Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
There's this old episode of It's not an episode, it's
an issue, sorry, late night. There's an old issue of
National Lampoons Magazine where somebody takes a gun and they
stick it to it.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Is it a dog's head? You remember? You remember seeing this?
I thought you were going to tell me a little
bit more info before I jumped in. It's kind of
a famous photo. You've never seen this before. I'm not
sure there's somebody holding a gun to a head of something. Okay, Yeah,
there's a famous photo of National Lampoons Magazine, apparently the
issues from January nineteen seventy three.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It's the cheesehead issue. Very famous picture. I have it
on the screen here. You've never seen that picture before?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Probably not? Okay? Well, the dog looks a little worried.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Right, it's a you know, if you don't buy this magazine,
we will kill this dog.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That's what it says on the issue.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I know that sounds pretty dark, and it is, but
it's also a comedy magazine.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
There's someone keeps coming in this studio and changing things
while we're not here.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Almost every day we come in here, the heat is
turned up, the microphones are all moved, all over the place,
buttons turned down, buttons, push knobs turned down, and we
have to come in to try to put it back
the way it was. And who's doing it? For what
purpose are they coming in here?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I don't know, but if they love dogs, what I
was thinking I would do is just take this photo
and I'd put it over there by the thermostat, and
then I'd change the caption said if you touch this thermostat,
I will kill this dog. Because I can't threaten the person. Obviously,
they either work here or you know, we don't know
who it is. For one thing, sure, I don't know
(01:39):
they're doing. They're showing up here when hours after we're gone.
It could be you know, like a really big big
guy or something. You know, you gotta be careful of
that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
And then also whether they're big or little, you know,
I gonna be able to scare them if I never
come and go. We it's been happening at this point
for years, and it just happens once in a while.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Someone comes in here.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
They shut off the speakers, they push all the buttons
on the board, they crank the heat. We probably should
figure it out when we walked in the studio and
it was hot. But we usually don't realize the other
things were changed un till I don't know, twenty seconds
before the show starts. And that's fine, it's fine, but
I will kill this dog if you do it again.
That's all I'm saying. I like it, it'll work, that's
(02:21):
my idea. Good morning, everyone. What dog are you going
to use?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Because that dog is obviously dead? The one in the
picture from however far back that goes.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Well, that's the beauty of this idea, Steve, As you're aware,
I love dogs.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I wouldn't hurt one.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I certainly wouldn't do it to Milton or some wouldn't
even want to risk it with to take a photo.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
But with the advent of aih yeah, I keep forgetting
nothing's real, we can fake everything there everything. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
What would be really great is if we could figure
out who it was and then figure out what their
dog looks like. Oh yeah, get their dog, and then
have an AI generated picture of their dog there again,
not a real dog, before we all start writing or
complain emails to whatever local radio station you're hearing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Us sound you know, I did see something similar to
that once in a radio morning show. Add it was
about forty years ago or more. Uh, and somebody had
a goldfish in a blender. Oh my god, that's so
funny with you know, is in the water swimming around
and somebody's finger was on the button to make it
go boo. And it's same situation.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You know, if you don't tune into this radio show,
what would they? But what would be the modern day
equivalent of that? With like in this day them praying
out pronoun culture with if you don't tune into this
radio show, we will call and have the kitchen workers
at your favorite restaurant deported by ice or what would
it you know.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Hold hold a gun to a Somali head? What's that?
Very recognizable heads they do and it's not us. We're
not just that that's obvious. It's out there. Yeah, something
along those lines. Maybe what's it called when you call
a trans person by their old name, dead naming them?
Is if you don't tune into our radio show, we
(04:08):
will dead name your favorite trans Ooh that's pretty bad.
Ooh yeah, that's my idea.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Not now because it's not that important, but at some
point today I'm going to tell the story of how
I upset most of the people last night at a
Harris County Republican Party meeting.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
It's part of the I'm not usually up late at
night upsetting people on a Monday. Yeah, but something to
keep you busy. It's not important. It's just a stupid story.
I'll tell later. But in the meantime, why.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Don't we start the show off with this a little
Texas News James Tallerico, you get who that is. Back
in twenty eighteen, Beto O'Rourke lost to Ted Cruz, but
it didn't matter that he lost for Texas Democrats. What
mattered was he inspired people to come out to the
polling locations and vote, and that's how we got among
(04:59):
our people.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Lena Hidalgo. Yeah, it did not work out well for
other Republicans, not even running against him, right, And Lena
wasn't the only one.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
All over the state of Texas, there were purple districts
or light red districts that flipped blue, and some of
them flipped back, some of them didn't. But it was
a great victory for the Democrats, even though they'd lost
the Senate race, because Beto O'Rourke was an inspiration to
get people to come out and vote yesterday in the
state of Texas, a former NFL player from the Dallas
(05:32):
Fort Worth area who may or may not have some
serious problems with concussions, made sure that nothing like that
will happen this year for the Democrats. The guy's name
is Colin Alrid. Two years ago, Colin Alred got his
ass kicked by Ted Cruz. Right, it wasn't quite like
the Beto o'rourk things. Six years earlier, Colin Alred got
(05:53):
his ass handed to him. He got destroyed, So he's
a little bitter. He was going to run for Senate
again this year against John Cornyn and who's the other one,
Ken Pashton in Wesley Hunt.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Oh yeah, it's a big race, a lot of people involved.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And anyway, instead he dropped out. He endorsed Jasmine. Jasmine
has recently gone on record as saying the state of
Texas is racist. It's a bad place. It's bad, but
I want to be your senator. It's a weird thing
to do. Yeah, and her pulling numbers are exactly what
you'd expect him to be. The other Democrat primary candidate
is a guy named James Tallerico.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Controversial for different reasons.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
He thinks there's stuff in the Bible that says we
should support abortion and stuff, but most people don't even
know that. They just see him as being a skinny,
mild mannered white guy that wouldn't be threatening to your grandma. Yesterday,
Colin already made a video where he said that James
Tallerico is secretly racist, secretly.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
How does he know then, if it's a secret.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Someone told him that James Tallerico said he was a
mid level black man, which ain't even really racist if
you think about it.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It's more just a black man, sure, mid levels, more
of an opinion, but the black man thing seems to
be factual.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, isn't it interesting how liberals and conservatives see two
different things, Like the the Alex Pretty video for example,
we're looking at the same thing, but we don't see
the same thing. When I heard that James Tallerico said
Colin Alridd was a mid level black man, I heard
an insult against Colin Alridd, whether it was true or not.
But liberals heard it and they thought it was insulting
(07:25):
to all black people, because you know, Colin Alridd's a
prominent black guy in the state of Colin Alridd's mid level.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
What does that say about everyone else? And they want
it to be insulting to all black people, So you
know they got that that's very true. So anyway, in
doing this yesterday, Colin Halrid kind of ensured that come November,
no matter who the candidate is, whether it's Jasmine who's
very unpopular right now with Hispanic people and anyone that
(07:52):
doesn't think everything's racist essentially, or James Tallerico, who now
is hated by black people in the Democrat Party.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, sure, one thing is for sure. Every one of
the Texas Senate candidates, Wesley Hunt, Ken Paxton, John Cornyn
is going to be able to easily defeat either of
these two people. Colin Aulrey just screwed his party over.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Well that's good, right, I mean for us, it is, sure,
but it's just interesting to see it happen when they're
ruining it for themselves. Don't step in, Just sit back,
put some popcorn in the microwave, and enjoy the show.
What's that guy? The Art of War? What's his name?
Sue Son? Sue? What did he say?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Pretty much what I said, except without the popcorn. Party
and probably with an accident.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, yeah, on a Tuesday. Who am I? Charlie Sheen
Walton and Johnson Radio Network, Just out of curiosity, kidding,
and I'm asking this of a lot of people, not
just you. Sure do you happen to have Savannah Guthrie's
mother over at your house? Anna Guthrie's mother. No, No,
(09:01):
she's the one that's on the morning show there on
another the Today's Show co anchor. Yeah, used to be
worked with Hodah. That's one of the reasons that this
story caught my attention. We just spent a little time
with Hoda, like you she does. She just lights up
when she sees me.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Very thirty with you, kind of lights up what she
sees everyone, but really with you, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
But her former co worker, Savannah Guthrie's mom, eighty four
year old woman living in Tucson, Arizona, has been missing
since the weekend. Jesus and like kidnapped. They what they're thinking,
maybe kidnapped. Some people were thinking aliens. And so just
to help narrow down the search, you know, is she
(09:47):
at your house?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Well, I could tell you with great certainty if she
If she's at my house, she just got there. In
the last few minutes because she wasn't there when I left.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
For work this morning, so then we cannot look there well,
which means it opens up areas that we can look.
If you have Savannah Guthrie's mom at your house, a
JD four, you know, just send us a little heads
up email WALTA. Johnson dot com. I mean, we're not
gonna do anything about it, we just just like to
narrow down the search parameters.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Pima County sheriff previously described Guthrie's home as a crime scene.
She was taken possibly in the middle of the night,
and that includes possible kidnapping or abduction.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
The headline says taken against her well, but then when
you read the article it says maybe taken against her. Well,
there's a lot of maybees and possibles, and it looked
like we'll see. I don't know. S're working on it.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
She had no cognitive issues, no links to dementia, adding
that he described her as being sound of mind and
quote sharp as attack.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I believe him, but did describe Joe Biden the same way.
He's for my first thought too.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Now when I hear sharp as attack, I immediately think
of four years of that.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You just can't trust anybody's opinion about how sharp tacts
are going forward.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
The term sharp is it attack is a little bit
like bless your heart.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, oh, bless their And we have Joe Biden to
thank for that.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Before Joe Biden, if you said he was sharp as attack,
people would have assumed, oh, smart guide, Yeah, good memory,
very quick on his feet. Now, when you say sharp
is attack, we think about everybody in the mainstream media
lying to us for four years and then immediately saying.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Who's been telling all these lives about the president?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Here's my new book about how we broke the story.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Well, this is a disappearance, whatever kind of disappearance it
is of Savannah's mom, has caused her to not be
on the show this week, and I guess she's out
in Arizona, maybe helping figure out what happened. I get why, Yeah,
which means that she is not going to be able
to host the opening ceremonies of the Olympics this week.
(11:51):
And that sucks. It does actually, because I know she
was looking forward to it. So that's Friday, yeah, and
so you know, I mean, even if they find her
by Friday, she probably isn't gonna be, you know, coming
back to work right away.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I think I'm about to say something that's gonna make
some of our listeners hate me, especially the football fans.
In a normal sports season, I'll watch the end of
the season, college football, baseball, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I usually watch all two weeks of the Olympics. But
it's easy. It's two weeks. Yeah, even if.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
There's a weird sport on, especially if they're ping pong. Oh,
I'm watching Chinese kids play ping pongh Yeah, put that
on the stupidest sports on earth. So winter sports doesn't
have as many though. There's only two really dumb sports.
One of them actually seems cool. But let's face its
skiing and shooting a gun. That's kind of a pointless sport.
What are you gonna need to do that? And it's
(12:44):
not even the fun skiing. It's not downhill. It's a
cross country, right, that's just hard work for no fun,
no good reason at all, unless you actually need to
get somewhere.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
You know what if they.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Did it downhill but there were moguls and your rifle
every time.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
And maybe a pistol instead of a rifle. Oh my god,
I want to do that so bad, and they put
little targets up along the slope of the downhill angle.
What if we built the pistols into the ski sticks? Yeah,
so you didn't even your poles. Yeah, the Pauls. Thank
you that Paul. I should have known better. Sorry, you're
(13:21):
you're young and hill all right. Kids probably call them sticks,
you know. I think sticks are actually skis.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
But on a side note, the other stupid sport in
the Winter Olympics, and I think we all know what
I'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I'm curling. It's like sweeping the ice with a broom.
Canadian bowling is basically what that is.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
You could be drunk when you do it, you could
be overweight, you could smoke a cigarette when you curl.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
You probably should. It's cold out, you warm me up.
You's right. Yeah, we talked about this on Tuesday. It's
only Tuesday. Tuesday is another one of my suger worms. Yeah,
I know, I know. Walton and Johnson Radio Network