October 30, 2024 • 46 mins
The thrilling conclusion! The gang find the remains of Fritz's late uncle, Felix, but nothing is ever easy at the Fort. Music by Jeff Ilgenfritz
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The distinct cracking of farm fresh eggs on the side
of a cast iron skillet gently awakens the crew of
Nick Spry, Marie, Angela Prime and Ruts. As Mandaddy Hi
is preparing the largest of breakfasts. The underground chamber, once
long forgotten to all but the original Angela Prime, is
(00:21):
filled with the savory aromas of sizzling fat back bacon,
sunnyside up eggs, scrambled eggs, eggs over medium, two eggs, benedict,
some overeasies, and a shet ton of toes. The five
strong combatants delight with song and story of their journeys, both.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Past in future. As bold black coffee is served with sweetened.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Cream, rosemary, buttered and brightly flavored currants served with the
finest brambled BlackBerry jam ends the deliciously hearty meal. The
bountiful feast is pregnant with the joyous and ever vescent
laughter that is only share between fast friends and moments
of relief after endeavoring worrisome bouts of estrangement, despair and
(01:07):
self town, and is ended with a round of applause
for Chef Mandaddy in an admittedly rare move, but he
crushed and snorted an ambient trademark the night before he
procured from Nick's Bryane and slept an entire ten hours
straight through, so why not. The troops are headed out
of the fort's basement to start their perilous nine minutes
(01:29):
sojourned to the attic, where Angeli Prime insists is the
last stop. The four brave warriors and also nicksbry approached
the final steps leading to the dusty attic entrance and
pushed forth and abnormally size wooden door. Astonishingly, they enter
a vast arena like room sixty.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Feet by sixty feet, with.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
The high vaulted ceiling climbing another sixty feet in the air.
As their eyes adjust to the dark and surroundings, the
ceiling comes into view, a cartoonish outline of a tall,
wildly flailing man has broken in, seemingly falling from the
roof straight down to the scattered coins of a large treasure.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
This is the only sunlight that enters here.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Upon the collection of the sordid riches and spoils from
across the world over lies a desecrated and partially open
solid gold urn, its sad ashen.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Contents like sand from the cracked hour glass.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Have softly spilled upon the wooden planks the flooring for
the past several years. Centered in the middle of the room,
in the attic of Fort Fritz, a person is seated
squarely on a wooden chair with surprisingly great lumbar support.
The gang rubbed their eyes to see the individual light
a cigarette in the darkness and responds with.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
It's me, Sabrina.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
What are you doing in the attic?
Speaker 4 (02:55):
How you doing?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Who is this?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
My name is formerly Sabrina. Here on forward, it's Lady SunRail.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Lady sun Rail like that?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Wow, Yeah, there dot come from. Wait, how did you
know how to do that?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It happens everywhere I go when I say that. Yeah,
this is a dungeon. Added, did you guys get check
your yeah, right under one.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Of your boots, this one, says Fritz.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yours says Angela. Yeah, Angela the Orcerer. I'm a half
orc sorcerer.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
I always assumed that, but now I'm glad I know it.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
This is bad, says here. I'm a rogue elf. That's right, Maria,
you are a rogue elf.
Speaker 6 (03:42):
I'm and I'm a rock gnome. I'm a druid and
a criminal.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I'm a criminal too.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
It does have a question mark. What is crime? You'll
find out in a little bit.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
Says here that I am mantor the incredulous, but I'll
believe I also.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Don't know the definition of incredulous.
Speaker 7 (04:01):
But I don't believe you don't know that I am.
I'm dragonborn and I'm a ranger.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Cool. I get to I get to I get to range.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Thank you for you've been at heart deep down and
you Fritzy.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Let's see.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
I am a level two warlock, a level one paladin,
and a level one wizard, and I'm a sage half elf.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Wait, guy, going multi class over here?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
How is in your head with all those personalities fighting?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Typical Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
There's no judgment here until the ultimate judgment happens.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Wow, ultimate judgments. I like smaller.
Speaker 9 (04:38):
Judgments here before you are a lot. I don't know
that we could do ultimate judgment right now.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
You have no choice because there's no door in the
attic anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, man, how did you do that? Lady Sun? It's
been a while since we played a game of D
and D.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
You guys like yeah.
Speaker 7 (04:58):
Like like the last time I was like addicts was
our was our dungeon Mounsey?
Speaker 5 (05:03):
What happened to him?
Speaker 8 (05:04):
Sadly he's no longer with us, really, what happened to him?
He's in DC for the next time.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I kind of remember.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Doing this, right, Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
That's actually very important because I have no idea what
I'm doing. Great, however, I am the dungeon master. I
dare you to go first.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
So everything we have done over the last week or
so has pointed us to a D and D game
in the attic, welcome, you are new here.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
You're totally new here. This is exactly what always happened.
Speaker 7 (05:36):
It always leads to a D and D game, or
a musical, or like a Choose YOURWN adventure.
Speaker 9 (05:40):
I mean, we almost just got killed twelve hours ago,
but okay, a normal as well.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
So there's a crazy looking man in terror.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Falling the fell through here. I remember the treasure.
Speaker 7 (05:49):
I don't remember her, I don't remember feeling so I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That was Do we post me real quick? That's exactly wearing.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
The same thing.
Speaker 9 (05:57):
We also haven't really talked about the fact that they
are else a treasure here.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
We went straight to the game's been sitting here. This
whole time, and you guys haven't done anything with it.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm filling my pockets.
Speaker 8 (06:11):
Can I roll for initiative? To check under the floor
and to make sure there's no traps.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Be careful.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
Four look around, Be careful, Be careful, and to see
if you can find a trap or not.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's a one, all right, So that is actually not
a trap door. It does look like one, but instead
your shoes are wet.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
I want to check the walls because I don't believe
that you could make a door just disappear, So I
want to check.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Or anything.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Wall four three three that's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I mean it's decent. This actually isn't a wall. It's
a giant alley d.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Screen behind that picture frame over there.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Colors always are the eyes following you when you're okay,
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Going to tears like kind.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Of Moldy and angel. Four They got three yea.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Well, uh, surprise, surprise.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
That is actually uncovering a tiny little safe.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Safe in the room.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
There is a safe in the room.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Well, we got to get in that safe, right, you want.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
The painting just came off and you have to keep
it now, all right.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I was gonna say I liked it so good. Angel
has a painting with the fu want to worth a
lot one day.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I'm telling you, Marie, you look like you gotta be
in your bonnet.
Speaker 9 (07:41):
So I would like to check out the very obvious
shrine in the middle of the room.
Speaker 10 (07:47):
Talk about clear on the top of it. Just bring
let's let's see it then, Oh.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
Boy, God to go on over ahead your hand.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Out from the earth.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
A noxious and thick smoke spews forth. Its rancor is undeniable,
and the stench of the fires from health now and
too in every direction. From this death, the languid soul
of misery itself elongates upwards and stretches.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Forward with new found purpose.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Now towering over twenty five feet in the air, the long,
smoldering phoenix like creamines of the evil Felix Fritz strikes
terror in the hearts of the five future corpses. Staring back,
Felix Fritz has risen to kill again.
Speaker 11 (08:43):
You are all gonna be my pitches, a great, huge,
elongated Felix.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
This is really what I did not want.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Today, way bigger than.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
Better than you off over there, dud.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
Sorry, guys, we have to him up right about big
time man.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
All right, so we all agree, right.
Speaker 7 (09:09):
Yeah, all right, Well it looks like I got the
initiative on this one. So I'm gonna I'm gonna grab
my hand axe old and I'm gonna just go just
run straight at him, right at the juggler. Let's see
if I get an initiative to get this asshole.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, rolling G six, that's not good.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Felix is rolling now, that's a three.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Damn it. I'm not only in deep ship. I've been
covered now.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Shit here, I am rolling, d h. That looks like
a one.
Speaker 7 (09:42):
Yeah, your big cold touch didn't touch my cold. Who's
gonna go next?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Let me do it? Let me do it, do Come on.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Nick, I'm freaking out.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
I'm gonna try and do some thunderwave.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Man, Daddy made me a full English breakfast earlier, and
I had a bunch of beans.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Delicious, talking about a part. So I'm rolling the six
to see who's batting.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
Let's get your issue.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Damn it. It's a one. Oh no, a three.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Blast that you.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Oh god got a five?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah, that's a hit.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
Six six for damage, six for damage.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
It's just awful.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
It's a glancing blow, but it's a good blow.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I got a little bit of that underway. It's a
little bit nice.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
You can see a little nick on the top of
his ear.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
All right, well, so little one miss to fight Felix.
But this is really imposing at the moment. Now it's on.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
All right too for initiative.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Felix is now rolling for initiative, and that's a three.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
Way you get your attack time.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
All right, so's pick your thing, man and I just
try to be friendship is.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Reject You're gonna wish you didn't do that. We're about
to get dragon breathed.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Oh my god, or not?
Speaker 12 (11:07):
The three?
Speaker 7 (11:08):
The three survived the dragon bread.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
It's good. It doesn't smell good.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
He's still aim all.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Right, Angela, sorry for you to kick some ass.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
So come on, Felix rolling That is a five.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
You both get simultaneous attack, all right, So let's have
Angelau go first.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I would like to do can spear attack? Is that
a question?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Spirit chest say it with convictory?
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Correct, Spirit, that's the Angela, we know, and.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh I got five. I got five.
Speaker 7 (11:56):
Your your attack is valid, So roll for damage to
just what of attack are you going for?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
What kind of attack? With the worst kind of attack?
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Oh god?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You scared because I'm giving you fear. You're giving me fear.
You figure scared.
Speaker 7 (12:13):
Now here's some fear that means that you're gonna be
You're not gonna be able to participate in the next
two rounds you get.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
You get afraid. You can't attack anymore because I'm afraid.
She has to roll a D give me anxiety.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I already have that.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
Everyone has it.
Speaker 7 (12:32):
It's no fear for you, no fear, the fear.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I wasn't even afraid.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
Angela laughs at the fear. She looks at the face.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
For Felix. Right, yeah, sure, you turn you so many
things I want to say to you, uncle, you pieces.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
What do you how about that?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Felix rules A one.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
Oh yeah, you enjoying it.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I Am going to get you up with a sickle attack.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
I mean, you get six, that's a critical hit. If
you get if you get a natural six after that,
that's a bit. We're going to talk off a lot.
You're doing a six for that damage.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Oh god, look.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
I mean we're trying to hack away at this entity,
this thing and uh now yeah, and we got there
their surrogate and now it's I guess it's their turn.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
They get to try to attack. Who are you attacking?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I think it's gonna be you.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Okay, Felix, rolls are.
Speaker 7 (13:55):
One critical hit if I get that?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (14:01):
I'm really enjoying. I'm enjoying the acts. It feels good
in my hand. I'm a ranger. I don't care about
the spell.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Captain, you're a ranger because you can't be a cup.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
I'm going to for the juggler, going right for the jeller.
I'm jumping the air, hold the axe in both hands.
Let's make this happen. Close critical so close to seven
D six now for damage six wow?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All right, So Felix is now rolling D six.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I'm going to be attacking Maria.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Marie, all right, ring it all right? Rolling a six
and it's a three? Thanks right, hey, yeah all Maria,
I guess well and it's a four Marie counter right.
Speaker 9 (14:50):
So we're just gonna go pretty direct, and I am
just gonna go for my dagger.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
Throw god A classic, A classic.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, you can't beat that, right, all right, it's a four.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You got it? Then you got it? Now roll for damage.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
That's a one.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Wow, okay, so turn hit my son? Thank you? What's
that hit? Point down at it.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
There should be like bars like in a video game above.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Our little health.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Felix went from fifty two to thirty eight.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Oh yeah, you know what, I'm gonna make a little
spelling zapped out above her.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
It's very helpful, Thank you?
Speaker 5 (15:22):
All right?
Speaker 7 (15:23):
All right, Phillips, I'm coming for you. I got a
spear and I'm looking at that rib cage. I got
a spear and I'm looking at that rib cage.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Got my hand religious in the back of the spear.
I'm old.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
I'm just gonna push it right in three. I got
it three so possible.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
It very well could be Felix G five. So pick
what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I'm gonna attack you with I'm using that chromatic.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Oh that has a plus four attack you're screwing?
Speaker 3 (15:52):
All right?
Speaker 10 (15:52):
What the or?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I guess? Oh yeah, so what's going on?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Lady? Son?
Speaker 5 (15:59):
Right? No hit nice?
Speaker 6 (16:02):
Try try let's rule for initiative.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
I'm trying to hit answers mixed by rolling a D six.
That's the five, good damn it, and that's a two.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
From bring it ud bring the heat?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
What you got wrong with my hand?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I think it's going to last your eyes too I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Go with oh my god, go with the classics.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
That's not good. It's like a oh man, I do
so well.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Marine to try. Here we go, three feelings.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Bring it, bring the heat.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
All right, Well the dogger did do me so well.
Let me go with my short sword word swords.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Always going with the sword. You got a sword going
the sword man, the one that's the one.
Speaker 9 (16:58):
I don't even know if you know, none of us
have good aim.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
Six.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
Okay, when you got there, what you got there?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Bring the heat, bring the heat, bring it.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
I'm gonna shrink hand, so you shrink him to our size,
way bigger.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
It'll double our damage.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
But if you roll low, you shrink his prospect.
Speaker 13 (17:25):
Doctors couldn't do that on ear if they can't do that,
and you would like that.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah, if you roll low, she shrinks.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
She's got this.
Speaker 10 (17:33):
She's got Oh my god, I got.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
So you shrunk into the next.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Four ladies unrailed, We.
Speaker 8 (17:52):
Both go right four four. You know what I'm gonna try,
burning hands. I'm gonna use fire on.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Hand.
Speaker 10 (18:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I guess that means your rolling a da.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
The six six that's.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Make it happen. Yeah, that seems good. That seems good,
and what's happening? Why is he?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Wait, you must be wondering, why is it you're.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Bringing the burning hands on and nothing's happening burning. Oh
that's not good, bag.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Reveal he's from Health Loogie, from Hell's Giant. He's twenty
five feet tall.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
So fire doesn't hurt him. Zero fire.
Speaker 8 (18:34):
That would have been good to you.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
An agency for strike hads three no hit, No, hey.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Thank god?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Is he wearing his glasses?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
He's got terrible and I'm not, obviously.
Speaker 7 (18:44):
So we got a battle going on. We got a
good rally going on here. We've taken some damage off them.
We we're still a pretty good we're still all feeling healthy.
You feel good, feel good? All right, So we're going
a little break and we'll come back. We're going to
defeat Felix once and for all. You're listening to Fort
Fritz Hi, welcome back to Fort Fritz. I am your
(19:11):
co host man Daddy right or there. We got Fritz Hi,
we got Angela, we shot Marie.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
We got Nick's Prye.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
How are you boy?
Speaker 7 (19:22):
And we have the avatar of our hugest, most diabolical enemy, Felix.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Lady Sun.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
Over here, we're all going down, and we are in
a battle for.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Our live that's right, Not really that we're kicking.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Some We've been doing pretty good.
Speaker 7 (19:40):
Yes, we've been dealing some big dammage on you. Now
give it, give it what you got there, Felix, Bring it, buddy, the.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Full powers of how Felix turns around, it proceeds to
snort one of the biggest lines of cocaine man has
ever seen.
Speaker 10 (19:58):
Up.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
I'm so chilly.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
It's like one of those safety bumpers in a bowling
yelly for kids.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Did he just get beef here?
Speaker 13 (20:09):
Okay, I'll be honest, I thought I was like part
of his ashes own, Like that's weird and really morbid,
But that it's cocaine.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I feel a little bit better. But also, territory.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Comes a nothing.
Speaker 7 (20:19):
Hell, gel, what else you gonna do in hell?
Speaker 11 (20:25):
Hell?
Speaker 5 (20:26):
You might as well go off.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Point out of the other guys.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Look this next one and then oh that's a six.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
Oh no, I don't know if you noticed, but those
energy bars that I spelled above our heads, it seems
this round Felix is dealing double damage and has a
plus two modified for his kids.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Remember, cocaine can give you more energy and power.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Felix goes right up you.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
That's a hit. So that's an eight. It's a four.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
Okay's double because of the cocaine.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Eight points of damage. I'm a negative thirty more.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
Cocaine doubles things.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Drunk Uncle beat Felix beats the shot out of you
with fIF.
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Oh my god, there you go there, enjoy it.
Speaker 8 (21:18):
The game right to the all right, I'm now at
thirty one from thirty nine.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
All right, so go ahead and roll again.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Felix, who are you attacking?
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Who are you when she's attacking? She's attacking.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Big trouble.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
That's gonna be Fritz, Fritz, you took the wrong uncle.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
To piss off attack. It's successful.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Creevy water water more?
Speaker 7 (21:39):
Oh my god, how are you using gravy water for
nevarious purposes?
Speaker 5 (21:43):
This makes me so de sent to my.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Better don't deserve to breathe anymore. I'm down to nineteen
point nine. Yeah, decent. Damn.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
He's just wailing on Fritz. Is it just brutal?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Really awful to watch?
Speaker 7 (22:08):
This is like watching Duckie Roads the American Dream. Oh
my god, just wailing on him. This is brutal in
every way.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
You know.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
I never thought, but you should be a commentator for
some professional wrestling man.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
I did one time in a wrestler attacked me on stage.
Speaker 10 (22:24):
Wow, that's all.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Right, switz attack.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
That was a schmooty attack.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh my god, always.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
The pussy attack. You've been rare pussy attack.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I'm down to thirteen.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Oh my god, she's much you know better? That's six
bread and try.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Are you freaking out?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
He's gonna freak out. Be careful if you attack him.
There's a chance he might freak out.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
He is someone with the case of the fear for sure.
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Si Felix is just bringing that. He just slaughter everyone.
Cocaine gives you power of a drug. It's a six.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Whoa, my god, damage and I only had twenty one.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
He's half ways more than halfway.
Speaker 11 (23:11):
Tag.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
You've been attacked with sandpaper, ice picks, sandpaper.
Speaker 7 (23:19):
I liked going out every time it comes.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Wow, that's rock, Oh.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
My delicate little rock gnome skin. That's very aggressive. I
don't like that at all. I'm just gonna say.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
The damage and I don't know what's the rock.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Rookies are coming out of his but that's not cookies.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Yeah, that's really weird.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
He's down to a nine. I'm down to an eight.
Speaker 8 (23:50):
Guys, that's a fun, fun attack.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Wrap.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
How does this happened?
Speaker 10 (23:56):
Felix?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
You and I hate you? Feelix been? Let's I hate you?
Choose why? This is why I don't like him?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Eight? Jesus? Yeay. If she gets a six, that's a
critical ajack.
Speaker 7 (24:07):
That's a critical hit on somebody's critical hit.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Who are you going after? Pronounced Marie?
Speaker 5 (24:17):
Oh my god, critical hit on Marie?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
That's crap? Alright, So Marie, what was your HP? Alright?
It's zero?
Speaker 5 (24:32):
Critical hit? All right?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I thought feelings liked you. That's the whole thing was
not important.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I never liked her.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Marie is grievously injured, bravely carry on without.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Felix goes again, there are now four of us. That
is a five?
Speaker 13 (24:45):
Damn it?
Speaker 5 (24:45):
Yes, ridiculous winning.
Speaker 14 (24:48):
Okay, very good cocaine, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (24:54):
Colombian Colombian fish scales going on right here?
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Who are you going after?
Speaker 13 (24:58):
Know? Chris?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Okay, it's a negative fourteen? All right?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Oh, I'm super dead, So horrors persisted. Fritz is dead.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
The remaining players are Angela Man, Daddy, Nikki Spro.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
There we go.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
That's a six.
Speaker 11 (25:25):
Okay, I know it really wins. I thought it was
before and now I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
No, man, Daddy, because you're incredulous.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
I give you all the knowledge of the universe.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Man Daddy is now at sixteen.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Wow, okay, don't hey direct your hatred to me. You
that's whole the final four four all right, So that's
a hit on someone six and.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Next bride.
Speaker 5 (26:00):
So he had a comment coming. Man, I'm sorry, dude,
I'm sorry, man, no head, but I'm so adorable.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
It's a ten hit, all right.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
So I'm in the negative one area. I guess that
means it's.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Is dead.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Well, it was printed on my throat at the beginning.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
True, I don't know how to read.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
It's not elvish. By the way, I'll take.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Care of you in the afterlife.
Speaker 12 (26:23):
That.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Oh man. Let's have a moment of silence for that's it.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Okay, So let's go on, spry Fry.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
Let's me and Angela against you. Pitch four.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
That's a hip damn hot dice, Wow, hot hard does happened?
Speaker 11 (26:40):
Is that?
Speaker 10 (26:40):
On?
Speaker 13 (26:40):
Man?
Speaker 5 (26:40):
Daddy?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Let's say, daddy, You're.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
It, dude, everything you stand for So Felix is.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Waiting for Angela.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
A seven seven.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
That's called a fall from place.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Bite the back of my ass, the back of my ass.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
That's a critical, that's a that's a critical. Hit.
Speaker 8 (27:07):
Man Daddy has two points. Yeah, nicks Bright has negative one.
I've got zero and Marie has zero.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Man Daddy, more like Man Daddy.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
I'm laying on the ground, but I will cut your
achilles tendon.
Speaker 8 (27:22):
That means it's now Angela with thirty hp against and
she's regular size now against Felix's thirty eight hp.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
You got this, Angela, You got this girl, got that
Felix versus Angela.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Not a chance in.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Hell that cocaine power cocaine.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Felix is rolling a D eight.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
Now, So one, Angela, you have to heat, you have
we have faith in you, Angela for the.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
D eight and it's an eight. How could this happen?
Speaker 14 (28:14):
That's the echoes of a million suffering cries fill the
air and deafen. All those are year, one by one,
every soul from every Angela slams down upon the shattered
visage of Felix. Until broken and defeated, Angela prime herself
(28:37):
thrust a saber into the hole where a once beating, thriving.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Heart had lived.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
The ethereal shell that housed a man with great potential
while living is extinguished once and for all, and a
heavy shadow of dread retreats from the light. The curse
strangle hold of Felix is no more. It is the
dawn of a new era. At Fort France.
Speaker 5 (29:09):
Were okay, okay, we're done with him, came to destroyed.
Thank you, my god?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Could you have done that like from the first round?
Speaker 3 (29:21):
And yeah, a lot of angela, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
We are exhausted and you're welcome.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Oh my god, exhausting round of D and D. I've
ever played with people that have never played D and D.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Awesome, you'll be still alive.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
No no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no
no kill him still but no, that's even worse.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
No more.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
We're gonna get together around together.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Why what are you to do?
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Taking everybody?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
My word is bond here explain I should trust you
with that?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 13 (29:53):
You have no reason to trust me. But here is
a chest to honor and trust it. It contains my
most priced possess friends. Please receive it now.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Please.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
It's just an N sixty four and a copy of
Hotel California.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
I created my personality around that album so.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
Much so fih, there's no wait wait, wait, wait wait,
there's a false bottom.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
There's a false bottom that. Oh look at that, Look
at that.
Speaker 13 (30:20):
That's my collection of soft corn pourn which unfortunately was
the hardest they made back in the nineteen fifties.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
It was a different time.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
The war is even better.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
You don't even know where that. My job's done here.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Wow, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, ladysmer lady son, thank you, lady Son. I appreciate
it away now. I don't know if you guys knew
I could fly.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Oh my god, look at her. Go don't understand how
she's flying away.
Speaker 10 (30:47):
And a.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Man daddy sized hole in the ceiling.
Speaker 5 (30:52):
Oh, that's right. She had to do the whole clothes
that I did when she went through. That was cool.
It was like a reverse wily coyote. That was dope.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
By the way, we got to get that black mold
checked out. That's crazy bad, actually.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Real quick, the whole to the whole.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Oh so much, all right, guys, thank you, Sabrina bye.
She really is a plan. That's crazy. That's forever underneath
my collection of soft core porn.
Speaker 8 (31:23):
Sears catalogs, okay, the original software, go through them, okay.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
Girdles, girdles, girdles.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Is there a page together?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
That's the one with the Christmas toys.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Christmas toy.
Speaker 13 (31:38):
That's my last prank on you, guys. If you keep digging,
you'll find the deed tricks that added your name.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Finally, really it's mine.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
Really?
Speaker 6 (31:46):
Oh wait, guys, there's two photographs here under all this
Sears roebucks, you know, nostalgia.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Like actual film photographs.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
Yeah, like wow, for real ones. Look, there's two.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
One I didn't know that was in there.
Speaker 5 (32:00):
Guys.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
This is like helix as like a little a little
boy look almost adorable?
Speaker 3 (32:09):
What's before?
Speaker 5 (32:10):
You wanted to still had the mustache? Wait?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Hold on, show it to me.
Speaker 13 (32:14):
I probably got that from Getty Images, to be honest
with you, because you know I didn't have any baby
or early photos of me.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Oh okay, and I wanted something to remember my youth.
Buy in some way. What's underneath?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
It's with us?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
What from Wind?
Speaker 7 (32:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
It's it's very candid. I don't know where. There's cameras
in the fort.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Describe it to me. Give me one final joy.
Speaker 5 (32:33):
This is all of us.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
The very first time we entered Fort Fritz, there was
not We didn't even pose for this, but you can
see us here.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
You go. Take that, Take that I messed up.
Speaker 13 (32:44):
I kept those two pictures to remind me there is
innocence in us all we often ignore it, Oh demon,
a weakness. Just as you've held me in your heart
and your mind's eye, wherever it may be, I've done
the same with you.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Thank you for thinking of that, of talking to me.
Speaker 13 (33:01):
Each word, each curse only build my spirit greater than
anything on earth ever. Has you never forgot about me,
and you could have easily. I guess what I'm trying
to say is thank you for giving me the strength
to attempt murder one last time.
Speaker 5 (33:18):
Will give that.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Power from You're welcome.
Speaker 13 (33:24):
Well, last thing to say to yourts what my first
stipulation is now complete? Stayed at night and slept at
the silly old fort. It was in the basement, but
still it was inside the fort. That's right, you recorded
by the original Angela.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
And I'll be honest, I did not remember you were
down there?
Speaker 7 (33:50):
Did it?
Speaker 5 (33:51):
Just did it?
Speaker 10 (33:52):
You?
Speaker 7 (33:52):
Guys?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You don't have those like fantasies.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
It happened one of those.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
What death fantasies, this fantasy life I just did stiff
Where that will come from again?
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Swatch, you're not looking too good, but it's done with ibe.
You shouldn't be doing that snort.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Just get me over ripped.
Speaker 13 (34:16):
I don't know if you guys heard I was stabbing
the part by a saber. Yeah, finally that you did
find my crypt and completed all of my wants. My
cremains are in your hands. You now can do whatever
you wish with them. But I will say this years
from now, when the public realizes I was that psychopathic
(34:37):
killer who killed for fun and deleted entire genealogies from
the earth, and I was still am and will forever
be that asshole Johnny and Joni Sixpack will hear about
from an oversaturated podcast market.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
One question still lingers, Can I ask it?
Speaker 12 (34:52):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (34:54):
How will you all remember.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Me as that killer asshole that kill for fun.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Somebody who betrayed my trust?
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Your piece, I'm gonna say, you're my uncle.
Speaker 13 (35:11):
Thank you for your truths. I never had family. I've
always wanted one. I guess that's pretty stupid now in
hindsight to want something you've.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Never had or never known.
Speaker 13 (35:21):
I always wanted someone I could rely on, someone to
tell me right from wrong at an early age, someone
to tell me it's gonna be okay no matter what happens.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Your words are affirmation enough. Though, I fixed up, and
I'm sorry.
Speaker 13 (35:37):
I realize now the family I've always wanted has been
there for me, and now unfortunately I can't have it.
But thank you from the bottom of my heart for
being the family I've always needed in the family I got.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
Well, now I feel bad, but that that sounds like
family to me.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
I'm that's honestly everything giving.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
Yeah, pretty much? Okay there, I guess. Are we done
with Felix and we have the fork?
Speaker 3 (36:19):
It's like a bare weight for him for a little bit.
Speaker 5 (36:21):
Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 7 (36:26):
Look, I don't know what we're gonna do with these remains.
I would like to keep them and have them in
a bag that I carry around with me all day
and I look at them and go.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
Every day looking so angry.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
Maybe we should put him in and bay, oh just
they just feed him to a kit. It's a peaceful place,
and maybe that's where.
Speaker 5 (36:47):
A place with k is peaceful.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
Look, he was a dick, but he wasn't that big
of a dick.
Speaker 5 (36:52):
Yes, he was, try to kill you.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
I think we should bring them in the amusement park.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Oh he did love that a music park, which is
why I v to that. I don't want him to
be happy.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
Yeah, he was your uncle, Fritz.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
What do you want to do with him?
Speaker 8 (37:06):
I want to flush him down the toilet. Wow, I
mean he's right here, he's done.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Now what listen, you were his only family that's left.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
You a Jewish mother would but look treated him.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
There was a moment of kindness in the end, maybe,
but how how many years of.
Speaker 5 (37:26):
Okay, she definitely knew does the legacy of terror?
Speaker 6 (37:29):
Think about all the great things he did, like like
annexing all that land and taking it away from banking
or or taking advantage of all those farmers and stealing
food from them.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Destroying all Right, he was he was a monster. He
cloned a bunch of me and and was a complete
madman and a tyrant.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
And he did so many shady, shystery things.
Speaker 8 (37:53):
Guys, there's only one way to solve this. Let's take
a break, okay, all right, and then we'll come back
We'll figure it out, all right. Listening to Fort Fritz,
what do we do for my profile?
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Shoot?
Speaker 3 (38:06):
How many?
Speaker 11 (38:21):
Hey?
Speaker 15 (38:21):
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of experience and dozens of wholesale loan options give you
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(38:42):
better deal. Don't miss the vote. Compare your quote today
at that mortgage guy Don dot com.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Dot com.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Welcome back to the Fort Fritz.
Speaker 8 (38:56):
I'm your host Fritz, joined as always my co host Mandaddy, Hi, Marie, Hello,
Angela prin Yeah, and Nick Spry.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Well, you gotta have a cold beer after that one.
Speaker 5 (39:08):
After everything takes two.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Just takes not every day you kill a ghost.
Speaker 5 (39:14):
We do that.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
I still don't know.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
I mean just the guy had the dice on his side.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Have you ever seen a ghost vacuum cocaine?
Speaker 11 (39:24):
Like?
Speaker 2 (39:24):
No immates that do that? Huge upstate. Angela for stepping
up on that one.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Can we give a little round the glow we literally
going to go Angela.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
It was worth it coming out of that bunker for
that for sure.
Speaker 6 (39:42):
I mean, Frank, we are all rather pathetic people, so
without you we would have been.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
How did it feel to stab them right in the
heart like that?
Speaker 5 (39:54):
Really good?
Speaker 2 (39:54):
It looks like you really wanted to also do that.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
Oh my god, stop the curb stump is.
Speaker 5 (39:59):
Fucking a little twisty twisty.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
No good.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I felt really proud to do that. I felt like
I was the right person to do that.
Speaker 10 (40:06):
No, for sure, Yeah, anyone has been I would have
voted for you. I would have been Yeah, yeah, you
definitely have had a rough go of it. Yeah, apparently
he dug you out of a graveyard. I don't have
to show the tapes to wait.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
Wait forget, why would one tape digging up a bad bodies.
Speaker 12 (40:26):
For patrons of the Sinkhole. First, an update on the
massacre at the Villages the Nerds. You'll want to keep
the small ones out of the room for this. This
story is absolutely.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
This one.
Speaker 12 (40:40):
Over two hundred residents of a retirement community were brutally
murdered in a seemingly premeditated early night time raid. Multiple
suspects a large array of weapons only unarmed elderly citizens,
and the FBI announced it's now earned a top on
the most wanted list. Authorities now say local area shop
(41:03):
owners have corroborated alibis for their previously unnamed suspects, following.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
They don't have any suspects.
Speaker 12 (41:10):
Anymore cleared any new information, but as it appears now
police are back to square one. That's unfortunate.
Speaker 7 (41:21):
Now over to there's no suspects in all those people
we killed in the villages.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
That's right, there were zombies, we doubled kilty, didn't do
any of.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
The cubs head suspects. And then the mayor and business
owners quote.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Yeah, really to sound like a gift basket.
Speaker 8 (41:46):
I'm going to say right now, if any of you
guys say anything about any of this to anybody, I will.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Kill you.
Speaker 5 (41:58):
Right now. We are in a blood cult right now.
Speaker 9 (42:00):
We all have just as much to lose as you do. Good,
but we do, oh, both Hans and deb a big thing.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Yeah, some chocolates.
Speaker 8 (42:07):
I don't know, one of those those fruit flower things, yeah,
any of the flowers, any of the.
Speaker 5 (42:12):
Fruits, but we should probably any of the fruits.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
You should probably parlays, right, I mean, I mean.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
It's one of those things that you keep the heat
off everybody.
Speaker 10 (42:22):
You know.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
And also I don't want to be here anymore, man
like right now, Like this is just too much. You know,
I just killed my We always supposed to go.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
I mean, the Ford has been our our magnet for
so long. It's no matter what I end up here.
So what am I supposed to.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Do after that battle?
Speaker 5 (42:39):
I'm kind of hungry. How about you.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Want to get some chicken?
Speaker 5 (42:43):
I could do it.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Get some chicken.
Speaker 5 (42:46):
Does anyone have Deb's number?
Speaker 10 (42:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (42:48):
I do.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I think we just called the chicken.
Speaker 5 (42:50):
I want to walk in and just have a chicken
display going on.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I mean I think you order the chicken.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Yeah, you order it first and you show up and
then it's there, the chicken and pre ordered fries.
Speaker 5 (43:01):
Yeah, I learned about Oh that's right, Oh mister potato dude.
Speaker 6 (43:06):
Guys, all I'm gonna say is, look, the world is
our oyster. It is nineteen seventy one Nixon. It's just
opened up relations with China.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Not understand how time work.
Speaker 8 (43:16):
Let's let's get out of here. I'm going to fall
behind you, guys. I'm just going to make sure I
get my satchel and you know, tie my shoes.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Well, so who's driving?
Speaker 5 (43:26):
Probably not all the gray water, natty line. I should
not be driving.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
You guys can all happen in the back of the
truck and we can get out of here.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, some of these packages and see what else I can.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
Well do a little soggy beginning, Yeah, a little salty.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
I'm sure there's a pot.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
POORI one in there.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Just open it up.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Let's do one last toast. Okay, yeah, right here we go.
Speaker 5 (43:51):
Drinking, drinking, all right, Now, get out of my house.
It's finally your house. Finally your house after all these years,
and he's got finally.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
I have to talk to you the new percentages. You
get two percent, nicked, braye, you get fifteen. Everybody, just
shut up and then I'll work out the rest later.
Speaker 4 (44:11):
This truck be moving all right, soon be chewing.
Speaker 5 (44:14):
Let's go on some chicken.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yes, by the way, that any commercial is. This truck
be moving and so you be chewing awesome chicken. All right,
So guys, thank you so much. You know I want
to get out of the fort too, but just give
me a little bit lock up.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Yeah, I'll be ready by.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Finding himself finally alone at his fork for the first time,
Fritz slides an overfilled cardboard box to the center of.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
The living room place beautiful rights.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
He brings out cleaning supplies, spray bottles, and claws, proceeds
to wipe away decades of ingrained cup webs, grime, and dirt.
A thick dab of pearly white polish is gently applied
until a rich luster of yellow sparkles and dances across
the cozy space, and after careful consideration, he places the
(45:09):
now spotless and proud, solid gold urn, complete with the
earthly remains of his late uncle Felix, square and center
on the fireplace mantle. Fritz takes a step back to
view the newest addition to the fort, and after a
brief pause, he says a thoughtful implication to his late uncle.
He speaks only to himself, addressed to the Earth, keeping
(45:32):
the words private and close to his heart, and hopes
Felix has found a peace.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
He was denied on Earth.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Felix, I know you can, hear me.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
With a sigh of relief, he takes a seat on
the large leather couch and kicks up his feet on
the coffee table. The adventure is finally over. Now's the
time for reflection and peace.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Don't attack me, Schmutzer
The distinct cracking of farm fresh eggs on the side
of a cast iron skillet gently awakens the crew of
Nick Spry, Marie, Angela Prime and Ruts. As Mandaddy Hi
is preparing the largest of breakfasts. The underground chamber, once
long forgotten to all but the original Angela Prime, is
(00:21):
filled with the savory aromas of sizzling fat back bacon,
sunnyside up eggs, scrambled eggs, eggs over medium, two eggs, benedict,
some overeasies, and a shet ton of toes. The five
strong combatants delight with song and story of their journeys, both.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Past in future. As bold black coffee is served with sweetened.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Cream, rosemary, buttered and brightly flavored currants served with the
finest brambled BlackBerry jam ends the deliciously hearty meal. The
bountiful feast is pregnant with the joyous and ever vescent
laughter that is only share between fast friends and moments
of relief after endeavoring worrisome bouts of estrangement, despair and
(01:07):
self town, and is ended with a round of applause
for Chef Mandaddy in an admittedly rare move, but he
crushed and snorted an ambient trademark the night before he
procured from Nick's Bryane and slept an entire ten hours
straight through, so why not. The troops are headed out
of the fort's basement to start their perilous nine minutes
(01:29):
sojourned to the attic, where Angeli Prime insists is the
last stop. The four brave warriors and also nicksbry approached
the final steps leading to the dusty attic entrance and
pushed forth and abnormally size wooden door. Astonishingly, they enter
a vast arena like room sixty.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Feet by sixty feet, with.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
The high vaulted ceiling climbing another sixty feet in the air.
As their eyes adjust to the dark and surroundings, the
ceiling comes into view, a cartoonish outline of a tall,
wildly flailing man has broken in, seemingly falling from the
roof straight down to the scattered coins of a large treasure.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
This is the only sunlight that enters here.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Upon the collection of the sordid riches and spoils from
across the world over lies a desecrated and partially open
solid gold urn, its sad ashen.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Contents like sand from the cracked hour glass.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Have softly spilled upon the wooden planks the flooring for
the past several years. Centered in the middle of the room,
in the attic of Fort Fritz, a person is seated
squarely on a wooden chair with surprisingly great lumbar support.
The gang rubbed their eyes to see the individual light
a cigarette in the darkness and responds with.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
It's me, Sabrina.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
What are you doing in the attic?
Speaker 4 (02:55):
How you doing?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Who is this?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
My name is formerly Sabrina. Here on forward, it's Lady SunRail.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Lady sun Rail like that?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Wow, Yeah, there dot come from. Wait, how did you
know how to do that?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It happens everywhere I go when I say that. Yeah,
this is a dungeon. Added, did you guys get check
your yeah, right under one.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Of your boots, this one, says Fritz.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yours says Angela. Yeah, Angela the Orcerer. I'm a half
orc sorcerer.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
I always assumed that, but now I'm glad I know it.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
This is bad, says here. I'm a rogue elf. That's right, Maria,
you are a rogue elf.
Speaker 6 (03:42):
I'm and I'm a rock gnome. I'm a druid and
a criminal.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I'm a criminal too.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
It does have a question mark. What is crime? You'll
find out in a little bit.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
Says here that I am mantor the incredulous, but I'll
believe I also.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Don't know the definition of incredulous.
Speaker 7 (04:01):
But I don't believe you don't know that I am.
I'm dragonborn and I'm a ranger.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Cool. I get to I get to I get to range.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Thank you for you've been at heart deep down and
you Fritzy.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Let's see.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
I am a level two warlock, a level one paladin,
and a level one wizard, and I'm a sage half elf.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Wait, guy, going multi class over here?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
How is in your head with all those personalities fighting?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Typical Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
There's no judgment here until the ultimate judgment happens.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Wow, ultimate judgments. I like smaller.
Speaker 9 (04:38):
Judgments here before you are a lot. I don't know
that we could do ultimate judgment right now.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
You have no choice because there's no door in the
attic anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, man, how did you do that? Lady Sun? It's
been a while since we played a game of D
and D.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
You guys like yeah.
Speaker 7 (04:58):
Like like the last time I was like addicts was
our was our dungeon Mounsey?
Speaker 5 (05:03):
What happened to him?
Speaker 8 (05:04):
Sadly he's no longer with us, really, what happened to him?
He's in DC for the next time.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I kind of remember.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Doing this, right, Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
That's actually very important because I have no idea what
I'm doing. Great, however, I am the dungeon master. I
dare you to go first.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
So everything we have done over the last week or
so has pointed us to a D and D game
in the attic, welcome, you are new here.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
You're totally new here. This is exactly what always happened.
Speaker 7 (05:36):
It always leads to a D and D game, or
a musical, or like a Choose YOURWN adventure.
Speaker 9 (05:40):
I mean, we almost just got killed twelve hours ago,
but okay, a normal as well.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
So there's a crazy looking man in terror.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Falling the fell through here. I remember the treasure.
Speaker 7 (05:49):
I don't remember her, I don't remember feeling so I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That was Do we post me real quick? That's exactly wearing.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
The same thing.
Speaker 9 (05:57):
We also haven't really talked about the fact that they
are else a treasure here.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
We went straight to the game's been sitting here. This
whole time, and you guys haven't done anything with it.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm filling my pockets.
Speaker 8 (06:11):
Can I roll for initiative? To check under the floor
and to make sure there's no traps.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Be careful.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
Four look around, Be careful, Be careful, and to see
if you can find a trap or not.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's a one, all right, So that is actually not
a trap door. It does look like one, but instead
your shoes are wet.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
I want to check the walls because I don't believe
that you could make a door just disappear, So I
want to check.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Or anything.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Wall four three three that's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I mean it's decent. This actually isn't a wall. It's
a giant alley d.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Screen behind that picture frame over there.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Colors always are the eyes following you when you're okay,
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Going to tears like kind.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Of Moldy and angel. Four They got three yea.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Well, uh, surprise, surprise.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
That is actually uncovering a tiny little safe.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Safe in the room.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
There is a safe in the room.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Well, we got to get in that safe, right, you want.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
The painting just came off and you have to keep
it now, all right.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I was gonna say I liked it so good. Angel
has a painting with the fu want to worth a
lot one day.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I'm telling you, Marie, you look like you gotta be
in your bonnet.
Speaker 9 (07:41):
So I would like to check out the very obvious
shrine in the middle of the room.
Speaker 10 (07:47):
Talk about clear on the top of it. Just bring
let's let's see it then, Oh.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
Boy, God to go on over ahead your hand.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Out from the earth.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
A noxious and thick smoke spews forth. Its rancor is undeniable,
and the stench of the fires from health now and
too in every direction. From this death, the languid soul
of misery itself elongates upwards and stretches.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Forward with new found purpose.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Now towering over twenty five feet in the air, the long,
smoldering phoenix like creamines of the evil Felix Fritz strikes
terror in the hearts of the five future corpses. Staring back,
Felix Fritz has risen to kill again.
Speaker 11 (08:43):
You are all gonna be my pitches, a great, huge,
elongated Felix.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
This is really what I did not want.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Today, way bigger than.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
Better than you off over there, dud.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
Sorry, guys, we have to him up right about big
time man.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
All right, so we all agree, right.
Speaker 7 (09:09):
Yeah, all right, Well it looks like I got the
initiative on this one. So I'm gonna I'm gonna grab
my hand axe old and I'm gonna just go just
run straight at him, right at the juggler. Let's see
if I get an initiative to get this asshole.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, rolling G six, that's not good.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Felix is rolling now, that's a three.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Damn it. I'm not only in deep ship. I've been
covered now.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Shit here, I am rolling, d h. That looks like
a one.
Speaker 7 (09:42):
Yeah, your big cold touch didn't touch my cold. Who's
gonna go next?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Let me do it? Let me do it, do Come on.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Nick, I'm freaking out.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
I'm gonna try and do some thunderwave.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Man, Daddy made me a full English breakfast earlier, and
I had a bunch of beans.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Delicious, talking about a part. So I'm rolling the six
to see who's batting.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
Let's get your issue.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Damn it. It's a one. Oh no, a three.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Blast that you.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Oh god got a five?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah, that's a hit.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
Six six for damage, six for damage.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
It's just awful.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
It's a glancing blow, but it's a good blow.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I got a little bit of that underway. It's a
little bit nice.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
You can see a little nick on the top of
his ear.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
All right, well, so little one miss to fight Felix.
But this is really imposing at the moment. Now it's on.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
All right too for initiative.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Felix is now rolling for initiative, and that's a three.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
Way you get your attack time.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
All right, so's pick your thing, man and I just
try to be friendship is.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Reject You're gonna wish you didn't do that. We're about
to get dragon breathed.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Oh my god, or not?
Speaker 12 (11:07):
The three?
Speaker 7 (11:08):
The three survived the dragon bread.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
It's good. It doesn't smell good.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
He's still aim all.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Right, Angela, sorry for you to kick some ass.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
So come on, Felix rolling That is a five.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
You both get simultaneous attack, all right, So let's have
Angelau go first.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I would like to do can spear attack? Is that
a question?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Spirit chest say it with convictory?
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Correct, Spirit, that's the Angela, we know, and.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh I got five. I got five.
Speaker 7 (11:56):
Your your attack is valid, So roll for damage to
just what of attack are you going for?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
What kind of attack? With the worst kind of attack?
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Oh god?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You scared because I'm giving you fear. You're giving me fear.
You figure scared.
Speaker 7 (12:13):
Now here's some fear that means that you're gonna be
You're not gonna be able to participate in the next
two rounds you get.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
You get afraid. You can't attack anymore because I'm afraid.
She has to roll a D give me anxiety.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I already have that.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
Everyone has it.
Speaker 7 (12:32):
It's no fear for you, no fear, the fear.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I wasn't even afraid.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
Angela laughs at the fear. She looks at the face.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
For Felix. Right, yeah, sure, you turn you so many
things I want to say to you, uncle, you pieces.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
What do you how about that?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Felix rules A one.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
Oh yeah, you enjoying it.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I Am going to get you up with a sickle attack.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
I mean, you get six, that's a critical hit. If
you get if you get a natural six after that,
that's a bit. We're going to talk off a lot.
You're doing a six for that damage.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Oh god, look.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
I mean we're trying to hack away at this entity,
this thing and uh now yeah, and we got there
their surrogate and now it's I guess it's their turn.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
They get to try to attack. Who are you attacking?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I think it's gonna be you.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Okay, Felix, rolls are.
Speaker 7 (13:55):
One critical hit if I get that?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (14:01):
I'm really enjoying. I'm enjoying the acts. It feels good
in my hand. I'm a ranger. I don't care about
the spell.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Captain, you're a ranger because you can't be a cup.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
I'm going to for the juggler, going right for the jeller.
I'm jumping the air, hold the axe in both hands.
Let's make this happen. Close critical so close to seven
D six now for damage six wow?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All right, So Felix is now rolling D six.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I'm going to be attacking Maria.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Marie, all right, ring it all right? Rolling a six
and it's a three? Thanks right, hey, yeah all Maria,
I guess well and it's a four Marie counter right.
Speaker 9 (14:50):
So we're just gonna go pretty direct, and I am
just gonna go for my dagger.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
Throw god A classic, A classic.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, you can't beat that, right, all right, it's a four.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You got it? Then you got it? Now roll for damage.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
That's a one.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Wow, okay, so turn hit my son? Thank you? What's
that hit? Point down at it.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
There should be like bars like in a video game above.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Our little health.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Felix went from fifty two to thirty eight.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Oh yeah, you know what, I'm gonna make a little
spelling zapped out above her.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
It's very helpful, Thank you?
Speaker 5 (15:22):
All right?
Speaker 7 (15:23):
All right, Phillips, I'm coming for you. I got a
spear and I'm looking at that rib cage. I got
a spear and I'm looking at that rib cage.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Got my hand religious in the back of the spear.
I'm old.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
I'm just gonna push it right in three. I got
it three so possible.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
It very well could be Felix G five. So pick
what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I'm gonna attack you with I'm using that chromatic.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Oh that has a plus four attack you're screwing?
Speaker 3 (15:52):
All right?
Speaker 10 (15:52):
What the or?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I guess? Oh yeah, so what's going on?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Lady? Son?
Speaker 5 (15:59):
Right? No hit nice?
Speaker 6 (16:02):
Try try let's rule for initiative.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
I'm trying to hit answers mixed by rolling a D six.
That's the five, good damn it, and that's a two.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
From bring it ud bring the heat?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
What you got wrong with my hand?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I think it's going to last your eyes too I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Go with oh my god, go with the classics.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
That's not good. It's like a oh man, I do
so well.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Marine to try. Here we go, three feelings.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Bring it, bring the heat.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
All right, Well the dogger did do me so well.
Let me go with my short sword word swords.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Always going with the sword. You got a sword going
the sword man, the one that's the one.
Speaker 9 (16:58):
I don't even know if you know, none of us
have good aim.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
Six.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
Okay, when you got there, what you got there?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Bring the heat, bring the heat, bring it.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
I'm gonna shrink hand, so you shrink him to our size,
way bigger.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
It'll double our damage.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
But if you roll low, you shrink his prospect.
Speaker 13 (17:25):
Doctors couldn't do that on ear if they can't do that,
and you would like that.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah, if you roll low, she shrinks.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
She's got this.
Speaker 10 (17:33):
She's got Oh my god, I got.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
So you shrunk into the next.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Four ladies unrailed, We.
Speaker 8 (17:52):
Both go right four four. You know what I'm gonna try,
burning hands. I'm gonna use fire on.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Hand.
Speaker 10 (18:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I guess that means your rolling a da.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
The six six that's.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Make it happen. Yeah, that seems good. That seems good,
and what's happening? Why is he?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Wait, you must be wondering, why is it you're.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Bringing the burning hands on and nothing's happening burning. Oh
that's not good, bag.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Reveal he's from Health Loogie, from Hell's Giant. He's twenty
five feet tall.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
So fire doesn't hurt him. Zero fire.
Speaker 8 (18:34):
That would have been good to you.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
An agency for strike hads three no hit, No, hey.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Thank god?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Is he wearing his glasses?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
He's got terrible and I'm not, obviously.
Speaker 7 (18:44):
So we got a battle going on. We got a
good rally going on here. We've taken some damage off them.
We we're still a pretty good we're still all feeling healthy.
You feel good, feel good? All right, So we're going
a little break and we'll come back. We're going to
defeat Felix once and for all. You're listening to Fort
Fritz Hi, welcome back to Fort Fritz. I am your
(19:11):
co host man Daddy right or there. We got Fritz Hi,
we got Angela, we shot Marie.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
We got Nick's Prye.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
How are you boy?
Speaker 7 (19:22):
And we have the avatar of our hugest, most diabolical enemy, Felix.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Lady Sun.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
Over here, we're all going down, and we are in
a battle for.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Our live that's right, Not really that we're kicking.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Some We've been doing pretty good.
Speaker 7 (19:40):
Yes, we've been dealing some big dammage on you. Now
give it, give it what you got there, Felix, Bring it, buddy, the.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Full powers of how Felix turns around, it proceeds to
snort one of the biggest lines of cocaine man has
ever seen.
Speaker 10 (19:58):
Up.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
I'm so chilly.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
It's like one of those safety bumpers in a bowling
yelly for kids.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Did he just get beef here?
Speaker 13 (20:09):
Okay, I'll be honest, I thought I was like part
of his ashes own, Like that's weird and really morbid,
But that it's cocaine.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I feel a little bit better. But also, territory.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Comes a nothing.
Speaker 7 (20:19):
Hell, gel, what else you gonna do in hell?
Speaker 11 (20:25):
Hell?
Speaker 5 (20:26):
You might as well go off.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Point out of the other guys.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Look this next one and then oh that's a six.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
Oh no, I don't know if you noticed, but those
energy bars that I spelled above our heads, it seems
this round Felix is dealing double damage and has a
plus two modified for his kids.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Remember, cocaine can give you more energy and power.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Felix goes right up you.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
That's a hit. So that's an eight. It's a four.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
Okay's double because of the cocaine.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Eight points of damage. I'm a negative thirty more.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
Cocaine doubles things.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Drunk Uncle beat Felix beats the shot out of you
with fIF.
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Oh my god, there you go there, enjoy it.
Speaker 8 (21:18):
The game right to the all right, I'm now at
thirty one from thirty nine.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
All right, so go ahead and roll again.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Felix, who are you attacking?
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Who are you when she's attacking? She's attacking.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Big trouble.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
That's gonna be Fritz, Fritz, you took the wrong uncle.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
To piss off attack. It's successful.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Creevy water water more?
Speaker 7 (21:39):
Oh my god, how are you using gravy water for
nevarious purposes?
Speaker 5 (21:43):
This makes me so de sent to my.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Better don't deserve to breathe anymore. I'm down to nineteen
point nine. Yeah, decent. Damn.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
He's just wailing on Fritz. Is it just brutal?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Really awful to watch?
Speaker 7 (22:08):
This is like watching Duckie Roads the American Dream. Oh
my god, just wailing on him. This is brutal in
every way.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
You know.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
I never thought, but you should be a commentator for
some professional wrestling man.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
I did one time in a wrestler attacked me on stage.
Speaker 10 (22:24):
Wow, that's all.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Right, switz attack.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
That was a schmooty attack.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh my god, always.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
The pussy attack. You've been rare pussy attack.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I'm down to thirteen.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Oh my god, she's much you know better? That's six
bread and try.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Are you freaking out?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
He's gonna freak out. Be careful if you attack him.
There's a chance he might freak out.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
He is someone with the case of the fear for sure.
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Si Felix is just bringing that. He just slaughter everyone.
Cocaine gives you power of a drug. It's a six.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Whoa, my god, damage and I only had twenty one.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
He's half ways more than halfway.
Speaker 11 (23:11):
Tag.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
You've been attacked with sandpaper, ice picks, sandpaper.
Speaker 7 (23:19):
I liked going out every time it comes.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Wow, that's rock, Oh.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
My delicate little rock gnome skin. That's very aggressive. I
don't like that at all. I'm just gonna say.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
The damage and I don't know what's the rock.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Rookies are coming out of his but that's not cookies.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Yeah, that's really weird.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
He's down to a nine. I'm down to an eight.
Speaker 8 (23:50):
Guys, that's a fun, fun attack.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Wrap.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
How does this happened?
Speaker 10 (23:56):
Felix?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
You and I hate you? Feelix been? Let's I hate you?
Choose why? This is why I don't like him?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Eight? Jesus? Yeay. If she gets a six, that's a
critical ajack.
Speaker 7 (24:07):
That's a critical hit on somebody's critical hit.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Who are you going after? Pronounced Marie?
Speaker 5 (24:17):
Oh my god, critical hit on Marie?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
That's crap? Alright, So Marie, what was your HP? Alright?
It's zero?
Speaker 5 (24:32):
Critical hit? All right?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I thought feelings liked you. That's the whole thing was
not important.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I never liked her.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Marie is grievously injured, bravely carry on without.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Felix goes again, there are now four of us. That
is a five?
Speaker 13 (24:45):
Damn it?
Speaker 5 (24:45):
Yes, ridiculous winning.
Speaker 14 (24:48):
Okay, very good cocaine, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (24:54):
Colombian Colombian fish scales going on right here?
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Who are you going after?
Speaker 13 (24:58):
Know? Chris?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Okay, it's a negative fourteen? All right?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Oh, I'm super dead, So horrors persisted. Fritz is dead.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
The remaining players are Angela Man, Daddy, Nikki Spro.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
There we go.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
That's a six.
Speaker 11 (25:25):
Okay, I know it really wins. I thought it was
before and now I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
No, man, Daddy, because you're incredulous.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
I give you all the knowledge of the universe.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Man Daddy is now at sixteen.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Wow, okay, don't hey direct your hatred to me. You
that's whole the final four four all right, So that's
a hit on someone six and.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Next bride.
Speaker 5 (26:00):
So he had a comment coming. Man, I'm sorry, dude,
I'm sorry, man, no head, but I'm so adorable.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
It's a ten hit, all right.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
So I'm in the negative one area. I guess that
means it's.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Is dead.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Well, it was printed on my throat at the beginning.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
True, I don't know how to read.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
It's not elvish. By the way, I'll take.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Care of you in the afterlife.
Speaker 12 (26:23):
That.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Oh man. Let's have a moment of silence for that's it.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Okay, So let's go on, spry Fry.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
Let's me and Angela against you. Pitch four.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
That's a hip damn hot dice, Wow, hot hard does happened?
Speaker 11 (26:40):
Is that?
Speaker 10 (26:40):
On?
Speaker 13 (26:40):
Man?
Speaker 5 (26:40):
Daddy?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Let's say, daddy, You're.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
It, dude, everything you stand for So Felix is.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Waiting for Angela.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
A seven seven.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
That's called a fall from place.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Bite the back of my ass, the back of my ass.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
That's a critical, that's a that's a critical. Hit.
Speaker 8 (27:07):
Man Daddy has two points. Yeah, nicks Bright has negative one.
I've got zero and Marie has zero.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Man Daddy, more like Man Daddy.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
I'm laying on the ground, but I will cut your
achilles tendon.
Speaker 8 (27:22):
That means it's now Angela with thirty hp against and
she's regular size now against Felix's thirty eight hp.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
You got this, Angela, You got this girl, got that
Felix versus Angela.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Not a chance in.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Hell that cocaine power cocaine.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Felix is rolling a D eight.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
Now, So one, Angela, you have to heat, you have
we have faith in you, Angela for the.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
D eight and it's an eight. How could this happen?
Speaker 14 (28:14):
That's the echoes of a million suffering cries fill the
air and deafen. All those are year, one by one,
every soul from every Angela slams down upon the shattered
visage of Felix. Until broken and defeated, Angela prime herself
(28:37):
thrust a saber into the hole where a once beating, thriving.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Heart had lived.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
The ethereal shell that housed a man with great potential
while living is extinguished once and for all, and a
heavy shadow of dread retreats from the light. The curse
strangle hold of Felix is no more. It is the
dawn of a new era. At Fort France.
Speaker 5 (29:09):
Were okay, okay, we're done with him, came to destroyed.
Thank you, my god?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Could you have done that like from the first round?
Speaker 3 (29:21):
And yeah, a lot of angela, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
We are exhausted and you're welcome.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Oh my god, exhausting round of D and D. I've
ever played with people that have never played D and D.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Awesome, you'll be still alive.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
No no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no
no kill him still but no, that's even worse.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
No more.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
We're gonna get together around together.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Why what are you to do?
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Taking everybody?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
My word is bond here explain I should trust you
with that?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 13 (29:53):
You have no reason to trust me. But here is
a chest to honor and trust it. It contains my
most priced possess friends. Please receive it now.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Please.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
It's just an N sixty four and a copy of
Hotel California.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
I created my personality around that album so.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
Much so fih, there's no wait wait, wait, wait wait,
there's a false bottom.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
There's a false bottom that. Oh look at that, Look
at that.
Speaker 13 (30:20):
That's my collection of soft corn pourn which unfortunately was
the hardest they made back in the nineteen fifties.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
It was a different time.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
The war is even better.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
You don't even know where that. My job's done here.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Wow, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, ladysmer lady son, thank you, lady Son. I appreciate
it away now. I don't know if you guys knew
I could fly.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Oh my god, look at her. Go don't understand how
she's flying away.
Speaker 10 (30:47):
And a.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Man daddy sized hole in the ceiling.
Speaker 5 (30:52):
Oh, that's right. She had to do the whole clothes
that I did when she went through. That was cool.
It was like a reverse wily coyote. That was dope.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
By the way, we got to get that black mold
checked out. That's crazy bad, actually.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Real quick, the whole to the whole.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Oh so much, all right, guys, thank you, Sabrina bye.
She really is a plan. That's crazy. That's forever underneath
my collection of soft core porn.
Speaker 8 (31:23):
Sears catalogs, okay, the original software, go through them, okay.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
Girdles, girdles, girdles.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Is there a page together?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
That's the one with the Christmas toys.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Christmas toy.
Speaker 13 (31:38):
That's my last prank on you, guys. If you keep digging,
you'll find the deed tricks that added your name.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Finally, really it's mine.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
Really?
Speaker 6 (31:46):
Oh wait, guys, there's two photographs here under all this
Sears roebucks, you know, nostalgia.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Like actual film photographs.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
Yeah, like wow, for real ones. Look, there's two.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
One I didn't know that was in there.
Speaker 5 (32:00):
Guys.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
This is like helix as like a little a little
boy look almost adorable?
Speaker 3 (32:09):
What's before?
Speaker 5 (32:10):
You wanted to still had the mustache? Wait?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Hold on, show it to me.
Speaker 13 (32:14):
I probably got that from Getty Images, to be honest
with you, because you know I didn't have any baby
or early photos of me.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Oh okay, and I wanted something to remember my youth.
Buy in some way. What's underneath?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
It's with us?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
What from Wind?
Speaker 7 (32:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
It's it's very candid. I don't know where. There's cameras
in the fort.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Describe it to me. Give me one final joy.
Speaker 5 (32:33):
This is all of us.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
The very first time we entered Fort Fritz, there was
not We didn't even pose for this, but you can
see us here.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
You go. Take that, Take that I messed up.
Speaker 13 (32:44):
I kept those two pictures to remind me there is
innocence in us all we often ignore it, Oh demon,
a weakness. Just as you've held me in your heart
and your mind's eye, wherever it may be, I've done
the same with you.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Thank you for thinking of that, of talking to me.
Speaker 13 (33:01):
Each word, each curse only build my spirit greater than
anything on earth ever. Has you never forgot about me,
and you could have easily. I guess what I'm trying
to say is thank you for giving me the strength
to attempt murder one last time.
Speaker 5 (33:18):
Will give that.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Power from You're welcome.
Speaker 13 (33:24):
Well, last thing to say to yourts what my first
stipulation is now complete? Stayed at night and slept at
the silly old fort. It was in the basement, but
still it was inside the fort. That's right, you recorded
by the original Angela.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
And I'll be honest, I did not remember you were
down there?
Speaker 7 (33:50):
Did it?
Speaker 5 (33:51):
Just did it?
Speaker 10 (33:52):
You?
Speaker 7 (33:52):
Guys?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You don't have those like fantasies.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
It happened one of those.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
What death fantasies, this fantasy life I just did stiff
Where that will come from again?
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Swatch, you're not looking too good, but it's done with ibe.
You shouldn't be doing that snort.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Just get me over ripped.
Speaker 13 (34:16):
I don't know if you guys heard I was stabbing
the part by a saber. Yeah, finally that you did
find my crypt and completed all of my wants. My
cremains are in your hands. You now can do whatever
you wish with them. But I will say this years
from now, when the public realizes I was that psychopathic
(34:37):
killer who killed for fun and deleted entire genealogies from
the earth, and I was still am and will forever
be that asshole Johnny and Joni Sixpack will hear about
from an oversaturated podcast market.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
One question still lingers, Can I ask it?
Speaker 12 (34:52):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (34:54):
How will you all remember.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Me as that killer asshole that kill for fun.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Somebody who betrayed my trust?
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Your piece, I'm gonna say, you're my uncle.
Speaker 13 (35:11):
Thank you for your truths. I never had family. I've
always wanted one. I guess that's pretty stupid now in
hindsight to want something you've.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Never had or never known.
Speaker 13 (35:21):
I always wanted someone I could rely on, someone to
tell me right from wrong at an early age, someone
to tell me it's gonna be okay no matter what happens.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Your words are affirmation enough. Though, I fixed up, and
I'm sorry.
Speaker 13 (35:37):
I realize now the family I've always wanted has been
there for me, and now unfortunately I can't have it.
But thank you from the bottom of my heart for
being the family I've always needed in the family I got.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
Well, now I feel bad, but that that sounds like
family to me.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
I'm that's honestly everything giving.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
Yeah, pretty much? Okay there, I guess. Are we done
with Felix and we have the fork?
Speaker 3 (36:19):
It's like a bare weight for him for a little bit.
Speaker 5 (36:21):
Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 7 (36:26):
Look, I don't know what we're gonna do with these remains.
I would like to keep them and have them in
a bag that I carry around with me all day
and I look at them and go.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
Every day looking so angry.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
Maybe we should put him in and bay, oh just
they just feed him to a kit. It's a peaceful place,
and maybe that's where.
Speaker 5 (36:47):
A place with k is peaceful.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
Look, he was a dick, but he wasn't that big
of a dick.
Speaker 5 (36:52):
Yes, he was, try to kill you.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
I think we should bring them in the amusement park.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Oh he did love that a music park, which is
why I v to that. I don't want him to
be happy.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
Yeah, he was your uncle, Fritz.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
What do you want to do with him?
Speaker 8 (37:06):
I want to flush him down the toilet. Wow, I
mean he's right here, he's done.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Now what listen, you were his only family that's left.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
You a Jewish mother would but look treated him.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
There was a moment of kindness in the end, maybe,
but how how many years of.
Speaker 5 (37:26):
Okay, she definitely knew does the legacy of terror?
Speaker 6 (37:29):
Think about all the great things he did, like like
annexing all that land and taking it away from banking
or or taking advantage of all those farmers and stealing
food from them.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Destroying all Right, he was he was a monster. He
cloned a bunch of me and and was a complete
madman and a tyrant.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
And he did so many shady, shystery things.
Speaker 8 (37:53):
Guys, there's only one way to solve this. Let's take
a break, okay, all right, and then we'll come back
We'll figure it out, all right. Listening to Fort Fritz,
what do we do for my profile?
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Shoot?
Speaker 3 (38:06):
How many?
Speaker 11 (38:21):
Hey?
Speaker 15 (38:21):
Hey, hey, it's that mortgage guy Don. My two decades
of experience and dozens of wholesale loan options give you
a competitive edge when shopping for a home loan. It's
so easy to get a free quote at that mortgage
guy Don dot com. Already have a loan estimate. Hit
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(38:42):
better deal. Don't miss the vote. Compare your quote today
at that mortgage guy Don dot com.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Dot com.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Welcome back to the Fort Fritz.
Speaker 8 (38:56):
I'm your host Fritz, joined as always my co host Mandaddy, Hi, Marie, Hello,
Angela prin Yeah, and Nick Spry.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Well, you gotta have a cold beer after that one.
Speaker 5 (39:08):
After everything takes two.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Just takes not every day you kill a ghost.
Speaker 5 (39:14):
We do that.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
I still don't know.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
I mean just the guy had the dice on his side.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Have you ever seen a ghost vacuum cocaine?
Speaker 11 (39:24):
Like?
Speaker 2 (39:24):
No immates that do that? Huge upstate. Angela for stepping
up on that one.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Can we give a little round the glow we literally
going to go Angela.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
It was worth it coming out of that bunker for
that for sure.
Speaker 6 (39:42):
I mean, Frank, we are all rather pathetic people, so
without you we would have been.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
How did it feel to stab them right in the
heart like that?
Speaker 5 (39:54):
Really good?
Speaker 2 (39:54):
It looks like you really wanted to also do that.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
Oh my god, stop the curb stump is.
Speaker 5 (39:59):
Fucking a little twisty twisty.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
No good.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I felt really proud to do that. I felt like
I was the right person to do that.
Speaker 10 (40:06):
No, for sure, Yeah, anyone has been I would have
voted for you. I would have been Yeah, yeah, you
definitely have had a rough go of it. Yeah, apparently
he dug you out of a graveyard. I don't have
to show the tapes to wait.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
Wait forget, why would one tape digging up a bad bodies.
Speaker 12 (40:26):
For patrons of the Sinkhole. First, an update on the
massacre at the Villages the Nerds. You'll want to keep
the small ones out of the room for this. This
story is absolutely.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
This one.
Speaker 12 (40:40):
Over two hundred residents of a retirement community were brutally
murdered in a seemingly premeditated early night time raid. Multiple
suspects a large array of weapons only unarmed elderly citizens,
and the FBI announced it's now earned a top on
the most wanted list. Authorities now say local area shop
(41:03):
owners have corroborated alibis for their previously unnamed suspects, following.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
They don't have any suspects.
Speaker 12 (41:10):
Anymore cleared any new information, but as it appears now
police are back to square one. That's unfortunate.
Speaker 7 (41:21):
Now over to there's no suspects in all those people
we killed in the villages.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
That's right, there were zombies, we doubled kilty, didn't do
any of.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
The cubs head suspects. And then the mayor and business
owners quote.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Yeah, really to sound like a gift basket.
Speaker 8 (41:46):
I'm going to say right now, if any of you
guys say anything about any of this to anybody, I will.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Kill you.
Speaker 5 (41:58):
Right now. We are in a blood cult right now.
Speaker 9 (42:00):
We all have just as much to lose as you do. Good,
but we do, oh, both Hans and deb a big thing.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Yeah, some chocolates.
Speaker 8 (42:07):
I don't know, one of those those fruit flower things, yeah,
any of the flowers, any of the.
Speaker 5 (42:12):
Fruits, but we should probably any of the fruits.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
You should probably parlays, right, I mean, I mean.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
It's one of those things that you keep the heat
off everybody.
Speaker 10 (42:22):
You know.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
And also I don't want to be here anymore, man
like right now, Like this is just too much. You know,
I just killed my We always supposed to go.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
I mean, the Ford has been our our magnet for
so long. It's no matter what I end up here.
So what am I supposed to.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Do after that battle?
Speaker 5 (42:39):
I'm kind of hungry. How about you.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Want to get some chicken?
Speaker 5 (42:43):
I could do it.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Get some chicken.
Speaker 5 (42:46):
Does anyone have Deb's number?
Speaker 10 (42:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (42:48):
I do.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I think we just called the chicken.
Speaker 5 (42:50):
I want to walk in and just have a chicken
display going on.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I mean I think you order the chicken.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Yeah, you order it first and you show up and
then it's there, the chicken and pre ordered fries.
Speaker 5 (43:01):
Yeah, I learned about Oh that's right, Oh mister potato dude.
Speaker 6 (43:06):
Guys, all I'm gonna say is, look, the world is
our oyster. It is nineteen seventy one Nixon. It's just
opened up relations with China.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Not understand how time work.
Speaker 8 (43:16):
Let's let's get out of here. I'm going to fall
behind you, guys. I'm just going to make sure I
get my satchel and you know, tie my shoes.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Well, so who's driving?
Speaker 5 (43:26):
Probably not all the gray water, natty line. I should
not be driving.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
You guys can all happen in the back of the
truck and we can get out of here.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, some of these packages and see what else I can.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
Well do a little soggy beginning, Yeah, a little salty.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
I'm sure there's a pot.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
POORI one in there.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Just open it up.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Let's do one last toast. Okay, yeah, right here we go.
Speaker 5 (43:51):
Drinking, drinking, all right, Now, get out of my house.
It's finally your house. Finally your house after all these years,
and he's got finally.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
I have to talk to you the new percentages. You
get two percent, nicked, braye, you get fifteen. Everybody, just
shut up and then I'll work out the rest later.
Speaker 4 (44:11):
This truck be moving all right, soon be chewing.
Speaker 5 (44:14):
Let's go on some chicken.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yes, by the way, that any commercial is. This truck
be moving and so you be chewing awesome chicken. All right,
So guys, thank you so much. You know I want
to get out of the fort too, but just give
me a little bit lock up.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Yeah, I'll be ready by.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Finding himself finally alone at his fork for the first time,
Fritz slides an overfilled cardboard box to the center of.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
The living room place beautiful rights.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
He brings out cleaning supplies, spray bottles, and claws, proceeds
to wipe away decades of ingrained cup webs, grime, and dirt.
A thick dab of pearly white polish is gently applied
until a rich luster of yellow sparkles and dances across
the cozy space, and after careful consideration, he places the
(45:09):
now spotless and proud, solid gold urn, complete with the
earthly remains of his late uncle Felix, square and center
on the fireplace mantle. Fritz takes a step back to
view the newest addition to the fort, and after a
brief pause, he says a thoughtful implication to his late uncle.
He speaks only to himself, addressed to the Earth, keeping
(45:32):
the words private and close to his heart, and hopes
Felix has found a peace.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
He was denied on Earth.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Felix, I know you can, hear me.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
With a sigh of relief, he takes a seat on
the large leather couch and kicks up his feet on
the coffee table. The adventure is finally over. Now's the
time for reflection and peace.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Don't attack me, Schmutzer
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