FIFA and the POTUS

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
As our good friend Russia. Limbaugh used to say, if
only I had a fraction of the power and influence,
they say, I do. Apply that to President Trump, who
apparently now has dominion over World Cup soccer. His political enemies,
clinical victims of TDS are now accusing him of threatening, bribing, cajoling,
frightening the entire world of soccer leadership. In the overturning

(00:23):
of American striker Valerin Bulogan and his unfair suspension, well
you know what happened. He got a red card and
was suspended, and then, after the intervention by the White House,
was reinstated, just in time to mimic his teammates and
play like garbage in the loss to Belgium. Of course,
any country not named the United States of America was

(00:44):
outraged that this suspension was erased. Some implied it was
a permanent stain on the sport and if the Americans
were to go on and win the Cup, it would
be forever tainted. Well maybe by you guys, but not us.
We would have put that trophy on tour and give
that red card all the mind time of a cardboard box.
But for fun, what if Trump did throw his weight

(01:05):
around and check some of these soccer flimsies into the stands.
How did he do it? From twenty four hundred miles away.
When the red card was flashed, Trump was outraged. He
doesn't know a lot of soccer, but like everybody else
except the Bosnian whose ankle got stepped on, after which
his facial expression appeared as though he was giving natural childbirth,

(01:27):
knows what is and isn't a flagrant foul. Watch the WNBA.
What those thugs are doing to Caitlin Clark. Shouldn't just
get them suspended, but deported to the Soviet Union. In football,
we have a targeting penalty that's to keep players from
getting killed, and if you get one, you just lose
the rest of that game. In the next two quarters.

(01:49):
In hockey, you can spread the other guy's teeth on
the ice like chicklets and sit for two minutes. The
big reversal of the infamous red card started that night.
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnik, Trump's favorite sharp elbow guy, and
Andrew Giuliani, the White House World Cup Liaison, organized several
phone calls with Trump and FIFA executives. He would argue

(02:12):
the suspension was without merit. And unfair two team USA.
The fIF of people are aware Trump was personally behind
the landing of the Cup this year in North America
and the finals in New Jersey. Getting the US team
there for the president was like winning the election. So

(02:32):
Job one, find a team of killer lawyers, make the
case under Article twenty seven of the FIFA bylaws. If
they don't budge pull out an old Trump family heirloom
the lawsuit, sue the bastards, enjoin the whole tournament if necessary,
and don't waste time on people who can't say yes.

(02:55):
Go all the way to Gianni Infantino, FIFA's CEO and
the guy that Trump once labeled the King of soccer.
Trump has his cell phone number. The two have a bromance.
Trump's been slow dancing with a guy since twenty sixteen,
trying to land the World Cup for the States. Infantino
has returned to the affection. He's a regular guest in

(03:17):
the Oval office, was by Trump's side at a UFC
fight in Miami and even the Gaza Peace Summit in Egypt.
That was quite a line up there. The President, the
Vice president, Ambassador at Israel, the Secretary of State, and
the President of FIFA ending the war, implying if only
somebody had thrown a soccer ball out there, the Israelis

(03:40):
and who Thi's would have called the whole thing off.
Trump handled the Infantino conversation personally. By the time they
spoke for a second time, the suspension was in pieces
and would be the first red card overturned in a
World Cup match since nineteen sixty two. The rest of
the world threw a red card at Trump, conveniently forgetting

(04:01):
that no sports organization in the world has more pock
marks than FIFA over the decades corruption charges, including allegations
of bribery, voting scandals, kickbacks, wirefraud, money laundering. Some of
their top execs are locked up. If you don't like
Trump's meddling, here put odds on Kamala Harris or Joe

(04:23):
Biden throwing their shoulder behind reversing the bad call, you know,
putting America first.