November 11, 2025 • 10 mins
A BUCKET LIST IS GOOD FOR YOUR BRAIN And I've got neuropsychiatrist Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo on today to talk about why you should have a bucket list to help you live with purpose. He joins me at 1 to discuss it, and you can find more about him and his book by clicking here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you have listened to the show for any length
of time, you know I am all about helping us
have our best lives and going through life and through retirement,
having a happy, healthy lifespan.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And my next guest is a.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Guy who's taken a simple concept and attached it to science,
and you know science is always better than just a concept,
and joining me now to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
He is the bucket list Doctor.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
His name is doctor Jeffrey Disarbo, and we are going
to talk to him about why a bucket list could
be just the thing you need to really inspire you
to have purpose as we go through life.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Doctor Disarbo, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
First of all, thank you so much, Mandy. I'm really
happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
So let's start with the concept. I'm sure most people
in the listening audience know what a bucket list is,
But what is a bucket list?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
How do you define that?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, well, people think of the traditional bucket list kind
of goes back to the movie with Morgan Freeman and
Jack Nicholson, you know, kind of checking off things you
do before you die while you're here. I like to
reframe that and say bucket list is really things you
do while you have the opportunity to be living on
this plan. Yeah, so it's not just for retirement. I
encourage very young people to start thinking with this type
(01:10):
of mentality of doing things that have purpose that you're
deciding what to do with the intentionality, it gives you gratitude.
So it isn't just about, you know, visiting all the
seven continents of the world and jumping out of airplanes.
It's about doing things that have purpose and meaning to you.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
So let me ask you this question, how does this
all work to be a positive for us overall? Say,
and I told you this off the air I've had.
I didn't call it a bucket list when I started it,
but I've had a version of a bucket list since
I was in my mid thirties of stuff that I
just wanted to accomplish. And some of it is so
dumb from the outside looking in, But for whatever reason,
it's on my list. Right, How does that help me?
(01:52):
How does that help me moving forward?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well, one of the biggest things I think it does
in today's world is we make the It gives us
time to think about what do we want to do
with our lives When the world sometimes seems a little
bit out of control and a little chaotic when we
think about what we want to do while we're here,
make some plans things that again have that meaning to us.
(02:17):
The way it helps us is it really shapes the brain.
It keeps it growing, brain regions, brain chemistry, everything that
starts to can sometimes decline under stress and underage kind
of is it's like mental exercise with a bucket list
to keep your brain in shape and healthy.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
But does it go further than that?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And I'm going to give you an example of what
I'm talking about here. I've always thought that when you
have goals or you have things that you want to achieve,
that in and of itself, that process can help you
sort of stay the course and can even I think,
affect your physical health. And I'm going to use this
as an example. I've known now multiple people who said
(02:57):
I want to live to be one hundred years old.
That was just the stated gold. One of them said
I want my card, my birthday card from the president,
okay because at the time the President Selt sent out
birthday cards. And then the other one just said I
wanted to live to be one hundred. One of them
lived to be ninety nine and died two days before
his birthday because what came in the mail his birthday
(03:17):
card from the president. And then the other one lived
to be one hundred and like five days and they
turned one hundred. It was like, Okay, that was the
last thing I had to check in my box. Is
there any chance that those things are actually connected?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I believe one hundred percent. They are our brains. And
there's multiple examples of people I've worked with over the
years and in my personal life that you know, find
a reason to stay present, whether that's physically present on
this planet or stay present and an alert to what's
going on with their own lives by making those plans,
having those goals that they want to seek out for themselves.
(03:55):
And it isn't just like motivation, it's the chemistry behind
it with the brains and the brain systems that kind
of stay active because a lot of people, if they
don't do things like this, the curiosity kind of goes
away and they need that novelty to keep the brain
exercising and healthy. So it's definitely something that is you know,
(04:18):
because I always say it's anti aging. You know, it's
an anti aging process for people.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So how does one go about figuring out what should
be on their bucket list?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Well, it you know, it can be in some ways
very simple, right, but it's it means more when you
do it in a little bit of a format and
an understanding behind it, in a structured way of keeping tracked.
You want to start with making categories even before you
start filling in those categories. Like in my book and
work book, I have over one hundred categories, things like mindfulness, travel, adventure,
(04:50):
but there's also things to do near home, things that
are free hobbies. I have a category called reach Goals
things that you may want but it might be a stretch,
but you still put it down. It keeps you vigilant
to things that opportunities that come along in life.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
So it all.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Begins by just a thought. You know a lot of
times when people say I have zero clue how to start,
I say, okay, let me just give me one thought.
Tell me something that's meaningful to you that maybe you
haven't gotten around to, that you want to do, And
that's where it all starts, and you start filling in
those categories.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So in my in my bucket list, it's a mix
of stupid stuff and it's a mix of big swings, right,
and some of those big swings are probably not going
to happen, right, And I just wonder, is that Do
you want to die with a bunch of things on
your list that didn't get accomplished, Because that's really what.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I'm going for, Like I want to go out going.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I still haven't tone in aerobics class.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
You know, I mean, what's the better way to look
at this?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Well, I don't think you just want to think about
these grandias types of adventures that may be out of
the reach. But like I said, one of the things
in my bucket list is I want to go to
outer space.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
But that's under my reach goal.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Now, I might not get there, and I understand that,
you know, but if I ever have the opportunity. That's
why every time I'm on a show like this, I
always say, if Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk is listening,
please just make me the offer.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I'll talk about it.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Trust me. Jeff and Elon and I we talk all
the time. Doctor at the same time.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
You know, there's a lot of goals when you sit
down there. You know, we were talking a little bit
before I took an acting class in April. I took, actually,
I signed up for a second, so I took sixteen
weeks of acting. I'm a psychiatrist. I'm like, I'm not
trying to become an actor. But I saw a sign
on a telephone poll that said acting class. I ripped
(06:46):
off the thing made the call because novelty, doing something
new and different is really good for the brain. And
I had a ball and it released this chemical oxytocin.
Because I'm meeting people, I'm socializing in a world that's
all becoming like so. So, yeah, you can have those
wild things, but there's a lot when you think about it,
(07:06):
and once you start this process, it's amazing how you
just start having more and more ideas, and that proactive
process is one of the healthiest things we can do
for ourselves.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
How valuable is the process of just getting over your
fear of embarrassment, fail your you know, all of those
things that your lizard brain kicks in to tell you
shouldn't do this thing, like take an acting class. That's
kind of a I mean, that's for a lot of
people that would be absolutely terrifying. But how do you
get past that of I might look dumb if I
(07:37):
take a tap dancing class.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Well, first of all, you put them on your bucket list,
and then and then you start doing the ones that
maybe you can begin with and tolerate. And once you
get that experience, it's kind of exposure therapy, right. You're
showing yourself and your brain that you can actually do things.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
They can be fun. You move on to the next. Uh,
you know it is.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
That's why I'm saying, that's why my book, you know,
The Neuroscience of a bucket List is so different. It's
a different look, and I try to tell people don't
skip the chapters on the science, because if you read
those chapters, you'll know more than ninety five percent of
the people in the world about the brain and how
it works.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
That alone is a powerful tool.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
The book by doctor Jeffrey Disarbo is fantastic and you
can find it on his website, which I link to today.
On the blog, it's called The Neuroscience of a bucket List,
Getting the Most from your Brain and your Life. There's
also a workbook that comes along with this, doctor Disarbo.
I appreciate you both working in this field because I
think this is super interesting and I can't wait to
(08:40):
hear from my listeners here in just a minute what
their bucket list items are, because I think everybody in
a way has that sort of I don't know they
have one, even if it's not a formal one, like oh,
you know, when I retire, I'm going to xyz. So
maybe this will just kind of push things along a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Yeah, don't wait, get arted right away, you know. And
it's it's like I said, yeah, I'm I'm a psychiatrist.
I'm not trying to sell books. But everybody I've talked
to who've looked at it has started making changes almost
within the first week.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
And you mentioned it is on.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
The website, but it's on Amazon and all the other
book places too if people are interested.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So I do want to say this.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I think that because of the way that we are
sort of told, which is good advice, right, like plan
for the future, plan for a retirement, plan for this,
making sure you're going to But I think too many
people put off life thinking I'll do it when I retire,
when in reality, most of us retire when we're not
at our.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Peak physical condition. You know, that's that's the.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Worst time to get on with your bucket list. So
I'm hoping this conversation today inspires people to go ahead
and get cracking on that.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Yeah, don't wait till later on.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Once we get over the age of forty, our keynerro
transmitter still mean serotonin, NORP and Neffer adrenaline. They all
start to decrease by ten percent per decade. Oh you
know by starting this, You know, the sooner someone starts it,
the healthier they keep that brain. And that's that what
I was talking about, the anti aging effects of it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Doctor Jeffrey desarbo Is the bucket list doctor dot com.
I put a link on the website. Thank you so
much for your time today.
If you have listened to the show for any length
of time, you know I am all about helping us
have our best lives and going through life and through retirement,
having a happy, healthy lifespan.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And my next guest is a.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Guy who's taken a simple concept and attached it to science,
and you know science is always better than just a concept,
and joining me now to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
He is the bucket list Doctor.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
His name is doctor Jeffrey Disarbo, and we are going
to talk to him about why a bucket list could
be just the thing you need to really inspire you
to have purpose as we go through life.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Doctor Disarbo, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
First of all, thank you so much, Mandy. I'm really
happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
So let's start with the concept. I'm sure most people
in the listening audience know what a bucket list is,
But what is a bucket list?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
How do you define that?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, well, people think of the traditional bucket list kind
of goes back to the movie with Morgan Freeman and
Jack Nicholson, you know, kind of checking off things you
do before you die while you're here. I like to
reframe that and say bucket list is really things you
do while you have the opportunity to be living on
this plan. Yeah, so it's not just for retirement. I
encourage very young people to start thinking with this type
(01:10):
of mentality of doing things that have purpose that you're
deciding what to do with the intentionality, it gives you gratitude.
So it isn't just about, you know, visiting all the
seven continents of the world and jumping out of airplanes.
It's about doing things that have purpose and meaning to you.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
So let me ask you this question, how does this
all work to be a positive for us overall? Say,
and I told you this off the air I've had.
I didn't call it a bucket list when I started it,
but I've had a version of a bucket list since
I was in my mid thirties of stuff that I
just wanted to accomplish. And some of it is so
dumb from the outside looking in, But for whatever reason,
it's on my list. Right, How does that help me?
(01:52):
How does that help me moving forward?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well, one of the biggest things I think it does
in today's world is we make the It gives us
time to think about what do we want to do
with our lives When the world sometimes seems a little
bit out of control and a little chaotic when we
think about what we want to do while we're here,
make some plans things that again have that meaning to us.
(02:17):
The way it helps us is it really shapes the brain.
It keeps it growing, brain regions, brain chemistry, everything that
starts to can sometimes decline under stress and underage kind
of is it's like mental exercise with a bucket list
to keep your brain in shape and healthy.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
But does it go further than that?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And I'm going to give you an example of what
I'm talking about here. I've always thought that when you
have goals or you have things that you want to achieve,
that in and of itself, that process can help you
sort of stay the course and can even I think,
affect your physical health. And I'm going to use this
as an example. I've known now multiple people who said
(02:57):
I want to live to be one hundred years old.
That was just the stated gold. One of them said
I want my card, my birthday card from the president,
okay because at the time the President Selt sent out
birthday cards. And then the other one just said I
wanted to live to be one hundred. One of them
lived to be ninety nine and died two days before
his birthday because what came in the mail his birthday
(03:17):
card from the president. And then the other one lived
to be one hundred and like five days and they
turned one hundred. It was like, Okay, that was the
last thing I had to check in my box. Is
there any chance that those things are actually connected?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I believe one hundred percent. They are our brains. And
there's multiple examples of people I've worked with over the
years and in my personal life that you know, find
a reason to stay present, whether that's physically present on
this planet or stay present and an alert to what's
going on with their own lives by making those plans,
having those goals that they want to seek out for themselves.
(03:55):
And it isn't just like motivation, it's the chemistry behind
it with the brains and the brain systems that kind
of stay active because a lot of people, if they
don't do things like this, the curiosity kind of goes
away and they need that novelty to keep the brain
exercising and healthy. So it's definitely something that is you know,
(04:18):
because I always say it's anti aging. You know, it's
an anti aging process for people.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So how does one go about figuring out what should
be on their bucket list?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Well, it you know, it can be in some ways
very simple, right, but it's it means more when you
do it in a little bit of a format and
an understanding behind it, in a structured way of keeping tracked.
You want to start with making categories even before you
start filling in those categories. Like in my book and
work book, I have over one hundred categories, things like mindfulness, travel, adventure,
(04:50):
but there's also things to do near home, things that
are free hobbies. I have a category called reach Goals
things that you may want but it might be a stretch,
but you still put it down. It keeps you vigilant
to things that opportunities that come along in life.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
So it all.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Begins by just a thought. You know a lot of
times when people say I have zero clue how to start,
I say, okay, let me just give me one thought.
Tell me something that's meaningful to you that maybe you
haven't gotten around to, that you want to do, And
that's where it all starts, and you start filling in
those categories.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So in my in my bucket list, it's a mix
of stupid stuff and it's a mix of big swings, right,
and some of those big swings are probably not going
to happen, right, And I just wonder, is that Do
you want to die with a bunch of things on
your list that didn't get accomplished, Because that's really what.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I'm going for, Like I want to go out going.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I still haven't tone in aerobics class.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
You know, I mean, what's the better way to look
at this?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Well, I don't think you just want to think about
these grandias types of adventures that may be out of
the reach. But like I said, one of the things
in my bucket list is I want to go to
outer space.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
But that's under my reach goal.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Now, I might not get there, and I understand that,
you know, but if I ever have the opportunity. That's
why every time I'm on a show like this, I
always say, if Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk is listening,
please just make me the offer.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I'll talk about it.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Trust me. Jeff and Elon and I we talk all
the time. Doctor at the same time.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
You know, there's a lot of goals when you sit
down there. You know, we were talking a little bit
before I took an acting class in April. I took, actually,
I signed up for a second, so I took sixteen
weeks of acting. I'm a psychiatrist. I'm like, I'm not
trying to become an actor. But I saw a sign
on a telephone poll that said acting class. I ripped
(06:46):
off the thing made the call because novelty, doing something
new and different is really good for the brain. And
I had a ball and it released this chemical oxytocin.
Because I'm meeting people, I'm socializing in a world that's
all becoming like so. So, yeah, you can have those
wild things, but there's a lot when you think about it,
(07:06):
and once you start this process, it's amazing how you
just start having more and more ideas, and that proactive
process is one of the healthiest things we can do
for ourselves.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
How valuable is the process of just getting over your
fear of embarrassment, fail your you know, all of those
things that your lizard brain kicks in to tell you
shouldn't do this thing, like take an acting class. That's
kind of a I mean, that's for a lot of
people that would be absolutely terrifying. But how do you
get past that of I might look dumb if I
(07:37):
take a tap dancing class.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Well, first of all, you put them on your bucket list,
and then and then you start doing the ones that
maybe you can begin with and tolerate. And once you
get that experience, it's kind of exposure therapy, right. You're
showing yourself and your brain that you can actually do things.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
They can be fun. You move on to the next. Uh,
you know it is.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
That's why I'm saying, that's why my book, you know,
The Neuroscience of a bucket List is so different. It's
a different look, and I try to tell people don't
skip the chapters on the science, because if you read
those chapters, you'll know more than ninety five percent of
the people in the world about the brain and how
it works.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
That alone is a powerful tool.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
The book by doctor Jeffrey Disarbo is fantastic and you
can find it on his website, which I link to today.
On the blog, it's called The Neuroscience of a bucket List,
Getting the Most from your Brain and your Life. There's
also a workbook that comes along with this, doctor Disarbo.
I appreciate you both working in this field because I
think this is super interesting and I can't wait to
(08:40):
hear from my listeners here in just a minute what
their bucket list items are, because I think everybody in
a way has that sort of I don't know they
have one, even if it's not a formal one, like oh,
you know, when I retire, I'm going to xyz. So
maybe this will just kind of push things along a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Yeah, don't wait, get arted right away, you know. And
it's it's like I said, yeah, I'm I'm a psychiatrist.
I'm not trying to sell books. But everybody I've talked
to who've looked at it has started making changes almost
within the first week.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
And you mentioned it is on.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
The website, but it's on Amazon and all the other
book places too if people are interested.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So I do want to say this.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I think that because of the way that we are
sort of told, which is good advice, right, like plan
for the future, plan for a retirement, plan for this,
making sure you're going to But I think too many
people put off life thinking I'll do it when I retire,
when in reality, most of us retire when we're not
at our.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Peak physical condition. You know, that's that's the.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Worst time to get on with your bucket list. So
I'm hoping this conversation today inspires people to go ahead
and get cracking on that.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Yeah, don't wait till later on.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Once we get over the age of forty, our keynerro
transmitter still mean serotonin, NORP and Neffer adrenaline. They all
start to decrease by ten percent per decade. Oh you
know by starting this, You know, the sooner someone starts it,
the healthier they keep that brain. And that's that what
I was talking about, the anti aging effects of it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Doctor Jeffrey desarbo Is the bucket list doctor dot com.
I put a link on the website. Thank you so
much for your time today.
The Mandy Connell Podcast News
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