The Shadow Side to Monogamy
August 3, 2018•49 min
There is a Shadow Side to Monogamy! For all its good— sense of security, continuity, deep knowing of your partner— there’s a mythos and fairytale ideal that society encourages us to follow, one which can leave us feeling broken in our relationships like a record stuck on repeat. We keep trying the same things over and over and get the same unfulfilling results.
This fantasy of ‘perfect partnership’ foisted upon us has deep roots. But how relevant is it today, when we know that partnerships are not necessarily life-long, or exclusive? When we experience cheating, a breakup, or the opening of a relationship, a struggle starts between our hearts and minds.
That struggle can result in feelings of shame, an experience of being emotionally frozen. You may feel like you can’t respond to things you know you should. It might interrupt your flow of communication, or keep you from feeling like you can freely express yourself. You might even find that you are unconsciously self-sabotaging yourself.
This struggle is the “Monogamy Hangover”.
Side note: Keep in mind this is anti-mythology, not anti-monogamy, so people wanting to do conscious monogamy can benefit from this work, not just poly/open people.
Discover how to break free from this struggle through:
– How to navigate relationships outside of co-dependent-style norms
– Prescriptive vs descriptive relationships: what are the unspoken assumptions and expectations we have when we get into a relationship?
– Exploring our stories about relationships and how they hold us back
– Identifying what we really want and the difference between a desire at the surface, and the deep longing at our core.
– Knowing our boundaries
– and so much more!
MELINA CASSIDY | RADICAL RELATIONSHIP COACHING
With two decades of experience teaching and facilitating in groups small and large, Mel has a reputation for innovation, novelty, and being able to guide others to think— and live— outside the box.
The grandchild of refugees, Mel has lived on three continents. She has professional experience in theater, education, special needs, management, holistic wellness, psychology, counseling, meditation, somatics, and yoga— all of which she applies within her coaching and mentoring.
Taking a trauma-informed approach, Mel helps individuals around the world discover new dimensions of their relationships to themselves and the people in their lives. A respected teacher and presenter, she created the Monogamy Detox course for individuals who want to navigate alternative approaches to intimate relationships and is currently writing her first book.
Mel is queer, loves cats, and experiences her relationships as a solo polyamorous individual. She lives on the traditional and unceded Coast Salish territories of K’ómoks in British Columbia, Canada.
CONNECT WITH MELINA!