Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Into my head.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I want to see if Johnny Cochran had a cool
song like Shaft. You know, he's got a theme song.
And what I ended up finding was, back in the
nineteen fifties, there was a white guy named Johnny Cochran.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Whoa whoa, whoa, that a that a JC. That's just
some white dude. I'll tell you, I'm gonna be honest
with you. I don't even know if he's white. I
just found this song and you thought, well, he just
sounds white.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You know, you're right, he could be a brother. I
don't know, he could be Asian. I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
We don't know. What do you think I'm thinking of
a white lips that's got the libs said lips? Okay, good.
I don't think they were saying about libs back then.
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's like a hundreds of years ago, bro, that would
have been based. That'd be super red pilled. If way
back in the day those guys were getting out in
front of the culture war like that.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, they didn't they even they didn't even know there
was a culture war. Back then, they only had two genders,
and men could only have sex with women, and women
didn't even have sex back. No, they didn't do that,
they just received it. Those they weren't wholes. That's what
that's never mind. Happy birthday to which famous celebrities like
your favorite country song singer Lil naz X Oh God,
(01:14):
superstar of Something. He's twenty seven years young today. What
an evolution in his career.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
He went from doing country rap music with Miley Cyrus's
dad to being on Sesame Street and then immediately doing
gay porn where he gives a lap dance to the devil.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
And that's when you heard of him. That was all
in like a month. Yeah, yeah, that's when Kenny picked
up on the news. Elle Fanning, that's Dakota's younger sister.
We've known these Fanning girls since they were little children
in movies and stuff. Elle is now twenty eight years old.
I don't know if you saw the movie, but something
(01:51):
tells me one of you did Predator bad Lands. That
was cool, man, that was really good. You know, you
have a predator in there and he's going out hunting,
you know, to prove his predator the strength and whatnot.
That's right, I remember that. And then he meets this
android or robot or whatever she is. And she's real funny.
Well that's el Fanning, that's it. Yeah, she played the robot.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Here's what I wondered, Billy ed, you got the predator,
you got Whoopie Goldberg.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
What do you need both of them for? We don't.
And it's always been my stance that we could do
without Whoopee yeah, and just leave the predators alone. Just
happy to that predator movies. What did the predator do wrong?
You know, leave him alone and they kill them aliens,
you know, the aliens and aliens the there was a
show called Aliens Predator. Yeah, and then the predators hunt
(02:40):
the aliens because that's like, you know, hunting the wiliest
animal in the forest.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
And we had this idea for a TV show where
a group of illegal aliens hunts down a child predator
and whoever kills him first gets to stay in America.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
But I thought the alle aliens were the child predator.
Well sometimes they are, but like in this context, we
like double agents. We choose guys that kind of like
we're just here at just the civil crime. The guys
with the lawnmowers, yeah, exactly. You know, it was like
the cleaning lady, not the child sex trafficker. Wait, this
is your lucky day, Kenny. One of your favorite actresses
is also having a birthday today. Kristin Stewart is thirty six,
(03:16):
and everybody loves her and everything she's ever been in.
I can't think about her without thinking about women's armpit hair.
Oh yeah, well that's unsavorite. She looks like she's on Heroin.
That's her thing now, that's her heroin chic. But Heroin
chic isn't in anymore. That was the nineties. Leyton Measter
is forty. If you know who that is, Albert Hammond Junior.
Not to be, you know, confused with Albert Hammond Senior.
(03:40):
There's different people. Albert Junior is forty six today. Okay,
Keisha Knight Pulliam, do you remember who she is? No, Rudy,
Oh yeah, oh Rudy, Yeah, of course. Rudy Huxtable is
forty seven years old now, Rude Ludy, Rudy and the
Football movie that was cool. She was good in that. Yeah. No.
(04:03):
Jenna Jamison a little bit of a checkered pass. But
now she's a wife, a mom and a conservative. Yeah,
she's fifty two. She's really into religion these days. It's
makes sense because it's my understanding. She loves getting down
on it on her knees. Yea, yeah, yeah, a good one.
Cynthia Nixon from Sex and the City, the lesbian one,
(04:23):
Yeah sixty. Wouldn't she had lesbian because you know, she
wasn't hot and there wouldn't have many enough men to
be interested, so she just decided to go to the
women's side. You know, it's weird about that. It happens
now that show's become so old, they're kind of like Friends.
Liberals now think it's problematic. Oh sure, they say it's
too heterosexual. Oh yeah, it's a show about four women.
(04:45):
Even the lesbian was pretending to be hetero. I know,
you know, they made her like me. And and they
say Friends is too white. Yeah. I don't know why,
but that makes me want to watch Friends in Sex
in the City, even though I never had an interest
in either. Ever, it is Quaid seventy two and no
longer with him. Hugh Hefner born on this state, nineteen
(05:06):
twenty six. Wow, you would have been one hundred. Carl
Perkins a rock and roll thing. He wrote Blue Swede
Shoes for I Guess for Elvis or Elvis stole it.
I don't know. And the guy that invented birth control pill,
Gregory Pinkus, A guy invented it. That's so funny. Yeah,
that's awesome. Wasn't that great? I think the wives back
(05:30):
in the nineteen fifties were mostly home inventing dinner while
the men were out working and inventing birth control pills.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah, that reminds me of another thing you were just
talking about. Did you see this thing with Hugh Heffner
and the former Playboy bunnies? I forget which one it was,
Holly or Sentiment or who knows. And as she's saying
that she was disgusted by the sex acts that Hugh
Heffner used to make her perform for him. Yeah, but yeah,
but you lived with him voluntarily for over seven years.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
She didn't run away, did she? Yeah, you wanted to
be rich and famous, so you did it anyway. I
don't know. It's hard to feel bad for you. Today
is a National Chinese Almond Cookie Day. Obviously Chinese Chinese
Almond Cookie Day. Oh, they're famous cookies. If you've never
had them, you should try them. It's also National Unicorn Day.
(06:21):
I got that on my list. I don't know what
you're supposed to do with that either. By the way,
your taxes are doing six days? Oh is it April? Oh?
I gotta get on my taxes, all right.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I got Master's Thursday, National Gin and Tonic Day, National
Former Pow Day. So just the guys that got rescued,
National Mature Women's Day, National SMR Day.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't know what that means. Oh, it's when you
make those noises. The Do you know how they have
videos on the internet where oh, oh ah, ah, have
what she's having? No, no, no, oh you know how
they have videos on the internet where you can watch
people eat. Well, they also have videos on the internet
where you can and listen to people crumble paper. That's
(07:03):
a thing, yeah, or like they make soft noises. I
don't understand it. And here's my favorite. It's National Winston
Churchill Day. Did you know he was an honorary US citizen.
JFK held the ceremony in nineteen sixty three. I had
no idea. That changes everything. What do you mean, Well,
it's this this revelation that you've just passed on.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Well, they don't like him now because they think he's racist,
and he was a little uppity and which kind of
goes with the being white and English and his voice
wasn't actually that koy going well you have just big
on the fight and you're like, what do you why
do you talk like skeletor that's weird?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right? Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure that was actually captured,
you know, the essence of the man. But it's a
good effort, all right. Today in history is proudly brought
to you by Oh yeah, law Tigers. They do great work.
If you're a motorcycle rider, you're getting an accident, you
call it, call the old lady, let her know you're okay,
if you're okay, or which hospital are taking you to,
(08:02):
and then call law Tigers one eight hundred. Lawtigers is
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Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's a smart idea. Yeah, I know, because it doesn't
cost anything. I mean, after getting in the motorcycle accident,
you're gonna want to make sure you're watching your coins.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Probably best to reach out to them ahead of time
when you don't need them, just to let them know
who you are and that you know you're glad they're
on your side. Can you do that? Yeah, you can
just send them a care package. Shoot the breeze a
little bit, and that way they know you. When you
call back later, they won't be annoyed or anything. No,
they like people.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Today, in seventeen seventy, Captain James Hook discovers Botany Bay
in Australia.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
That's pretty exciting. Hook's kind of neat, right, It's got
a cool name.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Today, in eighteen fifty nine, Samuel Clemens Mark Twain received
his steamboat pilot's license.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I like that too, I think that's cool.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Today, in eighteen seventy two, Sam Percy gets a patent
for dried milk.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And where would we be without that? Did you skip
the end of the Civil War because we mentioned it earlier?
Because that happened in eighteen sixty five? Yeah, I wanted
you to do it. Oh did you? Yeah? Go ahead?
That's there? You go? Is that it? You did not
want to say anymore? No, that's it. Civil War ended
on this date, all right. Today.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
In nineteen hundred, British troops route to the boars in
South Africa.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Oh, they tore them bores a new one, boy, they
really did, yes, sir. Today forty five d trich Bonhoffer
is hanged or hung just days before the Allied tracks
liberated the pow camp holding him hostage. No I knowday
late and a dollar short. Today.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
In nineteen fifty nine, NASA introduces us to the first
class of astronauts.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I had a picture of it on the screen somewhere
here we go, these of the first astronauts Mercury seven.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I'm gonna ask mister Kenneth, because it'll be wasted on
the rest of you. Tell me what you noticed about
their uniforms, mister Kenneth, Very shiny, very shiny.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Do you think that was necessary back then? Well, maybe
they thought it would reflect the sun's heat away from
them and maybe save their lives. So it looks like
the kind of thing that firefighters used to wear when
they run into buildings are on fire, or guys that
are pouring the molten steel in a factory, they wear
that protective gear.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I was wondering if they did that on purpose. I
also noticed they're all white men, but that's besides the point.
I'm sure we all understood that these suits were modified
from existing US Navy high altitude pressure suits.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
The aluminum coating.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Reflected a high percentage of incoming radiant teats.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Thank you. It also aided in radiating the astronaut's body
heat outward when needed. This separated the suit's internal cooling
system from the capsule's cabin cooling, reducing strain on both
in the tiny spacecraft. Kind of neat, right, And once
they did what year was it they got Astronauts nineteen
fifty nine, and then just six years later they opened
(10:46):
the Astrodome in Houston, named because of astro knots. You
get that? Yeah? How about that? It is kind of neat.
Do you guys know who hit the very first home
run in the astronom's history? Oh, Bob Buker, No, okay,
(11:07):
who is it? Mickey Mantle? Wow? He was still alied
back then. That's amazing. It was still playing like then
it was sixty five.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Well, I like that. I'm a big fan of him.
I always thought he had a cool name because it
reminds me of Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
They did have a good restaurant, eight at that restaurant
years ago when we was working out of New York City?
Is that right? What your order? Yeah? I fail, I
don't know what it was, but you enjoyed it. Yeah,
it was good.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
There was a fancy probably at that point in your life.
He hadn't been to a lot of fans.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Fancy right there at the southern the end of the
south end of Central Park. Yeah, yeah, I forget eighty
seventy nine whatever. It was one of m streets down there,
So he was nineteen sixty five. The astrodome opened briefly
with real grass. Did you know that. Yeah. They thought
the little the solar I mean off the solar panels
(11:54):
through panels in the roof would let the sunlight in
it created a terrarium effect. Than that did not do,
was what they thought it might. On the very same day,
the entire cast of Peanuts was featured on the cover
of Time magazine. Remember magazines. That's big time back in
those days. Today, in nineteen sixty eight, Doctor King was buried. Today.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
In nineteen seventy, Paul McCarney announced the breakup of the Beatles,
and to remember them and honor the band right now,
we will not play any of their music.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
That's right, because they broke up. Yeah, if they wanted
to get their music here on the show, they should
have stayed together. It's exactly correct. So next time think
about it. You know your actions they have consequences. It's true.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Today, in two thousand and three, US forces take Bagdad.
A statue of Saddam Hussein was pulled down on live TV.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I remember seeing that. Today. In two thousand and five,
Prince Charles now the King, married Camilla Parker Bowles and
he fantasized about being her feminine hygiene product. Yeah, that's
kind of creepy.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And finally, today, in twenty twenty five, the stock market
jumped twenty nine hundred points as the President paused his
tariffs for ninety days. They Yeah, you don't remember. The
stock market got up to fifty thousand. That was why
Pam Bondi said, it doesn't matter that Jeffrey Epstein trafficked
little girls. Okay remember that.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, that's not what she meant, but you know that's
how it came out. That's how it sounded to me. Yeah,
all right, And that was today in history, history, history, history.
That was fun, right, guys, learned anything? Oh, all kinds
of stuff. I forgot what it was. Oh. The sons
of Geronimo still suffering from propeller lag or nipped by
(13:30):
the brewers tonight summoned to nothing. Stay tuned for more.
Waltman Johnson this is the part where we're supposed to talk.
She's singing all over our talking parts. I was a
gyant the andrew Sisters. I admit it. They do make
me feel amorous. I don't want to get you too
excited to suit excited like the Andrews Sisters do every
(13:52):
time I look at them. The way they work on you.
Oh man, do they do that? True out today from
the world of medicine and science and you know all
that crap. Sure, they've discovered a bacteria that eats cancer. Really,
how cool is that? Wouldn't that be wonderful after all
this time, all these you know, drugs and poisons they
give you, and and it turns out it's like, oh yeah,
(14:15):
we could just let this bacteria just roam around in
your body and find cancer and just eat it. I
don't know if that's how it works exactly, because I'm not,
you know, like a scientist or anything like that. And
I didn't read the whole article because they take way
too long to get to the point and most of
these articles these days, but the headline was exciting, that's.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Really great news. The only part that makes me sad
is the homicide that's about to happen. Which one is
that the one where they're going to murder the person
that invented this and everyone they've ever met to make
sure this doesn't get right, and then murder the journalist,
and then probably murder us for telling people for even
mentioning it, and then murder everyone who listens to this
radio show. And now that they know, boy, that's gonna
be But you know, it's a lot of murder. Yeah,
(14:56):
but there's a lot of money involved in treating cancer,
not curing it. No, no, no, Curing cancer doesn't help them
at all. Trading cancer that's the bee's knees instead of
killing us.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Maybe they could just uh round up all this cancer
eating bacteria and own it, you know, and if the
medical world owns it, they could charge anything for it.
You want to bacteria to eat? You cancel a million dollars?
You like a patent pending kind of thing, That's what
I'm talking about right there? Can't you know the words
words again? Patent pending, patent pending pending. Okay, let's do that. Well,
(15:30):
we're dad, that's all right. That ain't gonna help post
nothing because we ain't got a million dollars that sucks.
I didn't want to get get alone. I didn't want
to get murdered. Today. Today's a gym day for me.
I'm supposed to lift water. Ah boy, he's not gonna
lift if you're murdered. And my buddy Bob, he's coaching today.
I like when Bob's here. He's always out.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
He's funny, you know, he's got He regales us with
anecdotes about American history while we're lifting weights.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Is the best I know. Oh my god, I know,
I just go just not even lift, just to be regaled.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Well, anyway, we're getting murdered. Nothing we could do about it,
so I accept it, you know. Oh no, this is
sad news. I mean, okay.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
First of all, do you remember Rachel Dolazol. Rachel Dolozol
was the white NAACP leader from Olympia, Washington who lived
her life as a black woman, and then sometime later,
after she became canceled, she created an OnlyFans account. The
photos were leaked onto Twitter and we were all shocked
(16:26):
to find out she actually has a pretty nice body.
She's a white woman who identifies as black. It's pretty
much made a living out of pretending to be black.
She recently had some melanoma or skin cancer removed, and
the doctors told her that she cannot tan anymore because
(16:47):
of the skin cancer, and it would you know, it
create more problems. So now she's not going to be
able to look tan, which was her way of saying,
I'm pretty much black. Trust me, mister row give me
your we're looking at She's a she's a fantastic body.
(17:08):
You would not have thought that about her, would you.
I wouldn't have thought that. Would you have thought that
about Rachel Dolozol. When you see these pictures, you're like,
wait a second, that's her. Good lord, I would not
have expected that. Hr is not going to appreciate you
putting those those pictures up on that screen. First of all,
this is a news story. Hr ain't here are they?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
This is a news story. I don't get to decide
she she's a news phenomenon. The news was not about
what she looks like naked. The news was about the
black She can't tend to pretend to be black anymore.
I don't get to decide if which politicians went to
Epstein Island. When I'm talking about Epstein Island, I don't
get to talk about I don't get to decide which
countries are infected by the tariffs.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
She can still tand she's stings supposed to get in
the sun. You know. They got pills and drops and
things you can just eat and drink. And boy does
that sound like a bad idea. Hey take this pill
and you'll look tanned tomorrow. Oh yeah, that sounds perfectly healthy.
I noticed it.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Half the year when it's sunning out, I'm a POC
and the other half the year I'm not. It's taken
some getting used to, but I've learned to accept it.
The other day, I ran into someone I hadn't seen
since Christmas, and they said, they're like, Kenny, are you
using a tanning bed?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right? You're darker now than you were in the midst
of the midst of the cold, dreary winter. I'm not
doing anything but going outside a little more than I
was when it was cold and cloudy out. And I
mean it, yeah, yeah, that's why you get in and
I mean a little more, like this much more.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I was like, it's that much more. I now qualify
for a college scholarship. That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Let's see, how can he turns this into a story
about him. Kochilla is this weekend. If you can't make it,
don't worry. They'll be live streaming all seven stages simultaneously.
Oh my god, that is more entertainment than you're probably
even allowed to have.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I do have an interesting take on this, you might,
but before I give it to you, real quick, because
this does affect everyone.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Real quick. Do you have to pay to watch the
live streamer? Is it free? Well? I didn't say in
the story. It just said they're doing it. I'm gonna
say something dumb. You're gonna hate what I say. And
then later today you're going to realize I'm right. If
we can't figure out this Iran thing before music festival
season starts on Friday, the Republicans are going to get
their asses handed to them in November. And why is that?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Because a lot of people have been kind of checked
out for the last couple of years. The presidential election happened,
Kamala lost. You're a young person in America. Maybe you
like Trump, maybe you didn't. Now you're checked out. Now
you're going back to music festival season. Calla bonarou lollapalooza,
ACL all the different stuff that's happening.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
What about Jeff Fish? All of it?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Okay exactly? Yeah, Suddenly you're going to be in a
music environ. You're me at a festival.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
There's going to be a pop star on stage, a
rock star, a rapper, and edm DJ whatever it is.
For some reason, anti war rhetoric and music festivals lend
themselves to each other very well. It's like chocolate and
peanut butter. You get what I'm saying. I get that. Yeah,
it's they just pair well. And whether you believe it
or not, whether you agree with it or not, this
(20:15):
you know week, you're gonna be here in post Malone,
Ariana Grande, you know, Morgan Wallen. Pick a guy on
stage in front of one hundred thousand people, and what
about this war? We're they're gonna say the dumbest thing ever.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Oh yeah, it's gonna resonate with a bunch of twenty somethings.
They're gonna remember it, They're gonna go vote. I know
it's stupid, but it matters. What did Andrew Bright say?
Politics is downstream from culture? I really wish I hadn't
brought it up. Well, but it affects your life now suddenly,
I know it's stupid, right, Billy d It's stupid.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It sounds pretty stupid. But what I just said is
a Coachella a massive music festival. Okay, yeah, no, it's huge.
It's a big music festival. Is that two words? Like coach? No,
that's one word. I think. I don't know what it means.
A la lapalu, I do know what that means. A
Lollapalooza is like a giant lollipop, like from the old movies. Ooh,
(21:06):
I don't know what a bonooo is. Not only are
they going to be streaming all the seven stages simultaneously
from the Kotilla Stages outdoor theater, it will be available
in four K, and the Quasar stage can be viewed
in either horizontal or vertical format, which this is big time,
(21:26):
which seems stupid, but some people are gonna want to
watch it on their phone. Yeah, it is stupid. So
Kachella is named after the Kachella Valley well, of course,
where they used to ride in coaches, not football coaches
like like wagons. A stage coach. You know you've probably
seen a stage coach, right, I was wrong about the
(21:47):
lallapalooza thing. Oh, I know you were wrong about that.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
It's an archaic early twentieth century American term meaning an
unusual thing, person, or event fitting. The festivals aim to
be impressive, diverse and large scale event. And then why
is it called a Bonnaroo? A Bonnaeroo is named after
the I don't even understand. It's a testively Bonneroo by
New Orleans musician doctor John.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Does that make any sense to you? Uh?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Doctor, I know about Doctor John. I guess he had
a nineteen seventy four album. That's what the music festival
is named after. Doctor John's song.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well, that's pretty pretty cool. Here's why it's not. I
don't think he was ever booked there, probably not. What
they probably created it after. That's offensive. I'm offended for
him and he's not even alive. Yeah yeah, so there.
Unless they booked him, then I apologize and I take
it all back. You have no idea. No, The more
you listen, the more you'll know. Walton M. Johnson
Into my head.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I want to see if Johnny Cochran had a cool
song like Shaft. You know, he's got a theme song.
And what I ended up finding was, back in the
nineteen fifties, there was a white guy named Johnny Cochran.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Whoa whoa, whoa, that a that a JC. That's just
some white dude. I'll tell you, I'm gonna be honest
with you. I don't even know if he's white. I
just found this song and you thought, well, he just
sounds white.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You know, you're right, he could be a brother. I
don't know, he could be Asian. I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
We don't know. What do you think I'm thinking of
a white lips that's got the libs said lips? Okay, good.
I don't think they were saying about libs back then.
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's like a hundreds of years ago, bro, that would
have been based. That'd be super red pilled. If way
back in the day those guys were getting out in
front of the culture war like that.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, they didn't they even they didn't even know there
was a culture war. Back then, they only had two genders,
and men could only have sex with women, and women
didn't even have sex back. No, they didn't do that,
they just received it. Those they weren't wholes. That's what
that's never mind. Happy birthday to which famous celebrities like
your favorite country song singer Lil naz X Oh God,
(01:14):
superstar of Something. He's twenty seven years young today. What
an evolution in his career.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
He went from doing country rap music with Miley Cyrus's
dad to being on Sesame Street and then immediately doing
gay porn where he gives a lap dance to the devil.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
And that's when you heard of him. That was all
in like a month. Yeah, yeah, that's when Kenny picked
up on the news. Elle Fanning, that's Dakota's younger sister.
We've known these Fanning girls since they were little children
in movies and stuff. Elle is now twenty eight years old.
I don't know if you saw the movie, but something
(01:51):
tells me one of you did Predator bad Lands. That
was cool, man, that was really good. You know, you
have a predator in there and he's going out hunting,
you know, to prove his predator the strength and whatnot.
That's right, I remember that. And then he meets this
android or robot or whatever she is. And she's real funny.
Well that's el Fanning, that's it. Yeah, she played the robot.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Here's what I wondered, Billy ed, you got the predator,
you got Whoopie Goldberg.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
What do you need both of them for? We don't.
And it's always been my stance that we could do
without Whoopee yeah, and just leave the predators alone. Just
happy to that predator movies. What did the predator do wrong?
You know, leave him alone and they kill them aliens,
you know, the aliens and aliens the there was a
show called Aliens Predator. Yeah, and then the predators hunt
(02:40):
the aliens because that's like, you know, hunting the wiliest
animal in the forest.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
And we had this idea for a TV show where
a group of illegal aliens hunts down a child predator
and whoever kills him first gets to stay in America.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
But I thought the alle aliens were the child predator.
Well sometimes they are, but like in this context, we
like double agents. We choose guys that kind of like
we're just here at just the civil crime. The guys
with the lawnmowers, yeah, exactly. You know, it was like
the cleaning lady, not the child sex trafficker. Wait, this
is your lucky day, Kenny. One of your favorite actresses
is also having a birthday today. Kristin Stewart is thirty six,
(03:16):
and everybody loves her and everything she's ever been in.
I can't think about her without thinking about women's armpit hair.
Oh yeah, well that's unsavorite. She looks like she's on Heroin.
That's her thing now, that's her heroin chic. But Heroin
chic isn't in anymore. That was the nineties. Leyton Measter
is forty. If you know who that is, Albert Hammond Junior.
Not to be, you know, confused with Albert Hammond Senior.
(03:40):
There's different people. Albert Junior is forty six today. Okay,
Keisha Knight Pulliam, do you remember who she is? No, Rudy,
Oh yeah, oh Rudy, Yeah, of course. Rudy Huxtable is
forty seven years old now, Rude Ludy, Rudy and the
Football movie that was cool. She was good in that. Yeah. No.
(04:03):
Jenna Jamison a little bit of a checkered pass. But
now she's a wife, a mom and a conservative. Yeah,
she's fifty two. She's really into religion these days. It's
makes sense because it's my understanding. She loves getting down
on it on her knees. Yea, yeah, yeah, a good one.
Cynthia Nixon from Sex and the City, the lesbian one,
(04:23):
Yeah sixty. Wouldn't she had lesbian because you know, she
wasn't hot and there wouldn't have many enough men to
be interested, so she just decided to go to the
women's side. You know, it's weird about that. It happens
now that show's become so old, they're kind of like Friends.
Liberals now think it's problematic. Oh sure, they say it's
too heterosexual. Oh yeah, it's a show about four women.
(04:45):
Even the lesbian was pretending to be hetero. I know,
you know, they made her like me. And and they
say Friends is too white. Yeah. I don't know why,
but that makes me want to watch Friends in Sex
in the City, even though I never had an interest
in either. Ever, it is Quaid seventy two and no
longer with him. Hugh Hefner born on this state, nineteen
(05:06):
twenty six. Wow, you would have been one hundred. Carl
Perkins a rock and roll thing. He wrote Blue Swede
Shoes for I Guess for Elvis or Elvis stole it.
I don't know. And the guy that invented birth control pill,
Gregory Pinkus, A guy invented it. That's so funny. Yeah,
that's awesome. Wasn't that great? I think the wives back
(05:30):
in the nineteen fifties were mostly home inventing dinner while
the men were out working and inventing birth control pills.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah, that reminds me of another thing you were just
talking about. Did you see this thing with Hugh Heffner
and the former Playboy bunnies? I forget which one it was,
Holly or Sentiment or who knows. And as she's saying
that she was disgusted by the sex acts that Hugh
Heffner used to make her perform for him. Yeah, but yeah,
but you lived with him voluntarily for over seven years.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
She didn't run away, did she? Yeah, you wanted to
be rich and famous, so you did it anyway. I
don't know. It's hard to feel bad for you. Today
is a National Chinese Almond Cookie Day. Obviously Chinese Chinese
Almond Cookie Day. Oh, they're famous cookies. If you've never
had them, you should try them. It's also National Unicorn Day.
(06:21):
I got that on my list. I don't know what
you're supposed to do with that either. By the way,
your taxes are doing six days? Oh is it April? Oh?
I gotta get on my taxes, all right.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I got Master's Thursday, National Gin and Tonic Day, National
Former Pow Day. So just the guys that got rescued,
National Mature Women's Day, National SMR Day.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't know what that means. Oh, it's when you
make those noises. The Do you know how they have
videos on the internet where oh, oh ah, ah, have
what she's having? No, no, no, oh you know how
they have videos on the internet where you can watch
people eat. Well, they also have videos on the internet
where you can and listen to people crumble paper. That's
(07:03):
a thing, yeah, or like they make soft noises. I
don't understand it. And here's my favorite. It's National Winston
Churchill Day. Did you know he was an honorary US citizen.
JFK held the ceremony in nineteen sixty three. I had
no idea. That changes everything. What do you mean, Well,
it's this this revelation that you've just passed on.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Well, they don't like him now because they think he's racist,
and he was a little uppity and which kind of
goes with the being white and English and his voice
wasn't actually that koy going well you have just big
on the fight and you're like, what do you why
do you talk like skeletor that's weird?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right? Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure that was actually captured,
you know, the essence of the man. But it's a
good effort, all right. Today in history is proudly brought
to you by Oh yeah, law Tigers. They do great work.
If you're a motorcycle rider, you're getting an accident, you
call it, call the old lady, let her know you're okay,
if you're okay, or which hospital are taking you to,
(08:02):
and then call law Tigers one eight hundred. Lawtigers is
even a free call.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's a smart idea. Yeah, I know, because it doesn't
cost anything. I mean, after getting in the motorcycle accident,
you're gonna want to make sure you're watching your coins.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Probably best to reach out to them ahead of time
when you don't need them, just to let them know
who you are and that you know you're glad they're
on your side. Can you do that? Yeah, you can
just send them a care package. Shoot the breeze a
little bit, and that way they know you. When you
call back later, they won't be annoyed or anything. No,
they like people.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Today, in seventeen seventy, Captain James Hook discovers Botany Bay
in Australia.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
That's pretty exciting. Hook's kind of neat, right, It's got
a cool name.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Today, in eighteen fifty nine, Samuel Clemens Mark Twain received
his steamboat pilot's license.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I like that too, I think that's cool.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Today, in eighteen seventy two, Sam Percy gets a patent
for dried milk.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And where would we be without that? Did you skip
the end of the Civil War because we mentioned it earlier?
Because that happened in eighteen sixty five? Yeah, I wanted
you to do it. Oh did you? Yeah? Go ahead?
That's there? You go? Is that it? You did not
want to say anymore? No, that's it. Civil War ended
on this date, all right. Today.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
In nineteen hundred, British troops route to the boars in
South Africa.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Oh, they tore them bores a new one, boy, they
really did, yes, sir. Today forty five d trich Bonhoffer
is hanged or hung just days before the Allied tracks
liberated the pow camp holding him hostage. No I knowday
late and a dollar short. Today.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
In nineteen fifty nine, NASA introduces us to the first
class of astronauts.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I had a picture of it on the screen somewhere
here we go, these of the first astronauts Mercury seven.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I'm gonna ask mister Kenneth, because it'll be wasted on
the rest of you. Tell me what you noticed about
their uniforms, mister Kenneth, Very shiny, very shiny.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Do you think that was necessary back then? Well, maybe
they thought it would reflect the sun's heat away from
them and maybe save their lives. So it looks like
the kind of thing that firefighters used to wear when
they run into buildings are on fire, or guys that
are pouring the molten steel in a factory, they wear
that protective gear.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I was wondering if they did that on purpose. I
also noticed they're all white men, but that's besides the point.
I'm sure we all understood that these suits were modified
from existing US Navy high altitude pressure suits.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
The aluminum coating.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Reflected a high percentage of incoming radiant teats.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Thank you. It also aided in radiating the astronaut's body
heat outward when needed. This separated the suit's internal cooling
system from the capsule's cabin cooling, reducing strain on both
in the tiny spacecraft. Kind of neat, right, And once
they did what year was it they got Astronauts nineteen
fifty nine, and then just six years later they opened
(10:46):
the Astrodome in Houston, named because of astro knots. You
get that? Yeah? How about that? It is kind of neat.
Do you guys know who hit the very first home
run in the astronom's history? Oh, Bob Buker, No, okay,
(11:07):
who is it? Mickey Mantle? Wow? He was still alied
back then. That's amazing. It was still playing like then
it was sixty five.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Well, I like that. I'm a big fan of him.
I always thought he had a cool name because it
reminds me of Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
They did have a good restaurant, eight at that restaurant
years ago when we was working out of New York City?
Is that right? What your order? Yeah? I fail, I
don't know what it was, but you enjoyed it. Yeah,
it was good.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
There was a fancy probably at that point in your life.
He hadn't been to a lot of fans.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Fancy right there at the southern the end of the
south end of Central Park. Yeah, yeah, I forget eighty
seventy nine whatever. It was one of m streets down there,
So he was nineteen sixty five. The astrodome opened briefly
with real grass. Did you know that. Yeah. They thought
the little the solar I mean off the solar panels
(11:54):
through panels in the roof would let the sunlight in
it created a terrarium effect. Than that did not do,
was what they thought it might. On the very same day,
the entire cast of Peanuts was featured on the cover
of Time magazine. Remember magazines. That's big time back in
those days. Today, in nineteen sixty eight, Doctor King was buried. Today.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
In nineteen seventy, Paul McCarney announced the breakup of the Beatles,
and to remember them and honor the band right now,
we will not play any of their music.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
That's right, because they broke up. Yeah, if they wanted
to get their music here on the show, they should
have stayed together. It's exactly correct. So next time think
about it. You know your actions they have consequences. It's true.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Today, in two thousand and three, US forces take Bagdad.
A statue of Saddam Hussein was pulled down on live TV.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I remember seeing that. Today. In two thousand and five,
Prince Charles now the King, married Camilla Parker Bowles and
he fantasized about being her feminine hygiene product. Yeah, that's
kind of creepy.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And finally, today, in twenty twenty five, the stock market
jumped twenty nine hundred points as the President paused his
tariffs for ninety days. They Yeah, you don't remember. The
stock market got up to fifty thousand. That was why
Pam Bondi said, it doesn't matter that Jeffrey Epstein trafficked
little girls. Okay remember that.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, that's not what she meant, but you know that's
how it came out. That's how it sounded to me. Yeah,
all right, And that was today in history, history, history, history.
That was fun, right, guys, learned anything? Oh, all kinds
of stuff. I forgot what it was. Oh. The sons
of Geronimo still suffering from propeller lag or nipped by
(13:30):
the brewers tonight summoned to nothing. Stay tuned for more.
Waltman Johnson this is the part where we're supposed to talk.
She's singing all over our talking parts. I was a
gyant the andrew Sisters. I admit it. They do make
me feel amorous. I don't want to get you too
excited to suit excited like the Andrews Sisters do every
(13:52):
time I look at them. The way they work on you.
Oh man, do they do that? True out today from
the world of medicine and science and you know all
that crap. Sure, they've discovered a bacteria that eats cancer. Really,
how cool is that? Wouldn't that be wonderful after all
this time, all these you know, drugs and poisons they
give you, and and it turns out it's like, oh yeah,
(14:15):
we could just let this bacteria just roam around in
your body and find cancer and just eat it. I
don't know if that's how it works exactly, because I'm not,
you know, like a scientist or anything like that. And
I didn't read the whole article because they take way
too long to get to the point and most of
these articles these days, but the headline was exciting, that's.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Really great news. The only part that makes me sad
is the homicide that's about to happen. Which one is
that the one where they're going to murder the person
that invented this and everyone they've ever met to make
sure this doesn't get right, and then murder the journalist,
and then probably murder us for telling people for even
mentioning it, and then murder everyone who listens to this
radio show. And now that they know, boy, that's gonna
be But you know, it's a lot of murder. Yeah,
(14:56):
but there's a lot of money involved in treating cancer,
not curing it. No, no, no, Curing cancer doesn't help them
at all. Trading cancer that's the bee's knees instead of
killing us.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Maybe they could just uh round up all this cancer
eating bacteria and own it, you know, and if the
medical world owns it, they could charge anything for it.
You want to bacteria to eat? You cancel a million dollars?
You like a patent pending kind of thing, That's what
I'm talking about right there? Can't you know the words
words again? Patent pending, patent pending pending. Okay, let's do that. Well,
(15:30):
we're dad, that's all right. That ain't gonna help post
nothing because we ain't got a million dollars that sucks.
I didn't want to get get alone. I didn't want
to get murdered. Today. Today's a gym day for me.
I'm supposed to lift water. Ah boy, he's not gonna
lift if you're murdered. And my buddy Bob, he's coaching today.
I like when Bob's here. He's always out.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
He's funny, you know, he's got He regales us with
anecdotes about American history while we're lifting weights.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Is the best I know. Oh my god, I know,
I just go just not even lift, just to be regaled.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Well, anyway, we're getting murdered. Nothing we could do about it,
so I accept it, you know. Oh no, this is
sad news. I mean, okay.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
First of all, do you remember Rachel Dolazol. Rachel Dolozol
was the white NAACP leader from Olympia, Washington who lived
her life as a black woman, and then sometime later,
after she became canceled, she created an OnlyFans account. The
photos were leaked onto Twitter and we were all shocked
(16:26):
to find out she actually has a pretty nice body.
She's a white woman who identifies as black. It's pretty
much made a living out of pretending to be black.
She recently had some melanoma or skin cancer removed, and
the doctors told her that she cannot tan anymore because
(16:47):
of the skin cancer, and it would you know, it
create more problems. So now she's not going to be
able to look tan, which was her way of saying,
I'm pretty much black. Trust me, mister row give me
your we're looking at She's a she's a fantastic body.
(17:08):
You would not have thought that about her, would you.
I wouldn't have thought that. Would you have thought that
about Rachel Dolozol. When you see these pictures, you're like,
wait a second, that's her. Good lord, I would not
have expected that. Hr is not going to appreciate you
putting those those pictures up on that screen. First of all,
this is a news story. Hr ain't here are they?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
This is a news story. I don't get to decide
she she's a news phenomenon. The news was not about
what she looks like naked. The news was about the
black She can't tend to pretend to be black anymore.
I don't get to decide if which politicians went to
Epstein Island. When I'm talking about Epstein Island, I don't
get to talk about I don't get to decide which
countries are infected by the tariffs.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
She can still tand she's stings supposed to get in
the sun. You know. They got pills and drops and
things you can just eat and drink. And boy does
that sound like a bad idea. Hey take this pill
and you'll look tanned tomorrow. Oh yeah, that sounds perfectly healthy.
I noticed it.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Half the year when it's sunning out, I'm a POC
and the other half the year I'm not. It's taken
some getting used to, but I've learned to accept it.
The other day, I ran into someone I hadn't seen
since Christmas, and they said, they're like, Kenny, are you
using a tanning bed?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right? You're darker now than you were in the midst
of the midst of the cold, dreary winter. I'm not
doing anything but going outside a little more than I
was when it was cold and cloudy out. And I
mean it, yeah, yeah, that's why you get in and
I mean a little more, like this much more.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I was like, it's that much more. I now qualify
for a college scholarship. That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Let's see, how can he turns this into a story
about him. Kochilla is this weekend. If you can't make it,
don't worry. They'll be live streaming all seven stages simultaneously.
Oh my god, that is more entertainment than you're probably
even allowed to have.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I do have an interesting take on this, you might,
but before I give it to you, real quick, because
this does affect everyone.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Real quick. Do you have to pay to watch the
live streamer? Is it free? Well? I didn't say in
the story. It just said they're doing it. I'm gonna
say something dumb. You're gonna hate what I say. And
then later today you're going to realize I'm right. If
we can't figure out this Iran thing before music festival
season starts on Friday, the Republicans are going to get
their asses handed to them in November. And why is that?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Because a lot of people have been kind of checked
out for the last couple of years. The presidential election happened,
Kamala lost. You're a young person in America. Maybe you
like Trump, maybe you didn't. Now you're checked out. Now
you're going back to music festival season. Calla bonarou lollapalooza,
ACL all the different stuff that's happening.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
What about Jeff Fish? All of it?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Okay exactly? Yeah, Suddenly you're going to be in a
music environ. You're me at a festival.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
There's going to be a pop star on stage, a
rock star, a rapper, and edm DJ whatever it is.
For some reason, anti war rhetoric and music festivals lend
themselves to each other very well. It's like chocolate and
peanut butter. You get what I'm saying. I get that. Yeah,
it's they just pair well. And whether you believe it
or not, whether you agree with it or not, this
(20:15):
you know week, you're gonna be here in post Malone,
Ariana Grande, you know, Morgan Wallen. Pick a guy on
stage in front of one hundred thousand people, and what
about this war? We're they're gonna say the dumbest thing ever.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Oh yeah, it's gonna resonate with a bunch of twenty somethings.
They're gonna remember it, They're gonna go vote. I know
it's stupid, but it matters. What did Andrew Bright say?
Politics is downstream from culture? I really wish I hadn't
brought it up. Well, but it affects your life now suddenly,
I know it's stupid, right, Billy d It's stupid.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It sounds pretty stupid. But what I just said is
a Coachella a massive music festival. Okay, yeah, no, it's huge.
It's a big music festival. Is that two words? Like coach? No,
that's one word. I think. I don't know what it means.
A la lapalu, I do know what that means. A
Lollapalooza is like a giant lollipop, like from the old movies. Ooh,
(21:06):
I don't know what a bonooo is. Not only are
they going to be streaming all the seven stages simultaneously
from the Kotilla Stages outdoor theater, it will be available
in four K, and the Quasar stage can be viewed
in either horizontal or vertical format, which this is big time,
(21:26):
which seems stupid, but some people are gonna want to
watch it on their phone. Yeah, it is stupid. So
Kachella is named after the Kachella Valley well, of course,
where they used to ride in coaches, not football coaches
like like wagons. A stage coach. You know you've probably
seen a stage coach, right, I was wrong about the
(21:47):
lallapalooza thing. Oh, I know you were wrong about that.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
It's an archaic early twentieth century American term meaning an
unusual thing, person, or event fitting. The festivals aim to
be impressive, diverse and large scale event. And then why
is it called a Bonnaroo? A Bonnaeroo is named after
the I don't even understand. It's a testively Bonneroo by
New Orleans musician doctor John.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Does that make any sense to you? Uh?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Doctor, I know about Doctor John. I guess he had
a nineteen seventy four album. That's what the music festival
is named after. Doctor John's song.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well, that's pretty pretty cool. Here's why it's not. I
don't think he was ever booked there, probably not. What
they probably created it after. That's offensive. I'm offended for
him and he's not even alive. Yeah yeah, so there.
Unless they booked him, then I apologize and I take
it all back. You have no idea. No, The more
you listen, the more you'll know. Walton M. Johnson
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