The worst Super Bowl Halftime Show ever?

This podcast edition of Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness features comedian Jesse Peyton. ( @KennethRWebster )

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jack gannic government sucks. Pursuit of Happiness Radio is DeLux.
Liberty and freedom will make you smile of a suit
of happiness on your Radiotyle Justice, Cheeseburgers, lib Rise at
the food.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
All right, kiddos, Crypto lost two trillion dollars since October.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
That is shocking.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Usually pretend money is so much more reliable. Hi, welcome
to the show. Kenny Webster's here, and that's me. Jesse
Payton's stopping by in just a little bit, a very
funny comedian. And I have a big show on Saturday
night for Valentine's Day, and I'm gonna I'm gonna warn
you we're gonna talk about it quite a bit over
the next hour.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
But also we're.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Gonna get this episode of the Walton and excuse me
of Pursuit of Happiness Radio is gonna get a little randy.
It's gonna be a little spicier than usual. If you
don't like language, turn off the radio right now. I
mean don't, okay, don't turn off the radio. But you know,
check out our sister station KTRH.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
If you don't like it. Let me get an example
of what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Timothy Busfield was indicted for child sexual abuse, and his
career in Hollywood is over. His career in the priesthood
is just getting started on the other hand, but in
Hollywood it's over. Okay, obviously that's a joke. But if
that didn't offend you too much, stick around. If it did,
you know, switch over to KTRH. Why don't we start
off the show this afternoon with this, the Bad Bunny

(01:26):
super Bowl halftime Show.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
I have to talk about it, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
The thirteen minutes that broke America and my TV remote
gather around the digital campfire. You all saw it last night.
Fireworks touchdowns. Maybe a little classic American rock or something
like that. No, that's not what you got. You got
Bad Bunny the man himself. A lot of people were surprised.
They didn't know Bad Bunny was a man. Yeah, it's
a guy walks out looking like he raided a thrift

(01:51):
store in a parallel universe where football jerseys come with
angel wings and pleated pants. I'm watching it on TV thinking, Okay,
maybe he'll do a cover a Sweet Caroline in Spanish
or something. Nope, straight into reggaetone hit like a pinata.
Full of confusion, exploding all over your living room. The
whole thing was in Spanish, every single word. I felt

(02:14):
like I accidentally wandered into a family reunion where everyone
speaks fluent, not me. It's like the NFL said, you
know what America needs right now, a halftime show where
one hundred million viewers Google translate their way through the
lyrics like it's a bad Tinder bio in another country.
Imagine ordering a big Mac and getting a lecture on

(02:35):
existentialism and Mandarin. That's the energy when I say existentialism, sorry,
and it didn't come out of my mouth right.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
And then, oh boy, the set.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
They built this fake New York street scene, like a
bodega straight out of a fever dream corner store. Neon
lights the works, and then right there growing like the
bat signal for welfare checks, a big proud sign that
says we accept EBT EBT, Electronic benefits, transfer, food stamps,
taxpayer funded groceries on the Super Bowl stage during the

(03:08):
biggest American event of the year. It's like if the
Statue of Liberty held up a sign that said we
accept food stamps and also your tax dollars Grassius, or
if Mount Rushmore had a new face carved in Uncle
Sam giving thumbs up while holding a snap card. The
metaphor rights itself. It's the perfect symbol for how some

(03:30):
folks see the whole thing. Come to America, enjoy the freedom,
the opportunity, and oh yeah, here's your complimentary government cheese
platter courtesy of hardworking folks watching at home having a
disappointing time watching the Super Bowl. They say it wasn't political,
just authentic representation. Yeah sure, and my ex saying it's
not you, it's me. It wasn't a breakup line. That

(03:51):
sign wasn't subtle. It was screaming. It was like bad
Bunny looked straight at the camera and whispered these.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
He's for all my fans who qualify. Don't worry. The
chicks in the mail right from you'll want it. And
then what about the dancing. It kind of looks like
a flock of flamingos on Red Bull doing the electric
slide in zero gravity. Trump said it was disgusting, especially
for kids. If you had young kids in the room,

(04:19):
you probably didn't want them to watch that. It was
a lot of twerking and stuff. The guest star was
Lady Gaga. The only white lady on the screen, but
of course she's Italian. Do we even count anymore? I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Ricky Martin pops in, Hey, remember when I was relevant?
Remember when people thought he was straight? And then the
finale comes bad. Bunny holds up a football and says, together,
we own America, which is adorable, except you just spent
thirteen minutes reminding half the country that America apparently now
means anywhere from Chile to Canada, but mostly the parts

(04:50):
that get free aebt. Then he yells God, bless America
in English. Finally some English, Like that's going to smooth
it over after the linguistic middle finger. Trump called it
one of the worst ever performances super Bowl halftimes underestimation.
In my opinion, it was like watching your grandma try
to use TikTok earnest, confusing and somehow offensive to everyone

(05:13):
over forty. They say it was joyful, pride representation, historic, sure, historic,
like the Titanic was historic. Hey, remember when the NFL
decided to alienate its core audience for a viral cultural moment.
I guess we're at a point here where we have
to just accept the fact that the NFL is going

(05:34):
to choose halftime performers that will be appealing to the
kind of people that don't watch the super Bowl because
that's how they get them to tune in. I won't
lie to you. I did not watch it live. I
wanted to see. I watched the.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
I watched the clips on social media.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Afterwards, I tuned in to watch the kid rock thing
the counter show on YouTube. Now I did understand the words.
It wasn't really country rock or not really my cuppe.
He's not the kind of music I listened to. But
let's face it, there's never They're never going to book
the kind of nine inch Nails is never going to
do the halftime show. I've got to just accept that.
So yeah, bad Bunny halftime show zero out of ten.

(06:13):
Would not recommend unless your idea of entertainment is getting
lectured in a language you don't speak while staring at
a glowing reminder that your taxes or funding the party
you weren't invited to. Thank you, by the way, to
those of you who emailed me to remind me, you
know he's from America. Puerto Rico's in America. Yeah, we know,
we get that. Know what you're making an argument. You're

(06:34):
you're arguing with a point that nobody made. God bless America,
and please next year give us a halftime show in English.

Speaker 5 (06:43):
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Speaker 2 (06:54):
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Does that sound familiar? Yeah, your portfolio has done that before. Well,
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(07:15):
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(07:57):
military has been gunned down in his own stairwell. And
I believe in Moscow they call that death by natural causes.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Hey, look who's in the studio.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
It's Jesse Peyton, live in the building right now, my man,
turn the camera on this guy.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
We got it.

Speaker 6 (08:11):
I didn't even I didn't prepare this. Let's straight out
a face for radio. I didn't know there's gonna be cameras,
can't he There are cameras, there's all kinds of stuff.
How many times have you heard that? People come in here,
they want to be funny, They go, I've.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Got a face for radio. How many times in your career?

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Ye see, it's not even the first time someone told
that joke today. I believe if you look at the
comments section on any of our posts, there's always someone
that's a photo of us and they're like, oh you
got I like your show, but you got a face
for radio. If I had a dollar for every time,
you wouldn't have to do radio. It's the most common joke.
It's it's like in stand up comedy, everyone, what's what

(08:45):
do you.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Do if you get heckled?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Didn't? Oh, I got a good line for you for
if you get hackled, tell the guy I don't show
up at your work and knock the penis out of here.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, that's what I do. Hey.

Speaker 6 (08:58):
The funniest part is this is how you know it's
gonna be terrible. Is after a comedy show, somebody will
walk up and they'll always say the same thing. They're like, hey,
I got something you feel free to use this. I
was like, thank you for giving me a license to
use the meme USAW on MySpace yesterday.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
Thanks boy for those who do.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
And I know Jesse Payin and I are very good friends.
In case ednon caught on. He's a stand up comedian
and I'm a radio personality. And he dabbles in radio
and I dabble in stand up comedy. And so this
weekend Jesse and I will be hosting I don't know,
maybe for the last time ever. We're going to be
doing couples therapy in the Greater Houston area. And this

(09:35):
is a big damn deal. It's for Valentine's Day. It's
all gone down this Saturday night at what's it called
the Community field House. How did you book the Community
field House?

Speaker 6 (09:47):
Well, we needed a big venue, Kenny, and we've got
over four hundred presold tickets, y'all. This is a Valentine's Day,
couples related, couple's themed show, perfect date night. We're doing
the comedy show, live music before dinners included with every
ticket and you get all that for fifty nine bucks.
So what we wanted to do with this show is
we wanted to make it big. We weren't trying to
gouge on prices. So you get dinner, a comedy show,

(10:10):
live music at DJ, the after party, full bar, everything
and dinners included with your ticket for fifty nine dollars. Guys,
this is a perfect turnkey thing to bring your wife,
bring your girl, bring your side check hell, bring them
all at the same time.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Let's have a party. What about single people? Are they encouraged?

Speaker 6 (10:25):
We've got so many single people come in. People ask
that They're like, hey, I'm a widow, can I come.
I'm like, it depends how did he die? But yes, absolutely.
This show is for every single person out there. If
you like to laugh, if you don't get offended by words,
if you're not a Karen who goes into places of
business talking about their ice outsign on the door, then

(10:47):
this is gonna be a good show. But you will
hear some adult language. Kenny Webster is not gonna be
on the radio doing show. He gets unedited, unfiltered, and
unapologetic live on stage and you get to see his face.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
You know what Billy had asked me this morning and
I didn't know the answer.

Speaker 6 (11:03):
What What is the dinner? What are they serving? So
they're gonna be doing Oh wow, I actually met the shift.
The dude is an amazing chef that they've they've gotten
for the show. They're doing a braised short rib. I
didn't even know what that was. It was great, and
then they're doing a chicken pasta, so they got a
variety of stuff. It is gonna be a buffet style
because of the volume of people there, so logistically it

(11:25):
was the only way to do it. But doors open
at six, Dinner starts at seven, comedy starts at eight
Live Music's where Jeff Cannon is going to be playing
before the show. Guys, this is gonna be the biggest
event in Houston for Valentine's Day and you get to
come out and it's a one it's a one stop shop.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Guys.

Speaker 6 (11:39):
You've got dinner, there's gonna be wine, champagne, a full bar,
comedy show, live music, everything you want, and an after party.
So come out. Well, I'm doing something very special this time, Kenny.
I don't know if I told you, but we're doing
a one hundred percent money back guarantee that every dude
gets some booty after the show. Now, how is that
gonna work? How are you gonna be able to do that? Well,

(12:00):
that's how good I am. Laughter is the best medic sin.
It's an afrodisiac, and that's what we do, Kenny. We're
so good at our job that we grease the wheels
and we get it started. So, guys, I will tell
you this. If your wife or your girlfriend, or whoever
you bring, she doesn't put out that night, me and
Kenny are staying at the Fairfield Inn in spring room
two oh nine and two oh eight. Just come by,
knock on the door. That do the Dunta na nunta

(12:22):
and then we're coming in.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Well no, not the secret knock, not not knock.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
That's it.

Speaker 6 (12:26):
And that doesn't make us gay, it makes us capitalist, Kenny,
because we don't like to give money back.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
No, it's true. I'd rather just make the money. Absolutely,
it's not gay. Twenty bucks is uh. Well, you know
we've done this show all.

Speaker 6 (12:37):
Across the country though, Kenny, and it's gonna be great
to be doing it in our hometown on a themed
show for Valentine's Day, which this year only every seven years.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Valentine's Day's on a Saturday.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
Guys.

Speaker 6 (12:46):
Yeah, you're gonna be expecting you to do it up.
So if you're in the Houston area, especially on the
north side Spring Texas Community Field House, tickets are available
all over my social media and my website Walton and Johnson.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
You can see it everywhere. Y'all come see this.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's gonna be fun and this might be one of
the last time we ever do it in the greater
Houston area, so people need to be there for that.
All right, you teased this, whether people realized it or not,
you hinted at this video we're about to watch. There
is a video. You're about to hear some course language, folks.
I'm warning you, I'm gonna try. I don't have it edited.
We were watching videos of Minneapolis and the white ladies,

(13:20):
white liberal women, ew are the dregs of society. There
is no group of people. I'm not a racist, but
I hate white liberal women. I just I wish there
was some way we could concentrate them all together and
put them on a train in an oven and send
them to a camp. I don't know what we would
call whatever we'd call that. I don't know that I'm keddaning.

(13:40):
We're keddying, We're all obviously we're kiddying wing wing. But anyway,
so these white liberal women were upset at their yoga
studio in Minnesota.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
All in Minneapolis. Hey, but these are women are what
are they mad about? They're mad?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Apparently one of the yoga instructors quit working at this
place called Core Power Yoga.

Speaker 3 (13:59):
Why did she quit working there?

Speaker 2 (14:01):
She was mad that they wouldn't let her put up
an anti ice poster on the wall or something like that.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
The explanation isn't even really clear.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
There weren't enough anti ice posters or whatever it is,
so they surround a group of angry white women and
one pudgy gay guy, because of course, surround the two
wage workers. And basically they these women they are on eleven.
As soon as they show up, put those headphones on.

(14:31):
I want you to listen to this, all right, can
you hear this? They show up to this thing.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Let's hear it.

Speaker 7 (14:35):
Why are you being silent?

Speaker 2 (14:38):
The woman that is, the woman behind the counter is
trained to make smoothies, sell yoga pants, and check you
in for your class, right, That's what she does for
a living, and they're asking her to explain a culturally
polarizing phenomenon. They want her to explain why is it
that we don't have enough anti ice poster ten.

Speaker 7 (14:58):
Thousand dollars for people for red Yesterday people gave up
to my vemmo that I'm gonna bay taxes on the lady.
Let's here, ANSWER's.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Let's pause right here.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
My favorite part of this, although there's a lot to
this video that's funny, is the woman filming makes it
sound like she's, Oh, I just spent ten thousand dollars
for the rent of undocumented migrants.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
What are you doing? Lady? That makes fifteen bucks an hour?
In her mind. You know, she hears that.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
She's like, I don't make ten k a year at all.
What that's my that's my annual salary. How could I
give that away? I support immigration. I like all the
guys who pick our lululemons. This video, it's just this
is a perfect example of what is happening.

Speaker 7 (15:44):
And you came here to silence teachers, to make sure
everything was that. I've never seen your friend in ten years.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
You came here.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
You came here in a silence teacher.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
How is she what? No, I'm ma'am.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
I sell yoga pants for a living. I'm not even
the instructor. It's a corporate place. They showed a photo
of this place from the outside. It looks like a
yoga studio in some old house or something like that.

Speaker 6 (16:05):
You know what this reminds me of it It's like
she wants Delaney the yoga lady, to be anti Ice
at the one place that Ice immigration or immigrants will
never go.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
And then you know what else is great about this?

Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's the obvious thing, right, isn't this It's yoga right,
it's Indian people, Hindus. There's not a brown person in
the room.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
With them, What is she gonna do next?

Speaker 6 (16:30):
Go to glow Malibu Tan and wonder why they're not
protesting ICE.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
This is wild. You know.

Speaker 6 (16:36):
Trying to get people at a regular business to protest
ICE is tantamount to trying to get your kids to
do that high school walk out. Because high schoolers walking
out of class to protest isn't teenager supporting your calls.
It's they're just ditching school, which is proof that even
fourteen year olds are smarter than liberals.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
That's pretty much. That's in a nutshell, my man. And
then the last thing that I love about this, As
you watch the video, every one of these women has
their yoga mat out, they're dressed for yoga, they've got
their yoga outfit on. They've all got a towel, they've
got their strap, they've got their orthopedic blocks. They're very
mad at the yoga instructor, but they're not gonna leave

(17:14):
without getting the class in.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
That's for sure. That's right.

Speaker 6 (17:16):
In support of illegal immigration, we're gonna do downward Pero.

Speaker 5 (17:21):
He could certainly slew the aging process if aging had
to pass its way.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Through slow ass Congress.

Speaker 5 (17:27):
Take another vacation, Why don't you Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
All right, So, as you may or may not be aware,
Peter Gabriel has a new song out. It's called put
down the Bucket. It's what he tells his nurse when
he's done going to the bathroom. I think that's great
that he's still working after all these years. That's fantastic
for Peter Gabriel. Who was your favorite member of Genesis,
Phil Collins? Yeah, Morris Southan, Peter Gabriel.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
I do.

Speaker 6 (17:53):
I like Phil Collins because my dad dedicated one of
a Phil Collins song to me. It was a you
no son, your no son of mine. He was a
romantic father, was a great dad.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
I didn't know. I didn't I every one can't do
that joke.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
I forgot. We're on the radio. Yeah, you have to
be a little clean. We are on It's true. Uh,
Saturday night, if you come see our comedy show, we
won't be clean at all. Here's something else that was
not clean the Super Bowl halftime show.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
How many of you guys have looked at this.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
It's bad Bunny gyrating his nutsack against the inside of
his shorts. And uh, that's kind of what I guess
this is what it always is, and I look, I
don't care if rappers are profane or when we tell
dirty jokes for a living. What I found odd about
Bad Bunny's performance is that of all the people that
enjoyed his halftime show on Saturday, Elmo, the Muppet from

(18:41):
Sesame Street tweets out the following jesse. He says that
Bunny was amazing. Elmo thinks he should be called good Bunny.
Elmo loves you, mister good Bunny. Isn't it like, aren't
all of his songs about like performing, mouth sucks and
that sort of thing.

Speaker 6 (18:55):
It's very like, Yeah, yeah, he has a song called
tickle Me bocha.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Be what they they kept calling it the Benito super
Bowl or something.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't care.

Speaker 6 (19:09):
I don't care enough, Kenny, is it bad that I'm
just I feel like am I do? I lack patriotism
because I don't care about the woke NFL's halftime super
Bowl agenda.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
I mean, I'm kind of with you as well. I
don't care either. I I'm popular opinion. I didn't really
like the kid rock thing that much either. I don't mean,
you know, the only one I really like. Because I've
been to five super Bowls.

Speaker 6 (19:29):
I've seen Bruce Springsteen Live US, all Lady Gaga, sall Beyonce, whatever,
you know.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
I don't like any of that. I don't. I don't either,
But the production of the shows was great.

Speaker 6 (19:36):
However, the one I did like was the one with
Snoop Dogg fifty Cents and.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
All the rapper Doctor Dregenham. Yeah, that one was cool.
I really liked that one.

Speaker 6 (19:45):
But what I did for this super Bowl is in
protest of both sides, because you know, I've got beef
with both sides, Kenny. What I did is I didn't
watch either. I didn't watch the Turning Point, which I
like Turning Point, but I didn't watch Kid Rock, and
I didn't watch Bad Bunch. I watched replays of the
Janet Jackson Super Bowl igret. I watched three Seconds on

(20:05):
repeat for thirty minutes for seric, just the wardrobe malfunks.
I'm a huge fan of the malfunctioning of wardrobes. I
watched it too.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
I was very interested in it for about three minutes
and then suddenly instantly.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
Not interested at all.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah, and then I you know, and then I went
in the other room, washed my hands, came up, put
it on again.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
I found myself more interested, really interested, really really interested,
than suddenly.

Speaker 6 (20:26):
Not even a little interested. Yeah, there's a thing called
post halftime clarity.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
No, that's exactly all right. I want to show you
something on the screen here Here is a young woman
who really enjoyed it. Now we have a video here
in the studio that for those listening on the radio,
this is a.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Cuban woman picture Bad Bunny.

Speaker 6 (20:45):
If it was a female named Bad Piggy, I just
want the people who can't see the photo to conceptualize.
But if you saw the lady who killed Selena, this
looks like her.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
This is Yolanda Sondeval's daughter. Well, she's very excited about
Bad Bunny. I look insane.

Speaker 8 (21:03):
I just finished watching the halftime show, the super well
Bad Bunny halftime Show. As a Cuban American, as a
woman that is Latina that is not accepted in spaces
where I don't have an accent in English, and then
I don't speak enough great Spanish, where I also get
told that it's clear that I'm an American.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Wait wait, wait, wait wait, you have an accent, but
you don't speak Spanish.

Speaker 6 (21:29):
What is isn't it called code switching? I do that
too when I talk to black people.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
How do you how is it you have a Cuban
accent but you don't speak Spanish?

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Are you not from Cuba?

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I don't. I don't get it. Also, I hate to
be the one to point this out, but you see
this little thing on her eye right here?

Speaker 3 (21:46):
Jesse?

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, what does that look like to you? Herpies? No,
it looks like an eye herpee. Doesn't It kind of
look like she got punched in the eye.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
It does.

Speaker 6 (21:57):
Yes, Yeah, so she's definitely dating you. And she doesn't listen.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
That's no, that's not my opinion. That is Jesse's opinion.
That But anyway, I did think that was interesting. This
woman's got a black eye. She does kind of look like, uh,
she got bigger problems than who does the halftime show?

Speaker 3 (22:16):
Yeah, like, uh, she needs so zimbic. That's the next problem.

Speaker 8 (22:20):
And I don't get accepted there. And my parents come
from an island. I can never go back to that.
They you know that there, they never really went back
to is one time that there's no real prosperity there,
that they couldn't have the life that they envisioned.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
They have to come here, and why is that? Why
is why is life so bad on the island at Cuba?
What is it about Cuba's I don't know. Is there
something happening here?

Speaker 6 (22:45):
Yeah, Cuba is the foreshadowing of what New York's about
to be.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
If only there was some way to know what system
of politics or economics that's made Cuba so unlivable, that
makes America so vastly better by comparison.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
Does anyone know? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
If it's a shock to me, Jesse, I have no
idea anyway, This poor woman anyway, it's very important to
hear to have bad buddy there at the halftime show.
Something else I thought was fun at the halftime show
was this TV commercial for Ice.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
America. And I start investing when I'm sixteen. Nice, it
could change, mon.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
Sorry, this isn't the ice commercial. I can't up the
wrong thing. Trump's gonna give people money, and this was contrairary.
You go watu to have savings accounts for kids. It's
not the ice commercial. It's something else, but but it
is another Trump pro Trump add I just I wonder
what liberals think when they see.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
Michel all our feature being nursed, go to college?

Speaker 8 (23:41):
He a businesswoman, I can say for a house to
the trampline.

Speaker 7 (23:47):
This year every American child gets an investment account.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
Wait, do those kids live in a motel? What's going
on here? We're they do they live in a motel?
For there's no adults in sight. I'm worried about this
little whit? Is that a Scottish inn? What is that?
You might have to explain what Scottish in is to
pay by.

Speaker 6 (24:09):
The hour hotel where you can go in there and
for the cheap price of forty dollars minimum you can
do two hours, but you have to pay for the
minimum and it's cash only.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
The z rucks your credit.

Speaker 6 (24:17):
I mean, I've heard never mind the xerracs your ideas,
they do zero idea and it's cash only. I didn't
you know what I like to do is I like
to stand outside cheap motels that are paid by the
hour and scream, hey hussy, I know you're in there,
and then have everybody peek through the blinds.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Just Jesse, I just had so many ideas. Can we
go do a video? One hundred percent?

Speaker 3 (24:38):
Why not? It'd be fun.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
I'm down why did There was this other video I
don't have it queued up right now where somebody was
walking around asking NFL players before the game what their
favorite bad bunny song was and nobody knew the name.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
Of one song.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Right, Yeah, they were like, well, well, what's what is
your favorite bad bunny song?

Speaker 6 (24:58):
I like LaBamba Babama. Oh bah bah see that would
be fine. I would enjoy that.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Uh yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
Anyway, by the way, did you look at this.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Guess what they had to pay in taxes just to
have the Super Bowl in California. It's ridiculous, bro, It's
they said some of the players in that game will
pay more money in taxes than what they earned.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
I saw that. How is that even possible? It's wild.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Now do you think Gavin Newsom gets to be governor
or gets to be president after?

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (25:23):
I just think you could California the whole country if
you would let Gavin newsm in twenty eight I mean,
that's the right, I'm down. I would love Yeah. I
mean I know he's gonna get every homeless vote, that's right,
probably every dead person.

Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, I would imagine. All right, we'll take you from
that to this.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
If Gavin Newsom's the most popular Democrat in California, or
at least the most powerful. They say that State Representative
Jean Wu, the leader of the Democrats in the Texas Legislature,
is the most powerful or one of the most powerful.
I wish I didn't have this thing with his phone
number qued up on it. Is there another version of
this video I could cue up real quick. Jean Wu
is in the news right now. When I was playing

(26:01):
that out here we go, Okay, this is a better
version of it. I don't want to have his phone
number on the screen. I'm not trying to parade him.
I don't want to be part of the problem or whatever.
But anyway, I'm going to show a video right now
on the live screen.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Here.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
Here is State Representative Jean Wu, and he is a
local lawmaker from here in the Houston area.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Are you familiar with this guy? I'm not.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Well.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
He has a lot of opinions about you, does he? Yeah? Listen, yeah.

Speaker 9 (26:22):
I always tell people the day the Latino, African, American,
Asian and other communities realize that they are that they
share the same oppressor oppressors, the day we start winning
because we are the majority in this country. Now, are
we have the ability to take over this country and
to do what is needed for everyone and to make

(26:43):
things fair. But the thumb is our communities are divided.
They're completely divided.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
What do they call it white extermination theory or something
like that.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
I forget.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
They said conservatives are obsessed with this idea that we
want to eliminate all the whites. And I got to
tell you, I don't spend a lot of time talking
about that at all.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
But isn't that exactly what he's saying here?

Speaker 2 (27:04):
I mean he's talking about, you know, if all the
browns and blacks and whatever the other colors are could
rise up against.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Whitey, we could What if we said that here's what
we need.

Speaker 6 (27:12):
We need all the English, Irish, Scottish and all you know,
all the all the goods. We need everybody to come
together and then we'll fix the problem. Shut up, Shut up,
nobody's that's not real anymore. Jesus Christ. This is the
most racist thing I've heard. Is you talking about racism
that doesn't exist. Do you know who his wife is.
She's the ABC thirteen news reporter Maya Sheha Wu Okay,

(27:35):
so she's mainstream news, major network top ten market local
news reporter. He is the most powerful Democrat in the
state legislature in the state of Texas. Their whole shtick,
the whole thing that they're trying to say, is we
are an oppressed people and it's white people.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
That oppress us.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
He's saying it in this video. That is what he's
vividly saying. It is not my opinion, you just heard
him say it. Is there any other country on Earth
where the Okay, England, Germany, France?

Speaker 3 (28:01):
I get that.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
Is there any other country on Earth where the opposite
of this happens where I could move there with my
blonde haired wife and become a famous politician in China?
And my whole shtick is how horrible China is, and
my wife's a famous media personality, and our whole brand
is how oppressed we are in this country where there's
clearly better opportunities than they were back in our home country.

(28:25):
That's why we came here in this hypothetical, in this
example that I'm there's no other example of this happening
anywhere on Earth except in America.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
And it's the same thing with the Islam thing.

Speaker 6 (28:37):
It's they're coming over here doing all that there's no
way in heck you could go to a Muslim country
and just propagate Christianity and talk about the influx of Christianity.
And it's the Christian agenda to come over here and
turn whatever country the Muslim country is into a Christian nation.
They'll execute you, they will literally execute you.

Speaker 3 (28:57):
And you get to come over here and do this.

Speaker 6 (28:59):
And how air you talk about being oppressed when you
and your family are probably the most one of the
most powerful and successful people with the biggest platforms available
in this country.

Speaker 3 (29:10):
Oh yeah, his kids go to private school.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
And he was against what is it school choice, the
thing where they give school fund and they get funding
to poor kids to send them so poor kids could
go to private school. He's against that, but weirdly sends
his kids to private school and the whole society is racist.
But weirdly, we elevated you to the status of rich,
powerful politics.

Speaker 6 (29:28):
And they want to call Trump a racist, But it
was Joe Biden who said he didn't want schools to
be integrated because then it's going to turn it into
a jungle quote unquote, and he didn't want his kids
to go to school in a jungle.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
I think the term he used was race jungle, racial jungle.

Speaker 6 (29:43):
Yes, well, it's okay when he says it, right, but
when when Trump posts a video of the Lion King,
the whole country's in an uproar.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
These people are going to ruin my yoga class.

Speaker 5 (29:52):
Right, So we're supposed to live within our income so
we can afford to pay taxes to a government they
can't live within its income. Yeah, that Kenny Webster's pursuit
of happiness, all right?

Speaker 3 (30:05):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Jesse Hall of Fame quarterback Sonny Jurgensen just died. I'll
remember him as one of my greatest teammates, responded Aaron Rodgers.
Just very sad about that. I think that made to
That joke makes sense to you.

Speaker 6 (30:20):
No, I've never even heard of Sonny Jurgensen and I'm
a huge football fan.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Is that really? He's Hall of Fame, he's very old,
But that's the joke.

Speaker 6 (30:27):
I didn't know who he was either, never heard of him,
and I'm a huge I've been I'm forty five years old.
I remember in ninety two when the Oilers lost that game,
the big comeback from the Bills. I'm a huge football
fan and I don't remember that. I have a confession
to make.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Steve Johnson wrote that joke this morning during a commercial break. Well,
Steve's very old, that makes sense, and I didn't get
the joke, so I wrote it down and I was like,
let's be cause I didn't know who Sonny Jurgensen was.

Speaker 6 (30:49):
That's wild because Steve still wears a leather helmet. I
love sorry, Steve, I love you very much. We do
love Steve Johnson. Steve's a legend, amazing, He's a broadcast legend.
All right, folks, if you're just getting tuned in, here's
something I learned this weekend, Jesse when I will never
be right again after learning.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
This, I'm going to tell you two things.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
I'm dating this woman who prosecutes and investigates.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
Pedophiles for a living.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Nice but other than that, she's pretty normal, right, other
than her weird, unusual job. And one of the things
I learned and from her this weekend was this. This
right here, this is a product that women buy. Would
you read what it says on the screen to our
radio listeners please?

Speaker 3 (31:27):
It says b venom vaginal tightening.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
And would you tell us what website you purchase this
product on Amazon dot com? If you've never heard of it.
As fast as one day with prime choose from huge
collection of health in personal women rub b venom on
their nether regions in an effort to keep them young
and fresh. I had no idea, and I don't know
what to do about this. I don't know what to

(31:51):
do with this information. As a man, I've worried before
that I am am I too am, I too well
in doowed not well and dout enough?

Speaker 3 (31:59):
And then I learn about this.

Speaker 6 (32:01):
I think some woman just got caught when somebody heard
a buzzing noise coming from her room and they're like,
what is that and she's like, no, it's not a vibrator,
it's b venim.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Okay, Well that brings me to my next story.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
I want to tell you, radio listeners, I'm warning you
is gonna get a little manture here for just a minute,
if you got kids listening. I'm dating this woman and
she tells me, she's like, you know my girlfriends, well,
they all went out to hang out tonight, but I'm
here with you. I was like, oh, what are your
girlfriends doing? She goes, well, they're having a vibrator party.
Passion party. Is that what it's called you've heard of it?

(32:37):
Absolutely it's And I was like, what is that. She's like,
it's like a tup aware party, but for marital aids,
massage ones, vibrators. Basically. I was like, hang on a minute.
A bunch of women get together and then what do
they do? You just they're like, well, one of them
demonstrates how it works, Like what they demonstrate how it works?

(32:59):
How much demonstration is involved in this? And she goes, wow,
they're all friends or whatever. They show you how to
use it, they take, you know, pull the pants down.

Speaker 6 (33:07):
Take.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, there's no way that
this is women. I'm like, are they lesbian? She goes heterosexual.
I was like I don't. Don't you mean European? Like,
isn't this There's no way I get You're not gay
or straight, you're European. Okay, fine, she's like no, it's
a very common thing. I was like, could you imagine
if dudes got together on a Saturday night and we're

(33:28):
like we all had flashlights or whatever, and we're like, dude,
you've got to see this flashlight. It is so good.
Well what is it about this flashlight that's so interesting.
Oh hang on, man, let me show you. He's zip drop.
He's like, oh, it's just sitting there. Huh, this isn't gay.
I'm just watching my friend to use a flashlight over here.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Oh, kitty, I didn't know you do a twisting motion.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
What?

Speaker 3 (33:49):
Oh my god, Sorry, guys, I gotta go.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
This isn't this kind of proof right here that gender
is not a social constructor. There's no way that heterosexual
men would do that. And yet here's a group of
middle aged, divorced, relatively attractive, affluent, presumably aroused women. I
guess hanging out in a group drinking white wine together.

(34:15):
And that's annoy and this is a common thing.

Speaker 6 (34:17):
And then your girl shows up with b vinim there
is no way come down. Why'd you put it in
a honey pot?

Speaker 3 (34:28):
Yeah? I like the illusion there, great job.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
All right, I'm gonna tell you something else on the
screen here, Jesse, this is a photo from New Jersey
from over the weekend. If you had to guess, what
would you guess about this? We're looking at a picture
on the screen of a truck submerged in water in
an icy lake.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
What do you think we're looking at here? I think I.

Speaker 6 (34:47):
Would capture this and says ice is getting out of control.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Okay, yes, that's that's exactly. I'm glad you went the highway.
You didn't make a joke about women drivers or ethnicity.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
Yeah, no, you can't. How do we know woman drove it.

Speaker 6 (35:00):
I can't see the wheels to see if there's curb rash.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
That is not funny. I'm taking the baby. Not funny. No, never.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Okay, here's what happened. So this guy had his old truck.
Some redneck in New Jersey presumably decides he wants to
do some donuts on a frozen lake, starts spinning around,
cracks the ice, jumps out of the car, runs off,
the truck gets submerged underwater. He doesn't tell anybody, He
doesn't even report it to law enforcement. People nearby see this.

(35:33):
They see a truck crash into the ice. They bring
out paramedics, firefighter, truck, police, the whole shebang, the whole
nine yards. People are very alarmed by this. They come
to find out there's no one in the truck, there's
no one injured. What should the punishment be for this guy?

Speaker 3 (35:50):
I don't have no idea. She didn't even bother to
tell anybody. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
People risked their lives trying to presumably save someone from this,
only to find out there's nobody in the truck.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Nobody's in there.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, anyway, that's embarrassing, that's wild. I'm just yeah, I'm
just glad you didn't say female driver. That's great. All right,
here's the troll of the week photo. I thought this
was fake. We all get who Jordan Hudson is? Yes, Pete,
I love Bill Belichick and Jordan Hudson. That's my power
cover the American Dream. It's the American Dream. Bill Belichick
the greatest. Apparently Bill Belichick does not get along with

(36:24):
Robert Kraft.

Speaker 3 (36:25):
Did you get who? Robert Craft is?

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Owner of the Patriots, Bill Belichick the greatest coach he's
ever had. Obviously, Patriots did not win the Super Bowl
without Bill Belichick this year. Jordan Hudson is wearing a
T shirt. Can you see what it says?

Speaker 3 (36:39):
From there? Jesse?

Speaker 6 (36:40):
It says, what is it something of orchards of Asia.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Orchids of Asia?

Speaker 2 (36:45):
They are at a basketball game for Carolina because that's
where he's a coach, right, and he and his girlfriend,
Jordan Hudson is wearing an Orchards of Asia T shirt.
Orchards of Asia day Spa is the name of the
of the play where Robert Kraft got arrested forgetting for
this prostitution solicitation charges presume for letting a woman you know,

(37:09):
do something generous to him with her hand and anyway
you could buy a T shirt with the name of
the spawn. Not only did Belle Belichick buy that shirt,
he had his girlfriend.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
Wear it to a basketball game.

Speaker 6 (37:22):
That's crazy. I didn't even know they made that shirt
in a four te because she's under age, get it? Yea,
Well she's young, Yes, she's twenty five. Come on, that's
pretty funny. That's hilarious. That's a great troll. But it
is proof that, guys, your girl might be too young
for you if you still have to dress her like

(37:43):
I wonder if laid it out and then he's like, hey, sweetie,
you put this on.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
And hurry up. The bus is gonna be here soon.
Can you believe you.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Could buy a shirt of that? Does the Dave Spa
get any money for it? How much would you guess
it is? I'll ruin this surprise for you because I
just looked it up. Online twenty five bucks. You could
buy it as a baseball jersey. No, that's white, orchids
white orchids of Asia. I guess that's the same thing.
I cannot believe you could buy a shirt of this,
and actually I can believe it. It's you know, it's America.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
That's it.

Speaker 6 (38:11):
If you like merch, you can go to jessesfunny dot
com and buy Unapologetic merch.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
Where what's your best selling shirt?

Speaker 6 (38:16):
I have a flag shirt that says unapologetic with a
US flag that bleeds down into some guns.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
It's really a cool shirt. It's by far my best seller.
I think we've sold five thousand of them over the
last years.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
And you can get all of that at Jesse'sfunny dot com.

Speaker 6 (38:30):
You can also get tickets to our show this weekend.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
I just want to show people something real quick if
they're looking at it online. Saturday night, Jesse and I
have a comedy show with Seriously Melissa. It's going to
be a massive comedy show. Dinners included with your ticket.
Here's what I'm concerned about. If people go to Jesse'sfunny
dot com, don't click the tour button, just scroll down.
It doesn't work. I'll fix that. It takes you to

(38:52):
a different website. Scroll down instead and you'll see Spring, Texas,
February fourteenth. Get tickets Saturday night. This might be the
last couple's therapy we ever do in Houston, Texas. After this,
we're going to start doing a different show called The
Right Side of Comedy. Yes, which is very political, and
but this couples the right side of political. It's the

(39:13):
right side on the right side of comedy. I love that.
That is very cool, all right, all right, So that's
all going down this Saturday night in Spring, Texas at
the Community Fieldhouse. Tickets available at Jessesfunny dot com. There
is also a link on the Walton and Johnson Facebook
page that makes it very very easy to everybody else
out there today that isn't attending the comedy show. You're
dead to me, I don't even care about I'm just kidding. Actually, tonight,

(39:36):
I have a thing going on tonight. If I could
plug it real quick, anybody that wants to come attend this,
we are going to be in where are we going
to be tonight? In Katie, Texas at the Katie Elk
Lodge for me at a Turning Point, USA, event. I
am the featured speaker, February ninth, five thirty pm. I

(39:56):
think it starts at six, but try to get there
at five thirty pm. This is for Club America and
Turning Point USA, but all are welcome. You don't have
to be a college kid to attend this. That'll be
a lot of fun that's going down tonight five point
thirty pm, and it will be very interactive. I'm gonna
let you do most of the talking. It's kind of
my way of saying I'm not gonna work much.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Well, I'm nice.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
I like lip singing, Yeah, exactly. It's gonna be exod
just like lip singing, like kid rock at the Turning
Point USA things to the rest of you, We love
you all. We'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning
for more of what you bought a radio for. Oh no,
the computer's broken. Never mind, here we go.

Speaker 7 (40:38):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Tell the government to

Speaker 3 (40:45):
Kiss your ass when you listen to this show.