The Unloading Flatmate

Moyra and Big Trev were discussing the random flatmates they'd had in the their life and were shocked to score a double poop story!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now I've got three roommates at the moment. One's been
my roommate for fifteen years, and got another one eighteen years,
and the loveliest one over twenty six years. But before that,
I lived with idiots. One forgot to put on the electricity,
so we had a candlelit party. Everybody had to bring

(00:20):
a candle and we're lucky we didn't burn the whole
house down. Yeah, but other ones we are just ridiculous.
But I've had some fun roommates where they've taken all
my stuff out of my room and put it in
the driveway and set it up perfectly.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I've also had a roommates or a couple of roommates
that we had roadworks out front of our house and
I was out one night, had a big night, came
home and I was wondering, what is going on. There's
a UFO with my bedroom. And I walked into my
room and they'd put all the lights and all the
traffic cones and all the hazard signs in my room.

(00:54):
I walked, I slid open the door, had a look
in there and went, that's future show was probably leadies,
and then slept on the floor, grabbed a blanket because
they put it all over my bed everything. I couldn't
sleep on my bed, so I just.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Grab to ahole lot of ladies home with you.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
That room saw now leaders, But we want to talk
about your roommates, Ben, you were talking about some of
the stuff was very extreme.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yes, But when we first moved out, so probably nineteen twenty,
I think in a sharehouse with a maide of mine
from school. His name was Paul, really quick name, fun coincidence.
He liked a prank and he bought a one time
he bought a Ford laser because he worked at a
car dealership for two hundred bucks, like a real old
second hand one. And I was away for a few days.

(01:42):
I came back and he had spent several days cutting
it up like outside with the help of from other
mates into pieces, and then reassembled the entire car in
my bedroom, everything except for the engine.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
That is amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Well, yeah, it was annoying because he didn't take it out.
Now I was in there for a couple of weeks.
Car a lot of space.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
It would actually had a.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Car bed that's so cool, like a racing car bed.
Opened the door and then go, yeah, we have a
little sleep in there.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Another time I went away again and he took the
door and the frame and everything off the bedroom plasted
over it, so just looked like the wall continued painted it,
so the bedroom didn't exist anymore. And then the only
way I was allowed in was if I could stand
there and make like a silhouette in front of it,
like I'd run through it like a cartoon and cut
around it. And then that was the only entrance into

(02:37):
my room.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I love that guy.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
That's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Do you still talk to this guy years?

Speaker 4 (02:44):
You need to contact him and just say, hey, just
reminiscing about the stupid things he did, thank you for
some great radio content.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Or if we see where he lives, it's not too
far away, we should go and plaster up his room.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Oh yeah, I think it's a newcastle.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
My dad moved out when I was in UNI, so
he moved out and we had the house to rent
to other people, other Unie students, so it was me
in a succession of so many flatmates it would be
there was one permanent one there the whole time, which
was a friend of mine called Shannon. We were like
best mates through the entire things that we were studying.
At the same course. But then there was just I

(03:21):
can't even tell you how many.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
So the people that were coming in and out of
your house where they just needed a place to stay.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
They were all Unie students. We were all pretty much
doing the same course, which was Creative Arts. A great day,
and so it would just be like one and then
the next, and then the next, and it was it
was a very busy time.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
How many rooms in that house.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
I had the main bedroom, and then there was what
was my childhood bedroom, which is really weird to have
someone else living in us. Then there was another room
in three four rooms. One was just from big brother.
Really we lived together for a period of time, which
was beautiful.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yes, but yeah, no, it was.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
All right, Well let's talk about your roommate.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, come on, well.

Speaker 5 (04:03):
It was me. I was the roommate. Oh yes, a
roommate confession. It was when I was in my early
twenties and I was living in a house share with
girls and it was a split level house, and I
was living downstairs and there was a girl upstairs and
the floors were very very thin, so I could hear
any time that she was walking to the bathroom. Yeah,

(04:26):
and so then I knew the duration that she spent
in the bathroom and I could I could hear what
was going on through the floorboards. Really, so I took
it upon myself to then record her bowel movements. Oh wow, yeah,
and then and then I recorded them on her fridge.
There was a whiteboard on the fridge, and so I

(04:47):
created a little chart and so I had it day
by day. Yeah, how regular she was and the duration
it took her forget about it from time to time.
But then people would come around and be like, oh,
what's this, And I'm like, oh, that's Rachel's poo chart.
And so he had a tors and through it, but
he is she kept a fiber up.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
So that was, Oh my god, what do you do
for a living?

Speaker 5 (05:09):
Tesh related there.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
No god, you widow.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
Us about your roommate.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Sorry, right, So this one.

Speaker 5 (05:26):
Has been of a weird one.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
I used to be a drag queen and there was myself,
my husband, and we had another roommate who was also
a drag queen. Okay, so it was like five of
us living together. Yeah, but my roommate horror story was
often we would order food for each other or just
for ourselves. One night after gig, we were both a
little bit tense. Come home, we ordered our food. She's
so asleep and like fully woke up and obliterated me,

(05:50):
being like, I can't believe he.

Speaker 5 (05:51):
Took my food, blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
I didn't even order anything myself.

Speaker 5 (05:55):
But she's her heal at me, and that's literally something
I never ever hear through. She was wrong, but she
threw her I deal with me because she.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Thought I thought her.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
I didn't go.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm sure so much going.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
I didn't on this occasion.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Why you'd be terrible as a witness. Did you do it?

Speaker 4 (06:20):
I know?

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Really?

Speaker 4 (06:21):
Okay, yes, baby, I did some other times.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Don't mess with a angry dragon.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
No exactly, a len from Koma Waters. Tell us about
your room mate.

Speaker 6 (06:30):
Okay, So this is a long time ago. We lived
in Townsville and I actually slept over my girlfriend's house
as two other girls, and I was on the couch.
I woke up to go to toilet. We had a
big night, huge night, went up to other toilet. I
looked in her bedroom and I saw this guy, dirty,
scruffy guy standing over the edge of her bed, and

(06:51):
I thought, oh, Leah, I can't believe he's stupid, this low, like, seriously,
you really had to be goggle gone with. He'd come
running past, he'd shoved me into the wall, he'd broken in,
he'd gone through my handbag while I was asleep.

Speaker 5 (07:06):
Oh my god, I'm through all.

Speaker 7 (07:08):
He'd taken a poo in the toilet, I know, and
we've all been out like lives and he was just
rummaging through her bedroom when I looked.

Speaker 6 (07:18):
In and thought that she was having.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
An Oh my god, what kind of criminal has the
time use the path?

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Oh my god, you've got to go. Oh my god,
that's we did not expect that.

Speaker 6 (07:36):
No, a milne size bit a layer and dressed