“Intellectually, I know what I have to offer and I know what I deserve.” Comedian Lara Beitz talks about dating emotionally unavailable people, learning to set boundaries, and working on not ghosting people, both romantically and in other aspects of her life. “It’s easier to withdraw… but we need people. It’s how we’re wired.” She talks about having a spiritual advisor in her life to guide her on creating healthier relationships an... Read more
“The journey will take as long as it takes and you already have everything you need with you.” Adam Connie Sr. stops by to talk about his first marriage, alcoholism, homelessness, and learning to live your life for yourself. “I went through life looking for someone to please… I don’t do that anymore."
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“Love used to mean ‘I can’t live without you,’ but now… I know that I can. I don’t use the word so lightly.” In the span of 2 years, stand-up comedian Sean White lost 3 siblings and a mother and also went through a divorce. He stops by to talk about how those experiences altered how he thinks about love. He also talks about how he keeps his family with him, “they become totems… you keep them with you and you can request guidance fo... Read more
"He told me: Halle Berry fucks for parts.“
Comedian and Writer Jessica Lovelace Chandler tells the story of being 19 and having a ‘private callback’ with a 50-year-old TV executive in Hollywood that became increasingly uncomfortable. “I remember thinking that I didn’t want to be there, but I didn’t know how to get out of it.” We discuss the range of reactions to someone touching you without your permission and the cloudy ... Read more
“I can be black and be THIS person at the same time!” Katrina Davis talks about being a black nerd growing up, not feeling like she fit easily into any group, and interracial dating. “Black guys weren’t interested in me, so NOW for (them) to cop an attitude about me dating white guys… it’s ridiculous.” We cover identity, the perils of on-line dating, and what it means to find a partner that accepts you for the weirdo you truly are.... Read more
“There was always this fear that it would go too far and I wouldn’t be able to raise my voice and say no.” Stand-up comedian Kari Assad talks about losing her virginity at a late(ish) age and falling in love with her current boyfriend. “It helped that we both already liked ourselves.” We also bond over the odd (and terrifying) things that happened to us as women, and the struggle of communicating those experiences to our male part... Read more
“It’s not a boob job… don’t ever say that to a survivor.. it’s like an amputation” One of my closest friends and preventative mastectomy survivor Mary Sugiyama stops by to talk about finding out she was positive for the mutated BRCA2 gene, which coupled with her family history gives her a 90% chance of breast or ovarian cancer. “I was 3 months into dating Nico and I was scared… it’s a lot to put on a new relationship.” She talks ab... Read more
“I’ve never been in Love, I’m not even sure what it is…” Isaac Hirsch talks about his confusion around love and sex “I like sex… when it works.” He talks about a strange introduction to sex, not being able to read the social cues of whether or not women want to have sex, his dislike of rejection, and his general disinterest in romantic relationships. “I live an emotionless existence… if someone wants to try and date me… have realis... Read more
“I will smooch that coach into wanting to live!” Kelsey Lane and I talk about the relationship between co-dependents and narcissists, and our tendency to date people that NEED us. She talks about taking a break from dating and we bond over trying to destroy our Savior Complex with the people we date.
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“All the things that you’re afraid of - when you have the right partner, everything becomes 50% easier” Pat Barker comes on to discuss how he met his wife, his prolonged courtship “We dated for a year before I was ready to be in a relationship… her friends HATED me” and dealing with a miscarriage prior to their wedding. He gives insight into what it feels like to find a supportive partner, and how to balance your dreams with your f... Read more
“If you’re old enough to be fuckin’ you don’t get to ask your Mom to make you pancakes.” Comedian and Scene Mom Anna Valenzuela stops by to talk dating grown-ass men who can take care of themselves, NOT being everyone’s Mom and taking the time for self-care. She talks about her current relationship, how it came to be and how they maintain it. “Communication is Key, we talk about everything.”
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“It takes about 2 years for someone to realize they don’t like me.” Max Matiash and I discuss all the ways that his borderline personality disorder affects his life and romantic relationships. We talk managing symptoms, weaponizing emotions, and building a sense of self-esteem beyond external validation. We also have a trauma-bonding speed round.
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“When white girls say they like black guys… they’re not talking about me.” Nate and I discuss growing up albino, intellectualizing hatred and fear, and the responsibility of having someone actually fall in love with you. “I’m afraid of someone else falling in love with me… because I don’t always like myself and if someone falls in love with me, and that means that I have to live up to their idea of me… and it’s terrifying.”
“Now I have a whole new group of people to be disappointed in me!” Chris talks about his wild childhood “some people grow up thinking of their mother making pies… my mom did heroin. That’s just part of what I remember about her.” and how taking a DNA test and getting in touch with his Father’s Family at age 30 has changed his outlook for the future. “Now I think about having kids… I never considered that before.”
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“There are songs that I shared with women that I then have to re-claim… because it’s a song I really like.” Jimmy and I talk music and love, how certain songs remind you of certain people and how what you’re listening to marks the passage of time and love in your life. He also talks about his relationship with music making him a fuller person and I riff heavily on him being an old man.
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“It’s not a breakup until someone has to get a restraining order.” Aston Wallace and I discuss commitmentphobia, briefly dating each other and our super-chill breakup. We also discuss FOMO for parties and potential partners and talk about bringing kids into a world that kinda sucks. I only cry a little bit.
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“We were 14… and then she got pregnant.” Dominic Angel talks about how dating (and having sex) at a very young age changed how he views relationships. “I had to learn how to have friends… to pursue something else besides just that one other person.” We talk about how he’s grown up since then and how he’s working on being a fuller, healthier person in relationships.
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“Masculinity is something that can be taken from you.” Stand-up comedian and philosopher Brian Simpson talks about his journey from being a foster kid “people made choices for my life, but didn’t have to be around to suffer the consequences,” to ‘being his own man’ in the military. He talks about masculinity as a prison that causes conflict between men and women in relationships, and what he does to try and free himself from it tho... Read more
“We’re all having a lot of sex, none of it’s very good, and we’e all miserable living by the beach” Stand up comedian and co-host of The Mean Boys Podcast Keith Carey talks about discovering his sexuality at a very young age, the warped sex talk his step-father gave him at age 8, “Don’t be gay unless you go to jail” and how he’s moving towards finding love. WARNING - FRANK TALK ABOUT SEX IN THIS EPISODE
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“Love is this thing that doesn’t solve everything"
Stand-up comedian and co-host of Cult Podcast, Armando Torres discusses the psychological effects of homelessness and how his mindset affected his relationship at the time. He talks about how his family’s relationships affected his ideas about love, how homeless people are treated, and how not feeling centered in the world leads to feelings of alienation.
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