Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to KFI A six forty on demand. Chris,
welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Excuse me, that is you, Chris?
How can I help you?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Okay? So this is my question. What is the Bible's
position on a marriage in which the husband completely rejects
and insists that his wife sever her relationships with her parents,
her siblings, and her children from a previous marriage. The
husband insists that his wife make a choice between him
(00:35):
and the three small children that they have to gather,
or her children from a previous marriage and her extended family.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Okay, Well, on the surface, it sounds so incredibly horrible
that the decision seems easy. However, there's always more to
a story, is that What is his reasoning for not
wanting your children from another marriage? Are they older children?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
They are?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
How old are they?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
They are eighteen and twenty two?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Are they? And are they boys?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Boy?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And a girl?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Boy and a girl? And your children with this new husband,
they're young, you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Say, yeah, the very young toddlers.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay, And what is their sex and age?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
And we've got twins that are flour and a five
year old?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
And oh I'm.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Sorry, and the twins are boy girl, and then the
five year old is a little girl.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Okay, now, what is his reasoning for not wanting the
the adult or older children in the home.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, it sort of goes back to my divorce from
my previous husband, and the previous husband and the current
husband really very deeply dislike each other, and so it's
all really stemmed from that. So my current husband just
throws my two older children into the same you know
(01:56):
category with the ex the ex husband, because they're all,
you know, my children are friend my ex husband. So
he just for that reason, he just hates their dad
and wants nothing to do with them.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
And so, okay, unfortunately he's not here to make his case.
But as you've presented it, you know, obviously you come
with your own baggage into this relationship. That's what happens
when there's divorce and remarriage, and divorce and remarriage and
(02:30):
these types of things, that there's split families and with
you come your parents and and your previous children. So
if there are issues, the man or woman of the
house has the right to say, you know, to draw
(02:52):
lines if there's issues about if your parents don't respect
him in his home. He absolutely has the right to
say they're not coming in here anymore. And if there's issues,
the same way you would because it's about your home
and protecting one another. He absolutely has that right. You
absolutely have that right. If his parents didn't respect you
or didn't treat you well, he has the right, through
(03:14):
you and because of you, to say don't want them
in the house. Scripture says that a man would leave
his family and cleave to his new wife and they
would become one flesh. So if there was a choice,
then yes, you're bound to each other. You've made the
(03:34):
oath to each other. You're grown people, and if there
was someone causing you harm, even if it was his
own parents, then you'd cut them out. But if they're
not causing you harm and yours aren't causing his harm,
then it's a power trip of some kind which is
rooted in something probably greater than we'll have time to
get into. When it comes to your kids. However, as
(03:56):
long as that the adult kids are not causing any
harm on your your little.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Babies, of course they love them and they.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Care for them, then it's incredibly selfish and ugly to
not allow them to have that connection with their siblings,
as as half brothers and sisters or anything. It's also
equally as ugly to keep you away from your children.
So for whatever reason, when you guys initially got married,
(04:28):
were your other children not around, I mean they would
have been younger then.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, they were. They were, and it started out okay,
and he was nice to them, but over time, you know,
the the ex husband really sort of alienated them from
my new husband, and at some point my new husband
just said, I want nothing to do with them, and.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, okay, he's taking the easy way out. It sounds like,
again he's not here to defend his ideas or what's
going on. He may have some insights to the discussion
that would would change it, but from what you've told me,
there's nothing I see where there's it's a protection issue
of you, him or the children. In reality, it sounds
(05:16):
like it's a protection of the discomfort, the flexing of
his frustration or you know, lack of connection with these people,
and therefore is putting his foot down, which is inappropriate
from what you've told me. In the situation, I think
the best case for him would be to have a
(05:36):
discussion with your older children and.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
He refuses to do that.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
If you won't, if you can't have any of that discussion,
if you can't have any of that connection, you're at
a loss. You picked, you picked a bad guy, and
you chose to have children with him. Yeah, that's what
it comes down to. If that's the case, and he
doesn't care enough about you or as kids, or the
health of the family, that it's all about him and
(06:04):
what he wants and what he cares about and what
hurts his feelings or what he's got to uh, you know,
yield to or or men to or any of those things.
Then then you pick you picked the bad guy, and yeah,
you have to decide how that fits in your life
and uh, and what's important. But you chose him not
only to be your husband, but to be the father
(06:27):
to your children and uh and you have to, you know,
reconcile with that fact and figure out how to make
this work in its current context. Thank you so much
for taking the time to join me today, and remember,
more importantly all this craziness. I am with you always, John,
(06:50):
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
How are you John, I'm very well, Thank you. How
can I help you?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
My question is in regard cards to the correct interpretation
of tithing slash giving in the New Testament.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Okay, well, the New Testament doesn't talk about tithing per se. Now,
the Old Testament does, and a lot of references that
you'll hear about it really are our Old Testament based.
It's important to give. However, I never in any part
of the New Testament commanded my disciples to tithe. Now,
(07:29):
and there's also no New Testament writers that record any
specific comments or anything concerning Christian tithing. But the early
Church really focused on free will sharing of one material goods.
You can find that in First Corinthians sixteen one and two,
and also Ephesians for twenty eight. But nowhere are you
(07:53):
going to find necessarily the Christians are commanded to give
like a tenth. What they're called to give is themselves.
They're called to be a living sacrifice and to give
material goods and the like, as God leads First Corinthians
eight one and five. It also is to be done
(08:15):
with a cheerful heart, to be in a state of giving.
So the tithe is just kind of a word that
churches use to explain the fact that if you're going
to a church, John, and you're sitting in their pews
or their chairs, and you're using their air conditioning and
their electricity and all of that they have to offer.
You should be giving back to your church, that's your community.
(08:39):
But you should be doing it freely. If ten percent
is a good mark for you, great, But really the
tithe of the Old Testament tie tithe was more of
a tax, and it was probably more around twenty one
percent and not ten percent. But when all was said
and done, but giving is what's important. John. Being in
(09:01):
that state of giving and not not being stingy with
your money or sitting in the church and taking everything
that they have to offer you and giving nothing back
is just stealing that. That's pretty clear in scripture.
Speaker 6 (09:13):
So I agree with that completely.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
So it's just not people say tithe. Nowadays. Pastors mistakenly
say tithe, but what they really mean is to just
a heart and love gift to the church or to
a ministry to keep them afloat.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Tithing can be restrictive.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It can also Yeah, some people say, well only ten
percent as well, but really it's it should be to
you feel it. It shouldn't be well, I'm just going
to give a little bit here. The ten percent actually
becomes a good marker or reminder. Just like money managers
will tell you to save a certain percent at least
(09:54):
ten percent of your paycheck that goes into savings. These
kinds of things are good markers. But really you should
be saving more, you should be giving more. You should
be doing everything you can to use what's given to
you and put it back into the community of the
church if you are attending, and also your community as
(10:14):
a whole. And I think those things are just positive
and healthy and God blesses that.
Speaker 6 (10:19):
Amen. Thank you very much for your answer.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
You're welcome, John. And I know that's one of those
topics that people get kind of confused. And I get that.
The one of the criticisms of the church as a
whole or anytime you see someone preaching on TV is
just money can be yucky. It just can. It can
just look to be misused. And it's hard not to
look at a church that's just massive in size and
(10:45):
have people that are non believers look at that and go, wow,
I would never give my money there is there, you know,
look at all the gold leafing on the on the
front of the facade there and all of these things.
But here's the deal. It's about giving to God for
the practical reasons. What a lot of people don't know
(11:05):
that aren't in the church, that the church has Philippians
funds or certain funds that are designed to take care
of people on the down low. They're not making a
big deal about it and saying, oh, you know, some
of our some of our parish has been in you know,
hard times and we're taking care of them. Or someone's
(11:25):
business just folded or what have you. There's all kinds
of things that are going on because churches give as well.
They give to the community, and they give back and
do beautification projects in the community and all kinds of things.
And it's really there's nothing uglier than somebody who goes
and sits in a church and takes everything the church
(11:48):
has to offer and walks out as if they're not
part of it. If you're going to be a part
of the community, give if you don't have money, make
sure you give time. A good rule of thumb for
tithing conceptually is that, since the tithe really doesn't exist
today or for the Christian Church specifically, that when you give,
(12:08):
be consistent in your giving. If you do give ten percent.
If that's what God puts on your heart, great, but
be consistent to the best of your ability. Continually give
that ten percent. Because what happens is the church has
bills as well, and if everything's constantly in the state
(12:30):
of flux, and the money is going up or it's
going down, or it's going up or it's going down,
it can be a huge problem for the church to
keep their own finances in check. Steve, Welcome to the
Jesus Christ Show. Oh hello, Hi Steve, how can I
(12:51):
help you?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Hi?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Well, my question is where my wife what considers or
is looking at the reason for divorce with me?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Your wife is looking for she's looking for a reason
to divorce you.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Well, she's looking for a biblical reason to divorce me, okay.
And one of them that she had asked me pointedly
was about masturbation and and pornography use, and so I
admitted that there has been some and so she she
jumped on that as well, that's adultery and and uh
(13:35):
so that gives her reason.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
For divorcing me.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Well, why do you think she's looking for a reason
to divorce in the first place.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Well, there's there's been some other issues that we've had
ongoing and like for instance, for her, and from her
point of view, I've not been I've been meant, she says,
I've been mentally abusive to her or emotionally abusive to her.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Well, and you know, in this case, her point of
view is the most important. You know, how you treat
somebody can only be told to you by that persons.
So really they have the most important insights. So if
she says this is how I'm feeling or this is
what I'm receiving, you have to take that to heart.
So she thinks she've been emotionally, emotionally and mentally abusive
(14:30):
to her, And how how would she clarify that? Would
she classify it as you know, you yell at her,
or you don't talk to her, or you don't participate,
have her participate in decision making you don't. How would
it manifest?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Would you say, oh boy, it's pretty I think it's
pretty complicated.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
She actually blames it on.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
She has a me so much accountable as she holds my.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Buttbringing accountable is where she feels I get it from.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Well, that doesn't upbringing only serves so much scripture, says
Paul said that as a child, I acted and spoke
like a child. As an adult, I acting I speak
as an adult. And there's no matter what you've been
through in life, you have the ability to understand that
something was right or wrong and grow from it. And
(15:29):
so it's not the best of excuses. But right now
you're in a place where you're masturbating and you're using
pornography and your wife isn't happy about it.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Well, the bottom line for me is that I did
not treat my wife as I was as God has
required me to.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Treat my wife.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Doesn't sound like it, and and so I and I really,
you know, basically, I reacted to disrespect what I saw
of disrespect from her. But that's but really my reaction
towards her, which manifested in and not showing her the
loving and carrying I I'm supposed.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
To be doing.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
And I use that as a you know, I excuse
my My behavior was wrong, and it didn't matter, I
guess at the bottom lines, it didn't matter how she
treated me.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
The fact is that I was not treating.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Her as as I should have been as a husband.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Okay, And I'm glad to recognize that.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
You know, I accept full responsibility. I love my wife
to death, and I will do everything I can to
try to stop us some o everything I can possibly
do to try to let her know that I love
her and try to win her heart back.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Have you told her these things?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I have and asked her for forgiveness and in the areas,
in these areas, but she hasn't offered forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Okay, Well, I think it's time to take those those
words into action, and you need to. You know, are
you guys attending a church currently?
Speaker 3 (17:20):
We do?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, okay, And is there a counselor on the premises
or a pastor that can do some pastoral counseling.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
There? There is a counselor. I've gone.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I've been going to a counselor.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
She which is an elder there at the church. He
also is a is a counselor by trade. My wife
has gone gone to a counselor separately, who's a secular counselor.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
And but she's been willing to go to a counselor together.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Why Well, I believe what she's told me that she's
just she's through and she doesn't really want to put
in the put in any.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
More effort towards Okay, well you can't, you can't, you
can't really do that.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Are you were talking originally as their scripture for her
to use for divorce. Yeah, she could use Matthew and
go in there and say, well it says, you know
that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital and faithfulness,
you know, and twist that around and say, well, there
was unfaithfulness because marital and faithfulness does kind of cover
(18:36):
I come from from uh the Greek there the word pornea,
which is where you get pornography and the like from.
And so you could put pornography in there, and you know,
you abandon the relationship by only worrying about yourself, which
is what masturbation is and these types of things. Then
(18:56):
you know she has the biblical right, but in context,
really that's an excuse not to move forward on this.
And if she's not willing to do that, you can't
do it for her. I mean, you're only your half
the relationship, and you may have screwed it up pretty bad, Steve,
(19:21):
and you may have been absent for quite some time
and done some very hurtful things to her, which makes
her not want to deal with it. The shame is
that one should always, at least biblically, if you are Christians,
one should always be looking towards reconciliation. If there are not,
you know, physical and emotional abuse, then you should be
(19:43):
looking for reconciliation. When it comes to physical and emotional abuse,
it becomes much more complicated and a little more intertwined.
And really what you want to do is separate and
not have the ability for that abuse and get counseling.
But that can be very difficult, and oftentimes the most
important thing is self preservation and your own safety and
(20:08):
safety of your children should you have them. So that's
the key on that. As far as the circumstance with
you two, it's shame. It's sad that you let it
get to a place where she feels it's unmendable or
at least doesn't believe you. I would say, if there's
any opportunity for you to show to do a very
(20:31):
tangible thing, not buying flowers or anything, but working on yourself,
very tangible way, and you can look at her and
say I get it, I have not been good to you,
and that I have worn out the very fiber of
our love and it's going to take a lot of work.
(20:53):
You say you don't want to do it, I'm still
doing it. I'm going to go and I'm going to
better myself and find out what I did wrong. And
if you want to leave, that's on you. You're more
than welcome to leave, or you're welcome to join me
in this next journey and figure out what's wrong and
see how we can make it better than ever before.
(21:13):
But you have to do actual work and not just
say those words. She's probably heard words over and over
and over again and wants to see actual action, wants
to see something real, tangible, and you have to do
that regardless. Don't just go well, I'm going to do
this to get her back, and then if not, it's
back to the magazines. No, toss all that stuff out,
(21:35):
get rid of anything like that. Focus on making yourself better,
preferably for her, but if not, then making yourself better
for God. Gregory, welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
I'm a Christian and my brother has been going back
and forth as Christianity and he's fine coming around and
interested in it again. But he asked me a question
the other day that I didn't for the first time
really have any idea how to answer. He said, if
Jesus was supposed to, if Jesus came here as the
son of God and knew that he was going to
(22:15):
dine in the cross to forgive us for our sins,
then why when he was on the cross doing that,
did he say, Father, why have you forsaken me?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Okay, in a hole they was taking place at that point.
It talks about a growing dark at that time in
scripture talking about Matthew and Matthew you're twenty seven. You
see that verse forty five. Things start to happen. It says,
now from the sixth hour of darkness fell upon all
(22:49):
the land until the ninth hour, And about the ninth hour,
Jesus cried out with loud voice. And the words that
I said were eloi la machvachtani, which is actually quoting
Psalms twenty two to one. And so I would reference
that too, because it's important that that is taking place
the way it took place. But really what's happening there
is a sense of separation, not a true sense, not
(23:13):
a true separation, but a sense of separation that's going on,
and it's really the Father turning judicially away from me.
So at that time, as I'm taking on the sins
of the world, the Father is turning away, not fully
turning away from me. There's not an actual separation, but
(23:34):
the feeling of separation that's taking place as I am
taking on taking on all the sins of the world.
In doing that, the Father is not taking that on
I am. And as I'm taking that on, the Father
looks away from the sin in feeling that that never
experienced before. I use that as an opportunity to quote
Psalm twenty two to one, and I'll refer you to
(23:56):
that to go read it and you'll be able to
see it in its fullness. But there's not there's not
a full separation of God in the sense that God
was you know, we actually severed ties or something like that.
It's nothing like that at all. It's really the feeling,
as it says, the feeling of that what felt like separation,
(24:18):
not true separation, due to God having tune away judicially
from what was taking place because of the sin that
was being taken on. And that's why I quoted and
Lama Shoti obviously translates to my God, My God, why
hast thou forsaken me? So I hope that that helps
(24:40):
and that you take some time to go look at
Psalm and see it in its fullness and understand as
crows cross reference as to what was going on. John,
Welcome to Jesus Christ Show. Hey, turn the turn the
radio down there, partner right in the back, Yes, sir, Okay,
(25:01):
how can I help you?
Speaker 4 (25:02):
John?
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Hey, I'm I'm a I'm a member of a Baptist church,
have been my whole life and have been always read
through the King James version of the Bible, and I
was I saw a show the other day that was
that was speaking about the Gnosticism and they what they
(25:25):
were describing was the old former Christianity, and it spoke
about the Gospel of Thomas and several other gospels that
were I've never had never heard of in my life
and kind of looked into it and it was it
was really interesting to me, but I didn't know what
kind of uh. I spoke about it in my Bible
school class and kind of got a weird reaction from
(25:49):
the bet from the well, he's a really good friend.
We're all really close and everything, but you know, it
was it just wasn't We didn't really was writ At
the end the class we spoke about it, and one
other person had heard about it, but it was it
was real interesting to me, and I didn't know how
(26:09):
much validity I should put into you know, something like that.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Not much, okay.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
The Gnostic Gospels, which they're often called, is a group
of some fifty odd texts, and they're basically ancient wisdom.
Gnostic comes from the Greek term gnosis, which means knowledge,
so it was like often considered like hidden knowledge or
(26:37):
things like that. They became quite popular, but really some
are even attributed to me writing them, Thomas writing them,
and like, and really they're not. The historical value of
the books are just not there. They do bibliographical tests,
and these are tests that check the veracity of the
time in which it was written, the author, who's who
(27:00):
claims to have written it, and so on, continuity with
other writings of that time, with each other, these types
of things, and they just don't match up. So it
doesn't mean that they're horrible books or anything. They're just
not put on the par of scripture. So you can
read them if you're curious, you want to do your studies,
I would just suggest that you, you know, read and
study scripture first and then these things second. But they
(27:24):
are interesting in some sense, and there are I know
a lot of people make a lot out of them,
but the only reason why is because they're the new
kids on the block in the scheme of things. It's like, oh, well,
you know you've already read scripture, or maybe you haven't,
but now there's this new thing. But really nothing comes
of it. There's no special hidden knowledge or anything like
that in them.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
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