DAILY PODCAST: Rizz Changes His Name And Finally Redeems Himself | The Rizzuto Comedy Show

Meeting Don Mattingly, First Pitches, Daryl Strawberry was apparently in the stands, college students are heading back to campus, parents everywhere are questioning their financial decisions, and Florida has once again decided that normal behavior is merely a suggestion. Welcome to another episode of The Rizzuto Show, the comedy podcast where one innocent conversation can make several deeply unnecessary turns before anyone has a chance to stop it.

The show kicks off with Daryl Strawberry after video surfaces of the former MLB star crossing paths with an old teammate. That naturally gets Rizz thinking about what would happen if Strawberry suddenly appeared in front of him — because apparently meeting one baseball hero wasn’t enough emotional trauma for one week.

From there, we move into college season. Parents are loading up cars, kids are heading back to school, and the crew starts debating the best college towns in America. Fayetteville gets plenty of love as Rizz talks about an upcoming Arkansas visit, while Moon makes a strong case for Tuscaloosa and the conversation wanders through Bloomington, Ann Arbor, Tempe, Madison, Charlottesville, Gainesville, Tallahassee, Laramie and Urbana-Champaign.

There are legitimate discussions about business schools, campus life and tuition. There are also judgments based on weather, stadiums, sandwiches and whether your kid will feel like college is just “13th grade.” In other words, this is not an accredited educational consulting service. Please plan accordingly.

Then Florida arrives.

And Florida does not arrive quietly.

It’s time for Fake News of Florida, where callers have to decide whether increasingly ridiculous headlines actually happened in the Sunshine State or were created specifically to destroy their remaining faith in humanity.

Could a Chuck E. Cheese mascot really get arrested inside the arcade? Could a guy in a Batman onesie detain a burglary suspect? Could a 300-pound feral hog crash through somebody’s glass door? What about a runaway kangaroo? A guy hiding a gun under silicone breasts? A pet store burglar putting a live ferret down his pants?

These are the questions our ancestors dreamed we would someday have the technology to answer.

Moon serves as a lifeline, which occasionally works beautifully and occasionally involves him building an entire forensic case around a headline only to discover that Florida simply does not respect conventional logic. The more reasonable his explanation sounds, the more concerned everyone should probably become.

Things eventually escalate to mystery shower curtains, a Key West parrot allegedly trapped in a margarita machine and perhaps the most Florida sentence ever assembled: a Pensacola man trying to trade a live rattlesnake for a box of chicken tenders. At some point you stop asking whether the headlines are plausible and start accepting that the state of Florida is basically running its own comedy podcast without microphones.

It’s baseball nostalgia, college-parent anxiety, caller chaos, weird news and enough Florida nonsense to make you suspicious of every headline you read for the rest of the day. Just another comedy podcast from The Rizzuto Show, where we take the important stories of the day and immediately make them significantly less important.

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