Espy Awards - THU 7.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, so we all agree drugs are bad. This guy
shouldn't have been driving around with math in Houston.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
That's bad. Wait wait, I don't sound like a big
announce with to me either. I heard I heard there
was gonna be a big announce. But it's seven it's
now seven oh one. We're getting to it. But I
just want to make sure it's such a tease, young man.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
People are just tuning in and uh, some people aren't
paying attention because we were just in commercial break.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
You got to put it in the middle of the segment.
Get back back to work. Here is what I'm saying.
A man in Ecuador tried smuggling four hundred pounds of
cocaine using an oil tanker. It's terrible.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Apparently they caught him because they found an oil tanker
in his butt.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Do what't now, h don't smuggle drugs, feillure. That's the point.
Maybe you should have gone with the prison wallet. Prison
wallet makes it funnier? Does that? Does it make it funnier?
Like the guy who does comedy for a living at
least part time? You know there's waste of new Oh
is that what you what it is? That's what I'm
thinking you would have done.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Mister Kenneth, would you agree that there's a problem in
this country with helping out military veterans?

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I guess I will. Yes. A lot of these twenty
first century military veterans have lost limbs, severed spinal injuries,
and sadly, custom fitted all terrain wheelchairs are very expensive.
Uh huh, I sense a big announcement coming. Yeah, this
is big. It's very important to us. The VA system
is overburdened, it is under budgeted, sadly, and insurance and

(01:31):
government programs often don't help out the men and women
that have risked life and limb in this country overseas,
often losing their ability to live their lives the way
they had planned to before they left for war. Now, no,
Barack Obama, what you what? Didn't they volunteer? If it
is so, shouldn't they just be on their own when
they come back. If you agree with Barack Obama, did yet,

(01:54):
that's your stance, and you can go ahead and shut
the radio off, move along, go somewhere else to listen
to another shitcause we needed about that I and we're
not about it. Mister. Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
These warriors gave everything and I think giving them the
tools to live fully is one of the most meaningful
ways civilians can say thank you. A little over a
decade ago, we started throwing these charity comedy shows every year.
We'd yeah, invite a few local comics out on a
Saturday night, and I think the first one that we
did there were like thirty people there, and then it

(02:23):
grew to fifty and last year we had several hundred.
So every year it gets a little bigger. Every year
we raise a little more money. We call it Operation
Comedy Therapy. We've taken this comedy show all over the region.
We've performed breweries and nightclubs and private theaters. We took
it to the PTSD Foundation a number of times, performed

(02:43):
a dry comedy show for disabled military veterans living in
a facility to help out folks suffering from PTSD.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
This is the big announcement. We're here to announce it
now that we have completely funded wheelchairs for warriors with
our efforts and no more donations are required. Is that
what we're happy to announce? No, not at all. No,
probably just about the opposite. Outside. Huh. Last year at
Operation Comedy Therapy, we were able to raise over one

(03:13):
hundred thousand dollars for disabled military veterans. Not bad because
it's just a bunch of comedians telling jokes. This year,
we are excited to announce we have the biggest lineup
we've ever had, a who's who list, some of the
funniest comedians from around the way volunteering, a night.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Filled with special guests. It is all going down. They've
got the date wrong on the website.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
What well, what is supposed to be It's supposed to
be Sunday September six, Okay, and what are they right?
The wrong day says Saturday September fifth. Oh, maybe somebody
changed it and they forgot to tell you. Yeah, No,
it's definitely Sunday September six, which is Labor Day weekend,
if I'm not mistaken.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah, it's gonna be Sunday, September sixth at five pm
at the tay Has Brewery.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh a minute, yeah you had me at brewery. Yeah, yeah,
it's a good time right there.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
God, I feel like such an a hole right now
we're reading it live on the air and the website's wrong.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Did you create the website?

Speaker 3 (04:16):
No?

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Did somebody we know create the website? Who not that
we want to call out anybody. It want to make
the correction and move along. But still I want to
make sure it wasn't anything you did. No, I don't
have the ability to do this. It took us days
to get this right. We were gonna do it yesterday
and it was rotten guys if Yeah. So the show's

(04:38):
at five pm on Sunday, September six at the Tayhas Brewery.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
This sells out every year every year. It's a big deal.
A lot of comedians come out.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Every year.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
The place is packed. We've never had people tell us
they didn't have fun ticket. Start at forty bucks. It
is a tax deductible donation. You're making the wheelchairs for Warriors.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
When you make more money for the charity Wheelchairs for Warriors.
If you charge more money for the tickets up to
a point, and then if you charge too much then
people don't come. Yeah, so you feel like you're riding
a sweet spot. Did Yeah? I want you to do
that Mohammed Mondami thing and do the take tickets are free.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Just make everything free. Well, we're trying to raise money
for wheelchairs. The wheel wheelchairs will don't make them for free.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
The wheelchairs are really expensive and unfortunately these people need
these things.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Now. You can give more money if you want. You
don't have to donate forty bucks, but if you want
to get more money. Last year, somebody gave us over
one hundred thousand dollars and that was really cool. I
think we made about one hundred and forty thousand dollars
last year. So you need that one big whale to
show up and just to throw it down.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Look, you give forty bucks, you give one hundred bucks,
you get fifty whatever it is, it's more than these
people had before, and this will change their life. If
you go look at Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org, you
can make a donation and you could change your life.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
And we need you to do it. And I promise
this will sell out.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
People always at the last minute, they always show up,
they always want to get in, and the place is
going to be packed. We are so excited to be
a Tayhos Brewery Sunday, September sixth, So please put it
on your calendar, come hang out with us a little
less than two months away.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
And did you mention where I would get tickets? Will forward?
They're sold out.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
I put links up on the Walton and Johnson Facebook
page and the and my Twitter account and also the
Walton and Johnson Instagram account, and you'll.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Find it at Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org. So you'll
get dead going for yeah, exactly. So they ain't nothing
about you getting engaged or getting married and nothing. People
have speculated since you didn't make the announcement right away.
Is this about Kenny? Is he getting married?

Speaker 1 (06:45):
It's about trying to not trying to make America a
better place by telling dirty jokes in a brewery. We
do it every year around this time of year.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
Speculation was also that we're moving to Colorado because somebody mentioned,
you know, wouldn't that be nice this time of year? Especially, No,
not as far as I know. Unless you guys are
leaving without me. You didn't give me any heads up.
And also, Steve's not retiring. That's good news. Yeah, yet

(07:13):
you know, No, I'm sticking around for a while. Yeah, exactly.
Steve's not going anywhere. Have you seen my bills? No?
You want some of them? No, I haven't seen your bills.
You should see. We got bills too, Yeah, you got bills. Yeah,
I got bills. You got bills. We all got all
of us better stick around then, yeah, we all got bills.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, anyway, as far as the big announcement goes, Look,
I think it's important, and I hope everybody else agrees.
Maybe you're disappointed. I don't know what to tell you.
We're a morning radio show. We tell jokes and we're
trying to help. That's maybe it was predictable.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
It's gonna be a big shoe. Is that Milton Burle
guy used to say, really big shoe?

Speaker 3 (07:48):
It was Ed.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Sullivan, Ed Sullivan. You know who I'm at right here
on the spur correct people. Yeah, it's getting aggravating as well.
It's doing ain't it's getting aggravating anybody else If Ed
Sullivan was stop doing things that I have to correct
because that's getting litt laggravating too. You know he was alive,
today'd probably be trams Oh. Hell yeah, miltain Burrow was
Meltain Burrow is Trams.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
He was one of the first on television to dress
up like a woman for comedic comedic effect. What about
Ed Sullivan? No, no, no, Ed was the guy that
had his shoulders up around his ears. He walked around
like that all day, right, share on the spurs stage
seem Yeah, but you gotta pull your shoulders up like
this good thing. Do it. He didn't have a neck. No,
pull your shoulders up and you'll hear the difference in

(08:32):
the in the impression. Maybe he needed a wheelchair. Yeah, wow,
rest in peace, Ed Sullivan. Unless he's still alive, is he?
Nobody knows.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
All I'm saying is if you have a boat this summer,
I have a throat.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Hi, can I rint a boat for the entire summer?
Wolton and Johnson. The White would work too, because it
was a raging river. Don't forget that one.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
So now in the early summer it's flooding in Hill country,
and then in the late summer it's hurricanes down at
the Gulf.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, we got the flooding right now. I don't know
if the canes were coming because we also got that
ninyo and he's supposed to be blowing them away. It's
not ninya, No, No, that's live ninya. This is el Ninno. Okay.
And I know they're gendering storms and weather patterns now
and that seems hurtful, but that's what they're doing. That
is what they're doing. So we're looking at some flood songs,

(09:23):
you know, because we like a theme around here. And
you know, of course our high Water Mama, six wee
high and rising. That's a good one. You know, everybody
loves that one. And I just thought of a little
Little White Dove, remember that song about running Bear and
little White Dove.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
You always tell us about songs that jump in the river.
We never we don't really play songs on the show.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Billy Oh. Yesterday we had this conversation while you were
playing songs like some Rolling Stone put a new album
out and no, we had to hear all of it.
But now we're a talk show. Yesterday I reminded you
of that and you said, well, no, we have to
hear this music.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Well, I only play about fifteen seconds of the song,
but you're right, we'll play it coming up behind.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
And of course then there's the my baby's on the
other side, because you know, because the bridge washed out
that old story about the guy's gonna get married. He
woke up in the morning and rain was a coming down,
and the galley was gonna marry was on the bridge
across the bridge on the other side of town, and
and I didn't know what to do because the bridge
washed out. I can't swim and my baby's on the

(10:22):
other side. It's a good one. So you know, any
of those you just run with it whenever you feel
like it. Sure, that's that's a great idea.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Sports and uh did anybody notice that Argentina came from
behind and won that game in last moment heroics? And
did anybody predict that? Oh? Oh everybody did? Oh okay, yeah,
because that's how feef work. Is there racism and bias?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (10:53):
In the World Cup soccer? I think Argentina is a
little two year up for me. That's all I know. Yeah,
everybody says so well too, European for Latin America. These
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(11:16):
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Speaker 1 (11:18):
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Speaker 2 (11:29):
Code promo code wjbaby, will you J never give up?
Never quit like Argentina, you know, because they know the
referees got their back if they did take a little break.
So Argentina sluck one in to break to tie to
to one with the final, so now be Argentina versus Spain.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
England's Jude Bellingham actually slapped one of the players from Argentina,
Valentine Varco.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Well, that seems rude. Yeah, moments after loss he slapped him.
Oh so he didn't care about getting in trouble after
the match. Huh, didn't matter. It was over at that point.
Still have to play another match. Remember we're learning to
say match and nil and stuff like that for the
rest of the week. I'm not learning, No, it's just
for the rest of the week. Oh well, for the
rest of the week. That's tomorrow. England and France then

(12:21):
play on Saturday to see who comes in third, because
nobody wants to be fourth. Nobody, you know, fourth sucks third,
you know much better, all right.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
So Argentina pulled off a comeback, stunning England two to
one in the semi finals, and that's about as exciting
as it catch when it comes to soccer.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
For Argentina Spain for the final on Sunday. And I
guess you know who everybody's you know, the world loving
a Missy. You ever listened to him call any of that,
because I know you don't watch much of so why
would you? But well, like for there was a fifteen
second clip they played where Argentina was moving the ball,

(12:59):
driving where and then they are gonna score and this
was the play. But play m hm. Messy touches the
ball with his left foot. Messy now uses his right
foot back to his left. Messy cuts to the left,
he moves to the right, he pulls his foot back,
Messy strikes the ball. Messy sends them all high. Messy scars.
They just can't hear themselves. I guess what is all

(13:23):
the excitement about, too. I've been to plenty of great
football games, baseball games, World Series, Super Bowls, championships of
college and all this stuff, and you don't see anybody
in this country get as excited as the soccer fans
do over their team taking the field. Yeah, they just

(13:45):
run out at the start of the game. And these
people are losing their minds are screaming, and the fans
are as bad as the players about oh, I guess
because they don't score very often, so when they do
manage to kick a ball into the net, everybody is
just shocked and exploding with losing their mind.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Have you ever been to a pro soccer game match
match match, It's very anti indoor soccer.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
We've been to and they were a lot of fun.
I don't understand what they're cheering for. There's nothing going on,
and everyone's screaming yeah because they kicked the ball and
then the other guy, you know, hit it with his
head and knocked it the other way. They're losing him
by I don't care how excited Americans get over our
favorite sport. We never act like that.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
No.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
I mean, in Philadelphia, sure they kind of get a little,
and some of the Oakland Raider fans when they were
in Oakland. You know, I'm sure they still do it
in Vegas, but for the most.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Part, imagine if someone hit a foul ball at a
baseball and.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Everyone freaks out, freaking out.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Uh kaream amp Jewel Duel Jabbar is publicly criticizing Caitlin Clark.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
For being white. Yeah, mainly. Yeah, Yeah, he's checked in
all white and everything. He's trying to say she's not
the face of the league, some black lady that you've
never heard Odd Joe Wilson, you know who that is. Yeah,
but nobody else does.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Clark's the one shattering the viewership records, selling jerseys and
record numbers, bringing casual fans to WNBA. And I still
don't care. But isn't it weird that Kareem abdul jabbars
to pretend the ratings don't lie. You guys, if killing
Clark's there, people pay attention. If she's not, they don't.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
The only reason she's chattering records and drawing attendance, it
is because she's white. We all know that that's not fair,
that's cheating. All right, you guys want to talk about baseball.
It's a sport. I wouldn't do it England yet. You know,
England sofered a huge loss. They was hoping to go
to the final. They ain't going to the final. But
the British Open store today and you know what they
have that in England? Yeah, in Britain. Yeah, it's a

(15:46):
good place for the British Open because Britain somewhere. It's
probably over there in England somewhere. Some sometimes they got
a place called like the Royal True or you know
something royal. They like to put a lot of royal
things and stuff. I thought it True was nick name
for a trainy. I'm not sure what that is. It's
like a thing on the internet. They got it's trim fast.
Astros are trading, have already tried. It's a done deal.

(16:09):
They didn't even check with us. First Lamps mcculloughs. After
twelve years pitching for the Strolls, they say, want you
gonna play for Milwaukee for a while. So he had
a clause in the contract there and that he couldn't
be traded. But then he said, but I waved at
I guess he wanted out. Oh, he just knows somebody
in Milwaukee. I don't. Rangers start the second half of

(16:32):
the baseball season in first place in the division, ahead
of the Astros by a couple of games, and the
Braves still in the first place in new division. But I'm
telling you that that window is getting closed. Ronald Lacuna
Junior starting his rehab Stanton. There's pies around the home
run Derby that he may have. Well anyway, he's got
an injury, they say, and that could affect the team

(16:55):
over there. So yeah, I know, not looking good. In
the meantime, the Savannah Bananas ruined the SP's last night.
Not that I was gonna watch, but the baseball clowns
opened the SP's with a full dance number.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
They got roasted. Nobody wanted to see men dancing like that.
It's sports, It's not Broadway SNL cast member Marcelo Hernandez
hosted last night, and I wasn't It wasn't terrible.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
Welcome to the SB Awards. Thank you so much for
being here. This is the only award show when none
of the nominees were bullied in high school. I am
Marcello Nandez, and I am the first Latino to host
the SB Awards in over twenty five years?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Did you and not existed?

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Joe?

Speaker 3 (17:39):
I want to shout out last year's host, Shane Gillis.
He is watching from home like a true American on
his couch drinking a beer while a Hispanic guy does
his job.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Nice. That's pretty funny. I'm good with that.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Marcelo Hernandez took some shots at Jake Paul and Bill Belichick.

Speaker 3 (17:58):
So must say, it's an honor to be here among
so many incredible athletes.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
And Jake Paul, it's gonna get you beat up.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
My dad and my stepdad are both here and they're
over fifty, and I know that's how you like them.
The Knicks won their first championship since nineteen seventy three,
And to put into perspective, how long ago that was.
In nineteen seventy three, hockey players didn't wear helmets, basketball
had no three point line, and in nineteen seventy three,

(18:28):
Bill Belichick was the age his girlfriend is now.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
Hum, thanks for this. Very true. It's not a joke, okay.
So this last sports story before we go to break
here is going to confuse you, billy, And it's.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
Kind of a who's on first thing. They're gonna make
a movie about Rocky, but it's not about Rocky. What
it's about Sylvester Stallone trying to make the movie Rocky.
Um huh, yeah, you know he started out.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
I don't know if you knew that, right, I get that.
The trail confused.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
So there's a trailer out for Sylvester Stallone's fight to
play the starring role in his own script of Rocky.
The trailer came out yesterday, the movies about Sylvester Stallone
wanting to make a movie called Rocky.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
It is an interesting story. I think a lot of
people have already heard it, but you know, the young
generation coming up, maybe they're interested as well. So we'll
see how they do. Who's gonna play Sylvester Stallone? Anthony Appolito.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
He has Slies mannerisms in the voice down pretty well,
though some think it's a little watered down delusion.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
You don't get the looks to be a movie star.
You talk like you got rocks in your mouth all
the way. We get to show people, and we have
to write a script for myself and give yourself the
best part.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
You wrote this in three and a half days. This
is freaking good that someone like Chuck Bronson or would
do Eastwood guys.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
I play Rocky. So the writer wants to be in
it as the lead. No, absolutely not. Throw some money
at him. Twenty five k No, I'm not getting this
up enough for a million books. I can see less
a bit.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
I'm not saying it's gonna be a dumb movie, but
the title is I play Rocky, I think we could
do better.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
It gave me this nine mel for my thirteenth birthday.
I always remember what she wrote in the card, Jesus
Loves Winners Walton and Johnson Radio Network