's look at it
from your strength. Right, as a trainer, there are people
that have done horrible things to their body, the foods
they eat, the lack of exercise, and your job is
(08:57):
to reverse that and get them into new goods patterns, right,
not to give them a diet pill, not to just
say okay, here's a quick fix. It's a lifestyle change
in a.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Process and an easy to understand one. And if I
had an ankle injury or I file was ob so
this is that I do rehabs, I would be able
to work on something. This thing, it's like it's my brain.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And I'm you're out of yeah, you're out of your strength?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
How I can work? I stare at my brain from
the lies closed, thinking, if you're so bright, if you're
so intelligent, how do you not figure out how to
balance out your own chemicals?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
You know?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Well? Sometimes though, and this is not to downplay general
practitioner doctors. They're wonderful and they do amazing things. But
sometimes if you're dealing with they're just dealing with those symptoms.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So I think whether than I said, a psychiatrist has
to know more about brain chemicals and a local MD.
And that's based only my little hope and dream that
once I would actually be there talking with one, hopefully
they'd go, oh no, I've seen that many times.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Try this and it may or may not be that quick.
To be honest with you, Joe, but I will tell
you this that the little time that we spent together,
I would say that it is a wonderful choice to
find out and see if the psychiatrist has different insight
and maybe can wean you off of some of these
things that sound like they've leveled you out, that you
have no highs and no lows. You kind of are
(10:23):
in the middle, just your tonality. On the air. We
speak to a lot of people, however, I will say,
on the God side of things, the spiritual side of things,
you do have an issue with patience. I can hear
it in your voice. I can hear it in your voice,
and I can hear it even pushing through the medication.
And I understand that it's been a long time that
(10:45):
you've been wrestling with this and that that's going to
be a natural part of that. But I can hear that.
So I offer you this that whenever God allows you
to go through a trial and you're going through it
and there's something about it that just doesn't seem right,
you're not hearing or you're not you're not grasping that
one thing that He's trying to get to you. And
I think patience is going to be a very powerful
(11:06):
part of that. So I want you to kind of
meditate to think on that. I'd love for you to
open up scripture and maybe even if it's just going
through proverbs and just reading little bits and pieces, to
start under prayer and see what God has to say.
Really be there, not just hey, God, help me get
me out of this. Just what do you want me
to see? What am I missing? And I think that
(11:28):
that will have, along with these other decisions, will have
a powerful, powerful change in your life. You know, it's interesting.
There's so many things that have great importance in life,
and people kind of push them aside and get focused
(11:48):
on the things that are right in front of them only.
But there's a great, vast importance that God has for you.
And I know it's not in vogue to have faith really,
at least not in faith in God. People have put
them their faith into all kinds of other things, sadly,
(12:10):
and not something that the Bible is ignorant of. But
people are starting to put their faith into themselves. And
I know, on the surface you hear that and you think, well,
that's good. That means people have self confidence and self esteem.
It's not about that. It's that if you're only reliant
(12:32):
on yourself for the things of God, for the spiritual things,
then you are your own God. And I assure you,
if you are your own God, then you're going to
let yourself down.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
On the flip side of that, there are those that
have faith that look towards God during times of pain,
times of frustration, trials and the like and say, why
God are you taking me through this? Well, the Bible's
very clear you will go through trials, you will experience
tough times. Faith Christianity doesn't remove those tough times from
(13:11):
your life. It helps you get through them and hopefully
learn something through them. When you are continually going through
the process of a trial and it seems like it's
going on and going on forever, it is very easy
(13:32):
to say God, why me. But usually when people are
saying that, the expectation is to jar God and have
God go oh my gosh, yeah, I didn't mean for
you to go through this, I apologize and clear it away,
rather than saying God, why me? What do you have planned?
(13:56):
Why do you need me to learn? What do you
want me to see? What do you want me to
know that I don't now? And coming from the trial
from that mindset will set you up to receive and
to understand better than just kicking the can and being frustrated.
(14:18):
But I assure you if you're in that trial, there
is something something to be learned.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Ed.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Thank you for taking my prayer, I call. I'm almost
embarrassed to ask this question.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Oh, don't be.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
It's regarding the Lord's prayer, which is so beautiful. I
don't know why I didn't ask this question earlier. The
meaning of that I will be done on earth as
it is in have and I if you would explain
the meaning of that.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Sure, the prayer is often quoted and not always understood
in its fullness. So I'm glad that you called ad.
There's there's so much to it, and it's quite beautiful
as you go through. Let's say, go through it to Matthew.
When you go through the prayer and you listen to
the specifics of it, our father who are in heaven, Hello,
(15:15):
would be thy name, thy kingdom Come, They will be
done on earth as it is in heaven. That really
the parts of the prayer are important because if you
read it, I say, prayer, pray like this. I'm not
saying just recite this prayer. And it's not that it's
bad to recite the prayer. But I'm saying pray like this,
(15:36):
and the language there is very important because really I'm
giving a template for prayer, explaining the different the different
things that go into a prayer that make it important
and beneficial. So in this case, you have the beginning,
it says, pray, then this way, our Father, where art
(15:57):
in heaven. That's acknowledging who God is and where God is,
that he's on his throne, and that he's above all things.
Hallowed be thy name, that God is holy. Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Thy Kingdom Come is validating the promise of God that
God will bring heaven, that God will usher in those
(16:17):
that believe into heaven. So that Kingdom Come is acknowledging
that promise with the Covenant of God and that He
will fulfill that promise. Thy Will be done on earth
as it is in heaven. This is acknowledging the fact
that God's will being done is at the center of
all of this, and that in heaven it's already done
because the angels that rebelled are gone. So everyone in
(16:40):
heaven is applying the will of God. So you're asking
that that that has taken place in heaven will take
place on earth. Please allow people to see your will
to apply your will into their lives. So that is
part of the petition. The prayer there give us this
day our daily bread is talking about sustenance and having
(17:01):
that balance in life and taking in what you need,
not what you want. Forgive us our debts, as we
also forgive our debtors. You know, allow please forgive us
for the things we do, but allow us the grace
to forgive others. Lead us not to temptation. Another verse
that confuses people, but deliver us from evil. This is
(17:23):
not God leading you into temptation and you saying, hey,
please don't do that. Stop leading me to temptation. The
proper wording is lead us away from temptation and deliver
us from evil. So and then it goes on, as
some people will add, for Thine is the kingdom, the power,
and the glory forever. I mean, but that's very powerful
(17:44):
when you go through that and you see that those
different parts are about the different parts of prayer that
you should have in your prayers every day that will
help you to connect with God. So excellent question I
appreciate that. Ed James, Welcome to the Jesus Christia.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yes, I'm calling regarding some problems that I have. I'm
born again Christian and thought I could take on an
industry that I just had no business taking taking on,
and I need to see if I can get back
in the in the God's flock, trying to try not
to be so shameful of what I've done in the industry.
(18:26):
This particular industry.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Was panography, okay, And was there a pattern that you saw?
Were you just curious at first?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And then uh, yeah, I was curious at first, kind
of grew up in the area that it seemed like
it was not a bad thing to do. And then
I became saved and I wanted to I wanted to
get rid of it because I felt then after being
saved that it was wrong. And maybe there's a lot
(18:55):
of people that had fell into that and maybe that's
why they didn't want to turn to God. I'm not
for sure, but I thought I could take it on,
and I did when I did go through the motions
of trying to see how I can do that with petitions,
moratoriums and things of that nature, and then I just
kind of fell back into it. I confess that, and
(19:16):
then the reason that I've kind of fail back is.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
The shame.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But also you're you're also just labeled so much and
it's just kind of hard.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
So you mean by people that find out or by
people in the church.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Sure right, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
More people in the church are struggling with it than
you may think. So that kind of judgment usually comes
with the concept of people trying to make themselves better
than you. So I wouldn't worry about that. Just now
worry about yourself and your connection with God. That's okay,
that's key. And as far as the battle within, is
this something you do multiple times a day, Oh.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I'm, I'm it's it's more under the control now, I
just I just struggled with just going back to church.
That's that's more or less it. And and we and
and not wanting to be dishonest about the real the
relevation of that, but to be honest about it and
how I go about or should I even go about
being revealing that because when you do, then that's the
(20:22):
thinger pointing starts.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Well, if it's something that you are in control of
through prayer and through changing lifestyle, things doing. There's many
things that can be done. What you can put adult
I know it seems silly, but you can put uh restrictions. Yeah,
do things like that just to remind you, to give
you more hurdles to jump over.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And like I said, I've been doing that and I'm
controlling it. Sure, go ahead, sir.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I'm sorry, no, And I just don't want you to
get The enemy is very good at taking humanity and
the things that come with humanity, the sin nature of
man and these types of things, and really trying to
put so much shame on top of it that you
won't show your face in a church, or you won't
show your face around the people of God. So that
(21:12):
the thing that is human and frustrating and part of
your walk and really part of you getting closer with
God by removing things like pornography from your life. But
the enemy, even in that victory, wants you to feel shame.
And you can't let the enemy get that foothold in
(21:32):
your life because the pornography is bad enough, because that's
something that gets a foothold that makes you feel bad
about yourself. It's a very limited pleasure time. All of
these things is what builds the addiction there. But now
when you are working or pushing it out of your life,
the enemy loves to go. You're filthy. You should feel
nothing but shame. God doesn't even want you in his house.
(21:55):
The people of God, they don't love you, they don't
care about you, They don't want you there because that
still serves his purpose. His entire purpose is to keep
you from God. And that is worse than any pornography
you can look at. That is the true vulgarity in
life and the spiritual life, is the enemy lying in
(22:16):
your ear day in and day out that you're not
worthy of God, when God himself said you are so
worthy that I will send my son to die on
the cross and resurrect three days later so that you
shall be saved. And to allow the devil to speak
to you like that is to reject that very gift
of grace. And you need to push through it, and
(22:36):
you really need it. Doesn't mean you need to wear
a scarlet letter on your jacket or shirt. You need
to tell everybody every time you walk into a church.
It's not about that. And don't feel that. I know
I appreciate the fact that you want to be honest.
But even at church, you don't meet everybody and shake
hands and go I'm an alcoholic. Oh well I love pornography.
(22:57):
Oh I cheated on my wife. I can't have a relationship. Now,
that's not how you greet everybody. Because humans are humans,
and even believers wrestle with those things and are fearful
of them and will judge you differently until they get
to know you. So if it as you get to
know somebody or your pastor or these types of things,
(23:18):
and if it comes up and it's appropriate, absolutely, it's
not that you're trying to hide it or stuff it down.
It's just not a good thing to lead with.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
And that's what I did. I lead with it.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yeah, it's a tough one, brother, because they they there's
an automatic belief to that, and even though it could
be somebody who themselves are struggling with it, they'll still
want to judge you.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I revealed it the under the guise of that it
would be a comp that I did it confidentially, and
that I tell you, that's what a portrayal that was.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Well, humans are humans, and there you will It is
a betrayal. Absolutely, this someone in leadership, Yes, yeah, that's
that's gross, but it is, but that's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
And I learned, and like I say, you know, I
have such a strong relationship and I know I can
rebuild that and I know that what my gift is,
I'm an encourager and I can encourage people. I really
love encouraging people, and I love your show. I just
took me a little while to get to you. And
I appreciate your answers and they are rot on the nose,
(24:30):
So thank you so much. In anybody else that's listening
that had that problem, Jesus loves you, man, and you
can go to him, and I appreciate your help.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Brother.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know what happens quite a bit, James, and I
want you to really think about this, is that people
that have the gift of certain things, like you say, encouragement,
almost never ever impart that gift onto themselves. And you
have to allow yourself to hear those very same words
that you've given others time and time again, those words
of encouragement and kindness and acceptance, and you need to
(25:03):
allow yourself to have them as well. Guard yourself until
you feel safe. Not every church, sadly is safe. Not
every person in a church is safe, even though there
will be those that are so guard yourself as you're
opening up and you're learning about a church. I'm sorry
that you'd open up to somebody and you'd say, hey,
(25:23):
this is what I'm wrestling with and they did not
keep that in confidence or they treated you different because
of it. That really is a horrible sin unto itself.
But understand that you are coming out from underneath being
a slave to this. Two Peter two nineteen says that
for whatever overcomes a person to that, he is enslaved.
(25:46):
And if there's something that overcomes you, and in this
case it's pornography and that sensation of orgasm, whatever it
is building those things up, or the release that comes
with it, those types of things can be very powerful,
and I want you to work through them obviously as
you're doing. But I don't want you to feel the
shame of the enemy that whispers in your ear, because
(26:08):
all that does is trying to keep you from God,
and you're not going to fall for that. And I
don't want you to fall for that. The enemy hates you,
and the enemy hates me, and the enemy wants nothing
more than to keep us away from each other, because
(26:30):
in that bond, in that relationship, there is strength, strength
to truly overcome, strength to guard yourself against the ways
of the enemy, which are ultimately death, not physical death necessarily,
but spiritual death. And the enemy has a way of
(26:54):
finding those soft spots in your life, poking at you
day in and day out, seeing how you respond. And
when the enemy finds what you respond to, then he pounces.
And when the enemy sees something in your life, whether
(27:15):
it be pornography or whatever it might be, that is
ruling it something that you're struggling with, knowing that you
care enough to confess it and to strengthen yourself and
to remove it from your life. These addictions that pull
you down, that the world, the very hurdles that the
(27:39):
enemy has put in front of you, or bad enough.
But the moment you get strength to push them aside,
the moment you get strength to say, I won't let
this put me in bondage anymore, I won't let this
control me. I will not be enslaved. And you push
past them and you start to better yourself. Then the
(28:00):
enemy switches gears and he just slithers up next to
you and gets in your ear and says, Wow, that
sure was a pretty big hurdle. You probably aren't even
over it yet. And it doesn't really matter, because even
(28:25):
if you're over it, even if you remove it from
your life, you've got the stink of that, the scars
from that, all over your body, and that's all anyone
can see. And that is so putrid to the nostrils
of God. He will turn himself from you because of
(28:48):
what you've done. But the enemy is a liar, and
the enemy plays on your insecurities. The enemy plays on
the things that you worry about, that you are constantly
thinking of, because all he needs is just to push
(29:11):
it off a little bit each day. The less time
you spend with God, the less time you search for God,
the less time you spend praying, talking, connecting with God,
is time that He has you in a place of vulnerability.
He has you in a place where you're softened to Him,
(29:36):
even when it's a place of strength. In one arena,
you're getting better, you're strengthening yourself, you're trying to purify
yourself through God. The enemy uses that transition to make
you feel so bad about yourself, to make you feel
so ugly that you'll turn yourself away from God, but
(29:59):
he'll make you believe Eve that it's God turning himself
from you, But I assure you it's not. My arms
are always open and I'm facing right at you, wanting
nothing more than you to run right into them.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Kf I am six forty on demand
You're listening to KFI A six on demand. Joe, Welcome
to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello, how can I help you?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Well? Got a life situation? Okay, it does concern God,
at least my relationship with God, because I've for the
last two years now, I've had this kind of lack
of interest funk that I'm going through that happened ever
since I had the first insomnia I've ever had in
my life. I had it for two and a half
(00:32):
months two years ago. Ever since then, I've just had
this general lack of interest that doesn't seem like my
regular personality. And as far as my God relationship, I've
prayed many times. I've I've heard through my research in
the Christianity years ago that nothing's impossible with God, that
the difference between God's power and my power is an
(00:55):
immeasurable It's so vast I would think it would take
basically nothing for God to be able to just in
a since snap, God's fingers staying I mean back to
regular and I can't figure out why that hasn't been
done yet.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Usually when that hasn't been done, it's because something is
still in progress of being learned. God isn't toying with
you or playing around. It's a matter of a few things,
one of which the human the physical nature of humanity,
(01:28):
and the biological machine that you are is complicated and
there's many things to it. So to get a clearer picture, first,
are you saying that you had about with insomnia two
years ago that lasted for two months or are you
still wrestling that.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I can't you can usually find it something on the
internet about anything. I'm not dealing with insomnia that got
solved with one or two different drugs from a local
und What I'm doing with is post insomnia, and there
is nothing on the internet I can I type in
post insomnia, life after in somnia, and I can't figure
out if what I'm going through is even normal or
(02:12):
if anybody's ever had it in their lives except I
have called a couple of psychiatrists and asked them, have
you dealt with in somnia? Have you dealt with the
funk of lack of it just comes after it? And
at least a few of them have said they have,
So if they're telling the truth, then other people have
gone through this.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
So you're saying that you have kind of a lack
of zest for life.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Well, people that knew me back then that know me
now say I'm definitely sounding better and using better words,
you know, like I've evolved to being more of whatever
I am. But I know I'm just not the same
the person before the day that it all happened. That
person is not what I am right now.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Okay, Well there's a couple of things and again.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
And I know why it happened.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Basically, you know why the insomnia happened, right What was
going Okay, what was going on?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I haven't called a friend that day and said something
feels really weird inside. So the I was trying to
be a personal trainer for many years. Clients come, clients go.
A life situation came up such that I had no
clients at a point two years ago, and I said,
I have to run an AD to get some And
I figured I'd have an AD for about four months
because we wanted out there so people can see it
(03:19):
coming away from the place where I ran the AD.
I only ended up with a month and a half
for however, our meeting went there and what they'd advised
me to do for the best clients whatever. So after
a month and a half. So I was riding my
bicycle home thinking, what if nobody sees the AD in
a month and a half, because I thought I was
gonna have four months. What am I going to do then?
Is it a whole career change? I mean, ad'll be gone.
(03:41):
And that's when I got home and called a friend
up and said, something feels really weird inside of me.
And that's the night insomnia started. And I had had
concerns over money over the last twenty years, so thinking
about money problems trying to how to solve them wasn't.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
New to me.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
But that night, unless I took the drugs I eventually
got from the doctor, I could never get any sleep
at all. I'd get right to the edge of falling
asleep and there would be like this wall there and
I just couldn't sleep. But now so then I got
a client a few days later off the AD so great,
and that gave me most of the money I needed,
but I couldn't get rid of insomnia. And I was thinking,
(04:17):
you got to get rid of it. Now, you have
to look healthy. This is a person you're training. And
I at times about a month later, still at the insomnia,
had to hold on to the gym, the home gym.
This person had even to keep standing up to be
able to train them, which is kind of a joking
and of itself, because here I was deteriorating as I
was supposed to teach health.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Well. Although this is certainly not a show that deals
with medicine, it's not the focus. I'm not a doctor, right.
I looked at the morality of things, and we use
scripture to take a look at the world and to
see it through that lens. Now but in your circumstance,
So that was my thing.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Is the question with the whole God. I know it's
not about medicine, but it's just like it's the patients
I've had to try to have over this time to
just in a sense of wait for this to get gone.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Were you patient before?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
I would say I was considered to be very intelligent,
and I.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Guess not about intelligence. Were you patient before? To some
of the markers that you've given me our point to anxiety?
The marker about the four months now to one and
a half months. There's certain things that you've said that
point to anxiety. Would you have considered yourself a patience person?
(05:35):
Or have people pointed out that you're not always patient.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I'm very quick to think, quick to talk, And people
would say anyway. Some would say he's patient, other ones
would say he needs things done now. And so that'd
be a hard question to answer.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Okay, in the God's scheme of things, there's a couple
of things going on. You've changed the chemistry of your
body in a.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Couple of ways that possibly, I mean much, I would
take that happened absolutely still the same.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It changed, but it doesn't mean that it won't be.
It changed. The day you had what sounds like panic,
what sounds like intense anxiety, the day that you did that,
your chemicals change. I mean, it's just the way things
work so much so that you knew it. You felt it.
Something slipped away and you felt like, hey, the stability
(06:24):
the ground beneath me does not feel solid. And you
mentioned that to a friend or family member whoever you
called that day, so you knew that something had changed. Now,
the doctors to balance that out, because it was prolonged,
gave you new chemicals to take away the symptom of that,
(06:46):
which is to put you to sleep essentially and let
you relax. And medicine is miraculous in many ways and
could do many things. And doctors depending on who you
went to see. Did you go see a general practitioner
or your general doctor? And they prescribed the sleep medicine.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
It's general. They give you an antidepressant because I think
depression insomnia related to each other, and so I gave
me that, and then something very strong called tamazapam that
suppose that you can't stay on very long. It's supposed
to knock you out for eight hours, and it did
nothing the first night. I could eventually get two hours
out of it. So when I went back after a
(07:27):
week and a half, he goes, well, take one and then
after two hours later you wake up, take another one.
So I considered myself possibly on a high dose of
it because I was back to backing it. But I
finally got to sleep at least four to five hours
a night, so I felt a little secure in my pattern.
And then after a month and a half, he says,
we got to get you off of this. It's dangerous,
and he used something else to get me off of that,
(07:49):
and eventually that thing worked, and then I got off
of HIT and the whole thing was over. I was
hoping but then this lack of interest thing has been
hanging out for the life two years.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Okay, so again I'm thinking.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Maybe even the stuff I use to get off of
it zap my head a little bit and it takes
a while for it to come back.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Indeed, you said that you have or have not visited
a psychiatrist.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
That's the final thing. My mother and I are very
tired of this process. And I'm now I've called so
many of them. Some of them want to get on
the phone. They are four or five six hundred for
the first hour and a half assessment and then three
hundred hour after that. So it's pretty pricey. But if
they could guarantee it, it'd be worth it.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Well, there's no guarantees, but I will tell you this
from what you've said, and it's very reasonable to say
that you have altered things. And let's look at it
from your strength. Right, as a trainer, there are people
that have done horrible things to their body, the foods
they eat, the lack of exercise, and your job is
(08:57):
to reverse that and get them into new goods patterns, right,
not to give them a diet pill, not to just
say okay, here's a quick fix. It's a lifestyle change
in a.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Process and an easy to understand one. And if I
had an ankle injury or I file was ob so
this is that I do rehabs, I would be able
to work on something. This thing, it's like it's my brain.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And I'm you're out of yeah, you're out of your strength?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
How I can work? I stare at my brain from
the lies closed, thinking, if you're so bright, if you're
so intelligent, how do you not figure out how to
balance out your own chemicals?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
You know?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Well? Sometimes though, and this is not to downplay general
practitioner doctors. They're wonderful and they do amazing things. But
sometimes if you're dealing with they're just dealing with those symptoms.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So I think whether than I said, a psychiatrist has
to know more about brain chemicals and a local MD.
And that's based only my little hope and dream that
once I would actually be there talking with one, hopefully
they'd go, oh no, I've seen that many times.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Try this and it may or may not be that quick.
To be honest with you, Joe, but I will tell
you this that the little time that we spent together,
I would say that it is a wonderful choice to
find out and see if the psychiatrist has different insight
and maybe can wean you off of some of these
things that sound like they've leveled you out, that you
have no highs and no lows. You kind of are
(10:23):
in the middle, just your tonality. On the air. We
speak to a lot of people, however, I will say,
on the God side of things, the spiritual side of things,
you do have an issue with patience. I can hear
it in your voice. I can hear it in your voice,
and I can hear it even pushing through the medication.
And I understand that it's been a long time that
(10:45):
you've been wrestling with this and that that's going to
be a natural part of that. But I can hear that.
So I offer you this that whenever God allows you
to go through a trial and you're going through it
and there's something about it that just doesn't seem right,
you're not hearing or you're not you're not grasping that
one thing that He's trying to get to you. And
I think patience is going to be a very powerful
(11:06):
part of that. So I want you to kind of
meditate to think on that. I'd love for you to
open up scripture and maybe even if it's just going
through proverbs and just reading little bits and pieces, to
start under prayer and see what God has to say.
Really be there, not just hey, God, help me get
me out of this. Just what do you want me
to see? What am I missing? And I think that
(11:28):
that will have, along with these other decisions, will have
a powerful, powerful change in your life. You know, it's interesting.
There's so many things that have great importance in life,
and people kind of push them aside and get focused
(11:48):
on the things that are right in front of them only.
But there's a great, vast importance that God has for you.
And I know it's not in vogue to have faith really,
at least not in faith in God. People have put
them their faith into all kinds of other things, sadly,
(12:10):
and not something that the Bible is ignorant of. But
people are starting to put their faith into themselves. And
I know, on the surface you hear that and you think, well,
that's good. That means people have self confidence and self esteem.
It's not about that. It's that if you're only reliant
(12:32):
on yourself for the things of God, for the spiritual things,
then you are your own God. And I assure you,
if you are your own God, then you're going to
let yourself down.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
On the flip side of that, there are those that
have faith that look towards God during times of pain,
times of frustration, trials and the like and say, why
God are you taking me through this? Well, the Bible's
very clear you will go through trials, you will experience
tough times. Faith Christianity doesn't remove those tough times from
(13:11):
your life. It helps you get through them and hopefully
learn something through them. When you are continually going through
the process of a trial and it seems like it's
going on and going on forever, it is very easy
(13:32):
to say God, why me. But usually when people are
saying that, the expectation is to jar God and have
God go oh my gosh, yeah, I didn't mean for
you to go through this, I apologize and clear it away,
rather than saying God, why me? What do you have planned?
(13:56):
Why do you need me to learn? What do you
want me to see? What do you want me to
know that I don't now? And coming from the trial
from that mindset will set you up to receive and
to understand better than just kicking the can and being frustrated.
(14:18):
But I assure you if you're in that trial, there
is something something to be learned.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Ed.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Thank you for taking my prayer, I call. I'm almost
embarrassed to ask this question.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Oh, don't be.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
It's regarding the Lord's prayer, which is so beautiful. I
don't know why I didn't ask this question earlier. The
meaning of that I will be done on earth as
it is in have and I if you would explain
the meaning of that.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Sure, the prayer is often quoted and not always understood
in its fullness. So I'm glad that you called ad.
There's there's so much to it, and it's quite beautiful
as you go through. Let's say, go through it to Matthew.
When you go through the prayer and you listen to
the specifics of it, our father who are in heaven, Hello,
(15:15):
would be thy name, thy kingdom Come, They will be
done on earth as it is in heaven. That really
the parts of the prayer are important because if you
read it, I say, prayer, pray like this. I'm not
saying just recite this prayer. And it's not that it's
bad to recite the prayer. But I'm saying pray like this,
(15:36):
and the language there is very important because really I'm
giving a template for prayer, explaining the different the different
things that go into a prayer that make it important
and beneficial. So in this case, you have the beginning,
it says, pray, then this way, our Father, where art
(15:57):
in heaven. That's acknowledging who God is and where God is,
that he's on his throne, and that he's above all things.
Hallowed be thy name, that God is holy. Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Thy Kingdom Come is validating the promise of God that
God will bring heaven, that God will usher in those
(16:17):
that believe into heaven. So that Kingdom Come is acknowledging
that promise with the Covenant of God and that He
will fulfill that promise. Thy Will be done on earth
as it is in heaven. This is acknowledging the fact
that God's will being done is at the center of
all of this, and that in heaven it's already done
because the angels that rebelled are gone. So everyone in
(16:40):
heaven is applying the will of God. So you're asking
that that that has taken place in heaven will take
place on earth. Please allow people to see your will
to apply your will into their lives. So that is
part of the petition. The prayer there give us this
day our daily bread is talking about sustenance and having
(17:01):
that balance in life and taking in what you need,
not what you want. Forgive us our debts, as we
also forgive our debtors. You know, allow please forgive us
for the things we do, but allow us the grace
to forgive others. Lead us not to temptation. Another verse
that confuses people, but deliver us from evil. This is
(17:23):
not God leading you into temptation and you saying, hey,
please don't do that. Stop leading me to temptation. The
proper wording is lead us away from temptation and deliver
us from evil. So and then it goes on, as
some people will add, for Thine is the kingdom, the power,
and the glory forever. I mean, but that's very powerful
(17:44):
when you go through that and you see that those
different parts are about the different parts of prayer that
you should have in your prayers every day that will
help you to connect with God. So excellent question I
appreciate that. Ed James, Welcome to the Jesus Christia.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yes, I'm calling regarding some problems that I have. I'm
born again Christian and thought I could take on an
industry that I just had no business taking taking on,
and I need to see if I can get back
in the in the God's flock, trying to try not
to be so shameful of what I've done in the industry.
(18:26):
This particular industry.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Was panography, okay, And was there a pattern that you saw?
Were you just curious at first?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And then uh, yeah, I was curious at first, kind
of grew up in the area that it seemed like
it was not a bad thing to do. And then
I became saved and I wanted to I wanted to
get rid of it because I felt then after being
saved that it was wrong. And maybe there's a lot
(18:55):
of people that had fell into that and maybe that's
why they didn't want to turn to God. I'm not
for sure, but I thought I could take it on,
and I did when I did go through the motions
of trying to see how I can do that with petitions,
moratoriums and things of that nature, and then I just
kind of fell back into it. I confess that, and
(19:16):
then the reason that I've kind of fail back is.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
The shame.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But also you're you're also just labeled so much and
it's just kind of hard.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
So you mean by people that find out or by
people in the church.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Sure right, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
More people in the church are struggling with it than
you may think. So that kind of judgment usually comes
with the concept of people trying to make themselves better
than you. So I wouldn't worry about that. Just now
worry about yourself and your connection with God. That's okay,
that's key. And as far as the battle within, is
this something you do multiple times a day, Oh.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I'm, I'm it's it's more under the control now, I
just I just struggled with just going back to church.
That's that's more or less it. And and we and
and not wanting to be dishonest about the real the
relevation of that, but to be honest about it and
how I go about or should I even go about
being revealing that because when you do, then that's the
(20:22):
thinger pointing starts.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Well, if it's something that you are in control of
through prayer and through changing lifestyle, things doing. There's many
things that can be done. What you can put adult
I know it seems silly, but you can put uh restrictions. Yeah,
do things like that just to remind you, to give
you more hurdles to jump over.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And like I said, I've been doing that and I'm
controlling it. Sure, go ahead, sir.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I'm sorry, no, And I just don't want you to
get The enemy is very good at taking humanity and
the things that come with humanity, the sin nature of
man and these types of things, and really trying to
put so much shame on top of it that you
won't show your face in a church, or you won't
show your face around the people of God. So that
(21:12):
the thing that is human and frustrating and part of
your walk and really part of you getting closer with
God by removing things like pornography from your life. But
the enemy, even in that victory, wants you to feel shame.
And you can't let the enemy get that foothold in
(21:32):
your life because the pornography is bad enough, because that's
something that gets a foothold that makes you feel bad
about yourself. It's a very limited pleasure time. All of
these things is what builds the addiction there. But now
when you are working or pushing it out of your life,
the enemy loves to go. You're filthy. You should feel
nothing but shame. God doesn't even want you in his house.
(21:55):
The people of God, they don't love you, they don't
care about you, They don't want you there because that
still serves his purpose. His entire purpose is to keep
you from God. And that is worse than any pornography
you can look at. That is the true vulgarity in
life and the spiritual life, is the enemy lying in
(22:16):
your ear day in and day out that you're not
worthy of God, when God himself said you are so
worthy that I will send my son to die on
the cross and resurrect three days later so that you
shall be saved. And to allow the devil to speak
to you like that is to reject that very gift
of grace. And you need to push through it, and
(22:36):
you really need it. Doesn't mean you need to wear
a scarlet letter on your jacket or shirt. You need
to tell everybody every time you walk into a church.
It's not about that. And don't feel that. I know
I appreciate the fact that you want to be honest.
But even at church, you don't meet everybody and shake
hands and go I'm an alcoholic. Oh well I love pornography.
(22:57):
Oh I cheated on my wife. I can't have a relationship. Now,
that's not how you greet everybody. Because humans are humans,
and even believers wrestle with those things and are fearful
of them and will judge you differently until they get
to know you. So if it as you get to
know somebody or your pastor or these types of things,
(23:18):
and if it comes up and it's appropriate, absolutely, it's
not that you're trying to hide it or stuff it down.
It's just not a good thing to lead with.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
And that's what I did. I lead with it.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yeah, it's a tough one, brother, because they they there's
an automatic belief to that, and even though it could
be somebody who themselves are struggling with it, they'll still
want to judge you.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I revealed it the under the guise of that it
would be a comp that I did it confidentially, and
that I tell you, that's what a portrayal that was.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Well, humans are humans, and there you will It is
a betrayal. Absolutely, this someone in leadership, Yes, yeah, that's
that's gross, but it is, but that's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
And I learned, and like I say, you know, I
have such a strong relationship and I know I can
rebuild that and I know that what my gift is,
I'm an encourager and I can encourage people. I really
love encouraging people, and I love your show. I just
took me a little while to get to you. And
I appreciate your answers and they are rot on the nose,
(24:30):
So thank you so much. In anybody else that's listening
that had that problem, Jesus loves you, man, and you
can go to him, and I appreciate your help.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Brother.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know what happens quite a bit, James, and I
want you to really think about this, is that people
that have the gift of certain things, like you say, encouragement,
almost never ever impart that gift onto themselves. And you
have to allow yourself to hear those very same words
that you've given others time and time again, those words
of encouragement and kindness and acceptance, and you need to
(25:03):
allow yourself to have them as well. Guard yourself until
you feel safe. Not every church, sadly is safe. Not
every person in a church is safe, even though there
will be those that are so guard yourself as you're
opening up and you're learning about a church. I'm sorry
that you'd open up to somebody and you'd say, hey,
(25:23):
this is what I'm wrestling with and they did not
keep that in confidence or they treated you different because
of it. That really is a horrible sin unto itself.
But understand that you are coming out from underneath being
a slave to this. Two Peter two nineteen says that
for whatever overcomes a person to that, he is enslaved.
(25:46):
And if there's something that overcomes you, and in this
case it's pornography and that sensation of orgasm, whatever it
is building those things up, or the release that comes
with it, those types of things can be very powerful,
and I want you to work through them obviously as
you're doing. But I don't want you to feel the
shame of the enemy that whispers in your ear, because
(26:08):
all that does is trying to keep you from God,
and you're not going to fall for that. And I
don't want you to fall for that. The enemy hates you,
and the enemy hates me, and the enemy wants nothing
more than to keep us away from each other, because
(26:30):
in that bond, in that relationship, there is strength, strength
to truly overcome, strength to guard yourself against the ways
of the enemy, which are ultimately death, not physical death necessarily,
but spiritual death. And the enemy has a way of
(26:54):
finding those soft spots in your life, poking at you
day in and day out, seeing how you respond. And
when the enemy finds what you respond to, then he pounces.
And when the enemy sees something in your life, whether
(27:15):
it be pornography or whatever it might be, that is
ruling it something that you're struggling with, knowing that you
care enough to confess it and to strengthen yourself and
to remove it from your life. These addictions that pull
you down, that the world, the very hurdles that the
(27:39):
enemy has put in front of you, or bad enough.
But the moment you get strength to push them aside,
the moment you get strength to say, I won't let
this put me in bondage anymore, I won't let this
control me. I will not be enslaved. And you push
past them and you start to better yourself. Then the
(28:00):
enemy switches gears and he just slithers up next to
you and gets in your ear and says, Wow, that
sure was a pretty big hurdle. You probably aren't even
over it yet. And it doesn't really matter, because even
(28:25):
if you're over it, even if you remove it from
your life, you've got the stink of that, the scars
from that, all over your body, and that's all anyone
can see. And that is so putrid to the nostrils
of God. He will turn himself from you because of
(28:48):
what you've done. But the enemy is a liar, and
the enemy plays on your insecurities. The enemy plays on
the things that you worry about, that you are constantly
thinking of, because all he needs is just to push
(29:11):
it off a little bit each day. The less time
you spend with God, the less time you search for God,
the less time you spend praying, talking, connecting with God,
is time that He has you in a place of vulnerability.
He has you in a place where you're softened to Him,
(29:36):
even when it's a place of strength. In one arena,
you're getting better, you're strengthening yourself, you're trying to purify
yourself through God. The enemy uses that transition to make
you feel so bad about yourself, to make you feel
so ugly that you'll turn yourself away from God, but
(29:59):
he'll make you believe Eve that it's God turning himself
from you, But I assure you it's not. My arms
are always open and I'm facing right at you, wanting
nothing more than you to run right into them.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Kf I am six forty on demand
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