EP 619 | Preparing the Heart for Holiday Joy

As the holidays are right around the corner, now is the time to prepare. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hello everyone, Thank you so much for joining me for
Daily Sparker Doctor Angela. I'm your host, Doctor Angela Buttschester.
You guys know who I am, and you know what
I like to do on my shows. Say it with me.
I want to enlighten, inspire and empower you to become
your best self. Now. Scripture reminds us of the tongue.
It's a small thing that makes grand speeches, but a

(00:29):
tiny spark can set a great forest on a fire.
And that's what we want to do today. We want
to get you fired up about the topic. We'll be
talking about, preparing the heart for holiday joy. So you
know what I'm gonna tell you to do. Go get comfy,
get cozy, get your coffee or get your tea because

(00:49):
we are about to get started. Hello everyone, I thank
you so much for joining me here on Daily Spark
with Doctor Angela. I am so glad that you are here. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Now can you believe that we are allready here in
this stage of the year. As we start to move

(01:13):
deeper into the month of November, the season reminds us
that joy doesn't just happen, it's cultivated. So today's episode
is all about preparing the heart for holiday joy. The
holidays are approaching, November is all most here, and while

(01:37):
the lights and decoration and the celebration are wonderful, the
real joy, the real joy, begins inside a heart prepared spiritually.
A heart prepared emotionally and mentally creates the space for gratitude,

(01:57):
for peace and connects in a way that allows you
to flourish. So pour your favorite warm drink, get comfy,
get cozy, and let's explore how to step into this
season with intention, with faith and a joyful heart. Joy

(02:21):
begins with intention. Joy is not just the automatic result
of a season. It's the result of preparation. Now, I
tell my counseling clients this as well. Family doesn't just happen.

(02:43):
You have to cultivate it. You have to prepare it.
You have to help it grow into the best version
that it could be. What does that mean? The same
way that your parents helped guide you to become the
best version of you, you too have to take the

(03:05):
best pieces of information that you have and pour it
into your children so that they too will be the
best version of them. You are the gardener of the
seed that you are now taking care of your child. Well,
joy is the same thing. It must be cultivated, It

(03:29):
must be poured into, It must be watered and tended.
Psalm one hundred and eighteen, verse twenty four reminds us
this way, this is the day that the Lord has made.
Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Every day
offers an opportunity to set our hearts toward joy, even

(03:54):
before the holiday bustle begins. Now most people agree that
after November first, we all start to kind of shift
into holiday mode. Be it that you celebrate the holiday
of Thanksgiving, or you simply choose to do Sunday dinners.

(04:20):
Is it lunch with the girls, or once a year
the fellas get together and take an autumn trip. Whatever
it is, that's a holiday, and with that comes the
anticipation and the preparation. It's a time of happiness and joy.

(04:42):
Then eventually December comes and we all celebrate Christmas. Now
we know that nothing is going to stop us from
celebrating the birth of our Savior, but we can sometimes
get a little caught up in the hustle and bustle
of the season. We see the signs that start to

(05:05):
remind us that Jesus is the reason for this season
that help put some context to what we're doing. So
before we start to be overwhelmed with making sure that
we have a perfect turkey, that our green bean casserole
is just so this year, and that our pies look wonderful.

(05:28):
Are you doing that little pinch crust this year? It's
gonna be so flaky. I know it's wonderful the things
that we pass down from generation to generation, learning how
to make that flaky crust that grandmother makes, or perhaps

(05:50):
your aunt's favorite tea and lemon drink. I know it's
your mother meat loaf, or perhaps the way dad makes
his barbecue sauce, whatever it is. This season, we start

(06:12):
to really come together as family and friend because this
is a season that allows us a moment to take
a beat, take an extra breath, and to reflect. So
let's get started. I want you to during this season

(06:33):
to start to set your intention every day, decide to
focus on joy rather than stress. One thing we know
is going to come is someone is going to try
to stress you out. Someone is going to complain, someone
is going to murmur, someone is going to grumble. Someone

(06:54):
is going to do something that is just going to
put you on edge. Unfortunately, there's a lot going on,
and because there's a lot going on, some people are
going to be on edge, and the way they get
off of the edge is by bringing you over there,
closer to them. Right, So, how can we make sure

(07:19):
that they don't bring you too far and that you
are able to stand your ground. It is by setting
your intention each and every day. And what is that intention?
To be filled with more joy, To focus on the
positive and not the negative. To be stress free as
much as possible, to be stress free, not to be

(07:42):
stressed out, To be focused on the positive and not
the negative. It is possible. I know. I can hear
someone going but you don't understand. Yeah I do, I
really do. And in that stressful moment, you're going to
take a breath and figure out where is the good
And with that good, that good is going to keep

(08:04):
you empowered so that you can get through those bumps,
the troublesome parts, the cues that have kept you stress.
You can do it, Yeah you can. Another thing that
I want you to focus on is recognizing that joy
is a choice, not a circumstance. So in every circumstance

(08:29):
you can choose joy. See where I'm going with that.
So instead of thinking that joy is a circumstance and
you must choose how to react, flip it. Recognize that
joy is the choice. So no matter what circumstance you

(08:51):
are in, joy is what you are choosing. You are
stuck on the sevent ten, you are in traffic on
the five, you're on the ninety one, you're on the
sixty four, it doesn't matter. You're stuck. You're in the tunnel,
you're on the bridge. Oh my heavens, are you trying
to really and truly get there right now? And the

(09:15):
storm is coming? What are you doing right? I know
someone's asking you that you knew it was going to
rain today. Why did he take the motorcycle? I know,
I know, but it's going to be okay. It is
because that's the circumstance. So what is your choice? Joy?
You are happy that they were able to make it

(09:37):
home before it started raining, or perhaps it did start raining,
but guess what, they were only a block from the house,
so it's okay. They made it. They were safe. I
know you have to travel and it's going to be crazy,
and you know that the airport is going to be
incredibly packed. But guess what, you were so smart and
you chose to leave a day early so that just

(10:01):
in case your flight was canceled or rescheduled, you could
choose joy because it doesn't impact your arrival day because
as long as you get there within the next two days,
you're gonna be fine because you planned for that. And
the same thing with returning back to home. Right, So,

(10:24):
if you needed to check out of the hotel on Wednesday,
and your flight is on Wednesday, but you need to
be back in the office on Monday, that's great because
you know why, if the flight gets canceled on Wednesday
and you don't get to leave that airport until Thursday,
you're still okay. You really are. I mean, of course,

(10:47):
it's a bummer because you had to, you know, have
that extended layover, but you're still not late for Monday.
See what I mean. It's all about choosing the joy
in understanding that you control your emotions and your emotions
don't control you. That's how you're able to operate from

(11:12):
your intention. I don't know if some of you have
experienced this or not, but people used to tell me
all the way, Doctor Angela there's no way that you're
this happy. There's no way that you are actually functioning
in this space. Why not. It's a choice. The same
way that you're choosing not to, I am choosing to

(11:34):
the same way that you're choosing to only look at
the negative, I am choosing to look at the positive. Oh,
I see the negative. It's kind of like walking through
a house that's dishoveled. Of course, you see the laundry everywhere,
you see the stuff that needs to be picked up.
You see it, of course you do. But what I

(11:56):
can also choose to focus on is that today this
person vacuumed. Today, this person dusted off their coffee table.
Today they were able to turn on the lights and
not sit in the darkness because they're dealing with depression.

(12:18):
So today it's a beautiful day. So no, I'm not
going to focus on the fact that there is still
laundry on the floor, because today they are making positive
forward progress. So choice, it's a beautiful thing. And how
do we know that because when someone takes our choices away,

(12:41):
we definitely feel that and we don't appreciate it when
people do that. So I want you to recognize that
your choice is always joy. Another thing that you can
do is have what we call spiritual preparation, and in
that spiritual preparation, you align your heart with God's peace.

(13:05):
Go through your Bible and write down those scriptures that
mean something to you, that bring peace, happiness and joy
to you. No, sure, you could google it and it
could give you a list of scripture, but those are
the ones that are like for everyone. There may be
some that are specifically for you that it may not

(13:27):
make sense for me, but it does for you. Those
are the ones that I want you to really write down,
those that are so personal for you that when you
hear it, you automatically get goosebumps, or you start the
smile or laugh or kind of giggle a little to yourself.
Those are the ones that help you. Those are the

(13:49):
ones that get you to that place of joy. So
take a moment before you do that, take a really
deep breath in and let it out. Do that three times,
settle yourself, and then prepare your heart and mind. Lord
help me prepare my heart to receive your joy in

(14:12):
this season. And Lord, I thank you for the all
that you give me. It's simple, and I'm gonna always
remind you that a simple prayer will always win out.
It doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to
be Shakespearean. It could be simple, it could be easy,
and most importantly, it needs to be authentically you. Because

(14:36):
Scripture also reminds us that the Lord already knows your heart.
So if he knows that you would say thanks God, Amen,
and that was it, and he knows that that is
the most sincere, sincere prayer that you could say in
that moment, then that's going to be beautiful. But be

(14:59):
your author and take self. God knows who you are anyway.
You know, some of the things that we need to
remember to do is to clear our emotional clutter. And
I think I want to share just a few things
that we can do. But first we need to take

(15:20):
a very short break. We'll be back right after this

(15:42):
and we are back. Thank you so much for joining
me for Daily Spark with Doctor Angela. I'm your host,
Doctor Angela, but Chester. Today we are talking about preparing
the heart for holiday joy. Let's jump back into our conversation.
We are talking about clearing emotional clutter. The holidays can
bring up old memories, expectations, and even stress. Part of

(16:07):
preparing our heart is clearing the emotional clutter. I say
a forty three verses eighteen and nineteen says this, forget
the former things do not dwell in the past. See
I am doing a new thing. The beautiful thing about

(16:29):
the holidays is that it does bring friend and family together.
But we all have our stories to tell. Now I
must admit I'm a little spoiled in my family. We
all get along with each other, so we don't have
to worry about a holiday dinner where someone's gonna start

(16:51):
an argument or fight in the corner. There's no flipping
the tables or backing out and screeching down the road
to get away from someone. Though that may be true
for someone, that is a lived experience for someone, and

(17:11):
that can be a lot. And if that has been
your experience, I understand why the holiday season is stressful
for you. Or perhaps it's not everyone, and it's not
every holiday, it's only when a certain person comes to

(17:32):
visit when they are in town. Yep, I've heard those
stories too. So with that understanding, when we as a
part of those groups, we can try to take some
of the burden off of our hosts and hostesses. We
can try to be the best version of ourselves that

(17:55):
we can be, so that we bring our joy into
the space. So release past disappointments and focus on present moments.
Steer the conversations to where it needs to be, not
to where you don't want it to be. You know,

(18:18):
in order to have an argument, one must stay and argue.
So if we if someone brings up a conversation that
you don't want to have, respectfully declined to have it.
You know, this year we're focusing on the positive. We
know that you know those things have happened, but today

(18:41):
we want to we want to talk about these joys.
We're looking forward to these things, and this is what
we want to talk about today. And if the conversation
goes the other way, rightly excuse yourself and go where

(19:03):
the conversation is positive, release past disappointments and focus on
the present moment. We can also forgive where needed for
others and for ourselves. Now, you know that Uncle Joe
is set in his ways and he is never going

(19:24):
to apologize to you or his mama, so you might
as well just accept his not apology as an apology
for yourself. What do I mean by that? Understand that

(19:45):
he is consistent, that it wasn't personal, that he was consistent,
that he doesn't apologize to anybody, and that probably includes
God for what he has done. And because that's how
oh that person is, you can then say, you know
what they were being consistent, So let me be consistently

(20:07):
me and move on from this hurt. Lord, I give
you this pain and this suffering, and I accept your
joy and your peace in its place. I lay that
down so that I can move on and be the
person that you have called me to be. It doesn't
mean that you accept their action as gospel. It doesn't

(20:31):
mean that you put a stamp of approval on what
they did, but it does mean that you love yourself
much more than allowing yourself to continue to operate from
that place of pain. So forgive where needed, and sometimes
you might have to remind yourself that you forgave that
person because they can be so triggering. And if you

(20:57):
are the person who's the friend of that person and
you know that they're a triggering person personality, help them
this holiday season. If you are the friend of the
person who has been triggered, help them this season. Everybody,
let's step up our game this year. Let's be the

(21:19):
best version of ourselves. But let's also run some interference
when necessary, which leads to thing number three that you
can do. Limit comparisons to others. Celebrate your wins, celebrate
their wins as well. But no matter what, understand that

(21:43):
each and every joy is unique. Everyone's experience is an
experience and rightfully should be celebrated. You know, there are
a few people that come to mind that when I
think about their experience, part of the reason why they

(22:03):
are unhappy is because they thought they were better then
so and so. Yeah, they thought they were better than her.
Oh yeah, they thought they were better than them, and
they found out that they were not. Ooh, they are
in competition with that person over there and that family

(22:27):
member or that friend over there. Oh, yes they are.
But guess what, that family member of that friend has
no idea. And you know why, because they're not concentrating
on being in a competition. They're just living their lives.
And you are unhappy because you are comparing yourself to

(22:48):
someone who has been given different gifts and talents. They
are over there making apple sauce with their apples, some
stewed apples with a little cinnamon and that made but
a little bit of butter and jewe Oh it is delicious.
But you, darling, have oranges. You can't compare that. That's

(23:11):
not your recipe. You have the recipe to make something different.
You are going to be that touch of orange juice
that we add to the sweet potato pie. You are
going to be that touch of orange juice that we

(23:32):
add to the sweet tea. Yes, you have a different recipe.
And because you are a different recipe, that means that
there's a different vision for your life and what you're doing.
But you know who figured it out? Cherries. Cherries figured
out that they are called upon when they are needed.

(23:57):
That they never have to yell, They never have to boast,
they never have to force their way through. Why because
when they are needed, they are sought out. People will say,
but wait a minute, I need a cherry on top
of my sunday. I need a cherry on top of
my banana split. I need a cherry on top of this.

(24:19):
Where are the cherries? That is not perfect until you've
put that cherry on top. Cherry knows that they are special.
But they are special because they are a part of
the recipe, and that they couldn't be cherries all by
themselves unless there were other cherries in the mix. A cherry, sure,

(24:47):
a cherry is good, but cherries are amazing. Right. So
in understanding who you are and whose you are and
what you do is important, and that when it is
your time to shine, boo boop, there you go. Ooh,
that is awesome and amazing. That is understanding. How you

(25:11):
clear out the emotional clutter, stop trying to be something
that you were not called to be, and enjoy being
exactly who God created you to be. So, my dear sparker,
gratitude is the bridge between preparation and joy. The more

(25:35):
we notice God's goodness, the more naturally joy flows into
our lives. First, Thessalonians five eighteen says give thanks in
all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in
Christ Jesus. So when you go and reflect upon your

(25:58):
life when the holidays season circles back around next year,
you will know how to create a space for connection
instead of a space that is disconnected. Preparation isn't just
about the heart. It's about creating an environment where joy
can flourish, and this includes relationships. So prioritize your time

(26:25):
with loved ones, with family and friends who bring peace
and encouragement. Set healthy boundaries to avoid over commitment and stress.
Be intentional about the acts of kindness and service that
you do so that you bring joy into every aspect

(26:48):
of your life. And remember the holidays are not just
about what you receive. It is also about how your
heart contributes to the joy of others. Small gestures become
grand expressions, thoughtful conversation becomes memories in our distant tomorrows,

(27:14):
and presence plants the seed of lasting joy. Alrighty, everyone,
thank you so much for spending time with me here
today on Daily Spark with Doctor Angela. I hope that
I have once again enlightened, inspired, and empowered you as always.
May the Lord continue to shine his face upon you,

(27:35):
but you receive his grace and his mercy in all
that you do. Until next time, everyone, remember that you
you are blessed in the Lord. Have a great day everyone,
Bye bye,