May 28, 2026 • 38 mins
This podcast edition of Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness features comedians Blake Jones and Jesse Peyton. ( @KennethRWebster )
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The giganon government Sucks. The Suit of Happiness radio is
do us liberty and freedom will make you smile? Or
a suit of happen and us on your radio toil justice, cheeseburgers,
a liberty rise at food.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Scientists have discovered why the t rex had tiny arms
because it never learned to masturbate. We won't be talking
about that today on the show, I promise you. But
you know what else we're not going to talk about
much today on the show. The election. I think everyone's
got election fatigue. We're done with that. That's why at
the bottom of the hour here I'm gonna have a
room filled with foul mouthed comedians stick around for that,
(00:42):
and we're not going to talk too much about hard
news this afternoon.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I thought I just insert some you know what, there's
just old saying.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
They say that smart people talk about ideas, average people
talk about events. Stupid people talk about other people. So
let's talk about ideas and then pretend we'll pretend to
be smart but will be stupid. I guess we'll start here.
Some university wizards, some real smart guys in academia just
dropped a study claiming that jacking up the minimum wage
(01:10):
is basically economic viagra.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
They said. Oh it's great.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It makes everything bigger and harder without any messy side effects,
especially in places overrun by those big, evil, big box
stores like Walmart, where the study says raising wages doesn't
slaughter jobs. Don't worry about that. It might even birth
a few jobs. Okay, in sweet little mom and pop towns.
Well that's where the cashier bloodbath happens, guys. Turns out
(01:37):
this study is wrong, the grand conclusion they claim. Here,
big corporations secretly hoard all the power like dragons on
a pile of gold, and they don't pay workers enough
because poor folks have nowhere else to flip burgers at,
so they have to go to Walmart. Government swoops in
like a caped crusader on a union funded pony and
(01:57):
forces wages sky high, happy ending, no consequences. Right, employment
explodes rainbows far out of the break room vending machines. Yeah,
and I've got ocean front property in Nebraska to sell
you for twenty five bucks an hour plus benefits. You're
gonna love it, everybody. These geniuses carved up American counties
(02:18):
like a divorce lawyer. Dividing the silverware. When they say
big box counties, they're talking about Walmart Country, where the
only local employer bigger than the local meth lab is
the one with the smiley face logo. Mom and pop
counties are your friendly neighborhood spot where the owner still
calls you by your name and probably spots you a
(02:39):
six pack on credit because they know you don't get
paid till Friday, but you just want to drink some
natty like kids, They stared at retail jobs after wage
hikes in Walmart Land, a ten percent bumps supposedly caused
a one point twelve percent point fewer job loss for
clerks versus the rest of the county. Let me translate
(03:00):
that to you, guys, The big evil corporation is secretly
our hero. The university's blasted this like it was the
cure for cancer. Progressive groups waved it around like a
golden ticket to socialist utopia. But here's the first punch
in the face. Those big backs giants were already paying
above minimum wage. Yeah shocker, I know. Nobody's lining up
(03:23):
to push shopping carts for slave wages when they could
be doom scrolling on TikTok. You could just get paid
in welfare. What do you need a job for if
it only pays minimum wage? So the government mandate, the
government mandate barely registers. It's like telling a billionaire to
tip his barista an extra buck. The mom and pop shops,
(03:43):
they're sweating bullets, they're cutting staff, they're eyeing that help
wanted sign like it's a death threat. This study that
claims raising the minimum wage has no negative consequences basically
proves that massive corporations can obs or government stupidity better
than your local hardware store. So if you're a progressive
(04:06):
and you're listening to this, congratulations you've made Walmart even
more unstoppable. Small business owners everywhere just felt to disturbance
in the force. When you raise the minimum wage, the
mom and pop shop can't keep up with it. Walmart
will be fine, buddy. It's amazing how confused they are
(04:27):
out in the real world where actual humans live. California
turned itself into a glorious lab rat. April twenty twenty four,
twenty dollars an hour for fast food workers. Do you
guys remember we talked about that. They said there would
be no job losses. Fast forward a few months, a
couple of years, the body count rolls in something along
(04:48):
the lines of thirty six thousand. Fast food jobs no
longer exist, and now they have robot kiosks. They're multiplying
faster than rabbits and heat. The prices are going up.
The local mom and pop restaurants, yeah, they're boarding up.
They can't afford to compete. The fight for fifteen dollars
an hour became the flight of the fry cooks. Isn't
(05:10):
California great? It's a place where the only thing growing
faster than tent cities is the regret of every business
owner who thought voting for Democrats would help the little guy.
Turns out the little guy is now competing with touch
screens that never call in sick and don't demand bathroom breaks.
A serious deep dive by some careful economists, Newmark and
(05:34):
Shirley reviewed all the trendy post two thousand studies the
Left loves to quote. Seventy nine percent found negative employment effects.
The biggest hits actually affected people like teenagers and young
workers and the less skilled. Suddenly they can't get a
job at all. It's the economic equivalent of curing foot
(05:57):
pain by amputating the lake. Technically it solves the symptom,
but it kind of creates a new problem with worse vibes,
doesn't it. The dirty secret nobody on the left wants
whispered at cocktail parties is that labor markets aren't run
by cartoon villains twirling mustaches and smoke filled boardrooms. Workers
(06:19):
jump jobs more often than a Kardashian change his spouses.
Small businesses get crushed under the regulatory boot, while the
big boys just raise their prices and installs some more
self checkouts and then laugh all the way to the bank.
You wanted to stick it to the man. You just
made the man stronger and killed the dream of opening
(06:41):
your own joint in the little mom and pop town
because now the only thing that can survive there is Walmart.
Talk about peak compassion. Minimum wage hikes are participation trophies
for the workforce. You pat the people already working on
the head with a slightly fatter paycheck. Then you screw
the kid who never gets hired, or the single mom
(07:02):
whose hours evaporate, and every entrepreneur trying to survive without
turning into Skynet. It's government picking winners and losers. With
the subtlety of a drunk guy at a urinal These
flimsy studies get turned into policy gospel faster than you
could say taxpayer funded grant, one marginal statistical blip, a
(07:27):
shiny press release, and suddenly it's settled science justifying another
round of meddling in the economy.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Guys, that's not economics.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
That's economics cosplay with extra virtue and zero accountability. Believe
it or not, I, Kenny Webster, an average guy in
Middle America want people to make more money. I want
him to make more money the honest way. Learn a
skill that matters which jobs, start a business, or here's
a radical concept, show up on time and work your
butt off. That is the American cheat code, not waiting
(07:59):
for some politics to wave a magic wand and pretend
supply and demand took the day off. Every single time
they pull this stunt where the government goes and medals
with what's happening in the free market. The people who
get clobbered the hardests are the ones at the bottom,
the very folks the policy claims to love the most.
(08:23):
It would be funny if it wasn't so tragically predictable.
So next time you hear another study proving minimum wage
hikes are pure win win unicorn farts, do yourself a favor,
grab a calculator, some real world data, pour yourself a
stiff drink. Because the numbers don't lie, but the news headline,
(08:45):
sure as hell do.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
You've got Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness on KPRC nine
point fifty.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Little news from the tech world. Spotify. Y'all know what
Spotify is. It plays music for you. You can now listen
to narrated content from magazines on Spotify.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Do you know what that means?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
It means if you're one of those people who claims
you only get Playboy for the articles, now's your chance
to prove it.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Kiddos.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I've been taking a little break from the hard news today.
I think everybody is electioned out. You got a little
bit of election fatigue, of course you do. We're talking
about theoretic economic theory. I got a little geeky this afternoon. Mean,
you know, my dog's name's Milton Friedman. What do you want?
In the last hour I talked about the minimum wage.
Now I want to talk about the billionaire tax. If
(09:33):
you are waiting for some foul mouthed comedians to walk
into the studio and start making boner jokes. Stick around.
Jesse Payton and a very funny comedian named Blake Jones
will be here at the bottom of the hour. That'll
be a lot of fun. You're gonna love it. In
the meantime, California is about to vote on a billionaire
tax that makes a Vegas casino look like a sound
(09:54):
financial plan. We've heard about these ideas before. It's a
shiny new five percent, one time, just one time. Yeah, sure,
grab on the net worth of anyone with billion dollars
or more at the bad luck of calling the Golden
State home on January first, twenty twenty six. Now, Proponents
of this swear it'll haul in one hundred billion dollars
(10:15):
to solve everything from crumbling schools to that charming fellow
defecating on Market Street. You know in La they just
love to poop in the middle of the street. San
Francisco too, they're having a poop off competition. Here's the issue, folks.
The billionaires have already left Larry Ellison, Google's Larry Page,
Sergey Brinn. They treated Sacramento California like bad Tinder date,
(10:39):
they swiped left for friendlier zip codes. Stanford's Joshua raw
crunched the numbers and figured out after the exodus, you're
looking at maybe forty billion dollars tops. Then subtrack to
the ordinary income taxes. These guys stop paying once they're
sipping Margarita's in Florida or Texas, and that's what the
(11:00):
net result. California could be losing money twenty five billion dollars.
That's not well three distribution. That's economic self fisting with
extra loube labeled compassion. If you don't get that joke,
I'm not going to explain it to you. This tax
is retroactive in the most obnoxious way possible. They don't
(11:22):
care if you fled on January two, if your posterior
warmed a California chair on New Year's Day, you're on
the hook. Lawyers will feast for years, except lawsuits arguing
over whether the guy's dog still had a California driver's
license or if his yacht counted as a legal residence
because it was docked in I don't know Catalina Island
(11:44):
long enough to catch Wi fi are going to be
clogging up the judicial system in California for years to come.
Discovery will involve subpoenas for in and out receipts. Well,
your honor exhibit A proofs he still loved animal style fries,
clearly residency. They call this a one time tax, the
(12:05):
same way I call my New Year's resolution permanent. Buried
in the fine print is a constitutional tweak that nuke's
limits on taxing intangible assets stock spawns that four oh
one K you've been feeding like a sad house plant.
Once they bust that pinata open, every future governor with
(12:27):
a cocaine budget will be back for more. Today's billionaire
special becomes tomorrow's. Hey, your retirement account looks like it's
a little chunky.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Time to share.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
California already treats regular people's savings like in all you
can Eat the fe They've got creative ways of taxing
healthy savings accounts that the Fed's never dreamed of. Sixty
two percent of households have retirement accounts, But what about
the billionaires, Well that's about zero point zhoh one percent.
(12:59):
When this this genius plan underperforms, and it will, the
budget hawks in San Francisco will not cut the waste.
They'll just lower the threshold and start double dipping on
money that's already been taxed once. It's like the government saying, hey,
we took our cut when you earned it. Now we're
taxing it again while it sits there trying not to
die of boredom in a mutual fund. They call this fairness.
(13:24):
I call it the fiscal version of slipping a roofie
in grandma's metamucil. This isn't progressive policy. It's medieval with
better branding, punish success reward the political class that turn
the state with perfect weather and tech money into a
punch line. California is wasted on Californians.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
That's a beautiful state. You ever been there. It's amazing
to me that people are fleeing it as quickly as
they can. Companies bolt jobs, evaporate talent packs up faster
than a cheating husband when the wife finds the hotel receipts.
Pretty soon, the only billionaire left will be the ones
living in a cardboard condo under the one oh one Freeway,
(14:06):
though even they might get taxed on their shopping cart equity.
The spending side is where the real comedy gold lives.
California's budget grows like a TikTok influencer on ozempic withdrawal, fast, sloppy,
and convinced. It's all just muscle deficits balloon while they
(14:27):
lecture us about fairness. These are the same geniuses who
can't keep the lights on without rolling blackouts, but they
think they can micromanage the global wealth supply. Sacramento's idea
of restraint is flying business class to the Climate Summit
instead of private. Their budgets are so bloated a sumo
(14:48):
wrestler would look at them and say, bro lay off
the rice. Enter the competing measure. The Retirement and Personal
Savings Protection Act. Yeah, it's a boring name, but it's
a glorious concept. It slams the door on taxing, retirement accounts,
and personal savings and retroactive shenanigans. It's the constitutional equivalent
(15:12):
of putting a no junk mail, no solicitors, and definitely
no politicians with spread sheets sign up in your window. Finally,
a little protection for the folks who actually work for
a living instead of treating other people's money like an
open bar. Look, the rich can afford to leave they've
got planes, they got second homes, they have accountants who
can hide like Carmen San Diego. What about the middle class?
(15:35):
What about people like you and me? We get stuck
with the mortgage and the kids in those charming public schools,
and the rising property taxes on the house that's now
worth a fortune but feels like a prison. The billionaires
take their ball and their companies and their jobs and
they go play somewhere that doesn't treat success like a
crime scene. California. Is that hot girl at the bar
(16:00):
who keeps raising her standards, adding more tattoos and wondering
why the good ones keep leaving for Miami. Well, the
strippers down there are nicer. Apparently, even the billionaires eventually
say enough and trade the view of the Pacific for
no state income tax and politicians who understand that wealth
is in a dirty magazine. You confiscate when the lifes
(16:21):
are off. This whole scheme is not about justice. It's
about a political class that sucks at money, admitting defeat
and deciding to shake down the golden goose until it
flies south and starts laying eggs for someone else. Vote
for the Savings Protection Measure, tell the billionaire tax to
(16:42):
do what every other failed California experiment eventually does. Packets
designer bags and get the hell out. If this billionaire
tax passes in California, it's going to be terrible for them.
The only thing golden about the state will be the
urine stains on the sidewalk, and even those willably get
a special assessment from the government. Of course, on the
(17:02):
other hand, all that money's got to go somewhere, and
guess where it probably goes.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
You bet it Texas.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
You're listening to Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness. Please, if
you're offended by anything you've heard to get a piece
of paper, write down a detailed description of what bothered you,
and fax it to one eight eight eight. Nobody gives
them all.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Right, breaking news from Hollywood. Drake has forty two songs
on the Hot.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
One hundred right now.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
The last time Drake got to enjoy this many bangers
he was at your kid's prom.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
You know, forty two is three fourteen year olds. That's
probably a minor.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Hey, what the hell?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Who how did all these guys get into my studio?
Blake Jones, you never been here before? Introduce yourself to
the talk radio audience of Houston, Texas. Please, how you doing?
Speaker 6 (17:54):
Blake Jones, local comic, marine veteran Houston program robots been everywhere.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
You look and sound like a guy that would already
be into this. You really do like are the beard,
the military background, the accent, the tinkering with electronics, very
talk Southern nerdy very much? Yeah, yeah, I so weird.
So I don't like cops, you know, Like it's there's
a lot I say, Black Party, black people in the
Tea Party have a lot in common, and it's usually
(18:22):
their skepticism of the government.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Well, and I always tell people I've been woking up
by roosters more in the hood than I ever did
in the country.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Like it's it's a lot of the same same things
I was in jail, so I was woking up by
never mind never.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Jesse, did you look at those letters I handed you?
I began, man, what is this this prison mail? This
looks as familiar, except it's weird being on the receiving end.
Normally you got a dear John letter from Jesse. I
beginning letters is We're on the radio all over the South.
For those that wonder what's going on here. First of all,
we're a bunch of comedians doing a talk radio show.
(18:57):
Come see Jesse and Blake tonight at the Houston Improv.
But our morning show can be heard at a federal
prison in Louisiana where Actually the reason I became friends
with Owen Schroyer previously the Info Wars, was in that
prison listening to us every morning after he got in
prison for something that happened on January sixth. I don't
know what it was all about. Apparently it was a
big news story. But now I'm getting these letters that
(19:19):
Jesse's looking at right now, if you want to hold
those up for the camera day, where are we at?
A prison guard from Rikers Island was accused of killing
a guy and then he got sent to a federal
prison down in Louisiana, And so I looked up his
case because I really wanted to know, like, is he
a good guy?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Was he guilty?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Was the judge gave him a stiffer punishment than what
the prosecutors recommended. And the reason why is because supposedly
after he killed the guy in the prison, he kept
the newspaper clippings as a trophy, and he showed him
off to people. Jesse, you're at a former inmate and
now you're considered to be a conservative, right wing comic.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
What are your thoughts on it?
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Yeah, I turned my life around. Also, Kenny, I who
did he kill?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Hang On? I have the cliff notes here?
Speaker 5 (20:07):
Howse that matters because if you killed your selly because
he was snoring, you're a terrible person. But if you
killed a pedophile, I think you should get clemency on December.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That's what I think too. Yeah, absolutely, yes, that's time
for good behavior, right.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Like, yeah, I want to do I want to do
a Netflix special and Liam Neeson is playing you you
did It.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
December ninth, twenty twelve, Brian Cole an officers responded to
an altercation involving the inmates. Spear, a fifty two year
old pre trial detainium, was seriously ill kidney issues, mental
health problems, mobility issues. Brian Cole, the guard, and others
pinned Spear face down to the floor outside a jail clinic.
While Spear was fully restrained in handcuff, Cole repeatedly kicked
(20:46):
him in the head and chest. Spear died from brain bleeding.
Cole told Spear something to the extent of this is
what you get for effing with me. Later bragged about
the incident, kept the newspaper clippings as a trophy, and
joked about his tear drop tattoo. I interviewed, you guys
know Pimp Squad for Life, Pop hold it down, Donna Goodo.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Have you ever seen this video on the internet.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
No.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
She was a black woman who got arrested in Beaumont
Port Arthur and as they were walking her ound of
the jail, she said.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Pimp Squad, hold it down, Pop Mama, I love you.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
She went viral. They said in the news she got murdered.
So I went to the prison and I interviewed her.
The Woman's prison in near Waco is where it's at,
and I asked her what the tear drop tattoos meant.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
And that was a very touchy subject.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Blake, Apparently you're not supposed to ask inmates about their
tear drop tattoos. Why, Like, if you're if you're shouting
it out, you want to be not like you got
you have to talk about it, right Like people ask
me what mine mean and it's it's nothing.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I let my friends draw me.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Who Yeah, nothing says don't ask about a tattoo on
my face.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Jersey. Now there's white rappers.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
It's called a SoundCloud wrapper, and they're getting face tattoos
but not getting the body tattoos because they want Usually
you graduate to this, but these are guys. They're wearing
their street where and they're like, just get the face tattoos,
you know, jump the shark.
Speaker 6 (22:03):
I've seen that, and I've seen the guys getting anesthesia
to get like full body pieces, which I hate.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Like count, No, it's it's done, doesn't count. That's like
consensual jail house sex. Yeah, you don't get to say yes,
thank you, Jesse. Jesse's been to prison.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
Yes, Well, I want to go back to the guy
who was killed in prison, the guy that he killed.
He was handcuffed, he was thrown on the ground, he
was kicked in the face, stomped over and over.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
But that happened in twenty twelve.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
A similar incident happened in twenty twenty where that inmate
died of COVID. So I want to be clear that
wear your face mask people sounds familiar, all right?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
With that in mind, speaking of street crowd, we now
take you from that to this conservatives do this thing
where whenever there's a celebrity running towards them, they like
open their arms.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Scott bail we need you.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I don't know why right wingers do this, but they're
putting together the lineup here for the Great American State
Fair going from Une twenty fifth to July tenth, and
the National Mall. It will include Martina McBride, Brett Michael's
Flow Rider, the Commodore CNC Music Factory, Young mc mars
day in the time.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Said they won't have anything to do with this.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I don't know why you put us on the flyer,
but Vanilla Ice in half of MILLI Vanilli, you will
be there half of mill didn't some of these guys
like die of aids or kill themselves or why is this?
Is this appealing to you as a military event? This
is to tribute you? No, No, it was Otis Redding
busy what happened?
Speaker 7 (23:31):
Like?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
This is?
Speaker 6 (23:33):
This is an open mic lineup, dude, Mike, this better
be a This is a free show, I would assume
right in the National Mall.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, to celebrate two hundred and fifty years of America.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Now, you were in the military, you were in a
very important uh with great tradition, and this is how
they honor you, Blake.
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Oh, I feel so honored. I was who who put
the I need to know who produced this lineup? That's
this is awful. Like you don't have what's the Lee Greenwood?
You couldn't get a Lee green bill?
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, it does look like a who's not who? All right?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I think about that. I have beef with Lee Greenwood.
I really I was hitting on Kathy Lee Gifford once,
who wouldn't And Lee Greenwood kept interrupting our conversation because
they were trying to take a photo together. I hate
Lee Greenwood, But Jesse, you were in a government institution
of starts.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
What's your take on this? Yeah? Well, I mean I.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Don't take an exception with any of these guys individually,
Like if you had one show with the Commodores, it'd
be like, that's fine, or one show with Brett Michaels.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Which this is a true story, Kenny.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
I went with a twenty year old girl on a
date to the Cynthia Woods Pavilion last week to watch
Yeah Yeah, yeah. I was killing it at twelve, And
this is how I knew she was too young for me.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
This is a true story. Right after my divorce.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
I was forty, she was nineteen or twenty, and we
went to see def Leppard and Poison at the Pavilion.
I thought it'd be great, and then she Bret Michaels
is on stage. She looks at me and goes, that
guy looks like the guy from Rock of Love. I've
never wanted to cut I spent nine years in prison
and never wanted to cut my wrists so bad as
sitting next to this child, I was like, this is
(25:08):
out of control.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I feel like I'm babysitting right now. Can we mix
this with the UFC fight at the White House?
Speaker 6 (25:12):
Though? And this happens to be fights to the death,
but your career's over after that.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I actually think Blake, that saves the idea. That's great.
Who's gonna wait it?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
In line? What does Milly Vanilli even do? Cancel this thing?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
They had a scandal because they didn't sing their own music,
and now we're supposed to believe this is a great
honor to celebrate America. The fakest thing, the biggest scandal
of the late twentieth century in music. One of these
guys was so humiliated he killed himself. But now the
one who's alive is gonna honor America by what lip
singing their songs both parts?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Sorry, that's right, that's a great question. Is so good?
And then is this a TikTok thing? Is that? What
did TikTok make this socially acceptable? Blake?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It has to Yeah, no, every this is how this
is our brain rot.
Speaker 7 (26:05):
This is the.
Speaker 5 (26:07):
Remix all their songs to be politically charged, like Milli
Vanilly's gonna do. Instead of blame it on the rain,
it's blame it on the liberals. Do they do the
AI version of Tupaca.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Ice?
Speaker 5 (26:20):
It's like ice ice baby, but they're real ice agents.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Come out.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Every Every baby has their pronouns, just like every polyamorous
person has five chubby boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Is that poison Brent Mike Michaels, Yeah, I think it is.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
It is.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I think he nailed that.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
That's the thing I was excited about. Here was Morris
Day in the time. I would have seen Morris Day
in the time. Yeah, there's Morris Day in the time. Rocks, dude,
that jungle up and old. Now, so it's Morris Day
and then not so much time left? You assume with
this many people. They're all going to do what three songs?
What other two is Vanilla Ice gonna do? It's a
(27:05):
good question. Well the turtle thing, yeah, the Ninja Turtle
Power Ice Ice Baby, and then what else did he have?
I guess he does a rock version and a rap
version of that song. That sucks, guys. I went to
the Wu Tang Clan going away concert. They play all
their famous songs. Then at the end of the concert
they do a medley of all the songs you just
heard that ends with, for some reason, a rap version
(27:26):
of smells like Team Spirit. When that kicked in, I
turned to my buddy and I was like, let's get
to the parking lot before the crowd leaves.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Will beat the ride, Yeah, the traffic And it worked,
by the way. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
I went to a going away party for Diddy and
it was a freak off and they played They played
a pin the tail on the honky and I was
the honky and you guys new slash Black guys don't
have tails.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That game sucked. You learned that the hard way.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Kenny Webster the best looking dude on radio, And if
you've seen the competition, that's not saying a whole hell
of a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
We were just talking about technology off the air. Police
in California can now give speeding tickets and driving citations
to robotaxis. The thing is they won't because robotaxis are
white apparently, so they'll be fine. Blake, would you take
a ROBOTAXI have you've been in a weimo yet?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
No, I'm not getting in.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
I won't even getting a Tesla driven by my friend, Like,
I'm not getting in one of these. They will try,
like I'm terrified, like too many bad mushroom trips to
where I have too much paranoia to trust any robot
to get me somewhere.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Yeah, I could just imagine like being an off duty
Uber driver and getting a way Mo and seeing like
a robot taking your job. Like that was the first
time I saw my wife use a sex toy. I
was like, this marriage is never gonna last. I can't
do that, Jesse.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Last time you were here, we looked at the Pentagon
papers that were just released that detailed what a UFO
looked like, and you pointed out that it looked like
what was it a massage? Wand was at it? It
didn't look We saw one in your girlfriend's dresser drawer.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Yeah, I didn't know what I thought it was a
curling iron, but it buzzed at me.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
And apparently they fly to Hey live in the studio
right now, the very hilarious Blake Jones, never been here before.
Awesome having you in the studio. My good buddy Jesse
Payne and I are on the road all the time,
going out telling jokes for rednecks guys.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Who look like Blake Jones.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
But you guys are both performing at the Improv tonight
with this gentleman right here on our TV screen.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
This is Ben Daniel a night at the Improv.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
You guys that a great upcoming comic is headlining the
biggest comedy club in Texas tonight and you guys are
opening up for him.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
What's that all about? Yeah, I've known Ben for almost
twenty years now.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
I knew Ben when we were playing poker together and
he was a drug addict who's turned his life around
and started doing comedy full time. And funny thing about
Ben is he actually did it on a dare because
there was a terrible comic who coined himself the fat
alcoholic Muslim and those were the three most redeemable things
about him who was awful, and Ben was like, hey,
you're trash on Facebook and the guy was doing comedy
(29:58):
until Ben, will you come do it tomorrow at the
Improv And Ben actually did it. No, he wrote three
minutes and did not bomb, and he did well, and
he came and did that. And then obviously for Blake,
you can attest any comedy.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Whoever goes up there and gets that first shot of
endorphins after doing comedy, he was hooked. And the dude
has committed his life to sobriety and doing comedy and
he's one of my best friends, and he's giving me
the honor to actually open for him in retrospect. So
I'm excited to do that for him to night. If
he's in Improv. Fat Muslims are welcome to attend the
show tonight. If I'm not mistaken, it's I know it's Eyed.
(30:31):
You celebrate Eyed a Lada, which is a very important.
It's the end of ramadon tonight. You must have big plans, Blake,
what are you doing for Ramadan?
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Eating?
Speaker 6 (30:39):
Yeah, we're bringing it fast, We're eating, We're celebrating Ben.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah, I'm doing a long lunch.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I'm going to Jason's Deli for all you can eat,
and I play to stay there all during the sun.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
So yeah, it's gonna be a Ramadan Bambadan. No, this
is ben scrabble.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
He'll be fine, yes, yes, all right, Well with that
in mind, a pair Carently, since it is the end
of eyed or eat or whatever it's called, goats we're
found roaming the streets of Dearborn, Michigan. We have a
video of this in the studio we're watching right now
for those of you listening on the radio, we're live
streaming on the internet. And so that's what we're reacting to.
This was Muslim OnlyFans.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
On the morning.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
On the Morning Show today, mister O pointed out one
of my cos it's a white goat that's leading two
black goats. Now that's that's what Martin Luther King Junior
dreamed about that. But along comes a redneck on a
motorcycle to kind of I don't know what he was
doing here, shepherd them out of traffic. This seems crazy
(31:41):
that there were goats running. You know, they sacrifice goats
as part of ID It's a ritualistic sacrifice that's part
of their culture. Blake, Now you were said to the
Mid East to fight these people. But now that you've
learned more about it, do you appreciate it more? Do
you regret shooting at Muslims? No, not at all. But
I did not leave San Diego. I was one of
lucky Marines I got. I got stationed in San Diego,
(32:02):
never left. And they call it Hollywood Marines on the
East Coast call so even though it's obviously not, but
that's what that's the way their way of denigrating you guys.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (32:10):
Sorry, I got stationed at the beach. I got to
bang porn stars. Oh I didn't have to go to
South Carolina or North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Our afternoon host Jesse Kelly, not to be confused with
Jesse Peyton, with the Marine, and he says, you can
always tell when a military veteran is in the army
because they banged fat chicks.
Speaker 6 (32:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, you have to what we call hogin
whale and one of them, we'd all throw twenty bucks
in the hat.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
At the beginning, I thought it was code switching. And
then Jesse, how do you know if they were in
the Navy because they have semen on their face. That
probably makes perfect sense. Anyways, obviously we're all very excited
about ID.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
This is our ID segment this afternoon. Check out this
chad right here. This is a photo from Scotland. It
was a boy scout troop was said to visit a
mosque as part of a field trip apparently, and one
boy Scott would not get down and do the Islamic prayer.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
He said no.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
This reminds me of that photo of the one guy
that wouldn't salute Hitler.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
I just did it on camera. Someone's gonna take a screenshot.
There's contacts, so they.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Get a point that you shouldn't salute Hitler. We all
seen that famous photo of the guy. It's all the
Nazis and there's one guy with his arms crossed. Is
this the like the like the Judeo Christian equivalent of
that in twenty first century?
Speaker 6 (33:27):
This is amazing, dude, Like, this is a real leader
being born right here. You're you're witnessing a boy become
a man. Like I'm not putting up with this.
Speaker 5 (33:35):
Actually, he looks like he just throw a bunch of
cocaine on the ground for some drug adds.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Well, here you go, same energy.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Someone's saying he's basically the guy that wouldn't there you go,
I'm not the only person to think of it. I
just noticed this was in the comments sex This isn't Scotland. Yeah,
they got there too, Bro, It's worse there. It's vastly worse.
If you it is like this guy's it is the
canary in the mine shaft. What is taking place right
now in and what is going on right now? And
if you think white liberal women from the suburbs hate
(34:05):
your jokes, way, don't you hear Muslims react to them Muslims.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
At Scotland or smoking the bagpipes. It's gonna become the
Ieed festival over the That's it.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
But one person who is fully on board with this
is a double D congresswoman whose but is actually surprisingly
flat to spy what Alex Steins told us on the internet.
U AOC did an event with Zorhan mom Donnie recently
and war ahead job.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
And look how beautiful she is.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Zorhan feels he's made a great accomplishment here by getting
the towel on AOC's head. Kind of you know the
worst part about this, all of it. You can Jesse,
you can look up her brass eyes on the internet. Gross, dude,
they're humans. I definitely don't want that in my algorithms.
Press no, strongly, blake back me up on this, come
(34:52):
on no, oh yeah no, I've seen the sea through top.
That one was all over Twitter bas in a day though, amazing.
I don't care if I don't care if you're a
commie pinko. If you are, she's an attractive woman, yeah
I was, idiots, she's absolutely she's a.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Big, gullible type.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
If you're ever on a date with a check and
she tells you she's a socialist, just smile at her
and go, it's okay. I'm confused about economics too. She's like,
not me, I got an A in home economics. And
then it's mom Donnie in the back, Like mom Donnie.
It sounds like what a non binary person calls their
non binary parents.
Speaker 6 (35:25):
Like five years ago, it had been so easy to
impress her with one hundred dollars dinner, like.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
It was a shoe Jesse, what do you always?
Speaker 2 (35:32):
What do you know is gonna happen when you're on
a date and you figure out she's retarded.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
I'm getting some baby, Yeah, I'm getting bootied in that Blake.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
You're us. You're a smart, muscular, masculine man. Are you single, Yes, yes,
very single. Well, unfortunately for you, attractive women do not
listen to talk radio. This will not be an This
has never gotten me laid once. I don't think it's
gonna start with you. But if it's not gonna happen
to night either of the Improv. But if there is
a way, I gotta think Jesse Old figure it out.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
But we're working on it.
Speaker 6 (36:02):
You don't think Ben's fans are into I don't know.
I imagine it's a lot of those fat Muslims too. Well,
this is is very dark comedy. Tell you that you're
just turning on the radio. First, we apologize to nobody.
Screw you if you were offended by any of our jokes.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
But all that being said, Tonight at the Improv A
night at the Improv with Ben Daniel, one of the
most offensive comedians to walk the streets of Houston, Texas.
And he picked you guys to open for him. That's great.
I'm gonna be there selling drugs in the parking lot.
Come hang with us tonight. If anybody wants what time
is the show? Seven thirty seven thirty Houston Improv a
night at the improv of Ben Daniel.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Blake Jones is on the show.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Also KPRC Walton and Johnson Kinney Webster guest Will Loden
is going to be on the show with Larry Goodwill
and the very funny Keisha Hunt.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I'm Jesse Payton. I'm gonna be hosting the show, y'all.
It's gonna be it's gonna be a great night. I'm
gonna tell you this, and I've never done this for
any of my own shows, but i will tell you
the show is so stacked with tremendous talent that if
you come tonight, tickets were only fifteen bucks. If you
come and do not enjoy the show, I will personally
give you your money back.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I've never done that before. I'm a man of my word.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
People who know me will tell you if you come
and do not have a great time, I will personally
refund your money.
Speaker 5 (37:12):
Not taxes and fees, because I don't. If I don't
pay my taxes, I'm not paying yours. Mar So Houston
Improv Tonight seven thirty. Ben Daniel is performing.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I've been performing with this kid since he first started
for seven years. You do not want to miss it.
Come catch a good show. Fifty dollars for that lineup.
Isn't when I'm the worst comic on the lineup.
Speaker 6 (37:29):
That's saying a lot like it's it's it's insane, it's
an insane.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
And seven thirty means seven thirty. The doors are at
six thirty. There's two black comics on the show. But
I'm starting it so I will be there, so the
show show, the show will start on time.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
The show will start on time always up been at
six thirty.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
And Blake, people need to follow you on social media.
I know they already follow Jesse. It's everywhere. It's comedy Blake, comedy,
comedy Blake.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Super easy to the rest of you, I love you all.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Hopefully we'll see you tonight as he used to and
prov come hang out with us with doors at six thirty.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Shows at seven thirty.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
But if you won't be there tonight, we'll see you
bright and early tomorrow morning.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
For more of what you bought a radio for.
Speaker 7 (38:09):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio. Tell
the government to kiss your ass when you listen to
the show.
The giganon government Sucks. The Suit of Happiness radio is
do us liberty and freedom will make you smile? Or
a suit of happen and us on your radio toil justice, cheeseburgers,
a liberty rise at food.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Scientists have discovered why the t rex had tiny arms
because it never learned to masturbate. We won't be talking
about that today on the show, I promise you. But
you know what else we're not going to talk about
much today on the show. The election. I think everyone's
got election fatigue. We're done with that. That's why at
the bottom of the hour here I'm gonna have a
room filled with foul mouthed comedians stick around for that,
(00:42):
and we're not going to talk too much about hard
news this afternoon.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I thought I just insert some you know what, there's
just old saying.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
They say that smart people talk about ideas, average people
talk about events. Stupid people talk about other people. So
let's talk about ideas and then pretend we'll pretend to
be smart but will be stupid. I guess we'll start here.
Some university wizards, some real smart guys in academia just
dropped a study claiming that jacking up the minimum wage
(01:10):
is basically economic viagra.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
They said. Oh it's great.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It makes everything bigger and harder without any messy side effects,
especially in places overrun by those big, evil, big box
stores like Walmart, where the study says raising wages doesn't
slaughter jobs. Don't worry about that. It might even birth
a few jobs. Okay, in sweet little mom and pop towns.
Well that's where the cashier bloodbath happens, guys. Turns out
(01:37):
this study is wrong, the grand conclusion they claim. Here,
big corporations secretly hoard all the power like dragons on
a pile of gold, and they don't pay workers enough
because poor folks have nowhere else to flip burgers at,
so they have to go to Walmart. Government swoops in
like a caped crusader on a union funded pony and
(01:57):
forces wages sky high, happy ending, no consequences. Right, employment
explodes rainbows far out of the break room vending machines. Yeah,
and I've got ocean front property in Nebraska to sell
you for twenty five bucks an hour plus benefits. You're
gonna love it, everybody. These geniuses carved up American counties
(02:18):
like a divorce lawyer. Dividing the silverware. When they say
big box counties, they're talking about Walmart Country, where the
only local employer bigger than the local meth lab is
the one with the smiley face logo. Mom and pop
counties are your friendly neighborhood spot where the owner still
calls you by your name and probably spots you a
(02:39):
six pack on credit because they know you don't get
paid till Friday, but you just want to drink some
natty like kids, They stared at retail jobs after wage
hikes in Walmart Land, a ten percent bumps supposedly caused
a one point twelve percent point fewer job loss for
clerks versus the rest of the county. Let me translate
(03:00):
that to you, guys, The big evil corporation is secretly
our hero. The university's blasted this like it was the
cure for cancer. Progressive groups waved it around like a
golden ticket to socialist utopia. But here's the first punch
in the face. Those big backs giants were already paying
above minimum wage. Yeah shocker, I know. Nobody's lining up
(03:23):
to push shopping carts for slave wages when they could
be doom scrolling on TikTok. You could just get paid
in welfare. What do you need a job for if
it only pays minimum wage? So the government mandate, the
government mandate barely registers. It's like telling a billionaire to
tip his barista an extra buck. The mom and pop shops,
(03:43):
they're sweating bullets, they're cutting staff, they're eyeing that help
wanted sign like it's a death threat. This study that
claims raising the minimum wage has no negative consequences basically
proves that massive corporations can obs or government stupidity better
than your local hardware store. So if you're a progressive
(04:06):
and you're listening to this, congratulations you've made Walmart even
more unstoppable. Small business owners everywhere just felt to disturbance
in the force. When you raise the minimum wage, the
mom and pop shop can't keep up with it. Walmart
will be fine, buddy. It's amazing how confused they are
(04:27):
out in the real world where actual humans live. California
turned itself into a glorious lab rat. April twenty twenty four,
twenty dollars an hour for fast food workers. Do you
guys remember we talked about that. They said there would
be no job losses. Fast forward a few months, a
couple of years, the body count rolls in something along
(04:48):
the lines of thirty six thousand. Fast food jobs no
longer exist, and now they have robot kiosks. They're multiplying
faster than rabbits and heat. The prices are going up.
The local mom and pop restaurants, yeah, they're boarding up.
They can't afford to compete. The fight for fifteen dollars
an hour became the flight of the fry cooks. Isn't
(05:10):
California great? It's a place where the only thing growing
faster than tent cities is the regret of every business
owner who thought voting for Democrats would help the little guy.
Turns out the little guy is now competing with touch
screens that never call in sick and don't demand bathroom breaks.
A serious deep dive by some careful economists, Newmark and
(05:34):
Shirley reviewed all the trendy post two thousand studies the
Left loves to quote. Seventy nine percent found negative employment effects.
The biggest hits actually affected people like teenagers and young
workers and the less skilled. Suddenly they can't get a
job at all. It's the economic equivalent of curing foot
(05:57):
pain by amputating the lake. Technically it solves the symptom,
but it kind of creates a new problem with worse vibes,
doesn't it. The dirty secret nobody on the left wants
whispered at cocktail parties is that labor markets aren't run
by cartoon villains twirling mustaches and smoke filled boardrooms. Workers
(06:19):
jump jobs more often than a Kardashian change his spouses.
Small businesses get crushed under the regulatory boot, while the
big boys just raise their prices and installs some more
self checkouts and then laugh all the way to the bank.
You wanted to stick it to the man. You just
made the man stronger and killed the dream of opening
(06:41):
your own joint in the little mom and pop town
because now the only thing that can survive there is Walmart.
Talk about peak compassion. Minimum wage hikes are participation trophies
for the workforce. You pat the people already working on
the head with a slightly fatter paycheck. Then you screw
the kid who never gets hired, or the single mom
(07:02):
whose hours evaporate, and every entrepreneur trying to survive without
turning into Skynet. It's government picking winners and losers. With
the subtlety of a drunk guy at a urinal These
flimsy studies get turned into policy gospel faster than you
could say taxpayer funded grant, one marginal statistical blip, a
(07:27):
shiny press release, and suddenly it's settled science justifying another
round of meddling in the economy.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Guys, that's not economics.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
That's economics cosplay with extra virtue and zero accountability. Believe
it or not, I, Kenny Webster, an average guy in
Middle America want people to make more money. I want
him to make more money the honest way. Learn a
skill that matters which jobs, start a business, or here's
a radical concept, show up on time and work your
butt off. That is the American cheat code, not waiting
(07:59):
for some politics to wave a magic wand and pretend
supply and demand took the day off. Every single time
they pull this stunt where the government goes and medals
with what's happening in the free market. The people who
get clobbered the hardests are the ones at the bottom,
the very folks the policy claims to love the most.
(08:23):
It would be funny if it wasn't so tragically predictable.
So next time you hear another study proving minimum wage
hikes are pure win win unicorn farts, do yourself a favor,
grab a calculator, some real world data, pour yourself a
stiff drink. Because the numbers don't lie, but the news headline,
(08:45):
sure as hell do.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
You've got Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness on KPRC nine
point fifty.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Little news from the tech world. Spotify. Y'all know what
Spotify is. It plays music for you. You can now listen
to narrated content from magazines on Spotify.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Do you know what that means?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
It means if you're one of those people who claims
you only get Playboy for the articles, now's your chance
to prove it.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Kiddos.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I've been taking a little break from the hard news today.
I think everybody is electioned out. You got a little
bit of election fatigue, of course you do. We're talking
about theoretic economic theory. I got a little geeky this afternoon. Mean,
you know, my dog's name's Milton Friedman. What do you want?
In the last hour I talked about the minimum wage.
Now I want to talk about the billionaire tax. If
(09:33):
you are waiting for some foul mouthed comedians to walk
into the studio and start making boner jokes. Stick around.
Jesse Payton and a very funny comedian named Blake Jones
will be here at the bottom of the hour. That'll
be a lot of fun. You're gonna love it. In
the meantime, California is about to vote on a billionaire
tax that makes a Vegas casino look like a sound
(09:54):
financial plan. We've heard about these ideas before. It's a
shiny new five percent, one time, just one time. Yeah, sure,
grab on the net worth of anyone with billion dollars
or more at the bad luck of calling the Golden
State home on January first, twenty twenty six. Now, Proponents
of this swear it'll haul in one hundred billion dollars
(10:15):
to solve everything from crumbling schools to that charming fellow
defecating on Market Street. You know in La they just
love to poop in the middle of the street. San
Francisco too, they're having a poop off competition. Here's the issue, folks.
The billionaires have already left Larry Ellison, Google's Larry Page,
Sergey Brinn. They treated Sacramento California like bad Tinder date,
(10:39):
they swiped left for friendlier zip codes. Stanford's Joshua raw
crunched the numbers and figured out after the exodus, you're
looking at maybe forty billion dollars tops. Then subtrack to
the ordinary income taxes. These guys stop paying once they're
sipping Margarita's in Florida or Texas, and that's what the
(11:00):
net result. California could be losing money twenty five billion dollars.
That's not well three distribution. That's economic self fisting with
extra loube labeled compassion. If you don't get that joke,
I'm not going to explain it to you. This tax
is retroactive in the most obnoxious way possible. They don't
(11:22):
care if you fled on January two, if your posterior
warmed a California chair on New Year's Day, you're on
the hook. Lawyers will feast for years, except lawsuits arguing
over whether the guy's dog still had a California driver's
license or if his yacht counted as a legal residence
because it was docked in I don't know Catalina Island
(11:44):
long enough to catch Wi fi are going to be
clogging up the judicial system in California for years to come.
Discovery will involve subpoenas for in and out receipts. Well,
your honor exhibit A proofs he still loved animal style fries,
clearly residency. They call this a one time tax, the
(12:05):
same way I call my New Year's resolution permanent. Buried
in the fine print is a constitutional tweak that nuke's
limits on taxing intangible assets stock spawns that four oh
one K you've been feeding like a sad house plant.
Once they bust that pinata open, every future governor with
(12:27):
a cocaine budget will be back for more. Today's billionaire
special becomes tomorrow's. Hey, your retirement account looks like it's
a little chunky.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Time to share.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
California already treats regular people's savings like in all you
can Eat the fe They've got creative ways of taxing
healthy savings accounts that the Fed's never dreamed of. Sixty
two percent of households have retirement accounts, But what about
the billionaires, Well that's about zero point zhoh one percent.
(12:59):
When this this genius plan underperforms, and it will, the
budget hawks in San Francisco will not cut the waste.
They'll just lower the threshold and start double dipping on
money that's already been taxed once. It's like the government saying, hey,
we took our cut when you earned it. Now we're
taxing it again while it sits there trying not to
die of boredom in a mutual fund. They call this fairness.
(13:24):
I call it the fiscal version of slipping a roofie
in grandma's metamucil. This isn't progressive policy. It's medieval with
better branding, punish success reward the political class that turn
the state with perfect weather and tech money into a
punch line. California is wasted on Californians.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
That's a beautiful state. You ever been there. It's amazing
to me that people are fleeing it as quickly as
they can. Companies bolt jobs, evaporate talent packs up faster
than a cheating husband when the wife finds the hotel receipts.
Pretty soon, the only billionaire left will be the ones
living in a cardboard condo under the one oh one Freeway,
(14:06):
though even they might get taxed on their shopping cart equity.
The spending side is where the real comedy gold lives.
California's budget grows like a TikTok influencer on ozempic withdrawal, fast, sloppy,
and convinced. It's all just muscle deficits balloon while they
(14:27):
lecture us about fairness. These are the same geniuses who
can't keep the lights on without rolling blackouts, but they
think they can micromanage the global wealth supply. Sacramento's idea
of restraint is flying business class to the Climate Summit
instead of private. Their budgets are so bloated a sumo
(14:48):
wrestler would look at them and say, bro lay off
the rice. Enter the competing measure. The Retirement and Personal
Savings Protection Act. Yeah, it's a boring name, but it's
a glorious concept. It slams the door on taxing, retirement accounts,
and personal savings and retroactive shenanigans. It's the constitutional equivalent
(15:12):
of putting a no junk mail, no solicitors, and definitely
no politicians with spread sheets sign up in your window. Finally,
a little protection for the folks who actually work for
a living instead of treating other people's money like an
open bar. Look, the rich can afford to leave they've
got planes, they got second homes, they have accountants who
can hide like Carmen San Diego. What about the middle class?
(15:35):
What about people like you and me? We get stuck
with the mortgage and the kids in those charming public schools,
and the rising property taxes on the house that's now
worth a fortune but feels like a prison. The billionaires
take their ball and their companies and their jobs and
they go play somewhere that doesn't treat success like a
crime scene. California. Is that hot girl at the bar
(16:00):
who keeps raising her standards, adding more tattoos and wondering
why the good ones keep leaving for Miami. Well, the
strippers down there are nicer. Apparently, even the billionaires eventually
say enough and trade the view of the Pacific for
no state income tax and politicians who understand that wealth
is in a dirty magazine. You confiscate when the lifes
(16:21):
are off. This whole scheme is not about justice. It's
about a political class that sucks at money, admitting defeat
and deciding to shake down the golden goose until it
flies south and starts laying eggs for someone else. Vote
for the Savings Protection Measure, tell the billionaire tax to
(16:42):
do what every other failed California experiment eventually does. Packets
designer bags and get the hell out. If this billionaire
tax passes in California, it's going to be terrible for them.
The only thing golden about the state will be the
urine stains on the sidewalk, and even those willably get
a special assessment from the government. Of course, on the
(17:02):
other hand, all that money's got to go somewhere, and
guess where it probably goes.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
You bet it Texas.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
You're listening to Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness. Please, if
you're offended by anything you've heard to get a piece
of paper, write down a detailed description of what bothered you,
and fax it to one eight eight eight. Nobody gives
them all.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Right, breaking news from Hollywood. Drake has forty two songs
on the Hot.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
One hundred right now.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
The last time Drake got to enjoy this many bangers
he was at your kid's prom.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
You know, forty two is three fourteen year olds. That's
probably a minor.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Hey, what the hell?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Who how did all these guys get into my studio?
Blake Jones, you never been here before? Introduce yourself to
the talk radio audience of Houston, Texas. Please, how you doing?
Speaker 6 (17:54):
Blake Jones, local comic, marine veteran Houston program robots been everywhere.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
You look and sound like a guy that would already
be into this. You really do like are the beard,
the military background, the accent, the tinkering with electronics, very
talk Southern nerdy very much? Yeah, yeah, I so weird.
So I don't like cops, you know, Like it's there's
a lot I say, Black Party, black people in the
Tea Party have a lot in common, and it's usually
(18:22):
their skepticism of the government.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Well, and I always tell people I've been woking up
by roosters more in the hood than I ever did
in the country.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Like it's it's a lot of the same same things
I was in jail, so I was woking up by
never mind never.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Jesse, did you look at those letters I handed you?
I began, man, what is this this prison mail? This
looks as familiar, except it's weird being on the receiving end.
Normally you got a dear John letter from Jesse. I
beginning letters is We're on the radio all over the South.
For those that wonder what's going on here. First of all,
we're a bunch of comedians doing a talk radio show.
(18:57):
Come see Jesse and Blake tonight at the Houston Improv.
But our morning show can be heard at a federal
prison in Louisiana where Actually the reason I became friends
with Owen Schroyer previously the Info Wars, was in that
prison listening to us every morning after he got in
prison for something that happened on January sixth. I don't
know what it was all about. Apparently it was a
big news story. But now I'm getting these letters that
(19:19):
Jesse's looking at right now, if you want to hold
those up for the camera day, where are we at?
A prison guard from Rikers Island was accused of killing
a guy and then he got sent to a federal
prison down in Louisiana, And so I looked up his
case because I really wanted to know, like, is he
a good guy?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Was he guilty?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Was the judge gave him a stiffer punishment than what
the prosecutors recommended. And the reason why is because supposedly
after he killed the guy in the prison, he kept
the newspaper clippings as a trophy, and he showed him
off to people. Jesse, you're at a former inmate and
now you're considered to be a conservative, right wing comic.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
What are your thoughts on it?
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Yeah, I turned my life around. Also, Kenny, I who
did he kill?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Hang On? I have the cliff notes here?
Speaker 5 (20:07):
Howse that matters because if you killed your selly because
he was snoring, you're a terrible person. But if you
killed a pedophile, I think you should get clemency on December.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That's what I think too. Yeah, absolutely, yes, that's time
for good behavior, right.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Like, yeah, I want to do I want to do
a Netflix special and Liam Neeson is playing you you
did It.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
December ninth, twenty twelve, Brian Cole an officers responded to
an altercation involving the inmates. Spear, a fifty two year
old pre trial detainium, was seriously ill kidney issues, mental
health problems, mobility issues. Brian Cole, the guard, and others
pinned Spear face down to the floor outside a jail clinic.
While Spear was fully restrained in handcuff, Cole repeatedly kicked
(20:46):
him in the head and chest. Spear died from brain bleeding.
Cole told Spear something to the extent of this is
what you get for effing with me. Later bragged about
the incident, kept the newspaper clippings as a trophy, and
joked about his tear drop tattoo. I interviewed, you guys
know Pimp Squad for Life, Pop hold it down, Donna Goodo.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Have you ever seen this video on the internet.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
No.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
She was a black woman who got arrested in Beaumont
Port Arthur and as they were walking her ound of
the jail, she said.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Pimp Squad, hold it down, Pop Mama, I love you.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
She went viral. They said in the news she got murdered.
So I went to the prison and I interviewed her.
The Woman's prison in near Waco is where it's at,
and I asked her what the tear drop tattoos meant.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
And that was a very touchy subject.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Blake, Apparently you're not supposed to ask inmates about their
tear drop tattoos. Why, Like, if you're if you're shouting
it out, you want to be not like you got
you have to talk about it, right Like people ask
me what mine mean and it's it's nothing.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I let my friends draw me.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Who Yeah, nothing says don't ask about a tattoo on
my face.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Jersey. Now there's white rappers.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
It's called a SoundCloud wrapper, and they're getting face tattoos
but not getting the body tattoos because they want Usually
you graduate to this, but these are guys. They're wearing
their street where and they're like, just get the face tattoos,
you know, jump the shark.
Speaker 6 (22:03):
I've seen that, and I've seen the guys getting anesthesia
to get like full body pieces, which I hate.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Like count, No, it's it's done, doesn't count. That's like
consensual jail house sex. Yeah, you don't get to say yes,
thank you, Jesse. Jesse's been to prison.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
Yes, Well, I want to go back to the guy
who was killed in prison, the guy that he killed.
He was handcuffed, he was thrown on the ground, he
was kicked in the face, stomped over and over.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
But that happened in twenty twelve.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
A similar incident happened in twenty twenty where that inmate
died of COVID. So I want to be clear that
wear your face mask people sounds familiar, all right?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
With that in mind, speaking of street crowd, we now
take you from that to this conservatives do this thing
where whenever there's a celebrity running towards them, they like
open their arms.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Scott bail we need you.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I don't know why right wingers do this, but they're
putting together the lineup here for the Great American State
Fair going from Une twenty fifth to July tenth, and
the National Mall. It will include Martina McBride, Brett Michael's
Flow Rider, the Commodore CNC Music Factory, Young mc mars
day in the time.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Said they won't have anything to do with this.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I don't know why you put us on the flyer,
but Vanilla Ice in half of MILLI Vanilli, you will
be there half of mill didn't some of these guys
like die of aids or kill themselves or why is this?
Is this appealing to you as a military event? This
is to tribute you? No, No, it was Otis Redding
busy what happened?
Speaker 7 (23:31):
Like?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
This is?
Speaker 6 (23:33):
This is an open mic lineup, dude, Mike, this better
be a This is a free show, I would assume
right in the National Mall.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, to celebrate two hundred and fifty years of America.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Now, you were in the military, you were in a
very important uh with great tradition, and this is how
they honor you, Blake.
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Oh, I feel so honored. I was who who put
the I need to know who produced this lineup? That's
this is awful. Like you don't have what's the Lee Greenwood?
You couldn't get a Lee green bill?
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, it does look like a who's not who? All right?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I think about that. I have beef with Lee Greenwood.
I really I was hitting on Kathy Lee Gifford once,
who wouldn't And Lee Greenwood kept interrupting our conversation because
they were trying to take a photo together. I hate
Lee Greenwood, But Jesse, you were in a government institution
of starts.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
What's your take on this? Yeah? Well, I mean I.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Don't take an exception with any of these guys individually,
Like if you had one show with the Commodores, it'd
be like, that's fine, or one show with Brett Michaels.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Which this is a true story, Kenny.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
I went with a twenty year old girl on a
date to the Cynthia Woods Pavilion last week to watch
Yeah Yeah, yeah. I was killing it at twelve, And
this is how I knew she was too young for me.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
This is a true story. Right after my divorce.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
I was forty, she was nineteen or twenty, and we
went to see def Leppard and Poison at the Pavilion.
I thought it'd be great, and then she Bret Michaels
is on stage. She looks at me and goes, that
guy looks like the guy from Rock of Love. I've
never wanted to cut I spent nine years in prison
and never wanted to cut my wrists so bad as
sitting next to this child, I was like, this is
(25:08):
out of control.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I feel like I'm babysitting right now. Can we mix
this with the UFC fight at the White House?
Speaker 6 (25:12):
Though? And this happens to be fights to the death,
but your career's over after that.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I actually think Blake, that saves the idea. That's great.
Who's gonna wait it?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
In line? What does Milly Vanilli even do? Cancel this thing?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
They had a scandal because they didn't sing their own music,
and now we're supposed to believe this is a great
honor to celebrate America. The fakest thing, the biggest scandal
of the late twentieth century in music. One of these
guys was so humiliated he killed himself. But now the
one who's alive is gonna honor America by what lip
singing their songs both parts?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Sorry, that's right, that's a great question. Is so good?
And then is this a TikTok thing? Is that? What
did TikTok make this socially acceptable? Blake?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It has to Yeah, no, every this is how this
is our brain rot.
Speaker 7 (26:05):
This is the.
Speaker 5 (26:07):
Remix all their songs to be politically charged, like Milli
Vanilly's gonna do. Instead of blame it on the rain,
it's blame it on the liberals. Do they do the
AI version of Tupaca.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Ice?
Speaker 5 (26:20):
It's like ice ice baby, but they're real ice agents.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Come out.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Every Every baby has their pronouns, just like every polyamorous
person has five chubby boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Is that poison Brent Mike Michaels, Yeah, I think it is.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
It is.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I think he nailed that.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
That's the thing I was excited about. Here was Morris
Day in the time. I would have seen Morris Day
in the time. Yeah, there's Morris Day in the time. Rocks, dude,
that jungle up and old. Now, so it's Morris Day
and then not so much time left? You assume with
this many people. They're all going to do what three songs?
What other two is Vanilla Ice gonna do? It's a
(27:05):
good question. Well the turtle thing, yeah, the Ninja Turtle
Power Ice Ice Baby, and then what else did he have?
I guess he does a rock version and a rap
version of that song. That sucks, guys. I went to
the Wu Tang Clan going away concert. They play all
their famous songs. Then at the end of the concert
they do a medley of all the songs you just
heard that ends with, for some reason, a rap version
(27:26):
of smells like Team Spirit. When that kicked in, I
turned to my buddy and I was like, let's get
to the parking lot before the crowd leaves.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Will beat the ride, Yeah, the traffic And it worked,
by the way. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
I went to a going away party for Diddy and
it was a freak off and they played They played
a pin the tail on the honky and I was
the honky and you guys new slash Black guys don't
have tails.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That game sucked. You learned that the hard way.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Kenny Webster the best looking dude on radio, And if
you've seen the competition, that's not saying a whole hell
of a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
We were just talking about technology off the air. Police
in California can now give speeding tickets and driving citations
to robotaxis. The thing is they won't because robotaxis are
white apparently, so they'll be fine. Blake, would you take
a ROBOTAXI have you've been in a weimo yet?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
No, I'm not getting in.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
I won't even getting a Tesla driven by my friend, Like,
I'm not getting in one of these. They will try,
like I'm terrified, like too many bad mushroom trips to
where I have too much paranoia to trust any robot
to get me somewhere.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Yeah, I could just imagine like being an off duty
Uber driver and getting a way Mo and seeing like
a robot taking your job. Like that was the first
time I saw my wife use a sex toy. I
was like, this marriage is never gonna last. I can't
do that, Jesse.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Last time you were here, we looked at the Pentagon
papers that were just released that detailed what a UFO
looked like, and you pointed out that it looked like
what was it a massage? Wand was at it? It
didn't look We saw one in your girlfriend's dresser drawer.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Yeah, I didn't know what I thought it was a
curling iron, but it buzzed at me.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
And apparently they fly to Hey live in the studio
right now, the very hilarious Blake Jones, never been here before.
Awesome having you in the studio. My good buddy Jesse
Payne and I are on the road all the time,
going out telling jokes for rednecks guys.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Who look like Blake Jones.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
But you guys are both performing at the Improv tonight
with this gentleman right here on our TV screen.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
This is Ben Daniel a night at the Improv.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
You guys that a great upcoming comic is headlining the
biggest comedy club in Texas tonight and you guys are
opening up for him.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
What's that all about? Yeah, I've known Ben for almost
twenty years now.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
I knew Ben when we were playing poker together and
he was a drug addict who's turned his life around
and started doing comedy full time. And funny thing about
Ben is he actually did it on a dare because
there was a terrible comic who coined himself the fat
alcoholic Muslim and those were the three most redeemable things
about him who was awful, and Ben was like, hey,
you're trash on Facebook and the guy was doing comedy
(29:58):
until Ben, will you come do it tomorrow at the
Improv And Ben actually did it. No, he wrote three
minutes and did not bomb, and he did well, and
he came and did that. And then obviously for Blake,
you can attest any comedy.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Whoever goes up there and gets that first shot of
endorphins after doing comedy, he was hooked. And the dude
has committed his life to sobriety and doing comedy and
he's one of my best friends, and he's giving me
the honor to actually open for him in retrospect. So
I'm excited to do that for him to night. If
he's in Improv. Fat Muslims are welcome to attend the
show tonight. If I'm not mistaken, it's I know it's Eyed.
(30:31):
You celebrate Eyed a Lada, which is a very important.
It's the end of ramadon tonight. You must have big plans, Blake,
what are you doing for Ramadan?
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Eating?
Speaker 6 (30:39):
Yeah, we're bringing it fast, We're eating, We're celebrating Ben.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah, I'm doing a long lunch.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I'm going to Jason's Deli for all you can eat,
and I play to stay there all during the sun.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
So yeah, it's gonna be a Ramadan Bambadan. No, this
is ben scrabble.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
He'll be fine, yes, yes, all right, Well with that
in mind, a pair Carently, since it is the end
of eyed or eat or whatever it's called, goats we're
found roaming the streets of Dearborn, Michigan. We have a
video of this in the studio we're watching right now
for those of you listening on the radio, we're live
streaming on the internet. And so that's what we're reacting to.
This was Muslim OnlyFans.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
On the morning.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
On the Morning Show today, mister O pointed out one
of my cos it's a white goat that's leading two
black goats. Now that's that's what Martin Luther King Junior
dreamed about that. But along comes a redneck on a
motorcycle to kind of I don't know what he was
doing here, shepherd them out of traffic. This seems crazy
(31:41):
that there were goats running. You know, they sacrifice goats
as part of ID It's a ritualistic sacrifice that's part
of their culture. Blake, Now you were said to the
Mid East to fight these people. But now that you've
learned more about it, do you appreciate it more? Do
you regret shooting at Muslims? No, not at all. But
I did not leave San Diego. I was one of
lucky Marines I got. I got stationed in San Diego,
(32:02):
never left. And they call it Hollywood Marines on the
East Coast call so even though it's obviously not, but
that's what that's the way their way of denigrating you guys.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (32:10):
Sorry, I got stationed at the beach. I got to
bang porn stars. Oh I didn't have to go to
South Carolina or North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Our afternoon host Jesse Kelly, not to be confused with
Jesse Peyton, with the Marine, and he says, you can
always tell when a military veteran is in the army
because they banged fat chicks.
Speaker 6 (32:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, you have to what we call hogin
whale and one of them, we'd all throw twenty bucks
in the hat.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
At the beginning, I thought it was code switching. And
then Jesse, how do you know if they were in
the Navy because they have semen on their face. That
probably makes perfect sense. Anyways, obviously we're all very excited
about ID.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
This is our ID segment this afternoon. Check out this
chad right here. This is a photo from Scotland. It
was a boy scout troop was said to visit a
mosque as part of a field trip apparently, and one
boy Scott would not get down and do the Islamic prayer.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
He said no.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
This reminds me of that photo of the one guy
that wouldn't salute Hitler.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
I just did it on camera. Someone's gonna take a screenshot.
There's contacts, so they.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Get a point that you shouldn't salute Hitler. We all
seen that famous photo of the guy. It's all the
Nazis and there's one guy with his arms crossed. Is
this the like the like the Judeo Christian equivalent of
that in twenty first century?
Speaker 6 (33:27):
This is amazing, dude, Like, this is a real leader
being born right here. You're you're witnessing a boy become
a man. Like I'm not putting up with this.
Speaker 5 (33:35):
Actually, he looks like he just throw a bunch of
cocaine on the ground for some drug adds.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Well, here you go, same energy.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Someone's saying he's basically the guy that wouldn't there you go,
I'm not the only person to think of it. I
just noticed this was in the comments sex This isn't Scotland. Yeah,
they got there too, Bro, It's worse there. It's vastly worse.
If you it is like this guy's it is the
canary in the mine shaft. What is taking place right
now in and what is going on right now? And
if you think white liberal women from the suburbs hate
(34:05):
your jokes, way, don't you hear Muslims react to them Muslims.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
At Scotland or smoking the bagpipes. It's gonna become the
Ieed festival over the That's it.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
But one person who is fully on board with this
is a double D congresswoman whose but is actually surprisingly
flat to spy what Alex Steins told us on the internet.
U AOC did an event with Zorhan mom Donnie recently
and war ahead job.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
And look how beautiful she is.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Zorhan feels he's made a great accomplishment here by getting
the towel on AOC's head. Kind of you know the
worst part about this, all of it. You can Jesse,
you can look up her brass eyes on the internet. Gross, dude,
they're humans. I definitely don't want that in my algorithms.
Press no, strongly, blake back me up on this, come
(34:52):
on no, oh yeah no, I've seen the sea through top.
That one was all over Twitter bas in a day though, amazing.
I don't care if I don't care if you're a
commie pinko. If you are, she's an attractive woman, yeah
I was, idiots, she's absolutely she's a.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Big, gullible type.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
If you're ever on a date with a check and
she tells you she's a socialist, just smile at her
and go, it's okay. I'm confused about economics too. She's like,
not me, I got an A in home economics. And
then it's mom Donnie in the back, Like mom Donnie.
It sounds like what a non binary person calls their
non binary parents.
Speaker 6 (35:25):
Like five years ago, it had been so easy to
impress her with one hundred dollars dinner, like.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
It was a shoe Jesse, what do you always?
Speaker 2 (35:32):
What do you know is gonna happen when you're on
a date and you figure out she's retarded.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
I'm getting some baby, Yeah, I'm getting bootied in that Blake.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
You're us. You're a smart, muscular, masculine man. Are you single, Yes, yes,
very single. Well, unfortunately for you, attractive women do not
listen to talk radio. This will not be an This
has never gotten me laid once. I don't think it's
gonna start with you. But if it's not gonna happen
to night either of the Improv. But if there is
a way, I gotta think Jesse Old figure it out.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
But we're working on it.
Speaker 6 (36:02):
You don't think Ben's fans are into I don't know.
I imagine it's a lot of those fat Muslims too. Well,
this is is very dark comedy. Tell you that you're
just turning on the radio. First, we apologize to nobody.
Screw you if you were offended by any of our jokes.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
But all that being said, Tonight at the Improv A
night at the Improv with Ben Daniel, one of the
most offensive comedians to walk the streets of Houston, Texas.
And he picked you guys to open for him. That's great.
I'm gonna be there selling drugs in the parking lot.
Come hang with us tonight. If anybody wants what time
is the show? Seven thirty seven thirty Houston Improv a
night at the improv of Ben Daniel.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Blake Jones is on the show.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Also KPRC Walton and Johnson Kinney Webster guest Will Loden
is going to be on the show with Larry Goodwill
and the very funny Keisha Hunt.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I'm Jesse Payton. I'm gonna be hosting the show, y'all.
It's gonna be it's gonna be a great night. I'm
gonna tell you this, and I've never done this for
any of my own shows, but i will tell you
the show is so stacked with tremendous talent that if
you come tonight, tickets were only fifteen bucks. If you
come and do not enjoy the show, I will personally
give you your money back.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I've never done that before. I'm a man of my word.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
People who know me will tell you if you come
and do not have a great time, I will personally
refund your money.
Speaker 5 (37:12):
Not taxes and fees, because I don't. If I don't
pay my taxes, I'm not paying yours. Mar So Houston
Improv Tonight seven thirty. Ben Daniel is performing.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I've been performing with this kid since he first started
for seven years. You do not want to miss it.
Come catch a good show. Fifty dollars for that lineup.
Isn't when I'm the worst comic on the lineup.
Speaker 6 (37:29):
That's saying a lot like it's it's it's insane, it's
an insane.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
And seven thirty means seven thirty. The doors are at
six thirty. There's two black comics on the show. But
I'm starting it so I will be there, so the
show show, the show will start on time.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
The show will start on time always up been at
six thirty.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
And Blake, people need to follow you on social media.
I know they already follow Jesse. It's everywhere. It's comedy Blake, comedy,
comedy Blake.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Super easy to the rest of you, I love you all.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Hopefully we'll see you tonight as he used to and
prov come hang out with us with doors at six thirty.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Shows at seven thirty.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
But if you won't be there tonight, we'll see you
bright and early tomorrow morning.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
For more of what you bought a radio for.
Speaker 7 (38:09):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio. Tell
the government to kiss your ass when you listen to
the show.
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