April 18, 2026 • 22 mins
Rand Selig, an accomplished entrepreneur, coach, scoutmaster, board member, and roll-up-your-sleeves conservationist, shares his extensive expertise in this book. With an MBA from Stanford and undergraduate degrees in mathematics and psychology, he excels at managing complex projects globally. He is relentlessly positive and believes he can design his own life and others can, too. Based in Mill Valley, California, he enjoys life's adventures with his wife of 43 years. Rand's website: https://www.randselig.com/ Show notes: https://successgrid.net/sg266/ If you love this show, please leave a review. Go to https://ratethispodcast.com/successgrid Join AI Marketers Club: https://www.successgridacademy.com/3a30d0c6
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hallo, I welcome to the Success Great Podcast with Also Stale.
I'm excited to introduce you to a series of conversations
with some of the most successful and sparing individuals from
various industries.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
My aim is to.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Dive into their stories behind their success and explore the knowledge, strategies, habits, mindsets,
and wisdom that have propelled their success. Each hibishude of
the Success Great Podcast will feature a different guest who
will share their unique journey, the challenges they faced, and
the reasons they have learned along the way. I would
also be covering topics from entrepreneurship and innovation to leadership
(00:34):
and personal development. Whether you are inspiring entrepreneur, a seasoned
business profession, or just someone looking to improve your life,
the Success Great Podcast is for you. My goal is
to bring you valuable insights and inspiration that will help
you achieve your own success in business and life. So
get ready to learn and be inspired. The Success Great
(00:54):
Podcast starts now and this episode of the Success Great
Podcast I have with me Ryan to talk about being
the author of your own story and thrive and how
to create a healthier, heavier, and more prosperous life.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Rand is an accomplished entrepreneur, coach, scout master and board
member with an MBA from Stanford and undergraduate degree in
mathematics and psychology. He excels at managing complex projects globally.
He is relentestly positive and believes he can design his
own life and he can.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Help others do the same.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Rand will come to this episode of the Success Greed podcast.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Thank you who's saying? For having me as your guest.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Thank you for joining me so first forward, because this
is the Success Greed podcast, and you are the author
of your own story, as our listeners would be the
authors of their own stories. What the success means to
you and what do you see other people have certain
misconceptions around the successes.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
It's a fantastic opening question, who's saying? You know, I
think a lot of people around the world struggle with
that concept of what does success mean? And I firmly
believe that defining success should be a very personal thing
and we shouldn't just buy into what the media and
other people are saying, which largely means success is about
(02:16):
financial things. I think it's much much bigger than that.
Of course, doing well financially is important, but you have
to know your limits. You have to know when enough
is enough, because success means having a number of things
going on, including having strong, deep, and enduring relationships with others,
(02:38):
having a great relationship with yourself, taking care of yourself
physically and mentally, being a lifelong learner, being emotionally healthy,
having gratitude. There's a whole complex of things that are involved.
And I've met a lot of people, you know, with
my company, I've worked with a lot of real, really
(03:00):
talented CEOs and founders and I helped them sell their
companies and that added some more tips to their financial pile.
But a lot of them were not successful. Why because
all around them were failed relationships, failed relationships with partners,
(03:21):
or in their personal lives. They were not successful in
my view.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
So do you think I have it's a great rule
in us being successful and defining what success is to
us as a humans.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Well, I yes, I agree with that that habits are important.
But before you create a habit, and especially when you're
doing something important like defining what's important in your life,
you have to do some deep thinking of who you are,
what you stand for, what you won't stand for, what
your values are, what your aspirations are, what your talents are.
(04:00):
There are many many important questions what kind of personality
do you have? And from there then you can say, ah,
I'm good at this, I'm strong at this. I'm going
to move forward with some continuing some good habits. And
if you're not so strong a certain areas, but you'd
like to be strong, you know, you've got to work
at that. It's life is a process that benefits those
(04:24):
people who are disciplined and willing to do the work.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
So you mentioned like discovering ourselves basically, see what we
stand for, what we don't stand for, what we accept,
what don't we accept. Do you think that people generally,
when we are speaking to ourselves in the middle, are
we that honest with ourselves?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Honesty? Well, of course, of course there's a range some people.
I mean, one of the most powerful things we have
in our lives is our ability to rationalize. And so
you could look in that mirror and say, wow, I'm terrific,
when in fact, the history your record is not so great.
You've you've messed up, You've you've not not achieved that much.
(05:10):
You've you've maybe been a bad person in certain ways,
and hurt some people along the way, and and you've
made a lot of mistakes. That's all possible. We've all
made mistakes and so on. So the question of honesty
is something that is a quality, a quality of toughness.
(05:31):
You have to be able to say, Okay, I'm honest,
that I am good but not great. And the reason why,
what's the missing part is this And now over the
next cycle of time, I'm gonna work harder at that.
I'm committed to being the best person I can be.
I'm gonna be committed to be authentic and and honest
(05:54):
and a person of integrity, those kinds of things. And
so a lot of people are not honest. Yes, I
have to say that's true, and I think they suffer
for that lack of honesty.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
So to go from, like you mentioned, from being good
to being great, we have to take accept any steps
and ourselves so that we can develop as humans and
turn ourselves into our best self because eventually, but the
issue is, like most of us, like you mentioned earlier,
we generally go for we want our money. We don't
(06:27):
look at other aspects of life, being grateful, or being
have authenticity, being honest, these things that are actually human
driven features that only humans can have. So how does
that affect us to have to be the best versions
of ourselves? And of course being a version the best
(06:50):
version of ourselves does not come in a twenty four
hours day, twenty four hour day.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
It's basically a process, right.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Very much, so, very much so. Well, I think in
my walk through life, I've met a lot of people
who are very wealthy. This is, you know, the world
I live in, with the investment banking world, a lot
of very very wealthy people. And that's allowed me to
look closely at what they're about. And you know, the
(07:18):
yard stick I use is my personal yard stick, and
it could be different than the next person. It could
be and that's fine. I mean, that's what makes life interesting.
But I have to say a lot of these very
wealthy people just don't know when enough is enough, and
they don't they don't do a lot with the talent
and the resources they've accumulated over time. Again my judgment.
(07:41):
And you know, for a lot of people who have
a lot of talent, they've risen up, they've had some
great experiences, they've had a lot of responsibilities. What are
they doing with that besides accumulating more. Are they on boards,
are they volunteering, are they mentoring? What do they do
going out in the world to make not only the
(08:03):
world better, but in turn they become better people too.
And the people who do that, who have amassed resources
and great experiences, who then are generous with their time
and their money, to me, they are much better people,
(08:23):
and they're more interesting to be with.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
They're attractive people.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Speaking of thriving in a world full of distractions, I guess,
and we want as a humans to design our life
to be our best life and be our best self.
Is there some kind of see maybe some kind of
pointers or framework that each human should focus on and
put these into paper and then try to implement them
(08:49):
into actions so they would know that they are progressing
and having steps for it.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Well, I absolutely have to say emphatically yes to that.
This is actually the genesis of why wrote my book Thriving.
I realize that people have a huge amount of power,
a power to make choices in their lives, choices about
how they spend their time and who they spend their
(09:15):
time with, and even their feelings, choices about feelings, and
this power can be used in marvelous ways to get
them on the pathway to reaching their potential, to thriving,
to being happy, to being successful, the way they choose
to be successful and healthy and happy and prosperous. Those
(09:41):
are pretty good things to have.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
You mentioned, which is very important things that actually the
only thing that we have here on that is we
cannot get back you if you have a choice, well
not a choice, if you don't have a choice to
do one thing that would positively impact your life and
the ghost of time.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
What is that that you would do?
Speaker 5 (10:05):
I'll answer that by giving a little background. About fifteen
years ago, I woke up one morning and I said, Wow,
I am living a great life. What could make it better?
And I very quickly realized to have deeper and more
enduring relationships. So I went through my list of friends
(10:27):
and I picked six people. They happen to be all males,
although I have many female friends too, and I said,
I am going to see if I can't have a
deeper relationship with them. And then I figured out the
thing I have to do is become more vulnerable. They
probably saw me as a guy who didn't have any
chinks in the armor, and so I said, okay, I
(10:49):
need to talk to them and tell them stuff I'm
worried about, and maybe asked their advice. And I also realized,
of these six people, I didn't I think anybody would say,
oh RAN's so weird, We're not going to be a
friend of his anymore. But I did think that there
was a possibility the needle would not move and that
the relationship would not change. Well, I'm delighted to report
(11:12):
it didn't take very long, a few months, but five
out of six of those people became much better friends,
deeper friends. They began telling me things that they were
considered about, stories I'd known them for your stories I'd
never heard from them before, and vice versa. And so
to answer the current question, what would I do, I
(11:33):
would do more of that. I would do more of that. Also,
I last year came down with a what's commonly called
an arthritic flare. Affected my arms and my shoulders and
my back really painful. For the first time in my life,
I was not sleeping well. So I decided I was
(11:57):
going to really engage to not only get back to
the shape I was before this art critic Claire, but
even five years the way I was physically with strength
and stability five maybe even ten years before, and so
I've been undertaking that and that's a time commitment.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Every day.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Every day I'm taking time with stretching and strength stuff
and running and oh it's dramatic the improvement that it is.
So I've accomplished that I'm on the road to being
this younger person because my body has responded so well
(12:37):
to this extra attention, the extra investment I'm making.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
You mentioned being like your story there fisteen years ago
you mentioned vulnerability with others. So being vulnerable some people
see it is a bad thing. What actually opened up
the hearts of the people around you and yourself to
tell more things or more stories, and that created I
would say, maybe more trust things, which is very important
(13:03):
for us as the humans.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
So this is a very important thing to have.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Trust is a bedrock component and a and a high
quality relationship. And I say the most important relationship we
have in our lives is the one with ourselves. And
I'm surprised when I come across people from time to
time who do not trust themselves. So if you trust yourself,
it will help you to trust others, to accept them
(13:31):
for who they are, to you know, engage with them
with more openness and more honesty, and to say, hey, look,
it's not as if I'm a perfect human being. I
don't know that person exists. I've not met them. But
I'm okay with who I am, and I'm okay with
(13:52):
continuing to look and work at becoming an even better person.
It's one of my one of my purposes.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Trusting ourselves is very Others is important, and trusting ourselves
is also even more important because that will help us
make better choices for ourselves. So, because life is generally
about choices, abc Z, whatever, So that will make us
more courageous. And I think the definition of a leader
(14:22):
and we should all be leaders of ourselves first, right
to have the courage and the trust ourselves to make choices,
and even if these choices we were wrong.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
We make these choices.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
So that's very important.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
I am so happy you brought up the concept of leadership.
Leadership is something we do with ourselves and it's something
we do with others. There's two parts of that. And
it's important also to distinguish between leadership and management. We
use those terms interchange when in fact they're really very
(15:00):
very different things. Uh, Stephen Covey the Great Stephen Covey wrote.
At one point he said, uh, management is operational efficiency
in climbing the ladder to achievement. Leadership is making sure
the ladder's on the right wall. And I think that's
(15:20):
really important as we as we go back to your
your basic point, as leaders of ourselves, we have to
know what we're doing, what we're what we're attempting to
do in our lives. And if you just abdicate, you
just say oh well, I'll just go with the flow,
you may be heading in the wrong direction for yourself
(15:42):
and your family and the people around you. The management
of that process again is a different thing, and you
can you need to manage yourself as well as lead yourself.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Having the right to what is very important because it's
important to make choices. And when we make choices and
take decisions and being the leader for ourselves, if we
were mistaken for which one it is, we can make
another choice and remove or remove.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
The leader to a different one.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
So, but we have to be courageous enough and trusted
for ourselves enough.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
To to to to move on or take actions.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That's very important in life.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
So I would say, so, what in your experience, or
your business or seeing with ever talking over business with others.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
What was the worst advice that you have ever received?
Speaker 5 (16:35):
The worst advice? Oh wow, I don't dwell on those
kinds of questions, so let me let me think about that.
I think some of the worst advice is all in
this category of you can't do X. I remember as
a little kid, I was I was not very physically
(16:55):
uh uh strong, And I remember coming home and my
mother said, Oh, don't worry about it, you know, just
because you keep coming in last in these races at school,
don't worry. You're just not a good runner. And I
listened to that. I accepted that voice from my mother,
(17:17):
who I respected and who I think was trying to
help me. And for years, for years after that, I said, well,
I'm not a good runner. I won't even try really
to run well. Then, actually, in my early thirties, I
started running and I became actually a very good runner.
And I thought I came home from a big run,
(17:37):
about a ten mile run, and I said to my wife,
I'm an athlete, and I'd never thought about myself in
that way before. When I was in college getting a
degree in mathematics, I was a tutor and people would
come in to tutoring the math the department and say,
(17:59):
within life like a sense or two, I'm not good
at math. So I would say to them, well, let's
work on some problems together. And after a session or two,
I'd say, well, why don't you try this one on
your own? And after a while they got they got good,
they get got more confident, and they said, I like math,
it's fun. So I think these self limiting voices that
(18:23):
we hear, we need to take a look and say,
maybe that's not who I am now, and I'm not
going to listen to those voices anymore.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
So we need to be in a place of let's
make a decision to not to listen to negative voices
that are could or could be not affecting our life
in a good way and having us grow as humans.
We need to trust like we go back to trusting
ourselves and to move forward, which is very important and
(18:55):
making the choices now, making the choices could be a wife,
could be wrong, but we need to try ourselves for
the process and if we see something that is networking,
we can go to different tip paths or choice.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
What we need to take.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Control of our own, our own thing in order for
us to have a thriving life and.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
To have what we actually thrive to achieve in our
business or life. So that's very important.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
So, right, is there something that's important that you would
like to mention here that do you think that we
have missed talking about?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Well, I think one more thing. There are many things
we could continue to talk about that. I just want
you to encourage your listeners to take the times, flow
things down, take the time to reflect. You know what's
going on, what's going around on, what's going well, what's
not going so well? Where are you happy, where are
(19:56):
you successful, Where are you cheating things? And where not?
And with that reflection, and maybe that means you're taking
walk by yourself, maybe you're quietly out in nature wherever
it works for you to do that self reflection. It
will pay big dividends and then you can make more
investment on what you what what you discover about yourself.
(20:21):
This is the pathway, part of the early stage, the
pathway of getting on the road to thriving.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, definct.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
You have to to know who we are, and we
have to discover who we are before we actually try
to discover other people and what they are and what
they what they do and with other intentions.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
It's important to focus in our self fest and indeed
ourselves best. So Aroan, we have till people learn more
about you, get in touch with you, see your book and.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
We get it. Well. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
My bookh Thriving is available of course at Amazon, but
also at the independent bookstores. You can also go to
my website. My book website Rand Salig dot com R
A N D S E L I G dot com.
(21:18):
There's a lot of interesting information. There's if you give
me your email address, you get quotes from my book,
my favorite quotes by chapter, a lot of quotes in
my book. I mentioned Steven Covey one. There are many
others and there are some podcasts, so I'll add yours
(21:39):
to Hussein when it becomes available so people can listen
to other conversations I've had on a variety of different
topics from people really around the world. It's it's been
a joy.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Well, thank you very much then see it for being
with you on this spisode of Success podcast. You have
an amazing perspective inter things and life to thrive as
a humans because we are here to help ourselves and
thrive in our life to also have an impact on
others people's life. And we do that first of all,
(22:11):
impacting our own life first, and then.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
We can move on to impacting other people's life.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
So thank you very much for joining for this one
of the successive podcasts.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Thank you Againton, it's been a pleasure.
Hallo, I welcome to the Success Great Podcast with Also Stale.
I'm excited to introduce you to a series of conversations
with some of the most successful and sparing individuals from
various industries.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
My aim is to.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Dive into their stories behind their success and explore the knowledge, strategies, habits, mindsets,
and wisdom that have propelled their success. Each hibishude of
the Success Great Podcast will feature a different guest who
will share their unique journey, the challenges they faced, and
the reasons they have learned along the way. I would
also be covering topics from entrepreneurship and innovation to leadership
(00:34):
and personal development. Whether you are inspiring entrepreneur, a seasoned
business profession, or just someone looking to improve your life,
the Success Great Podcast is for you. My goal is
to bring you valuable insights and inspiration that will help
you achieve your own success in business and life. So
get ready to learn and be inspired. The Success Great
(00:54):
Podcast starts now and this episode of the Success Great
Podcast I have with me Ryan to talk about being
the author of your own story and thrive and how
to create a healthier, heavier, and more prosperous life.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Rand is an accomplished entrepreneur, coach, scout master and board
member with an MBA from Stanford and undergraduate degree in
mathematics and psychology. He excels at managing complex projects globally.
He is relentestly positive and believes he can design his
own life and he can.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Help others do the same.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Rand will come to this episode of the Success Greed podcast.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Thank you who's saying? For having me as your guest.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Thank you for joining me so first forward, because this
is the Success Greed podcast, and you are the author
of your own story, as our listeners would be the
authors of their own stories. What the success means to
you and what do you see other people have certain
misconceptions around the successes.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
It's a fantastic opening question, who's saying? You know, I
think a lot of people around the world struggle with
that concept of what does success mean? And I firmly
believe that defining success should be a very personal thing
and we shouldn't just buy into what the media and
other people are saying, which largely means success is about
(02:16):
financial things. I think it's much much bigger than that.
Of course, doing well financially is important, but you have
to know your limits. You have to know when enough
is enough, because success means having a number of things
going on, including having strong, deep, and enduring relationships with others,
(02:38):
having a great relationship with yourself, taking care of yourself
physically and mentally, being a lifelong learner, being emotionally healthy,
having gratitude. There's a whole complex of things that are involved.
And I've met a lot of people, you know, with
my company, I've worked with a lot of real, really
(03:00):
talented CEOs and founders and I helped them sell their
companies and that added some more tips to their financial pile.
But a lot of them were not successful. Why because
all around them were failed relationships, failed relationships with partners,
(03:21):
or in their personal lives. They were not successful in
my view.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
So do you think I have it's a great rule
in us being successful and defining what success is to
us as a humans.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Well, I yes, I agree with that that habits are important.
But before you create a habit, and especially when you're
doing something important like defining what's important in your life,
you have to do some deep thinking of who you are,
what you stand for, what you won't stand for, what
your values are, what your aspirations are, what your talents are.
(04:00):
There are many many important questions what kind of personality
do you have? And from there then you can say, ah,
I'm good at this, I'm strong at this. I'm going
to move forward with some continuing some good habits. And
if you're not so strong a certain areas, but you'd
like to be strong, you know, you've got to work
at that. It's life is a process that benefits those
(04:24):
people who are disciplined and willing to do the work.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
So you mentioned like discovering ourselves basically, see what we
stand for, what we don't stand for, what we accept,
what don't we accept. Do you think that people generally,
when we are speaking to ourselves in the middle, are
we that honest with ourselves?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Honesty? Well, of course, of course there's a range some people.
I mean, one of the most powerful things we have
in our lives is our ability to rationalize. And so
you could look in that mirror and say, wow, I'm terrific,
when in fact, the history your record is not so great.
You've you've messed up, You've you've not not achieved that much.
(05:10):
You've you've maybe been a bad person in certain ways,
and hurt some people along the way, and and you've
made a lot of mistakes. That's all possible. We've all
made mistakes and so on. So the question of honesty
is something that is a quality, a quality of toughness.
(05:31):
You have to be able to say, Okay, I'm honest,
that I am good but not great. And the reason why,
what's the missing part is this And now over the
next cycle of time, I'm gonna work harder at that.
I'm committed to being the best person I can be.
I'm gonna be committed to be authentic and and honest
(05:54):
and a person of integrity, those kinds of things. And
so a lot of people are not honest. Yes, I
have to say that's true, and I think they suffer
for that lack of honesty.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
So to go from, like you mentioned, from being good
to being great, we have to take accept any steps
and ourselves so that we can develop as humans and
turn ourselves into our best self because eventually, but the
issue is, like most of us, like you mentioned earlier,
we generally go for we want our money. We don't
(06:27):
look at other aspects of life, being grateful, or being
have authenticity, being honest, these things that are actually human
driven features that only humans can have. So how does
that affect us to have to be the best versions
of ourselves? And of course being a version the best
(06:50):
version of ourselves does not come in a twenty four
hours day, twenty four hour day.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
It's basically a process, right.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Very much, so, very much so. Well, I think in
my walk through life, I've met a lot of people
who are very wealthy. This is, you know, the world
I live in, with the investment banking world, a lot
of very very wealthy people. And that's allowed me to
look closely at what they're about. And you know, the
(07:18):
yard stick I use is my personal yard stick, and
it could be different than the next person. It could
be and that's fine. I mean, that's what makes life interesting.
But I have to say a lot of these very
wealthy people just don't know when enough is enough, and
they don't they don't do a lot with the talent
and the resources they've accumulated over time. Again my judgment.
(07:41):
And you know, for a lot of people who have
a lot of talent, they've risen up, they've had some
great experiences, they've had a lot of responsibilities. What are
they doing with that besides accumulating more. Are they on boards,
are they volunteering, are they mentoring? What do they do
going out in the world to make not only the
(08:03):
world better, but in turn they become better people too.
And the people who do that, who have amassed resources
and great experiences, who then are generous with their time
and their money, to me, they are much better people,
(08:23):
and they're more interesting to be with.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
They're attractive people.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Speaking of thriving in a world full of distractions, I guess,
and we want as a humans to design our life
to be our best life and be our best self.
Is there some kind of see maybe some kind of
pointers or framework that each human should focus on and
put these into paper and then try to implement them
(08:49):
into actions so they would know that they are progressing
and having steps for it.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Well, I absolutely have to say emphatically yes to that.
This is actually the genesis of why wrote my book Thriving.
I realize that people have a huge amount of power,
a power to make choices in their lives, choices about
how they spend their time and who they spend their
(09:15):
time with, and even their feelings, choices about feelings, and
this power can be used in marvelous ways to get
them on the pathway to reaching their potential, to thriving,
to being happy, to being successful, the way they choose
to be successful and healthy and happy and prosperous. Those
(09:41):
are pretty good things to have.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
You mentioned, which is very important things that actually the
only thing that we have here on that is we
cannot get back you if you have a choice, well
not a choice, if you don't have a choice to
do one thing that would positively impact your life and
the ghost of time.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
What is that that you would do?
Speaker 5 (10:05):
I'll answer that by giving a little background. About fifteen
years ago, I woke up one morning and I said, Wow,
I am living a great life. What could make it better?
And I very quickly realized to have deeper and more
enduring relationships. So I went through my list of friends
(10:27):
and I picked six people. They happen to be all males,
although I have many female friends too, and I said,
I am going to see if I can't have a
deeper relationship with them. And then I figured out the
thing I have to do is become more vulnerable. They
probably saw me as a guy who didn't have any
chinks in the armor, and so I said, okay, I
(10:49):
need to talk to them and tell them stuff I'm
worried about, and maybe asked their advice. And I also realized,
of these six people, I didn't I think anybody would say,
oh RAN's so weird, We're not going to be a
friend of his anymore. But I did think that there
was a possibility the needle would not move and that
the relationship would not change. Well, I'm delighted to report
(11:12):
it didn't take very long, a few months, but five
out of six of those people became much better friends,
deeper friends. They began telling me things that they were
considered about, stories I'd known them for your stories I'd
never heard from them before, and vice versa. And so
to answer the current question, what would I do, I
(11:33):
would do more of that. I would do more of that. Also,
I last year came down with a what's commonly called
an arthritic flare. Affected my arms and my shoulders and
my back really painful. For the first time in my life,
I was not sleeping well. So I decided I was
(11:57):
going to really engage to not only get back to
the shape I was before this art critic Claire, but
even five years the way I was physically with strength
and stability five maybe even ten years before, and so
I've been undertaking that and that's a time commitment.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Every day.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Every day I'm taking time with stretching and strength stuff
and running and oh it's dramatic the improvement that it is.
So I've accomplished that I'm on the road to being
this younger person because my body has responded so well
(12:37):
to this extra attention, the extra investment I'm making.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
You mentioned being like your story there fisteen years ago
you mentioned vulnerability with others. So being vulnerable some people
see it is a bad thing. What actually opened up
the hearts of the people around you and yourself to
tell more things or more stories, and that created I
would say, maybe more trust things, which is very important
(13:03):
for us as the humans.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
So this is a very important thing to have.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Trust is a bedrock component and a and a high
quality relationship. And I say the most important relationship we
have in our lives is the one with ourselves. And
I'm surprised when I come across people from time to
time who do not trust themselves. So if you trust yourself,
it will help you to trust others, to accept them
(13:31):
for who they are, to you know, engage with them
with more openness and more honesty, and to say, hey, look,
it's not as if I'm a perfect human being. I
don't know that person exists. I've not met them. But
I'm okay with who I am, and I'm okay with
(13:52):
continuing to look and work at becoming an even better person.
It's one of my one of my purposes.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Trusting ourselves is very Others is important, and trusting ourselves
is also even more important because that will help us
make better choices for ourselves. So, because life is generally
about choices, abc Z, whatever, So that will make us
more courageous. And I think the definition of a leader
(14:22):
and we should all be leaders of ourselves first, right
to have the courage and the trust ourselves to make choices,
and even if these choices we were wrong.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
We make these choices.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
So that's very important.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
I am so happy you brought up the concept of leadership.
Leadership is something we do with ourselves and it's something
we do with others. There's two parts of that. And
it's important also to distinguish between leadership and management. We
use those terms interchange when in fact they're really very
(15:00):
very different things. Uh, Stephen Covey the Great Stephen Covey wrote.
At one point he said, uh, management is operational efficiency
in climbing the ladder to achievement. Leadership is making sure
the ladder's on the right wall. And I think that's
(15:20):
really important as we as we go back to your
your basic point, as leaders of ourselves, we have to
know what we're doing, what we're what we're attempting to
do in our lives. And if you just abdicate, you
just say oh well, I'll just go with the flow,
you may be heading in the wrong direction for yourself
(15:42):
and your family and the people around you. The management
of that process again is a different thing, and you
can you need to manage yourself as well as lead yourself.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Having the right to what is very important because it's
important to make choices. And when we make choices and
take decisions and being the leader for ourselves, if we
were mistaken for which one it is, we can make
another choice and remove or remove.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
The leader to a different one.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
So, but we have to be courageous enough and trusted
for ourselves enough.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
To to to to move on or take actions.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That's very important in life.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
So I would say, so, what in your experience, or
your business or seeing with ever talking over business with others.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
What was the worst advice that you have ever received?
Speaker 5 (16:35):
The worst advice? Oh wow, I don't dwell on those
kinds of questions, so let me let me think about that.
I think some of the worst advice is all in
this category of you can't do X. I remember as
a little kid, I was I was not very physically
(16:55):
uh uh strong, And I remember coming home and my
mother said, Oh, don't worry about it, you know, just
because you keep coming in last in these races at school,
don't worry. You're just not a good runner. And I
listened to that. I accepted that voice from my mother,
(17:17):
who I respected and who I think was trying to
help me. And for years, for years after that, I said, well,
I'm not a good runner. I won't even try really
to run well. Then, actually, in my early thirties, I
started running and I became actually a very good runner.
And I thought I came home from a big run,
(17:37):
about a ten mile run, and I said to my wife,
I'm an athlete, and I'd never thought about myself in
that way before. When I was in college getting a
degree in mathematics, I was a tutor and people would
come in to tutoring the math the department and say,
(17:59):
within life like a sense or two, I'm not good
at math. So I would say to them, well, let's
work on some problems together. And after a session or two,
I'd say, well, why don't you try this one on
your own? And after a while they got they got good,
they get got more confident, and they said, I like math,
it's fun. So I think these self limiting voices that
(18:23):
we hear, we need to take a look and say,
maybe that's not who I am now, and I'm not
going to listen to those voices anymore.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
So we need to be in a place of let's
make a decision to not to listen to negative voices
that are could or could be not affecting our life
in a good way and having us grow as humans.
We need to trust like we go back to trusting
ourselves and to move forward, which is very important and
(18:55):
making the choices now, making the choices could be a wife,
could be wrong, but we need to try ourselves for
the process and if we see something that is networking,
we can go to different tip paths or choice.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
What we need to take.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Control of our own, our own thing in order for
us to have a thriving life and.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
To have what we actually thrive to achieve in our
business or life. So that's very important.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
So, right, is there something that's important that you would
like to mention here that do you think that we
have missed talking about?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Well, I think one more thing. There are many things
we could continue to talk about that. I just want
you to encourage your listeners to take the times, flow
things down, take the time to reflect. You know what's
going on, what's going around on, what's going well, what's
not going so well? Where are you happy, where are
(19:56):
you successful, Where are you cheating things? And where not?
And with that reflection, and maybe that means you're taking
walk by yourself, maybe you're quietly out in nature wherever
it works for you to do that self reflection. It
will pay big dividends and then you can make more
investment on what you what what you discover about yourself.
(20:21):
This is the pathway, part of the early stage, the
pathway of getting on the road to thriving.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, definct.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
You have to to know who we are, and we
have to discover who we are before we actually try
to discover other people and what they are and what
they what they do and with other intentions.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
It's important to focus in our self fest and indeed
ourselves best. So Aroan, we have till people learn more
about you, get in touch with you, see your book and.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
We get it. Well. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
My bookh Thriving is available of course at Amazon, but
also at the independent bookstores. You can also go to
my website. My book website Rand Salig dot com R
A N D S E L I G dot com.
(21:18):
There's a lot of interesting information. There's if you give
me your email address, you get quotes from my book,
my favorite quotes by chapter, a lot of quotes in
my book. I mentioned Steven Covey one. There are many
others and there are some podcasts, so I'll add yours
(21:39):
to Hussein when it becomes available so people can listen
to other conversations I've had on a variety of different
topics from people really around the world. It's it's been
a joy.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Well, thank you very much then see it for being
with you on this spisode of Success podcast. You have
an amazing perspective inter things and life to thrive as
a humans because we are here to help ourselves and
thrive in our life to also have an impact on
others people's life. And we do that first of all,
(22:11):
impacting our own life first, and then.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
We can move on to impacting other people's life.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
So thank you very much for joining for this one
of the successive podcasts.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Thank you Againton, it's been a pleasure.
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