November 12, 2025 • 59 mins
Batter Up! This one is a fun time! We sit down with Alexandra Kay and get to know her story. We chat how she got her start, her fave beauty products, and what it’s like being on one of the biggest tours with one of the biggest artists, Jelly Roll. So enjoy this episode and don’t forget you can head over to YouTube and watch the entire silly episode!
See ya later,
BYEđź’‹
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Today’s Guest: Alexandra Kay
@alexandraKaymusic
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, Hi, get a little such up. Hi am Karen.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm Mari, and you're listening to the touch up. We
hope you're picking up what we're putting down.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hi, Karen, I really like your sweater to I don't
thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hi Mari, what do you got on there?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
They look like funny dogs.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I think one of them is busy yet.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Oh are they just different animals? I didn't even look.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
No, they're dogs. They're literally little puppies. Yeah, I think
they're They're very unbranded.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
That's a very cute Christian.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Christian gave this to me, and she's also a dog weirdo,
so that's a really good hand cute.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
It's very cute.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hi Alexander k Hi guy, welcome to the most chaotic Unhinged.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I know you beautiful chaos though. I know you're so
cute cute. I know I love that.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I think we should bring that back.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Thank you. I don't even know if it ever left.
I'm trying did it? I'm not sure? Maybe I'm just
three my mommy's.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
And feminine, but like still like with the boot, with
the the tough fairy, the tough.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Thank you, the top fairy.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
I can't but I will kill you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
And then you just put the tights on so you
don't have to shave your legs and it looks great. Yeah.
Leg do we call those purpose? Yes? I wear these
like non stop on stage. I'd never go on stage
without these because they make in the lights, they like
shimmer and they make your legs.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I literally notice like in all.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Your that your legs are perfect. It's yeah, it's these.
What's not? Actually? How do we buy them? Actually? Amazon? What? Yeah?
I get them off Amazon?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Are they like performance tight?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah? They're like ballerina tights? Oh so they do they? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
What what have different shades look like? Is it like
spanks up here?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Not?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Not really?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
That's like really tight? Can you tell us you take your.
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Here?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
We are? I know it's beauty. It's beauty. Is its
adjacent adjacent?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Speaking of being on the road, though, you've literally been
on like the biggest tour ever. I think Jilly Roll
is the biggest artist right now.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So see you later.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's so wild, the craziest hour ever.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
So wild, like so much fun. Every single day was
like I woke up and it was like felt like
a dream. Crazy, and especially since you know, I'm not
used to being able to even really have that much
time with the artists that I'm opening for. They usually
keep to themselves, but Jelly is just everywhere. He's just
a different kind of like he is.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
There is a video recently that I reposted of him
bringing inmates out from the local prison in Virginia, which
was I mean, I cried.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
That was incredible and they're saying on stage, yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
And they're all they were artists, really talented people too,
like hit rappers, and they did a whole whole little
performance and it was very it was it was a moment.
And then right after that they get shipped back and
they go back into their cells. But for that one
hour they got to you know, because what they what
do they do after when they're done?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
So they're giving them a platform.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
It's like, hey, there's another side to being incarcerated for
an artist, and this is this is my story and
it could happen to you too, and it could and
giving people a chance to be able to use that.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Platform forgetting you is in jail because it's just like
his life is just literally well that's his story completely.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I know. I just forget just in and out of
the system is entire life.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, once you're in your I mean like actually.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
But like that's why I think he continuously goes back
to all the jails and says like, I mean, because
these people aren't on death row that he's going to visit,
like they will usually get out one day, and so
he's just trying to keep their spirits up so that
they don't end up back in. Yeah. Yeah, because I
mean he got out and was just like, okay, full force,
here we go.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Well, and they don't do anything to better these men
either exactly, they don't give him any skills or you know,
they're so they have to just do.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
It all on their own.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
So I think that like his voice is is there's
there's a change to a shift, and people like that
are inspiring and we need more of that, and that's.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
A dope energy to be around.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I'm you're like, oh, it's incredible.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh my gosh. I love him so much. He just
calls me his little sister and and does anything he
can to help on any level. And just make sure
that I know that, you know, like last night a tour,
the last night of tour, we all went and had Yeah,
well it's over for me. Okay. So we went out
for two months with him, and then a whole different
(04:40):
set of openers came out for the last two weeks
of tour and then I go back out on bridgetone
for the bridge Stone show.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
So that no, I know, that's a very rare thing
for the headliner and the artist to just be there
with you.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Oh, for sure, that doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I'm nine times out of ten, I don't even get
to meet the person that I'm opening, for sure.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, it happens very often.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, it's a group thing. It's uh or we have
no communication. Yeah, and it's just kind.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Of doesn't the headliner pick.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
The not usually not all the time agent agents. Yeah,
and so it's yeah, exactly exactly. Everybody was like money,
that definitely helps, though, it definitely helps, like if you
have a personal relationship, which I already had a personal
(05:35):
relationship with Jelly, but Jelly hand picked us for this
tour and was like, I just want to take the
independent girl out because he told me at dinner when
that night he was like, I noticed that you weren't
getting you know, a lot of like big support, and
I wanted to, you know, give you that opportunity, and
I was like, thanks, man, like this changed everything for me.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Oh yeah, and did it? Yeah, I mean that's that's
a stupid question.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, I mean I know, but I.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I don't know for sure. For sure, it's a really
valid question because I mean, things happen for people all
the time and it doesn't necessarily Yeah, yeah, and all
that much.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
I remember like some you know, all we do is
work with artists, So I've I'm just like remembering people
being like I'm going on this tour. It's a lot
of money, but I feel like it's worth it for
my career, or I spent all this money on this
tour and it didn't do or like you know.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
So I just I don't. I don't know, but I'm
glad that it did good. Oh for sure, and you're
still independent, I am. Yeah, that is so dope that
you're not.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
With a label. Yeah, that is so bad. Good for you.
Thank you, gratulation, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, it's it's been. It's been super awesome for me
and in so many ways because Jelly has really been
super vocal about his support for me and for other
independent artists and so like. Not only was he kind
of taking me under his wing and introducing me to
people and letting me go into the radio rooms every
single night and meet radio people, so that I already
(07:08):
have those connections later down the road if I were
to take a single to radio, that I will have
met all those people already. Like he was just really
setting me up for success. But then he was bringing
me up every single night with the arena full yeah
during his show, and we would do should Have Been
a Cowboy together, and I would take the second the
(07:29):
second verse, and then he had me do this whole
bit where then he would step off and I would do, Man,
I feel like a woman by myself first or during
his set. That's psychotic, I know, and then grab me
and be like, let me tell you guys something before
he comes. She gets off of the stage. She is
an independent artist. Her and Beth have done this from
(07:51):
day one worked thereof Yeah, we would be just like crying.
We would just be crying. That's psychotic. Yeah, God, we
need That's what you like.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
I know.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
You love to hear when people are like jelly roll
is legit, and then you just keep hearing these stories about.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
How the word on the street is that is that
he's like.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
The most humble, the most grateful, because that's what you
do when.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You when you are grateful.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, I'm humble king. Yeah that's wild.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
And how long have you been in Nashville? I feel
like I don't know anything about you. You're from out
what's your mom's name?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Girl name is Susan. Shout out Susan in front of
the pot. Soon stay y'all. No, I'm I'm from a small,
small ish town Waterloo, Illinois. It's like, so you're a
Midwest girl. Yeah, Midwest girl, but near Saint Louis, Missouri.
(08:48):
So you just say you're from Illinois. Everybody's like, oh,
you're from Chicago. And it's like from like six hours
from there, right, So the closest city to me was
Saint Louis. I can get there in like thirty minutes.
And so I just kind of grew up going to
Saint Louis and got my first record deal with the
Saint Louis based record label in Hallaru twenty twelve, So
twenty twenty twenty one, okay, yankee, Yeah, And that was
(09:11):
my first kind of little bit into the machine. I
guess yes. And then did you grow up?
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Did you grow up like playing music? You were a
little girl, just I want to play country music.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I know. I did not like music at all.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I never said like I.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Was a video I was a gamer.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I was a softball player. Actually I was a softball
player like competitive same yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Also same same yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Wait really wait okay, hold on position.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Catch her third baseman?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Okay, catch her picture bro bro bro?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, oh my god, shud we start a league?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Wait? Can't I do? Miss it?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
All?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I ask people sometimes you just want to go outside
and have a catch.
Speaker 7 (10:07):
I know sometimes I didn't.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Did you play college ball?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
No? So we were kind of like born and bred
to play college ball, right, so like we played. I
had a really you know, not trying to say anything
bad about a great day to be a great day,
great day. I'm not trying to say anything bad about
my high school. But we didn't have the greatest softball team.
We lost consistently. So I would play with this team
(10:40):
and then I would go to my select team and
we were like nationally ranked like killers softball players. Like
it was like you bleed this sport and shortstop is
a you're a bad it was thank you.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
There's a lot of balls that are thrown your way.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Girl. Yeaht me quick. Yeah the agile Yeah, yeah, it was.
It was cool. It was It was a really great
time in my life. And I always thought i'd play college.
You're like, so then in the dugout, I started singing
some songs, so I was like that R.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Everyone was like, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
I'm sorry, you have a voice of an age.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I Also, they're redoing that. They're making like another league.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Of their own. I think really that where they're breaking.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Get it right on, get it right.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Nope, I can't get it right. Nope, I don't know.
I saw something. It's not real.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
It's a brown out.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Okay, it is a Disney Channel original movie.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
I saw Geena Davis. It wasn't their own. Okay forgetting go.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Continue.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I had a tiny stroke and we're back.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Oh so good up. But yeah, basically I was thinking
my entire life I would play college softball. Both my
sisters did. They both went on full ride scholarship to
college for softball, and I just when it came down
to it, went to my parents went and did you
know all the like the college interviews and tours, and
(12:18):
all the things and had you know, full rides on
the table for me to go, and that's impressive. What
schools didn't take them? So I had like Decatur University,
which is really close to where I'm from, and then
Robert Morris University, which is closer to where I'm from,
and so I just would like kind of went to
(12:39):
all of the ones that were more local because I
didn't want to go too far away and.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
You want your family to come to your games too.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
For sure. But I also was like at that point,
really working towards music. So I really didn't want to
leave Saint Louis because I had made such strides in
the city of just who I got to know and
really like, I don't know, immersed myself in like the
R and B hip hop culture in Saint Louis at
the time, And.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
So is that where you started like R and B?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
So my first record deal was second we have.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Like boys sexy, like do you have any really?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And I don't really know, but don't listen to the
first I am singing, but but I yeah, I just
had a conversation with my parents and just was like,
I I think I want to take you know, a
year off and I want to pursue music, and their
faces just turned completely white. And also at the time
(13:41):
I wanted to be I'd done a lot of musical
theater and I wanted to major in theater, which is
another reason why I wanted to go to Decater because
they'd like the number one theater. Yeah, they were like,
really really great theater department, and so I wanted to
go there. And then I was told, you cannot major
in theater and beyond scholarship for softball because.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
You can't do sports and yeah, yeah, cold, yeah music,
because they're just two different.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
And the seasons are at the same time. Yeah yeah,
So you know, when you're supposed to be in a
play like we have, we're in the middle of the
season and you just couldn't do it. So I was like, well,
then I'm not going to go here because that's what
I want to major in. And then I just made
the decision. I had that talk with a couple of
different schools and realized I couldn't really have my cake
and eat it too, and I was like, well, then
(14:25):
I'm just going to take this chance because I'm young
and if I don't try, I'll never know so.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I'm going to eat all that cake, my cake.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I'm actually gonna I never understood that expression.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I'm going to eat I'm going to eat that cake
and have your cake and eat it too. Yes, I
do it all the time, all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
That's your cake, eat it. I'm starving.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I'm going to eat all and I'm eating it right now.
Yeah yeah yeah, And so, uh that's how I got here,
so you will, no, So I I took the time off.
My parents basically said you have a year. And this
is how just my parents were just not connected to
the music industry or Sue and Steve had no idea
(15:08):
how hard it was to pursue a career in music.
And so they said, you have a year to sign
a record deal. This is what they told me when
I'm eighteen years old. And they said, or you need
to go find somewhere else to live and like, you know,
go work and support yourself if you're not going to
go to college. Otherwise you can live here while you're
going to school. And so I said, okay, give me
a year whatever, and then I signed my first record
(15:29):
deal in eight months. I think a yeah, so write
a single piece of paper. Yeah, no, it was it
was like a you know, a local record label. It
was an independent record deal. So basically I signed. I
did what they wanted me to do. They funded, you know,
(15:51):
my first few singles. They took some things to radio,
and it was a good situation. We just weren't seeing
eye to eye on who I was as an artist,
and it was I was signed as like a like
an R and B. I guess hip hop that lane,
and I didn't know who I was and hadn't really
found my own sound yet, and so we decided to split.
(16:12):
And at this time, I was like heavy and I
was working at this four seasons hotel in Saint Louis.
I was everything there. I was in the room service
and I was the hostess in the restaurant. I was
in laundry summertime. I was serving your drinks at the pool.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Every time you turn around, excuse me spot.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, because I was a hustler, I was like, oh,
the spas got hours, give me that blue shirt. What
do I need to do? Full the towel school, I'm
in there.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
I don't have my license. I'm probably going to get.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They're like, no, you're gonna go take all the dirty
tails out and then fold the clean ones. And I'm like, cool,
I'll do that for eight hours if I'm getting paid.
And so I was just a hustler, like I was
just ready to make money and work and way that
I could. And so anyways, I met when I was
working in the restaurant, I met some guys that were
in back of the house who were rappers. And I
(17:12):
smoked cigarettes at this time, and so I, yeah, you know, that's.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
Like yeahgarette, yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
So I would go down and have my little smoke
break and these guys would be down there smoking weed
or whatever they were wrapped. They would be just like rapping.
I know, this sounds like it's a setup for a movie.
It's beginning by in each other. There are tracks like
their new stuff and whatever. And I just one day
was like, yo, I sing and like, if you guys
(17:52):
ever need any hooks or anything like, I'll do it
for free. And somebody called me and then my name
just kind of got drowned. And then I ended up
working with Hueye, and I ended up working with Nelly.
What damn Yeah the song out with Nelly? Yeah no, no,
the song never came out. But I used to like
go in the studio and basically just like demo female
vocals for them for whatever they were writing.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
So very cool and that is wonderful.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Ye see, that's a serendipitous moment right there. Yeah, And
I were meant to work there. You were meant to
meet those people walking outside that one day and be like, yo,
I riff.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
But I put myself in those positions though, like and honestly,
like I was in every closet studio in Saint Louis,
like the sketchiest of sketchy areas, and like I just
went and did it because I wanted it that bad,
and I did whatever I needed to do. I used
to clock out at my job where I was bartending
(18:44):
at three am, drive like forty five minutes to Nelly's
studio and I'd be there until like eight o'clock in
the morning, and then I would go home, shower, sleep
for like two hours, and then get up and go
back to work at four.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
They're like, let's get started at three forty five am.
That's our het, that's our.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
They would just be like in the middle of it
because like you you don't, Yeah, that's that hip hop brine. Yeah,
it's not like Nashville, where like they sit down and
they're like, we have four hours Strida song and then
everybody's clocking out today. It's like they are they are
their son up to Sunday they're in.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
It's so creative, just like juices flowing.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, and your juices.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Get flowing at four am, like you're on fire.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Then bottles of all that. Yeah, food everywhere were the
most creative. Yeah, and they would just they would, but
they would just be part of that. Yeah, last time
that happened to you, you bought a drum set.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I was like a trumper. I guess I need twelve
sets bulkheads. And then my ADHD.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Kicked in and I went, I actually sitting right out there. Yeah,
two kids.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Garth Brooks gave me one.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Oh wow, and then I just happened upon another one,
and I drummed for like two months.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Happened upon it. She sought it out somewhere in Kentucky.
She missed her appointment for.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
She thought me a really weirdness appointment, and I wound.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Thought I was dying of skin cancer.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I mean, I bought a drum set, but I'm dying
of something different every day. I know. I am an idiot.
I have an adhd Are.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
You one of those? Are you one of those?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Like I have a headache? Oh no? And I have
brains oh very much? Yeah yeah, I have such bad anxiety.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Oh I don't fully The reason why I thought I
was dying from skin cancer is because they said you
have melanoma.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, oh no, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I was having a hard time digesting.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Oh the information.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It's one of my favorite.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
But I got it all taken out and I'm good, amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, yeah, no, I haven't actually had the cancer, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Right, you're just like I could. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
Whatever we're on going to die, Who cares, Let's just
have fun doing it.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
When did you move to Nato? I was just gonna
ask the head You wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, it's an idiot. We're like the same person.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Now. I could just sit here and just watch you
to It's bad interact.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
I don't know if we should have a podcast though,
because sometimes we get so deep in Mari and Taran
that we're like.
Speaker 9 (21:15):
That's so good, So deep and Mari and Tarran. That's
the touch up after dark. Yeah, that's where where.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
We write rap songs and smoke weed.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Take your pants off, say a while, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Take your pants off episode. So I lived in Nashville
three years ago, almost four years ago. That's it. That's
it because I was working in Saint Louis for a
really long time. Did that whole thing with the record label,
went independent, took to the Internet. And this is just
me like fast forwarding through so much, but went to
(21:52):
the internet. Facebook is the platform that I decided to tackle.
Did that you tackled?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I did any followers?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
You have? Did almost three million?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Facebook?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
But Facebook was first.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
Form because I feel like most people go right to
TikTok or Instagram.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Instagram was like barely a thing in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Oh that's when. Yeah, it's the timeline. Yeah, so you're smart.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, in twenty fifteen, like Instagram was like barely a thing,
and I was still trying to navigate that. And I
just would record videos of me singing nineties country songs
and my parents stares, and would upload them and they
would just get millions and millions of yews.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
So you always loved country music, Okay, so you transitioned
from the saltligan you went, oh, you know what I
think country is?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Sure, here's my love here's.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Why, guys. I was writing country music, but it was
just being produced as like R and B music. Yeah,
and so I was realizing that I just didn't have
the right team, and so when we decided to split,
I just okay. So I also had a lot of
that like hustle and bust will go go go, like
I want to work twenty four to seven in me
at that time, and they my label was kind of
giving me like a just just wait, like we've we've
(23:03):
got it handled. And I was like, what would you
think if I started? I will never forget this. We
were like sitting at a Mexican restaurant, me and my
label head, and I was like, what would you think
if I just started posting like cover videos of me
on Facebook and just seeing what they do? Like I'm
seeing this was right when Caane Brown started to gain
like traction because you know he's got what he did?
Speaker 5 (23:22):
Yeah, famous, wasn't he on a one of the shows
like a Facebook?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I thought it was American is beautiful. I've been to
his house. He has a great life.
Speaker 9 (23:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Well Facebook, Facebook, Uh huh. I'll never forget when I
found him for the first time. Damn. Okay, Well, yeah,
and he used to sing Randy Travis in his bathroom
and just it would just go crazy, and I was like,
I can do this, and so that's what I started
doing and it just started popping off. And then I
did a cover of Joe Lene and this was my
(23:58):
like big cover that I guess I'm still kind of
known for. But it got like eighty million views on Facebook.
That's that's that's a couple in twenty fifteen. That's a couple.
So if it was today, you'd probably be crazy.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Seventy five mode.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Ties on Facebook. Then No, you've got to be kidding.
How dare them? They should backlock you?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yeah, that's rude, I know, but it's okay Facebook, I
kind of do.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I had a moment
sometimes I snap Mark.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
If you're listening, Mark's oh I love on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
We're here, Oh, Mark Zuckerberg.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Oh, Becky Baseball came out.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
It's this actually it's inside High.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all had Becky Baseball
was on our team.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Oh yeah, real you know the one where you.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
See it on Facebook ten years later and you're like,
of course, yeah, married happily now to Rebecca.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, oh yeah, we love that for you.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
We love we got So you should have come out
when you were seventeen year everyone knew.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
See and the chads would have like been mean to that.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
It was a different time.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
It was a different Yeah now you're gay, you're gay? Yeah,
gay gay gay. You know. We had I had a
few people on my team. I think it was probably
about maybe sixteen. Yeah, sixteen seventeen is when people you
would start to see like, you know, we went on
the tournaments, people getting closer in the hot tubs and
stuff like that, you know what I mean, and you're
(25:29):
just like, oh, okay, cool, like that's where they're going with it.
But then like some of them went back like it
was like they're like yeah yeah, and I was just
like okay. So that's when you look back and you're
like we were in our experimental days. Oh I had
(25:50):
usually the college days were girls softball girls when yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
The tournaments, it was the tournaments.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Yeah, in some holiday in hot tub when all the
parents were drunk up in someone else's room. You guys
were all like, you're cute ball short.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Yeah, and Steve were like.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
We're gonna call it a night's eight o'clock. We're gonna
get a little early bird. You girls just have a
good time, enjoy your pillow fights.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
And everybody scissored.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah, not saying you partook in any of this specifically,
but we're also sad we're talking about didn't. Switching subjects,
let's talk about ex husband.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yay, tell us about that loser. Oh my gosh, Oh
that was well when I when we first met, was
I in the middle of that? Oh you were done
with it? Oh, we were done with it.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I've only known you a year. I met Nate almost
a year ago.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Oh okay, well then yeah, yeah, okay, well then, yeah,
I was definitely done with it by then. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
No.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
So I met my ex when we were in high school,
and we kind of hung out with the same people,
but he went to a different school. You know how,
like the small towns, they're just kind of all kind
of butt up next to each other. So it's just like, Okay,
you can take a ten minute drive and you're in
(27:26):
a different town. So our high school, some of the
girls in our high school hung out with some of
the guys in his high school, and anyways, our friends
started dating. We met, we were like sixteen, we had
like a little fling whatever. I ended up getting back
with my ex, he got back with his didn't see
him for a long time, and then met again when
(27:46):
we were twenty. And the only reason why I know
as twenty is because we were had fake id's and
we saw each other at the only bar that takes
the fake id's.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, so it's like we're all underage here. I remember
having Yeah. Yeah, I looked nothing like mine.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Dude, somebody found an I d Her name was like
Maria scott Arano from somewhere on Long Island, and she
looked like me.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yeah. Yes, it was a wild So many people look.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Like there's a I have one of those spaces that
but somebody found an idea that was and it was.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Clutch, all right, yeah, wow, amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Something super Yeah, and she was a perfect age.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
It was like twenty three or something. So it was
I want you to be a drink.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
Well country what she was to no idea obviously.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Oh yeah. So we we met each other then and
again and then got together, broke up about a year
later when our separate ways for a year, Yeah, got
back together again. A couple of facts, yeah, you know,
and then excited to get married, got married, got forced,
(29:04):
brought an album about it? Okay, and how long were
you married? A year? Actually two? I think I'm gonna
be honest when it comes to I don't even know
what my wedding anniversary was. I don't know. You don't
the Eternal I think it was.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
A trauma response, Wow, eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, seriously, Yeah, I don't remember it at all.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Do you remember the season? Yea, was it all?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah? It was in September, But I don't know, like
the like actual date.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Did you have a whole big wedding.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah, it was the whole and you don't remember the date.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Great, let's keep it that way. But what happened that
you were like, I'm done, we're out, I'm out.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Well, a lot of things throughout the years, and then
you know, we got to the point where, uh, you
get we just okay. So when you're twenty one, the
things that matter to you when you're dating somebody are
you know, Oh, your parents own the bar down the street,
(30:09):
and all of our friends go there and hang out together,
and this feels like this would be a fun summer thing. Yeah,
you know what, I mean yeah, and then years go
by and I have an anxious attachment style anyways, and i'd.
Speaker 5 (30:25):
Become I've never heard that both words put together, that
ancient anxious attachment style.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Yeah, so please elaborate you back. You're like, oh my god,
what the going on? Yeah, and you like can't.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
You're already on chapter seven. It hasn't happened yet, you're
writing a whole story, yea, yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
People are mad at you all the time.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Yeah. Ultimately, like you'll just like make up scenarios in
your head that you might have said or done for
somebody to be mad at you.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And they're like, they're like, yeah, it's overthinking.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Anxiety attachment.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Yeah, anxiety attachment attachment, attachment attachment. It was like an anxious.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Anxious attachment disorder style style. Well it is now, I
guess it is. It is.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
I mean, I definitely feel like I have a disorder
when I'm in that like cycle of like, oh me too,
spirally because somebody didn't text me back.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
It gets better, though, babe.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
I'm one hundred and seven and I'm here to tell
you that it's way better from here on out.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
You look.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
These little sweaters with dogs on them make me so happy,
crochet and I just I.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Don't get mad when people don't text me back. You
do the dogs, I do the ruffles.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
And let's sit together with a perfect little girl even
though we're cintherin our baseball friends.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Everybody, you got a part time job at Jay Crew?
I look like I work at Jay Crew. Let me
tell you something. I have done a lot of podcasts.
I have never laughed this hard on a podcast. Never. Never.
I love it. Listen. That's the point, right, it's so good. Look.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I hope everybody's podcast works out for them are as included.
But I feel like there's people start podcasts to like
hear themselves talk and seem important or I don't know.
Everybody has different I don't want to say what their
reasons are.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
But we listen to so many when we were like
we should start a podcast, okay, cool, and.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Then we started doing so much research and we're like, okay,
the common thread is not a lot of them are
funny and fun and silly and weird.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
And joyful and lighthearted and like a nice easy listen,
Like you could be in the car right now and
just go this is great. I just got where I
needed to go in a very fun manner.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
And it's yeah, and it's relatable in some way because
none of us know what we're doing and it's all
funny and we're all messing up and being dumb and
saying the wrong information and we all have ADHD.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
And we're like, we're educating on you in so much
prost knowledge about our experience.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Excited to get into that.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
I know we'll get into that, because there's Charlotte Tilbery
has new fragrance waits.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh we love fragwances you.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
We we want my mouth.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
I thought I was taller's a charm.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
No help.
Speaker 5 (33:47):
Hell yeah, I know, bro, that happened to me.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Actually, look at don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
We're opick sockings. Okay, it's I never have a.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
Good that happened to me the first time I drank
from it, and I may I did a content BT
s b V.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
T all what when BT.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
What happen?
Speaker 7 (34:15):
But move it over, move it over, Okay it's part
of the.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
And I didn't. I didn't like delete it.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
I just let it fly and I missed my mouth
and tried to you know, this whole thing, and tagged
them and they wrote back and they were.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Like, hey, you can also like open it from the sun.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
Shut up water. That'll teach them you Facebook and fox water. Yeah, actually,
thank you for all.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
I think you really appreciate.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
We got to say hydrated. I think we were on
the diorse story. No. Oh, so you were asking when
the red flag starts when you're like, I'm out. Well,
first of all, I just want to say really quick,
like there was never a time when like the downfall
of our relationship was all him. It was definitely both
(35:17):
of us always, yeah, And I fully fully own up
to that and was not the healthiest mentally through it either,
especially at the end, and because being with somebody that
you're not in love with anymore and realizing that and
trying to have conversation about how do we amicably split
(35:42):
and them not entertaining that at all.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
He was like, what are you talking about? Or madly
in love?
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Exactly?
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I love you, you love me so much, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
What are you talking about. We literally don't talk, we
don't communicate. There was a lot of money issues and
five being constantly ultimate toxicity. Yeah and yeah, it was
just super unhealthy at the end, super unhealthy, and I
(36:14):
wanted out of it so badly because I knew how
it was going to end, and I knew that if
we could just come to terms with the fact that
we just aren't the people we used to be and
that's okay. And he just was like, no, you're not
(36:36):
leaving and we're not getting a divorce and no, that's
and uh and you know, that was frustrating, and that's
where a lot of my anger came from. And the
in the last bit of it when I said, like,
(36:57):
I was not not nice, you know. And how long
did that was that span of time? Oh? Six months.
It's a long six months. And at this time we
were separated already, so I was this was actually it
(37:17):
was the worst, probably around Christmas time twenty twenty two,
because we were having to just pretend we were together
for the family fun Christmas. We are your Christmas sweaters?
Yeah seriously, and then like everyone could tell because we
(37:39):
didn't talk the entire time.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
Oh god, there's nothing worse than ag Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Yeah, we were just like gross, you know. And I
wasn't my mom at the time was actually staying with us,
and I wasn't sleeping.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
In your mom at the time, well, my mom at
the time at the time she.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Quit, wait rest in peace. She quit.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
She said, I don't want to be your mom anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
She's probably thought that a few times.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
She was like, I can't let go.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I don't want to be your mom anymore. So sorry,
I'm proud of you. So at the time, my mother
was my mother, and my and my father were living
with us, but mostly my mom because they were coming back.
They were coming back from Florida and kind of making
the transition of moving back to where we're from, and
(38:36):
so they were just kind of staying with us for
a little bit. My mom noticed that I wasn't sleeping
in the room I was going to clearly, I was
just sleeping on the couch, and I would just kind
of like pretend to Oh, we were watching TV, and
I fell asleep out here, and he went to bed,
you know, and then ended up just telling her what
(38:59):
was going on. And Yeah, it all moved really slow
after that because he held on with all of his might.
And that broke my heart, it really did, because there
was nothing I knew, There was nothing he could say
or do to make it better.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
Yeah, and when you know, it's just as painful breaking
somebody else's heart.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, it was so devastating. I was living with Beth,
and I would just burst into tears upstairs, just NonStop.
And she would just bring the bottle of tequila to
me in that art We would just take a shot
and talk about it, and so I could calm down,
and you know, because I would be going into full
panic attacks, like this is eleven years with this man,
(39:44):
like I don't even know who I am.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Yeah, yeah, that's a long time.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Outside of this relationship. And I've never lived by myself,
you know, when I was thirty years old, have having
never lived alone, you know, and so I was just
like looking for apartments and trying to get my life
together by myself, and I would just have full blom
panic attacks. Yeah. And then I still didn't have his
number blocked, so he would call me. And the thing
(40:12):
with him is like I always he always had this
pole on me, like this hold on me. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (40:19):
And was it a connection thing that you've always went yeah?
Was it like a yeah or was it kind of
like a.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Mine like a No, it was like a connection.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
It was a connection.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah. Yeah, it was like you know, yeah, no, it
was very real like how I felt. So I had
a very unhealthy relationship. My first relationship I ever had
when I was from thirteen to fifteen, first boyfriend I
ever had, and all the first and all the things,
you know, and that I can look back on and say, oh,
that was like a trauma bond. Yeah, you know, and
(40:53):
that's what I never actually loved that man, you know,
I thought I did. But with Indy, note was very
real and very much a soul connection with him. And
I have never had never loved anybody that much in
my life, or that I would have literally laid in
front of a train and just you know, for them
if it meant that they would stay. So I just
(41:17):
it was hard to choose myself in that moment because
I was like, oh my gosh, it's never going to
get any better. And that was the moment where like
it all clicked and I was like, wait, there's no
more believing. I'm sorry, and I'll try harder. Yeah, Like
eleven years is long enough of trying, you know, Yes,
(41:39):
I see you.
Speaker 5 (41:41):
I was in a decade same. Yeah, the first time
I've lived alone. I'm same at forty four years old.
I have a seven year old daughter, so we share.
We're fifty to fifty wow.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
But in those weeks.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
When I'm alone, I'm like, yeah, are you going to do?
What do I do?
Speaker 5 (42:01):
I mean, I've been distracting myself, Like, but is it
recent it's like seven months?
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Oh wow, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
So now I'm trying to.
Speaker 5 (42:10):
Really like kind of understand what the concept of not
being alone. I like to replace the word with like
loneliness with like solitude. Sure what that feels like, but
just me without distractions from men or being out with
friends or doing whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
And I'm going, all right, this is a first for me.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know what a big thing for me too was
that I didn't realize until I started going to my
therapist was her saying, you have always found your like
your self love based on the amount that someone else
loves you. Yeah. Right, So like I was always like, oh,
if I have some a man in my life that
loves me so much, then I must be really great. Yeah,
(42:53):
And I always kind of judged my worth off of that. Yes,
And this was the first time that I had to
just be alone and be like, Okay, you're no less
now that you're by yourself and you don't have a
man that loves you. You still have a family, that loves you,
still have friends that love you. But still I always
will revert to that. It doesn't matter, like I should
(43:15):
love myself regardless of if I have anybody that loves me. Yeah,
And that is something you know in therapy that I've
been working really hard.
Speaker 5 (43:22):
It's also like a human it's who we are as
human human beings. We crave connection. That's what we want.
We want somebody you can be like, I'm whole, I
love myself, I'm gonna work.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I'm better every day, right, I go up and down.
Speaker 5 (43:35):
Self love is an every day, continuous thing that you're
going to have to journey that you work through the
rest of your life for sure.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
But at the end of the day, you want somebody
to look at you.
Speaker 5 (43:44):
And go if you are a queen, yeah, And you
go yeah, right, you know, like we want a partner.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
We all do.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
That's what life is is love and human connection and that.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
So you are a better version of yourself when you
have a partner who eventually you will find and you go, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
That's what it was. And I did. Yeah, and he's wonderful.
You guys are really cute. Yeah in your band he
is Oh yeah, he's drummer. No he is. Everyone loves
our drummer.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Carry on the cake, drump cake jump.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Wait, who's he single? Now? So hot? We're good?
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Is he just awesome or he's.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
The best and hot? So also very attractive, but he's
also just like the sweetest, sweetest soul. We also love
his wife.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
We love, we love him.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
But yes, my boyfriend. But his name is Rocko Rocco
and he is the guitar player music director in my band.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
That's so cool. I love that you guys get to
hang all the.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Time, non stop and it's amazing instant spark connection. So no,
not instant because I was married when we met.
Speaker 4 (45:05):
Yeah, it wasn't even on your radar.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
No, no, and he and so like he was double
not on my radar, like you know, I just he honestly,
Like it sounds so weird now, but like I looked
at him like he's like my little brother. Yeah, you know,
he's five five.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Years younger than me.
Speaker 5 (45:24):
Say what do you say, four foot seventh, my younger brother,
because he's four foot seven.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Because he's a weird at eleven. Yeah, no, I never
looked at him like that. It was weird. It was
just it didn't register that way, but I I met
him pretty serendipitous, actually, which a lot of things in
my in my life are. It seems very like invisible string.
Like God, wow, we literally we were just talking about
(45:55):
the invisible string.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Yeah, visible strings with Jenn Yeah said can yeah. With Janet, Yeah,
shan it.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
It sounds I think, Janet, you may have. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I just heard Janet invisible string.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Crazy. Yeah. God puts me in places in my life
before I ever actually end up there constantly, and it's
very strange. Yeah, And I have a bunch of instances
like that. But currently even where I live, like Beth
and I have a picture of the first billboard that
I spent like my literal last dollar on it, like
(46:30):
overdrafted my account to put up to promote my single
four years ago, five years ago, and uh, we have
a picture in front of it and behind it, like
the cranes are building my apartment building I currently live in,
and now when I look directly down, it's the it's
the billboard. It's the first first thing I ever bought
(46:50):
in Nashville to promote myself with my last dollar. Ine. Yeah,
and then if you look out my anyways, I'll tell
you that later, but uh no, it's beautiful and so cool.
Speaker 5 (47:00):
I love I love me God, And those are signs,
signs everywhere, signs.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Oh so I feel my angels all the time.
Speaker 5 (47:06):
I see numbers daily, and at this point in my life,
because it's like everybody else, I'm like, why not me?
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Why not me?
Speaker 5 (47:13):
Keep it coming, because it's just making me strong, just
building me. It's continuing to build me.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
That is so wild that you say that, because I
feel like I've hit my like my point in my
life where I'm like I used to be the kind
of person who was like why would that ever happen
for me? You know? And I'm at the like why
not me? Point? You know, like I truly think with
(47:39):
everything that I've overcome, like I've hit the like get
switch and I'm like I can literally do anything. Yeah,
ye awesome, I can literally Like I've hit that super
power point where I'm like, sure, give me a little
bit of time, I can do it like I will.
I can learn anything, Like I pick up new crafts
and things all the time, and like you just taught myself,
(48:00):
I had to crochet, teaching myself how to Embroider right now,
Like you know, just things that I'm like, But I
would have been like, oh my god, I could never
learn how to do that. And I've just hit the
point in my life where I'm like, I'm going to
make the music I want to make. I'm going to
put it out on my own time. I'm going to
learn new and I don't look at the CMA Awards
(48:21):
next year and be like, I'll never be up there.
I'm like, why why couldn't I be up there? Why
couldn't you know? You will?
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
But I believe it when I say it, and it's
not just me like hyping myself up. I'm like you,
I truly think I can do anything, and like, if
I work hard enough, I think I can do it.
Speaker 5 (48:37):
Did you is this like a new found feeling or
version of you that you felt stuck in your marriage
and you were a little bit more complacent and you
didn't have that confidence that you do right now.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Honestly, I'm just not scared of anything anymore. Yeah, I'm
truly not scared of anything because of what I just
went through. That that was the most horrific thing I
have ever experienced. And if I can get through that.
Speaker 5 (49:00):
I like to I like to say, if if the
universe or God, or if you're brave enough to say goodbye,
God will show you a new Hello.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Yeah, Charlotte Tillbury has perfumes?
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Oh is this a new Oh?
Speaker 4 (49:18):
Woods, God, I Charlotte, could you imagine if that's how
I actually.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
Have?
Speaker 4 (49:39):
And all of her packaging is just so stunning, so good.
So let's smell these and see what's good and bad.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
You have a lovely sent on today, which.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
Is thank you bought it.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
For me for what Christmas? My birthday? Smell these?
Speaker 1 (49:58):
You smell these, I'll smell these.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Uh more sexy?
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Is this one? It impossible for you to get more sexy?
It's impossible. I am so pretty? Are these? Roll on?
This is nice.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
It's gonna smell insane in here in a minute. It's nice.
It's a little too fruity girly for this is a
little too floral for me.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Okay, okay, but we're heading there. Actually it's quite that's nice.
It's kind of nice.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Yeah, it's actually it's the mix.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Oh yeah, yeah, I love the word waft. It's good
and bad. Hold on, I gotta get that out before
I can see what this smells.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Usually wafted is like a stinky yeah, I gotta get
this out.
Speaker 5 (50:42):
A stinky waft Yeah, like someone like on an airplane
when you're like, who just waffed?
Speaker 1 (50:49):
But oh this is nice.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
I wouldn't call this floral. I don't know what I
would call it.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
This one's called holl bliss and that's what it smells like.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
I don't want to spre anymore. I'm just gonna smell you.
This one is cosmic power. Who I like this.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
It's just one magic energy Jachoria.
Speaker 5 (51:13):
So that's this smells like, Oh that's not This is
really nice. That almost reminds me of cool water.
Speaker 4 (51:22):
Oh my god, it's very cool water. It's very cool water.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
I need Did you smell this one? Oh? Look it's
blue too. She did it on purpose, She did a
little throwback. Can I have this? Yeah? This is really
Wait and you take whatever you want?
Speaker 4 (51:38):
Yeah, yeah, take whatever you want except this one, except
for all of them.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
Take anything. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Yeah, thanks thanks for coming.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Please leave.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
Yourself so good.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
Who I have a question for you?
Speaker 2 (51:57):
What foundation are you wearing?
Speaker 1 (51:58):
I am wearing looks really good, but.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
Like Matt to your backstage.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Oh yeah, and when with.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
A brand of powder that I just bought, the Beauty
baking powder. Okay, that's probably what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
The do your show backstage is like very lightweight, is
it not? I really like it a lot.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Yeah. And then Tyla was filter. I love it so much?
Speaker 3 (52:22):
Who does wait? The foundation?
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Oh wait?
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (52:28):
The tin filter?
Speaker 4 (52:30):
Yeah, Like it's like like, yeah, your skin, this is
way too plorally.
Speaker 5 (52:37):
Do you do your makeup every night before you go
out on stage with I do?
Speaker 2 (52:42):
I do? I do do my own makeup.
Speaker 10 (52:47):
I don't know, Joe, I U Joe my own wrong,
Like I.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Don't know what what what accent was that? I don't know?
Speaker 3 (53:04):
And I really appreciate.
Speaker 2 (53:05):
Yeah, I try, I really did try. Accents aren't my thing.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
It wasn't even really accent.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
These are very feminine.
Speaker 3 (53:15):
Do you know a full beat down?
Speaker 2 (53:17):
I do? Yeah? And then I set. I feel like
setting for stage is like the most important and also
overdoing it because there's so many nights when I'm like,
I look so bombed, and then I go out there
and I see myself in video afterwards and I'm like, dude,
I'm washed out, Like it was not enough under the lights,
you know what I mean, Like I have to drag
(53:39):
it up che more cheek, Yeah, like really like do
the contour and the eyes? Do you love being? I do?
I love it? Yeah? What a dumb question? Paren I
love doesn't love? Who's gonna love people that are very nicole?
Speaker 3 (53:57):
Kidman, she loves everything.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
I don't know her from a hole in the wall
at all.
Speaker 5 (54:02):
But she likes to be pall and Proutrow's like six
feet old.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
She's not, no, she's just like, yeah, she's a ballerina. Yeah,
it's like a ballerina. Ye. It's contagious. So I've been,
you know, like it's it's just it's a habit to
every time I talk or make any noise, like put
the mic just like no, I like, I was like,
(54:31):
what the purposely you did it on the mic? Okay,
if you're going to show this part, go ahead and
roll me doing that? Phil, Sorry about that. Well yeah,
well we're softball girl, So we're a little ladies.
Speaker 4 (54:48):
Lay, we're little guys. We actually are new what are
they called pronouns?
Speaker 2 (54:56):
Are little and guy? Yeah like well okay, guy, you
know this is a little guy. Okay, just like guys.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah, let's do rapid fires.
Speaker 4 (55:07):
This is how we like to close out the podcast
is do it rapid fires.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
So get your titty, favorite day time product, favorite daytime products.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
So get ready and she's like, should take nam.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
She's like, hey, Siri, what's my favorite day.
Speaker 4 (55:24):
Time it's okay, favorite daytime product, favorite clip bloss, flip bloss, okay,
favorite night time products.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
Hyaluronic acid, like sleek.
Speaker 5 (55:38):
Hair or big hair, big hair, pail or tan tan
okay Matt or dewey skin, Matt middle partner, side part
middle individual, lashes or strip strip.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
If you could change your name, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Stephaniel? Okay? Cool? Steph means while my videographer step is.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Like every step and he's like my videographer, I was.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
Like shooting with her in the morning. Is that when
I said your name? I love? Wait? Can I go
back and say Alexandria so that everybody would actually get
my name right? Okay? Cream or powder blush cream? Okay?
Speaker 5 (56:29):
Day one or three hair three tucker untuck a hotel tuck.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
In all uses of that phrase. Okay, nice. Earlier it
was super dick. I don't know, guys. My second to
being a guest on this podcast. My dream is I
want to go on drag race so bad that my
(56:57):
dream Yeah, also acts us chuck or on. You have
a hotel bed? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (57:03):
What are aliens real?
Speaker 2 (57:07):
No?
Speaker 3 (57:07):
It's Santa real.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (57:09):
No.
Speaker 2 (57:11):
Who's your favorite celebrity you worked with? Jelly? If animals
could talk, which one would Which would be the rudest?
The cat a cat for sure?
Speaker 5 (57:18):
Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or one
hundred duck sized horses?
Speaker 2 (57:24):
One horseized duck for sure?
Speaker 3 (57:27):
Great question, Feldman, that is so good.
Speaker 2 (57:30):
Are you kidding? Dude?
Speaker 3 (57:32):
You added a lot to this list.
Speaker 5 (57:34):
There's a lot that's good.
Speaker 2 (57:37):
Horse sized duck or a hundred duck size horses?
Speaker 3 (57:45):
Did you and aj do right though?
Speaker 2 (57:47):
Chatb T Yeah, God, that's so good. Oh love it.
Speaker 3 (57:53):
I love your mind.
Speaker 2 (57:54):
But the hotel bed.
Speaker 4 (57:57):
Yeah, you know when you get into a hotel mad
do you untuck the sheets like a psychopathy?
Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (58:02):
Maybe I can see.
Speaker 5 (58:04):
You're finding more and more people are on tuckers. We
don't like to sleep in coffins.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
Oh I love to sleep in a coffin. It doesn't
bother me.
Speaker 2 (58:11):
How are you getting in there without on tucky?
Speaker 4 (58:14):
I mean I tuck it to get in, but I know,
maybe a little bit tuck everything, I don't pull it
all out.
Speaker 2 (58:20):
So you're just kind of like are You're just like
like a sleep and then you're just kind of like
getting in. I see the pocket. Okay, now I'm yeah dude,
who yeah whoao?
Speaker 3 (58:31):
Because also you are the problem to you?
Speaker 2 (58:34):
Hey, you you're the problem too. Great, thanks for stopping by.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
I'm at I know.
Speaker 5 (58:40):
On that note, I had a really fun time with you,
Alexander K.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (58:44):
Alexander KA. Tell everybody where they can find you.
Speaker 2 (58:46):
My name is Alexandra kay At Alexander K Music on
all social media platforms, and I've got a new album coming,
so stay tuned. My album that we spoke a lot
about today, All I've Ever Known is available on all
stream platform lack U.
Speaker 4 (59:03):
See you later, bye bye, see later bye.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
That was the funnest thing I've ever done.
Speaker 4 (59:10):
Thank you guys so much for tuning in to The
touch Up Podcast. Please follow us on Instagram at the
touch Up Podcast. Follow us on TikTok at the touch Up.
If you have any beauty questions, give us a ring
six one, five, three, three, eight, five nine five three,
see you later. Bye,
Well, Hi, get a little such up. Hi am Karen.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm Mari, and you're listening to the touch up. We
hope you're picking up what we're putting down.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hi, Karen, I really like your sweater to I don't
thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hi Mari, what do you got on there?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
They look like funny dogs.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I think one of them is busy yet.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Oh are they just different animals? I didn't even look.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
No, they're dogs. They're literally little puppies. Yeah, I think
they're They're very unbranded.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
That's a very cute Christian.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Christian gave this to me, and she's also a dog weirdo,
so that's a really good hand cute.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
It's very cute.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hi Alexander k Hi guy, welcome to the most chaotic Unhinged.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I know you beautiful chaos though. I know you're so
cute cute. I know I love that.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I think we should bring that back.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Thank you. I don't even know if it ever left.
I'm trying did it? I'm not sure? Maybe I'm just
three my mommy's.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
And feminine, but like still like with the boot, with
the the tough fairy, the tough.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Thank you, the top fairy.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
I can't but I will kill you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
And then you just put the tights on so you
don't have to shave your legs and it looks great. Yeah.
Leg do we call those purpose? Yes? I wear these
like non stop on stage. I'd never go on stage
without these because they make in the lights, they like
shimmer and they make your legs.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I literally notice like in all.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Your that your legs are perfect. It's yeah, it's these.
What's not? Actually? How do we buy them? Actually? Amazon? What? Yeah?
I get them off Amazon?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Are they like performance tight?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah? They're like ballerina tights? Oh so they do they? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
What what have different shades look like? Is it like
spanks up here?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Not?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Not really?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
That's like really tight? Can you tell us you take your.
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Here?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
We are? I know it's beauty. It's beauty. Is its
adjacent adjacent?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Speaking of being on the road, though, you've literally been
on like the biggest tour ever. I think Jilly Roll
is the biggest artist right now.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So see you later.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's so wild, the craziest hour ever.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
So wild, like so much fun. Every single day was
like I woke up and it was like felt like
a dream. Crazy, and especially since you know, I'm not
used to being able to even really have that much
time with the artists that I'm opening for. They usually
keep to themselves, but Jelly is just everywhere. He's just
a different kind of like he is.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
There is a video recently that I reposted of him
bringing inmates out from the local prison in Virginia, which
was I mean, I cried.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
That was incredible and they're saying on stage, yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
And they're all they were artists, really talented people too,
like hit rappers, and they did a whole whole little
performance and it was very it was it was a moment.
And then right after that they get shipped back and
they go back into their cells. But for that one
hour they got to you know, because what they what
do they do after when they're done?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
So they're giving them a platform.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
It's like, hey, there's another side to being incarcerated for
an artist, and this is this is my story and
it could happen to you too, and it could and
giving people a chance to be able to use that.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Platform forgetting you is in jail because it's just like
his life is just literally well that's his story completely.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I know. I just forget just in and out of
the system is entire life.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, once you're in your I mean like actually.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
But like that's why I think he continuously goes back
to all the jails and says like, I mean, because
these people aren't on death row that he's going to visit,
like they will usually get out one day, and so
he's just trying to keep their spirits up so that
they don't end up back in. Yeah. Yeah, because I
mean he got out and was just like, okay, full force,
here we go.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Well, and they don't do anything to better these men
either exactly, they don't give him any skills or you know,
they're so they have to just do.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
It all on their own.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
So I think that like his voice is is there's
there's a change to a shift, and people like that
are inspiring and we need more of that, and that's.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
A dope energy to be around.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I'm you're like, oh, it's incredible.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh my gosh. I love him so much. He just
calls me his little sister and and does anything he
can to help on any level. And just make sure
that I know that, you know, like last night a tour,
the last night of tour, we all went and had Yeah,
well it's over for me. Okay. So we went out
for two months with him, and then a whole different
(04:40):
set of openers came out for the last two weeks
of tour and then I go back out on bridgetone
for the bridge Stone show.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
So that no, I know, that's a very rare thing
for the headliner and the artist to just be there
with you.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Oh, for sure, that doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I'm nine times out of ten, I don't even get
to meet the person that I'm opening, for sure.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, it happens very often.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, it's a group thing. It's uh or we have
no communication. Yeah, and it's just kind.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Of doesn't the headliner pick.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
The not usually not all the time agent agents. Yeah,
and so it's yeah, exactly exactly. Everybody was like money,
that definitely helps, though, it definitely helps, like if you
have a personal relationship, which I already had a personal
(05:35):
relationship with Jelly, but Jelly hand picked us for this
tour and was like, I just want to take the
independent girl out because he told me at dinner when
that night he was like, I noticed that you weren't
getting you know, a lot of like big support, and
I wanted to, you know, give you that opportunity, and
I was like, thanks, man, like this changed everything for me.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Oh yeah, and did it? Yeah, I mean that's that's
a stupid question.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, I mean I know, but I.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I don't know for sure. For sure, it's a really
valid question because I mean, things happen for people all
the time and it doesn't necessarily Yeah, yeah, and all
that much.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
I remember like some you know, all we do is
work with artists, So I've I'm just like remembering people
being like I'm going on this tour. It's a lot
of money, but I feel like it's worth it for
my career, or I spent all this money on this
tour and it didn't do or like you know.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
So I just I don't. I don't know, but I'm
glad that it did good. Oh for sure, and you're
still independent, I am. Yeah, that is so dope that
you're not.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
With a label. Yeah, that is so bad. Good for you.
Thank you, gratulation, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, it's it's been. It's been super awesome for me
and in so many ways because Jelly has really been
super vocal about his support for me and for other
independent artists and so like. Not only was he kind
of taking me under his wing and introducing me to
people and letting me go into the radio rooms every
single night and meet radio people, so that I already
(07:08):
have those connections later down the road if I were
to take a single to radio, that I will have
met all those people already. Like he was just really
setting me up for success. But then he was bringing
me up every single night with the arena full yeah
during his show, and we would do should Have Been
a Cowboy together, and I would take the second the
(07:29):
second verse, and then he had me do this whole
bit where then he would step off and I would do, Man,
I feel like a woman by myself first or during
his set. That's psychotic, I know, and then grab me
and be like, let me tell you guys something before
he comes. She gets off of the stage. She is
an independent artist. Her and Beth have done this from
(07:51):
day one worked thereof Yeah, we would be just like crying.
We would just be crying. That's psychotic. Yeah, God, we
need That's what you like.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
I know.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
You love to hear when people are like jelly roll
is legit, and then you just keep hearing these stories about.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
How the word on the street is that is that
he's like.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
The most humble, the most grateful, because that's what you
do when.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You when you are grateful.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, I'm humble king. Yeah that's wild.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
And how long have you been in Nashville? I feel
like I don't know anything about you. You're from out
what's your mom's name?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Girl name is Susan. Shout out Susan in front of
the pot. Soon stay y'all. No, I'm I'm from a small,
small ish town Waterloo, Illinois. It's like, so you're a
Midwest girl. Yeah, Midwest girl, but near Saint Louis, Missouri.
(08:48):
So you just say you're from Illinois. Everybody's like, oh,
you're from Chicago. And it's like from like six hours
from there, right, So the closest city to me was
Saint Louis. I can get there in like thirty minutes.
And so I just kind of grew up going to
Saint Louis and got my first record deal with the
Saint Louis based record label in Hallaru twenty twelve, So
twenty twenty twenty one, okay, yankee, Yeah, And that was
(09:11):
my first kind of little bit into the machine. I
guess yes. And then did you grow up?
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Did you grow up like playing music? You were a
little girl, just I want to play country music.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I know. I did not like music at all.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I never said like I.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Was a video I was a gamer.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I was a softball player. Actually I was a softball
player like competitive same yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Also same same yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Wait really wait okay, hold on position.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Catch her third baseman?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Okay, catch her picture bro bro bro?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, oh my god, shud we start a league?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Wait? Can't I do? Miss it?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
All?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I ask people sometimes you just want to go outside
and have a catch.
Speaker 7 (10:07):
I know sometimes I didn't.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Did you play college ball?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
No? So we were kind of like born and bred
to play college ball, right, so like we played. I
had a really you know, not trying to say anything
bad about a great day to be a great day,
great day. I'm not trying to say anything bad about
my high school. But we didn't have the greatest softball team.
We lost consistently. So I would play with this team
(10:40):
and then I would go to my select team and
we were like nationally ranked like killers softball players. Like
it was like you bleed this sport and shortstop is
a you're a bad it was thank you.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
There's a lot of balls that are thrown your way.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Girl. Yeaht me quick. Yeah the agile Yeah, yeah, it was.
It was cool. It was It was a really great
time in my life. And I always thought i'd play college.
You're like, so then in the dugout, I started singing
some songs, so I was like that R.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Everyone was like, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
I'm sorry, you have a voice of an age.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I Also, they're redoing that. They're making like another league.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Of their own. I think really that where they're breaking.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Get it right on, get it right.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Nope, I can't get it right. Nope, I don't know.
I saw something. It's not real.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
It's a brown out.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Okay, it is a Disney Channel original movie.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
I saw Geena Davis. It wasn't their own. Okay forgetting go.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Continue.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I had a tiny stroke and we're back.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Oh so good up. But yeah, basically I was thinking
my entire life I would play college softball. Both my
sisters did. They both went on full ride scholarship to
college for softball, and I just when it came down
to it, went to my parents went and did you
know all the like the college interviews and tours, and
(12:18):
all the things and had you know, full rides on
the table for me to go, and that's impressive. What
schools didn't take them? So I had like Decatur University,
which is really close to where I'm from, and then
Robert Morris University, which is closer to where I'm from,
and so I just would like kind of went to
(12:39):
all of the ones that were more local because I
didn't want to go too far away and.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
You want your family to come to your games too.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
For sure. But I also was like at that point,
really working towards music. So I really didn't want to
leave Saint Louis because I had made such strides in
the city of just who I got to know and
really like, I don't know, immersed myself in like the
R and B hip hop culture in Saint Louis at
the time, And.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
So is that where you started like R and B?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
So my first record deal was second we have.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Like boys sexy, like do you have any really?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And I don't really know, but don't listen to the
first I am singing, but but I yeah, I just
had a conversation with my parents and just was like,
I I think I want to take you know, a
year off and I want to pursue music, and their
faces just turned completely white. And also at the time
(13:41):
I wanted to be I'd done a lot of musical
theater and I wanted to major in theater, which is
another reason why I wanted to go to Decater because
they'd like the number one theater. Yeah, they were like,
really really great theater department, and so I wanted to
go there. And then I was told, you cannot major
in theater and beyond scholarship for softball because.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
You can't do sports and yeah, yeah, cold, yeah music,
because they're just two different.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
And the seasons are at the same time. Yeah yeah,
So you know, when you're supposed to be in a
play like we have, we're in the middle of the
season and you just couldn't do it. So I was like, well,
then I'm not going to go here because that's what
I want to major in. And then I just made
the decision. I had that talk with a couple of
different schools and realized I couldn't really have my cake
and eat it too, and I was like, well, then
(14:25):
I'm just going to take this chance because I'm young
and if I don't try, I'll never know so.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I'm going to eat all that cake, my cake.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I'm actually gonna I never understood that expression.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I'm going to eat I'm going to eat that cake
and have your cake and eat it too. Yes, I
do it all the time, all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
That's your cake, eat it. I'm starving.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I'm going to eat all and I'm eating it right now.
Yeah yeah yeah, And so, uh that's how I got here,
so you will, no, So I I took the time off.
My parents basically said you have a year. And this
is how just my parents were just not connected to
the music industry or Sue and Steve had no idea
(15:08):
how hard it was to pursue a career in music.
And so they said, you have a year to sign
a record deal. This is what they told me when
I'm eighteen years old. And they said, or you need
to go find somewhere else to live and like, you know,
go work and support yourself if you're not going to
go to college. Otherwise you can live here while you're
going to school. And so I said, okay, give me
a year whatever, and then I signed my first record
(15:29):
deal in eight months. I think a yeah, so write
a single piece of paper. Yeah, no, it was it
was like a you know, a local record label. It
was an independent record deal. So basically I signed. I
did what they wanted me to do. They funded, you know,
(15:51):
my first few singles. They took some things to radio,
and it was a good situation. We just weren't seeing
eye to eye on who I was as an artist,
and it was I was signed as like a like
an R and B. I guess hip hop that lane,
and I didn't know who I was and hadn't really
found my own sound yet, and so we decided to split.
(16:12):
And at this time, I was like heavy and I
was working at this four seasons hotel in Saint Louis.
I was everything there. I was in the room service
and I was the hostess in the restaurant. I was
in laundry summertime. I was serving your drinks at the pool.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Every time you turn around, excuse me spot.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, because I was a hustler, I was like, oh,
the spas got hours, give me that blue shirt. What
do I need to do? Full the towel school, I'm
in there.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
I don't have my license. I'm probably going to get.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They're like, no, you're gonna go take all the dirty
tails out and then fold the clean ones. And I'm like, cool,
I'll do that for eight hours if I'm getting paid.
And so I was just a hustler, like I was
just ready to make money and work and way that
I could. And so anyways, I met when I was
working in the restaurant, I met some guys that were
in back of the house who were rappers. And I
(17:12):
smoked cigarettes at this time, and so I, yeah, you know, that's.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
Like yeahgarette, yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
So I would go down and have my little smoke
break and these guys would be down there smoking weed
or whatever they were wrapped. They would be just like rapping.
I know, this sounds like it's a setup for a movie.
It's beginning by in each other. There are tracks like
their new stuff and whatever. And I just one day
was like, yo, I sing and like, if you guys
(17:52):
ever need any hooks or anything like, I'll do it
for free. And somebody called me and then my name
just kind of got drowned. And then I ended up
working with Hueye, and I ended up working with Nelly.
What damn Yeah the song out with Nelly? Yeah no, no,
the song never came out. But I used to like
go in the studio and basically just like demo female
vocals for them for whatever they were writing.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
So very cool and that is wonderful.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Ye see, that's a serendipitous moment right there. Yeah, And
I were meant to work there. You were meant to
meet those people walking outside that one day and be like, yo,
I riff.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
But I put myself in those positions though, like and honestly,
like I was in every closet studio in Saint Louis,
like the sketchiest of sketchy areas, and like I just
went and did it because I wanted it that bad,
and I did whatever I needed to do. I used
to clock out at my job where I was bartending
(18:44):
at three am, drive like forty five minutes to Nelly's
studio and I'd be there until like eight o'clock in
the morning, and then I would go home, shower, sleep
for like two hours, and then get up and go
back to work at four.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
They're like, let's get started at three forty five am.
That's our het, that's our.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
They would just be like in the middle of it
because like you you don't, Yeah, that's that hip hop brine. Yeah,
it's not like Nashville, where like they sit down and
they're like, we have four hours Strida song and then
everybody's clocking out today. It's like they are they are
their son up to Sunday they're in.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
It's so creative, just like juices flowing.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, and your juices.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Get flowing at four am, like you're on fire.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Then bottles of all that. Yeah, food everywhere were the
most creative. Yeah, and they would just they would, but
they would just be part of that. Yeah, last time
that happened to you, you bought a drum set.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I was like a trumper. I guess I need twelve
sets bulkheads. And then my ADHD.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Kicked in and I went, I actually sitting right out there. Yeah,
two kids.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Garth Brooks gave me one.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Oh wow, and then I just happened upon another one,
and I drummed for like two months.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Happened upon it. She sought it out somewhere in Kentucky.
She missed her appointment for.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
She thought me a really weirdness appointment, and I wound.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Thought I was dying of skin cancer.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I mean, I bought a drum set, but I'm dying
of something different every day. I know. I am an idiot.
I have an adhd Are.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
You one of those? Are you one of those?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Like I have a headache? Oh no? And I have
brains oh very much? Yeah yeah, I have such bad anxiety.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Oh I don't fully The reason why I thought I
was dying from skin cancer is because they said you
have melanoma.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, oh no, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I was having a hard time digesting.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Oh the information.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It's one of my favorite.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
But I got it all taken out and I'm good, amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, yeah, no, I haven't actually had the cancer, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Right, you're just like I could. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
Whatever we're on going to die, Who cares, Let's just
have fun doing it.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
When did you move to Nato? I was just gonna
ask the head You wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, it's an idiot. We're like the same person.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Now. I could just sit here and just watch you
to It's bad interact.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
I don't know if we should have a podcast though,
because sometimes we get so deep in Mari and Taran
that we're like.
Speaker 9 (21:15):
That's so good, So deep and Mari and Tarran. That's
the touch up after dark. Yeah, that's where where.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
We write rap songs and smoke weed.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Take your pants off, say a while, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Take your pants off episode. So I lived in Nashville
three years ago, almost four years ago. That's it. That's
it because I was working in Saint Louis for a
really long time. Did that whole thing with the record label,
went independent, took to the Internet. And this is just
me like fast forwarding through so much, but went to
(21:52):
the internet. Facebook is the platform that I decided to tackle.
Did that you tackled?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I did any followers?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
You have? Did almost three million?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Facebook?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
But Facebook was first.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
Form because I feel like most people go right to
TikTok or Instagram.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Instagram was like barely a thing in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Oh that's when. Yeah, it's the timeline. Yeah, so you're smart.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, in twenty fifteen, like Instagram was like barely a thing,
and I was still trying to navigate that. And I
just would record videos of me singing nineties country songs
and my parents stares, and would upload them and they
would just get millions and millions of yews.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
So you always loved country music, Okay, so you transitioned
from the saltligan you went, oh, you know what I
think country is?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Sure, here's my love here's.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Why, guys. I was writing country music, but it was
just being produced as like R and B music. Yeah,
and so I was realizing that I just didn't have
the right team, and so when we decided to split,
I just okay. So I also had a lot of
that like hustle and bust will go go go, like
I want to work twenty four to seven in me
at that time, and they my label was kind of
giving me like a just just wait, like we've we've
(23:03):
got it handled. And I was like, what would you
think if I started? I will never forget this. We
were like sitting at a Mexican restaurant, me and my
label head, and I was like, what would you think
if I just started posting like cover videos of me
on Facebook and just seeing what they do? Like I'm
seeing this was right when Caane Brown started to gain
like traction because you know he's got what he did?
Speaker 5 (23:22):
Yeah, famous, wasn't he on a one of the shows
like a Facebook?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I thought it was American is beautiful. I've been to
his house. He has a great life.
Speaker 9 (23:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Well Facebook, Facebook, Uh huh. I'll never forget when I
found him for the first time. Damn. Okay, Well, yeah,
and he used to sing Randy Travis in his bathroom
and just it would just go crazy, and I was like,
I can do this, and so that's what I started
doing and it just started popping off. And then I
did a cover of Joe Lene and this was my
(23:58):
like big cover that I guess I'm still kind of
known for. But it got like eighty million views on Facebook.
That's that's that's a couple in twenty fifteen. That's a couple.
So if it was today, you'd probably be crazy.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Seventy five mode.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Ties on Facebook. Then No, you've got to be kidding.
How dare them? They should backlock you?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yeah, that's rude, I know, but it's okay Facebook, I
kind of do.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I had a moment
sometimes I snap Mark.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
If you're listening, Mark's oh I love on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
We're here, Oh, Mark Zuckerberg.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Oh, Becky Baseball came out.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
It's this actually it's inside High.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all had Becky Baseball
was on our team.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Oh yeah, real you know the one where you.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
See it on Facebook ten years later and you're like,
of course, yeah, married happily now to Rebecca.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, oh yeah, we love that for you.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
We love we got So you should have come out
when you were seventeen year everyone knew.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
See and the chads would have like been mean to that.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
It was a different time.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
It was a different Yeah now you're gay, you're gay? Yeah,
gay gay gay. You know. We had I had a
few people on my team. I think it was probably
about maybe sixteen. Yeah, sixteen seventeen is when people you
would start to see like, you know, we went on
the tournaments, people getting closer in the hot tubs and
stuff like that, you know what I mean, and you're
(25:29):
just like, oh, okay, cool, like that's where they're going with it.
But then like some of them went back like it
was like they're like yeah yeah, and I was just
like okay. So that's when you look back and you're
like we were in our experimental days. Oh I had
(25:50):
usually the college days were girls softball girls when yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
The tournaments, it was the tournaments.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Yeah, in some holiday in hot tub when all the
parents were drunk up in someone else's room. You guys
were all like, you're cute ball short.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Yeah, and Steve were like.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
We're gonna call it a night's eight o'clock. We're gonna
get a little early bird. You girls just have a
good time, enjoy your pillow fights.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
And everybody scissored.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah, not saying you partook in any of this specifically,
but we're also sad we're talking about didn't. Switching subjects,
let's talk about ex husband.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yay, tell us about that loser. Oh my gosh, Oh
that was well when I when we first met, was
I in the middle of that? Oh you were done
with it? Oh, we were done with it.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I've only known you a year. I met Nate almost
a year ago.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Oh okay, well then yeah, yeah, okay, well then, yeah,
I was definitely done with it by then. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
No.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
So I met my ex when we were in high school,
and we kind of hung out with the same people,
but he went to a different school. You know how,
like the small towns, they're just kind of all kind
of butt up next to each other. So it's just like, Okay,
you can take a ten minute drive and you're in
(27:26):
a different town. So our high school, some of the
girls in our high school hung out with some of
the guys in his high school, and anyways, our friends
started dating. We met, we were like sixteen, we had
like a little fling whatever. I ended up getting back
with my ex, he got back with his didn't see
him for a long time, and then met again when
(27:46):
we were twenty. And the only reason why I know
as twenty is because we were had fake id's and
we saw each other at the only bar that takes
the fake id's.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, so it's like we're all underage here. I remember
having Yeah. Yeah, I looked nothing like mine.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Dude, somebody found an I d Her name was like
Maria scott Arano from somewhere on Long Island, and she
looked like me.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yeah. Yes, it was a wild So many people look.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Like there's a I have one of those spaces that
but somebody found an idea that was and it was.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Clutch, all right, yeah, wow, amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Something super Yeah, and she was a perfect age.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
It was like twenty three or something. So it was
I want you to be a drink.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
Well country what she was to no idea obviously.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Oh yeah. So we we met each other then and
again and then got together, broke up about a year
later when our separate ways for a year, Yeah, got
back together again. A couple of facts, yeah, you know,
and then excited to get married, got married, got forced,
(29:04):
brought an album about it? Okay, and how long were
you married? A year? Actually two? I think I'm gonna
be honest when it comes to I don't even know
what my wedding anniversary was. I don't know. You don't
the Eternal I think it was.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
A trauma response, Wow, eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, seriously, Yeah, I don't remember it at all.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Do you remember the season? Yea, was it all?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah? It was in September, But I don't know, like
the like actual date.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Did you have a whole big wedding.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah, it was the whole and you don't remember the date.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Great, let's keep it that way. But what happened that
you were like, I'm done, we're out, I'm out.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Well, a lot of things throughout the years, and then
you know, we got to the point where, uh, you
get we just okay. So when you're twenty one, the
things that matter to you when you're dating somebody are
you know, Oh, your parents own the bar down the street,
(30:09):
and all of our friends go there and hang out together,
and this feels like this would be a fun summer thing. Yeah,
you know what, I mean yeah, and then years go
by and I have an anxious attachment style anyways, and i'd.
Speaker 5 (30:25):
Become I've never heard that both words put together, that
ancient anxious attachment style.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Yeah, so please elaborate you back. You're like, oh my god,
what the going on? Yeah, and you like can't.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
You're already on chapter seven. It hasn't happened yet, you're
writing a whole story, yea, yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
People are mad at you all the time.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Yeah. Ultimately, like you'll just like make up scenarios in
your head that you might have said or done for
somebody to be mad at you.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And they're like, they're like, yeah, it's overthinking.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Anxiety attachment.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Yeah, anxiety attachment attachment, attachment attachment. It was like an anxious.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Anxious attachment disorder style style. Well it is now, I
guess it is. It is.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
I mean, I definitely feel like I have a disorder
when I'm in that like cycle of like, oh me too,
spirally because somebody didn't text me back.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
It gets better, though, babe.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
I'm one hundred and seven and I'm here to tell
you that it's way better from here on out.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
You look.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
These little sweaters with dogs on them make me so happy,
crochet and I just I.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Don't get mad when people don't text me back. You
do the dogs, I do the ruffles.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
And let's sit together with a perfect little girl even
though we're cintherin our baseball friends.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Everybody, you got a part time job at Jay Crew?
I look like I work at Jay Crew. Let me
tell you something. I have done a lot of podcasts.
I have never laughed this hard on a podcast. Never. Never.
I love it. Listen. That's the point, right, it's so good. Look.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I hope everybody's podcast works out for them are as included.
But I feel like there's people start podcasts to like
hear themselves talk and seem important or I don't know.
Everybody has different I don't want to say what their
reasons are.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
But we listen to so many when we were like
we should start a podcast, okay, cool, and.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Then we started doing so much research and we're like, okay,
the common thread is not a lot of them are
funny and fun and silly and weird.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
And joyful and lighthearted and like a nice easy listen,
Like you could be in the car right now and
just go this is great. I just got where I
needed to go in a very fun manner.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
And it's yeah, and it's relatable in some way because
none of us know what we're doing and it's all
funny and we're all messing up and being dumb and
saying the wrong information and we all have ADHD.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
And we're like, we're educating on you in so much
prost knowledge about our experience.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Excited to get into that.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
I know we'll get into that, because there's Charlotte Tilbery
has new fragrance waits.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh we love fragwances you.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
We we want my mouth.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
I thought I was taller's a charm.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
No help.
Speaker 5 (33:47):
Hell yeah, I know, bro, that happened to me.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Actually, look at don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
We're opick sockings. Okay, it's I never have a.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
Good that happened to me the first time I drank
from it, and I may I did a content BT
s b V.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
T all what when BT.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
What happen?
Speaker 7 (34:15):
But move it over, move it over, Okay it's part
of the.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
And I didn't. I didn't like delete it.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
I just let it fly and I missed my mouth
and tried to you know, this whole thing, and tagged
them and they wrote back and they were.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Like, hey, you can also like open it from the sun.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
Shut up water. That'll teach them you Facebook and fox water. Yeah, actually,
thank you for all.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
I think you really appreciate.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
We got to say hydrated. I think we were on
the diorse story. No. Oh, so you were asking when
the red flag starts when you're like, I'm out. Well,
first of all, I just want to say really quick,
like there was never a time when like the downfall
of our relationship was all him. It was definitely both
(35:17):
of us always, yeah, And I fully fully own up
to that and was not the healthiest mentally through it either,
especially at the end, and because being with somebody that
you're not in love with anymore and realizing that and
trying to have conversation about how do we amicably split
(35:42):
and them not entertaining that at all.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
He was like, what are you talking about? Or madly
in love?
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Exactly?
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I love you, you love me so much, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
What are you talking about. We literally don't talk, we
don't communicate. There was a lot of money issues and
five being constantly ultimate toxicity. Yeah and yeah, it was
just super unhealthy at the end, super unhealthy, and I
(36:14):
wanted out of it so badly because I knew how
it was going to end, and I knew that if
we could just come to terms with the fact that
we just aren't the people we used to be and
that's okay. And he just was like, no, you're not
(36:36):
leaving and we're not getting a divorce and no, that's
and uh and you know, that was frustrating, and that's
where a lot of my anger came from. And the
in the last bit of it when I said, like,
(36:57):
I was not not nice, you know. And how long
did that was that span of time? Oh? Six months.
It's a long six months. And at this time we
were separated already, so I was this was actually it
(37:17):
was the worst, probably around Christmas time twenty twenty two,
because we were having to just pretend we were together
for the family fun Christmas. We are your Christmas sweaters?
Yeah seriously, and then like everyone could tell because we
(37:39):
didn't talk the entire time.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
Oh god, there's nothing worse than ag Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Yeah, we were just like gross, you know. And I
wasn't my mom at the time was actually staying with us,
and I wasn't sleeping.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
In your mom at the time, well, my mom at
the time at the time she.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Quit, wait rest in peace. She quit.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
She said, I don't want to be your mom anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
She's probably thought that a few times.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
She was like, I can't let go.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I don't want to be your mom anymore. So sorry,
I'm proud of you. So at the time, my mother
was my mother, and my and my father were living
with us, but mostly my mom because they were coming back.
They were coming back from Florida and kind of making
the transition of moving back to where we're from, and
(38:36):
so they were just kind of staying with us for
a little bit. My mom noticed that I wasn't sleeping
in the room I was going to clearly, I was
just sleeping on the couch, and I would just kind
of like pretend to Oh, we were watching TV, and
I fell asleep out here, and he went to bed,
you know, and then ended up just telling her what
(38:59):
was going on. And Yeah, it all moved really slow
after that because he held on with all of his might.
And that broke my heart, it really did, because there
was nothing I knew, There was nothing he could say
or do to make it better.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
Yeah, and when you know, it's just as painful breaking
somebody else's heart.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, it was so devastating. I was living with Beth,
and I would just burst into tears upstairs, just NonStop.
And she would just bring the bottle of tequila to
me in that art We would just take a shot
and talk about it, and so I could calm down,
and you know, because I would be going into full
panic attacks, like this is eleven years with this man,
(39:44):
like I don't even know who I am.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Yeah, yeah, that's a long time.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Outside of this relationship. And I've never lived by myself,
you know, when I was thirty years old, have having
never lived alone, you know, and so I was just
like looking for apartments and trying to get my life
together by myself, and I would just have full blom
panic attacks. Yeah. And then I still didn't have his
number blocked, so he would call me. And the thing
(40:12):
with him is like I always he always had this
pole on me, like this hold on me. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (40:19):
And was it a connection thing that you've always went yeah?
Was it like a yeah or was it kind of
like a.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Mine like a No, it was like a connection.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
It was a connection.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah. Yeah, it was like you know, yeah, no, it
was very real like how I felt. So I had
a very unhealthy relationship. My first relationship I ever had
when I was from thirteen to fifteen, first boyfriend I
ever had, and all the first and all the things,
you know, and that I can look back on and say, oh,
that was like a trauma bond. Yeah, you know, and
(40:53):
that's what I never actually loved that man, you know,
I thought I did. But with Indy, note was very
real and very much a soul connection with him. And
I have never had never loved anybody that much in
my life, or that I would have literally laid in
front of a train and just you know, for them
if it meant that they would stay. So I just
(41:17):
it was hard to choose myself in that moment because
I was like, oh my gosh, it's never going to
get any better. And that was the moment where like
it all clicked and I was like, wait, there's no
more believing. I'm sorry, and I'll try harder. Yeah, Like
eleven years is long enough of trying, you know, Yes,
(41:39):
I see you.
Speaker 5 (41:41):
I was in a decade same. Yeah, the first time
I've lived alone. I'm same at forty four years old.
I have a seven year old daughter, so we share.
We're fifty to fifty wow.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
But in those weeks.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
When I'm alone, I'm like, yeah, are you going to do?
What do I do?
Speaker 5 (42:01):
I mean, I've been distracting myself, Like, but is it
recent it's like seven months?
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Oh wow, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
So now I'm trying to.
Speaker 5 (42:10):
Really like kind of understand what the concept of not
being alone. I like to replace the word with like
loneliness with like solitude. Sure what that feels like, but
just me without distractions from men or being out with
friends or doing whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
And I'm going, all right, this is a first for me.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know what a big thing for me too was
that I didn't realize until I started going to my
therapist was her saying, you have always found your like
your self love based on the amount that someone else
loves you. Yeah. Right, So like I was always like, oh,
if I have some a man in my life that
loves me so much, then I must be really great. Yeah,
(42:53):
And I always kind of judged my worth off of that. Yes,
And this was the first time that I had to
just be alone and be like, Okay, you're no less
now that you're by yourself and you don't have a
man that loves you. You still have a family, that loves you,
still have friends that love you. But still I always
will revert to that. It doesn't matter, like I should
(43:15):
love myself regardless of if I have anybody that loves me. Yeah,
And that is something you know in therapy that I've
been working really hard.
Speaker 5 (43:22):
It's also like a human it's who we are as
human human beings. We crave connection. That's what we want.
We want somebody you can be like, I'm whole, I
love myself, I'm gonna work.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I'm better every day, right, I go up and down.
Speaker 5 (43:35):
Self love is an every day, continuous thing that you're
going to have to journey that you work through the
rest of your life for sure.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
But at the end of the day, you want somebody
to look at you.
Speaker 5 (43:44):
And go if you are a queen, yeah, And you
go yeah, right, you know, like we want a partner.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
We all do.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
That's what life is is love and human connection and that.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
So you are a better version of yourself when you
have a partner who eventually you will find and you go, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
That's what it was. And I did. Yeah, and he's wonderful.
You guys are really cute. Yeah in your band he
is Oh yeah, he's drummer. No he is. Everyone loves
our drummer.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Carry on the cake, drump cake jump.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Wait, who's he single? Now? So hot? We're good?
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Is he just awesome or he's.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
The best and hot? So also very attractive, but he's
also just like the sweetest, sweetest soul. We also love
his wife.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
We love, we love him.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
But yes, my boyfriend. But his name is Rocko Rocco
and he is the guitar player music director in my band.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
That's so cool. I love that you guys get to
hang all the.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Time, non stop and it's amazing instant spark connection. So no,
not instant because I was married when we met.
Speaker 4 (45:05):
Yeah, it wasn't even on your radar.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
No, no, and he and so like he was double
not on my radar, like you know, I just he honestly,
Like it sounds so weird now, but like I looked
at him like he's like my little brother. Yeah, you know,
he's five five.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Years younger than me.
Speaker 5 (45:24):
Say what do you say, four foot seventh, my younger brother,
because he's four foot seven.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Because he's a weird at eleven. Yeah, no, I never
looked at him like that. It was weird. It was
just it didn't register that way, but I I met
him pretty serendipitous, actually, which a lot of things in
my in my life are. It seems very like invisible string.
Like God, wow, we literally we were just talking about
(45:55):
the invisible string.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Yeah, visible strings with Jenn Yeah said can yeah. With Janet, Yeah,
shan it.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
It sounds I think, Janet, you may have. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I just heard Janet invisible string.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Crazy. Yeah. God puts me in places in my life
before I ever actually end up there constantly, and it's
very strange. Yeah, And I have a bunch of instances
like that. But currently even where I live, like Beth
and I have a picture of the first billboard that
I spent like my literal last dollar on it, like
(46:30):
overdrafted my account to put up to promote my single
four years ago, five years ago, and uh, we have
a picture in front of it and behind it, like
the cranes are building my apartment building I currently live in,
and now when I look directly down, it's the it's
the billboard. It's the first first thing I ever bought
(46:50):
in Nashville to promote myself with my last dollar. Ine. Yeah,
and then if you look out my anyways, I'll tell
you that later, but uh no, it's beautiful and so cool.
Speaker 5 (47:00):
I love I love me God, And those are signs,
signs everywhere, signs.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Oh so I feel my angels all the time.
Speaker 5 (47:06):
I see numbers daily, and at this point in my life,
because it's like everybody else, I'm like, why not me?
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Why not me?
Speaker 5 (47:13):
Keep it coming, because it's just making me strong, just
building me. It's continuing to build me.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
That is so wild that you say that, because I
feel like I've hit my like my point in my
life where I'm like I used to be the kind
of person who was like why would that ever happen
for me? You know? And I'm at the like why
not me? Point? You know, like I truly think with
(47:39):
everything that I've overcome, like I've hit the like get
switch and I'm like I can literally do anything. Yeah,
ye awesome, I can literally Like I've hit that super
power point where I'm like, sure, give me a little
bit of time, I can do it like I will.
I can learn anything, Like I pick up new crafts
and things all the time, and like you just taught myself,
(48:00):
I had to crochet, teaching myself how to Embroider right now,
Like you know, just things that I'm like, But I
would have been like, oh my god, I could never
learn how to do that. And I've just hit the
point in my life where I'm like, I'm going to
make the music I want to make. I'm going to
put it out on my own time. I'm going to
learn new and I don't look at the CMA Awards
(48:21):
next year and be like, I'll never be up there.
I'm like, why why couldn't I be up there? Why
couldn't you know? You will?
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
But I believe it when I say it, and it's
not just me like hyping myself up. I'm like you,
I truly think I can do anything, and like, if
I work hard enough, I think I can do it.
Speaker 5 (48:37):
Did you is this like a new found feeling or
version of you that you felt stuck in your marriage
and you were a little bit more complacent and you
didn't have that confidence that you do right now.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Honestly, I'm just not scared of anything anymore. Yeah, I'm
truly not scared of anything because of what I just
went through. That that was the most horrific thing I
have ever experienced. And if I can get through that.
Speaker 5 (49:00):
I like to I like to say, if if the
universe or God, or if you're brave enough to say goodbye,
God will show you a new Hello.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Yeah, Charlotte Tillbury has perfumes?
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Oh is this a new Oh?
Speaker 4 (49:18):
Woods, God, I Charlotte, could you imagine if that's how
I actually.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
Have?
Speaker 4 (49:39):
And all of her packaging is just so stunning, so good.
So let's smell these and see what's good and bad.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
You have a lovely sent on today, which.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
Is thank you bought it.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
For me for what Christmas? My birthday? Smell these?
Speaker 1 (49:58):
You smell these, I'll smell these.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Uh more sexy?
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Is this one? It impossible for you to get more sexy?
It's impossible. I am so pretty? Are these? Roll on?
This is nice.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
It's gonna smell insane in here in a minute. It's nice.
It's a little too fruity girly for this is a
little too floral for me.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Okay, okay, but we're heading there. Actually it's quite that's nice.
It's kind of nice.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Yeah, it's actually it's the mix.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Oh yeah, yeah, I love the word waft. It's good
and bad. Hold on, I gotta get that out before
I can see what this smells.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Usually wafted is like a stinky yeah, I gotta get
this out.
Speaker 5 (50:42):
A stinky waft Yeah, like someone like on an airplane
when you're like, who just waffed?
Speaker 1 (50:49):
But oh this is nice.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
I wouldn't call this floral. I don't know what I
would call it.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
This one's called holl bliss and that's what it smells like.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
I don't want to spre anymore. I'm just gonna smell you.
This one is cosmic power. Who I like this.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
It's just one magic energy Jachoria.
Speaker 5 (51:13):
So that's this smells like, Oh that's not This is
really nice. That almost reminds me of cool water.
Speaker 4 (51:22):
Oh my god, it's very cool water. It's very cool water.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
I need Did you smell this one? Oh? Look it's
blue too. She did it on purpose, She did a
little throwback. Can I have this? Yeah? This is really
Wait and you take whatever you want?
Speaker 4 (51:38):
Yeah, yeah, take whatever you want except this one, except
for all of them.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
Take anything. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Yeah, thanks thanks for coming.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Please leave.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
Yourself so good.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
Who I have a question for you?
Speaker 2 (51:57):
What foundation are you wearing?
Speaker 1 (51:58):
I am wearing looks really good, but.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
Like Matt to your backstage.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Oh yeah, and when with.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
A brand of powder that I just bought, the Beauty
baking powder. Okay, that's probably what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
The do your show backstage is like very lightweight, is
it not? I really like it a lot.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Yeah. And then Tyla was filter. I love it so much?
Speaker 3 (52:22):
Who does wait? The foundation?
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Oh wait?
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (52:28):
The tin filter?
Speaker 4 (52:30):
Yeah, Like it's like like, yeah, your skin, this is
way too plorally.
Speaker 5 (52:37):
Do you do your makeup every night before you go
out on stage with I do?
Speaker 2 (52:42):
I do? I do do my own makeup.
Speaker 10 (52:47):
I don't know, Joe, I U Joe my own wrong,
Like I.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Don't know what what what accent was that? I don't know?
Speaker 3 (53:04):
And I really appreciate.
Speaker 2 (53:05):
Yeah, I try, I really did try. Accents aren't my thing.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
It wasn't even really accent.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
These are very feminine.
Speaker 3 (53:15):
Do you know a full beat down?
Speaker 2 (53:17):
I do? Yeah? And then I set. I feel like
setting for stage is like the most important and also
overdoing it because there's so many nights when I'm like,
I look so bombed, and then I go out there
and I see myself in video afterwards and I'm like, dude,
I'm washed out, Like it was not enough under the lights,
you know what I mean, Like I have to drag
(53:39):
it up che more cheek, Yeah, like really like do
the contour and the eyes? Do you love being? I do?
I love it? Yeah? What a dumb question? Paren I
love doesn't love? Who's gonna love people that are very nicole?
Speaker 3 (53:57):
Kidman, she loves everything.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
I don't know her from a hole in the wall
at all.
Speaker 5 (54:02):
But she likes to be pall and Proutrow's like six
feet old.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
She's not, no, she's just like, yeah, she's a ballerina. Yeah,
it's like a ballerina. Ye. It's contagious. So I've been,
you know, like it's it's just it's a habit to
every time I talk or make any noise, like put
the mic just like no, I like, I was like,
(54:31):
what the purposely you did it on the mic? Okay,
if you're going to show this part, go ahead and
roll me doing that? Phil, Sorry about that. Well yeah,
well we're softball girl, So we're a little ladies.
Speaker 4 (54:48):
Lay, we're little guys. We actually are new what are
they called pronouns?
Speaker 2 (54:56):
Are little and guy? Yeah like well okay, guy, you
know this is a little guy. Okay, just like guys.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah, let's do rapid fires.
Speaker 4 (55:07):
This is how we like to close out the podcast
is do it rapid fires.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
So get your titty, favorite day time product, favorite daytime products.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
So get ready and she's like, should take nam.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
She's like, hey, Siri, what's my favorite day.
Speaker 4 (55:24):
Time it's okay, favorite daytime product, favorite clip bloss, flip bloss, okay,
favorite night time products.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
Hyaluronic acid, like sleek.
Speaker 5 (55:38):
Hair or big hair, big hair, pail or tan tan
okay Matt or dewey skin, Matt middle partner, side part
middle individual, lashes or strip strip.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
If you could change your name, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Stephaniel? Okay? Cool? Steph means while my videographer step is.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Like every step and he's like my videographer, I was.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
Like shooting with her in the morning. Is that when
I said your name? I love? Wait? Can I go
back and say Alexandria so that everybody would actually get
my name right? Okay? Cream or powder blush cream? Okay?
Speaker 5 (56:29):
Day one or three hair three tucker untuck a hotel tuck.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
In all uses of that phrase. Okay, nice. Earlier it
was super dick. I don't know, guys. My second to
being a guest on this podcast. My dream is I
want to go on drag race so bad that my
(56:57):
dream Yeah, also acts us chuck or on. You have
a hotel bed? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (57:03):
What are aliens real?
Speaker 2 (57:07):
No?
Speaker 3 (57:07):
It's Santa real.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (57:09):
No.
Speaker 2 (57:11):
Who's your favorite celebrity you worked with? Jelly? If animals
could talk, which one would Which would be the rudest?
The cat a cat for sure?
Speaker 5 (57:18):
Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or one
hundred duck sized horses?
Speaker 2 (57:24):
One horseized duck for sure?
Speaker 3 (57:27):
Great question, Feldman, that is so good.
Speaker 2 (57:30):
Are you kidding? Dude?
Speaker 3 (57:32):
You added a lot to this list.
Speaker 5 (57:34):
There's a lot that's good.
Speaker 2 (57:37):
Horse sized duck or a hundred duck size horses?
Speaker 3 (57:45):
Did you and aj do right though?
Speaker 2 (57:47):
Chatb T Yeah, God, that's so good. Oh love it.
Speaker 3 (57:53):
I love your mind.
Speaker 2 (57:54):
But the hotel bed.
Speaker 4 (57:57):
Yeah, you know when you get into a hotel mad
do you untuck the sheets like a psychopathy?
Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (58:02):
Maybe I can see.
Speaker 5 (58:04):
You're finding more and more people are on tuckers. We
don't like to sleep in coffins.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
Oh I love to sleep in a coffin. It doesn't
bother me.
Speaker 2 (58:11):
How are you getting in there without on tucky?
Speaker 4 (58:14):
I mean I tuck it to get in, but I know,
maybe a little bit tuck everything, I don't pull it
all out.
Speaker 2 (58:20):
So you're just kind of like are You're just like
like a sleep and then you're just kind of like
getting in. I see the pocket. Okay, now I'm yeah dude,
who yeah whoao?
Speaker 3 (58:31):
Because also you are the problem to you?
Speaker 2 (58:34):
Hey, you you're the problem too. Great, thanks for stopping by.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
I'm at I know.
Speaker 5 (58:40):
On that note, I had a really fun time with you,
Alexander K.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (58:44):
Alexander KA. Tell everybody where they can find you.
Speaker 2 (58:46):
My name is Alexandra kay At Alexander K Music on
all social media platforms, and I've got a new album coming,
so stay tuned. My album that we spoke a lot
about today, All I've Ever Known is available on all
stream platform lack U.
Speaker 4 (59:03):
See you later, bye bye, see later bye.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
That was the funnest thing I've ever done.
Speaker 4 (59:10):
Thank you guys so much for tuning in to The
touch Up Podcast. Please follow us on Instagram at the
touch Up Podcast. Follow us on TikTok at the touch Up.
If you have any beauty questions, give us a ring
six one, five, three, three, eight, five nine five three,
see you later. Bye,
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