Secret AI Car Meeting - MON 9.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm gonna get obnoxiously catholic.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Some of you aren't gonna like it. That won't surprise me.
I'm gonna be so catholic in a little bit. You're
gonna be like, damn, it's a lot of well, maybe
that's not the right word. Darn, dang it, dang blasted.
That's so catholic of you. Stick around.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
But first, mister Kenneth, you patiently wait all morning and
then do I patiently wait? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I mean we push this till nine am every day.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Further, Boy, how could we Happy birthday to the late
great Robin Williams born in the State nineteen fifty one. Wow,
he would be really old. H Do you know Temple?
That's Keeley from Ted Lasso. She's thirty six today. Rory

(00:47):
Culkin McCauley's little brother's thirty six today. He's in that
show Succession, right is he? Yeah? Possibly? Yeah. I don't
watch it, but I will say sure unless I find
out different.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
It's pretty goodhow it's about this guy and he's very successful,
but his kids are all a mess, a bunch of
goofball and he doesn't know who to leave the company to.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Boy, yeah, every father, that's the story about every dad.
This god just happened to have a lot more money
most of us. The tale is old as time itself.
Josh Hartnett, that great actor of actors, is forty seven
years old. Let's face it, you would love his acting
even if he wasn't gorgeous. Right, I'm not sure who

(01:27):
he is. Okay. He was in Pearl Harbor. Oh god,
that's one of the worst movie he's ever made. Yeah,
but he was handsome in it. They made a song
about how much it sucked for South South Park made
a song about how Pearl Harbor sucked. The song was
called them Pearl Harbor Sucks. And I love you Ali Landry,
miss USA back in nineteen ninety six. And of course,

(01:49):
the star of the greatest Dorito's commercials ever, she turns
fifty two this morning, and I'm sure she's making it
look good. Emerson, the lead singer from Tonic. Of course,
you know their work, can he he's fifty six today?

Speaker 3 (02:06):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Maybe not? Yeah, okay. Brandy Chastain fifty seven. She's the
young wood lady that ripped her shirt off after scoring
the winning goal in the Women's World Cup twenty six
years ago.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
And she doesn't get along with Megan Rabino, is it?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, that's good. That was twenty six years ago. It
was nineteen ninety nine. Wow, I know see now you're
even feeling it.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
I haven't thought about it at all since then, and
barely thought about it then.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
John Lovett is sixty eight.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, that's a tick. Have you seen him in the
TV show Tires?

Speaker 1 (02:45):
No? Oh, I watched a show called Tires.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Shane Gellis, Vince Vaughn, John LOVETTZ. That show is so good.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Who's in that one about the golf the stick? That's
the Oh no, that's Owen Wilson's work there. I haven't
seen that either.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, you gotta see. You gotta see Tigers. Thomas Hayden
Church is in it.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Oh, I do like him. Andrew Shaws is in it.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
It's a comedy made by a bunch of right wingers,
I mean, Vince Vaughan and Shane Gillis.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's great. Sounds like they might be rude though are
they rude? Sometimes they can be offensive?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Well, it's a comedy about a bunch of people that
work at a tire shop. Did you think they'd be
real polite? And that's gonna be fun. Yeah, doesn't that
that would be awful. If they were nice, it wouldn't
be Ron White's in it. It's really good, dude.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
This guy that used to be called Cat Stevens and
then decided he'll be use of Islam. Yeah, that guy.
He's seventy seven today. Gary Trudeau of Doonsbury fame is
also seventy seven. And the other celebrities. These are people
who have left us no longer around. Janet Reno, don Knotts,

(03:50):
and Ernest Hemingway all born on this same day. Don Knotts,
m hm. That guy was one of the greatest actors,
A real actor of all time, right there.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Ernest haming Away pretty cool too. The world breaks everyone,
and afterward some are strong at the broken places. A
man could be destroyed but not defeated. Courage is graced
under pressure. Let life throw a few punches. Still, the
man could take the beatings like a rock.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, but don not said things lack nip nippit in
the bud. Okay, so we got that going for you.
Here's another good one. Never go on trips with anyone
you do not love, oh boy, and even if you do,
good luck getting back. That is an interesting point of view.

(04:39):
And now all this day in history, who is it
proud to you by what i'd be law Tigers. A
lot of people have found out that law Tigers is
on your side way more than the insurance company that
you pay you think would be on your side.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
All right, So you get into a motorcycle accident, the
first thing you do is call one of your lovers.
I mean probably your wife, but maybe your mistress. Depends
what kind of career life you're living.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
What kind of a sorry human being you are?

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, what kind of vile, degenerate douche you are.
And then after you're done with that God and call
ony one hundred law Tigers. They're gonna help you out.
They're gonna sound No, it wasn't all No, we weren't
talking about anyone specifically. That wasn't a joke that only
a half a dozen people would understand.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Right.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Anyway, the important thing to remember here is one eight
hundred law Tigers.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
There you go. Yeah, on the state in eighteen sixty one,
I've got this on my list too. You might assume
it had something to do with the Civil War because.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Of the year the Battle of bull Run, and it
did the first major battle the Civil War.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
They said about fifty thousand men fought each other for
ten hours while the rich folk dressed in their finest
at the time. I guess they brought their lawn chairs
out and had a picnic on the hillside to watch
the battle.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
They didn't understand that you were going to be witnessing
blood and guts. They thought it was going to be
like watching a tennis tournament. The Confederate forces.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Won that one by way.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
They won both the first and second Battles of bull Run,
also known as the first and Second massonas.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Clothing bullers, they could kick some butt right.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
And the first Battle of bull Run was fun on
July twenty first, eighteen sixty one, significant early victory for
the Confederacy, and I had to.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Show you don't don't start celebrating the victory too soon. Yeah,
then what happened, Well, it's kind of like one of
the UFC fights we watched a lot of times. You
won't be able to do your damage until the other
side gets tired. See, And so where they waited like
three or four years, the North did waited until everybody
was tired. They didn't get a lot of sleep at night,

(06:39):
they got cold, they didn't have no coats or sox
for their feet. Then they got hungry and couldn't find
no food, and then they were a little less eager
to put up a fight after that. On this day
in eighteen seventy three, there was a report of reigning
ants in Nancy, France. You always thought that was just
a clever kid's poem. No, well, that's the thing that

(07:00):
supposedly happened.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
It might sound fantastical, it's believed that such events involvs
insects are small animals, frogs we've heard of before, falling
from the sky. Actually rare meteorological phenomena that have been
reported throughout the history in various countries.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Phenomena, ma menomena, phenomena. Anyway.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
One common explanation is that strong winds like those found
in water spouts or updrafts associated with thunderstorms can pick
up insects from their habitat and carry them into the atmosphere.
And now you know, and there's nothing you'll ever do
with that information because it's pretty much worthless.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Then you can't stop it. But I mean the politicians
could if they wanted to, but they won't.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Here's a pro tip though, if you're ever on a
date and crickets start falling on you or answer whatever,
even though you might remember this radio segment and have
the answer. When your date asks you what's going on,
tell her you've upset God. There you go, yah, And
then she'll say what can I do to make him happy?
And this is your opportunity to tell her.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I think I know what I need. This will appease
the Lord, the God. You know, God thinks I'm a
little sexually frustrated. And anyway, you're thinking maybe she'd needed
to kneel at the altar.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
I think kneeling at the altar is the only thing
mister in worship.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, you got to the worship. Yeah, quickly, worship quickly.
Tang changes of the subject today, today, in nineteen eighty four,
nineteen oh four, excuse me, you might think this new
trans phenomenon is the latest in the world. I don't know,
gender confusion, but actually it's not.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
The first trans was the Trans Siberian Railway, completed on
this day in nineteen oh four, connecting Western Russia with
the Pacific. Today, in nineteen twenty five, John Scopes found
guilty of teaching evolution. He was fined one hundred dollars.
He never had the money to pay off the debt. Really,
that's a lot back then today. In nineteen forty four,
the Army and the Marines landed on Guam.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
They didn't tip it over, did they No? Thank god? Yes,
they balanced it out when they landed on different points
at the same time. Always thought this was cooled today.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
In nineteen seventy two, George Carlin was erected for arrested
for his act featuring the seven words you can't say
on TV, and he said them on stage. They still
arrested him. George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Larry Flint. You might
think these guys were degenerates, but if you're an advocate
for free speech, what they did was really important today.
In nineteen ninety six, the Daily Show premiered with host

(09:19):
Craig Kilbourn. It was a very different show back then.
It wasn't political at all. It was a different world
too today. In two thousand and seven, the final Harry
Potter book was published. I've never read one book, I've
never seen one movie. I know that's not an accomplishment,
but I'm never going to. I saw that first movie.
I didn't see the rest of them. Was that to
you today? In twenty eleven, space Shuttle Atlantis lands for

(09:40):
the last time. It ended the US Space Shuttle program.
Rest in pieces to Space Shuttle Atlantis. Oh god, yeah, anyway,
and that's all the stuff that happened on this day
in history, all right, everybody, I know that.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
You know? Then I know what comes next in the show?
We know? Yeah, I know. Sure.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Katie Carry's awful year continues as her massive flying stage
prop failed. This was quite an embarrassment.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Was this the stage prop that was going to take
her back to space?

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Katie suffered as scare when she nearly fell off a
flying prop at her concert on Friday night?

Speaker 1 (10:17):
And I see beiance went through something like that. They
didn't slow her down, did it?

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Maybe hanging from giant ornaments in the sky isn't the
best idea when people does it make you.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
A better singer?

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Okay, So it turns out you're here for a music performance,
but no one's really playing any music. It's pump music.
Do you actually think there's musicians up there? I mean,
even if there are, they're just playing her along to
a pre recorded track. Katie is forty now. She was
performing her hit roar, We're not going to play it No.
She flew above the crowd in San Francisco on a
giant butterfly machine. Suddenly the prop malfunction. She told her

(10:51):
audience at the moment, sing it now, sing it, and
held her mic before the butterfly suddenly dropped, making her
slightly lose her balance. Oh dear, it was worse than
it sounds. For the record, the crowd could be heard
in the video of the missing Yeah, I think we
have a recording of it. You want to hear it?
Here we go the band in the background, singers continued.

(11:13):
Katie recovered after a few seconds. Here's what it sounded like.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
My goodness, that was A guy asked, Wow, that sounded terrible.
Nothing like the stampede that broke out of the concert.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
That that sounded horrible. And the prop malfunction was pretty
bad too, right, thank you?

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Unhinged, unhinged, unhinged, hinge, unhinged. This is the Walton and
Johnson Show.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
I was going to talk about how all the grunge
ACKs kind of the same thing, but you know, Eleanis
Morris att wasn't that fire aid thing, and.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
I wish I think she stole the money. I don't know.
I doubt it.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
I had a whole ramp prepared right now where I
was going to crap on nineties rock bands. But after
when I just witnessed in the back parking lot over here,
I don't think I'm ever going to be the same again.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, this is a suspicious behavior. I think somebody ought
to call the cops these, let them know what's going on.
I don't know if they're gonna do anything about it
or not. What's happening in the parking lot during commercial break.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
There's a lot of shuffling around here at the radio station,
getting coffee and printing things out, looking up news stories
we want to talk about. But from the window of
our studio here looking down at the parking lot, I
don't think.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
I don't think. I believe my eyes never seen nothing
like it.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
You know, those what are they called way moos? The
cars they driverless cars. Yeah, they're a self autonomous vehicles.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
Als. Yes, there's five or six of them in the
parking lot out there. They're huddled up like a gang.
There's not one human being in sight all these cars.
They just kind of just the cars. They all got
together for something. There's no people over there.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's just a bunch of way mos and they're kind
of shuffling around the way we do when we're getting
ready for a meeting, or if you.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Call the police. Police get up here. They start, they like,
pull a gun on on somebody's way more cars and
tell them to break it up. Well, what are you
gonna do?

Speaker 3 (13:16):
What you do?

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Robots have rights? What are your cars up to over there?
I mean move alone?

Speaker 2 (13:24):
As human beings, we have a right to gather in
First Amendment rights, we can assemble. They say, but what
about autonomous vehicles? I mean, that's a robot. Can they
do it?

Speaker 1 (13:32):
I'm a little worried about the fact that they're having
these secret meetings. They're just out there. Know who they're
talking about? Are they talking about us? What are they
gonna do? We don't know. That's the tricky part. Can
we send a fake autonomous car in so we could
ease drop, you know.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
A whistleblower? Maybe you know, maybe I could. We'd need
a whistle blower. Maybe I could go undercover. I had
a horn, honker. We need somebody with a really good
Halloween costume. But then if they realize you're a human being,
are they gonna drive over you?

Speaker 1 (13:58):
I would imagine. So, yeah, I've never witnessed anything like
car settle down. Now, we'll keep an eye on them.
In the meantime, we weren't done with concert news because
a stampede broke out this weekend at the Atlanta train station.
Fans were leaving the Beyonce concert. Somebody screamed, started a stampede.

(14:22):
Next thing you know, eleven people were injured. Seven had
to be transported to the hospital. Turns out they finally
got to the bottom of this. Somebody, I'm guessing a
woman saw a bug. Wait what somebody saw a bug
and it caused everybody to stampede. Then somebody screamed. The

(14:46):
screaming caused other people to scream and start running, and well,
human beings, you've heard how we are. Yeah, it caused
eleven people to get injured.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
That's the second controversy Beyonce concert this summer exactly.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
No word on the type of bug that calls the scene. Wow,
how embarrassing, you know, being a Beyonce fan leaving the concert.
It's the same joke I told in the last segment.
It still works. Here, still works.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Are you all familiar with the term a white shoe firm.
It's kind of an antiquated term to describe an elite
law firm.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
White shoe firm. Oh okay, that sound elite now, does it?
I didn't. White shoes is not really the way to go.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Well, back in the day, if you were wearing white
shoes and you were a lawyer, it was like wow,
well yeah, a long time ago.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
White shoes meant you were rich because you your feet
didn't have to actually touch the dirty pavement. You walked
right out of the building into your car, r out
of the car into your office, so you could wear
something that wouldn't get dirty.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
A twisted big law summer intern was reportedly tossed from
an elite Manhattan law firm after repeatedly bearing the tooth,
according to The New York Post, the whole tooth and
nothing but the tooth from how high up?

Speaker 1 (16:03):
I'm sorry what you said? They tossed him out of
the law firm? Was it like fifteenth four? Uh? How
high up?

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Well, first of all, I think it was her, And
second of all, they mean fired billy, They don't actually
mean literally toss they mean figuratively.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
It's bad reporting. And ain't it a summer You know
how the New York Post talks. There's a lot of
weird language here. But a summer associate at the White
Shoe law firm Sidley Austin began biting colleagues and roaring
at them, okay on her first day, and by the
time she was canned, her body count had reached double digits.
That's what happens when you let the kids in school

(16:37):
pretend that they're a cat or something and you put
a litter box in the corner for him. We started
doing it long time ago. It sounds like it. The
bites were not in an aggressive manner. They were.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
They were a faux quirky, manic pixie dream girl crossed
with the Donner party vibe. According to the report here,
she was being cute and she was going around pretending
in nibble on everybody, and finally they told her, you're
gonna have to leave.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
You can't do that here.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
It's unclear why so many people let this go before
reporting the big law bier, But the rumor is she's
otherwise personable and that she was Some thought that it
was going to help elevate her status in the firm.
She was doing it to be cute and silly, and
everybody just thought it was weird. The jaw dropping account
of the chomping spree posted to social media said the

(17:25):
girl sank her teeth into ten colleagues, including other summer interns,
as well as associates and an hr REP. I gotta
think the hr rep was probably the last one to
be bit Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
I think that's when it really mattered.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
They brought her in to see the hr rap and
she was like, it's cute. I do it to everyone.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
What did you? You're done? Did you know? Barack and
Big Mike famously met at Sideley Austin's headquarters in Chicago
in nineteen eighty eight. I thought they met on that
bridge on the march Selma, Hi, now that you mentioned it,
they're confusing.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
There's a place in Chicago, the side on the sidewalk
where they claim this is where they met, by the
University of Chicago.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
How many origin stories do they have? They met over
and over and over again.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Based on whatever was convenient at the time. Anyway, white
shoe firm don't become a member of one, or do
unless you want to get bit, you know, that's up
to you.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Let's see.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
EA Sports has put the Trump victory dance in one
of their sports video games. They put the YMCA Trump
Dance in College Football twenty twenty six. It's just as
cool as you think, Caro. I'll put it up on
the screen here so everybody in the studio can react
to it, even though the listeners can't see. Yeah, we're
watching footage from the video game and he's doing the

(18:41):
Trump dance.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Number four. Yeah. They don't identify him with a team
logo or anything. They're just fours, number four for Penn State. Two.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Would that be I don't know, not a Penn State
that is, that's what it says. That's a Penn State dollar.
They don't have that logo on there. That's their thing.
Who is number four for Penn State this season? The
answer to that question is, technically, that would be Tizier Denmark. Oh,
Tizier Denmark. That's great news that that's what a fault?

(19:10):
Yeah yeah, right, anyway, Well that's cool. That's a reason
to play the video game. I know I just gave
them a free ad for the game, but I still
think it's cool.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I don't care. I don't regret doing. You probably wouldn't
have sold any if we hadn't mentioned it. And now
it's probably going to just go blockbusters. Remember what Elon
mus gang Busters? Blockbusters is the way you don't want
your business to go. Sure, okay, gangbuster, good blockbuster, not some.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
I found this all the clip where Elon Musk was
warning everybody about artificial intelligence? Is this from back before
he owned a company.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
You'd be very careful about artificial intelligence.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
If I would guess at what our biggest existential threat is,
it's probably that climate change, right, So we need to
be very careful with the official intigence. I'm increasingly inclined
to think that there should be some regulatory oversight at
the maybe at the national and international level.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Isn't he now against regulatory oversight?

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Wasn't that what he was mad about in this new
spending bell He wanted a regulation that said no regulations.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Boy just can't pick aside. Huh. He loved Trump now
not so much. He loves regulation. I don't he come
home mount pick aside and stick with her?

Speaker 2 (20:22):
He said Trump was in the Epstein files. Then he
said Steve Bannon was in the Epstein Files. But at
the end of the day, I got to think the
real reason Elon and Steve don't get along is they
are two members of MAGA with very different opinions about immigration.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Well, so I don't think Steve MAGA would have been
invited to any of that stuff. Fannin, Yeah, Bannon, yeah,
I don't think that you've seen him, right? Would you
invite him to your island? Oh? I would not. Well,
I don't know they invited Stephen Hawking. I mean, well, yeah,
but they can wheel him around and keep him out
of place. It's not like he's gonna wander off into
the middle of the night and surprise somebody by going

(20:57):
in the wrong room.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
You know, as far as being a victim of sexual
assault goes, of all the people to have to explain
who you got sexually assaulted by the one person, no
one would ever believe the guy in the wheelchair.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think guys Number one fan, great job playing that
eight second SoundBite. Now I'm officially an informed voter. Gotta
run Number one fan. Wolton and Johnson