Fart Corners, College Moves & The Great Potato Debate

Some teachers have reading corners. Some have quiet corners. One brave educator looked at her classroom and decided what these children really needed was a designated fart corner.

And that’s where today’s funny podcast begins.

The concept is simple: if a kid needs to let one rip, they walk over to a specific corner of the classroom, handle their business, spray a little air freshener and quietly return to their seat while supposedly “nobody pays attention.”

Sure.

Because elementary school children are famously discreet and would NEVER keep a running leaderboard of who visited the fart corner the most.

The crew immediately identifies several flaws in this educational breakthrough, including the unfortunate student whose desk is closest to ground zero, the acoustical advantages of ripping one near a wall, and the absolute certainty that some confident kid will turn the fart corner into Madison Square Garden. Moon also relives an eighth-grade fart incident involving a plastic chair, Trisha and a level of emotional damage that apparently survived well into adulthood. The lesson? It’s not the fart. It’s the confidence behind the fart.

Then, because apparently science had nothing more urgent to solve, the show dives into a massive flatulence study involving thousands of participants and hundreds of thousands of logged farts. Men versus women. Peak farting hours. Historical fart estimates. And yes, “anal tracking devices,” a phrase we sincerely hope never appears on the company expense report.

Rafe even revisits his proposed radio game involving everyone recording their own farts so listeners can guess whose is whose. Management’s continued refusal to greenlight this important broadcasting innovation remains baffling.

Thankfully, St. Louis Blues broadcaster Chris Kerber joins the show to restore professionalism.

That lasts approximately four seconds.

Kerber weighs in on fart-corner logistics, airflow, acoustics and the important parental responsibility of teaching your children to laugh at flatulence. Then the conversation shifts to how Chris managed to get himself kicked out of a University of Louisville parents Facebook group.

His crime?

Suggesting that a college student who wanted to know whether anyone downstairs was watching a football game could perhaps… walk downstairs and find out.

Apparently this was too radical for the safe space.

That launches a full discussion about helicopter parenting, college move-in season and parents asking Facebook whether their 18-year-old should wear a robe or a towel back from the dorm shower. Chris and Moon agree on a revolutionary parenting strategy: sometimes your adult child can figure stuff out.

Rizz is preparing to take his 16-year-old to tour the University of Arkansas, so Kerber offers actual useful advice among the chaos: check out the dorms, investigate the dining options and pay attention to whether the campus simply feels right.

The hockey talk continues with the newly unveiled St. Louis Blues promotional calendar, including the upcoming Rizz Show Night jacket, which might legitimately be one of the best giveaways the show has done. Kerber breaks down the limited nature of theme-night tickets, the upcoming shortened NHL preseason and the excitement building around the new season.

Then listener emails take this funny podcast somewhere completely different.

A former escort and sugar baby writes in after hearing the crew’s previous conversations about dating for money and offers to answer their questions. Naturally, the room immediately generates approximately 700 of them. How much money? What was off-limits? Was sex always involved? How do repeat arrangements end? When do you tell a serious partner about that part of your past? Did you feel safe? Did you pay taxes?

Rafe, meanwhile, wants to know whether there was a Groupon.

Journalism.

Another listener from Metro West Fire Protection District offers to help the crew with CPR training and car-seat installation, which somehow results in Rafe claiming he ordered a RealDoll to practice CPR. Lern immediately populates his imaginary house with Rhonda, Susan, Dolly and Reba, and now apparently Rafe hosts brunch for a collection of synthetic roommates.

We’re sorry too.

Finally, the crew tackles a hypothetical: What if you could choose one food that your body would treat as perfectly healthy forever?

Pasta enters the arena. Chocolate-chip cookies arrive, although Moon repeatedly describing his ideal cookie as “wet” and “sweaty” causes unnecessary suffering. Lern chooses cake. Rafe starts negotiating the definition of pasta. Donuts make a late push. Rizz eventually