Crossing the Abyss: The True Experience of a Magician - Truth & Shadow

In this episode, the conversation delves into the depths of the occult, exploring the lived experiences of a practicing magician, Nick. The discussion covers the transformative power of rituals, the psychological toll of magic, and the profound insights gained from near-death experiences. Nick shares his journey through various practices, the significance of intention, and the raw truths of working with non-physical intelligences. The episode challenges conventional beliefs about magic and spirituality, offering a candid look at the complexities of personal transformation and the mysteries that lie beyond the veil. In this conversation, the speaker delves into their experiences with meditation and the profound feelings associated with eclipses. They explore the intersection of magic and physiology, discussing how perception and reality can be altered through meditation. The dialogue also touches on the effects of light and the brain's interpretation of experiences, emphasizing that one does not need substances to achieve altered states of consciousness. The conversation concludes with reflections on the power of meditation and the potential to access deeper realities without the need for rituals.

Nick's website: https://linktr.ee/occultrejectsandfriends

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, everybody, it's me Cinderella Acts. You are listening to
the Fringe Radio Network. I know I was gonna tell them, Hey,
do you have the app? It's the best way to
listen to the Fringe radio Network. It's safe and you
don't have to log in to use it, and it
doesn't track you or trace you, and it sounds beautiful.

(00:27):
I know I was gonna tell him, How do you
get the app? Just go to fringe radionetwork dot com
right at the top of the page. I know, slippers,
we gotta keep cleaning these chimneys.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
You'd be surprised just the things you find. A looking.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Science describes the least of things, the least to what
some it is religion, magic, bows to the endless, and
everything the mystery.

Speaker 4 (01:44):
Yes, have you studied the engravings? They seem to have
some underlying significance.

Speaker 5 (01:51):
And of course here, for example, this one could be
interpreted as a warning venture too far, it seems to say,
and danger will descend you from it.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Boff.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
This type of books often contain little puzzles.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
This is your nautical lantern on the dangerous seas of darkness.
Let's push off from the placid shore of the status
quo and explore what's beyond the horizon. I am your host, BT,
and this is Truth and Shadow, your podcast of the supernatural.

(03:15):
Today we step through a door that doesn't swing open
for just anyone, A door that leads into a hidden
world of symbols, sigils, rituals, and currents that move just
beneath the surface of what we call reality. This isn't fiction.
This isn't a mere dramatization, and this isn't a sanitized

(03:38):
come to the Light testimonial meant to ease your conscience
or tie up the unknown with a Sunday School bow.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
This is real.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
You're about to hear a conversation with Nick Post of
the Occult Rejects, a man who didn't just study the
occult from the outside, but who lived it. A practicing
magician unbound by the dogmas of esoteric orders or sacret societies,
yet deeply immersed in the currents of ceremonial magic, symbolism,

(04:09):
and metaphysical operations. He speaks as someone still within the practice,
someone not seeking to condemn it in order to convert
you into it, but to pull back the veil and
let you see what it actually means to work with

(04:30):
forces most people pretend don't exist. Before we go any further,
this is your warning. What you're about to hear is
not safe, clean, and definitely not easy to digest. This
is not a Christian confession booth. This is not a
feel good ex occultist testimony where someone lights a candle

(04:54):
and walks into the arms of salvation. This is a
first hand transmission from and someone walking the winding path
of magic. Not for show, not for ego, but for transformation, exploration,
and often confrontation. This is the kind of knowledge you
don't get from reading a book or attending a week

(05:15):
in workshop. This is lived nosis. This is dirt under
the fingernails, psychic bruises, and initiations that don't always come
with a welcome party. In this episode, Nick and I
go deep, and I mean deep, into the lived experience
of the magician. We talk about what it means to

(05:36):
construct and deconstructor in a world through ritual. We talk
about intention, manifestation, initiation, and the raw truth of working
with non physical intelligences, some that feel ancient, some that
feel mechanical, and some that defy classification. Altogether, I think
is a part of an order. He's not wearing a row,

(05:59):
he's not selling a core. He is simply someone who
knows what it's like to be the ritual to enter
altered states, not just through drugs or fasting, but through
mental discipline, symbolic warfare, and energetic alignment with forces that
most people can't even name. We explore the layers of

(06:20):
identity and magicium a shed and sometimes create in order
to operate in this world while simultaneously walking in others.
We discuss how magic isn't about power for its own sake,
though power is certainly a side effect. It's about change,
real internal, irreversible change, the kind of change that pels

(06:40):
you apart, sell by sell, until you don't even recognize
who you were before. We also dig into the psychological
toll this work can take the shadow of integrestions, the
ego deaths, the moments where reality itself bends and you
have to decide whether to claim to consensus or step
full into the strange and unseen. This isn't Harry Potter,

(07:09):
This isn't Wicka one oh one, This isn't an Aleister
Crowley cosplay. This is about the real life, psychological, energetic,
and spiritual implications of operating as a magician in today's world,
outside of orders, outside of hierarchy, outside of the mainstream
of culture that has been polished for Instagram and sold

(07:31):
to the masses pretty little bows. This is what happens
when you actually go beyond the veil, when you say
yes to forces that will strip you of comfort and illusion,
when you make packs not for riches or revenge, but
to know yourself at levels most people are terrified to reach.

(07:53):
Nick brings something rare to the table, honesty, not just
about the highs, the visions, the weird scene chronicities, but
about the paranoia, the missteps, the psychic blowback. He walks
us through the operations of real magic, how rituals are structured,
how intentions are refined, how forces are summoned and dismissed,

(08:16):
and what happens when you don't close the circle properly.
This is information most people don't share, either because they
can't articulate it, or because they're afraid to admit just
how strange and unpredictable the work can become. So if

(08:42):
you're still listening, if something inside you is leaning forward
instead of pulling away, then you're ready ready to hear
the real thing, not the water down the gate, kept,
the candle scented version of the occult, but the raw
voice of someone living the path with eyes wide open,
shadows fully engaged. This is a rare opportunity to hear

(09:04):
from someone who doesn't just believe in magic, but who's
actively working it as a process of self transformation and
self revelation. Someone not trying to pull you in or
push you away, but to tell you the truth, plain
and unfiltered. So turned down the lights, set your mind

(09:27):
to receive, and prepare to walk into the unknown, because
once you hear what Nick has to say, you don't
get to forget it. I know that the bar of
normal is real.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
Blessing.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
All right, folks, get ready for one of those mind bending,
paradigm shifting conversations that I'll have you questioning everything you
thought you knew about life and death. Our guest today
didn't just brush up against the unknown, took the deep
dive into the abyss itself. We're talking near death experience,
not just your run of the mill white light an
Angels story. No, It's like they crossed over face darkness,

(10:39):
stared into the void, and came out the other side
with the perspective, the challenges, the fabric of reality. What
happens when you let go of everything, including your own soul?
And do you bring back from the journey? Joining us
is Nick from The Occult Rejects.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
Welcome back, man, Thank you very much, very happy to
be here. Time on my show too.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
That's right. We have a good time no matter where
we're talking.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
Yes, yes, yes, definitely good man.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
So we were talking about some of this stuff that
you dealt with, have dealt with being in a cult practice,
and man, you were talking about some of these, you know,
serious paradigm shifting experiences. I thought, we just want to
just start diving into something. You know, well, we'll begin
kind of let's begin skin deep, and then we'll just dig.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
A I'll try to give it like I guess, like
a little intro ground.

Speaker 6 (11:32):
Yeah, yeah, that you know, well, yeah, I do have
the show, The Occult Rejects. That's like a group of
probably close to eight to ten different individuals that we
will get together and do different panels on different topics.
But myself, you know, I do still consider myself an
ocultist and a magician. I don't do rituals as people
would probably think, and that was something that I was

(11:56):
into a lot in the past. I was a active
member and no longer a member of the Templar orient this.
I was in there for probably about five six years.
I did a few initiations left around COVID time, because
it's just certain things, you know, to me, it was
obvious that it was very far left minded situation. I

(12:17):
was able to deal with that. I had a few
people there that I could still learn from, and there
were still people there that kept that to themselves.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
So I didn't care, you know, as long as you're
not forcing it down my throat, right, you know.

Speaker 6 (12:28):
So you know, I did get some time out of
it that I did meet some people and learned from
them and learn different avenues to go. But at some point,
because of just them going to a certain direction and
me having my own experiences, I thought that place just
had nothing for me.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
And if anything, I.

Speaker 6 (12:43):
Thought, you know, and this is a thing that I
look at now and I stought to wonder. I don't
know if it's the organization itself, or if it's really
unfortunately the people that are joining there that just give
off the complete opposite idea of what magic is to me.
I was just like, this isn't isn't conducive to me,
Like my magical experience are going forward.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
So eventually I left.

Speaker 6 (13:07):
But you know, these magical experiences like what we were talking
about before, definitely.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Changed my life.

Speaker 6 (13:14):
Yeah, I believe it or not even before I get
into it, because we could get into some weird dark
stuff or ideas and stuff from this, But like believe
it or not, even after this experience, I've come to appreciate.
I guess some religions a little bit more per se
believe it or not, the Bible or like certain religious texts,

(13:34):
and I can definitely say that I actually find more
value in that.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
So I don't want people to think that actually, you know,
like oh, this guy's a Satanist us.

Speaker 6 (13:43):
I know a lot of the stuff that I started
to do when I started heavily getting into i'd say magic,
believe it or not, was me not in my opinion,
And I'll even say this too real quick. You know,
at one point I was very much in the person
who was making candles and talismans, and I'm trying to
do this and gain that and gain this. In my opinion,
after having a magical experience. Unfortunately, I think all that

(14:06):
is black magic. I think, unless I'm doing magic to
create a physical and now chemical change within my body
and soul, unfortunately, most of it is probably black magic.

Speaker 4 (14:17):
I mean, in my opinion.

Speaker 6 (14:28):
But when it came to magic, when I started doing
more of an inward thing and wanting to change myself
and actually just focus on having an experience with God,
you know, I did start to have different experiences and eventually,
you know, they did start to get like really weird.
And then I'll get into it now. One of the

(14:51):
first weird experiences I had before I believe I crossed
the Abyss.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
Was that.

Speaker 6 (14:59):
I was doing a rich I think if I remember correctly,
it was a Friday, it was probably a Friday night,
so more than likely it was probably two Venus, Venus
on Netsoc or Hath or all three really because they
all fit the same idea with cabalistic with the Hermetic kabala,
and that was my main thing. I really did structure
my stuff around the hermiticabala. And I was real big

(15:20):
with the lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram, the banishing
ritual of the hexagram, the invoking hexagram, ritual. I did
the star Ruby, I did rush, I did the middle pillar.
There was a lot of things I was experienced in
that stuff. I had even done rituals at the Oto
when I was there. I mean, nothing crazy, but you
know I had did you know stuff there, so I understood,

(15:42):
you know, I could do that stuff with my eyes closed.
So I think it was a Friday, and more than
likely I was probably like bringing in the net sock,
you know, like kind of the idea of love and
compassion from God. A lot of times when I would
actually start working cabalistically, like even though I'm saying venus
or net sock or hathor those might be like symbols

(16:06):
that I might be thinking of, but more than likely
I am actually just trying to tap into like in
the Kabbala, that would be a idea of God or
an expression of God in that sphere as well. And
for me it's like, well, if I'm trying to get
the best change, the most positive I'm alls is going
to the top guy, right, so I just trying to
skip everybody else and go to him. I started doing

(16:27):
that a lot more. It was more theological, where I
would just literally sometimes believe it or not, I would
do a ritual, banish off my area and I would
just legit pray to God and I would just ask
for the things that It was almost like confession and
then asking for help with believe it or not.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
As silly as so.

Speaker 6 (16:44):
I did do a lot of that, But on that
night I did do one thing different. I may not
be the first time, but if it wasn't the first time,
is maybe the second or third.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
You know.

Speaker 6 (16:55):
I ended up doing my ritual and then a lot
of times I did tons of meditation.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
So first off, I would do like a ritual bath.
Believe it or not, I'm going to admit it.

Speaker 6 (17:04):
Sometimes I would do a ritual bath and I would
meditate in there, and then I would set up the
ritual or i'd have my whole living room would be
all set up already. I'd have the altar out and
have everything I'm going to use. I would come out
of the bath. I would come in get dressed and
have like whatever I'm going to wear. Either I would
use a robe or I had the same clothes that
I use all the time when I did a ritual,
and I would wear that put that stuff on, do

(17:27):
a lesson state what I'm going to do.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
I talk to God, ask him for you know, whatever,
look over me.

Speaker 6 (17:31):
You know a couple of the things where you kind
of just like call upon God and state what you're doing.
Then I would banish everything with the Pentagram ritual, which
is eliminating all earthly influences. Then I go into the
Hexagram ritual and then eliminate all influences by planetary stuff.
And then sometimes maybe I would actually invoke this fear

(17:53):
or the idea of God, or sometimes I could invoke
hathor Toth, Horus, archangels I would invoke and when and
when you invoke them.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
That's just one thing I want to mention too.

Speaker 6 (18:04):
This is a difference between invoking and evoking if you're
going to invoke something, and I'm not saying you have
to either, because again eventually I'll say, I don't even
think you need the rituals. But if you are doing that,
that's something that you should actually probably aspire to because
you're letting it into your area, hanging out with you. Yes,
that's why you put them in a triangle and evoke

(18:26):
them so they're not next to you. So there's difference
invoke they're bring your bringing them into your surroundings into
your area evoke. You'd actually be trapping them into something
else and was like ghostbusters, you know, putting them in
the lowption.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
So so I would yes.

Speaker 6 (18:40):
So then I would sometimes maybe just invoke God and
then talk to God, or sometimes if I wanted to
get specific with certain things, then I would start invoking
maybe the planetary energy or a certain.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
God or hath Or because I would look at going
with the fear.

Speaker 6 (18:54):
And then when I did this, I decided to do
the middle pillar ritual, which is kind of like hitting
the five shock. I've out of seven chakras going down
your body and you would repeat them. They would have
certain names. I can't remember elsa dial like that, but
it would normally be a Hebrew and you would go
down vibrate them a certain amount of times. It could

(19:14):
be like three times, four times, or five times, where
it has to be the same time for each year,
keep it the same thing. And I decided to do
it in Egyptian. So more than likely, I'm assuming I
was probably working with Hathor thinking.

Speaker 4 (19:27):
About how why did I go with the Egyptian little pillar?
Probably because of that.

Speaker 6 (19:31):
So I did that, and as you're doing that, you're
even supposed to visualize certain things. So it's like for me,
it's a heavy meditation because it helps me to get
focused and during my practices.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
It's as boring as it is.

Speaker 6 (19:46):
I mean, I would even suggest it for people daily
life meditation.

Speaker 4 (19:51):
That's highly suggested.

Speaker 6 (19:52):
If you actually want to get into magic, you have
to learn how to meditate and learn how to visualize
stuff with your eyes closed. That ritual was very helpful
with that because you have to start and visualizing all
these things coming out. Wrapping around, spiraling around definitely keep
you busy. And I was doing that, and you know,
I'm going down the spheres and I think I might
have done it a few times.

Speaker 4 (20:11):
I think you're normally only supposed to do it once
or twice, but I.

Speaker 6 (20:13):
Was just kind of in it, and then like I
brought it down and it was almost as if it
was like one of those things at the carnival where
you have that huge hammer and you hit the thing
and it it.

Speaker 4 (20:23):
Hit brings the bell right.

Speaker 6 (20:25):
It was like that happened, like when I brought it
down and focused and like did whatever I did, and
like the bottom chockra was like something shot down and
then shot straight up to my head and like everything
went white and then like but pure white, and then
all of a sudden, it just looked like like I
stepped into like an HDTV. But then I had no

(20:46):
body though. I was just hovering and visualizing things. And
at that point, you know, I would like to say maybe.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
It was Egypt.

Speaker 6 (20:55):
Who knows where the hell it was, who knows if
it was even real, But what I was seeing is
that I felt like or I'm yessing well, when I
was in a triangular looking room but like one of
the walls was missing, and it was as if I
was like looking out of the desert, but there was
like a triangle open in the room that I was in.

(21:16):
You see, it looked like brick brick ceiling and brick walls,
and like I see the sand but like the weirdest thing.
And this is for every experience I ever had. The
colors are nothing like what I experienced here with my
eyes open.

Speaker 4 (21:31):
It is vibrant.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
It is like almost as if the colors glow or
have a burn to them, or they're like a fire
or a laser. It can be very grainy, which is
I thought was kind of interesting because like there's times
when I was like, Yo, that's like dried clay.

Speaker 4 (21:47):
And then you start thinking about.

Speaker 6 (21:48):
Like the Hebrews and the column it's like eat out
of clay, bringing it to life. And it's like, is
that they're talking about, you know, just very weird because
it does look very almost like grainy gumby sometimes if
you remember that show, it looks very weird. And I
remember seeing like that, and it was like I was

(22:09):
like almost like I was just hovering and moving around
like kind of like looking around everything and visualizing the
scene that I had. And then and this is another thing.
Every time I start to think about myself, the thing ends.
So I think that's something to think of. By the
time when you get done. I started kind of like

(22:31):
again moving around, kind of visualizing things, looking out kind
of out into the sands. I could totally see it
definitely look like a desert. And then I'm like thinking, like, well,
what do why look like? Where am I thinking about myself?
So then like I'm thinking I have to like turn
around to see myself. But I mean I don't know
how that's possible, you know what I'm saying, Like, But

(22:52):
so like I turn around and there's like something there,
like actually like this, you know, like an Egyptian like deity.

Speaker 4 (22:58):
But I don't I couldn't tell.

Speaker 6 (23:00):
Again if it was alive, if it was a stone carving,
because everything just looked like this grainy like stone like
and I sword and I looked at it, and I
was like, all right, that's weird. I'm like thinking to myself,
and then all of a sudden, I just came out,
you know. And again it is from my experiences going forward,
I start talking about other stuff.

Speaker 4 (23:18):
You'll see every time I start thinking about self.

Speaker 6 (23:20):
That I think is the problem, is that I disconnected
myself from the experience I'm having because I myself and
I've removed everything else from it.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
So I came out of that and I was like, yo,
what was that?

Speaker 6 (23:32):
Because I I don't know how long that was, you know,
I don't know like it was it a split second
for me?

Speaker 4 (23:40):
Was it?

Speaker 6 (23:40):
Like, you know, because I felt like a few minutes
really honestly for you know, what my experience was. And
again it was just like I was like, I've never
seen anything like that, Like it was almost more realistic
to me than like like this vision. And I was like,

(24:02):
all right, I was like, maybe that was just like
some weird deep meditative statement.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
I tacked into it somebody.

Speaker 6 (24:08):
You know, and it's like almost, I'll be totally honest
with you, and there's other things that come up that
the next one I'll get into.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
I admit that's scared.

Speaker 6 (24:16):
So like, I do even think there was times where
I would even just try to rationalize and just kind
of like put it down as not even being that much,
because it's like, if you want to start acknowledging this stuff,
you have to start to like almost be like, you know,
maybe the way I thought life is a reality is
a lie.

Speaker 4 (24:32):
You know that's too hard, you.

Speaker 6 (24:34):
Know, I small little chunks, But if you start like
thinking about like spiritual and science that you might experience
and be like, now I know there's lies, that's kind
of hard to handle. Not like all the TV might
be telling me lies, Like you experience something, now you
know you're being lied to. That's a lot harder to
deal with.

Speaker 4 (24:51):
You know. Knowing and having faith the is two different
things to me.

Speaker 6 (24:55):
So so like, yeah, I kind of just I guess
like brush the I do think if I remember correctly,
that probably because a lot of times when I had
weird experiences, it would have even kind of push off
my ritual stuff when I would just stick more to meditating,
which is probably actually down the road, probably worse and
probably what led to having my experience, you know, my

(25:16):
magical experiences, because I do think like all you really
need to do is meditate, and I did consistently just
keep doing that anyway, I started doing that, but I
would do like more basic things, but I always wanted
to keep like meditation, and I would do a lot
of chakra work, and I do believe that had a
lot to do with it, because when I get into
like the actual crossing the abyss and the black son,

(25:38):
O have to bring up the third eye chakra.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
But I do believe that, Like.

Speaker 6 (25:43):
Again, it's something that I was big into believe it,
or I was focusing on chakras and meditating on chakras.
So I'm just assuming whatever I did must have led
me to my experience. I don't think it was probably useless,
So I do want to at least mention that I
did focus on that as well. I do believe those
things exist. I do believe you can feel them, So.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
That is something that I did focus on.

Speaker 6 (26:07):
So like I might have gone into more of chakra work,
and you know, I just got into a lot more
of meditating.

Speaker 4 (26:14):
And then there was one night.

Speaker 6 (26:17):
When I was like, yeah, I'm just going to meditate
and just chill out. I'm not going to do any
ritual work. And I was like, I'll just focus on
my chakras.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Again.

Speaker 6 (26:26):
I was trying to stay away from ritual work, so
like I would kind of just go up and down
my body a lot and just try to focus on
each one and feel, you know, let it spin or
it kind of feels like it's spinning. Just keep going
and then going like go down, go up, and just
see that there's a smooth transition or whatever.

Speaker 4 (26:44):
You know. That's all I knew really what to do,
just from other things that I've read. So I was
just doing that over and over again.

Speaker 6 (26:51):
And I was like, let me quit the third eye
one because I can hold them for a while too
if I want to. So like I was holding it
all my third I was like, it's like I feel
like I could put pressure on it.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
It was almost like.

Speaker 6 (27:05):
If I if I start to almost cross go cross
eye with my eyes and look up towards my pineal glend,
it almost feels like I can create a pressure on it,
and uh I was doing that and just trying to
push it hard, and I started. Now I'm sitting in
the living room met it, you know, uh, in a

(27:26):
chair with a straight back with my hands on my lap.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
That's the god pose. You have to sit there straight
and not move.

Speaker 6 (27:32):
And I had one candle it and it was probably
about six feet across from me and maybe even fall
they maybe not even that far maybe, Like so I'm
doing that and like all of a sudden, I start
seeing like flashing in my eyeballs, you know, you know,
if your pose and light lights went on, you'd start seeing,
you know, And like I'm in the living room. I

(27:52):
was like, oh, maybe it was like cars outside, nothing
out there. The blinds were closed anyway. Then uh, I
start doing it again. I go back into my chakra stuff.
And it probably even took me ten to fifteen minutes
to get back to where it was because I did
feel like I could feel the pressure intensifying. So I
was like, I know I'm doing something at least, So
I was like, let me go back. I'll go back

(28:12):
to doing it, and it happens again, and now I'm like, yo,
is it my air condition? I'm like, no, it's not
even on, because I'm thinking, is my air condition of
blowing on the candle thing? Now that could be the
light in the room. I go back to doing it again,
and like I'm like focusing, and you know, I get
to the spot and I'm like pushing hard and I

(28:33):
start seeing the flickering, but I don't stop, and I
kind of hold it a little bit more and I'm
like kind of like I'm focusing on what I'm doing,
and I'm realizing, like as I'm pushing hard, it almost
seems like the light sucks the crazy.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
So I'm like, am I doing something in my head
or what? And I open up my eyes and like I.

Speaker 6 (28:48):
See the candle and it does look like it's going
kind of crazy. No way, man. So I walk over
towards this thing and I'm like looking down at it
and I'm like, yeah, like I'm like thinking, I'm like,
don't even like tell me I'm actually like the flame.
So then I actually I keep my eyes open and

(29:09):
I just kind of focus and try to do what
I was doing, and I made them flicker and go out,
and that scared the living out of me because like,
at that point, you have to be like, Okay, I've
been living a life. We can do this, because according
to TV and everything else, that's only superheroes, So like,

(29:30):
how is that possible? That freaked me the fuck out.
I literally pretty much put out the candle. I don't
know if I was dressed at anything or whatever, and
I pretty much just laid down in bed. I didn't
even tell my wife nothing because she was already asleep,
and I was just like, Yo, I'm going to try
to pretend this didn't happen. I swear to God, this's
exactly how the night ended. I was like, that is

(29:52):
just freaking weird. And I remember even I was like, Yo.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
That's yo.

Speaker 6 (29:56):
And the crazy thing is is that this was like
all around COVID time, or prior to COVID was like
when COVID started getting real crazy, that even went back
to smoking weed, so like I wasn't even stoned. I
was sober when all this stuff was happening as well,
so I can't even blame it. I'm like, oh, I
smoked the blunt or something like, I wasn't smoking wheed
or anything.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
Yeah, right, I don't, you know, I don't.

Speaker 6 (30:19):
I always say I don't advocate like using psychedelics either.
I mean, it's just it's a cheap code for sure,
but I don't promote magic, so you know, it definitely
wasn't that I knew I was like a sober mind.
So it's like, you know, unless like I'm like losing it,
you know, did I imagine that?

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Or it's like it was just like really weird.

Speaker 6 (30:37):
And then like it kind of weirded me out enough
to where I was like maybe I shouldn't, like I
don't look around for a while, and then.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
I actually don't.

Speaker 6 (30:46):
Remember what I what I did, but it was probably
like within a month I had another experience. I'm just
trying to think of like where I went with my
magical stuff. I might have still maybe focused on meditating,
but just different things, Like I may not have focused
on the chakras. A lot of times when I would meditate,
I would kind of move energy up and down my body,
but I'm not actually pinpointing chakras.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
I'm just trying to just move energy. I think I
may have done that more and.

Speaker 6 (31:13):
I went to, uh, I want to go into meditation,
and I actually have like somebody doing artwork for like
the image that I'm going to get into now Mario
from Samolok Studies is trying to recreate an image that
I see constantly from this point on too. I probably

(31:36):
had after this, I had probably about two more experiences
and I stopped for a while, and then like the
second year of the Occult Rejects, I'll admit it around
with magic twice in the second second year, I needed
some inspiration and I needed some passion, and I needed
just you know, to make it happens around with magic,
and I crossed the abyss and uh, you know, so

(31:59):
like but all those times that I've done that since then,
there is a common scene and then a common physical
experience that it's like clockwork that will always happen before
I cross.

Speaker 4 (32:14):
And this is what I'm getting into.

Speaker 6 (32:16):
I'm sitting there, and I guess at some point I
must start thinking about my pineal gland, because it gets
this is where it seems to It definitely has something
to do with I'm sitting there and it's black. You know,
like you know, people meditate or people don't meditate. You

(32:37):
understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain people don't. Yeah,
like you you can close your eyes and you can
go into meditation, and you'll find yourself like it is,
to my opinion, darker than it would normally be dark,
because it's just like I don't know, I just feel
like when you're meditating, you kind of do get darker visuals.

Speaker 4 (32:55):
So now it would normally be like pretty dark for me.

Speaker 6 (32:58):
Again, a lot of times when I go to meditate,
I'll even when I start to try to like visualize
maybe drawing things, I guess maybe my background would just
go dark anyway for me trying to even make it easier.
Who knows, you know what I'm getting at, But it
would look like it's black. It would look like it's
real black. Like I'm meditating it it is deep black,
and like it even gets darker all of a sudden.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
It looks like.

Speaker 6 (33:20):
As if I've said, either you're spilling paint or oil,
or if like you know, oil was coming up from
the ground, and or if you were like looking down
on like a black table and like you're blue on
it and like dust blew away, and then like you
saw the black black underneath and you're like.

Speaker 4 (33:37):
Oh, that's really dark.

Speaker 6 (33:40):
It literally looks like in this really dark dark black
within the black start opening up and it almost even
starts getting like bright vibrant rainbow colors around the edge,
almost like an oil slick when you see it in
the street, you know what I'm saying, Like when you
see like almost that rainbows often like the water in streets,

(34:01):
and you kind of see like that kind of like
around the edges, it starts to get like real dark,
and then you see this one little pinpoint of like
a dot of light and it's like so white and
like bright. It's like a needlehead that's like glowing. If

(34:21):
I focus onto my pineal gland. When I when I
see that, as silly as it is, it's like almost
it will like locks on or if I focus onto it,
I can hold it. If I'm not like focusing on
my pineal gland, it will like come and go, and
it's almost like it's that I almost like try to
catching it from something.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
It's like really weird.

Speaker 6 (34:40):
But when I focus on the pineal gland, it's almost
like I catch onto it, and then it starts to
come a little bit closer and like it starts to
look like this is like so hard to explain, but
do you remember back in the day when we had
those little those those that you could play at those
you would hit the thing and it would move another slide,
and it was like images with all these different slides

(35:02):
in it to make it look treaty, really like layered.
It looks like the burning dot looks like it's like
it's in clouds or something. You see layered these layered
like curves and circles and stuff to where it looks
like it would be like the outside of clouds or something,
and it looks like it's burning, and it starts to

(35:25):
get closer, and it's like getting like a white ball,
and then like you start, I would start almost starts
looking like explosions like around the outside of it, because
like you know how I said, it looked like clouds,
and now it starts to look like colors, but you
still see like this layered shapes that like look like

(35:46):
neither outlines of clouds, explosions or what I've even said,
which is why I have the roses around my eclipse
on my logo, and I think I'm going to claim
right now, I think that's what Crowley's talking about. Sometimes
when he brings up rose, it looks like rose bursts
are actually blooming around this white dot that's like turning
into an eclipse. It's very much if anybody ever saw

(36:09):
David Lynch's Twin Peaks season three, when he's showing you
the nuclear bomb, my opinion, that is him just doing
his thing and over drama, you know, dramatizing someone crossing
the abyss for ten minutes of just you know, this
explosion and everything.

Speaker 4 (36:22):
You know, that's David Lynch's style.

Speaker 6 (36:24):
But it's very much like you're just starting to see
all this like chaos and explosions, and there's this white
dot that like starts to like turn into an eclipse.
And then after the explosions go away, you start to
see like these lines coming out of it. And I
will be honest, it's only four different colors and they

(36:45):
are kind of like in the Cardinal Directions. It's not
it's not angled, but it is curved and it starts
to look.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Like it is spinning, so you can get an idea
what I might be seeing that I just want to
do it.

Speaker 7 (37:00):
You will start to see that and it will be red, green, blue,
and purple the only colors I really see, and it
starts spinning out of it in like these real fine
burning lines, and it almost starts to look like in
my opinion, I think this is actually I want to
get into it too much because it would be a
whole other thing.

Speaker 6 (37:20):
But like I do think when you start to cross
the abyss, you're riding the light in your eyes back
up into your head, and at this point, I do
think you will start seeing the spiraling and it almost
looks like kind of like a camera lens.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
How it screws closed.

Speaker 6 (37:36):
It's if you were to like maybe see like the
screw parts like glowing like those edges. You start to
see that, and your pupil screws close so like it
would be doing the same thing as a camera lens.
Actually you start seeing that with those lines, and then
you know at this point, sometime around this time, I

(37:58):
will start getting physical feelings. And whenever I've crossed the abyss,
I've either been sitting up in the chair with my
back against a straight back chair or I've just been
laying down in bed, And when this starts to happen,
I will start feeling in the bottom of my feet

(38:19):
like a like a sensation, and it almost starts to
feel like it starts to rise. The way I can
explain it and hopefully people like even see like even
some of the symbolism I think that is used for
experiences I think is used, you know, in symbolism a lot,

(38:40):
and sometimes I may not be wrong, but sometimes there's
something a little bit deeper to it. Now, when it
starts to feel like I have this energy going through me,
at the same time as it's rising up, will also
feel like whatever it's rolls past is no longer in
existence as well. It's like to the point where it's
like my legs are gone, you know, as it's going
on up. Like the way it feels when it first

(39:03):
starts going up you would be is if you like,
one of the ways I try to explain is if
you were to lay down on the beach, if you
had your legs out, you were laying flat on the ground,
and let's say the water came up, you know, and
breaks and goes up on the sand. And I don't
know any other way to explain it, but like, let's
say if you're like twel off the bottom of your
feet and your hollow and the water came up and

(39:23):
instead of breaking around you actually just flowed through your
body and you will literally feel like it's almost like
a flowing sensation and vibrate or another thing that I
honestly I noticed probably the second or third time because
it felt like just a little bit more intense to me,
and I've even said it on shows. It will start

(39:47):
to go up, it will feel kind of like, you know,
almost like the water again, and then you know, eventually
what eventually happens, goes up throughout my whole body, It
goes up into my head and then eventually on the
back of my head.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
Funny thing is in the same spot that they put
the yamaka.

Speaker 6 (40:01):
It feels like I can like literally feel myself like
slip the fuck out. But when that happens, and when
I start getting close to slipping out, it all all
of a sudden, it just feels like damn, and I
burst into like a thousand butterflies. It's like I just
spread apart and I'm just vibrating and like fluttering. So
like again, I'm not trying to diminish like the symbol

(40:23):
of the butterfly, but like what if people are using
that actually because it's the symbol of a feeling they
experienced crossing the abyss, they actually have a lot more
to do with the experience of death, I think, and rebirth,
which is exactly with butterfly.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
Is you know, catapular and the butterfly.

Speaker 6 (40:39):
Uh so I have like felt that, and then with
the vision, all of that's going on with the vision,
and then at one point it starts to look like
and this is the part that I have Mario designing
the eclipse is basically an eclipse, and I think maybe
the colors are gone and all of a sudden it

(41:01):
starts to look like and there's a couple of different
ways I can kind of explain it. One way I
think is like if you were to be standing like
maybe at a train station or in a subway, and
you're in the middle platform and.

Speaker 4 (41:11):
There's two cars both coming down the same way, we're.

Speaker 6 (41:16):
Gonna have the eclipse, you know, all like the spiraling
kind of but like like more of black and white
in that color, and then like out of it it
starts to look like almost like stage cars going past you.
But like what it is is that you're seeing the windows,
the windows like on the on the subway or on

(41:38):
a stage car, seeing these different windows that look like
cellophane too, which is what I really do question want
of Delray and even John Lennon they talk about cellophane skies.
I mean, to me, it looks just like you're seeing
like snet square but whatever, you know, just pretty much

(42:00):
the same squares shapes going by of like cellophane visions.
I don't know if it's past present. I don't know
where the hell it is, but there has been like
and I've gone close enough to them to look in
it to see, like you know, but you start getting like,
all of a sudden, all these different visions start just
coming down and the eclipse starts getting like brighter and brighter. Now,

(42:23):
I've had times where I've been interested in so I've
gone close and almost like kind of veered towards one,
and it was almost like I was even telling myself
again like kind of turn and look. And I looked
in and to me, I was like, this is either
like World War three or it's Arizona. I can't tell.
So if I have the option to even touch this,

(42:45):
I don't want to because I don't know where. I'm
not trying to fall into a nuclear fall out if
that's an option, I don't know where I'm going, you
know what I'm saying, I don't.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
Know that doesn't look good.

Speaker 6 (42:56):
And I think after that, like one of those times,
I think, after that, I just came out of it.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
But so I start seeing these things.

Speaker 6 (43:04):
Go down, and if I just keep which is interesting,
if I just focus on the light and I really
don't get too preoccupied on the things going, they start
to go and then all of a sudden, the black
part inside inside the eclipse. You know, you have the
white and then you have the black. I wonder if
there's a way I could show this, and I don't
have anything with me, but.

Speaker 4 (43:25):
It would be as if you had like this was
the white all.

Speaker 6 (43:30):
Whatever, and then you have this as the ecliptic part,
Like it's like it starts to rise up like that,
and then you see this.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
Part is just now the whole white circle.

Speaker 6 (43:45):
And as soon as this like separates completely from it, BAM,
somewhere completely different. There's been times where it actually looks
like you're floating around and out of space.

Speaker 4 (44:00):
And then that's when that happens.

Speaker 6 (44:02):
That BAM is when you slip out the back of
your head and it literally.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
Feels like.

Speaker 6 (44:16):
There's no hate, there's no fear, there's no anxiety. It
is just literally all you feel after all falls off
of you. Is like this feeling of like love but
magnified by like a thousand that I've never experienced here
on earth.

Speaker 4 (44:32):
You know. It's greater than any drug, any feeling.

Speaker 6 (44:36):
I mean, nothing compares to that experience, unfortunately, or those
experiences that I had, but it is this immense feeling
of that, like I am just in love with existing
and I have like almost no sense of self and
I am just part of like a vision and I'm
just going with it. It literally starts to feel like

(44:59):
that I actually spread out, like even as I start
to come out the back of my head, it almost
feels like I'm even like being pulled out in old
directions as well, and you just like become one with everything,
and it's all these different crazy colors.

Speaker 4 (45:12):
I mean, you know what it was weird.

Speaker 6 (45:15):
It's like that NASA shows you, you know.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
And I have always said I do think NASA is
actually just totally a cult. It's just ciphered him.

Speaker 6 (45:31):
But uh yeah, So I I had that experience and
then I came out of it and I was like
pretty like yo, I had no idea what that was
because I mean even the visuals again, like I said,
like those visuals were so like real, Like it literally

(45:52):
was like, yo, I just had a movie played in
my head, like you know, even with the you know,
the eclipse.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
And the things coming.

Speaker 6 (45:58):
But like when I had the physical feeling, I was
just like I don't know, like it kind of took
me away for a while. And then I started to like,
all right, I'm going to get back into meditation. And
then I went to go do like a meditation and
it was almost like without even trying, as soon as

(46:18):
it started to get like quiet in my mind, the
blackness would show up and I'd see the dot again,
and then it almost would be basically what I'm getting
at is, it's like it almost started coming up with
that's not even my intentions anymore, and it's like starting

(46:38):
to happen, and I think I had let myself go.
I think doubt howm I was like, we'll go for
it again, and that was pretty intense, and then it
was within like another day or two like I did it.
After the second time, I even didn't physically feel right.

(47:00):
My vision was getting a little weird in my right eye,
my pupils were my one pupil was dilated full millimeters
bigger than the other one.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
So there was a problem.

Speaker 6 (47:12):
Like I was even blowing out one of my eyes,
which I actually do think might actually just be a
side effect of that because.

Speaker 4 (47:16):
Like technically, if you want to get into the.

Speaker 6 (47:19):
Whole a on of Horace or who Horace was, I mean,
he fights and he fights, so both eyes would actually
be in fight and light modif I was to unyoke them,
you know, dilate one and pin the other. I mean
I am getting flight and fight one at the same time. Uh,
So I had that going so like I knew something
was probably weird. I would start feeling like an overcharged battery.

(47:43):
So like the last time I ended up doing it,
ended up putting me into the hospital.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
Well, I put myself into the hospital because I actually.

Speaker 6 (47:48):
Didn't know what was wrong with me anymore. Actually it
was like, yo, it's something wrong, Like I just something's off.
And again like this was very much due to it
started to seem very easy for me to just slip
into that state without even me trying, and that that

(48:09):
actually believe it or not, Like and this had made
me one that like when you hear about people traveling
with blood. Now, one thing I do want to say,
and I hate to burst people's bubbles, but unless you're
going to IV blood, you are not getting anything out
of it. If you drink it, maybe iron poisoning, that's
about it. You are your body, your stomach will not

(48:30):
use any of that. But I will say when they
gave me that, man, I was like, oh, I felt
so much better, and I was going the next day.
I was there for three days and basically they were like,
you got some weird going on with the hemoglobin. We
don't know what that's about, and we think you have migraines.
I'm like, no, thanks, that's I feel great now. Thanks,

(48:52):
I feel safe. You guys don't know what was wrong
with me. Neither do I.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
You know what.

Speaker 6 (48:58):
They were like, they were like, yo, yeah, they're like, oh,
you're gonna have to go see a die doctor.

Speaker 4 (49:02):
Though they're like you know, they're like.

Speaker 6 (49:03):
We you know, we don't specialize in that, but they're like,
there's obviously something wrong, like even why it was there,
it still was noticeable. And I got an appointment for
the doctor, the opt out whatever the eye doctor two
weeks after that, and when I went she even still
saw a difference, but she put it down as me
in two millimeters bigger. The hospital said four, but that
was within two weeks, so it probably just went down.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
But she even saw that, and I had said.

Speaker 6 (49:29):
I came out and told her I'm sitting in there,
and I was like, listen, I said, I don't want
to like weird you own or anything. I said, but
I am into the occults. I mean, you know it's
ceremonial magic. And I said, I do around magic. I said,
is it possible to actually like kind of start like
looking up into your head or almost using the site
going back into your eye?

Speaker 4 (49:50):
I don't know what was making me think that.

Speaker 6 (49:53):
And she's like, well, she's like I guess, but she's
like not really. She's like heh. And she's like, let
me show you how your eyes sight where works, and
like she drew out like the lens and like shows
like the reflection on the lens. And then like I
lifted up my arm and showed up my filmic tattoo
and I said, oh, just like that right, And she

(50:14):
looks at my arm and she's like, I even got
an eyeball on. Then she looks at my arm and
she's like wow, She's like that's really weird. And she's like, listen,
she's looking at me too, Like you can tell she's
eyeing me up now because like I guess somehow that
quught her. It's very almost the same thing, dude, Like
she was like looking and she's like damn, and because

(50:37):
she's like saying, it's just how you reflects a few
lens and then goes back that way and she's like, listen.
She's like, I do believe there's things out there we
don't understand and we can't see.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
She's like, do you think it's possibly.

Speaker 6 (50:48):
You get me the paperwork from the hospital so I
could like actually look at like, you know, everything that happened,
like this was really interesting. I never went back though,
because like in the long run, she eventually said, she's like,
it looks like it's going back down, and she's like
an out of all my tests, she's like, there's nothing
wrong with your eyesight. So she's like there's nothing to do.
She's like, I can't tell you to do anything. She's like,

(51:09):
I think I'll just go back to normal. But now
whenever I take myself like this is even another thing,
I can't meditate and bring myself to the eclipse. I
just won't go cross. I just won't cross the abyss.
I won't wait for the explosion or the trains or.

Speaker 4 (51:22):
The movie film because filmed too and it's in Sepia.

Speaker 6 (51:27):
I forgot to leave that out. It's always in the
Stepia color too, these those cellophane windows. But yeah, whenever
I bring myself to that though, I've even taken pictures
and like, I've posted it on Twitter, probably over a
year ago. I think I showed I showed it to
a couple of people on the show I think a jin.
I've showed it to Headless. I've showed it to Theresa

(51:47):
and Lisa. They've seen I just from a deep meditation.
And if I bring that eclipse, if I keep that
eclipse and hold it there and don't go too far
with it, you will see a difference in my guys.
One will get bigger than the other one. And if
I push myself over it will get even worse. It
is constant. I one time I posted it on Twitter

(52:07):
and somebody's like, oh, you had a stroke. I was like,
but I mean doing if I if every time I
do that to my eyes, I'm having a stroke, I
should be like retarded to debt at this point because
I've probably done it like thirty times.

Speaker 4 (52:24):
You know, we're counting meditations and not prosting the abyss.

Speaker 6 (52:27):
Yeah, I mean I I sometimes like, yeah, I could
probably go meditate like tomorrow for like a while, and
I'll do it to myself if you know, if I
can hold onto it. But you know what I'm saying,
So I don't believe I'm having a stroke. I don't
think that's what's happening. Something else and that is that
is does even get into the you know magic. I
do think, you know, part of it is you know,

(52:47):
I find interesting Crowley had even said magic was in
the butt or something to that effect. Inside your eyeball.
Your pupil is the same muscle that's inside your eyes.
It's just fixed the must. I do think a lot
of the magic is actually you controlling to be able
to dilate your pupil and you ride the light back

(53:08):
into your head up to your optic nerve and you
pop up in your pineal line. But I do think
like your eyser and all that stuff has something to
do with it too.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yes, exactly, Curley's got that really weird symbol that he uses.
It's got all those circles and the star and all
sorts of way.

Speaker 6 (53:25):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty wild stuff, dude. Yeah,
that's I guess the kind of like an a short.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
Yeah yeah, like.

Speaker 6 (53:46):
I said for me, now, like I even do think,
and this is I know this is a bold claim
to make, but I even do think, Like in the
lesser banishing ritual of the Pentagram the hexagram, I even
think a lot of those rituals you're actually just re
enacting the changes with arrival as well. I think a
lot of it's just showing a dramatic play, a play
of movements.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
That's the power of the psychopomp I mean, that's the
whole point of psychodrama. We m we know about that.
All of the all of the different god forms, they're
designed to be psychopomps. Yes, it's designed to trick, trick
the mind, l B R and the l B H.
They're all designed to vibe their robratorial m m. They're

(54:27):
all vibration. I mean, that's the whole point of vibrating
the Hebrew words and they do stuff.

Speaker 6 (54:31):
You said that, man, I'm glad you said that. Not
too many people bring that up, right, I mean listen.
I'm even gonna say, people say, people I was around
when I was in the magic community didn't even know that.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Like us, the Akian calls the whole. The Achian calls
the vibratory, using the vibration. Theokian calls are way different
than using the Hebrew words. I think they're a brain hack.
They're designed to hack the brain computer.

Speaker 4 (54:57):
I think you're creating.

Speaker 6 (54:59):
You're creating a vib or sound throughout your body over
and over again. You tap it into something or opening
something up or tuning into something.

Speaker 4 (55:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
No, Kundalini, yeah, Kindelna, meditation working on you know, rising,
raising the serpent, so to speak. All of those little
techniques have They've been done through the ages and stuff.
Stuff like reporting sludgy blood that happens. You know, you know,

(55:28):
a science minded person say, well, he's probably dehydrated, so
you can't roll that possibility out. But you know, when
you go to the hospital and the docks, like I
don't know, you know, the first thing they're going to
check for is to figure out if you are dehydrated.
And they can test that pretty simply. And if they're
saying no, that's not what it is, here's more. There's
a blood transfusion. That's a different situation. That's not dehydration.

(55:50):
That's that's saline. They give you saline solution and the
blood intravenious for dehydration. They're not going to give you
more blood that It wouldn't make any sense. But you know, dude,
every you know, as you're talking about these experiences, man,
there's so many. There's such a reality, and I don't
think a lot of people understand that you don't have

(56:14):
to have a specific religio, political, or theo background to
experience weird things, you know, to to basically to discover
that the world is. It's separated between you know, us

(56:37):
and whatever's over there by a real thin veil and
the ability to basically hack the brain to trick the
eyeballs to observe it. It should be no surprise, you know,
it should be a surprise that an occultist can do
something like that. There should be no surprise.

Speaker 4 (56:55):
That's what I think.

Speaker 6 (56:55):
I think a lot of the occult secrets actually goes
back to physiology.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
That your eyes in the brain, well.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
That's all that you know, Well, I mean, that's that's
the point of that. What they leave behind is to
to say that there's something here that we should be
seeing things that are behind a veil, you know. And
then but it's not just there, it's you know, gnostics
nstics talked about the fact that we don't see things
because we're living in a simulation. There's other simulation theory

(57:23):
hop offices out there that pretty much say the same thing.
And when you start messing around with vibration and frequency,
things start falling into pieces that our brains probably shouldn't
normally be perceiving, you know, I think so Gateway process.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Yeah, yeah, I will.

Speaker 6 (57:43):
I definitely say I think that I can say from
my experience. I've around with only I think two or
three of those tapes. Yeah, detually started putting me in
states to where I knew I could definitely pipe blast.

Speaker 4 (57:54):
So if easier than without.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
Oh yeah, no doubt, there's yeah, definitely. Now there's frequency audio.
You can you can get it on YouTube of all places,
as long as they don't have it set up to
be monetized. Where you're two and a half hours into
brown sound and you get a commercial and wakes you

(58:17):
up out of a deep sleep. But that's the crap
right out of you. In the middle of the night. Yeah,
but no, dude, No, that's it's some straight up stuff,
no doubt. The power of the marine, the power of.

Speaker 4 (58:36):
The brain definitely shook me up.

Speaker 6 (58:39):
And like I said, like, you know, a lot of
the times, I guess even the reason why you know,
I said, I have plans on probably doing it again.
I mean it is also like it really is one
of the most it is the most beautiful experience. I
don't than that. I mean, unfortunately, it is kind of
like screw it up because you're like when you open
up your eyes, you're like I even started questioning, like

(59:03):
where this am I really, well, there's all sorts of
all sorts of stuff with light. There's experiments, Uh, massive
universities are pouring money into light experiments. I mean you
would think that the first thing that they're trying to
figure out is is it a waiver? Is it or
is it particles? You know, and that's so elementary when

(59:25):
it comes to light and what they are doing with
studying it that they've found.

Speaker 4 (59:30):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
You know, you look at you look at the stones
that are used on the Hebrew priests breastplate thing, for example,
and they're specific stones and they react a specific way
with light frequency, and they're the only stones that will
reflect light as rainbows. And that's like the craziest thing

(59:54):
when you find out something like you put like a
diamond under a laser light under this like special photo photos,
that it's like nothing. It's just black diamonds reflect black
light underneath a nothing not a black light, just nothing light.
But you put like a ruby or a turquoise or
a what's the other one, an emerald under this light,

(01:00:16):
all of a sudden, it's rainbow colors. It's all the
colors of the rainbow. Yeah, that's insane stuff. And that's
just light, man.

Speaker 4 (01:00:24):
Yeah, and we.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
Can't see that with our naked eyes. We can't perceive that.
And so when we're able to just start screwing around
and we're seeing things, we're messing with our eyes or
dilating or you know, narrowing our focus down like a cat.

Speaker 4 (01:00:38):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Cats do this naturally.

Speaker 4 (01:00:40):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
You could be like playing with a cat and then
just staring at you. And as pupils go from huge tiny,
they do it on their own, you know, And you
can control that. You could see more, see less depending
on what you're doing.

Speaker 6 (01:00:54):
Yeah, That's why I think there's something up with the
whole pupil change in my opinion.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
And the brain has to interpret, and sometimes the brain
cannot interpret what you're experiencing, and then it doesn't know
what to do. Yeah, and then you're seeing safety of
color cellophane windows. It doesn't know that, it doesn't know
what you're doing, you know.

Speaker 8 (01:01:17):
So this is how will calculate his experience. It's like, yeah,
it's like this, I guess, I guess this is what
we're going to do with him. He lives in it,
lives in the middle of you know, the city somewhere.
Let's just give him something that makes sense for him
in the city.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
Because that's what the brain does. The brain's going to
try to analyze and translate what you're observing. And you're
not observing something that's actually normal, something other, you know,
I mean, other other realms are being seen. Anything else

(01:02:04):
you want to talk about a couple of minutes, Uh,
what's going on with the the the the academy thing,
the the cult library? You got going on?

Speaker 6 (01:02:14):
Oh, the Cult Research Institute. There's a website with a
bunch of different information. We got a bunch of different contributors.
I do highly suggest to check it out if you
don't mind reading. There's a lot of blog stuff. Uh,
there's a lot of books on there that or even
like kind of topics that have been done on the
Occult Rejects, but more of informational like certain maybe certain
alchemists or occultists from back in the day, books and grimoires.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
Uh. Then you know we have like other people doing
other things.

Speaker 6 (01:02:41):
There's there's paranormal, there's sacred geometry, there's symbolism, this's cabala,
mental manipulation, true crime, there's tons of the art. There's
a lot of things on there, so uh, definitely probably
something for everybody, so you can, I definitely suggest to
go check it out again if you don't mind reading.
There is some stuff where you know there will be
like links to like YouTube or podcast things on the

(01:03:04):
under certain topics. So yeah, you can check check all
that stuff out. Definitely plenty of stuff to read.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
And you're still doing New York Patriot. You're still doing.

Speaker 6 (01:03:12):
No, No, I just do the Ecult Rejects. I don't
have the New Ork Pature. I haven't done that in
a while now, Okay, yeah I could remember, Yeah, instead
of the New York Patriots Show one day and then
the ocult Rejects.

Speaker 4 (01:03:21):
I just do the e Cult Rejects two times a week. No,
that works.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
It's good. It catch those lives, sweet man.

Speaker 9 (01:03:28):
Uh col rejects lives. Check it out on Facebook YouTube. Yes,
more people on Facebook?

Speaker 4 (01:03:40):
You need? What any more people watching the Facebook?

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
You need more people watching the Facebook.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
The only one who does that might be Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
I know. It's like it's hard. It's hard for me
to watch and Gora. You know, some of these other
people are having conversations. It's like I can't even be
I can't say something over here to this person because
they're over there on that other they're chatting on the
youtub or something. It's like I'm not sitting there watching
a YouTube. I have to watch it on the Facebook. Sometimes.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
But when you watch it on Facebook, what does the
does the video quality look good?

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Video quality is fine?

Speaker 4 (01:04:11):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
I mean it's it's dependent upon whoever's whoever the guests.
I mean, some of these guys, they don't it's internet quality.
It's it's stream here.

Speaker 6 (01:04:20):
No. I was just thinking I do, because I do
think at least on Facebook, you're still getting ten eighty,
which is decent.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 4 (01:04:26):
I think so the Rumble Love looks like crap in
my opinion, I don't think.

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
I see the thing is I think the Facebook it's
like three or four seconds slower than like the rumble
feed might be, and that allows the picture to be better.

Speaker 4 (01:04:41):
Oh yeah, that's truely, it gives it's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
Thanks for coming back on the show. Haven't just talk
about some of these crazy things. It's not just it's
not just Christians having near death experience. I mean, you
know things like this. I mean there's people out there
man that that gosh, dude tripping tripping the the light
waves without doing any kind of substance.

Speaker 6 (01:05:09):
Yeah, I mean again, like that's That's one thing I
do like to try to just reiterate, is that, uh,
you know I had those experiences. There was no drugs involved.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
What do they call that tripping the light fantastic?

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:05:20):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
I don't know. There's something out there, some kind of
word likes.

Speaker 6 (01:05:23):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
I like that. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
That And again, like when I do I just have
to meditate. I don't need rituals. So I want people
to remember that as well least.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Thank you for listening. This is a free podcast based
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You can also donate on my website. Thank you again.

(01:06:06):
This is BT for Truth and Shadow Podcast. You are
the light in the darkness.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
Hi, everybody, it's me Cinderella Acts. You are listening to

(01:07:22):
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(01:07:43):
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