November 28, 2025 • 32 mins
On this episode of the Best of Tim Conway Jr. Show, we dive into the BIG questions: What’s the largest meal you’ve ever taken down? And just how many chicken nuggets can The Foosh handle before tapping out? Tim shares a mouthwatering tale from the Smokehouse, and things get heated when we talk trash — literally — with a rant on Trash Etiquette. Plus, brace yourself for a surprise reveal: Tim is a die-hard Beverly Hills, 90210 fan and can name the entire cast without missing a beat. It’s wild, it’s weird, it’s Conway at his finest.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to the
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm talking about McDonald's.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The owners are not happy about giving their employees twenty
bucks an hour. But speaking of twenty they offer the
twenty piece McNuggets. I happen to be a huge fan
of McDonald's. I know, probably go too often, too often,
I get that, but we've learned that Steph Fuje his
(00:29):
go to meal is ten nuggets quarter pounder and I
believe fries.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
On the side. Yeah, medium fries. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I don't know how you go to McDonald's and not
order fries. I don't know who that guy is. That's
all you smell when you drive up right. Yeah, And
they're known for it. They have extra long fries. They
don't skimp on them. It's not those little tiny ones.
And I always order him cook to order. I know
it's a pain in the ass, but there is nothing
A ten in my life is a plate of hot,
(01:01):
salty fries.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
There's nothing in the world like that.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
And if and when you get them hot from McDonald's
or in and out and they're they're they're so hot
you can barely eat them.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
That's a touchdown. I like the food, like their prices.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
And if you get them cold, that's your suicidal You
think about jumping off a parking lot, you know, and
and landing on a guy who gave you those fries
and take him out with you.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You just want to.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You become homicidal when you have cold fries. You really do.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's it's like the worst thing you could happen to me.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Something so good turns so bad so fast. Yeah, and
with every bite you get angry or and angry.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
The first time you eat that cold fry, when you're
expecting everything is ruined.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Everything is your your whole you might as well just
drive your car, you know, into a truck, into a
gas truck, and and the last thing you smell is
your cold fries burning.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Actually sound pretty.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
All right, So Steph's lay us on, layas, lay on
the audience. Here, what's your biggest fast food place where
you just were out of control? It wasn't rock bottom,
but you know it was adjacent.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, it wasn't.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I had just finished my final paper for my final
class in college. And where's this in La This is
a UC riverside and had finished everything. I was super
proud of myself. So I decided to go to In
and Out that was like the one that was closest
to us.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
So I got two double doubles, two orders of cheese fries.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Wait a minute, were you with your class?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
Just me, large coke and a extra large chocolate shake.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I'm writing this down. Okay, two double doubles, everything on it?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Uh yeah? Loaded? Yeah? Loaded?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Two cheese fries, yes, a large coke, and a large
shake like chocolate shake.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I think it's larger, extra whatever. The biggest size was
for the shakes. I got the biggest one.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I see. Okay, all right. Did they look for
other passengers in the car, No, they kind of.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
They did look at me a little bit weird when
I had that much food, So they just assumed I
was probably taking it back to like a furity or something.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, you got asked for a couple of forks. Yeah, yeah,
taking it back to you know, and basically a navy unit,
you know, taking it back to the ship.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
That's wild man. Two double doubles.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I don't know how you eat two cheese fries without
them cooling off, and they and the cheese getting all hard.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (03:44):
No.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
When I got back, I warmed them up real quick,
just to keep them warm in the microwave, and then
I just.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh, you have a process. Yeah, oh for that, Yeah,
there's a move.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, there's wark Yeah, it's not just eating through
the shake.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
The minute I got home, I put it in the
freezer so it would stay cold. Once I was done,
I took it out and that was my dessert.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And So when you called your parents to tell them
how you did on the on the final, did they
ask about post final meal?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
They did not?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, would you have laid it on them?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah? Well, if everyone knows.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Crozier, what's your Do you remember rock bottom or a
big meal that you couldn't tackle that.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I couldn't tackle?
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, man, I don't know that I could say that
I couldn't tackle because it was like my OUCD kicks
in and I can't just let it sit.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I'm going to shove that in me. What did you have?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
I used to do the McDonald's, say, I'd go big
on the McDonald's. I'd do a twenty piece and I
would probably do a twenty piece and then a fley
fish and either two just regular cheeseburgers or a double
cheese ber Wow. That saves on the bread, you know, yeah, right, yeah,
I won't watch your waist. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
And fries, of course you gotta fries. Sure. Sure.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I remember the biggest meal I ever had. I went
to Del Taco, which doesn't exist anymore, partially because of me,
the one on Hollywood Way and for Dougo used to
be a Del Taco there. And I ordered three Dell
Taco tacos, you know, not the not the eighty nine
cent ones, but the bigger ones. And I and I
polished them and and I thought, you know what, I
think I can eat three more. And so I remember
(05:19):
shaking my stomach in the car, like settling the food
to try.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
To like, h.
Speaker 8 (05:28):
Did you wear your pants that day?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I do remember shaking in the car, and a young
lady walked by, and I'm like, oh man, she's can't
be into this, right. It's a you know, guy in
his fifties shaking is, you know, settling his belly so
you can eat more tacos. And I got three more
tacos and I ate him and I remember taking that
last bite and I and I was working here at
(05:52):
KFI It was around noon and I had to, you know,
be to work at you know, six o'clock. We were
on evenings. I ate too much. I had six tacos
and fries and a coke and those big, big ass tacos,
you know, huge, And I remember saying, oh, I can't
commend today, and she was really she could. Yeah, you
(06:13):
got food poisoning. I said, yeah, yeah, I got food poisoning.
As I fast food, I got food poisoning. And then
I remember not coming in that night and saying, look,
I got to straighten up. You know you when you
call and lie about why you can't go in because
you because you ate too much, that's got to be
close to rock bottom. Got to be angel. Are you
(06:35):
what's your biggest meal? Is anything you want to share
or you want to keep it? Keep your cards close
to the best.
Speaker 9 (06:41):
I'll talk.
Speaker 8 (06:42):
I'll tell you what it was. We were talking fast foods. Yes,
two filet of fish, a four piece.
Speaker 10 (06:52):
Nugget, and one of their Sundays like a caramel Sunday.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
And afterwards I felt so full.
Speaker 10 (07:03):
Really, I wonder why it was painful and I was
so uncomfortable for like a couple of hours, and I'm
just like.
Speaker 8 (07:12):
And so a couple hours later went out and got a.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Mil Oh god, if you had a big meal, do
you want to share? You want to keep it to yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
I'll keep it to myself. I get it. I remember
a Bellio story.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Bellio showed up at one of the parties that we
had at Marongo and I saw her husband John inside,
checking into the hotel.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I'm okay, John, how you don't know?
Speaker 11 (07:39):
Tim?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Nice to see her. Good you don't know. I'm down
a couple of bucks. Hey, where's Belly O?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
She said, Oh, she's out in the car. And I
was gonna go out and have it cigarette a name onay.
This is years ago. And I walked out to the
car and she's sitting in the car. I'm like, hey, Belly,
and she goes oh. I said, hey, I'll help you
at the luggage. She say no, no, no, no, we'll we'll
be okay. And I said, yeah, come, I we're gonna
you know, we're at the bar. We're gonna have a drink. No no, no, no,
(08:06):
you guys, you guys go ahead. I said you okay.
She goes yeah, Yeah, I'm okay. And then I left
and I'm like, oh, man, I gotta I forgot my
valet parking ticket. So when I talked to the Valley
parker and she's getting out of the car now, she
just didn't want me to see her.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
She had cheese all over her.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
She stopped by Del Taco and got a nachos, and
I think John had stopped the car fast or whatever.
But she had cheese on her shirt, on her pants
and in her hair, in her hair.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And I'm like, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
She literally walked into Marongo a cheese on her shirt,
her pants, and her hair.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
She had cheese in her hair.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
And I and I asked her later because I saw her,
but I didn't want her to know that I saw her.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And I said, are you okay? She's yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. It's like I am now. But that's not
rock bottom shoes. Oh we're not even close. We're not
even close. Cheese, shirt, pants, and in her hair.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
Am six.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I went to the smoke house last night after working
in the garage all day. I had I had a
real jones for that garlic bread and I wanted to
get the garlic toast at the Smokehouse.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
So I called them up. Oh, the old the restaurant
over here by the studios.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, I called the restaurant and you know it's an
older restaurant. When the recording on their voicemail it says
you can reach us online, and I'm like, here we
go www dot Smokehouse nineteen forty six dot com.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
And then they spell it.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
When you when it picks up, is it like one
of the there's a there's a long pause before you
anybody take you hear this?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Hum?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Thank you for calling your smokes I can play it
for you here online to see you here, call the
Smokehouse in Bourbon. Let's see if it comes up dialing. Okay,
here it is smoke casts.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Can you hear yes?
Speaker 7 (10:22):
Sir?
Speaker 6 (10:25):
Thank you for calling Smokehouse restaurants. Please listen closely, as
our options have recently been up to you. Wish to
place an order for delivery, please visit our website at
www dot Smokehouse nineteen forty six dot com for reservations
or takeout. Press one for private dining, Press two for
(10:47):
garlic bread or online shaping orders. Press three for building matters.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Or to press I think I pressed, all right, here
we go.
Speaker 7 (10:58):
Thank you for calling House Restaurant. A team member will
be with you momentarily to take your reservation. Please note,
we are not able to change reservations by voicemail. You
must speak to a team member directly for the fastest service.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Here we go.
Speaker 7 (11:15):
Click the reservation link on our website at www dot
Smokehouse nineteen forty six dot com. That's www dot smoa
U S E one nine four six dot com.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Or that's good. Let's spell it out. How do you
smell smoke House? Spell on Smokeouse nineteen forty six.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Uh, they've been around a long time, but this the
garlic bread is unbelievable. So I ordered the garlic bread,
but you got to go in there and do it.
And I called it eight twenty two. I say, how
long does the kitchen open? She said till eight thirty.
I jumped in the car. I had eight minutes to
get there and place the order. So I get the
car and I raced to the I didn't break the speed.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Limit, but I was close.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
And I get to the Smokehouse and I'm ordering it
and she said it'll just be a few minutes. I said, oh, please,
I said, you know, you can take your time. I'm
in no rush. I just need that smokehouse garlic toast.
I need it in me. And so while I'm sitting
there waiting on one of these red you know, couches
or booths out there, I hear the guy at the bar,
(12:28):
the bartender, and he's a louder guy, and I'm like,
I remember that voice. I know that voice. The guy
serving drinks in the bar, I know him. And so
I asked the waitress there are they the mad d
or the hostess? I said, Hey, is that bartender's name Gary?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
By chance? And she said, yeah, that's Gary.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
I'm like, God Almighty, I remember Gary from thirty years
ago when he used to be the used to be
the bartender at a place called the He was the
bartender at the Money Tree, and so I said, I
walked up to him. He was he was just cleaning
some stuff up there and only had about five or
six customers at the bar, and I said, hey, are
(13:13):
you Gary?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
And he looks at me and he goes conway.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I'm like, hey, babo, I haven't seen you in them forever.
How long you've been at the smokehouse? And he says,
I've been here seventeen years.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm like, oh, I'm sorry that I've not been in
here in the seventeen years that you've been here. And
he told me his hours and his days. He's in
there Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. I said, oh, I'll
stop by and see you and catch up. I love
this guy. One of the greatest guys I've ever met
my life. Guy named Gary. He's the bartender at the Smokehouse.
So he says to the So I'm sitting there waiting
(13:46):
for the bread, and he says to two young ladies
sitting at the bar, he said, this guy and he
points to me. He said, this guy is the funny
You had the funniest line ever when he was bartending,
and he remembered this line from twenty five five years ago.
Twenty five years ago, he said, there was an old
guy sitting at the bar at the Money Tree, and
he had his feet up, he was drinking a beer
(14:10):
and he was watching Gilligan's Island on TVY now. And
you said to the guy, what's broken at home? The
TV or the refrigerator? Right, because otherwise, why would you
pay eight dollars for a beer.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
If you're gonna watch TV, you do that at home.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, right, He's watching Gilligan's Island, drinking a beer at
a bar, not socializing with anybody. He's just drinking a beer,
watching Gilligan's Island on TV. And he's drinking an eight
dollar beer and said, Hey, what's the busted at the
at home? The refrigerator of the TV?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
All right?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And Gary remembered that, and the girls laughed and he
laughed and I laughed, and I said, Ah, that's that's great. Gary,
I'll come by and visit you sometime. And he said, yeah,
please do that, Please do that.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I miss you. I miss you too.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
And as I'm walking away from the bar, I didn't
want to tell him or the girl's laughing, that wasn't
my line.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I never said that. You knew in the moment and
he was relaying this story.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I never if it was funny. I don't mind him
giving me credit, but I never said that. I don't
remember ever saying that. As a matter of fact, I
think a buddy of mine said it, and I wasn't
gonna correct him.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
It totally sounds like something you would, right exactly, So
I went with it.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
I went with it. I said, okay, yeah, yeah, I
said that.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
But I know I never did. But in front of
him and the two gals, I took credit. Didn't want
to didn't want to dissuade him or her or the
girls from believing that I was that funny, so I said,
no Ah. I remember saying that that was great, good
old times.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Gary.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I'll come back and see you again sometime, buddy. I
love that guy, Gary, the bartender at the Smokehouse. One
of the greatest guys I've ever met in my life.
That guy's the bomb.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
This happened to me today on the way to work.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
There's a guy walking down We live on an alley,
I know, pretty ritzy, huh. Guy walking down the alley
and he goes to put his dog's feces in my
trash cam and I at the same time, I opened
the garage door, and he closes the lid and he
(16:25):
grabs the dog, Dodo, and he walks away, and I said,
I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. He goes, Oh no, no,
he goes, I'm not gonna put it in. And I
said no, no, no, no, feel free to put it in there.
You can put anything you want in there. I don't
give a rat's ass. You can literally put a baby
grand piano in there. I don't care. I'm not one
(16:47):
of those guys that cares. You want to put your
dog doodo in there instead of carrying it around, because
you look like an idiot carrying a bag of dog feces,
that little green, tiny bag that's all tied up. You're
walking around. How do you think your dog feels when
you're walking around with your dog's s in your hand?
Doesn't he feel like he sort of owns you? I
(17:10):
would think so.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
When I had the dog and I had and I
was the one doing the walks with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's why I prefer cats personally. Yeah, I'll have to
clean it out, then clean a box out, but it's
like a one and done now every single time they
go to the bathroom, I have to be there.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
But our our dogs, uh when, first of all, you
can throw anything you want in our can. And I
know it bothers my wife. Though maybe it's a gender thing.
I don't know, but it bothers my wife. If somebody
throws you know, their dog s in m Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
It I it. Also, it doesn't bother me either.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
When somebody goes through my recyclables to take out cans,
I don't care. Look it's on the street, it's it's
it's up for grabs as as.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Soon as they keep the area clean.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
As a matter of fact, this happened in Tarzana. We
lived in Tarzana. We used to throw all our bottles
and cans into you know, the blue recycled band, like
everybody does, I guess. And this guy was pulling out
a bottle after bottle and he got so tired of
it he just took the whole blue can, through it
on the truck and left. And I thought it was hysterical.
(18:16):
Guy's leaving, He's like, I don't want to go through
all this crap. I almost going to take the can
do it. Later, I thought it was great, man, the
ball's on that guy right.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Not only did take the recyclables, but take the whole
canon split. I thought that was great, but it is maybe.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I don't know, Belly, are you are you disturbed by that?
If somebody throws some I.
Speaker 9 (18:38):
Don't like it.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
You don't like it? Right?
Speaker 9 (18:39):
You don't like it, Okay, like, go because Shannon's right.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
You know, let's not say she's right. Let's just say
you agree with her.
Speaker 9 (18:47):
Okay, I agree with Shannon.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Okay, because because that makes me feel bad.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
If you say Shannon's right and I don't care, I
feel like less of a human being.
Speaker 9 (18:54):
Well, that's on you are right.
Speaker 10 (18:57):
No, uh yeah, they throw it into your emptied trash
and you bring it and then you had to wait
a week with that in there.
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Yeah, there's those that creates issues.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Right, But it doesn't smell. I mean it's tied off.
If it's tied off nicely, it's I think it's air tight.
I don't think there's any issue there.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, but at least they're not leaving it on the street.
Speaker 9 (19:13):
No, I understand that, But why can't they take it
back to their trash can?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Because if you walk around with that green bag in
your hand, nothing says.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
If you dont goofball.
Speaker 9 (19:22):
If you have a dog, you're used to doing that. Nah.
Speaker 10 (19:24):
Occasionally we're walking walking the dogs and I have the
bag and I start like swinging.
Speaker 11 (19:30):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah, And John's always like, could
just not do that? And I forget I like hold
onto a bag, poo right, and occasionally it flies open
and then it's a shower, A god mighty, here we go.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
But steph, who shit bother you? If somebody throws a
feces in your can.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
I personally don't care, But when I do walk the dog,
I feel bad putting it in someone else's trash can.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
You do so, I've walked with it the whole way,
but it's mind.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, I think we got to get it together and
just assume everybody's trash can is up for crass.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I don't. It's just so bizarre to me.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
It's like what so I always think about that, Like
if Jen and I are doing a little walks and
I got like some trash or something like that, and
someone's cans like down a little alley ways, it's like
right there, put it in there. And I keep thinking
to myself, somebody's gonna come on, who do do something
on them? I'm just gonna throw it on the ground
beside it.
Speaker 10 (20:18):
What you want, man, your own trash can about up
two miles from home.
Speaker 9 (20:24):
Carry with me.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It's either beside your can.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Or in your can, that's right, Yeah, your choice, beside
your can or in your coin.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Can you choose, mister or lady.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, what would you rather have, you know, dogs feces
on the side of your can or in your can?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Exactly? Yeah, either, Well you don't have that choice. Yeah,
you don't know that choice at all. Man. It's weird.
People get very territorial over their trash. So weird. It's
a trash can. It is an odd thing. It's a
weird deal.
Speaker 9 (20:51):
I'm gonna go put some trash and Crozier's trash can.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I would love that the side of it. Please don't.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
I don't want to see trash on the outside of
the can. I'm like, well, with somebody put the trash
on the outside the right there.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
That's Brian Reagan.
Speaker 10 (21:04):
Remember when Brian Reagan came to visit as Tim and
he was walking by and somebody had rolled up a
piece of paper and it was like a foot from.
Speaker 9 (21:12):
He couldn't resist the men's down and he goes.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
You were So.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
It's like Adam Carolla, you ever see those They don't
exist anymore. But in the old days, bellyard your dad
ever smoked? Yeah, long time ago.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Did you have the bean bag ash tray on the door?
Speaker 10 (21:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
All right? So you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
It's a bean bag ash tray and you put it
on the dashboard and it fills with cigarette buds and
there's a little smoke stain on the windshield, the inside
of the windshield where those smokes were brewing for decades.
And then Corolla was talking about you get to like
a Long's drug, which I don't think exists anymore. And
the guy throws them all out onto the street.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Right the door, right.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, he kept them for like two months, so now
they're just bang right on the on the street or
in the parking lot.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Right. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
I love the ash marks, like right where the where
the glass in the window meets the upper part of
your door, from people that didn't want to roll down
their window all.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
The way to flick their ashes.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Yeah, the accumulation of the burns on the upper part
of the of the door.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And you can also tell when a guy or gal
is really interested in how their hair looks and they smoke,
because they're gonna have burn marks on the top of
their car, on the roof of their car. On the inside.
They put their hand their cigarette and their hand through
their hair. And then Christ there's another another scorcher. You
(22:38):
don't see the bean bag ash tray anymore, it's gone.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Did your dad have one?
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Your dad smoked not cigarettes, but yeah, okay, yes he did.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
My mom and dad both smokes cigarettes. And I remember
my dad and mom they would smoke cigarettes while like
taking six kids up to the mountains and all the
windows were closed.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
It doesn't really go on much anymore. Everything that my
dad did, I mean, dying from a drug overdose.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
And he just had so much disdain for people that
smoked cigarettes, like his ex my you know woman that
he married when I was thirteen.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
She smoked and he just just oh, those cats are like.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Weird to say, And he had the argument, he was like,
those are all chemicals, this is all you know nature.
Was he doing hard drugs or just weed? He died
from crack? Oh okay, all right for the most part. Yeah,
he once told me that he did everything but heroin
because he didn't like needles.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Really yeah, wow, man, that guy went for it. You
gotta give him that though a little to this, a
little bit of that. He was in a band in
the seventies in Miami. I get it.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I got it, man. That was the time to be
in that Miami, Miami band. Yeah that wo what a life? Yeah,
what a life. How old was he when he passed away?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
He was forty?
Speaker 4 (23:53):
I was young eight No, no, fifty eight, fifty eight Yeah,
okay that's not bad yea, yeah, because I'm three years
from his age.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Okay, So fifty eight's a nice run for a guy,
you know, doing crack and you know all kinds.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Of it was on and off. Yeah, he was on
it off.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
He would take years off and then he would go
through a good months or a year or something like
that doing bunch of stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah. I said, it's touchdown.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yeah, and he lived fifty eight and then, like you know,
in the band in Miami in the seventies, a lot
of people like that.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
All right, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand
from KF I am six forty.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Jason Priestley, you know he was in There was a
show what was the the the series that he was in.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
My name is Earl? Remember that my name is Earl?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Was he in the Yeah?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, he played uh like I was in like two
or three episodes of But man, I really loved him
in nine o two one. Oh, it was one of
my It was one of the shows that I watched.
I wasn't a big melrose Place were you Okay, you've
been knitting.
Speaker 9 (24:50):
What are you doing crocheting?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
But oh, so you can crochet? But and also half assed.
Listen to my references to a popular the shows in
the nineties, or you would watch those shows which watch
show that.
Speaker 9 (25:05):
You would watch Beverly Hills nine O two one oh,
or milrose Place.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
No, I'm saying I was not a melrose Place guy.
I was in nine o two and oh, but I
love that show.
Speaker 9 (25:13):
You are serious you watched that?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
I watched it all the time. I used to watch
it with a buddy, a guy named Jeff Warnick. No way, Yeah,
we used to go to his house and watch nine
O two one.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Oh. I never told anybody because that was sort of embarrassed.
Speaker 9 (25:26):
Who who were the actors in it?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, all right, Jason Priestley was in it. Okay, let's
see if how many I could name out of vibe.
Shannon Doherty was in it, right, yeah.
Speaker 9 (25:38):
Yeah, No, those were some of the stars. But that's
pretty obvious.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
That guy that was fighting everybody in Hollywood Boulevard.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Oh, I searing.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
He was in that sucker Luke Perry very popular, Yes,
Tory spelling.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I know her going right down the line. Okay, and
see that might be it.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Huh No, No, Jamie Walters was in that and Hillary Swank.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Jimmy Walters had that song.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Yes, that's right, but Hillary Swank that made that started
her career.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Hillary Swan, Yeah, that's right. She was a girlfriend like later,
that's right, she was great.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Lindsay Price was in it as well, and I don't know,
I'm probably missing somebody.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Carol Potter was in a few episodes, but I wasn't.
I didn't know all the you know, all the players,
but I do remember going and watching that program that
pro I'm probably missing somebody big though.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Brian Austin Green was in that.
Speaker 9 (26:33):
Way, Yes, he was one of the main.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah, okay, he was in that. And then that Doug
oh it's his last name, Ironsin Emerson, Douglas Emerson, wasn't
he inn?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I think he was in that, But.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
I don't even know some of these.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I'll tell you a quick story.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
There was I can't remember what actor it was that
played the teacher. Remember one of the older actors in
nine o two one oh that played like the teacher
or the principal.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Do you remember that? Do you guys remember that at all?
You guys totally blank on? All right, and well, let's just.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Say I think it was Joe Tata was was the
the actor, and so my.
Speaker 9 (27:17):
Body owned the.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
So later on in the episodes, you know, and as
the series went on, he wasn't in like the like
you know, season eight, nine and ten. So my buddy
Jeff Warnick was the biggest fan in the world. And
he was at thrifty drug store, which is not there
anymore on Laurel Canyon and Ventura, and he sees this guy,
(27:42):
Joe Tata, who's in this nine O two one oh,
and he's going up and down the aisle. It's only
him and Jeff Warnick in the whole store. There's nobody
else shopping there. And he sees Joe and he passes
him by and he and he now knows he's from
nine oh two one oh, and he wants to say something,
but you know, my buddy, he's like fifty and he
doesn't want embarrassed himself that he watches nine O two
(28:04):
and oh like I did. So he passes him again
in the aisle, and then the third time he passes him,
and their carts like run into each other, like their
carts are nose to nose, and he says, he says,
and he's staring right at Joe and.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
He goes, hey, I miss you.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Joe turned his cart around, never acknowledged him, and walked away.
Not know if that's the exact actor, but I'm just
saying it was one of those actors and walked away.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Never he goes, we miss you, miss and he walked away.
He said he was so embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
He left his cart there with all his stuff in it,
and he just went home just with him. He didn't
tell me that story for three years after we stopped
watching that show.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Three years.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
He goes, buddy, he goes, I gotta tell you a
story about nine oh two and oh and he told
me that story.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
And he's and he did it, and he did a
perfect impression.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
He stood there like he was holding it like he
was pushing a shopping cart, and he stopped. He looks
at it. He goes, we miss you, We miss you.
It's great, because that's not wordic. Wordick was not that guy.
He was a football guy. He's betting guys. You know,
(29:32):
he's a guy's guy. He's not a guy who's watching
nine oh two and oh and runs into an actor
and saying, we miss you.
Speaker 9 (29:38):
Well, that's what I thought of you. That's why I
laughed when you said you watched it. You don't see mine.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
I never told anybody I watched it, but why Because
I was embarrassed. I used to go over to a
friend's house to watch it. That's embarrassing. No, it's not
totally humiliating. It's beyond the embarrassment. It borders on humiliation.
(30:04):
I mean I literally I would park the car down
the street and walk to his car in case, like
my buddies ever drove by and go, hey, you had warnick, No,
we're just uh, And we took the lights off in
the house. We'd watch it downstairs in his in his
room downstairs, which he had a he had a nice
room up house up in Laurel Canyon, and he had
a room downstairs where nobody you couldn't see anything. He
(30:27):
closed the door and we'd sit downstairs in like his
dungeons slash wreck room where there's like pool was and
we'd sit in the case and we'd watch that show
and hope that nobody would knock on the door and
see these two idiots watching nine O.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Two one out.
Speaker 9 (30:43):
How did the two of you come to know that
you both loved this show?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I said to him at lunch because we were both
working at Deeke Entertainment and and I said to him
one day at lunch, I said, I said, oh my,
uh my, uh the girl I was going on just
a bit nine O two one, oh fan. And he said, oh,
so am I? I like, And I thought he was joking.
(31:07):
I said, really, I said, so am I. He was no,
you're not. I said, yeah, yeah. And we went through
like three or four episodes. He was buddy, he goes,
I had no one to watch it with. You got
to come over and watch it, and we did for
years years.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
You know, in your defense, there's there's probably a pretty
good reason why it kind of appealed to you for
the same reason that for the last name of Tory spelling.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, it's that same genre.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
So it had that vibe of those spelling shows from
the seventy Fantasy Island and Love Boat and all those.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Because it's made by the same guy.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, but I don't know if you know this, but
Tory Spelling tried out for that show, and her dad
was the executive producer. But she wore nose and glasses
and a mustache when she tried out, so he didn't
know was her.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
I didn't know she were like a whole get up.
I thought she just like changed her name or something
like that. But yeah, yeah, she nose and glasses. Good
for her man clown boy. Well, either that or he
just wouldn't let her or she.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Didn't want to know. You know.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, But I'm going to tell you this, and I
don't often do this. I'm not talking about it again.
That's in my past. That's a wrap, and I'm not
going to be answering emails or text or anything. I'm
not talking about nine oh two and zero again. Did
you watch it all the way the end? I told
just told you, I'm not talking about again. Conway Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always
(32:23):
hear us live on KFI AM six forty four to
seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on
the iHeart Radio app
It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to the
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm talking about McDonald's.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The owners are not happy about giving their employees twenty
bucks an hour. But speaking of twenty they offer the
twenty piece McNuggets. I happen to be a huge fan
of McDonald's. I know, probably go too often, too often,
I get that, but we've learned that Steph Fuje his
(00:29):
go to meal is ten nuggets quarter pounder and I
believe fries.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
On the side. Yeah, medium fries. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I don't know how you go to McDonald's and not
order fries. I don't know who that guy is. That's
all you smell when you drive up right. Yeah, And
they're known for it. They have extra long fries. They
don't skimp on them. It's not those little tiny ones.
And I always order him cook to order. I know
it's a pain in the ass, but there is nothing
A ten in my life is a plate of hot,
(01:01):
salty fries.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
There's nothing in the world like that.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
And if and when you get them hot from McDonald's
or in and out and they're they're they're so hot
you can barely eat them.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
That's a touchdown. I like the food, like their prices.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
And if you get them cold, that's your suicidal You
think about jumping off a parking lot, you know, and
and landing on a guy who gave you those fries
and take him out with you.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You just want to.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You become homicidal when you have cold fries. You really do.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's it's like the worst thing you could happen to me.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Something so good turns so bad so fast. Yeah, and
with every bite you get angry or and angry.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
The first time you eat that cold fry, when you're
expecting everything is ruined.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Everything is your your whole you might as well just
drive your car, you know, into a truck, into a
gas truck, and and the last thing you smell is
your cold fries burning.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Actually sound pretty.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
All right, So Steph's lay us on, layas, lay on
the audience. Here, what's your biggest fast food place where
you just were out of control? It wasn't rock bottom,
but you know it was adjacent.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, it wasn't.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I had just finished my final paper for my final
class in college. And where's this in La This is
a UC riverside and had finished everything. I was super
proud of myself. So I decided to go to In
and Out that was like the one that was closest
to us.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
So I got two double doubles, two orders of cheese fries.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Wait a minute, were you with your class?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
Just me, large coke and a extra large chocolate shake.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I'm writing this down. Okay, two double doubles, everything on it?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Uh yeah? Loaded? Yeah? Loaded?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Two cheese fries, yes, a large coke, and a large
shake like chocolate shake.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I think it's larger, extra whatever. The biggest size was
for the shakes. I got the biggest one.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I see. Okay, all right. Did they look for
other passengers in the car, No, they kind of.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
They did look at me a little bit weird when
I had that much food, So they just assumed I
was probably taking it back to like a furity or something.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, you got asked for a couple of forks. Yeah, yeah,
taking it back to you know, and basically a navy unit,
you know, taking it back to the ship.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
That's wild man. Two double doubles.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I don't know how you eat two cheese fries without
them cooling off, and they and the cheese getting all hard.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (03:44):
No.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
When I got back, I warmed them up real quick,
just to keep them warm in the microwave, and then
I just.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh, you have a process. Yeah, oh for that, Yeah,
there's a move.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, there's wark Yeah, it's not just eating through
the shake.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
The minute I got home, I put it in the
freezer so it would stay cold. Once I was done,
I took it out and that was my dessert.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And So when you called your parents to tell them
how you did on the on the final, did they
ask about post final meal?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
They did not?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, would you have laid it on them?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah? Well, if everyone knows.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Crozier, what's your Do you remember rock bottom or a
big meal that you couldn't tackle that.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I couldn't tackle?
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, man, I don't know that I could say that
I couldn't tackle because it was like my OUCD kicks
in and I can't just let it sit.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I'm going to shove that in me. What did you have?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
I used to do the McDonald's, say, I'd go big
on the McDonald's. I'd do a twenty piece and I
would probably do a twenty piece and then a fley
fish and either two just regular cheeseburgers or a double
cheese ber Wow. That saves on the bread, you know, yeah, right, yeah,
I won't watch your waist. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
And fries, of course you gotta fries. Sure. Sure.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I remember the biggest meal I ever had. I went
to Del Taco, which doesn't exist anymore, partially because of me,
the one on Hollywood Way and for Dougo used to
be a Del Taco there. And I ordered three Dell
Taco tacos, you know, not the not the eighty nine
cent ones, but the bigger ones. And I and I
polished them and and I thought, you know what, I
think I can eat three more. And so I remember
(05:19):
shaking my stomach in the car, like settling the food
to try.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
To like, h.
Speaker 8 (05:28):
Did you wear your pants that day?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I do remember shaking in the car, and a young
lady walked by, and I'm like, oh man, she's can't
be into this, right. It's a you know, guy in
his fifties shaking is, you know, settling his belly so
you can eat more tacos. And I got three more
tacos and I ate him and I remember taking that
last bite and I and I was working here at
(05:52):
KFI It was around noon and I had to, you know,
be to work at you know, six o'clock. We were
on evenings. I ate too much. I had six tacos
and fries and a coke and those big, big ass tacos,
you know, huge, And I remember saying, oh, I can't
commend today, and she was really she could. Yeah, you
(06:13):
got food poisoning. I said, yeah, yeah, I got food poisoning.
As I fast food, I got food poisoning. And then
I remember not coming in that night and saying, look,
I got to straighten up. You know you when you
call and lie about why you can't go in because
you because you ate too much, that's got to be
close to rock bottom. Got to be angel. Are you
(06:35):
what's your biggest meal? Is anything you want to share
or you want to keep it? Keep your cards close
to the best.
Speaker 9 (06:41):
I'll talk.
Speaker 8 (06:42):
I'll tell you what it was. We were talking fast foods. Yes,
two filet of fish, a four piece.
Speaker 10 (06:52):
Nugget, and one of their Sundays like a caramel Sunday.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
And afterwards I felt so full.
Speaker 10 (07:03):
Really, I wonder why it was painful and I was
so uncomfortable for like a couple of hours, and I'm
just like.
Speaker 8 (07:12):
And so a couple hours later went out and got a.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Mil Oh god, if you had a big meal, do
you want to share? You want to keep it to yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
I'll keep it to myself. I get it. I remember
a Bellio story.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Bellio showed up at one of the parties that we
had at Marongo and I saw her husband John inside,
checking into the hotel.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I'm okay, John, how you don't know?
Speaker 11 (07:39):
Tim?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Nice to see her. Good you don't know. I'm down
a couple of bucks. Hey, where's Belly O?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
She said, Oh, she's out in the car. And I
was gonna go out and have it cigarette a name onay.
This is years ago. And I walked out to the
car and she's sitting in the car. I'm like, hey, Belly,
and she goes oh. I said, hey, I'll help you
at the luggage. She say no, no, no, no, we'll we'll
be okay. And I said, yeah, come, I we're gonna
you know, we're at the bar. We're gonna have a drink. No no, no, no,
(08:06):
you guys, you guys go ahead. I said you okay.
She goes yeah, Yeah, I'm okay. And then I left
and I'm like, oh, man, I gotta I forgot my
valet parking ticket. So when I talked to the Valley
parker and she's getting out of the car now, she
just didn't want me to see her.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
She had cheese all over her.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
She stopped by Del Taco and got a nachos, and
I think John had stopped the car fast or whatever.
But she had cheese on her shirt, on her pants
and in her hair, in her hair.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And I'm like, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
She literally walked into Marongo a cheese on her shirt,
her pants, and her hair.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
She had cheese in her hair.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
And I and I asked her later because I saw her,
but I didn't want her to know that I saw her.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And I said, are you okay? She's yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. It's like I am now. But that's not
rock bottom shoes. Oh we're not even close. We're not
even close. Cheese, shirt, pants, and in her hair.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
Am six.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I went to the smoke house last night after working
in the garage all day. I had I had a
real jones for that garlic bread and I wanted to
get the garlic toast at the Smokehouse.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
So I called them up. Oh, the old the restaurant
over here by the studios.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, I called the restaurant and you know it's an
older restaurant. When the recording on their voicemail it says
you can reach us online, and I'm like, here we
go www dot Smokehouse nineteen forty six dot com.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
And then they spell it.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
When you when it picks up, is it like one
of the there's a there's a long pause before you
anybody take you hear this?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Hum?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Thank you for calling your smokes I can play it
for you here online to see you here, call the
Smokehouse in Bourbon. Let's see if it comes up dialing. Okay,
here it is smoke casts.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Can you hear yes?
Speaker 7 (10:22):
Sir?
Speaker 6 (10:25):
Thank you for calling Smokehouse restaurants. Please listen closely, as
our options have recently been up to you. Wish to
place an order for delivery, please visit our website at
www dot Smokehouse nineteen forty six dot com for reservations
or takeout. Press one for private dining, Press two for
(10:47):
garlic bread or online shaping orders. Press three for building matters.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Or to press I think I pressed, all right, here
we go.
Speaker 7 (10:58):
Thank you for calling House Restaurant. A team member will
be with you momentarily to take your reservation. Please note,
we are not able to change reservations by voicemail. You
must speak to a team member directly for the fastest service.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Here we go.
Speaker 7 (11:15):
Click the reservation link on our website at www dot
Smokehouse nineteen forty six dot com. That's www dot smoa
U S E one nine four six dot com.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Or that's good. Let's spell it out. How do you
smell smoke House? Spell on Smokeouse nineteen forty six.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Uh, they've been around a long time, but this the
garlic bread is unbelievable. So I ordered the garlic bread,
but you got to go in there and do it.
And I called it eight twenty two. I say, how
long does the kitchen open? She said till eight thirty.
I jumped in the car. I had eight minutes to
get there and place the order. So I get the
car and I raced to the I didn't break the speed.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Limit, but I was close.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
And I get to the Smokehouse and I'm ordering it
and she said it'll just be a few minutes. I said, oh, please,
I said, you know, you can take your time. I'm
in no rush. I just need that smokehouse garlic toast.
I need it in me. And so while I'm sitting
there waiting on one of these red you know, couches
or booths out there, I hear the guy at the bar,
(12:28):
the bartender, and he's a louder guy, and I'm like,
I remember that voice. I know that voice. The guy
serving drinks in the bar, I know him. And so
I asked the waitress there are they the mad d
or the hostess? I said, Hey, is that bartender's name Gary?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
By chance? And she said, yeah, that's Gary.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
I'm like, God Almighty, I remember Gary from thirty years
ago when he used to be the used to be
the bartender at a place called the He was the
bartender at the Money Tree, and so I said, I
walked up to him. He was he was just cleaning
some stuff up there and only had about five or
six customers at the bar, and I said, hey, are
(13:13):
you Gary?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
And he looks at me and he goes conway.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I'm like, hey, babo, I haven't seen you in them forever.
How long you've been at the smokehouse? And he says,
I've been here seventeen years.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm like, oh, I'm sorry that I've not been in
here in the seventeen years that you've been here. And
he told me his hours and his days. He's in
there Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. I said, oh, I'll
stop by and see you and catch up. I love
this guy. One of the greatest guys I've ever met
my life. Guy named Gary. He's the bartender at the Smokehouse.
So he says to the So I'm sitting there waiting
(13:46):
for the bread, and he says to two young ladies
sitting at the bar, he said, this guy and he
points to me. He said, this guy is the funny
You had the funniest line ever when he was bartending,
and he remembered this line from twenty five five years ago.
Twenty five years ago, he said, there was an old
guy sitting at the bar at the Money Tree, and
he had his feet up, he was drinking a beer
(14:10):
and he was watching Gilligan's Island on TVY now. And
you said to the guy, what's broken at home? The
TV or the refrigerator? Right, because otherwise, why would you
pay eight dollars for a beer.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
If you're gonna watch TV, you do that at home.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, right, He's watching Gilligan's Island, drinking a beer at
a bar, not socializing with anybody. He's just drinking a beer,
watching Gilligan's Island on TV. And he's drinking an eight
dollar beer and said, Hey, what's the busted at the
at home? The refrigerator of the TV?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
All right?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And Gary remembered that, and the girls laughed and he
laughed and I laughed, and I said, Ah, that's that's great. Gary,
I'll come by and visit you sometime. And he said, yeah,
please do that, Please do that.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I miss you. I miss you too.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
And as I'm walking away from the bar, I didn't
want to tell him or the girl's laughing, that wasn't
my line.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I never said that. You knew in the moment and
he was relaying this story.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I never if it was funny. I don't mind him
giving me credit, but I never said that. I don't
remember ever saying that. As a matter of fact, I
think a buddy of mine said it, and I wasn't
gonna correct him.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
It totally sounds like something you would, right exactly, So
I went with it.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
I went with it. I said, okay, yeah, yeah, I
said that.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
But I know I never did. But in front of
him and the two gals, I took credit. Didn't want
to didn't want to dissuade him or her or the
girls from believing that I was that funny, so I said,
no Ah. I remember saying that that was great, good
old times.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Gary.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I'll come back and see you again sometime, buddy. I
love that guy, Gary, the bartender at the Smokehouse. One
of the greatest guys I've ever met in my life.
That guy's the bomb.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
This happened to me today on the way to work.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
There's a guy walking down We live on an alley,
I know, pretty ritzy, huh. Guy walking down the alley
and he goes to put his dog's feces in my
trash cam and I at the same time, I opened
the garage door, and he closes the lid and he
(16:25):
grabs the dog, Dodo, and he walks away, and I said,
I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. He goes, Oh no, no,
he goes, I'm not gonna put it in. And I
said no, no, no, no, feel free to put it in there.
You can put anything you want in there. I don't
give a rat's ass. You can literally put a baby
grand piano in there. I don't care. I'm not one
(16:47):
of those guys that cares. You want to put your
dog doodo in there instead of carrying it around, because
you look like an idiot carrying a bag of dog feces,
that little green, tiny bag that's all tied up. You're
walking around. How do you think your dog feels when
you're walking around with your dog's s in your hand?
Doesn't he feel like he sort of owns you? I
(17:10):
would think so.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
When I had the dog and I had and I
was the one doing the walks with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's why I prefer cats personally. Yeah, I'll have to
clean it out, then clean a box out, but it's
like a one and done now every single time they
go to the bathroom, I have to be there.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
But our our dogs, uh when, first of all, you
can throw anything you want in our can. And I
know it bothers my wife. Though maybe it's a gender thing.
I don't know, but it bothers my wife. If somebody
throws you know, their dog s in m Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
It I it. Also, it doesn't bother me either.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
When somebody goes through my recyclables to take out cans,
I don't care. Look it's on the street, it's it's
it's up for grabs as as.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Soon as they keep the area clean.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
As a matter of fact, this happened in Tarzana. We
lived in Tarzana. We used to throw all our bottles
and cans into you know, the blue recycled band, like
everybody does, I guess. And this guy was pulling out
a bottle after bottle and he got so tired of
it he just took the whole blue can, through it
on the truck and left. And I thought it was hysterical.
(18:16):
Guy's leaving, He's like, I don't want to go through
all this crap. I almost going to take the can
do it. Later, I thought it was great, man, the
ball's on that guy right.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Not only did take the recyclables, but take the whole
canon split. I thought that was great, but it is maybe.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I don't know, Belly, are you are you disturbed by that?
If somebody throws some I.
Speaker 9 (18:38):
Don't like it.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
You don't like it? Right?
Speaker 9 (18:39):
You don't like it, Okay, like, go because Shannon's right.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
You know, let's not say she's right. Let's just say
you agree with her.
Speaker 9 (18:47):
Okay, I agree with Shannon.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Okay, because because that makes me feel bad.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
If you say Shannon's right and I don't care, I
feel like less of a human being.
Speaker 9 (18:54):
Well, that's on you are right.
Speaker 10 (18:57):
No, uh yeah, they throw it into your emptied trash
and you bring it and then you had to wait
a week with that in there.
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Yeah, there's those that creates issues.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Right, But it doesn't smell. I mean it's tied off.
If it's tied off nicely, it's I think it's air tight.
I don't think there's any issue there.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, but at least they're not leaving it on the street.
Speaker 9 (19:13):
No, I understand that, But why can't they take it
back to their trash can?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Because if you walk around with that green bag in
your hand, nothing says.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
If you dont goofball.
Speaker 9 (19:22):
If you have a dog, you're used to doing that. Nah.
Speaker 10 (19:24):
Occasionally we're walking walking the dogs and I have the
bag and I start like swinging.
Speaker 11 (19:30):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah, And John's always like, could
just not do that? And I forget I like hold
onto a bag, poo right, and occasionally it flies open
and then it's a shower, A god mighty, here we go.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
But steph, who shit bother you? If somebody throws a
feces in your can.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
I personally don't care, But when I do walk the dog,
I feel bad putting it in someone else's trash can.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
You do so, I've walked with it the whole way,
but it's mind.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, I think we got to get it together and
just assume everybody's trash can is up for crass.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I don't. It's just so bizarre to me.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
It's like what so I always think about that, Like
if Jen and I are doing a little walks and
I got like some trash or something like that, and
someone's cans like down a little alley ways, it's like
right there, put it in there. And I keep thinking
to myself, somebody's gonna come on, who do do something
on them? I'm just gonna throw it on the ground
beside it.
Speaker 10 (20:18):
What you want, man, your own trash can about up
two miles from home.
Speaker 9 (20:24):
Carry with me.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It's either beside your can.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Or in your can, that's right, Yeah, your choice, beside
your can or in your coin.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Can you choose, mister or lady.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, what would you rather have, you know, dogs feces
on the side of your can or in your can?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Exactly? Yeah, either, Well you don't have that choice. Yeah,
you don't know that choice at all. Man. It's weird.
People get very territorial over their trash. So weird. It's
a trash can. It is an odd thing. It's a
weird deal.
Speaker 9 (20:51):
I'm gonna go put some trash and Crozier's trash can.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I would love that the side of it. Please don't.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
I don't want to see trash on the outside of
the can. I'm like, well, with somebody put the trash
on the outside the right there.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
That's Brian Reagan.
Speaker 10 (21:04):
Remember when Brian Reagan came to visit as Tim and
he was walking by and somebody had rolled up a
piece of paper and it was like a foot from.
Speaker 9 (21:12):
He couldn't resist the men's down and he goes.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
You were So.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
It's like Adam Carolla, you ever see those They don't
exist anymore. But in the old days, bellyard your dad
ever smoked? Yeah, long time ago.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Did you have the bean bag ash tray on the door?
Speaker 10 (21:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
All right? So you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
It's a bean bag ash tray and you put it
on the dashboard and it fills with cigarette buds and
there's a little smoke stain on the windshield, the inside
of the windshield where those smokes were brewing for decades.
And then Corolla was talking about you get to like
a Long's drug, which I don't think exists anymore. And
the guy throws them all out onto the street.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Right the door, right.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, he kept them for like two months, so now
they're just bang right on the on the street or
in the parking lot.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Right. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
I love the ash marks, like right where the where
the glass in the window meets the upper part of
your door, from people that didn't want to roll down
their window all.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
The way to flick their ashes.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Yeah, the accumulation of the burns on the upper part
of the of the door.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And you can also tell when a guy or gal
is really interested in how their hair looks and they smoke,
because they're gonna have burn marks on the top of
their car, on the roof of their car. On the inside.
They put their hand their cigarette and their hand through
their hair. And then Christ there's another another scorcher. You
(22:38):
don't see the bean bag ash tray anymore, it's gone.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Did your dad have one?
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Your dad smoked not cigarettes, but yeah, okay, yes he did.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
My mom and dad both smokes cigarettes. And I remember
my dad and mom they would smoke cigarettes while like
taking six kids up to the mountains and all the
windows were closed.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
It doesn't really go on much anymore. Everything that my
dad did, I mean, dying from a drug overdose.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
And he just had so much disdain for people that
smoked cigarettes, like his ex my you know woman that
he married when I was thirteen.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
She smoked and he just just oh, those cats are like.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Weird to say, And he had the argument, he was like,
those are all chemicals, this is all you know nature.
Was he doing hard drugs or just weed? He died
from crack? Oh okay, all right for the most part. Yeah,
he once told me that he did everything but heroin
because he didn't like needles.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Really yeah, wow, man, that guy went for it. You
gotta give him that though a little to this, a
little bit of that. He was in a band in
the seventies in Miami. I get it.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I got it, man. That was the time to be
in that Miami, Miami band. Yeah that wo what a life? Yeah,
what a life. How old was he when he passed away?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
He was forty?
Speaker 4 (23:53):
I was young eight No, no, fifty eight, fifty eight Yeah,
okay that's not bad yea, yeah, because I'm three years
from his age.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Okay, So fifty eight's a nice run for a guy,
you know, doing crack and you know all kinds.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Of it was on and off. Yeah, he was on
it off.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
He would take years off and then he would go
through a good months or a year or something like
that doing bunch of stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah. I said, it's touchdown.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yeah, and he lived fifty eight and then, like you know,
in the band in Miami in the seventies, a lot
of people like that.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
All right, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand
from KF I am six forty.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Jason Priestley, you know he was in There was a
show what was the the the series that he was in.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
My name is Earl? Remember that my name is Earl?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Was he in the Yeah?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, he played uh like I was in like two
or three episodes of But man, I really loved him
in nine o two one. Oh, it was one of
my It was one of the shows that I watched.
I wasn't a big melrose Place were you Okay, you've
been knitting.
Speaker 9 (24:50):
What are you doing crocheting?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
But oh, so you can crochet? But and also half assed.
Listen to my references to a popular the shows in
the nineties, or you would watch those shows which watch
show that.
Speaker 9 (25:05):
You would watch Beverly Hills nine O two one oh,
or milrose Place.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
No, I'm saying I was not a melrose Place guy.
I was in nine o two and oh, but I
love that show.
Speaker 9 (25:13):
You are serious you watched that?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
I watched it all the time. I used to watch
it with a buddy, a guy named Jeff Warnick. No way, Yeah,
we used to go to his house and watch nine
O two one.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Oh. I never told anybody because that was sort of embarrassed.
Speaker 9 (25:26):
Who who were the actors in it?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, all right, Jason Priestley was in it. Okay, let's
see if how many I could name out of vibe.
Shannon Doherty was in it, right, yeah.
Speaker 9 (25:38):
Yeah, No, those were some of the stars. But that's
pretty obvious.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
That guy that was fighting everybody in Hollywood Boulevard.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Oh, I searing.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
He was in that sucker Luke Perry very popular, Yes,
Tory spelling.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I know her going right down the line. Okay, and
see that might be it.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Huh No, No, Jamie Walters was in that and Hillary Swank.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Jimmy Walters had that song.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Yes, that's right, but Hillary Swank that made that started
her career.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Hillary Swan, Yeah, that's right. She was a girlfriend like later,
that's right, she was great.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Lindsay Price was in it as well, and I don't know,
I'm probably missing somebody.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Carol Potter was in a few episodes, but I wasn't.
I didn't know all the you know, all the players,
but I do remember going and watching that program that
pro I'm probably missing somebody big though.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Brian Austin Green was in that.
Speaker 9 (26:33):
Way, Yes, he was one of the main.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah, okay, he was in that. And then that Doug
oh it's his last name, Ironsin Emerson, Douglas Emerson, wasn't
he inn?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I think he was in that, But.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
I don't even know some of these.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I'll tell you a quick story.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
There was I can't remember what actor it was that
played the teacher. Remember one of the older actors in
nine o two one oh that played like the teacher
or the principal.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Do you remember that? Do you guys remember that at all?
You guys totally blank on? All right, and well, let's just.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Say I think it was Joe Tata was was the
the actor, and so my.
Speaker 9 (27:17):
Body owned the.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
So later on in the episodes, you know, and as
the series went on, he wasn't in like the like
you know, season eight, nine and ten. So my buddy
Jeff Warnick was the biggest fan in the world. And
he was at thrifty drug store, which is not there
anymore on Laurel Canyon and Ventura, and he sees this guy,
(27:42):
Joe Tata, who's in this nine O two one oh,
and he's going up and down the aisle. It's only
him and Jeff Warnick in the whole store. There's nobody
else shopping there. And he sees Joe and he passes
him by and he and he now knows he's from
nine oh two one oh, and he wants to say something,
but you know, my buddy, he's like fifty and he
doesn't want embarrassed himself that he watches nine O two
(28:04):
and oh like I did. So he passes him again
in the aisle, and then the third time he passes him,
and their carts like run into each other, like their
carts are nose to nose, and he says, he says,
and he's staring right at Joe and.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
He goes, hey, I miss you.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Joe turned his cart around, never acknowledged him, and walked away.
Not know if that's the exact actor, but I'm just
saying it was one of those actors and walked away.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Never he goes, we miss you, miss and he walked away.
He said he was so embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
He left his cart there with all his stuff in it,
and he just went home just with him. He didn't
tell me that story for three years after we stopped
watching that show.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Three years.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
He goes, buddy, he goes, I gotta tell you a
story about nine oh two and oh and he told
me that story.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
And he's and he did it, and he did a
perfect impression.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
He stood there like he was holding it like he
was pushing a shopping cart, and he stopped. He looks
at it. He goes, we miss you, We miss you.
It's great, because that's not wordic. Wordick was not that guy.
He was a football guy. He's betting guys. You know,
(29:32):
he's a guy's guy. He's not a guy who's watching
nine oh two and oh and runs into an actor
and saying, we miss you.
Speaker 9 (29:38):
Well, that's what I thought of you. That's why I
laughed when you said you watched it. You don't see mine.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
I never told anybody I watched it, but why Because
I was embarrassed. I used to go over to a
friend's house to watch it. That's embarrassing. No, it's not
totally humiliating. It's beyond the embarrassment. It borders on humiliation.
(30:04):
I mean I literally I would park the car down
the street and walk to his car in case, like
my buddies ever drove by and go, hey, you had warnick, No,
we're just uh, And we took the lights off in
the house. We'd watch it downstairs in his in his
room downstairs, which he had a he had a nice
room up house up in Laurel Canyon, and he had
a room downstairs where nobody you couldn't see anything. He
(30:27):
closed the door and we'd sit downstairs in like his
dungeons slash wreck room where there's like pool was and
we'd sit in the case and we'd watch that show
and hope that nobody would knock on the door and
see these two idiots watching nine O.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Two one out.
Speaker 9 (30:43):
How did the two of you come to know that
you both loved this show?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I said to him at lunch because we were both
working at Deeke Entertainment and and I said to him
one day at lunch, I said, I said, oh my,
uh my, uh the girl I was going on just
a bit nine O two one, oh fan. And he said, oh,
so am I? I like, And I thought he was joking.
(31:07):
I said, really, I said, so am I. He was no,
you're not. I said, yeah, yeah. And we went through
like three or four episodes. He was buddy, he goes,
I had no one to watch it with. You got
to come over and watch it, and we did for
years years.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
You know, in your defense, there's there's probably a pretty
good reason why it kind of appealed to you for
the same reason that for the last name of Tory spelling.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, it's that same genre.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
So it had that vibe of those spelling shows from
the seventy Fantasy Island and Love Boat and all those.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Because it's made by the same guy.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, but I don't know if you know this, but
Tory Spelling tried out for that show, and her dad
was the executive producer. But she wore nose and glasses
and a mustache when she tried out, so he didn't
know was her.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
I didn't know she were like a whole get up.
I thought she just like changed her name or something
like that. But yeah, yeah, she nose and glasses. Good
for her man clown boy. Well, either that or he
just wouldn't let her or she.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Didn't want to know. You know.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, But I'm going to tell you this, and I
don't often do this. I'm not talking about it again.
That's in my past. That's a wrap, and I'm not
going to be answering emails or text or anything. I'm
not talking about nine oh two and zero again. Did
you watch it all the way the end? I told
just told you, I'm not talking about again. Conway Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always
(32:23):
hear us live on KFI AM six forty four to
seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on
the iHeart Radio app
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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