Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the podcast. This would typically be the
on demand where you'd catch the whole show. The thing is,
the show is off for the New Year's holiday, so
it's Marcus. Producer Taylor on the mic with me Hello.
Decided we were going to play a rousing rendition of
Would you Rather? New Year's Eve? Edition? Now. I have
tailored my questions around New Year's Oh okay, and they
are saucy and racy and goofy, and they're not really racy,
(00:25):
they're just goofy. This is producer Taylor's favorite game.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I do love this game, and one of.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
The reasons we play is that I want you to
get to know her better. You've known me for thirteen years.
I'm incredibly boring, and she's new and she's lovely. She's
been very helpful. So here we go. Do you want
to start or should I start?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You start?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Okay? From my master list? Would you rather have New
Year Knew Me accidentally tattooed on your arm in a
twenty twelve font or be forced to say New Year
Knew Me out loud before every sent you speak for
all of January.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
The second one, There ain't no way I'm getting a
tattoo of New Year, New Me in twenty twelve. Font.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You know what, I don't want to know?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay, all right, you go.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Okay, mine are not tailored to New Year's.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
But that's fine. They're worse, Okay, whatever you need to know.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Okay. Would you rather every baby you pass just starts
uncontrollably crying or every dog you encounter peace on you?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
They'll sound horrible. Can I outrun the dog or is
it automatically? So automatically just will be able to pee
on me every time?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Every time?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I'm not doing that. But that's the worst sound in
the world, a baby crying.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
And it's only because you showed up.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
All right, give me the baby? Moving on? Okay, next one,
New Year's edition. Would you rather start twenty twenty six
knowing exactly what your biggest mistake will be or knowing
exactly what your biggest win will be but not knowing
when it's coming.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Ooh, probably the win?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, Yeah, that's a dumb one. That's an easy one.
Of course, we want to root for the win. Yeah,
all right, well, okay, I'm sucking so far.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
You go, Okay, I'll go. Would you rather have a
free house, free food, and every single one of your
basic needs completely covered for life?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Free, Yes, to live a modest life? Or would you
rather have an army of one thousand loyal elves who
will do whatever you command?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Uh? I'm going with the free food and the free
basic needs in the free house, because then any money
that I make, I can then harness the power of
the eighth Wonder of the world, compound interest, and make
my nut for retirement. Okay, that was the most old
guy answer everything.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
That really was all right?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
My turn? Would you rather which one do I want
to go to? Midnight Kiss Edition? Okay? Who would you
rather make out with on New Year's Eve? No? Steve Buscemi, I.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Don't know who that is.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Okay, great Adam Driver, I don't know who that is.
What about Pete Davidson? No, I have to go. Let
me go to my next one because that was terrible. Okay.
Would you rather start twenty twenty six with incredible luck
but terrible hair or perfect hair every day but absolutely
(03:40):
nothing goes your way until July?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Well, seeing as I had really bad hair last year
and I lived with it, then I'm going to go
with the bad hair.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh, this already happened.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I lived it all right, you go, Okay. Would you
rather would you rather live to be one hundred years
old but you're the ugliest person in the world, or
live till you're thirty five and be the most attractive
person in the world.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I'm oh, God, can I live to sixty five because
I'm well past that thresh No, my life would have
been over way too many years ago. Oh no, thirty five?
Really strong? Yeah, because like you go out your blaze
of glory, you know what I mean? Like, I don't
want to live to be one hundred as an ugly person.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
As an ugly person, all hard your life is, let
me tell you honestly.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, well, let me break it down for you. It's
not easy, okay. Would you rather start twenty twenty six
thinking you absolutely nailed your New Year's outfit and then
later see photos that strongly disagree or no, you looked
great but never get a single picture of proof had.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Both actually happen? Yes, And the worst out of the
two is looking really good and not having a photo. Okay,
So I would rather think, you know, I look really good.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And then photos come out that you were an absolute.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Tread because I can burn them. No one needs to
see that. If they're digital, stop the internet is forever.
I hate it. Okay, huh would you rather every time
you shower the water temperature is at one hundred and
ten degrees or every time that you eat your food.
It's like, if it's a hot food, it's gonna be cold,
(05:35):
or if it's cold food, it's gonna be hot.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh, one hundred and ten degrees is very tepid.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Warmish?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
One hundred times warm ish?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Do you know what your water heater is set at
right now at your house, young lady? No, considering how
much hot water I assume that you and your family consume,
which is to say a lot, because the Fulsehoods are
very what's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Perfect?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yes? But also, you guys are gluttonous? Is not true.
I know, I know, I know, I know. I've met
your dad. Actually, I'm more scared of your mom. The
fulsoms go all out. So whereas they recommend that you
set your water heater to one twenty five almost guaranteed,
and go home and ask your dad your water heater
(06:25):
is at least set to one thirty right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Guarantee heay, I will have to come back and confirm
for you.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I'll bet you the captain knows what the water heater
is set at without even looking.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Probably, I'll bet you he knows everything.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
He really does. God bless the captain. All right? Would
you rather your internal monologue be accidentally broadcast out loud
for the first five minutes of twenty twenty six or
have your drunk New Year's Eve texts printed and mailed
to your entire contact list? Now? The first one literally
(06:57):
internal monologue accidentally broadcasts is what we do for work.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I don't, right, not a hard one O. My texts
are pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'd need better questions. This is terrible, let's see. No, well,
go ahead, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Would you rather always smell bad and there's nothing you
can do about it?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Or never be able to find clothes in your size
ever and you can't tailor them or anything like you're
just playing.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I can't go through life smelling bad. Do you know
how many people would hate you and avoid you?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
It is my biggest like fear to be stinky?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, and listen. I live with a lady who has
werewolf smell like there's nothing I can do about it,
so it's not fun. It's not fun. Sometimes she could
smell everything. I'm gonna go with X extra small shorts.
All right, go on, You're welcome. Would you rather spend
(07:55):
all of twenty twenty six constantly running five minutes late
or arrife everywhere on time? But always forget why you
walk into the room.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Nobody likes you if you're running five minutes time.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I know, and I hate when people are late, probably
probably beyond time. And forget why I walked in. Really? Yeah,
I forget things so easily.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Already literally just described my life after forty anyway, So
who cares? Uh?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Okay, go ahead, okay. Would you rather be violently hungover
on New Year's Day or be sat next to and
have to deal with your most racist family member on Christmas?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I'm going racist family member only because I am a
champion troll and so I will troll them the whole time.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yeah you are, I'm that guy.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
What about you? Well, we'll finish strong on that one
racist family member or hung violently hungover on New Year's Day.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You know I've dealt with both. I've lived these both,
and I have to say race family member.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
For what is a little bit better to be honest,
but only slightly.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
No. I remember I was violently hungover on New Year's
Day and we were in Utah and we went up
to the High West Distillery and I was, you know,
just hair of the dogging my way through it and
wrong decision I had. We had to pull over on
the side of the road. It wasn't pretty. Yeah, not
doing that again. So I'd rather hang out with my grandma.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Is Grandpa going to be mad?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
No, she can't be all right?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
The Internet's forever. Next one, last one, This.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Podcast is just gonna be us laughing.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Okay, last one for me. Would you rather start the
new year with a brand new planner you never open
or a completely unhinged notes app full of ideas you
swear you will quote make sense later.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I'm really good about using my planner. I don't even
think that would happen for me.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That's not the question, counsel.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Wait, what was it again? Right?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Would you rather start your new year with a brand
new planner you never opened or a completely unhinged notes
app full of ideas you swear you will make happen later.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
My notesop already looks like that, So I'm going that one.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
That was anti climactic. You got any more?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yes, okay, this one isn't a would you rather? But
it's a question. Okay, okay, you get one hundred thousand
dollars for losing one finger of your choice. Any additional
finger you lose will times ten the amount of money
you receive. How many are you losing.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The whole finger?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
This is terrible, No, but it's times ten well for
each other one that you get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
See, here's the thing about this is I would automatically
say pinky, but then the second i'd drop a pinky,
that's when you realize how integral to your life your
pinky is. Like, how you have that answer right now?
I can't tell you that it's impossible to type.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, it's gonna say, don't you already kind of.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Have you know what it's like to type on a
quirdy keyboard when you could only use four of your fingers?
As terrible? So I'd probably drop a pinky, and I
think that's.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
It really, So only one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, I'm good with that, okay, because I could take
that and again with the investment thing, I can we
could make that happen over the next decade. Okay, what
about you. You drop more than one finger?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Probably, I thought of losing a finger is terrible.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I mean, yeah, no, they're.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
They're functional and important.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
The pinky, though, like that one is actually useful. I
feel like the ring finger, I'm getting rid of it.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Uh. I don't like to think about losing appennages for money.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I feel like we only really need four fingers right, all.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Right, hold up four fingers right now to the camera.
I believe, I believe. I believe we've peaked in this podcast.
We're gonna go ahead and shut her down until next year. Ay,
I did that joke again. Hey, thank you for listening.
We just wanted to talk to you because we're not
doing the on demand this week because we're on vacation.
We hope you're having a RESTful time with your family
(12:08):
and we will talk. Make sure you're tuned in. We'll
be back on the air live January fifth, six am.
Not only will we have thousands of dollars with the
Base ten K day giveaway, but at scheeron tickets to
give away. Yes, true. All right, Love you guys for listening.
We'll talk to you next time.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Bye.