November 14, 2025 • 53 mins
Tonight on The Brian Crombie Hour, Brian chats with Katia Stern, a board-certified clinical sexologist who has had one of the most fascinating career journeys he's heard: from lawyer to fitness competitor to executive coach — and now doing her PhD research on perimenopausal women. Katia tells Brian very candidly that you can have the perfect-looking life — success, real estate, the gym body, the titles — and still feel like you’re disappearing on the inside when perimenopause hits. That’s what drove her to this work: so many women in their 40s and 50s feeling invisible, struggling with body changes, intimacy, hormones, and no one explaining what’s happening.
Together, they discuss the difference between “sexy coaching” online and real, science-based clinical sexology, how perimenopause affects relationships and desire, why a lot of her private clients are actually men trying to understand their partners, and how tools like hypnotherapy, nutrition, and strength training can help women get their confidence and pleasure back.
Together, they discuss the difference between “sexy coaching” online and real, science-based clinical sexology, how perimenopause affects relationships and desire, why a lot of her private clients are actually men trying to understand their partners, and how tools like hypnotherapy, nutrition, and strength training can help women get their confidence and pleasure back.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The views expressed in the following program are those of
the participants and do not necessarily reflect the views of
Saga nine sixty am or its management.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Brian Crumby Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
While Well, I've got a really interesting conversation for you
tonight and a fascinating individual to introduce you.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Kathya Stern is her name. She is amazing.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
She's got a really interesting background, and she's just launched
a new business and a new career as a clinical
sexologist and she's doing her PhD in clinical sexology.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
She has had a really interesting background.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
She's been an executive coach, she's been a fitness competitor,
she's been a Miss Canada, missus Canada, a beauty contestant.
She's been an author, two time best selling author of
some books. She's got master's degrees, and now she's going
for a PhD in clinical sexology and she's specializing in
(01:03):
perrymenopausal women.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
So it's gonna be an interesting conversation tonight, Katya.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Well, thank you, thank you, Brian, thanks for having me.
It's always an interesting conversation with you. Well, I have
your experience and expertise you've heard of You've heard it all.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I'm sure I've had a fasting conversation with you previously
about your executive coaching business and your your you know,
confidence building and uh and really sort of commitment to
fitness and health and beauty, et cetera. But now why
the change to become a clinical sexologist and what is
a clinical sexologist? And your board certified I understand, which
(01:41):
is a different designation.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Right, Brian, let me start with this. Uh, that woman
that you talked to before that was perimenopausal and the
woman you're talking to right now it is postmenopausal. This
is like two different and this information is important for
men to know because men don't understand what's happening to
(02:05):
a women's body. Well, women don't understand what's happening too.
We don't understand what's happening to ourselves. So that's that's
kind of you know, it became my personal story and
why I'm doing this now, and it's just because people
need to know.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
So okay, so tell me again. This is tell me
your personal story. Then if you could start.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Off the personal story is that I think one of
the reasons I started working with women in the empowerment's
space is because when I was about twenty one, I
was here in Toronto, my doing my first degree in
psychology York University, and my then boyfriend's mother, she was
(02:53):
about forty five forty six, and she had some issues
with her husband was apparently cheated on her and she
found out. So she started, she you know, started taking
care of herself, like started holding on to that youth,
starting what's called like self care. And what did she do?
(03:18):
She did She quit salt, eating salt, sugar, meat, fish, eggs,
like everything. So her digestis system gave up her hermono
sastem and his system was obviously uh and chaous. And
(03:39):
I remember the conversation where she said, you know, cut
of food is talking to me. And so he took
her to her hospital because anyways, a lot of issues.
And one day they called me and it's a mom.
(04:03):
So I drove there. I get there, I see police car,
I see ambulance and everything. So she jumped from the
twelfth floor and I walked into the room when the
police was done with their investigation, I walked into the room.
The first thing I see is the perfectly laid out
(04:25):
white blows black pants and hair of heels. So she
did it intentionally, and that whole thing impacted my life
huge that that was a big impact, and I knew
I would have to do everything in my power to
(04:49):
basically not become that woman, not be as young and
as alive and as what's the word just me throughout
my whole life. So I started looking for ways to
do that through my fitness, through my psychologists degree and
(05:13):
health coaching and hormonal like, I have a lot of knowledge.
What having all that knowledge did not help me? I
mean it did, of course, of course it did, but
I still struggled. I still going through that. So now
(05:34):
I know that was a perimenopause, when her body was changing,
when her herman's book were changing. On top of it,
this intimacy issue with her husband, all of that, and
she just you know, got lost. And that's what happens
to a lot of women. And when this was happening
to me, obviously not to this extent, but to when
(05:56):
I felt like, who is this woman looking back at me?
Even though the knowledge is there and understanding is there,
the experience is there, I still I felt, you know,
I felt alone, I felt hopeless.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I felt you felt that way during perimenopause or at
that time when your boyfriend's mother committed suicide.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
No, no, no, that was like twenty years forward when
I was going through that.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So so we tell me a little bit about it,
because you know you were you were a fitness competitor.
You I've seen pictures, You've shared pictures with me. You
know you were a bikini model I think in your forties. Uh.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And you were a competitor for missus Canada as as
a mom.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
And and you know obviously you know, extremely attractive, very confident,
well educated, intelligent, successful and real estate investor, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Why can it be?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Why would you be challenged by perimenopause.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
That's the thing. That's the thing, and still happens, no
matter how extraorin your your life, how great your life is,
it's still inside. It's still it can hit you like
the women. And I didn't know that. I thought, if
I have managed that external part, and I was trying hard.
(07:18):
I mean I did enjoy it, Don't get me wrong.
I loved every minute of fitness competition and everything. But
I think this was one of the ways of being
relatable and visible, like forever. This was a part of that,
Like I, I don't want to disappear, because that's what
women are telling me. And that's like the the the
(07:39):
common symptoms of the experimental disappear. They feel the disappear.
They feel invisible. I feel like I'm not I'm not
seen by my husband, by my partner, by this society.
Like I was relatable. I was. I was, and and
I worked with professionally accomplished women because I know the pain. Uh,
(08:01):
when you see them the outside is like, oh, so
many achievements, so many things, you've done, so many you know,
children and husbands you've raised and and all of a sudden,
you're like, inside you still feel invisible. You know, there's
a test. I think I described this in my book
that you weren't wow. Uh when you walk on the
(08:22):
street and they are construction workers, and if they whistle
when you walk by them, you still got it. But
if they kind of you know, don't react, then you're done.
So it's not a joke. You actually feel like you
just hot woman. Uh. And I was always hot yeah,
(08:42):
and and which is not always a good thing, but
it's it's it's another another conversation. Uh, And all of
a sudden you feel invisible, like hello, I'm here. You
always want to almost want to scream, I'm here.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I want to be whistled Am you still want to
be whistled at?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
We can call this external validation, and I can, you know,
talk to you about how Oh no, I'm independent. I
don't care about other people's opinions. And that's in the
perfect world. But the world is not perfect. Otherwise, you know,
Instagram or any social media would not have even existed because
we do care about other people. It's just the extent
(09:30):
of how impacted we are with that. But we do care.
Women care, men care. Otherwise a lot of things that
we do we wouldn't be doing, like, for example, who
would need a ferrari if you were on an island
with with nobody looking at you or any other like
even any other achievements that we do. We do care
about people's opinion. We're social creatures, so it's one of
(09:54):
the that of course it's about like external validation, but
inside inside you feel for all your the We were
conditioned to think, to think and feel that my role
as a woman, as I'm a mother, so give birth
and build a family, or build a business or be
(10:17):
successful or whatever we were, you know, conditioned to think
and all of a sudden, like you turn usually starts
around forty forty two, And you've done all those beautiful things,
But what have you done for you? What have you
done for your own fun, for your own pleasure?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I work with women and and they're like, I don't
even know what what my pleasure is. I don't even know,
Like I know my pleasure is what gives me pleasure
in a physical sense, because there's a disconnect with the
body a lot of women, and this idea of like
lose weight as the main request. Yeah, I want to
(11:00):
lose weight, but what's what's deeper. I want to lose
weight because I don't feel comfortable with myself. I feel
like I'm not myself anymore. I obviously that impacts intimacy
because I'm not loving my body. I'm asking to turn
of delight. That's like the best I turn the light.
You can still have intimate relationship, but sometimes it's it's
(11:23):
I'm so disgusted with my body. That's what I get
from women that I can't even have sex. And and
men think it's something about them that they just don't
not want it they're not this and it with women,
it's it's it's much simple. And sometimes you know, she
forgot to shave her legs. That's why she doesn't have intimacy.
(11:44):
But going back to pleasure, like, there's such a disconnect
that we were not taught to to to experience pleasure.
We were taught to get married. And you know they
all do the check mark. Yeah, but whoever taught us
how to orgasm? For example? Like how that it's supposed
(12:06):
to do a certain way to relax or to give in,
to submit even like and this professional accomplished woman when
I said submission to me, submit, No, No, I'm you know,
I have to be strong. I have to be independent
that I can't submit to man. No, it's like submission
(12:26):
to life, which is again it's it's a huge topic.
But being this strong doesn't always work. Because when I
asked him, okay, so you strong, you were independent, you're soul.
You know, I can be on my own. I don't
need a relationship. It has and so how is it
working for you?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
So I don't I catch you. I don't understand. Please
help me. So is it just getting old? Is it
gaining weight?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Is it something about the change of the hormones because
of menopause.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
What is it that is the challenge?
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Oh, that's a beautiful bouquet, all of it, all of it,
because it's all of the things are related. Because she
was too busy dealing with other people, all the family,
the careers, and she let it go. Now boom show,
(13:25):
it's up forty not loving your body to all, disconnect
with the body, feeling undesirable and having no desire, the
intimacy issues, any other issues come up because like she's
not in love with herself.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
So you said that you had a personal experience.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
You related the personal experience with your boyfriend's mother who
committed suicide when she was going through this in her forties.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Did you go through this?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Did you start not loving your body anymore? Did you
go through this perimenopausal aging issues? I did it, Yeah,
I did, even after being a brag, even after being
a fitness even after writing two books, even after all
the success that you've had.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
And it doesn't matter. That's that's the thing that was
a surprise to me. That's why my like, I want
to help, and I'm helping those women who have it
all together, who whose world looks perfect, from the outside
and and they they can't talk to anybody about this.
You don't talk to your girlfriends about this because or
(14:32):
your mother, your sisters. Everything you gonna would you're gonna
be told that like you you spoil Brad, you know
you you just you know, take your break, go shopping
or something like that. That's the advice we get from yeah, like, yeah,
go go have fun, go have some wine. But no,
(14:55):
it's much deeper. It gets dipping it and it's well,
my everything came together when I was going through this.
My I had to get a hyperplacement, so physically I
couldn't walk. Mentally I felt like, okay, I'm really I'm
(15:18):
losing it. Imagine living with the identity that you're beautiful woman,
and all of a sudden you were like formally.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Hot, formally hot, Patya, I got to tell you something.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You're not formally hot. You're still very extremely hot.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Thank you. Feeling better now, I'm out of it, so
I'm on the other side so I can talk about this.
But when the the hormones, when the estrogen estra, estrogen
is going down, and estrogen is a hormone of nurture,
and we were nurturing everybody else. Like my father died
(15:59):
when I was thirty and I was seven months pregnant
when he died. So from that point on, I took
care of my my daughter, my my mother, my younger brother,
the whole family. So I was nurturing, nurturing and nurturing
(16:19):
and nurturing. And then I realized when I started competing
with this forty two. So I guess that's when like
I started feeling that, Okay, I'm losing, I'm losing. I
gotta have it back. I got it. I gotta get
into the body. I got to start working out and working.
I wasn't enough for me, but to be that visible.
(16:41):
I did the fitness competition, this, this, but after again
that that. I guess the point was about forty six
forty seven, and and I lost a lot of money
at that time. Like I didn't lose it, but somebody
fuck me up, my best friend and a partner. So
(17:05):
that the the the menopause, the.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
So you know, many age too many aged too, men
put on weight, they go gray, they get old.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Why is it so much different? Is it? Is it?
Is it the estrogen? Is it the hormones? What is it?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
It's both It's just men have a different men have
a different different values, different value of themselves. We would
just condition differently, right, So if I'm not, if I
can't become a mother. Uh So basically that's it. I'm done,
you know, That's that's what we're feeling.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Give birth any more, You're done.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Seriously, the thoughts are there. Like when I was studying sexology,
I remember one of the movie, like, we did a
lot of training on physical aspects and on desire, on attraction,
and there was a movie that about the scientific experiments
(18:09):
on the attraction how men are attracted to women, and
one of the like there was a facial structure, the
there was the scent, there was the how a woman walks,
like everything measured scientifically, and one of the things was
that men are attracted to women who are of the leading.
(18:33):
And I'm sitting there, okay, I'm not out leading anymore.
What's up? Where's my attraction? How? And that that's it
became even more interesting to me what happens to women
after that? Because science they only took measures of women
who were obviously before the meno paused, they still the
(18:56):
other leading and everything, And I'm like, okay, so there's
no attraction between men and women. After I don't abolate.
That's it done.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
You know, I've never known when someone's ovulating. How would
you even know when someone's ovulating?
Speaker 4 (19:10):
There's a time and uh men apparently so they did
studies on this. Men feel it, right, it's certain scent pheromones,
and some some send men feel it. And just a
few days of the of the months, and the eggs
are growing, and and and and women just exude that sexuality.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
They exude that sexuality and and so they.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Open to to pro create. That's what a man of
feeling it.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Your work is, your work now is is what it's
to help women deal with the changes in in their
bodies and their lives and their mental attitude with perimenopause
and menopause.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Even though ironically eighty percent and now even more of
my private clients a man.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
You can specialize in menopause and perimenopause. Well, we're going
to take a break for some messages and come back
in just two minutes and ask you a little bit
more about maybe both your work with women as well
as your work with men. Stay with usaid, Well, this
is going to be an interesting conversation. Tonight with a
Katchius Stern, a board certified clinical sexologist.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Never heard of that before. Fascinating. Stay with us, everyone
back in two.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Minutes stream us live at SAGA nine six am dot CA.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Welcome back, everyone to the Bran Crime Radio Hour. I've
got Kattius Stern with us today.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
She is a board certified clinical sexologist and she specializes,
she says, in perimenopausal and menopausal females, though eighty percent
of her business from a coaching standpoint and a clinical
standpoint is actually with men So I think this is
going to me be an interesting conversation as we go
into both.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
But let's come back if we could catch it, because
you've had this.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You know, you've got master's degrees, you've written two books,
you've been a beauty pageant contestant, a fitness contestant, real
estate investor.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
When and how did you become a clinical sexologist? Like?
Did you have to go to school?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
You said you're doing a PhD in it? Where does
one do a PhD in sexology?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
In clinical sexology?
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Yes, of course I went back to school and I
studied the International Institute of Clinical Sexologist in my Sexology
in Miami and I passed all my exams and I
actually specialized in hypnosis for sexuality. That's my major in
(22:01):
hypnosis hypnosis. Okay, yeah, yeah, because you can go you
can get to the root of the problem through the
cognitive methods. So basically it's like a prefrontal car tax.
But it's only all our I don't want to say problems,
(22:21):
but the root cause of our perceived problems is in
the subconscious, which is like were ruled by the subconscious
which is ninety or whatever five percent, and you can't
get too deep to figure that out through through the
prefrontal cortex, through just talking through cognitive behavioral therapy. So
(22:42):
it's it's much fast and more effected to go through
to surpass the brain that part that's you know, the
new part of the brain that logical and go right
into the limbic system into into the subconscious. That's what
the belief system where it's formed when we were much younger,
(23:03):
that's what.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
So what you get people lie down on the couch
and you hold the watch up on top of them
and you and you you take them into hypnosis.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Fascinating.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
So so you how long does this course take?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I did it over a year, just a little bit
over a year. And now in my that's what the
recruds that obviously for the PhD. So my my PhD
is I was contemplating on this a lot because I
really enjoy working with men, because it's guess executive coach.
(23:40):
I worked with high end like a type of personality,
business men who have difficulties opening up who's there, who
are very controlling, who can't talk about any to anybody
about anything, especially intimate issues. So I guess they trust
me because I'm lawyer, or I don't know. They like
(24:02):
talking to me because I'm a good looking woman, I'm
fun and they open up and really they have nobody
to go to. So if women have each other, you know,
we can talk about these things, like in a group.
We can talk to girlfriends. Guys can talk about this
only if they're like I was with this. Yeah, they
can brag about their achievements. But once there's a problem,
(24:25):
they can really, you know, talk to another guy. You know,
if I have this problem, this issue, or or or
I have some perversions or desires or some fantasies, and
really they want to explore that. And sometimes they just
(24:45):
feel like there's something wrong with them. And that's where
you know they doctor to me and in a couple
of sessions, so there's nothing wrong with me. You know,
you're in all other guys that have their.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
What do you do? You just you just chat with them?
Do you? But I'm on a couch, like do you
just chat with like? What do you do?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
It depends? It doesn't have most of them are online actually,
but you can still do hypnosis. You can do like
inner work through you know, as I said, surprising that
and it's a it's a mixed mixed, it's a lot
of it. As a conversation. There are questions that people,
(25:29):
you know, avoid. You can't ask yourself a question that's
really hurtful that you know somewhere down deep you know
the answer to, but you can't take it to the
surface and really answer.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Say, these are successful men what in their forties fifties
and uh and and they're having challenges with something to
do with sex and they want to just chat about it.
And what are some of this What are the typical
questions you get? And you said perversions and things like this,
So what are the what are the typical questions or
issues that you would be addressing with men.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
You know, with my man, guilt is number one thing.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Guilt because of.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Guilt, because there's it's either he's married and really loving
his wife. But once more so, how almost every man
I talked to describes like he wants to have he
(26:29):
wants to explore. That's the word they use it. They
want to explore. They want to try, let's say some
kind of other relationship with with I don't know, treasts,
or maybe like some sex on the I don't know,
on the roof, on the play, like something different. And
but usually he can't do this with the woman who
(26:53):
is like the mother of his five children, and obviously
she's precious to him and he really loves sure, but
he wants more out of life, you know, So that's
this guilt. And or or he's like in a new
relationship and he doesn't know how to navigate that. And yeah,
(27:15):
I had an interesting case. Say he's about sixty something,
very successful man and in the relationship with a younger girl,
and he was like, is she is she after my money?
That's another thing with a lot of they come to
me for intimacy issues, but there's like things like like this,
(27:36):
like is she really for my money. So it's we've
been working with them for for a year. So now
I called him to just to see how things are doing,
how things are with him, and he's he tells, me, guys, yeah,
I'm the most I'm the happiest man alive by he's
(28:02):
with this girl. Because in the beginning he was like,
oh manymy she's after my money. It's hard to understand.
But we reframed his belief system, like every little belief
that had he holds before we had to reframe it.
Not every but a lot of them. And I, you know,
(28:23):
I work with belief system basically, that's what I do.
So because he's like, he's somebody's telling me a story
and so sure of it. And I give a different
approach to this, and which is watch.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
So you've got an older man who's got a younger
girlfriend who read is after his money.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
How did you change his belief system to what? Did
you change his belief system to reality?
Speaker 4 (28:49):
You know, because we are we all delusional, all of us.
We're living in a fantasy world. We see it as
we want to see it, but there's a flip side
to it, or there's a side side to it.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
So what's the flip side to it? That she is
after his money, but so what.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
You after her youth and beauty? How are you feeling?
Let's concentrate. Concentrate, not on what your friends are telling you,
because like he's oh, my friends are all telling you again,
how true is that that those friends know anything about
your feelings about your life? So he let it go.
(29:32):
He listened to himself and we focused on how he
feels about himself. And he walks into the whatever, into
the room, into the event, and he's like, oh my god,
I feel like on top of the world.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Because he's got this beautiful young lady beside him.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Yeah, yeah, and she's amazing, Like she's really not And
now it's over yeah, over here that they're together and
it's a loving relationship. It's beautiful. He's enjoying. And I said,
do you want to continue feeling that? It's like, yeah,
how important is that to you to feel like that?
Oh my god? Very important?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
And I work with the female, what would she say?
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Oh shit, I can't because that would be a conflict
for interest. So he never introduced me to her.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Okay, what about these men that that that that that
want to explore what do you tell them If they're
happily married, they're in love with their wives, but they
can't do their exploration with.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
The mother of the children. But they want.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
These things, what do you tell them?
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Very often they also the root cause of their exploration
is not really uh, it's deeper. They really longing some
kind of satisfaction. A lot of those men are not satisfied,
and they're looking for this type of sex as a
(30:57):
way of again like externally day in a way. So
we need to get to the root cause of like
why you're having this desire uh in the first place.
And maybe that's not of an desire to like go
go out there, and maybe that's just he doesn't feel
the attention, he doesn't feel the respect from a woman,
(31:19):
his woman, and and really the first thing is to
improve his own self confidence because maybe he's losing it
with you know, with age, and very often they still
want to they want to do something different just to
kind of prove them themselves. He's still got it. So
there's a lot of yeah, still alive because with with
(31:40):
his woman, he's not feeling it. It's just you know,
new novelty is a big thing in sex. Why do
why people are addicted to poor. Yeah, and that's another
problem is that's where do you get your education? Where
where do we get our sex education form? Right? Like
(32:03):
where else? And it's not really, it's not real. It's
not real. It's it's all fake. It's not it's and
we're trying to be like those people like it's hard
onto like hours and it's just not true. Or she
like she's enjoying this intercourse so much, which is again
(32:23):
not true. A lot of women don't even enjoy intercourse.
We're doing this for you, guys. And also like the
orgasm that only about twenty percent of women can have
an orgasm with just from penetration alone. All other seventy
(32:44):
percent or more. I would say, I need some kind
of additional stimulation, like literal stimulation too, But we have
to fake it because you just you don't have an
education and you and that's where I come in, like I.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Think it's cause don't tell me that that's terrible. We're
gonna take a break, it.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Is terrible and come back in just two minutes.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Katias Stern, and we're gonna switch for men, and we're
gonna switch and chat a little bit about women which
is her main focus. Stay with us if everyone would
be back in just two minutes with Katia Stern, a
clinical Board certified clinical sexologist.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Fascinating to stay with this, I won't back.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Into no radio, No problem. Stream is live on SAGA
nine sixty am dot c A.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Welcome back everyone to the Bran Crime your radio hour.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Well, this is an interesting conversation tonight with Katias Stern,
who is a board certified clinical sexologist.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
She is completing her PhD. She's done the course working.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
I guess she's now writing her thesis. And you're focusing
on menopausal, perimenopausal and menopause females.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
So let's go back to that.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
So you know what I have heard is that hormone
replacement is UH is one of the keys weight loss UH,
you know, still dressing young, et cetera. So you know
what's your advice to females that are going through perimenopause
or or menopause.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Well, first of all, whatever advice is for educational purposes
only by my number one advice to get more education
actually from me from other from me more on like
sex side sexology, but medical advice obviously from a specialist
(34:44):
pelvic floor specialist or your or BG y N or
your your doctor, and doctors have different opinions, and unfortunately
doctors are not well trained on this. Thanks to to
(35:04):
some people who are now creating attention to this, this
problem of menopause, perimenopause, it's just picking up. I was
just visiting the National National Menopause Show here in Toronto
a couple of weeks ago, where I'm at wonderful people
(35:27):
and people who like finally taking it seriously. So HRT is,
there's a lot of controversy about it, and I am
all up for it, and there's a lot of bad
research about like the myths that it's causing cancer, it
(35:53):
has some other problems, so do your own research.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
So what I've been told is that there were, you know,
some studies a decade or two ago that said that
hormone replacement therapy caused cancer, and they have been completely debunked,
that they were bad studies, and that the current thinking
is that that hormone replacement is very positive.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
What's what's your understanding?
Speaker 4 (36:18):
Right? Right? Absolutely, there's much more research now in all
like modern age, really advanced doctors are advocating for it.
But obviously there's time and place, like, everybody is still different,
so it can be a general advice. So everybody get
on the hr T. No, but estra dial and progesterone
(36:39):
are two main things. There's a controversy on the testosterone
as well, because it's you know a lot of women
do testosterone as a cream or as a patch or
and and that more controversy now on the testosterone. My
(37:00):
doctor is all up for it, and she's she's like,
I've seen he's seen results, not not. He knows the
symptoms and he knows the after, you know, the life
after those hormones.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
So what are the symptoms of low testosterone? And what
would take in testosterone?
Speaker 4 (37:23):
Well, at first and most important for me is a sexologist,
A lowly beautile Yeah, women like I don't want anything.
I don't. It's just a low T stosterone on top
of everything else obviously stressed body images issues and stuff
like that. But but yeah and big and it's you
(37:46):
know what I mean. Because again I'm not a medical professional.
I can't recommend it, but I I know it.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Works, okay, and so what else would you reckon? Man?
Speaker 4 (38:01):
Definitely look into the estrogen and progesterone, okay, And then.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
You commented about weight and self confidence and self awareness
and things like that.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
What do you you know what? So, yeah, so let's
let's start from from from the bottom. If you don't
do the like this is a basic stuff. You can't avoid.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
Having a proper nutrition, proper sleep, proper self care, and
fitness obviously, and and uh, fitness for me is uh.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Weight training, progressive overloading, not pulatists, not politis much that
type of stuff. And then though it sounds very cute
maybe for younger girls like my daughter is still okay
with machipilatus, but not for more experienced ladies, because there's
(39:04):
a thing like oustoporosis. We need our bones to be strong.
There are things like circupina, which is a loss of
muscles that just doesn't hold the body anymore. So definitely
weight training.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
It's like weight training, getting weight room. Huh getting into
a weight room?
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Really yeah, run run into a weight room. Of course,
there's no way around it. So you know what women
are doing to themselves. So we're doing this to ourselves.
I'm part of that group too, not in the in
the terms of you know, in this regard, but overall,
(39:41):
like we're trying to find a way out, like I'll
find my own way. I don't waste your time. Listen
to a few people who look the way you would
want to look, and not just look, but have that
energy you know there. I always love this expression because
(40:03):
the French they have this way of expressing this. It's
a the joy of life if you if you look
at the woman, she has that in her, follow her, like,
listen to her, what she does, what she especially she's trained,
and so many things like like me, like and I've
lived this, you know, I live in bredge this whole thing.
(40:27):
So find that person and follow her advice okes advice
doesn't have to be her, but just find your person
and don't over complicate. And this this there's no way out,
like there's no other way.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
So diet, nutrition, diet with training.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Protein protein, women under eat protein. Don't go too crazy
with protein because as we age, protein is is uh
can you know add to a But when especially everything
is in cycles, everything is in steps. Right if we're
(41:08):
talking about like okay, I wake up now, I want
to change my life, so that the first thing you
do is you uptake your protein. And protein we're talking
about Oh, so I need to buy protein shakes. Like,
that's the first question I get. What kind of protein
shakes do I get?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
No?
Speaker 4 (41:23):
Protein is real food. I know we get bombarded with
with all the fake foods that with all these sport
nutrition and stuff. No, the protein is is organic chicken breast,
it's organic eggs, it's organic beef. It's it's turkey, it's
uh white fish. And that's it. This are your proteins
(41:48):
and carbs. Your carbs are healthy carbs. It's potatoes are good,
good carbs. They I don't eat rice. Some people are
okay with rice. There's all this vegetables for fiber. There's
lots of water. So yeah, it's like to me, it's basic, right,
(42:13):
No processed food is good. Alcohol and perimenopause and menopause
don't work. Don't go together, even though like this is
the moment, but we'll finally, you know, God, sit down
and have a drink because we have achieved it all.
We've done it all. We've raised everybody and we needed
to raise and now we can sit down and relax.
(42:34):
It's a glass of bordeaux, Okay, A glass is okay.
I had a glass of bordeau last night because I
just closed the deal. And the biggest real estate deal
all my life. Thanks God, I finally closed it. You know,
the Toronto real estate market is now, so it took
me a while. But I did have a glass of Brudeaux,
but not too much. No, just a good wine, a
(42:57):
little better of it, or if you want to like more,
or hard liquor maybe some tequila. Clean drink. But when
you wake up in the morning after all that social
drinking and it's just no, it's it's it's still poison.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Phil Talxing, you talked about men having, you know, issues
about wanting to explore and wanting to have affairs and
not being satisfied. Is that what females are asking about?
Or No, they're just frustrated with perimenopause and menopause.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Well, they're frustrated mostly mostly with themselves. I look at
the mirror, I don't recognize that woman. Who is that
woman looking back at me? I don't know her because
the forty years previous, she knew what she was doing
and cuku she was. She was building all those things
(43:48):
that she was building. Yeah, the career, the kids, did everything,
and all of a sudden she doesn't know what she
is anymore so, and she's she's not in the body
that she wanted to have. She's not like she's hating herself.
(44:09):
And when you're in this position of like hating, uh,
no matter how much money you have, what desire, you
can't undress. You're too ashamed of yourself. And again that's
a paradox because in all the other areas you you
were perceived as a as an absolutely successful woman, but
(44:30):
you don't feel like you don't feel that because you
hate yourself in the mirror. That's the biggest issue. And
of course there's sleep problems and they're hot flashes and
then and then you feel like, okay, this is like
you're losing all of that. All these women womenly things
(44:51):
and who am I in the next life? And that's
what women also want to explore. They're not happy with
their partners. They're not I mean, I left my partner
at this time. And you know who that is? Amazing,
amazing man like perfect six for something, wealthy, well known, celebrity,
(45:19):
very good looking, like he's an ideal man.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
But then why do you live?
Speaker 4 (45:24):
Don't ask me, not that I have no regrets. Whatever
happened had to happen. And you know, I'm grateful to
him and myself. We're still very good friends, but something
is happening. It's like we want to find that something new,
like that's our novelty. Like am I done as a woman?
(45:49):
I am I done as a woman because we're like
I can't have kids anymore, so that's done. But am
I still.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
So?
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Like we were talking that men are looking for a
way to kind of be acknowledged for who they are,
and they still they've still got it. Women go through
the same thing, the thing, right, but we are losing more.
We have more to lose. We are losing our looks,
like our perceived value. Like I hate to see that,
but that's the reality. Perceived value, right is having a
(46:26):
beauty having kids, Like as a career woman, Okay, well
any man could do that work kind of thing. But
those two things as being like the feminine thing nobody
else can do, and we'll lose them. It's like we're
losing ourselves. Plus, well we're too busy taking care of
everybody else. So yeah, I'm not in my best shape.
(46:50):
I was busy, And when I work with women, I'm like,
you have to forgive yourself or because we obviously beat
ourselves up.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
How could I?
Speaker 4 (47:01):
How could I? Why did I'm so stupid? And like
calling herself names and and here's here. She is a
successful woman who built businesses, built lives for other people,
and she's made her money and everything, and all of
a sudden she's like, Oh, I'm so stupid. Why did
I do that? Why did I eat so much? I
(47:22):
hate myself? I feel like a big stop and stop
and stop it. Let's stop. First thing is to acknowledge,
to become aware where you are at this moment. Yes,
it is what it is. You're this, You're that you,
this is where you are right now. But you got
(47:44):
to forgive yourself for the things you've done or haven't done.
And kind of I don't want to say start clean,
slight because it's not really clean. Because you've now it's amazing.
You have all this experience, you have those all this
expertise from life. Now you can only going forward. It's
only going to get better. And I guess this is
(48:05):
like my message to all the other women that it's
women who are not there yet. I'm fifty two now
and it's just starting. I really feel like it's starting
because I don't have those problems anymore, and even sex,
I'm not afraid to get pregnant where I don't want
to get pregnant, And that's men do understand, but women
(48:27):
live with that issue all their lives. So sometimes it's
it's not the man that it's just we have fear.
So but when men's sex is okay in out here
we go, you know, for women it's like what if
I'll have to live with this for the rest of
my life, So it's deeper. They are more women in
general feel more unsafe. Safety is a big issue for
(48:50):
women because we can be raped, we can be bitten
when not as you know, as powerful as strong physically, obviously,
it's live in in this in this unsafe space. So
for a woman to be relaxed in her sex life,
she has to be like totally safe. That's that's sexy.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
You know.
Speaker 4 (49:14):
The sexiest thing a man can say to a woman,
what do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (49:22):
I don't know, I want to hear it. What's the
sexiest woman?
Speaker 4 (49:27):
I'll take care of it. When a man takes care
of something some of the problems that a woman has,
and you can just submit to him and say, I'll
take care of it, honey, and you're like, really, you've used.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
This word submission or submit often. That's surprising.
Speaker 4 (49:50):
Yeah, submit doesn't doesn't mean you like let your your
all your powers go and then you become dependent submit.
This is is if very feminine thing. Actually it's when
woman is relaxed, when she does feel safe to submit.
And that's why I'm just gonna quickly touch on this
(50:12):
the bid sam. It can be very therapeutic in a
sense because that's where a woman who is very controlling,
who having is having difficulties submitting me meaning letting go,
losing control, which is like impossible in real life because
they all katy. If I lose control, that's it. Who's
(50:34):
going to pay my bills? And that's kind of yeah,
but that's life. But you're taking this whole thing into
your intimacy and that's where you're having issues because you
can't let go. You can't trust because you were hurt
obviously by by man. And I understand this. I I
I left my father, my child. He was becoming physically
(50:55):
abusive and I left him after me living with him
on the forty seven meters boat in Monaco with like
seven people serving me champagne and lobsters. And all that
glitten blum life. I left him with my daughter, three
year old daughter, with the key CARTI is the Mercedes
(51:19):
he gave me.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
And because you weren't safe.
Speaker 4 (51:22):
Yeah, yeah, And I left everything and it was nothing
was zero, like no money, nothing, and started, you know,
building my whole life up.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
Do you have Jois de Vive today?
Speaker 4 (51:36):
Yes? Yes, I actually do. Oh my god, goosebumps. Thank
you for that question, because you know I could. I
could ask this myself, but you never. Really That's what
coaching is good, when you get somebody else's you know,
somebody to ask you a question that really like.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Oh, Katy, this has been a wonderful conversation. If people
want to reach out to you to see if I
you could help them out, is there a website they
should go to or how do they contact you?
Speaker 4 (52:04):
You know the best way is to follow on Instagram
and just DM me.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
Katya.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Really appreciate you joining us tonight and telling us about
your Jouas de Vive, about your focus on perimenopause and
menopausal females, about your advice to men and becoming a
board certified clinical sexologist. Fascinating conversation and all the best.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much. Special for
the last question. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
That's our show for todight, everybody. I guess we should
all ask ourselves do we have Jouis de vive? Thanks
for joining us.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
I remind you I'm on every Monday through Friday at
six o'clock on nine to sixty am. You can streamer
online at TRIPLEW SAGA nine sixty do on My podcasts
and videos go up on my website Brian Crimey dot
com and on social media, my YouTube channel and podcast servers.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
As soon as the radio show goes.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
To air, I get to interview and meet some absolutely
fascinating people from politics to economics, to development, to business.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
To clinical sexology. Unbelievable. Stay with us.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
We'll be back on Monday, Good Nay.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Stream us live at SAGA nine sixty am dot Ca.
The views expressed in the following program are those of
the participants and do not necessarily reflect the views of
Saga nine sixty am or its management.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Brian Crumby Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
While Well, I've got a really interesting conversation for you
tonight and a fascinating individual to introduce you.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Kathya Stern is her name. She is amazing.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
She's got a really interesting background, and she's just launched
a new business and a new career as a clinical
sexologist and she's doing her PhD in clinical sexology.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
She has had a really interesting background.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
She's been an executive coach, she's been a fitness competitor,
she's been a Miss Canada, missus Canada, a beauty contestant.
She's been an author, two time best selling author of
some books. She's got master's degrees, and now she's going
for a PhD in clinical sexology and she's specializing in
(01:03):
perrymenopausal women.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
So it's gonna be an interesting conversation tonight, Katya.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Well, thank you, thank you, Brian, thanks for having me.
It's always an interesting conversation with you. Well, I have
your experience and expertise you've heard of You've heard it all.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I'm sure I've had a fasting conversation with you previously
about your executive coaching business and your your you know,
confidence building and uh and really sort of commitment to
fitness and health and beauty, et cetera. But now why
the change to become a clinical sexologist and what is
a clinical sexologist? And your board certified I understand, which
(01:41):
is a different designation.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Right, Brian, let me start with this. Uh, that woman
that you talked to before that was perimenopausal and the
woman you're talking to right now it is postmenopausal. This
is like two different and this information is important for
men to know because men don't understand what's happening to
(02:05):
a women's body. Well, women don't understand what's happening too.
We don't understand what's happening to ourselves. So that's that's
kind of you know, it became my personal story and
why I'm doing this now, and it's just because people
need to know.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
So okay, so tell me again. This is tell me
your personal story. Then if you could start.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Off the personal story is that I think one of
the reasons I started working with women in the empowerment's
space is because when I was about twenty one, I
was here in Toronto, my doing my first degree in
psychology York University, and my then boyfriend's mother, she was
(02:53):
about forty five forty six, and she had some issues
with her husband was apparently cheated on her and she
found out. So she started, she you know, started taking
care of herself, like started holding on to that youth,
starting what's called like self care. And what did she do?
(03:18):
She did She quit salt, eating salt, sugar, meat, fish, eggs,
like everything. So her digestis system gave up her hermono
sastem and his system was obviously uh and chaous. And
(03:39):
I remember the conversation where she said, you know, cut
of food is talking to me. And so he took
her to her hospital because anyways, a lot of issues.
And one day they called me and it's a mom.
(04:03):
So I drove there. I get there, I see police car,
I see ambulance and everything. So she jumped from the
twelfth floor and I walked into the room when the
police was done with their investigation, I walked into the room.
The first thing I see is the perfectly laid out
(04:25):
white blows black pants and hair of heels. So she
did it intentionally, and that whole thing impacted my life
huge that that was a big impact, and I knew
I would have to do everything in my power to
(04:49):
basically not become that woman, not be as young and
as alive and as what's the word just me throughout
my whole life. So I started looking for ways to
do that through my fitness, through my psychologists degree and
(05:13):
health coaching and hormonal like, I have a lot of knowledge.
What having all that knowledge did not help me? I
mean it did, of course, of course it did, but
I still struggled. I still going through that. So now
(05:34):
I know that was a perimenopause, when her body was changing,
when her herman's book were changing. On top of it,
this intimacy issue with her husband, all of that, and
she just you know, got lost. And that's what happens
to a lot of women. And when this was happening
to me, obviously not to this extent, but to when
(05:56):
I felt like, who is this woman looking back at me?
Even though the knowledge is there and understanding is there,
the experience is there, I still I felt, you know,
I felt alone, I felt hopeless.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I felt you felt that way during perimenopause or at
that time when your boyfriend's mother committed suicide.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
No, no, no, that was like twenty years forward when
I was going through that.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So so we tell me a little bit about it,
because you know you were you were a fitness competitor.
You I've seen pictures, You've shared pictures with me. You
know you were a bikini model I think in your forties. Uh.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And you were a competitor for missus Canada as as
a mom.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
And and you know obviously you know, extremely attractive, very confident,
well educated, intelligent, successful and real estate investor, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Why can it be?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Why would you be challenged by perimenopause.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
That's the thing. That's the thing, and still happens, no
matter how extraorin your your life, how great your life is,
it's still inside. It's still it can hit you like
the women. And I didn't know that. I thought, if
I have managed that external part, and I was trying hard.
(07:18):
I mean I did enjoy it, Don't get me wrong.
I loved every minute of fitness competition and everything. But
I think this was one of the ways of being
relatable and visible, like forever. This was a part of that,
Like I, I don't want to disappear, because that's what
women are telling me. And that's like the the the
(07:39):
common symptoms of the experimental disappear. They feel the disappear.
They feel invisible. I feel like I'm not I'm not
seen by my husband, by my partner, by this society.
Like I was relatable. I was. I was, and and
I worked with professionally accomplished women because I know the pain. Uh,
(08:01):
when you see them the outside is like, oh, so
many achievements, so many things, you've done, so many you know,
children and husbands you've raised and and all of a sudden,
you're like, inside you still feel invisible. You know, there's
a test. I think I described this in my book
that you weren't wow. Uh when you walk on the
(08:22):
street and they are construction workers, and if they whistle
when you walk by them, you still got it. But
if they kind of you know, don't react, then you're done.
So it's not a joke. You actually feel like you
just hot woman. Uh. And I was always hot yeah,
(08:42):
and and which is not always a good thing, but
it's it's it's another another conversation. Uh, And all of
a sudden you feel invisible, like hello, I'm here. You
always want to almost want to scream, I'm here.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I want to be whistled Am you still want to
be whistled at?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
We can call this external validation, and I can, you know,
talk to you about how Oh no, I'm independent. I
don't care about other people's opinions. And that's in the
perfect world. But the world is not perfect. Otherwise, you know,
Instagram or any social media would not have even existed because
we do care about other people. It's just the extent
(09:30):
of how impacted we are with that. But we do care.
Women care, men care. Otherwise a lot of things that
we do we wouldn't be doing, like, for example, who
would need a ferrari if you were on an island
with with nobody looking at you or any other like
even any other achievements that we do. We do care
about people's opinion. We're social creatures, so it's one of
(09:54):
the that of course it's about like external validation, but
inside inside you feel for all your the We were
conditioned to think, to think and feel that my role
as a woman, as I'm a mother, so give birth
and build a family, or build a business or be
(10:17):
successful or whatever we were, you know, conditioned to think
and all of a sudden, like you turn usually starts
around forty forty two, And you've done all those beautiful things,
But what have you done for you? What have you
done for your own fun, for your own pleasure?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I work with women and and they're like, I don't
even know what what my pleasure is. I don't even know,
Like I know my pleasure is what gives me pleasure
in a physical sense, because there's a disconnect with the
body a lot of women, and this idea of like
lose weight as the main request. Yeah, I want to
(11:00):
lose weight, but what's what's deeper. I want to lose
weight because I don't feel comfortable with myself. I feel
like I'm not myself anymore. I obviously that impacts intimacy
because I'm not loving my body. I'm asking to turn
of delight. That's like the best I turn the light.
You can still have intimate relationship, but sometimes it's it's
(11:23):
I'm so disgusted with my body. That's what I get
from women that I can't even have sex. And and
men think it's something about them that they just don't
not want it they're not this and it with women,
it's it's it's much simple. And sometimes you know, she
forgot to shave her legs. That's why she doesn't have intimacy.
(11:44):
But going back to pleasure, like, there's such a disconnect
that we were not taught to to to experience pleasure.
We were taught to get married. And you know they
all do the check mark. Yeah, but whoever taught us
how to orgasm? For example? Like how that it's supposed
(12:06):
to do a certain way to relax or to give in,
to submit even like and this professional accomplished woman when
I said submission to me, submit, No, No, I'm you know,
I have to be strong. I have to be independent
that I can't submit to man. No, it's like submission
(12:26):
to life, which is again it's it's a huge topic.
But being this strong doesn't always work. Because when I
asked him, okay, so you strong, you were independent, you're soul.
You know, I can be on my own. I don't
need a relationship. It has and so how is it
working for you?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
So I don't I catch you. I don't understand. Please
help me. So is it just getting old? Is it
gaining weight?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Is it something about the change of the hormones because
of menopause.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
What is it that is the challenge?
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Oh, that's a beautiful bouquet, all of it, all of it,
because it's all of the things are related. Because she
was too busy dealing with other people, all the family,
the careers, and she let it go. Now boom show,
(13:25):
it's up forty not loving your body to all, disconnect
with the body, feeling undesirable and having no desire, the
intimacy issues, any other issues come up because like she's
not in love with herself.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
So you said that you had a personal experience.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
You related the personal experience with your boyfriend's mother who
committed suicide when she was going through this in her forties.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Did you go through this?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Did you start not loving your body anymore? Did you
go through this perimenopausal aging issues? I did it, Yeah,
I did, even after being a brag, even after being
a fitness even after writing two books, even after all
the success that you've had.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
And it doesn't matter. That's that's the thing that was
a surprise to me. That's why my like, I want
to help, and I'm helping those women who have it
all together, who whose world looks perfect, from the outside
and and they they can't talk to anybody about this.
You don't talk to your girlfriends about this because or
(14:32):
your mother, your sisters. Everything you gonna would you're gonna
be told that like you you spoil Brad, you know
you you just you know, take your break, go shopping
or something like that. That's the advice we get from yeah, like, yeah,
go go have fun, go have some wine. But no,
(14:55):
it's much deeper. It gets dipping it and it's well,
my everything came together when I was going through this.
My I had to get a hyperplacement, so physically I
couldn't walk. Mentally I felt like, okay, I'm really I'm
(15:18):
losing it. Imagine living with the identity that you're beautiful woman,
and all of a sudden you were like formally.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Hot, formally hot, Patya, I got to tell you something.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You're not formally hot. You're still very extremely hot.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Thank you. Feeling better now, I'm out of it, so
I'm on the other side so I can talk about this.
But when the the hormones, when the estrogen estra, estrogen
is going down, and estrogen is a hormone of nurture,
and we were nurturing everybody else. Like my father died
(15:59):
when I was thirty and I was seven months pregnant
when he died. So from that point on, I took
care of my my daughter, my my mother, my younger brother,
the whole family. So I was nurturing, nurturing and nurturing
(16:19):
and nurturing. And then I realized when I started competing
with this forty two. So I guess that's when like
I started feeling that, Okay, I'm losing, I'm losing. I
gotta have it back. I got it. I gotta get
into the body. I got to start working out and working.
I wasn't enough for me, but to be that visible.
(16:41):
I did the fitness competition, this, this, but after again
that that. I guess the point was about forty six
forty seven, and and I lost a lot of money
at that time. Like I didn't lose it, but somebody
fuck me up, my best friend and a partner. So
(17:05):
that the the the menopause, the.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
So you know, many age too many aged too, men
put on weight, they go gray, they get old.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Why is it so much different? Is it? Is it?
Is it the estrogen? Is it the hormones? What is it?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
It's both It's just men have a different men have
a different different values, different value of themselves. We would
just condition differently, right, So if I'm not, if I
can't become a mother. Uh So basically that's it. I'm done,
you know, That's that's what we're feeling.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Give birth any more, You're done.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Seriously, the thoughts are there. Like when I was studying sexology,
I remember one of the movie, like, we did a
lot of training on physical aspects and on desire, on attraction,
and there was a movie that about the scientific experiments
(18:09):
on the attraction how men are attracted to women, and
one of the like there was a facial structure, the
there was the scent, there was the how a woman walks,
like everything measured scientifically, and one of the things was
that men are attracted to women who are of the leading.
(18:33):
And I'm sitting there, okay, I'm not out leading anymore.
What's up? Where's my attraction? How? And that that's it
became even more interesting to me what happens to women
after that? Because science they only took measures of women
who were obviously before the meno paused, they still the
(18:56):
other leading and everything, And I'm like, okay, so there's
no attraction between men and women. After I don't abolate.
That's it done.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
You know, I've never known when someone's ovulating. How would
you even know when someone's ovulating?
Speaker 4 (19:10):
There's a time and uh men apparently so they did
studies on this. Men feel it, right, it's certain scent pheromones,
and some some send men feel it. And just a
few days of the of the months, and the eggs
are growing, and and and and women just exude that sexuality.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
They exude that sexuality and and so they.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Open to to pro create. That's what a man of
feeling it.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Your work is, your work now is is what it's
to help women deal with the changes in in their
bodies and their lives and their mental attitude with perimenopause
and menopause.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Even though ironically eighty percent and now even more of
my private clients a man.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
You can specialize in menopause and perimenopause. Well, we're going
to take a break for some messages and come back
in just two minutes and ask you a little bit
more about maybe both your work with women as well
as your work with men. Stay with usaid, Well, this
is going to be an interesting conversation. Tonight with a
Katchius Stern, a board certified clinical sexologist.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Never heard of that before. Fascinating. Stay with us, everyone
back in two.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Minutes stream us live at SAGA nine six am dot CA.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Welcome back, everyone to the Bran Crime Radio Hour. I've
got Kattius Stern with us today.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
She is a board certified clinical sexologist and she specializes,
she says, in perimenopausal and menopausal females, though eighty percent
of her business from a coaching standpoint and a clinical
standpoint is actually with men So I think this is
going to me be an interesting conversation as we go
into both.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
But let's come back if we could catch it, because
you've had this.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You know, you've got master's degrees, you've written two books,
you've been a beauty pageant contestant, a fitness contestant, real
estate investor.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
When and how did you become a clinical sexologist? Like?
Did you have to go to school?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
You said you're doing a PhD in it? Where does
one do a PhD in sexology?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
In clinical sexology?
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Yes, of course I went back to school and I
studied the International Institute of Clinical Sexologist in my Sexology
in Miami and I passed all my exams and I
actually specialized in hypnosis for sexuality. That's my major in
(22:01):
hypnosis hypnosis. Okay, yeah, yeah, because you can go you
can get to the root of the problem through the
cognitive methods. So basically it's like a prefrontal car tax.
But it's only all our I don't want to say problems,
(22:21):
but the root cause of our perceived problems is in
the subconscious, which is like were ruled by the subconscious
which is ninety or whatever five percent, and you can't
get too deep to figure that out through through the
prefrontal cortex, through just talking through cognitive behavioral therapy. So
(22:42):
it's it's much fast and more effected to go through
to surpass the brain that part that's you know, the
new part of the brain that logical and go right
into the limbic system into into the subconscious. That's what
the belief system where it's formed when we were much younger,
(23:03):
that's what.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
So what you get people lie down on the couch
and you hold the watch up on top of them
and you and you you take them into hypnosis.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Fascinating.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
So so you how long does this course take?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I did it over a year, just a little bit
over a year. And now in my that's what the
recruds that obviously for the PhD. So my my PhD
is I was contemplating on this a lot because I
really enjoy working with men, because it's guess executive coach.
(23:40):
I worked with high end like a type of personality,
business men who have difficulties opening up who's there, who
are very controlling, who can't talk about any to anybody
about anything, especially intimate issues. So I guess they trust
me because I'm lawyer, or I don't know. They like
(24:02):
talking to me because I'm a good looking woman, I'm
fun and they open up and really they have nobody
to go to. So if women have each other, you know,
we can talk about these things, like in a group.
We can talk to girlfriends. Guys can talk about this
only if they're like I was with this. Yeah, they
can brag about their achievements. But once there's a problem,
(24:25):
they can really, you know, talk to another guy. You know,
if I have this problem, this issue, or or or
I have some perversions or desires or some fantasies, and
really they want to explore that. And sometimes they just
(24:45):
feel like there's something wrong with them. And that's where
you know they doctor to me and in a couple
of sessions, so there's nothing wrong with me. You know,
you're in all other guys that have their.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
What do you do? You just you just chat with them?
Do you? But I'm on a couch, like do you
just chat with like? What do you do?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
It depends? It doesn't have most of them are online actually,
but you can still do hypnosis. You can do like
inner work through you know, as I said, surprising that
and it's a it's a mixed mixed, it's a lot
of it. As a conversation. There are questions that people,
(25:29):
you know, avoid. You can't ask yourself a question that's
really hurtful that you know somewhere down deep you know
the answer to, but you can't take it to the
surface and really answer.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Say, these are successful men what in their forties fifties
and uh and and they're having challenges with something to
do with sex and they want to just chat about it.
And what are some of this What are the typical
questions you get? And you said perversions and things like this,
So what are the what are the typical questions or
issues that you would be addressing with men.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
You know, with my man, guilt is number one thing.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Guilt because of.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Guilt, because there's it's either he's married and really loving
his wife. But once more so, how almost every man
I talked to describes like he wants to have he
(26:29):
wants to explore. That's the word they use it. They
want to explore. They want to try, let's say some
kind of other relationship with with I don't know, treasts,
or maybe like some sex on the I don't know,
on the roof, on the play, like something different. And
but usually he can't do this with the woman who
(26:53):
is like the mother of his five children, and obviously
she's precious to him and he really loves sure, but
he wants more out of life, you know, So that's
this guilt. And or or he's like in a new
relationship and he doesn't know how to navigate that. And yeah,
(27:15):
I had an interesting case. Say he's about sixty something,
very successful man and in the relationship with a younger girl,
and he was like, is she is she after my money?
That's another thing with a lot of they come to
me for intimacy issues, but there's like things like like this,
(27:36):
like is she really for my money. So it's we've
been working with them for for a year. So now
I called him to just to see how things are doing,
how things are with him, and he's he tells, me, guys, yeah,
I'm the most I'm the happiest man alive by he's
(28:02):
with this girl. Because in the beginning he was like,
oh manymy she's after my money. It's hard to understand.
But we reframed his belief system, like every little belief
that had he holds before we had to reframe it.
Not every but a lot of them. And I, you know,
(28:23):
I work with belief system basically, that's what I do.
So because he's like, he's somebody's telling me a story
and so sure of it. And I give a different
approach to this, and which is watch.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
So you've got an older man who's got a younger
girlfriend who read is after his money.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
How did you change his belief system to what? Did
you change his belief system to reality?
Speaker 4 (28:49):
You know, because we are we all delusional, all of us.
We're living in a fantasy world. We see it as
we want to see it, but there's a flip side
to it, or there's a side side to it.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
So what's the flip side to it? That she is
after his money, but so what.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
You after her youth and beauty? How are you feeling?
Let's concentrate. Concentrate, not on what your friends are telling you,
because like he's oh, my friends are all telling you again,
how true is that that those friends know anything about
your feelings about your life? So he let it go.
(29:32):
He listened to himself and we focused on how he
feels about himself. And he walks into the whatever, into
the room, into the event, and he's like, oh my god,
I feel like on top of the world.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Because he's got this beautiful young lady beside him.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Yeah, yeah, and she's amazing, Like she's really not And
now it's over yeah, over here that they're together and
it's a loving relationship. It's beautiful. He's enjoying. And I said,
do you want to continue feeling that? It's like, yeah,
how important is that to you to feel like that?
Oh my god? Very important?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
And I work with the female, what would she say?
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Oh shit, I can't because that would be a conflict
for interest. So he never introduced me to her.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Okay, what about these men that that that that that
want to explore what do you tell them If they're
happily married, they're in love with their wives, but they
can't do their exploration with.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
The mother of the children. But they want.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
These things, what do you tell them?
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Very often they also the root cause of their exploration
is not really uh, it's deeper. They really longing some
kind of satisfaction. A lot of those men are not satisfied,
and they're looking for this type of sex as a
(30:57):
way of again like externally day in a way. So
we need to get to the root cause of like
why you're having this desire uh in the first place.
And maybe that's not of an desire to like go
go out there, and maybe that's just he doesn't feel
the attention, he doesn't feel the respect from a woman,
(31:19):
his woman, and and really the first thing is to
improve his own self confidence because maybe he's losing it
with you know, with age, and very often they still
want to they want to do something different just to
kind of prove them themselves. He's still got it. So
there's a lot of yeah, still alive because with with
(31:40):
his woman, he's not feeling it. It's just you know,
new novelty is a big thing in sex. Why do
why people are addicted to poor. Yeah, and that's another
problem is that's where do you get your education? Where
where do we get our sex education form? Right? Like
(32:03):
where else? And it's not really, it's not real. It's
not real. It's it's all fake. It's not it's and
we're trying to be like those people like it's hard
onto like hours and it's just not true. Or she
like she's enjoying this intercourse so much, which is again
(32:23):
not true. A lot of women don't even enjoy intercourse.
We're doing this for you, guys. And also like the
orgasm that only about twenty percent of women can have
an orgasm with just from penetration alone. All other seventy
(32:44):
percent or more. I would say, I need some kind
of additional stimulation, like literal stimulation too, But we have
to fake it because you just you don't have an
education and you and that's where I come in, like I.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Think it's cause don't tell me that that's terrible. We're
gonna take a break, it.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Is terrible and come back in just two minutes.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Katias Stern, and we're gonna switch for men, and we're
gonna switch and chat a little bit about women which
is her main focus. Stay with us if everyone would
be back in just two minutes with Katia Stern, a
clinical Board certified clinical sexologist.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Fascinating to stay with this, I won't back.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Into no radio, No problem. Stream is live on SAGA
nine sixty am dot c A.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Welcome back everyone to the Bran Crime your radio hour.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Well, this is an interesting conversation tonight with Katias Stern,
who is a board certified clinical sexologist.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
She is completing her PhD. She's done the course working.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
I guess she's now writing her thesis. And you're focusing
on menopausal, perimenopausal and menopause females.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
So let's go back to that.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
So you know what I have heard is that hormone
replacement is UH is one of the keys weight loss UH,
you know, still dressing young, et cetera. So you know
what's your advice to females that are going through perimenopause
or or menopause.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Well, first of all, whatever advice is for educational purposes
only by my number one advice to get more education
actually from me from other from me more on like
sex side sexology, but medical advice obviously from a specialist
(34:44):
pelvic floor specialist or your or BG y N or
your your doctor, and doctors have different opinions, and unfortunately
doctors are not well trained on this. Thanks to to
(35:04):
some people who are now creating attention to this, this
problem of menopause, perimenopause, it's just picking up. I was
just visiting the National National Menopause Show here in Toronto
a couple of weeks ago, where I'm at wonderful people
(35:27):
and people who like finally taking it seriously. So HRT is,
there's a lot of controversy about it, and I am
all up for it, and there's a lot of bad
research about like the myths that it's causing cancer, it
(35:53):
has some other problems, so do your own research.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
So what I've been told is that there were, you know,
some studies a decade or two ago that said that
hormone replacement therapy caused cancer, and they have been completely debunked,
that they were bad studies, and that the current thinking
is that that hormone replacement is very positive.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
What's what's your understanding?
Speaker 4 (36:18):
Right? Right? Absolutely, there's much more research now in all
like modern age, really advanced doctors are advocating for it.
But obviously there's time and place, like, everybody is still different,
so it can be a general advice. So everybody get
on the hr T. No, but estra dial and progesterone
(36:39):
are two main things. There's a controversy on the testosterone
as well, because it's you know a lot of women
do testosterone as a cream or as a patch or
and and that more controversy now on the testosterone. My
(37:00):
doctor is all up for it, and she's she's like,
I've seen he's seen results, not not. He knows the
symptoms and he knows the after, you know, the life
after those hormones.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
So what are the symptoms of low testosterone? And what
would take in testosterone?
Speaker 4 (37:23):
Well, at first and most important for me is a sexologist,
A lowly beautile Yeah, women like I don't want anything.
I don't. It's just a low T stosterone on top
of everything else obviously stressed body images issues and stuff
like that. But but yeah and big and it's you
(37:46):
know what I mean. Because again I'm not a medical professional.
I can't recommend it, but I I know it.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Works, okay, and so what else would you reckon? Man?
Speaker 4 (38:01):
Definitely look into the estrogen and progesterone, okay, And then.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
You commented about weight and self confidence and self awareness
and things like that.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
What do you you know what? So, yeah, so let's
let's start from from from the bottom. If you don't
do the like this is a basic stuff. You can't avoid.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
Having a proper nutrition, proper sleep, proper self care, and
fitness obviously, and and uh, fitness for me is uh.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Weight training, progressive overloading, not pulatists, not politis much that
type of stuff. And then though it sounds very cute
maybe for younger girls like my daughter is still okay
with machipilatus, but not for more experienced ladies, because there's
(39:04):
a thing like oustoporosis. We need our bones to be strong.
There are things like circupina, which is a loss of
muscles that just doesn't hold the body anymore. So definitely
weight training.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
It's like weight training, getting weight room. Huh getting into
a weight room?
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Really yeah, run run into a weight room. Of course,
there's no way around it. So you know what women
are doing to themselves. So we're doing this to ourselves.
I'm part of that group too, not in the in
the terms of you know, in this regard, but overall,
(39:41):
like we're trying to find a way out, like I'll
find my own way. I don't waste your time. Listen
to a few people who look the way you would
want to look, and not just look, but have that
energy you know there. I always love this expression because
(40:03):
the French they have this way of expressing this. It's
a the joy of life if you if you look
at the woman, she has that in her, follow her, like,
listen to her, what she does, what she especially she's trained,
and so many things like like me, like and I've
lived this, you know, I live in bredge this whole thing.
(40:27):
So find that person and follow her advice okes advice
doesn't have to be her, but just find your person
and don't over complicate. And this this there's no way out,
like there's no other way.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
So diet, nutrition, diet with training.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Protein protein, women under eat protein. Don't go too crazy
with protein because as we age, protein is is uh
can you know add to a But when especially everything
is in cycles, everything is in steps. Right if we're
(41:08):
talking about like okay, I wake up now, I want
to change my life, so that the first thing you
do is you uptake your protein. And protein we're talking
about Oh, so I need to buy protein shakes. Like,
that's the first question I get. What kind of protein
shakes do I get?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
No?
Speaker 4 (41:23):
Protein is real food. I know we get bombarded with
with all the fake foods that with all these sport
nutrition and stuff. No, the protein is is organic chicken breast,
it's organic eggs, it's organic beef. It's it's turkey, it's
uh white fish. And that's it. This are your proteins
(41:48):
and carbs. Your carbs are healthy carbs. It's potatoes are good,
good carbs. They I don't eat rice. Some people are
okay with rice. There's all this vegetables for fiber. There's
lots of water. So yeah, it's like to me, it's basic, right,
(42:13):
No processed food is good. Alcohol and perimenopause and menopause
don't work. Don't go together, even though like this is
the moment, but we'll finally, you know, God, sit down
and have a drink because we have achieved it all.
We've done it all. We've raised everybody and we needed
to raise and now we can sit down and relax.
(42:34):
It's a glass of bordeaux, Okay, A glass is okay.
I had a glass of bordeau last night because I
just closed the deal. And the biggest real estate deal
all my life. Thanks God, I finally closed it. You know,
the Toronto real estate market is now, so it took
me a while. But I did have a glass of Brudeaux,
but not too much. No, just a good wine, a
(42:57):
little better of it, or if you want to like more,
or hard liquor maybe some tequila. Clean drink. But when
you wake up in the morning after all that social
drinking and it's just no, it's it's it's still poison.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Phil Talxing, you talked about men having, you know, issues
about wanting to explore and wanting to have affairs and
not being satisfied. Is that what females are asking about?
Or No, they're just frustrated with perimenopause and menopause.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Well, they're frustrated mostly mostly with themselves. I look at
the mirror, I don't recognize that woman. Who is that
woman looking back at me? I don't know her because
the forty years previous, she knew what she was doing
and cuku she was. She was building all those things
(43:48):
that she was building. Yeah, the career, the kids, did everything,
and all of a sudden she doesn't know what she
is anymore so, and she's she's not in the body
that she wanted to have. She's not like she's hating herself.
(44:09):
And when you're in this position of like hating, uh,
no matter how much money you have, what desire, you
can't undress. You're too ashamed of yourself. And again that's
a paradox because in all the other areas you you
were perceived as a as an absolutely successful woman, but
(44:30):
you don't feel like you don't feel that because you
hate yourself in the mirror. That's the biggest issue. And
of course there's sleep problems and they're hot flashes and
then and then you feel like, okay, this is like
you're losing all of that. All these women womenly things
(44:51):
and who am I in the next life? And that's
what women also want to explore. They're not happy with
their partners. They're not I mean, I left my partner
at this time. And you know who that is? Amazing,
amazing man like perfect six for something, wealthy, well known, celebrity,
(45:19):
very good looking, like he's an ideal man.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
But then why do you live?
Speaker 4 (45:24):
Don't ask me, not that I have no regrets. Whatever
happened had to happen. And you know, I'm grateful to
him and myself. We're still very good friends, but something
is happening. It's like we want to find that something new,
like that's our novelty. Like am I done as a woman?
(45:49):
I am I done as a woman because we're like
I can't have kids anymore, so that's done. But am
I still.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
So?
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Like we were talking that men are looking for a
way to kind of be acknowledged for who they are,
and they still they've still got it. Women go through
the same thing, the thing, right, but we are losing more.
We have more to lose. We are losing our looks,
like our perceived value. Like I hate to see that,
but that's the reality. Perceived value, right is having a
(46:26):
beauty having kids, Like as a career woman, Okay, well
any man could do that work kind of thing. But
those two things as being like the feminine thing nobody
else can do, and we'll lose them. It's like we're
losing ourselves. Plus, well we're too busy taking care of
everybody else. So yeah, I'm not in my best shape.
(46:50):
I was busy, And when I work with women, I'm like,
you have to forgive yourself or because we obviously beat
ourselves up.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
How could I?
Speaker 4 (47:01):
How could I? Why did I'm so stupid? And like
calling herself names and and here's here. She is a
successful woman who built businesses, built lives for other people,
and she's made her money and everything, and all of
a sudden she's like, Oh, I'm so stupid. Why did
I do that? Why did I eat so much? I
(47:22):
hate myself? I feel like a big stop and stop
and stop it. Let's stop. First thing is to acknowledge,
to become aware where you are at this moment. Yes,
it is what it is. You're this, You're that you,
this is where you are right now. But you got
(47:44):
to forgive yourself for the things you've done or haven't done.
And kind of I don't want to say start clean,
slight because it's not really clean. Because you've now it's amazing.
You have all this experience, you have those all this
expertise from life. Now you can only going forward. It's
only going to get better. And I guess this is
(48:05):
like my message to all the other women that it's
women who are not there yet. I'm fifty two now
and it's just starting. I really feel like it's starting
because I don't have those problems anymore, and even sex,
I'm not afraid to get pregnant where I don't want
to get pregnant, And that's men do understand, but women
(48:27):
live with that issue all their lives. So sometimes it's
it's not the man that it's just we have fear.
So but when men's sex is okay in out here
we go, you know, for women it's like what if
I'll have to live with this for the rest of
my life, So it's deeper. They are more women in
general feel more unsafe. Safety is a big issue for
(48:50):
women because we can be raped, we can be bitten
when not as you know, as powerful as strong physically, obviously,
it's live in in this in this unsafe space. So
for a woman to be relaxed in her sex life,
she has to be like totally safe. That's that's sexy.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
You know.
Speaker 4 (49:14):
The sexiest thing a man can say to a woman,
what do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (49:22):
I don't know, I want to hear it. What's the
sexiest woman?
Speaker 4 (49:27):
I'll take care of it. When a man takes care
of something some of the problems that a woman has,
and you can just submit to him and say, I'll
take care of it, honey, and you're like, really, you've used.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
This word submission or submit often. That's surprising.
Speaker 4 (49:50):
Yeah, submit doesn't doesn't mean you like let your your
all your powers go and then you become dependent submit.
This is is if very feminine thing. Actually it's when
woman is relaxed, when she does feel safe to submit.
And that's why I'm just gonna quickly touch on this
(50:12):
the bid sam. It can be very therapeutic in a
sense because that's where a woman who is very controlling,
who having is having difficulties submitting me meaning letting go,
losing control, which is like impossible in real life because
they all katy. If I lose control, that's it. Who's
(50:34):
going to pay my bills? And that's kind of yeah,
but that's life. But you're taking this whole thing into
your intimacy and that's where you're having issues because you
can't let go. You can't trust because you were hurt
obviously by by man. And I understand this. I I
I left my father, my child. He was becoming physically
(50:55):
abusive and I left him after me living with him
on the forty seven meters boat in Monaco with like
seven people serving me champagne and lobsters. And all that
glitten blum life. I left him with my daughter, three
year old daughter, with the key CARTI is the Mercedes
(51:19):
he gave me.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
And because you weren't safe.
Speaker 4 (51:22):
Yeah, yeah, And I left everything and it was nothing
was zero, like no money, nothing, and started, you know,
building my whole life up.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
Do you have Jois de Vive today?
Speaker 4 (51:36):
Yes? Yes, I actually do. Oh my god, goosebumps. Thank
you for that question, because you know I could. I
could ask this myself, but you never. Really That's what
coaching is good, when you get somebody else's you know,
somebody to ask you a question that really like.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Oh, Katy, this has been a wonderful conversation. If people
want to reach out to you to see if I
you could help them out, is there a website they
should go to or how do they contact you?
Speaker 4 (52:04):
You know the best way is to follow on Instagram
and just DM me.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
Katya.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Really appreciate you joining us tonight and telling us about
your Jouas de Vive, about your focus on perimenopause and
menopausal females, about your advice to men and becoming a
board certified clinical sexologist. Fascinating conversation and all the best.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much. Special for
the last question. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
That's our show for todight, everybody. I guess we should
all ask ourselves do we have Jouis de vive? Thanks
for joining us.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
I remind you I'm on every Monday through Friday at
six o'clock on nine to sixty am. You can streamer
online at TRIPLEW SAGA nine sixty do on My podcasts
and videos go up on my website Brian Crimey dot
com and on social media, my YouTube channel and podcast servers.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
As soon as the radio show goes.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
To air, I get to interview and meet some absolutely
fascinating people from politics to economics, to development, to business.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
To clinical sexology. Unbelievable. Stay with us.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
We'll be back on Monday, Good Nay.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Stream us live at SAGA nine sixty am dot Ca.
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