Truth Diaries Episode 1 | Struggling to be Content in Uncomfortable Situations As A Christian

In this episode of The Truth Diaries (formerly The Truth Expositors) we discuss how difficult it is, as a Christian, to be content in uncomfortable situations. Maybe your job isn't ideal or you're not living where you'd like to live, or whatever it may be, you're not as content as you should be. Join in the discussion and let us know your thoughts. Are you struggling to be content?

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey to everyone, and thank youfor listening to this week's episode. Valencia
and my name is Kia and thisis the Truth Diarist. This podcast has
been brought to you by way ofTruth Evangelistic Ministries. Our hope is to
see people gain hope for their future, establish their faith in God, and
build upon their foundation in Christ.We share our personal struggles, triumphs,

(00:20):
and thoughts as we navigate on thisfaith journey with Jesus Christ. So we're
gonna talk just about our week andbasically it just get started. How'd you
been going? It could be better? You know lately we've just been thinking

(00:44):
about the job, and you know, pretty much if I wanted something now
a new start. But other thanthat, I can't complain. I think,
well, if I can be honestand transparent. I actually had a
breakdown. I told you about thisalready, but I had a breakdown on

(01:06):
vacation. I know, for awhile, I been kind of feeling like
I'm just floating through life, youknow, without no not necessarily without a
purpose, but just without passion.That makes sense, just kind of every
time you would ask me, likeon my job, how you doing today?
How's work? It's famous line it'sall right period like no other punctuation

(01:29):
were. And that's literally how Iwas feeling, just lack passion, lack
just that enthusiasm I think for it. And on vacation I had a breakdown
because I just, I guess Ijust did like a little recap of my
life, and my life did notlook like anything I intended on it or
even what God purpose for it tobe. So that's kind of like my

(01:52):
weekend. And I'm still processing allthat to the fallout from my breakdown from
the weekend. Yeah, I knewsomething was going on with the short responses
because Dorbable, you're what normally you'reall happy when you say, like gonna
ask you how work is, it'sgets played or something. You know,

(02:14):
they're really more short and you didn'thave any what even when I would ask
you nothing nothing like I I thinkyour mind been shorter than my. Okay,
well, I've been having problems atwork with trying to get work.
You know, it's been this onMunday, like when taxi is it over,

(02:35):
It's like, now I gotta findthese people if I ask tell them
I don't have any work, whatthey got going for me? Did I
feel like getting these people's nerves andwork and stuff. So I've just been
kind of doing these case studies andnot in the herly doing them. So
how do you get how do youget through your day though? Like?
And how do you feel about justkind of sitting dormant? I just be

(03:00):
on my f I I don't know. I'd be on my phone and stuff,
doing ministry work and stuff and justcounting down the hour, so I
lean not brough. I'd be havinglike set. It was like, oh,
at twelve o'clock, okay, sothat means I got four and a
half hours left. Mm. Solet me, why do you think it's
such a big, big like disconnect, Cause I think we're both obviously like

(03:23):
on the stake, like a parallelpath here, you know where we're both
have no enthusiasm for the job.It it hasn't been it has been that
wait in a long time. Actually, yeah, gosh, Cause even at
my last year, I you knowabout Discover I told you about that.
Although I didn't like that job,at least I had enough work to last

(03:43):
week, you know, I know, I wasn't running out of calls,
so I didn't know it was gonnahave work that's what it's like. I
I don't know. I just can'tsitting at a desk all day at at
at one point and then you havenothing to do. It's it's just and
then the office is so quiet.I have to have HiPhones. If you
don't have hiphoes, you're not makingthe offense. This is dry, that's

(04:08):
but yeah, it's dry. Sois this not sustaining right now? And
let me ask you a question,did any job will sustain you? Let's
say, if you just still haveyour accounting and you're still busy, not
busy, discovery busy, but veryconsistent with Tommy's floating. I think if
if I'm busy, at at least, you know, makes the time go

(04:30):
by fast. I'm not saying thatthat that's what I want to do,
because I want to do full timeindustry, That's what that's what I wanted
to get. But I can atleast, you know, get through the
day faster, you know, notnot sitting there idol. I feel you
on that way. It makes theday go dygain you get to thinking and
stuff. But you're a thinker,you know, notorious thinker. I had
a switch to my thinking, youknow. But yeah, I can say.

(04:54):
I'm sure that does not help.Sitting idly sometimes and your thoughts running
rampant pretty much. Then it's atthe taxis it comes and then they want
you to work to break there foreverthey want you there. I remember getting
that you built it, like,oh, you guys could work after nine
or dad? You want did youwork out the narth? No? I

(05:17):
got my sixth They said this week, fifty eight hours you have to make
I made fifty eight on the dot. Yes, nope, fifty eight point
one. No. Honestly, youknow, I can relate a little bit
because working what we call that stuffthat that's where I'm never gonna do again
in life. Uncle, That's that'sthose the word. It's it's like it

(05:43):
did something from you, you know. And and we're not afraid of work
by any means. We work togetherat some point in time. Both have
great work ethics, so it's notthat. But it's when jobs expect you
to sell your soul for the jobor or just dedicate so much. And
you know, I think working eightto five is dedication enough. Yeah,
that's enough. I think it kindof took the joint seeing those in the

(06:05):
office there just there all day.I'm leaving her still there and they're working
all night, like lights are off, you're still there, Like I don't
want Yeah, I want to work. You have to work to get you
know, get a living, butI don't want it to be in life
exactly seven days a week, yeall that long, you know. So
it's it almost I don't want tobe promoted because I don't want that.

(06:26):
So it's kind of funny though,because you know, we met while we
worked at Walmart. How has theprogression since Walmart as far as job administring
been for you? Well, youknow, when I'm back in Walmart,
I would tell you that I don'twant anything that's gonna take me away from
ministry. Yeah, and I feltlike, you know, overnights, you

(06:48):
know, cause you know you workovernights, AOL was tired during during the
day or anything, and then youknow, I was moving. For the
other jobs, it wasn't too badbecause you get off at a reasonable time.
But this job, it's taken awaybecause if I'm working all the way,
if I'm going in at seven thirty, not getting on to seven thirty,
but where's at least nowhere, Soit's it's gonna do the same thing

(07:13):
and take me away like now duringduring this time, so it's not much
work. I get off at fourthirty, so I still have time,
but I know January through April fifteenth. Yeah, and honestly, and on
the other side of that too,when I was doing on call, I
don't even know. We remember wehad like squeeze stuff in there, like
interwo you know, we just wemade it work, though we definitely did,

(07:36):
you know, And I think maybethat was a little bit of a
pro anacon in that situation. ButI know during your tax season, the
burden really did fall on me alot, you know, because we were
trying to play in like an eventand stuff like that. And thank god,
it all worked. You know,you're still able to do what you
were able to do when you wereable to do it. But it did
work. But I do understand howpull you away from ministry, And like

(08:01):
you said, it's not like we'renot trying to work. Yeah, you
know, we're not. Lady.You know, if your Bible says it
don't work, he don't eat.So we know we need to work,
and we know we we do wantto in some capacity. Just that there's
a call. I think inside ofus a deep call yearning that's pulling us
in an opposite direction. And Iactually want to ask you about that deep
call that's pulling you into that direction. It seems like it's pulling you in

(08:24):
well. Definitely advangelism, you know, I love it. When we were
going out, you know, inorder to war and stuff and interactive like
we always want to do the mobilething, go from city to city,
you know, all over not onlyjust here, but you know, all
over the US and room overseas,you know, evangelize it because we want

(08:45):
we don't want anyone to feel likethey're a loss and they don't have anyone
to talk to. And that wasalways you know, it seems like with
these jobs I'm kind of getting awayfrom In school. Yeah, in school,
it's like it's always something something.Our schedules are just not work it
out where we can we can goout or we can have an event,

(09:05):
you know, so that that's that'svery true, and it's it's and I'm
trying to figure out now why wehave not been out for a vandalism.
But it is always something. There'sa trip in there, there's an obligation
from family. Then there. Andif it's not school and work, it's
the family, you know, andand and or if we just got birthday,
we want we want a trip.But you know, we're trying to

(09:26):
evandalize on trips now to just sowe don't miss that. I can give
it some something, you know,cut of some slack a little bit.
Do we evangelize on the trip?I think we were planning doing it,
but I don't think we did.Actually, sorry, well we're working progress.

(09:46):
I think your thought was there,and I think for one of them
we actually forgot the back path.It was New York. Yeah, we
have to pass everything, so wewouldn't wait a minute. No, I
packed the things. I don't thinkthey ever left the apartment. Oh,
you're right back up, so Iguess yeah, I guess we could have

(10:15):
used Hi, everybody, This isNikia, the co host of the Truth
Diaries podcast my ministry partner and cohost Valencia, and I wanna thank you
for checking out our podcast. Ifyou have missed any episodes, feel free
to go on Apple Podcasts or anyplatform you get your podcasts. We wanna
thank you for your ongoing support andprayers as we continue to speak truth and

(10:37):
encourage others, and there's our passionto be able to proclaim God's words to
the world. Proclaiming the Gospel isthe very heartbeat of Way of Truth evangelistic
ministries, and it is our passionin life to help Christians discover the next
crucial steps in their walk with theLord. We hope that this ministry gives
insight into those steps and also providesa richer meeting and explanation on why having

(10:58):
a strong and effective personal relationship withthe Lord is important. It really didn't
work out at all, so it'sit's but I do kind of feel you
on that one too, Mellinsia.You know what kind of situation I'm in
right now, and it's not easyby any means. Your situation is not
easy, and I'm confused. Ihave no clue. I have no clue.

(11:22):
I have no clue, And Ithink the hardest thing in this whole
process is trusting God to know theplan that he had, the trust him
that his plan is the best plan, whatever that plan is. If we
didn't even get to what the planactually is yet, but just trusting God
that is gonna be okay, andget your hands off the situation well,
I would ask you nothing. Sookay, if you had the rate,

(11:46):
you know every action or life.Are you content and you want me rating
on zero? Two? Yeah,you contend work. Family, I'm content
in ministry like ten I am.I'm kind of like you. That's the
passion, that's that's wakes He wakesus up every morning. Besides God,

(12:07):
of course, that's that's what drivesus. Family. I'm gonna keep one
hundred. That's zero, no catzero. But I did. I did
pray last night because remember I toldyou, I just never had that time
to just talk to the Lord andseek him. And I did pray for
my family and my relation to them, just so I don't grow better,

(12:31):
don't grow resentful all hard hearted.But yeah, it's still zero unfortunately,
because I can't forget, you know, I can forgive, but I can't
forget the horrible stuff that has beendone and said. And we gotta protect
ourselves too. As far as job, I'm actually happy. I'm actually unemployed

(12:52):
newly for the first time tooche.But yeah, I'm actually happy about that.
It doesn't make me nervous obviously,because I'm a plan nerve let me
tell you, I need a planfrom A to Z. I need a

(13:13):
plan. I gotta know where I'mgoing and what I'm doing whatever. I'm
not like that on vacation that yougot admit that. But yeah, okay,
well we can't even play it anywaybecause that stuff talls out the window.
Every time we're playing something goes arock. We just have a big
idea what we're going to do,and we kind of stick with that and
let the wind tickets where it doesor the Yeah, yeah, it works

(13:33):
out the tide. But yeah,overall, when I was in Florida,
I had my breakdown. I wasbasically out of zero for everything but ministry.
That was But my mind, I'mgetting a little better. It was
much better than yesterday. Yesterday.Yeah, can you describe what yesterday we're

(13:54):
talking about, like how you werefeeling we were feeling, because we're feeling
same way. Yeah, I don'tknow. I can't get this loss,
I guess. So my question iswhen because we're Christians, obviously we love
God, and like you said yesterday, we were talking that you have hope

(14:18):
inside of you, like what compelledyou to get up to that? You
know what I mean? Like becauseit wasn't very encouraging, but definitely because
of that hope. You know,I always know that, you know,
as one of those guys there,that it's never going to be that too
bad, you know, and thathe could definitely, you know, turn
it around. So rather it's goingto be today, you know, next

(14:39):
week or whatever. I don't knowwhen. Yeah, but I still have
hope. It's never going to getto the point where I'm like full on
depression. You know that is true. We might tap, you know,
tap on the line, dance around, but I'm with you on that way.
Yesterday was really really bad. Ithink I haven't had a bad moment
like that in a very long time. But the fact that me you were

(15:00):
in different states, have different familydynamics and felt the same exact way.
I mean, me and her Iwant to court all the time. At
least nine we don't want to courtif we're I don't want to go with
that one percent. We're gonna geteach other and want to court somehow,
so we're one hundred percent. Anyway, the fact that we're in two different
states feeling the same exact way I'llbe in different situations or whatever it were,

(15:24):
it amazed me. Actually when youtold me yesterday that you basically felt
the same way I felt when Ihad my breakdown. You said you had
one too, right, Yeah,it was more like to myself because I
always trying to keep stuff to myself, even though some people are nosy.
No, but to a fault.But yeah, definitely because of this,

(15:45):
not if I'm being honest, notcontent in these in these areas, like
it's not where I want to be. Definitely. I don't know what the
job situation, you know, wetalked about it, what drowne place and
you know, different things. Sobecause of that content in those areas,
it's this and you know what Ithink. I don't know sure if this
is like a problem with all Christians, but I think it's a really common

(16:07):
theme with us because we're perfectionists,and I believe that sometimes I personally can't
tell the difference between being content andbeing complacent, you know what I mean,
Like we can make any situation doable, might be suffer from doing it,
but we can. We're gonna pushthrough because we're perfectionist like that.
As it relates to work, inschool and families, quite all fasces of

(16:32):
life, I guess, But isthat being content you know what I mean,
Like there's a line that's crossed there. I think that we stay in
situation longer than we have we shouldbecause it's not become detrimental to us,
you know what I mean. Butthen in this one, I'm kind of
dealing with in my situation, Iwasn't content at all? Did I jump

(16:53):
the gun? Right? And Ithink that's really what I'm dealing with at
the core because I don't know whatGod's will is fully, you know,
I see him moving a bit,but I don't know. So I'm like,
I'm kind of dealing with that,Like, Lord, I didn't I
hope I didn't jump the gun becausenow I'm not out of your will united,
I'm like trying to I'm thinking,like wanting to get back into you

(17:14):
will, which is WiFi for thejob. Again, I'm like, did
I miss it? Because I remember, remember I told you I took that
drive to stand from get there,and the Lord told me basically, how
dare you curse something that I blessyou with? You know? And I'm
like, I got my attitude togetherlike at least a month or so,
but here come January and I'm likeback at it again. So I'm like,

(17:38):
did I jump them? Really thinkingabout that? Did I jump the
gun? Why was I miserable?I had reasonable calls, I think,
perfectly honest, but no voice orreason, by the way, none,
Linda, I'm gonna quit my job, like right now, okay, can't
go ahead and do it? Stressthis up? It was? It was,

(18:02):
It definitely was. It was.Now. I know that every job
is not gonna be perfect here.I mean, even though a christ,
it doesn't mean that we're gonna wakeup and every day is supposed to be
perfect. Yeah, it doesn't saythat, but sometimes things are just there's
too I don't know, too bad. I just don't. I don't know
if it's really We're not supposed tobe something, you know, So yeah,

(18:25):
am I supposed to be learning something? So yeah? So that's why
sometimes you know, I pray likeif Godness will worry about and then you
know, I'll be all right andthat'll let that'll that'll keep me sustained for
a little bit until it comes backaround again. So it almost sounds like
though, in order for us tobe content, to be okay, whether

(18:47):
we have what we have or don'thave what we want or need, that
God's gonna supply, But it almostsounds like it's we need to stay connected
town. I really think that whenwhen we go through those ebbs and flows
like that, it's because we're notconnected. We probably should be, I'll

(19:08):
be honest, because you know,when you're not, that's Caitet, you're
not really you know, probably reading. Oh yeah, don't get started with
that one. Like I can't sayI don't have the desire to pray and
stuff, but sometimes it's a littleless than what I would, you know,
because you're not happy about Like it'slike the broken record, you know

(19:37):
that one, and and and that'sa whole another topic about prayer in general.
And I hope we talk about that, you know, one day.
But I'm with you on that one. It's like, I think it's kind
of maybe like our last week orsouth at least because it's been going on
for a while where it is,I would say at least a month and
a half. But I'm being generouswhen I say that. But I know
I need to go to God becausehe has the answers. But on the

(20:02):
other hand, I don't want togo to God. I literally don't want
to go to God because I'm notgonna get my answer right away. I
gotta wait, I gotta be praying, I gotta go spit up and lay
after altar, I gotta fast.All these things are not bad things to
do, but I'm an answer Iwant to say for God is like you,

(20:23):
well, this is this? Reallyit that answer yet? So the
waiting room, I got it rightwith the waiting room. And it's that
waiting room is a mess seeing peoplecome and go before you and get what
get what you came in there toseek for, and they walk out that

(20:45):
me and you like that. That'sthat's that way. It's like you don't
even want to hear it, likehear what you know, the couragement,
like I know it, like youknow, it doesn't help my situation right

(21:06):
now? Right that's the truth,Like what does where does the person go
from there? Though? Because we'resaying some real stuff, you know what
I'm saying. You don't want tohear the word not so much like the
word You okay with that, butit's like it just doesn't connect with you.
You know, what are you lookingfor? And what are you looking
for an answer? Like if Ilike for real, you know, like

(21:30):
if this is where you want meto beg and you know I get to
answer yes and you can move on. But yeah, be comfortable and going
forth right. We hope that youlearned a great deal and we hope that
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(21:52):
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