September 8, 2026 • 34 mins
TUESDAY HR 4
Detective Barb from Central Florida CrimeLine. Orange County Florida schools enforcing new rules for e-bikes and e-scooters.
Catching up with Miss Monster Burlesque Dreama Little.
Comic Bert Kreisher calls the Monsters to talk about his upcoming cruise. Ryan gets a wild hair and suggests that Burt should host an open mic on said cruise.....
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
104.1.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hey, welcome out of the box.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
This morning's Radio 104.1 broadcasting live on iHeartRadio. Also live
on the iHeartRadio app. And when you're on the app,
leave us a message and we'll play one like we
just played there. That's your hot takes. And we've got
a whole segment at the end of the show where
we get to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
How y'all doing?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I'm Russ with Angel and Ryan and Angelique and Detective
Barb here with us from Crimeline. Crimeline, of course, is
where if you see something that, oh boy, like I
probably should tell the police, but I don't really want
to get involved. You call Crimeline 1-800-423-TIPS or you can
go to the app. And you can give them a tip.
If you do that, it's going to be completely anonymous.
(00:52):
They don't even want to know your name. And if
that tip leads to an arrest, you are eligible for
a cash reward. And CrimeLine's been around, was it 50
years now, 40 years?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
We'll be 50 next year.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
50 next year.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Next month is 49 years.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
How was your Labor Day weekend? Well, you know where
we were on a golf course.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Golfing.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
We were getting ready for next weekend. Big weekend next weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
What's happening next weekend?
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Next weekend's that final qualifier for him to try and
go to drive chip and putt in Augusta.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
So we went up and practiced and he had his
best round.
Speaker 6 (01:29):
Of golf ever.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
How is he with pressure? Because, you know, next week.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
These people don't care about this, but I'm going.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
To tell you this story.
Speaker 7 (01:38):
We care, Barb. Two qualifiers.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
I don't care about you, Ryan. It's the listeners. I
was speaking for the listeners. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Two
qualifiers ago, he has horrible drives. He gets zeros on
two balls. He goes and chips. He's mediocre. And he
gets to the putting, and he knows he has to
sink two of the three putts. He misses the easy
six-footer by inches. He sinks the 15 and the 30 footers. Oh,
(02:06):
that's just, I'm like, he's like, well, I had to
make them. Why didn't we make the drives back here?
Cause we'd have been. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So pressure doesn't seem to get to him.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Cause when he walked to the putting, he looked at
me and he said, I got to make two of them.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
So are you hoping that his golf ability is going
to pay for college?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Is that, is that the hopes?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well, that would be nice.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
But we were at, TPC saw grass up in Jacksonville
this weekend. And up there were all the junior players
from around the world. Actually, there were, this is the
biggest new thing. And these kids.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Tiger Woods' kid was up there playing at 17 and,
They're hitting the ball as far as the pros are
hitting it. It's pretty incredible.
Speaker 5 (02:45):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And how old is your boy?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
He'll be 13 this month.
Speaker 8 (02:50):
13.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
And he's been playing golf since he was six?
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
No, younger than that.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Younger than that.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Wow.
Speaker 9 (02:54):
I know.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
So to be that, I mean, enthralled with it, I mean,
that's almost... It's very unusual, right?
Speaker 4 (03:02):
It's weird.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I like golf.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What's that word? There's a word for that. Obsessed? No,
not a virtual. If you're a young person.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Prodigy.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Prodigy. It's known like a prodigy, right?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
I don't know if he is or not. He's good.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
But we'll see.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
You know, at the end of the day, he's still
got to compete against a lot of other kids who
like the game.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
That's true, yeah. So what else is happening with you
and Crime Alert?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
So I know today, I just saw on the news,
Orange County is going to start enforcing those e-rides. They
are coming down hard.
Speaker 6 (03:35):
They are coming down hard.
Speaker 7 (03:36):
Enforcing the what? The e-bikes.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
E-bikes.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
So you have to be a certain age. You have
to have, I think, a permit at least, right?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
The bikes have to be registered with the schools and
have a tag on them. You can't sell or trade
those things.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
It's Orange County specifically right now.
Speaker 10 (03:51):
They made a point over the weekend and especially yesterday, Barb,
all the local news networks did a special on this.
So Orange County parents, I mean, just be, pay attention
to your phone. And if you, if you have, this
is the first time you're hearing this cause they're going
to send kids home. They're going to confiscate bikes.
Speaker 6 (04:09):
They're good.
Speaker 10 (04:10):
There's, A whole bunch of stuff that could potentially happen
to your kid if he's not following the rules.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I saw, this was just yesterday, or no, two days ago,
it was a mom and she had a baby on
an e-bike and then she had two other sons and
they both had e-bikes. And they were popping wheelies and
stuff and no helmets or anything. And the nerdy part
of me wanted to say something to her. Like, hey,
you probably know. But none of my business. So I
didn't say anything. So it's not against the law to
(04:39):
drive one of those without a helmet.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I think the younger ones probably had to have helmets on,
depending on their age.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They did not.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Let's just talk about stupid. You're carrying a kid.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
She was carrying a baby.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm sorry yeah and she had no helmet the baby
had and it goes.
Speaker 10 (04:53):
Across the board not just i mean it's all e-transportation
so the e-bikes the e-scooters all of that uh.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
These were e-bike and my second thought was they didn't
look like they had a hell of a lot of
money but those those are brand new and expensive looking
yeah how much do they run angel.
Speaker 10 (05:09):
Uh man it runs the gamut you could find some
for you know let's say five six hundred dollars up
to however much money you want to spend on one
they're expensive I mean, like the real good ones are
a couple thousand, you know, and it's it's it all
depends on what what how much you want to spend.
And like I get it for like there are adults.
That's their legitimate alternative form of transportation. They can't get
(05:31):
a car.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
They can't do, you know, they choose not to.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
They want they want to save the money on gas.
They want to save.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
I mean, in some way, shape or form.
Speaker 10 (05:39):
That's I'm sure there's a portion of it. But, you know,
there's a lot of people that that's just a viable
option for them because they can't afford other transportation. But again,
the parents that are going to start complaining and their
parents that are going to be upset about this, you
guys had years of to teach your kids how to
use this equipment properly, and you didn't do that, and
this is the reaction to you not teaching your kids
(06:03):
how to use these e-bikes or e-scooters or anything on
the road and be responsible about it. So in essence,
I don't hold the kids at fault. We criticize the kids,
but their parents and the parents are the ones that
are kicking down the money for this, and you didn't
teach your kid right.
Speaker 6 (06:17):
You're an awful parent.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
So what are they, like $ 600, $ 1, 000? Russ, whatever number
you want to buy.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Really?
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I like it.
Speaker 10 (06:23):
Again, there are e-bikes out there. They're at a few
thousand dollars. You're paying for a better battery capacity. You're
paying for better charge. There are some that come in
at $ 500. There are some that come in at $ 200. It's, again,
whatever your price point, and that's what makes them inviting
because for some people, again, it's easier to get a
few hundred dollars, you know, $ 500, $ 600, and get one
(06:44):
of these as opposed to getting $ 500 or $ 600 and
trying to buy a car.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
So it's a school safety thing, right?
Speaker 9 (06:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
Especially.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
All the traffic, all the kids walking, and a lot
of these kids, unfortunately, they're just going to, they're popping wheelies.
They're not abiding by the traffic laws, which they're supposed to, right?
And they're getting in front of cars who aren't seeing them.
We had it happen this weekend. One came flying across
a crosswalk, no helmet on, not paying attention. We're just
(07:15):
trying to, we're waiting, fortunately. And I don't know.
Speaker 7 (07:19):
I just, it's a problem.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
How about this part of it, Bar, in the sense
of this?
Speaker 10 (07:23):
So you've put your kid in this horrible situation where
you haven't taught them well with how to use these
or respect the roads or respect the laws of the
road and everything. Now you've put them in a situation
where now they're going to have an interaction with law enforcement,
and you probably haven't taught your kid how to engage
or talk to an officer. And your smart-ass kid who's
(07:43):
already doing wheelies and stuff on the road and doing
dumb stuff on the road is going to be smart
enough to the wrong people. And then that's going to
take a situation where it could be a teaching moment.
And you know how you get on the quick, bad
side of a law enforcement officer, especially a guy who
he knows he could— More things that are more important
(08:04):
things that he could be doing as opposed to this
duty handling kids going to school is having a smart
ass 13 year old yell at him about their e-bike,
you know?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Well, when they start losing them. Yeah, it's going to be.
I'm sorry for laughing, but it's great. If you're not
going to abide by the laws, you're going to get them.
Orange County's talking about they're going to confiscate them.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
They'll just take them from them.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
Oh, they can.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Especially when they're on the school properties.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
So if it's confiscated, so they never get it back?
Speaker 4 (08:32):
That's probably going to have to be a whole legal
civil thing going on there.
Speaker 10 (08:36):
The legal civil part is going to be the parent
is going to be on the hook for it, and
then you got to go get it.
Speaker 9 (08:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (08:40):
I mean, they probably will end up having tow trucks
show up. I mean, in essence, pick up trucks, things
and put them in pickup trucks. But it's something then
where the parent has to go pay to get it out.
It's just like if you park in a, you know,
no parking zone and your car gets towed.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Of course, kids are back in school now. And you
got P3 Campus, which is an app that you can
put on your phone. And it's sort of it is
it's like, you know, crime line. But the kids can.
type in and kind of text in if they were
they see a knife on campus or something like that
has it been busy.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
It has been very busy and in the i say
this for the past what five years the mental health
tips that we're taking about kids so that's more than
anything else unfortunately it's in the high numbers.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You mean like the cutting themselves and stuff like.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
That or just kids who are making threats or making
comments online or to their friends that are concerning and
alarming yeah And fortunately, we have good kids who are saying, uh-uh,
you know, I don't want anything happening to my friend.
And so they're giving us the tip and then we
follow up on it. But, you know, we talk to
these parents all the time. You're all driving to work
(09:49):
or you're sitting up on frigging I-4 right now. It's
a mess. Have a conversation. Give them the tool to report.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
What does that look like, uh barb so let's say
a kid uh i don't know the the something is
said it's threatening or whatever i'm gonna shoot up the
school or whatever and they type it in like does
it does police show up that day yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Well first of all That's that's you're committing a crime
by making that threat.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
So but even with the mental health issues.
Speaker 6 (10:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
We are 24 hour reactive.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So take a tip.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
And I'll tell you that most of our tips come
in right after dinner time, the dinner hour.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
They're back in their bedrooms. They shut their door and
they're on their devices and they see their friend making
some comments. So the kids will tip us and we're
going there that night. Oh, wow.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
We are knocking on the door of the parent's house saying,
where's your child? This is what they've posted. We need
to talk to them and make sure they're okay.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
What normally is the reaction of the parents? Are they
defensive or are they like, I'm going to walk?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
What scares the hell out of me is they didn't
even have a clue.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Right.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
But I didn't have a clue in fairness. I honestly,
I'm on the other side of that.
Speaker 11 (11:01):
That's it's, it's a really hard thing to put the
parent there because I, From when Victoria did, when my
daughter did this, she used her friend's phone to post
on a separate account that she did that I didn't
know about.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
So it's not fair to hold the parent responsible for
not knowing because as much as we try to know,
sometimes they are just smarter than us. They are on
this phone all the time. They know how to hide
the apps. They know how to do all this and that.
And we're playing catch up.
Speaker 11 (11:30):
And it's even more now than what it was even
when she did it years ago. So yes, there is
a version of, don't get me wrong, there is a
version of parents not knowing because they choose not to.
And there is a version of parents that are trying
that just can't keep up fast enough.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
When you say she did it, like I was here
and I can't even remember the whole story. It's just
for the audience that doesn't know what you're talking about.
When you say she did.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
It, you mean?
Speaker 11 (11:54):
My daughter, Victoria, did that when she was in middle school.
And so I was very strict with the phones.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I was very strict with social media. They weren't allowed
to have that, both of my children.
Speaker 11 (12:04):
And so when she was at school, she was being bullied.
But when she was at school, she went on a
friend's phone, went on a different account, and then posted
a note about being so depressed and suicide. And that
is where her friend then called the principal of the
school and the principal of the school.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Called me and said, we need to have a meeting
right now. And I didn't have a clue.
Speaker 11 (12:29):
And then I found out so many different things because
kids wear sweatshirts all the time. Now we're in Florida
and kids love wearing sweatshirts and that hasn't changed. It's
actually become more, but I didn't realize that she was self-harming.
I sent her to school. I packed her lunch. When
she came home, her lunch was gone. I didn't know
she was giving her lunch to other kids.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
I don't know that. I'm not at the school. I
just see the lunchbox is empty. I ask if she's eaten.
Speaker 7 (12:52):
She hasn't.
Speaker 11 (12:54):
There are so many things that happen when you're not there,
no matter how much you try. So you do have
to rely on friends, on the teachers, on school administrators.
There's so many other things that you have to rely
on as well, even if you are trying in the home.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Communication is a big part of that too, right?
Speaker 7 (13:13):
Yes, 100%.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
So at some point, they get to the point where
they don't talk to you anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They're whatever. They become little animals.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
All grown up now.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 10 (13:25):
To that point, though, I just want to, as you
guys were talking about, I wanted to stress again, because
like for my sister, or my sister, my daughter and
her school, because they had a tragic event happen about
this time. September is globally recognized as Suicide Prevention Month.
And so a lot of the schools are doing, you know,
having these conversations and heightened awareness of it. So just that,
(13:47):
you know, that your kid, because it happened with my
daughter and I, she made a post about it. And
I didn't know it was Suicide Prevention Month. And I
called her. I was like, hey, what's going on?
Speaker 6 (13:56):
And she's like, no, Dad.
Speaker 10 (13:56):
And she reminded me what happened a year ago at
her school and what was going on. And I was like, man,
that's awesome. And thank you for reminding me. And she's like, well, Dad,
thanks for calling. I'm kind of thankful.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
But that's what you can do is make sure your
kids have P3 Campus on their phone because if they
hear a friend saying something that is alarming like that or.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Whatever– Then, you know, we can get help out there quickly.
I didn't realize it was that quick.
Speaker 6 (14:20):
That's good, Barb.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
But have the come. I'm talking to him.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:23):
A hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Because a lot of us, you know, they go do
their thing. Like I say, they go to their bedrooms,
they shut their doors, having open conversations and asking the
hard questions.
Speaker 12 (14:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
More than just I'm fine. Don't accept I'm fine. Don't
accept I'm fine.
Speaker 11 (14:36):
Because it's the easiest cop out and I'm fine normally
means that something else is wrong. And what you don't
realize is that the kids actually come to you well
beforehand and they ask you or.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
They tell you, hey, Susie Q's not my friend. And
you're like, oh, it's OK. It'll be fine.
Speaker 11 (14:51):
No worries, because you're thinking of an adult brain not
a child brain so.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
So the app is p3 campus and it goes directly
to crimeline which is also their phone number is 1-800-423-TIPS
thank you detective barb thanks guys all right don't go
anywhere you're listening to the match of the morning Hey,
I can write a little bit. We're going to have
Bert Kreischer will be on the phone with us. We'll
get to chat with him for a little bit.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I'm Russ with Angel Angelique, Ryan Holmes and Miss Monster Burlesque.
Dream a little is back from from last week. So
nice to you last week. You did us a favor.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
You know, I had to.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I appreciate it. Ryan, obviously, he was a little flabbergasted.
A little. And he was a little upset that his...
True or false, you were a little upset that your
wife didn't get jealous? That was a thing that went
through your head?
Speaker 9 (15:47):
I'm not allowed to talk about this anymore. laughter So
we're just going to move on about what my wife's
thoughts about this are. And she would lay out at me.
She is not part of the show. Keep her name
out of my mouth.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Various things.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I've heard all that stuff before. I know what you're
talking about.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I get it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Well.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Hey, dream a little. So last we heard, you went
on a cruise, right?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah, with the kids. We went on a Disney cruise.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
The Disney cruise.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought, man, I didn't want
to go on a Disney cruise. It's going to be
all kid stuff, blah, blah, blah. But they do have
an area where it's just for adults.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
There's like a whole half of the ship that's just
for adults.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
And they plan stuff just for 18 and up and
21 and up and stuff like that.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
So did you spend most of the time with your
husband and let the kids go do their thing or.
Speaker 8 (16:37):
The second we step on that boat, we are chopped liver.
Like there's a kids club. There's like a tweens club.
There's a teens club. Like we're, they were like, yeah,
they're like, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Mickey is in the kids club.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
They don't even want to deal with you. Yeah, no.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Our daughter would live down there.
Speaker 8 (16:58):
She, she would, she has to come out to eat
and she gets really upset about it.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Really upset about it.
Speaker 9 (17:03):
What do you mean it's lunchtime?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I found it to be a really great cruise. It
really was.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
It was a lot of fun. We had a blast.
Speaker 8 (17:12):
We had a little bit of weather one day when
we were at Castaway Cay.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
A little bit of weather.
Speaker 7 (17:17):
A little scary weather. We hung out on the boat.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
So all of those crews, and I don't know if
you know this, Angel, but like all of these cruise companies,
they basically.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Go and they buy their own island.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
And then they make it like a destination.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So they take that island and they turn it into
something fancy. And Disney's done, obviously.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
They too.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
They had the correct change.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Yeah, they have too.
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Well, I think they own Castaway Cay and it's just that,
but they have like a piece.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Of like another island.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Right.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Right.
Speaker 10 (17:47):
I've heard all this with my kid. She's gotten to
do this... She's cruised about 10, 15 times now. But
when she was a kid, her favorite was the Disney cruise.
And it's like you were saying, Dreamer, where... basically, and
I think our grandparents loved it for this reason is
that the kids got to go and basically have their
whole day planned and grandma and grandpa got to chill.
Speaker 6 (18:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (18:10):
I mean, there's a spa, there's like little lounges and stuff.
Speaker 7 (18:14):
It's great.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
So your plan, your next plan is to go to
Vegas for a big competition. And I want to talk
about that and find out about that. We got to
take a little bit of a break now though, because
we have a Bert Kreischer and he's calling at a
particular time and we're going to make sure that we, we,
you know, time it right. So, When we come back,
we'll talk to Bert Kreischer. Don't go anywhere. You're listening
to the March of the Morning. Real Radio 104.1 broadcasting
(18:35):
live on iHeartRadio. I'm Russ Rollins along with Angel and Ryan.
Angelique's running around here somewhere.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
She'll be back. And on the line with us right now,
we've got a good buddy of ours, Bert Kreischer.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Bert.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
How you been, man? What's going on?
Speaker 5 (18:50):
How you doing, buddy? I've been phenomenal. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 8 (18:54):
I know.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I see you, and you look like you're in perfect
shape now. You went from not, and now it looks
like you're in perfect shape.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Do you feel different? Do you feel better?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
How are you feeling? I, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
So just to be clear, everyone, I started Manjaro November
last year, and then I got a blood clot.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
In January where I had to quit.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Drinking for like seven months.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And so, and then, and so then I felt great.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
I lost like 50 pounds to 225. I'm benching like 225,
10 times. I worked out with a trainer. I feel great.
I'm running like my pace is an eight minute mile.
So I feel incredible. But my problem was I I was.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Having a hard time getting alcohol back in my life.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
Because when you feel.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
That, and you know me, I love the thing about
not being able.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
To drink the way you want to is you lose spontaneity.
And when you lose spontaneity, you lose your sparkle. You
lose the thing that drives you. The thing where you go,
you go, you know what?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Let's open a bottle of champagne.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
Who cares if it's 8 a.m.? Who cares?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
And so I've been having a hard time getting my.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Drinking back in my life. And the other day, I
got it back. We were on a riverboat cruise.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, we were on a riverboat cruise in Chicago. And
my daughter goes, it's like noon.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
She goes, a little day drinking wouldn't be bad. And
I had the race in my heart.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I killed three Modelo Tallboys on a boat within an hour.
And I'm like, I'm back, baby. I drank the whole
time on the plane. And then, and then, like a
good person, I didn't drink last night.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
I got a great night of sleep.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
88% recovery.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
I'm working out today. I won't drink tonight, but I'll
drink tomorrow afternoon.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Like I day drinking is the key.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
You sleep afterwards.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Hey, no, you've, I'm sure you've heard this before and look,
you sound like the same guy. So I'm not saying
this is you, but have you thought about, or were
you worried about, they do say that when comedians are,
you know, are you get to know them when they're
big and then they lose weight. It's like, ah, you're
not as funny as you used to be when you
were a fat guy. Were you worried about losing the funny?
If you lost the weight.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
No, I don't look like Mario Lopez.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
No, you look pretty good, bro.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Guys, look around the room. I'm still 225 pounds.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I'm not in great shape.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Are you a healthy dad bod then?
Speaker 9 (21:14):
I am.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
I am like sneak. I'll tell you what I am.
If you put your arm around my shoulder to take
a picture, you'll go, whoa, you work out. That's it.
That's the only thing.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
The only way you'll notice that I work out is
if you touch my shoulders.
Speaker 7 (21:27):
Not the waist.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
No, I mean, I look, I look normal. Like, I
think I look better in clothes. Here's the deal is
I don't look.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Perfect, but I look healthy. Like I think my face
looks healthy.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
My, my, my, I'm not jetting out of my shirts.
Like I'm not baby doll teeing on my shirt.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So I'm not red. I don't have rosacea. All the
things that.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Make you look unhealthy. That's the thing about.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
When you get, when you're a fat.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
Comedian, it's like, if you're a fat comedian.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And you just got a little girth on you.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Everyone's happy. Like stop it. Right.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
The second is, The second Stavi turns 50, he's not
going to look good.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
And, and that's what happened to me is I turned.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
50 and everyone's like, he doesn't look good. And that's
when you got.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
To like, that's when all the weight game catches.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Up to you and your numbers start coming in weird
and you're, and you can see it in your skin
and your face and you're out of breath and you're
sweating in an interview.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
You weren't like leaning into it.
Speaker 8 (22:25):
Right.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And you took your shirt off and everybody laughed. Oh,
look at him taking his shirt off. And now you
take your shirt off. It's probably not as funny.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
Right.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
No, it's.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So funny.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Hey, tell us about tell us about the cruise, because
on our radio station, we've been running spots and everything
for people to to go on the the Bert Kreischer
fully loaded at sea cruise.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Tell us about that.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
When's it happening? And is this the first one that
you did with your name on it?
Speaker 5 (22:52):
No, I did.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
So I did this two years ago, I think, and
it was the funnest thing.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
I've ever done in my entire life. And by the way,
it completely has my thumbprint all over it. The first
thing I'll say is last year, two people called me
and they got pregnant on the cruise.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And they're like, yeah, we just wanted you to know.
So Leanne, my wife's like, oh, how sweet is that?
So I called my business manager. I go, yeah, let's
start college funds for these kids. And Leanne's like, what
are you doing?
Speaker 5 (23:18):
I go, it's two grand, you know, a.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Thousand dollars a kid.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
It's going to appreciate all the time. They're 18.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
They'll have to go to college.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And Leanne's like, well, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
So if you get pregnant on my cruise, I started
college fun for that.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
That's a great gimmick. I love it. That's good.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And there's, and there's no real way to paternity test this,
like in the NBA.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
So technically if you're pregnant in the month of November.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
You're on my cruise and Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
Oh, start a college fund. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Second, this is my favorite thing we did.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Last year, we're doing the Speedo contest, and Miss Pat
is on the cruise. Whitney Cummings, Felipe Esparza, Big Jay Oakston,
Sam Jay, Joe DeRosa. We have a crazy list of
comedians on this quiz. Rosebud Baker. And so Miss Pat.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Was the judge of the Speedo contest, and she.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Starts making fun of, because it's a lot of white guys, the.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Lack of girth on the boat.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Right, right, right.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
And so- I casually said, I'll.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Tell you what, I'll double down on that. I'll give
$ 5, 000 to the person with the smallest junk on the boat.
And There was a line. There was a line.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Old white guys.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
And there, Miss Pat was the judge.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
And everyone showed them. And it was a tie. Two
guys tied. They had micro wieners. And so we gave
them both five grand. I love it. And just to
tell you, that's the kind of cruise this is. We
drank so much booze the first night they ran out
of vodka. The first night. Right when we left the port.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
And they had to send a chase boat to.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
The island to turn around and bring back more vodka.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Hey, so when they go on your cruise, do they
have that option where you can have all you can
drink kind of a thing?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Is that part of the deal?
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Yes. We broke all the records. When we did it,
we broke all the records. Most.
Booze ever drank on a cruise. Most, uh, most drink
packages ever bought most gambling ever. I mean, we broke
every record for that cruise. So, I mean, it's a
blast thing, you know, and it's just, my fans are,
(25:17):
they're not like, uh, internet troll type people. They're regular people.
So like it's everyone's hanging out. Everyone keeps in touch.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
We all, everyone goes up and around sunset to watch
the dock siders on top.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
On the Lido deck.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I mean, and all the, all the comics hang out.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
They all gamble all night.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
There's very little, because we're all podcasters.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
I feel like, you know, everyone kind of feels like
they know us and we feel like we know our fans. Right.
So it's really immersible.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I can imagine.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
You're probably really good at just talking to everybody. Like, like, like,
you know, small talking with everybody.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Uh, I am, but I feel like, you know, it's like, I, I,
that's how I.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Met Rogan was like, I listened to his podcast. And
then when I went to his house, I felt like
I knew him. Right.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
And then I started talking like I knew him. And
you know, what happens with like fans will come up
and they're like, uh, heard I was taking a driver's test.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And then you just start talking to them. Because you
share so much.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I mean, you have to know what that feels like.
Speaker 6 (26:10):
Oh, I do, yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
You've been sharing your life on radio for so long.
People come up to you, and there's really no separation
of church and state. You just kind of start talking.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Ryan, question for Bert Kreischer. By the way, the Bert
Kreischer Cruise coming up soon. If you want to go
on the cruise, go to BertKreischerCruise.com. Bert, I'm going on
your cruise, man. I love all your events. They're very fun.
The Tampa run you did was cool. Hey, though, can
we do an open mic on the cruise? Can we
talk to the cruise director or something and make that happen?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Done.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
100%.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Are you really going on his cruise?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah, I'm going on his cruise.
Speaker 7 (26:42):
I love Bert Kreiser. I love cruising. There's like two
of my favorite things.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I didn't know you were going to go on Bert
Kreiser's cruise.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
You should have told me before we talked to him.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Well, I want to surprise everybody.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
A hundred percent. We'll do an open mic. A hundred percent. Hell,
you know what? Well, why don't we just steal, kill
Tony's idea?
Speaker 7 (26:57):
I didn't want to say that, but yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
We'll do Hurt Bert, and I'll be the judge, and
we'll just pull names out of the hat and have
them do stand-up. I know Tony well enough where I
can steal his ideas.
Speaker 7 (27:11):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
So, Ryan, you'll do stand-up on the cruise?
Speaker 9 (27:16):
Yeah, that's what I want to do. Then I can
say I did stand-up on Bert's cruise as well because
I'm like, was it open mic?
Speaker 7 (27:21):
But I don't have to say that part.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
Oh.
Speaker 7 (27:24):
So, done and done.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Yeah, I'm doing, we got, everyone's doing stand-up, everyone's doing podcasts,
and then I'm doing a best of one night where
people can submit the joke they want me to tell
from any of my specials, and I'll do that joke.
But let's do it.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Open mic, open mic, and guess who's going on.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Stage that night? Leanne Kreischer.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Oh, hell yeah. Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 7 (27:44):
Is she good?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Is she good?
Speaker 7 (27:46):
How long, I mean, like, is that hard for you
to watch?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Uh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
She says funny things, but she doesn't know she's funny.
Like the other day, someone was talking about AI and
how it's taking all the jobs, and she bragged.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
She goes, well, I'll tell you one thing. I don't
have to worry about AI taking any of.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
My family's jobs.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
And I was like, that's not something to brag.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
About, babe.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I was like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Uh, well, Hey, listen, always, always good to hear from you,
but I know you got, you're doing a bunch of
phone calls this morning to promote it, but obviously if
you're back in Orlando, we'd love to see you and, uh,
and nothing, but, uh, you know, nothing but love your way, man.
You guys, you're doing a great job. And, and, uh,
and then now I know that Ryan's going on your cruise.
So we'll talk about it more.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Ryan, let me, uh, do me a favor, hit me up.
I think you guys, you guys have my number, hit
me up and, uh, and we'll organize the open mic,
and you will be the very first. I won't put
you the first on. We'll have Leanne go first. You'll
go fourth.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Okay, perfect. And I don't think we have your number anymore, Bert.
I think I had, like, one of your.
Speaker 6 (28:48):
The old number?
Speaker 5 (28:50):
No!
Speaker 1 (28:51):
One of my burner phones?
Speaker 5 (28:52):
No!
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Whoever handled everything for you in Daytona, and she was
very nice, but whoever that was, I got her number.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I don't think I have yours, but.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
I know I have your number, Russ. I have no idea.
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
I thought you did at some point.
Speaker 7 (29:08):
I'll have this friendship test.
Speaker 5 (29:09):
Hang on. Enjoyable.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Friendship test, yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:11):
I know I have your number.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
I know I have your number because I.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Texted you when I was at Universal Studios.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Oh, okay. All right.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Well, listen, we'll make sure we make the connection because
it's exciting that Ryan's going to go on your cruise.
I didn't know that was going to happen, so that's good. So,
you know, we're always here for you, buddy. If you
need anything, just let us know.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
I love you guys. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
All right, Bert.
Speaker 6 (29:31):
Take care, man.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
So, I didn't know you were going on that cruise.
That's cool, man. When did you decide to do that?
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Just now.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
I'm trying to make that happen.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
Oh.
Speaker 7 (29:40):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (29:42):
I was like, I feel like an opportunity's here.
Speaker 7 (29:44):
Let's just go for it.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Okay, so now you're going to go on the cruise.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
Now I'm going to go.
Speaker 9 (29:47):
I've been toying with the idea. But then I was like, man,
if we can make an actual open mic happen, how
fun would that be? Because for me, you know, you
love to go on these rock and roll cruises and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, I've done it a couple times.
Speaker 9 (29:57):
But for me, the lineup as far as like... As
far as comedy goes, this is a cool thing, and
I already love cruises. And I know we've been sponsoring it.
We've run commercials for it for a little while, and
I was like, yeah, I got to go. This is serendipity, baby.
Speaker 7 (30:11):
I'm going.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But don't you have to ask your wife first?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
No. No.
Speaker 5 (30:16):
See?
Speaker 9 (30:17):
Look, this is a great opportunity. This is also going
to be fun at the same time. She will understand.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
So it's like a work vacation.
Speaker 9 (30:25):
Right.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
100%.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Tax write-off if I do comedy. When is his cruise?
Speaker 7 (30:30):
It is. That's a great question. We should probably know that.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Because remember, I'm gone for a week in November because
I'm going on my cruise.
Speaker 7 (30:36):
It is November 19th.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Okay. All right.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
Sorry.
Speaker 7 (30:40):
19th through the 23rd. Are you gone then?
Speaker 8 (30:42):
No. No.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
I'll be right.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Okay.
Speaker 9 (30:44):
Yeah, no, but it's cool, man. Like we've had a
lot of these people. We've either talked to a lot
of these people. Or they've come in. So, like, you know,
Miss Pat's been in. We've talked to Whitney Cummins on
the phone. Big Jay, I've actually done comedy with him before.
Felipe Esparza, we've talked to him. Joe DeRosa's awesome. So, like,
it'll be a good time. The wife's not going to complain.
(31:05):
She loves cruising.
Speaker 11 (31:05):
Okay, good.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Well, I'm glad you're doing it. I got to call
my wife.
Speaker 7 (31:07):
We got to go on a break. I am going
to call my wife.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
You want Dream a little to call her for you?
Speaker 7 (31:13):
No, no.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
She'll be glad to call you.
Speaker 7 (31:15):
Dream's not even here. She's sitting right here.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
What would you have your husband just made plans to
go on a work cruise without even asking you?
Speaker 7 (31:28):
I'd say have fun.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
I mean.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
No, but you're going to go.
Speaker 7 (31:31):
Oh, I have to go?
Speaker 5 (31:32):
Yeah, you got to go.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I would say you better call my mom then.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Why?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Because she's got to babysit the kids.
Speaker 7 (31:38):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Well, you don't have kids. I got a dog.
Speaker 6 (31:42):
You got a dog. Wait a minute. Just to be clear,
you just made these plans off the cuff and you're
not taking her?
Speaker 2 (31:49):
No, I'm going to go. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Hey, why?
Speaker 4 (31:51):
I can house sit. I can house sit with the dog.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
And the pool. There you go.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
And then Angelique gets a vacation.
Speaker 7 (32:00):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
Let Angelique rummage through your stuff while you're gone.
Speaker 7 (32:04):
Yeah, definitely doing that. There won't be any bits that happen.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
If I do that. She can make sure your pool
stays clean.
Speaker 10 (32:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
No, I'm not having somebody I know house shit for me.
Why not?
Speaker 4 (32:15):
I take care of your dogs.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
She's clean. Everything's good.
Speaker 9 (32:19):
I just paid $ 1, 400 in shots and vet bills so
I could board the dogs if I need to on
the whim for something like this.
Speaker 7 (32:24):
So yeah, I'm going to be cruising with Bert.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
The dogs will be fine.
Speaker 7 (32:28):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Okay, well good.
Speaker 7 (32:30):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
That's exciting.
Speaker 7 (32:32):
I got to book it right now.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
All right.
Speaker 7 (32:33):
You haven't even talked.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
To your wife.
Speaker 7 (32:35):
He's got to call her. Call her right now.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I could not imagine. I feel like I have to
talk to Mary Ellen before I make a decision like that.
Speaker 7 (32:42):
I don't have to talk to her.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Like that?
Speaker 5 (32:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (32:45):
Not like as a surprise.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
You can't surprise her with something like that?
Speaker 7 (32:47):
It's things she loves doing already.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (32:50):
It's fine.
Speaker 7 (32:51):
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
What if she already has plans?
Speaker 9 (32:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
What if she can't get off work?
Speaker 7 (32:54):
Hey, are you secretly working or on the radio right now?
Speaker 4 (32:58):
I am in the middle of a meeting.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I'll answer because I thought I was in the middle.
Speaker 8 (33:01):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Hey, it's an emergency.
Speaker 7 (33:02):
We're going on a cruise November 19th with Bert Kreischer.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (33:05):
He said I could do comedy on the boat if
we go.
Speaker 5 (33:07):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 7 (33:10):
I love my wife.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
All right.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
Love you.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Bye. Give me a review.
Speaker 5 (33:13):
All right.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Well, I guess you have it.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
That's good.
Speaker 12 (33:15):
All right.
Speaker 9 (33:16):
All right.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
Best okay ever.
Speaker 7 (33:18):
See, I know my wife, guys.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Listen, it's clear now.
Speaker 5 (33:22):
You're good.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
You're good to go. That's awesome.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
All right.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
We're going to take a little break. Dreamin' Little's still here.
I want to catch up with you because you've got
something coming up. And you sort of owe us. I'm
going to tell you straight up. You owe us something.
And I'll tell you what that is.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
After the King of Denmark.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
Awkward.
Speaker 12 (33:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
That's 10. I didn't catch that in already a couple
weeks ago. Now there's another one.
Speaker 5 (33:43):
I'll show you. Oh, good. Oh, good.
Speaker 12 (33:45):
Oh, good.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Come back.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
It's time for the King of Demo. Ryan Holmes will
make his daily proclamation. You're listening to the March of
the Morning.
Speaker 12 (33:50):
Join the Jim Colbert Show for the fourth annual Suds, Pops,
and Pints Celebrity Dog Wash. Presented by Clausman Law. Sunset
Park in Mount Dora, Saturday, September 26th. Get all the
details at realradio.fm.
104.1.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hey, welcome out of the box.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
This morning's Radio 104.1 broadcasting live on iHeartRadio. Also live
on the iHeartRadio app. And when you're on the app,
leave us a message and we'll play one like we
just played there. That's your hot takes. And we've got
a whole segment at the end of the show where
we get to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
How y'all doing?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I'm Russ with Angel and Ryan and Angelique and Detective
Barb here with us from Crimeline. Crimeline, of course, is
where if you see something that, oh boy, like I
probably should tell the police, but I don't really want
to get involved. You call Crimeline 1-800-423-TIPS or you can
go to the app. And you can give them a tip.
If you do that, it's going to be completely anonymous.
(00:52):
They don't even want to know your name. And if
that tip leads to an arrest, you are eligible for
a cash reward. And CrimeLine's been around, was it 50
years now, 40 years?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
We'll be 50 next year.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
50 next year.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Next month is 49 years.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
How was your Labor Day weekend? Well, you know where
we were on a golf course.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Golfing.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
We were getting ready for next weekend. Big weekend next weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
What's happening next weekend?
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Next weekend's that final qualifier for him to try and
go to drive chip and putt in Augusta.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
So we went up and practiced and he had his
best round.
Speaker 6 (01:29):
Of golf ever.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
How is he with pressure? Because, you know, next week.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
These people don't care about this, but I'm going.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
To tell you this story.
Speaker 7 (01:38):
We care, Barb. Two qualifiers.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
I don't care about you, Ryan. It's the listeners. I
was speaking for the listeners. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Two
qualifiers ago, he has horrible drives. He gets zeros on
two balls. He goes and chips. He's mediocre. And he
gets to the putting, and he knows he has to
sink two of the three putts. He misses the easy
six-footer by inches. He sinks the 15 and the 30 footers. Oh,
(02:06):
that's just, I'm like, he's like, well, I had to
make them. Why didn't we make the drives back here?
Cause we'd have been. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So pressure doesn't seem to get to him.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Cause when he walked to the putting, he looked at
me and he said, I got to make two of them.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
So are you hoping that his golf ability is going
to pay for college?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Is that, is that the hopes?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well, that would be nice.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
But we were at, TPC saw grass up in Jacksonville
this weekend. And up there were all the junior players
from around the world. Actually, there were, this is the
biggest new thing. And these kids.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Tiger Woods' kid was up there playing at 17 and,
They're hitting the ball as far as the pros are
hitting it. It's pretty incredible.
Speaker 5 (02:45):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And how old is your boy?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
He'll be 13 this month.
Speaker 8 (02:50):
13.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
And he's been playing golf since he was six?
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
No, younger than that.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Younger than that.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Wow.
Speaker 9 (02:54):
I know.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
So to be that, I mean, enthralled with it, I mean,
that's almost... It's very unusual, right?
Speaker 4 (03:02):
It's weird.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I like golf.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What's that word? There's a word for that. Obsessed? No,
not a virtual. If you're a young person.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Prodigy.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Prodigy. It's known like a prodigy, right?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
I don't know if he is or not. He's good.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
But we'll see.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
You know, at the end of the day, he's still
got to compete against a lot of other kids who
like the game.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
That's true, yeah. So what else is happening with you
and Crime Alert?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
So I know today, I just saw on the news,
Orange County is going to start enforcing those e-rides. They
are coming down hard.
Speaker 6 (03:35):
They are coming down hard.
Speaker 7 (03:36):
Enforcing the what? The e-bikes.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
E-bikes.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
So you have to be a certain age. You have
to have, I think, a permit at least, right?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
The bikes have to be registered with the schools and
have a tag on them. You can't sell or trade
those things.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
It's Orange County specifically right now.
Speaker 10 (03:51):
They made a point over the weekend and especially yesterday, Barb,
all the local news networks did a special on this.
So Orange County parents, I mean, just be, pay attention
to your phone. And if you, if you have, this
is the first time you're hearing this cause they're going
to send kids home. They're going to confiscate bikes.
Speaker 6 (04:09):
They're good.
Speaker 10 (04:10):
There's, A whole bunch of stuff that could potentially happen
to your kid if he's not following the rules.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I saw, this was just yesterday, or no, two days ago,
it was a mom and she had a baby on
an e-bike and then she had two other sons and
they both had e-bikes. And they were popping wheelies and
stuff and no helmets or anything. And the nerdy part
of me wanted to say something to her. Like, hey,
you probably know. But none of my business. So I
didn't say anything. So it's not against the law to
(04:39):
drive one of those without a helmet.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I think the younger ones probably had to have helmets on,
depending on their age.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They did not.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Let's just talk about stupid. You're carrying a kid.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
She was carrying a baby.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm sorry yeah and she had no helmet the baby
had and it goes.
Speaker 10 (04:53):
Across the board not just i mean it's all e-transportation
so the e-bikes the e-scooters all of that uh.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
These were e-bike and my second thought was they didn't
look like they had a hell of a lot of
money but those those are brand new and expensive looking
yeah how much do they run angel.
Speaker 10 (05:09):
Uh man it runs the gamut you could find some
for you know let's say five six hundred dollars up
to however much money you want to spend on one
they're expensive I mean, like the real good ones are
a couple thousand, you know, and it's it's it all
depends on what what how much you want to spend.
And like I get it for like there are adults.
That's their legitimate alternative form of transportation. They can't get
(05:31):
a car.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
They can't do, you know, they choose not to.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
They want they want to save the money on gas.
They want to save.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
I mean, in some way, shape or form.
Speaker 10 (05:39):
That's I'm sure there's a portion of it. But, you know,
there's a lot of people that that's just a viable
option for them because they can't afford other transportation. But again,
the parents that are going to start complaining and their
parents that are going to be upset about this, you
guys had years of to teach your kids how to
use this equipment properly, and you didn't do that, and
this is the reaction to you not teaching your kids
(06:03):
how to use these e-bikes or e-scooters or anything on
the road and be responsible about it. So in essence,
I don't hold the kids at fault. We criticize the kids,
but their parents and the parents are the ones that
are kicking down the money for this, and you didn't
teach your kid right.
Speaker 6 (06:17):
You're an awful parent.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
So what are they, like $ 600, $ 1, 000? Russ, whatever number
you want to buy.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Really?
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I like it.
Speaker 10 (06:23):
Again, there are e-bikes out there. They're at a few
thousand dollars. You're paying for a better battery capacity. You're
paying for better charge. There are some that come in
at $ 500. There are some that come in at $ 200. It's, again,
whatever your price point, and that's what makes them inviting
because for some people, again, it's easier to get a
few hundred dollars, you know, $ 500, $ 600, and get one
(06:44):
of these as opposed to getting $ 500 or $ 600 and
trying to buy a car.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
So it's a school safety thing, right?
Speaker 9 (06:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
Especially.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
All the traffic, all the kids walking, and a lot
of these kids, unfortunately, they're just going to, they're popping wheelies.
They're not abiding by the traffic laws, which they're supposed to, right?
And they're getting in front of cars who aren't seeing them.
We had it happen this weekend. One came flying across
a crosswalk, no helmet on, not paying attention. We're just
(07:15):
trying to, we're waiting, fortunately. And I don't know.
Speaker 7 (07:19):
I just, it's a problem.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
How about this part of it, Bar, in the sense
of this?
Speaker 10 (07:23):
So you've put your kid in this horrible situation where
you haven't taught them well with how to use these
or respect the roads or respect the laws of the
road and everything. Now you've put them in a situation
where now they're going to have an interaction with law enforcement,
and you probably haven't taught your kid how to engage
or talk to an officer. And your smart-ass kid who's
(07:43):
already doing wheelies and stuff on the road and doing
dumb stuff on the road is going to be smart
enough to the wrong people. And then that's going to
take a situation where it could be a teaching moment.
And you know how you get on the quick, bad
side of a law enforcement officer, especially a guy who
he knows he could— More things that are more important
(08:04):
things that he could be doing as opposed to this
duty handling kids going to school is having a smart
ass 13 year old yell at him about their e-bike,
you know?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Well, when they start losing them. Yeah, it's going to be.
I'm sorry for laughing, but it's great. If you're not
going to abide by the laws, you're going to get them.
Orange County's talking about they're going to confiscate them.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
They'll just take them from them.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
Oh, they can.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Especially when they're on the school properties.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
So if it's confiscated, so they never get it back?
Speaker 4 (08:32):
That's probably going to have to be a whole legal
civil thing going on there.
Speaker 10 (08:36):
The legal civil part is going to be the parent
is going to be on the hook for it, and
then you got to go get it.
Speaker 9 (08:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (08:40):
I mean, they probably will end up having tow trucks
show up. I mean, in essence, pick up trucks, things
and put them in pickup trucks. But it's something then
where the parent has to go pay to get it out.
It's just like if you park in a, you know,
no parking zone and your car gets towed.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Of course, kids are back in school now. And you
got P3 Campus, which is an app that you can
put on your phone. And it's sort of it is
it's like, you know, crime line. But the kids can.
type in and kind of text in if they were
they see a knife on campus or something like that
has it been busy.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
It has been very busy and in the i say
this for the past what five years the mental health
tips that we're taking about kids so that's more than
anything else unfortunately it's in the high numbers.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You mean like the cutting themselves and stuff like.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
That or just kids who are making threats or making
comments online or to their friends that are concerning and
alarming yeah And fortunately, we have good kids who are saying, uh-uh,
you know, I don't want anything happening to my friend.
And so they're giving us the tip and then we
follow up on it. But, you know, we talk to
these parents all the time. You're all driving to work
(09:49):
or you're sitting up on frigging I-4 right now. It's
a mess. Have a conversation. Give them the tool to report.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
What does that look like, uh barb so let's say
a kid uh i don't know the the something is
said it's threatening or whatever i'm gonna shoot up the
school or whatever and they type it in like does
it does police show up that day yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Well first of all That's that's you're committing a crime
by making that threat.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
So but even with the mental health issues.
Speaker 6 (10:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
We are 24 hour reactive.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So take a tip.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
And I'll tell you that most of our tips come
in right after dinner time, the dinner hour.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
They're back in their bedrooms. They shut their door and
they're on their devices and they see their friend making
some comments. So the kids will tip us and we're
going there that night. Oh, wow.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
We are knocking on the door of the parent's house saying,
where's your child? This is what they've posted. We need
to talk to them and make sure they're okay.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
What normally is the reaction of the parents? Are they
defensive or are they like, I'm going to walk?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
What scares the hell out of me is they didn't
even have a clue.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Right.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
But I didn't have a clue in fairness. I honestly,
I'm on the other side of that.
Speaker 11 (11:01):
That's it's, it's a really hard thing to put the
parent there because I, From when Victoria did, when my
daughter did this, she used her friend's phone to post
on a separate account that she did that I didn't
know about.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
So it's not fair to hold the parent responsible for
not knowing because as much as we try to know,
sometimes they are just smarter than us. They are on
this phone all the time. They know how to hide
the apps. They know how to do all this and that.
And we're playing catch up.
Speaker 11 (11:30):
And it's even more now than what it was even
when she did it years ago. So yes, there is
a version of, don't get me wrong, there is a
version of parents not knowing because they choose not to.
And there is a version of parents that are trying
that just can't keep up fast enough.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
When you say she did it, like I was here
and I can't even remember the whole story. It's just
for the audience that doesn't know what you're talking about.
When you say she did.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
It, you mean?
Speaker 11 (11:54):
My daughter, Victoria, did that when she was in middle school.
And so I was very strict with the phones.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I was very strict with social media. They weren't allowed
to have that, both of my children.
Speaker 11 (12:04):
And so when she was at school, she was being bullied.
But when she was at school, she went on a
friend's phone, went on a different account, and then posted
a note about being so depressed and suicide. And that
is where her friend then called the principal of the
school and the principal of the school.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Called me and said, we need to have a meeting
right now. And I didn't have a clue.
Speaker 11 (12:29):
And then I found out so many different things because
kids wear sweatshirts all the time. Now we're in Florida
and kids love wearing sweatshirts and that hasn't changed. It's
actually become more, but I didn't realize that she was self-harming.
I sent her to school. I packed her lunch. When
she came home, her lunch was gone. I didn't know
she was giving her lunch to other kids.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
I don't know that. I'm not at the school. I
just see the lunchbox is empty. I ask if she's eaten.
Speaker 7 (12:52):
She hasn't.
Speaker 11 (12:54):
There are so many things that happen when you're not there,
no matter how much you try. So you do have
to rely on friends, on the teachers, on school administrators.
There's so many other things that you have to rely
on as well, even if you are trying in the home.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Communication is a big part of that too, right?
Speaker 7 (13:13):
Yes, 100%.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
So at some point, they get to the point where
they don't talk to you anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They're whatever. They become little animals.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
All grown up now.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 10 (13:25):
To that point, though, I just want to, as you
guys were talking about, I wanted to stress again, because
like for my sister, or my sister, my daughter and
her school, because they had a tragic event happen about
this time. September is globally recognized as Suicide Prevention Month.
And so a lot of the schools are doing, you know,
having these conversations and heightened awareness of it. So just that,
(13:47):
you know, that your kid, because it happened with my
daughter and I, she made a post about it. And
I didn't know it was Suicide Prevention Month. And I
called her. I was like, hey, what's going on?
Speaker 6 (13:56):
And she's like, no, Dad.
Speaker 10 (13:56):
And she reminded me what happened a year ago at
her school and what was going on. And I was like, man,
that's awesome. And thank you for reminding me. And she's like, well, Dad,
thanks for calling. I'm kind of thankful.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
But that's what you can do is make sure your
kids have P3 Campus on their phone because if they
hear a friend saying something that is alarming like that or.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Whatever– Then, you know, we can get help out there quickly.
I didn't realize it was that quick.
Speaker 6 (14:20):
That's good, Barb.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
But have the come. I'm talking to him.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:23):
A hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Because a lot of us, you know, they go do
their thing. Like I say, they go to their bedrooms,
they shut their doors, having open conversations and asking the
hard questions.
Speaker 12 (14:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
More than just I'm fine. Don't accept I'm fine. Don't
accept I'm fine.
Speaker 11 (14:36):
Because it's the easiest cop out and I'm fine normally
means that something else is wrong. And what you don't
realize is that the kids actually come to you well
beforehand and they ask you or.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
They tell you, hey, Susie Q's not my friend. And
you're like, oh, it's OK. It'll be fine.
Speaker 11 (14:51):
No worries, because you're thinking of an adult brain not
a child brain so.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
So the app is p3 campus and it goes directly
to crimeline which is also their phone number is 1-800-423-TIPS
thank you detective barb thanks guys all right don't go
anywhere you're listening to the match of the morning Hey,
I can write a little bit. We're going to have
Bert Kreischer will be on the phone with us. We'll
get to chat with him for a little bit.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I'm Russ with Angel Angelique, Ryan Holmes and Miss Monster Burlesque.
Dream a little is back from from last week. So
nice to you last week. You did us a favor.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
You know, I had to.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I appreciate it. Ryan, obviously, he was a little flabbergasted.
A little. And he was a little upset that his...
True or false, you were a little upset that your
wife didn't get jealous? That was a thing that went
through your head?
Speaker 9 (15:47):
I'm not allowed to talk about this anymore. laughter So
we're just going to move on about what my wife's
thoughts about this are. And she would lay out at me.
She is not part of the show. Keep her name
out of my mouth.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Various things.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I've heard all that stuff before. I know what you're
talking about.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I get it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Well.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Hey, dream a little. So last we heard, you went
on a cruise, right?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah, with the kids. We went on a Disney cruise.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
The Disney cruise.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought, man, I didn't want
to go on a Disney cruise. It's going to be
all kid stuff, blah, blah, blah. But they do have
an area where it's just for adults.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
There's like a whole half of the ship that's just
for adults.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
And they plan stuff just for 18 and up and
21 and up and stuff like that.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
So did you spend most of the time with your
husband and let the kids go do their thing or.
Speaker 8 (16:37):
The second we step on that boat, we are chopped liver.
Like there's a kids club. There's like a tweens club.
There's a teens club. Like we're, they were like, yeah,
they're like, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Mickey is in the kids club.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
They don't even want to deal with you. Yeah, no.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Our daughter would live down there.
Speaker 8 (16:58):
She, she would, she has to come out to eat
and she gets really upset about it.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Really upset about it.
Speaker 9 (17:03):
What do you mean it's lunchtime?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I found it to be a really great cruise. It
really was.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
It was a lot of fun. We had a blast.
Speaker 8 (17:12):
We had a little bit of weather one day when
we were at Castaway Cay.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
A little bit of weather.
Speaker 7 (17:17):
A little scary weather. We hung out on the boat.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
So all of those crews, and I don't know if
you know this, Angel, but like all of these cruise companies,
they basically.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Go and they buy their own island.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
And then they make it like a destination.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So they take that island and they turn it into
something fancy. And Disney's done, obviously.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
They too.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
They had the correct change.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Yeah, they have too.
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Well, I think they own Castaway Cay and it's just that,
but they have like a piece.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Of like another island.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Right.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Right.
Speaker 10 (17:47):
I've heard all this with my kid. She's gotten to
do this... She's cruised about 10, 15 times now. But
when she was a kid, her favorite was the Disney cruise.
And it's like you were saying, Dreamer, where... basically, and
I think our grandparents loved it for this reason is
that the kids got to go and basically have their
whole day planned and grandma and grandpa got to chill.
Speaker 6 (18:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (18:10):
I mean, there's a spa, there's like little lounges and stuff.
Speaker 7 (18:14):
It's great.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
So your plan, your next plan is to go to
Vegas for a big competition. And I want to talk
about that and find out about that. We got to
take a little bit of a break now though, because
we have a Bert Kreischer and he's calling at a
particular time and we're going to make sure that we, we,
you know, time it right. So, When we come back,
we'll talk to Bert Kreischer. Don't go anywhere. You're listening
to the March of the Morning. Real Radio 104.1 broadcasting
(18:35):
live on iHeartRadio. I'm Russ Rollins along with Angel and Ryan.
Angelique's running around here somewhere.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
She'll be back. And on the line with us right now,
we've got a good buddy of ours, Bert Kreischer.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Bert.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
How you been, man? What's going on?
Speaker 5 (18:50):
How you doing, buddy? I've been phenomenal. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 8 (18:54):
I know.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I see you, and you look like you're in perfect
shape now. You went from not, and now it looks
like you're in perfect shape.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Do you feel different? Do you feel better?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
How are you feeling? I, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
So just to be clear, everyone, I started Manjaro November
last year, and then I got a blood clot.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
In January where I had to quit.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Drinking for like seven months.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And so, and then, and so then I felt great.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
I lost like 50 pounds to 225. I'm benching like 225,
10 times. I worked out with a trainer. I feel great.
I'm running like my pace is an eight minute mile.
So I feel incredible. But my problem was I I was.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Having a hard time getting alcohol back in my life.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
Because when you feel.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
That, and you know me, I love the thing about
not being able.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
To drink the way you want to is you lose spontaneity.
And when you lose spontaneity, you lose your sparkle. You
lose the thing that drives you. The thing where you go,
you go, you know what?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Let's open a bottle of champagne.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
Who cares if it's 8 a.m.? Who cares?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
And so I've been having a hard time getting my.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Drinking back in my life. And the other day, I
got it back. We were on a riverboat cruise.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, we were on a riverboat cruise in Chicago. And
my daughter goes, it's like noon.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
She goes, a little day drinking wouldn't be bad. And
I had the race in my heart.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I killed three Modelo Tallboys on a boat within an hour.
And I'm like, I'm back, baby. I drank the whole
time on the plane. And then, and then, like a
good person, I didn't drink last night.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
I got a great night of sleep.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
88% recovery.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
I'm working out today. I won't drink tonight, but I'll
drink tomorrow afternoon.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Like I day drinking is the key.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
You sleep afterwards.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Hey, no, you've, I'm sure you've heard this before and look,
you sound like the same guy. So I'm not saying
this is you, but have you thought about, or were
you worried about, they do say that when comedians are,
you know, are you get to know them when they're
big and then they lose weight. It's like, ah, you're
not as funny as you used to be when you
were a fat guy. Were you worried about losing the funny?
If you lost the weight.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
No, I don't look like Mario Lopez.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
No, you look pretty good, bro.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Guys, look around the room. I'm still 225 pounds.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I'm not in great shape.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Are you a healthy dad bod then?
Speaker 9 (21:14):
I am.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
I am like sneak. I'll tell you what I am.
If you put your arm around my shoulder to take
a picture, you'll go, whoa, you work out. That's it.
That's the only thing.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
The only way you'll notice that I work out is
if you touch my shoulders.
Speaker 7 (21:27):
Not the waist.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
No, I mean, I look, I look normal. Like, I
think I look better in clothes. Here's the deal is
I don't look.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Perfect, but I look healthy. Like I think my face
looks healthy.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
My, my, my, I'm not jetting out of my shirts.
Like I'm not baby doll teeing on my shirt.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So I'm not red. I don't have rosacea. All the
things that.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Make you look unhealthy. That's the thing about.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
When you get, when you're a fat.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
Comedian, it's like, if you're a fat comedian.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And you just got a little girth on you.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Everyone's happy. Like stop it. Right.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
The second is, The second Stavi turns 50, he's not
going to look good.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
And, and that's what happened to me is I turned.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
50 and everyone's like, he doesn't look good. And that's
when you got.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
To like, that's when all the weight game catches.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Up to you and your numbers start coming in weird
and you're, and you can see it in your skin
and your face and you're out of breath and you're
sweating in an interview.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
You weren't like leaning into it.
Speaker 8 (22:25):
Right.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And you took your shirt off and everybody laughed. Oh,
look at him taking his shirt off. And now you
take your shirt off. It's probably not as funny.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
Right.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
No, it's.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So funny.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Hey, tell us about tell us about the cruise, because
on our radio station, we've been running spots and everything
for people to to go on the the Bert Kreischer
fully loaded at sea cruise.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Tell us about that.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
When's it happening? And is this the first one that
you did with your name on it?
Speaker 5 (22:52):
No, I did.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
So I did this two years ago, I think, and
it was the funnest thing.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
I've ever done in my entire life. And by the way,
it completely has my thumbprint all over it. The first
thing I'll say is last year, two people called me
and they got pregnant on the cruise.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And they're like, yeah, we just wanted you to know.
So Leanne, my wife's like, oh, how sweet is that?
So I called my business manager. I go, yeah, let's
start college funds for these kids. And Leanne's like, what
are you doing?
Speaker 5 (23:18):
I go, it's two grand, you know, a.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Thousand dollars a kid.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
It's going to appreciate all the time. They're 18.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
They'll have to go to college.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And Leanne's like, well, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
So if you get pregnant on my cruise, I started
college fun for that.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
That's a great gimmick. I love it. That's good.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And there's, and there's no real way to paternity test this,
like in the NBA.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
So technically if you're pregnant in the month of November.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
You're on my cruise and Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
Oh, start a college fund. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Second, this is my favorite thing we did.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Last year, we're doing the Speedo contest, and Miss Pat
is on the cruise. Whitney Cummings, Felipe Esparza, Big Jay Oakston,
Sam Jay, Joe DeRosa. We have a crazy list of
comedians on this quiz. Rosebud Baker. And so Miss Pat.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Was the judge of the Speedo contest, and she.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Starts making fun of, because it's a lot of white guys, the.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Lack of girth on the boat.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Right, right, right.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
And so- I casually said, I'll.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Tell you what, I'll double down on that. I'll give
$ 5, 000 to the person with the smallest junk on the boat.
And There was a line. There was a line.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Old white guys.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
And there, Miss Pat was the judge.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
And everyone showed them. And it was a tie. Two
guys tied. They had micro wieners. And so we gave
them both five grand. I love it. And just to
tell you, that's the kind of cruise this is. We
drank so much booze the first night they ran out
of vodka. The first night. Right when we left the port.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
And they had to send a chase boat to.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
The island to turn around and bring back more vodka.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Hey, so when they go on your cruise, do they
have that option where you can have all you can
drink kind of a thing?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Is that part of the deal?
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Yes. We broke all the records. When we did it,
we broke all the records. Most.
Booze ever drank on a cruise. Most, uh, most drink
packages ever bought most gambling ever. I mean, we broke
every record for that cruise. So, I mean, it's a
blast thing, you know, and it's just, my fans are,
(25:17):
they're not like, uh, internet troll type people. They're regular people.
So like it's everyone's hanging out. Everyone keeps in touch.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
We all, everyone goes up and around sunset to watch
the dock siders on top.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
On the Lido deck.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I mean, and all the, all the comics hang out.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
They all gamble all night.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
There's very little, because we're all podcasters.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
I feel like, you know, everyone kind of feels like
they know us and we feel like we know our fans. Right.
So it's really immersible.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I can imagine.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
You're probably really good at just talking to everybody. Like, like, like,
you know, small talking with everybody.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Uh, I am, but I feel like, you know, it's like, I, I,
that's how I.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Met Rogan was like, I listened to his podcast. And
then when I went to his house, I felt like
I knew him. Right.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
And then I started talking like I knew him. And
you know, what happens with like fans will come up
and they're like, uh, heard I was taking a driver's test.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And then you just start talking to them. Because you
share so much.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I mean, you have to know what that feels like.
Speaker 6 (26:10):
Oh, I do, yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
You've been sharing your life on radio for so long.
People come up to you, and there's really no separation
of church and state. You just kind of start talking.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Ryan, question for Bert Kreischer. By the way, the Bert
Kreischer Cruise coming up soon. If you want to go
on the cruise, go to BertKreischerCruise.com. Bert, I'm going on
your cruise, man. I love all your events. They're very fun.
The Tampa run you did was cool. Hey, though, can
we do an open mic on the cruise? Can we
talk to the cruise director or something and make that happen?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Done.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
100%.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Are you really going on his cruise?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah, I'm going on his cruise.
Speaker 7 (26:42):
I love Bert Kreiser. I love cruising. There's like two
of my favorite things.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I didn't know you were going to go on Bert
Kreiser's cruise.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
You should have told me before we talked to him.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Well, I want to surprise everybody.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
A hundred percent. We'll do an open mic. A hundred percent. Hell,
you know what? Well, why don't we just steal, kill
Tony's idea?
Speaker 7 (26:57):
I didn't want to say that, but yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
We'll do Hurt Bert, and I'll be the judge, and
we'll just pull names out of the hat and have
them do stand-up. I know Tony well enough where I
can steal his ideas.
Speaker 7 (27:11):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
So, Ryan, you'll do stand-up on the cruise?
Speaker 9 (27:16):
Yeah, that's what I want to do. Then I can
say I did stand-up on Bert's cruise as well because
I'm like, was it open mic?
Speaker 7 (27:21):
But I don't have to say that part.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
Oh.
Speaker 7 (27:24):
So, done and done.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Yeah, I'm doing, we got, everyone's doing stand-up, everyone's doing podcasts,
and then I'm doing a best of one night where
people can submit the joke they want me to tell
from any of my specials, and I'll do that joke.
But let's do it.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Open mic, open mic, and guess who's going on.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Stage that night? Leanne Kreischer.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Oh, hell yeah. Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 7 (27:44):
Is she good?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Is she good?
Speaker 7 (27:46):
How long, I mean, like, is that hard for you
to watch?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Uh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
She says funny things, but she doesn't know she's funny.
Like the other day, someone was talking about AI and
how it's taking all the jobs, and she bragged.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
She goes, well, I'll tell you one thing. I don't
have to worry about AI taking any of.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
My family's jobs.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
And I was like, that's not something to brag.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
About, babe.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I was like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Uh, well, Hey, listen, always, always good to hear from you,
but I know you got, you're doing a bunch of
phone calls this morning to promote it, but obviously if
you're back in Orlando, we'd love to see you and, uh,
and nothing, but, uh, you know, nothing but love your way, man.
You guys, you're doing a great job. And, and, uh,
and then now I know that Ryan's going on your cruise.
So we'll talk about it more.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Ryan, let me, uh, do me a favor, hit me up.
I think you guys, you guys have my number, hit
me up and, uh, and we'll organize the open mic,
and you will be the very first. I won't put
you the first on. We'll have Leanne go first. You'll
go fourth.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Okay, perfect. And I don't think we have your number anymore, Bert.
I think I had, like, one of your.
Speaker 6 (28:48):
The old number?
Speaker 5 (28:50):
No!
Speaker 1 (28:51):
One of my burner phones?
Speaker 5 (28:52):
No!
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Whoever handled everything for you in Daytona, and she was
very nice, but whoever that was, I got her number.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I don't think I have yours, but.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
I know I have your number, Russ. I have no idea.
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
I thought you did at some point.
Speaker 7 (29:08):
I'll have this friendship test.
Speaker 5 (29:09):
Hang on. Enjoyable.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Friendship test, yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:11):
I know I have your number.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
I know I have your number because I.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Texted you when I was at Universal Studios.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Oh, okay. All right.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Well, listen, we'll make sure we make the connection because
it's exciting that Ryan's going to go on your cruise.
I didn't know that was going to happen, so that's good. So,
you know, we're always here for you, buddy. If you
need anything, just let us know.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
I love you guys. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
All right, Bert.
Speaker 6 (29:31):
Take care, man.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
So, I didn't know you were going on that cruise.
That's cool, man. When did you decide to do that?
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Just now.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
I'm trying to make that happen.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
Oh.
Speaker 7 (29:40):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (29:42):
I was like, I feel like an opportunity's here.
Speaker 7 (29:44):
Let's just go for it.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Okay, so now you're going to go on the cruise.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
Now I'm going to go.
Speaker 9 (29:47):
I've been toying with the idea. But then I was like, man,
if we can make an actual open mic happen, how
fun would that be? Because for me, you know, you
love to go on these rock and roll cruises and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, I've done it a couple times.
Speaker 9 (29:57):
But for me, the lineup as far as like... As
far as comedy goes, this is a cool thing, and
I already love cruises. And I know we've been sponsoring it.
We've run commercials for it for a little while, and
I was like, yeah, I got to go. This is serendipity, baby.
Speaker 7 (30:11):
I'm going.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But don't you have to ask your wife first?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
No. No.
Speaker 5 (30:16):
See?
Speaker 9 (30:17):
Look, this is a great opportunity. This is also going
to be fun at the same time. She will understand.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
So it's like a work vacation.
Speaker 9 (30:25):
Right.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
100%.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Tax write-off if I do comedy. When is his cruise?
Speaker 7 (30:30):
It is. That's a great question. We should probably know that.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Because remember, I'm gone for a week in November because
I'm going on my cruise.
Speaker 7 (30:36):
It is November 19th.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Okay. All right.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
Sorry.
Speaker 7 (30:40):
19th through the 23rd. Are you gone then?
Speaker 8 (30:42):
No. No.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
I'll be right.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Okay.
Speaker 9 (30:44):
Yeah, no, but it's cool, man. Like we've had a
lot of these people. We've either talked to a lot
of these people. Or they've come in. So, like, you know,
Miss Pat's been in. We've talked to Whitney Cummins on
the phone. Big Jay, I've actually done comedy with him before.
Felipe Esparza, we've talked to him. Joe DeRosa's awesome. So, like,
it'll be a good time. The wife's not going to complain.
(31:05):
She loves cruising.
Speaker 11 (31:05):
Okay, good.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Well, I'm glad you're doing it. I got to call
my wife.
Speaker 7 (31:07):
We got to go on a break. I am going
to call my wife.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
You want Dream a little to call her for you?
Speaker 7 (31:13):
No, no.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
She'll be glad to call you.
Speaker 7 (31:15):
Dream's not even here. She's sitting right here.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
What would you have your husband just made plans to
go on a work cruise without even asking you?
Speaker 7 (31:28):
I'd say have fun.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
I mean.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
No, but you're going to go.
Speaker 7 (31:31):
Oh, I have to go?
Speaker 5 (31:32):
Yeah, you got to go.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I would say you better call my mom then.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Why?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Because she's got to babysit the kids.
Speaker 7 (31:38):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Well, you don't have kids. I got a dog.
Speaker 6 (31:42):
You got a dog. Wait a minute. Just to be clear,
you just made these plans off the cuff and you're
not taking her?
Speaker 2 (31:49):
No, I'm going to go. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Hey, why?
Speaker 4 (31:51):
I can house sit. I can house sit with the dog.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
And the pool. There you go.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
And then Angelique gets a vacation.
Speaker 7 (32:00):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
Let Angelique rummage through your stuff while you're gone.
Speaker 7 (32:04):
Yeah, definitely doing that. There won't be any bits that happen.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
If I do that. She can make sure your pool
stays clean.
Speaker 10 (32:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
No, I'm not having somebody I know house shit for me.
Why not?
Speaker 4 (32:15):
I take care of your dogs.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
She's clean. Everything's good.
Speaker 9 (32:19):
I just paid $ 1, 400 in shots and vet bills so
I could board the dogs if I need to on
the whim for something like this.
Speaker 7 (32:24):
So yeah, I'm going to be cruising with Bert.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
The dogs will be fine.
Speaker 7 (32:28):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Okay, well good.
Speaker 7 (32:30):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
That's exciting.
Speaker 7 (32:32):
I got to book it right now.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
All right.
Speaker 7 (32:33):
You haven't even talked.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
To your wife.
Speaker 7 (32:35):
He's got to call her. Call her right now.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I could not imagine. I feel like I have to
talk to Mary Ellen before I make a decision like that.
Speaker 7 (32:42):
I don't have to talk to her.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Like that?
Speaker 5 (32:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (32:45):
Not like as a surprise.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
You can't surprise her with something like that?
Speaker 7 (32:47):
It's things she loves doing already.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (32:50):
It's fine.
Speaker 7 (32:51):
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
What if she already has plans?
Speaker 9 (32:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
What if she can't get off work?
Speaker 7 (32:54):
Hey, are you secretly working or on the radio right now?
Speaker 4 (32:58):
I am in the middle of a meeting.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I'll answer because I thought I was in the middle.
Speaker 8 (33:01):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Hey, it's an emergency.
Speaker 7 (33:02):
We're going on a cruise November 19th with Bert Kreischer.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (33:05):
He said I could do comedy on the boat if
we go.
Speaker 5 (33:07):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 7 (33:10):
I love my wife.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
All right.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
Love you.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Bye. Give me a review.
Speaker 5 (33:13):
All right.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Well, I guess you have it.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
That's good.
Speaker 12 (33:15):
All right.
Speaker 9 (33:16):
All right.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
Best okay ever.
Speaker 7 (33:18):
See, I know my wife, guys.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Listen, it's clear now.
Speaker 5 (33:22):
You're good.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
You're good to go. That's awesome.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
All right.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
We're going to take a little break. Dreamin' Little's still here.
I want to catch up with you because you've got
something coming up. And you sort of owe us. I'm
going to tell you straight up. You owe us something.
And I'll tell you what that is.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
After the King of Denmark.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
Awkward.
Speaker 12 (33:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
That's 10. I didn't catch that in already a couple
weeks ago. Now there's another one.
Speaker 5 (33:43):
I'll show you. Oh, good. Oh, good.
Speaker 12 (33:45):
Oh, good.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Come back.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
It's time for the King of Demo. Ryan Holmes will
make his daily proclamation. You're listening to the March of
the Morning.
Speaker 12 (33:50):
Join the Jim Colbert Show for the fourth annual Suds, Pops,
and Pints Celebrity Dog Wash. Presented by Clausman Law. Sunset
Park in Mount Dora, Saturday, September 26th. Get all the
details at realradio.fm.
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