Light The Fight

Light The Fight

Heidi Swapp, a wife, mom, entrepreneur and influencer of women, teams up with David Kozlowski, a licensed marriage and family therapist to create a podcast that brings light to tough topics related to personal and family relationships. This unlikely duo was brought together by the death of Heidi’s son Cory, who passed away from suicide in July of 2015. Heidi and David discuss information, tools and strategies that have helped her these past few years to learn, grow and understand the complexities of these relationships. Heidi is not a typical mom, and David is not a typical therapist. The unique combination of relatable info, sense of humor and honest expression through personal stories makes this show a ‘must listen’ for parents who are genuinely looking for help to connect with their kids, and improve the quality of their relationships.

Episodes

March 1, 2018 32 min
Welcome to the first episode of the “Light the Fight” podcast! In this first episode, David and Heidi introduce themselves and talk about how and why they met. Since that time, Heidi has been learning more about the mental and emotional challenges that we all face and how they influence our relationships. Heidi has experienced first hand, the worry and fear of having a teen struggling with these challenges, and not knowing how to ...
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As a 40-something, mother-of-five … Heidi was surprised to learn that there was a major difference between “guilt” and “shame”. In episode 2, Heidi explains how learning about this distinction was a major light bulb moment, and opened her understanding to not only her kid’s struggles… but also her own. David explains what he calls “the shame game”, and discusses 2 kinds of vulnerability. Learn how to diffuse the power of shame thr...
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March 8, 2018 39 min
Heidi named this episode “shame in motion” because she shares a personal story about the moment that all of the information that she had been learning about the “Shame Game” crossed over from a theoretical concept, to an actual TOOL for improving an important relationship. David explains how he helped Heidi turn a blow up, into an opportunity for connection to strengthen that relationship! Learn how to adjust your perception of y...
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David has been telling both kids and adults for years that “connection is the kryptonite for depression” , and this is exactly what he taught to Heidi, her husband and son during their first counseling session. In episode #4, Heidi and David discuss the challenges and importance of creating real connections. Since social media and our virtual relationships aren’t going away anytime soon, what are some ways that we can encourage an...
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March 15, 2018 56 min
In Episode 5, David recaps an important TOOL that he taught at the live “First Responder” event last week. This important skill helps parents to create a connection with kids and “RELATE”, in order to initiate productive conversations about important topics, as well as regular day to day interaction. Heidi shares a critical moment that she was able to put this instruction into action, and witness the benefit of using “statements” i...
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This episode of “Light the Fight” podcast gets into some secrets of David’s for helping people work through their problems in certain situations. Parents’ instinct is to jump right into problem-solving mode with their kids when they are faced with difficult situations. Find out how to give space and allow connection to foster finding solutions, rather than delivering lectures!
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March 22, 2018 37 min
In Episode #7, Heidi talks about the importance of recognizing the motivations behind your actions. Understanding why you (as a parent) do what you do, will help you to attach appropriate expectations for their response to your actions. Ultimately, we talk about separating our expectations, and motivations from the way that we show and give love and appreciation for one another.

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We invite your questions, and feedback at “Light the Fight”… The DMs #001 is the first dedicated “DM” episode where David and Heidi read a question that has been submitted, and answer it specifically. In this question, a concerned mom shares that her daughter has faced some difficult times, and is now very disconnected seems unwilling to seek help. She asks what can she do now? This feels like a very common concern from parents w...
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How can you make sure that your kids know they did something wrong without losing your temper, and getting MAD? Sometimes parents may feel that it’s their responsibility to SHOW kids how upset they are to ensure kids are aware they are in trouble! David teaches: “the more you blow up, the less you follow up”! Find out what that means, and how to build relationships even when you are mad.
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David and Heidi respond to the “DM’s”. This particular question has come in from several people… different situations and scenarios, but the question is very similar: how can I motivate my once self-motivated child? David’s advice goes hand in hand with the discussion from episode 8. Find out how to put your relationships first, and increase your influence as a parent.
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April 10, 2018 71 min
Heidi brings a big question to David about helping anyone that is struggling with depression. However, she admits that the conversation doesn't go how she thought it would… and this episode really became an important discussion about how important it is to EVOLVE faster, and with more intention in making and building relationships.

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Email questions to lightthefightpodcast@gmail.com

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April 19, 2018 60 min
In a world that demands to be defined as one or the other: “yes or no”, “right or wrong”, “true or false”, “up or down”, “good or bad”… Episode 10 discusses a third option.
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David and Heidi respond to the DM’s! This time they discuss the struggle that happens between siblings! How do you get siblings to connect and communicate? David shares a great suggestion that you can start now to help build relationships in your family.
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April 27, 2018 57 min
The natural inclination that we feel as parents is to SAVE our children from things that might cause them HURT and PAIN! In this episode, Heidi remembers some valuable advice that David gave to her in a session they had 3 years ago. This information was hard for Heidi to hear because she felt so hard-wired to protect her son from his own choices. It’s ok to allow our kids to experience the hurt and pain associated with their action...
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In DM #004, Heidi reads a question from a mom who is concerned about her son’s "video game” to "real friends" ratio! David’s suggestion for approaching this very common issue, might not be what you expect! Would you believe David says “games first”?
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May 3, 2018 63 min
David and Heidi dig deeper into the Guilt vs. Shame concept! Specifically, about the power and importance of "Best Friending" yourself...
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Understanding the vital difference between “victim vulnerability” and “assertive vulnerability” is an absolute game changer in building relationships and creating connections. David explains (and demonstrates) the difference between the two types, giving an important clarity that can otherwise be misunderstood. Learn to spot examples of these two opposite approaches in your life, and how to become more ASSERTIVELY vulnerable in all...
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In this DM, David and Heidi are asked a very serious question. "What to do When a Boy Threatens Suicide When Your Daughter Doesn't Like Him?" We give three different options on how to handle this situation.

You can DM us at @lightthefight on social media, David @DavidKoz, Heidi @HeidiSwapp and you can email us at lightthefightpodcast@gmail.com
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This episode was originally filmed as part of a LIVE stream on Instagram and Facebook! David and Heidi discuss the concept of how we influence those around us by ourselves being MIRRORS that others see themselves in. How do we reflect back? How can we create a more positive reflection for those we come in contact with?
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David and Heidi discuss how you can help someone understand the struggles you are going through and the struggles your kids are going through when they can't personally relate.

In this episode, David discusses the book, "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions" by Johann Hari

You can purchase that book here: https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-U...
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