The Nicole Contreras Interview.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 4 (00:47):
Hey, Hey, Hey, what is going on? Guys? Welcome to
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I am your host, Dinian. I do have to say
that this particular episode is pre recorded and I can't
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guys who subscribe to the show, you'll be the first

(01:10):
to know and I always appreciate that. So yeah, we
have a very special guest for you guys who definitely
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of fact, let everybody know once this episode airs to
share it with your family, with your friends, share it everywhere,
because sharing is caring. Right course, of course, before we

(01:30):
bring our guests on, I do want to say, you
know this one right here? How can I say? It's
built for emotion? You know it's built for pauses, It's
built for presence. Don't lose sight. This is the frequency
of the fearless. There are conversations that fill the room,

(01:54):
and then there are conversations that empty it, strip it
down to what's real, what's raw, what's been sitting unspoken
for far too long? Because silence, silence isn't necessarily always empty.
It's full of everything. We didn't say everything, we didn't

(02:14):
process everything, we've tried to move past without ever really
facing it. And tonight's guests she stepped into that space,
not to avoid it, not to dress it up, but
to listen to Because poetry, when it's real, doesn't just rhyme.

(02:36):
It reveals, It confronts, it heals, It reminds you of
parts of yourself you thought you buried. So tonight we
are not just talking about a book. We're stepping into
the space in between your silence. You're not just here
for a talk show. And this isn't just radio, this
is revival for your mind, body, and spirit. This Vigilantes

(03:01):
Radio Live. My name is Coach Denny and change is possible.
Are you ready?

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You're listening to the Vigilanes podcast on iHeartRadio on mo
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Speaker 3 (03:38):
Are you ready? Are you ready?

Speaker 6 (03:44):
Are you ready?

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Well, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Let's
go again. Guys, you're listening to VRL. That is Vigilantes
Radio Live right here on iHeartRadio, and I am your host, Gani.
Our interviews are designed to go beyond music, news, books, art, acting, films, technology, education, entrepreneurship, entertainment, spirituality,

(04:21):
and sometimes even past that thing that we call the ego.
Our interviews are designed to go behind the scenes into
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who are out there giving it. They're all for me,
for you, and for the world. Tonight's episode is sponsored
by Noah Gui hvac dot pom. Check that out. Check

(04:41):
that out well, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight's guest is a
poet who isn't afraid to explore the quiet spaces most
people avoid. She's not just a poet, she wear mini hats.
Actually quite talented, so we'll drop the link to her
social media in the description of this episode so you

(05:02):
can check out her awesomeness as well. Through her collection
The Space and Between Your Silence, she invites readers to
sit with the emotion, reflect deeply, and find meaning and
what's often left unsaid. Her work captures vulnerability, introspection, and
the power of expression in its purest form, offering a

(05:24):
voice to thoughts mini struggle to articulate. So please join
me in saying welcome friend to the Cold contrete us Cole,
Welcome to our show. I'm glad that you were able
to join us tonight, and it's such a huge honor
to have you here and to talk about all things
the Cold and this new book that you are producing.

Speaker 7 (05:51):
Yes, thank you, it's my pleasure.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
Absolutely, So before we kick things off, Nicole, what's been
on your heart and mind? You know what's been sitting
with you lately, and your thoughts and your emotions are
even in your silence.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
You know, silent is a great space to rediscover yourself
and to face those things that you don't want to
confess to your own self, to admit your shadows. So
what has been lately to myself with myself is a
journal to the center, to the vulnerabilities, to the fear,
to the conflicting emotions, and to be able to find

(06:36):
all the love, all the peace, and all the harmony
and balance within you. So lately life has been life
in and I just have been part of the trip. Mmm.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
I love that. I love that I've had a chance
to check out your TikTok. Stalking it well, no, that's
a bad word. Searching researching, that's a better word. That
is a better word.

Speaker 7 (07:07):
The problem is the stocking, say stocking.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
Give it a chance, all right, We'll give it a chance. Okay, Yes,
stalking become slowly becoming a fan of your many talents dancing,
you know, and it seems not only are you exploring
your own self, but you're bringing people along with you
that may be lost on their journey. So I really

(07:31):
appreciate that aspect that you're doing on TikTok. Really wonderful work.
I know your book is not out yet, or at
least I couldn't find it, So are you still working
on it?

Speaker 7 (07:45):
I actually publicated two days ago. Really yeah, the online version.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
I'm still working in the paperback because you told me
to put a little bit more information about the edition.
Is a bilingual book, so it's in two languages, so
people can Actually I write some poems in Spanish, some
of them are English, and I feel and think in
different ways, so it's like your heart and your brain

(08:12):
is divided depending on the language, and even the way
you deliver things is quite different.

Speaker 7 (08:18):
So the book is bilingual, and I also have some.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Music allexation of the poetry just in case one gets
a little bit, you know why of reading it. We
also have some version of it with some music going
on that I will so impost on my YouTube some
of it on TikTok.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
Because you love music and you love dancing, that's what
stalking you know revealed. What's your favorite style?

Speaker 7 (08:51):
My favorite dancing style? M H freestyle. I feel like
dancing is like poetry.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
You close your eye and you let yourself go and
whatever happens is what's supposed to be happened. Dancing, although
it could be very well orchestraz, is about expressing yourself.

Speaker 7 (09:09):
It's about living the moment.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
It's about experience the connection that you have with your
body and most likely be in tune with your soul.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, do you break out and dance at any given moment?

Speaker 7 (09:23):
Do I break down and dance all the time? Every day?

Speaker 1 (09:26):
If I'm happy, I dance. If I'm sad, I'm danced.
If i am going through something, I dance. If I'm bored,
I dance. If I'm tired, I'm dancing. If you see
me in the gym, I am always dancing.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
It's interesting what draws you into dancing.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
I need a way to express myself and my body.
I'm too much in my head, So the best way
to be out of your head is.

Speaker 7 (09:54):
Into your body.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's a mindful of meditation is a dynamic kind of meditation.
So for people cannot sit still, don't.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
Yeah, you said even when you're sad, when you're feeling blue,
that you're able to dance.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
How so well, dancing is an expression. By dancing, you
can release those emotions. Haven't you heard people when they
get really sad, they get all these very sad songs
and they listen to them. Some people actually have alcohol
while they do it, and then in some way you
feel like all these emotions are kind of expressed and

(10:32):
condensing that moment and you feel.

Speaker 7 (10:33):
Like you're released.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
Mm.

Speaker 7 (10:36):
Same thing dancing.

Speaker 4 (10:38):
Yeah. One of my motto was don't drake and drive.

Speaker 7 (10:45):
I think that's very important to not do that.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
Yeah, you may end up at an ex house.

Speaker 7 (10:56):
How did that go?

Speaker 4 (10:57):
Yeah? Or I've never tried it.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but if there an X has to
be a reason.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah, you have to learn the lesson Nicole sometimes, well,
or you write a book. Oh you write a book? Yeah,
a book. Yeah, life is a movie definitely. So as

(11:30):
I said, I couldn't find a book search and search,
so I don't know, maybe it's just my browser, but
I definitely couldn't find it. I would love to find it.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, I have to continue in that adventure to find
that book because that cannot be.

Speaker 7 (11:46):
A thing that's happening.

Speaker 4 (11:48):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
And I'm even trying to Yeah, that's totally something that
that has to be worked upon.

Speaker 4 (11:56):
Yeah. I try to your name along with the book.
It still no results.

Speaker 7 (12:06):
It seems like it's given some problems with that.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
I guess I'm gonna have to contact i amaz Off
with it because it should be in the market and
I have a link.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Yeah, all right, I'll definitely get that link from you,
so I could put in a description of this episode
so our listeners can get that book easy. All right.
So when someone closes this book and just sits there
for a moment, what do you hope is happening inside them.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
When they close the book and they wait for a moment. Well,
my book is rich of imagery, as poets are. So
I will like them to have a journal and see
a journal a journey into themselves and see if they
can connect with some of the emotions and actually there
to see.

Speaker 7 (12:59):
Themselves, there to.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Fit in the uncomfortable sensations, there to embrace yourself, There
to be with your shadows and integrate them, and there
to accept and understand that you are perfectly imperfect in
every way and that you're.

Speaker 7 (13:16):
Just fine as you are. Just to be able to
really accept all.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Those things you love about yourself, and all those things
that you hate about yourself to accept them and to
see what are those things that you don't like about
yourself that makes that could have.

Speaker 7 (13:31):
A value for your life for those society.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
All those things that you might not like about yourself
is actually a building block.

Speaker 7 (13:39):
For something else.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
So for example, if you're a person who's who could
be let's say, a bully, right, that's a you know,
it's a terrible condition that no one wants, but you
can actually use that same energy to protect other people
because sometimes we need that strongness. So to be able
to understand see those pieces, see it with compassion in them,

(14:00):
to really love yourself.

Speaker 7 (14:02):
It's a great thing.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Because they talk about a lot about self love a lot,
but it's very difficult to love those negative aspects that
you have about yourself until you actually go through them,
accept them and see the beauty that it has. The
lotos flowers comes from the darkest place, and we always
have the way to become better and more brilliant by
accepting our shadow.

Speaker 7 (14:24):
So I would like people to be able to.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
See themselfs accept them and understand that they are perfectly imperfect,
and that is magtivity.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yes, definitely what was happening on the inside of you
as you type the last word or wrote the last
word of this book.

Speaker 7 (14:45):
Well, it was.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
At a journey because I started this book. It's caught
in the space in between your silence because I had
a relationship that was very intermitted. It was something that
will come and go and I didn't have I didn't
know anything.

Speaker 7 (15:01):
I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Why were you very into me in a moment and
then not and then disappear and then silence.

Speaker 7 (15:10):
And through this.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Experience of ten months, I had to sit with all
these emotions and drive them to me. So at the
end of the book, there is one point that's called
selfish and it is a poem of regaining your power
of yourself and to understand that life has to serve.

Speaker 7 (15:41):
For you to be able.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
To find yourself and be okay in losing happiness and
balance and putting yourself as a priority always.

Speaker 7 (15:55):
So it's about self love.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
At the end, does you feel like in the journey
I would like people to be able to accept all
those things and just be able to.

Speaker 7 (16:08):
Self love. It's about self love.

Speaker 4 (16:13):
Is that your version of true love is to focus
on self?

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Is that my version of true love to focus on self.
A reality, true love is in yourself. When you love
someone who experiencing the love is you, you're just projecting.

Speaker 7 (16:39):
It onto others. But that love isn't within you.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
But sometimes we get confused because since the sensation is external,
we don't understand that it's really and each other. And
then we think that we are separated from other people,
but in reality, we're just one. So sometimes in the
process of falling in love and in being in love,

(17:04):
we forget that this love is generated by us. So,
for example, let's say I love him this man is.
I think he's brave, and he's intelligent, and he is determined,
and he is wise, and he is strong and determined
and ambitious and passionate and integrated and all these beautiful qualities.

Speaker 7 (17:28):
And so now I'm feeling all these beautiful sensations in
there in my head and my body everything.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
I am in crazyable this man, this man is everything.
But in reality, who's feeling all those emotions is me.
That love isn't me. Now, if you can take all
this love that you feel to us another one, and
take all this beautiful energy, all.

Speaker 7 (17:48):
This happiness, all this.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
Harmony, all this beautiful energy and just give it to
yourself and understand that that love was always with you.
You're never going to be confused and suffer for anything
else because you are the one who creates this love
or symponize with this love.

Speaker 7 (18:08):
So I feel I will like for people.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
To understand that true love isn't you you just projected
to others.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
Yeah, I totally agree with that, the projection of love
that's given. I also think there is another important aspect
to that, you know, and that is the love received
from our own experience. It's kind of been like one

(18:38):
sided sometimes you know the balance is.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Off, but the whole thing is that, like you can
this is the thing, and you are right that we
desire things to be reciprocal, right, But is that something
you kind of Is that something that is doable? Sometimes
it is, sometimes it's not, but you cannot be depending
on if someone is going to give you exactly what

(19:05):
you gave to them, because it might be that you
are a generous spirit, which I feel you are. Just
taking consideration the way you handle this interview, the way
you connect with people. You're insight So I know you
are a very intelligent man, and I know you're very
insightful and most likely you're a very generous person with
a big heart, wants to give everyone opportunity, and this
is part of your dream.

Speaker 7 (19:25):
This is why you do what you do.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
What happened that If you're a giver and then you
don't receive, you feel this balance. That's totally normal. But
you cannot make someone receive it. You cannot make someone
give it back to you. But you are able to
experience in that, live with that. And yeah, you're able

(19:50):
to experience that, live with that, and.

Speaker 4 (19:58):
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate your kind words. And sometimes it
breaks my big heart, but you're right, You're absolutely right.
So let's talk about the beginning, the very beginning. I'm

(20:19):
sure since you're promoting the book, you'll probably get this
question a lot. Why did you feel inspired to write
a book? You know? But beyond that, go beyond that,
go beyond that idea. When did you feel like you

(20:41):
could share yourself in any form of media with the world.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
When did I feel I was supposed to show myself
in any form of media?

Speaker 4 (20:51):
Yes?

Speaker 7 (20:59):
When then I feel.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
I'm supposed to share myself in any form of media?

Speaker 7 (21:04):
Well, I've been trying to be Yes, I got tracked.

(21:26):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (21:29):
Hey, life happens.

Speaker 7 (21:30):
Yeah, don't worry about that. Okay. So we're people, and
I know we're going to be people. So what was
your question?

Speaker 4 (21:41):
Yeah, when did you decide to share yourself with the
world or that it was time to share yourself with
the world in any form of media.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
You know, that's a very very powerful question. During a
lot of time, I have been writing. I am a
writer since I've been in groups since I was nineteen
years old.

Speaker 7 (22:03):
I have my friends or.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Writers, a lot of my colleagues or painter or writers
or musicians, and the way, I'm always surrounded by these
very sensitive human beings. And everyone always told me to
write something because I've been having these poems and different
poems during the time, and I decided that it was

(22:26):
a sign it's time to express yourself. It's time to
be open, it's time to not be afraid of different
kinds of circumstances.

Speaker 7 (22:35):
It's time to put yourself out there.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
And you know, to there, to be vulnerable, to there,
to have your heart exposed to their, to to show
your face to there.

Speaker 7 (22:46):
To be raw.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
It's rare, and I feel that we need to learn
how to be raw. We need to learn how to
be vulnerable, and we need to be able to expose
our heart out there even if it gets broken.

Speaker 7 (22:58):
Because no one can love a rock, okay.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
And if we don't show other people that we are
humans and start acting like humans and stop, you know,
hiding between masks and mareas and protection and security and
safety and all of these beautiful niceness and different kind
of prodigal an etiquette, we're never going to be authentic self.
And I feel we should be authentic self every time.

(23:24):
So if you're terrible, if you're desperate, if you're weird,
if you're a stopper, if you are completely out of
this world, be that because that's you. And in that
journey you can find yourself, you can find a balance.
But if you're always showing and masking who you.

Speaker 7 (23:42):
Are, who are really you? Who are you really? I
feel that the reason why this is important.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Is that for people to really accept accept people, they
first have to accept themselves as they are. And I
feel society in the world should try a little bit
harder to stop putting all these project in, all these
massc era.

Speaker 7 (24:12):
All of these.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Personality mask and the society and just be themselves and
I feel that's an important message to give to everyone.
No mask but really not like something that people say
and then they hide. No, just be raw, be yourself,

(24:35):
be there, radical self love.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
Yeah, I hope we can get there as a people.

Speaker 7 (24:47):
I feel we can.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Because you know what, we're beautiful, we're great, we're wonderful,
and all those dark parts it makes us, you.

Speaker 7 (24:56):
Know, our life heart like.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
We are great as humanity, we are great people, we
are magnificent.

Speaker 7 (25:04):
And to be able to accept those areas.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
And just love it, it's great. I think we just we
live in a life that we want to project perfection
and then we want to show other people that you know,
we're nice and we're calm and we're collected, and sometimes
you are sometimes you're not, and that's okay. It's okay
to be like. We should all be like that. Let's

(25:29):
be who we are and in that way people can
really love you and accept you because you.

Speaker 7 (25:34):
Love in yourself yourself. Be who you are because.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
You are great as you are, you are perfect as
you are, you are magnificent. There you are, We're great
as we are. Let's just be yourself but for real.

Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yeah, uh, maybe a scary thing for song.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
It's scary, but you like it's a scary thing. You're right,
But you know what, what kind.

Speaker 7 (26:01):
Of life are you living if you're living behind fear?
M hm, And you know what.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Is the biggest enemy of love?

Speaker 4 (26:12):
What is the biggest enemy of love?

Speaker 7 (26:14):
Fear m.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
It's not rejection, and it's not hate, it's fear because
for fear is that people do not reconstantly.

Speaker 7 (26:24):
For fear is people that they don't talk to you.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh, I don't talk to you because I fear that
you're going to hurt me, or I fear you're going
to reject me, or I fear that I'm not good enough,
or I fear. So fear is the one that creates
the burrier, and fear puts you in a state of insecurity.
But love integrates, Love heals, love bring everything together. Love

(26:48):
is the force that integrates everything and is the basis
of life. So for you to truly, truly, truly, not fear,
that's the only way to go through it is love
and love is something new symponize. You don't generate it
because we all are in love. That's what we are,
that's our nature. Sometimes we just forget that we're loved.

Speaker 7 (27:11):
And that, and and and we we.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Because of our projection, things are happening and we look outside,
but in reality we are the love.

Speaker 4 (27:22):
When did you take your mask off?

Speaker 1 (27:25):
I have tried to live my entire life without a mask.
Oh nice, I don't take it off because I don't
wear it. I am who I am?

Speaker 4 (27:37):
Okay, better question, when did you awaken?

Speaker 1 (27:46):
I feel like awakening is a process that we do
every day and each time, in each moment. I don't
think there is a moment that you do. I think
there's moments that you currently have all the time, and.

Speaker 7 (28:03):
That is the reason why.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
And the space in between your silence you can find
your because in those moments where life hits you that
you have to sit with yourself, in those silence where
you find yourself, and that is the space in between
your silence. And this is the way you can integrate
and heal yourself by accepting it, by loving yourself, and

(28:32):
by understanding how beautiful and magnificent creature are, and that
everything it is worth and that the center God and
love isn't you? So we always find yourself in all
these moments of life.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
Yeah, I love it. Did you change at the writing
this book? Yes, absolutely, what changed about you?

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (29:06):
So I started this book because I felt hurt because
of the I a relationship that I had, that this
person will.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Come in my life and offer me all this beauty,
all this joy of this fulfillment and then leave without
an explanation and do this. And every time this person
did this, but he was not the greater of this,
he was just you know this part of it. I
felt abandoned, and I felt sad, and I felt terrible,
and I felt worthless. I felt horrible. But each time

(29:44):
that happened, I sat down and I wrote to put
those pieces together, to see myself, to explore that myself.
And in that journey of those things happening, I would say,
will to find myself.

Speaker 7 (30:02):
I was able to connect with love.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
I was able to see the beauty of life, and
I was able to see how this beautiful, magnificent, wonderful
man show me the way to the most fulfilling love
that could exist that is within me.

Speaker 7 (30:18):
So for that I am eternally grateful.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Thank you God, thank you, and think and think that
man too, God bless him.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
Oh yeah, so interesting you Thank God. You know.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
A lot of time, whatever divine intelligence, the manifestation of love, compassion,
name it as you want, the energy that creates and
that sustain us as people who are happy in heal.

Speaker 7 (30:53):
That's that's that's it.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
Yeah. Yeah, what I was saying is that sometimes the trials,
the tr relations to pain, it's for us to not
stay in a dungeon of darkness and despair, but to
rise out of that become something different, something stronger. And

(31:18):
I was going to ask you where you still hurt,
but the way you described how you're progressing through it,
it seems like your heart didn't callous any you know,
it didn't become hard and it didn't become stone, but
it actually beat harder, you know, thinking the moment of

(31:43):
the emotions you went through through through this process, not
many come out on the under side feeling thankful. Not
many come out of the other side of the storm
feeling like, you know, why did this happen to me?
I'm better than that? Or this is not supposed to
happen at this stage of life, or you know, just

(32:06):
so many wise but not having the answers to that why. Yeah.
So wow, it's pretty insightful.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Well, when those things happen, it's because you still haven't
connected with the phont of love, which is in me yourself,
until you connect with love to truly love within yourself.

Speaker 7 (32:29):
Right, you're going to see that because like let's say,
I feel all.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
These negative emotions for whoever, Right, I am the one
who's feeling that.

Speaker 7 (32:40):
That's in me.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
That's not making me happy. So you forgive for yourself,
and you also have to understand that the other person
is suffering and that's why they make other people suffer
because misery likes companies, right, and you get who you are.

Speaker 7 (32:59):
Right, this is what you do.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
So in those moments that these things are happening, this
is what you have to do. So let's say you
are missing a person and you're you know, you're suffering
because you miss this person. You want to be on
this person, this person is everything for you or this
is like you know that meal after you traveled the desert,

(33:22):
like Jesus didn't eat for forty days and he said,
I am hungry. I'm starving and I need to eat, right,
I want to eat. You're hungry.

Speaker 7 (33:34):
So in that moment that you're feeling this hunger.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Let's say you need affection, you need love, you need
a validation you need a respect. Right, You're supposed to
connect with a moment that brought you pure happiness. So
you're going to bring that moment that brought you happiness.
It could be with that person. So you're going to
take this person and in that moment, you're going to
imagine that you are that person, and you're going to

(34:00):
transmit all the love or receive all the love that
you have with this other person. And you're going to
live in this love and you're going to feel this
love in your body. You're going to feel it in everything,
and that is going to transform you because you connected
with love. And after this you can, you know, deserve
this person's peace or happiness or whatever. But what you
want from this person is love, which want from this

(34:22):
person's respect, which you want from this person's whatever. When
you're meditating, when you're feeling that, that is real because
the mind doesn't distinguish what is outside and what is inside.
That's why everything is inside you. So when you're able
to connect with this person, to observe with this person,
to experience that you already got what you needed, You

(34:43):
already got everything you needed, how you need it and
the way you wanted it. And that is the most
healing experience and that comes within you. You connected with the
love that that love was always in you, and then
you use this love to feed yourself. But every time
you talk good about someone, you're the one who's receiving
that wellness. If you go around and say that person

(35:06):
is beautiful, and you're going to remember all those good
qualities of this person, you're going to say, oh, this
woman is as intelligent, she is sensitive, she's a great lover,
she's in tumbe with my emotions. She smells like an angel.
Oh my god, this woman is blowing my mind. When
you were seeing that. When you experience that, you're being happy.

(35:30):
So just to be able to see this person, connect
this person, express which one expressed with this person, and
live this emotion is going to be highly healing. And
when you start desiring the great to this person.

Speaker 7 (35:42):
I hope you're.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
Happy, I hope you're well, I hope you ate well.

Speaker 7 (35:47):
I hope everything good. You're the one who experiencing that,
and that is healing for you.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
So the best way to be selfless is to be selfish.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 7 (36:02):
The coal last one is SELFI.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, I watched the coal I'm going to receive a
bunch of emails saying that you make it sound so
easy to just let it go. And uh, you ever
watched the show Hoarders. Oh yeah, yeah, So I watched
this show Hoarders, not because I'm fascinated with horring, but

(36:30):
because there's a correlation between how we as humans are
keeper of themes. We hoard emotional baggage, spiritual baggage, physical baggage,
mental baggage, and we keep these things. Oh, this is
my trauma. This is what makes me me. I'm holding
on to this hurt and this pain so that I

(36:50):
don't face it again. I don't have to fight this
dragon over again. And to me, that's just avoiding the dragon.
The dragon is still there and correlate orders to we
as humans hoarding our trauma. And I'm going to receive

(37:11):
emails about this. That is not easy to just let
go of this stuff. And even one point in my life, Nicole,
I felt like my soul was worn down and beaten up,
and I was praying for a new one. I need
a new soul, God, mind.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Worn down And well, I do agree with what you
say about the wore You think because I go through that,
but what I'm saying really works. So it is actually
as you practice, because you know, anything that has to
do with spiritual things is a practice. So in the Bible,
one it says you have to forgive your brother seven
times seven. I can forgive you now for something you did,

(37:52):
and then the layer of that is going to come
back and it's going to remind you of something else,
and then you have to take the time to forget
that one and then you have to take the other
time to forgive it and forgive and forgive. So it's
a journey that you do every day or every time
that is needed. But it's totally doable. And for you
see the hoarders. Do you know who's marry Her name

(38:16):
is Mariacondo. No, Okay, So she's a Japanese declutterer, right,
So what her philosophy is very is easy and she
has helped a lot of people who are orders and
they stop being orders.

Speaker 7 (38:32):
And this is her.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Philosophy, spark joy when horders, and this is sparked her.
So when hoarders go accumulating things, it means something for them,
which you're supposed to do, is you're supposed to let
them touch something and ask them to feel like does
this bring you joy or does it not? And a

(38:52):
lot of things they're going to let go because it
doesn't bring them joy, but they're going to stay with
those things that are special. And then they're going to
take whatever it is that they want and they're going
to put it by category. So everything goes this place,
like all your kitchens, touchintensil go this place, all your
makeup things go displace, all your whatever go displace, oh whatever,

(39:14):
and then you have your apartment based on category and
set up anything located.

Speaker 7 (39:19):
So what that's going to do.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
It gives you control because invading someone house and taking
all those things without you knowing what an incident is
not good. But letting them connect with it, letting them,
you know, treasure those things, letting them see the things
that really bring them joy, the things that they can eliminate,
have that power, that control, that gives them a connection
with their humanity, with their capacity, with their power. And

(39:43):
that's a healing process and that's the way you should
actually handled and it's very effective, it's very beautiful and
very healing. So relating that to trauma, right when they
show you how to connect with love and enjoy, You're
going to disengage connecting with these negative emotions because if

(40:06):
a habit, we go and we're like we connect with
for trauma, Oh, I was abandoned.

Speaker 7 (40:12):
In a mountain, which was true.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
I was abandoned in a mountain, and I was abandoned
when I was pregnant by my ex husband. And then
with the situation, I was abandoned several times and my
father threw me out of my house and I was
homeless too. I went through all of that things, right,
That's why I can actually write my second book or
third book that I want to write is going to

(40:34):
be called abandoned.

Speaker 7 (40:36):
Not because hahah. You can always.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Understand that these things drought you a very beautiful, powerful action.

Speaker 7 (40:50):
So if I was subscribed to that story.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Of abandonment and no one loves me and what is
wrong with me?

Speaker 7 (40:57):
And if I am not worth.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
It and data duda dada da da dada dada blah
blah blah, tell yourself right, you're going to suffer from
this story, but you connect with us because it's familiar.
So you have to retrain your nervous.

Speaker 7 (41:12):
System, your body, your everything.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
To be able to connect with those beautiful sensations, and
sometimes trauma is not in your head because you can
think things that are magnificent about yourself. Trauma a lot
of time is in your nervous system and in your body,
so you have to release it through your body. By
the way, I'm a massage therapist.

Speaker 4 (41:36):
I know.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
I'm a massage therapist, and I also am studying psychology
to specialize in somatic therapy.

Speaker 4 (41:46):
Released.

Speaker 7 (41:47):
Oh, there's a lot of our traumas in our body.

Speaker 4 (41:50):
You're going to be powerful.

Speaker 7 (41:51):
Wow, oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 4 (41:55):
Yes, absolutely, we have similar stories. Divorce, homelessness, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, but my homelessness was quite hippy though.
Oh yeah, how so, Well, when I was twenty three
twenty four years old, I was very into haiku and
there was this poet his name is LiPo, and this

(42:26):
man used to you know, he was an alcoholic, right,
but he had a romance with the moon. So he'll
go drinking around and like falling in love with the moon,
and hell will write the most beautiful thing about and
like it's for eight words like tonight the moon and eye,

(42:52):
the shadow, whine love something like that.

Speaker 7 (42:58):
Don't recall, but they were beautiful.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
And I met a man and we were together and
he said, and I had three jobs and it was
my first time having an apartment. And he said, I'm
going to go to the mountain and just be living
in the in the wild. And then I was twenty
three or twenty four year old. And then he told me,

(43:21):
if God sustained the birds and sustaining everything else, why
wouldn't he do it with us? And then I said,
and then he left, and he was going to leave,
and I saw in his eyes and he was a
crazy creature, and I said, you know it's I. I said,
if I don't do this now, I'm never going to
do it. So I left everything and when I with
this man to the middle of nowhere, became homeless because

(43:43):
I wanted to experience it. And I did and it
was great, and I was great.

Speaker 7 (43:49):
It was great, crazy, but great.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Then I came back and I went to college and
he was a lawyer and he finished being a professor
at the university.

Speaker 7 (43:59):
But it was an experience.

Speaker 4 (44:03):
Wow, How long did you guys stay out there?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Around four months and a lot of beautiful things happened.
This was in Theminican Republic, and this is a different country,
so we went and there was like this greenhouse that
people will actually work, right, and because you work.

Speaker 7 (44:25):
They will feed you right.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
And they had all kinds of animals, so you can
become a farmer.

Speaker 7 (44:31):
So we did that.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
And then after we were living with these people, because
you give your services, right, you live in nature. If
you have money, you give it to the community.

Speaker 7 (44:40):
If you don't, you don't.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
So it's very eco sustainable, so money wasn't needed. So
then after that we left to a beautiful house in
the middle of nowhere in the Medican Republic, on top
of a mountain. We had no electricity, but who cared.
We grew our own food. We lived in the river.
The river was in front of the house. So we
live in this place because someone else offered that as

(45:04):
a service. But we were just there taking care of that.
And then we finish going. Then he kind of, you know,
kind of wanted to go back to whatever it was
that he was doing. He was a lawyer, and then
we just decided to just go back and have a
normal life and.

Speaker 7 (45:19):
Just experience that.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
So what we wanted to prove is that God will
always have your back, doesn't matter what you do, doesn't
matter what you want. If you have faith, he will
always find o way and he did because for four
months money made no sense and everyone just it took us,
took us with love and gave us food and gave
us shelter and gave us everything, and we were just

(45:41):
living the life day by day. So when in the
prayer of it says God will give you the bread
of each day, he will just have faith and reopen.

Speaker 7 (45:54):
So that's what I want.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
And it was beautiful and crazy and I can't do
it anymore.

Speaker 7 (46:01):
It was great.

Speaker 4 (46:03):
It sounds incredible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, So this poetry book,
it can expose a lot. You know, was there anything
you hesitated to include?

Speaker 7 (46:21):
Absolutely nothing? M hm nothing? I am? Who I am?

Speaker 4 (46:31):
I like that? There in all? Okay. So when someone
reads your work, what do you want them to feel? First?
Is this more about you or about them?

Speaker 7 (46:50):
It's about whatever you want to say about it.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
It is about me. But we're all one. We all
go through the same experiences, we all suffer, we all
have wants, so we all have desires. We are we
are all one. So it is about me, but it
is about you and it's about everyone. So take it
as they feel it because whenever you make art in

(47:15):
the moment you put that outside. That's not yours anymore.
That's whatever whoever and any phone wants to interpret it or.

Speaker 7 (47:23):
Live on it.

Speaker 4 (47:27):
Absolutely all right, before we let you go, there is
freedom and expression. You've been expressing yourself this entire chat,
and I really appreciate that. It just adds a different
layer to your work and what you do on social media.

(47:54):
And it seems like you have no fear at all? Zero?
Or are you? Are you? You know you're very good
at hide in the fear, but we already know you
don't wear a mask, you don't pretend you are.

Speaker 7 (48:09):
Oh yeah, your subjection.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
I have fear of not being worthy. I have fear
of not being wanted. I have fear of not being desired,
all kinds of fear. But but whatever comes to fear
is loved.

Speaker 7 (48:26):
It's loved.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Literally, because after you feel loved, after you experience love,
your disappears. What do you want in life? I just
want to be loved and loved. I don't want anything else.
I don't care about anything else. I just want to

(48:47):
love and be loved absolutely anything. I don't care about
anything else. And after you have love, what do you
fear of you're going to die, Yaller and I at
the end of the day, I feel like that's the
most important thing.

Speaker 7 (49:09):
So I do have fear.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
But after you have love, your disappears. You just don't care.
I don't care. I just want to be loved and love.

Speaker 7 (49:21):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (49:26):
Nicole leaves us.

Speaker 7 (49:28):
I'm sorry, and everyone can you.

Speaker 4 (49:34):
Oh yeah, I believe that, all right? Nicole leave us
with this. For the person who is listening, who will
read your book, but also who avoids their own thoughts,
what's one reason they should finally sit in silence.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
When you avoid it, you really don't know what's happened.
So you're going to feel anxiety. You're going to feel sadness,
you're going to feel you're going to be desperate because
you're running from something that needs your attention. But after

(50:22):
you give yourself that attention, the running is unnecessary. You
are beautiful, free one is beautiful. Connect with the beauty
that is in you. Allow yourself to say, allow yourself
to discover yourself, allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to
be loved.

Speaker 7 (50:43):
You are worthy of love. Your nature is love. Love
is your true identity, a self to love and the
love of hearing.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
That's it. I feel like.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
The Bible always says that if you know love, you
know God. And the only thing you have to do
to really integrate the whole Gospel of Jesus is to
love others as you love yourself. Right, you have to

(51:19):
learn how to love yourself. So then you come love others.
And sometimes by loving others, you believe that that love
is projected to someone else, but that love is really new.
Connect with that love. That love is God. That is
the most filling force. So when you sit with yourself,
you set yourself and you love yourself. You take that love.

(51:42):
Just connect with the love. You don't have to create it,
you just have to connect it. So remember whenever you
were happy, whenever you felt love, whenever you feel respected,
whenever you feel honored. Just connect with that emotion. Stay
with that emotion. Breathe this emotion, feel this emotion, Be

(52:02):
in this emotion. And the more time you spend there,
the more you will heal, the better you will feel,
the greater you're going to be with yourself and others.
Just connect with us. Don't be afraid love. It's beautiful.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
I love it. I love it.

Speaker 7 (52:20):
Thank you, so much, Nicole, Well, thank you so much
for having me.

Speaker 4 (52:26):
Absolutely, and I do have some good news. My team
found the book on Amazon. They sent me the link,
so guys, I will definitely now I will have the
link in the description of this episode and in the
show notes so that you can get this in your
hands you need it. I mean, Nicole is so powerful

(52:49):
and she knows what she's feeling, she knows what she's
going through. I'm not saying that she understands her full journey.
All of we just don't as humans understand sometimes the
path that we end up on or the journey that
we have to take to become who is necessary for
us to be. But some conversations are alloud. But this one,

(53:11):
right here, this one lives in the quiet. So make
sure you tap in with Nicole Contravists and experience the
space in between your silence and tonight. Don't rush past
your thoughts, don't rush past anything you've been through. Sit
with them, listen to them. There might be something there
waiting for you, and if you haven't changed, don't worry

(53:34):
about that. Let God do his part and you do
yours by accepting his love first. Don't lose sight of
that and if I can, Nicole, can I read the
book overview? Oh?

Speaker 7 (53:47):
Yes, please?

Speaker 4 (53:48):
All right? So this book is written with soul. It
was born in a body where love trembles, where faith breaks,
where strength runs out. Each test is a breath, a crack,
a way to continue. This poem lives in two languages,

(54:09):
Spanish and English. Like the heart broken yet alive, love
in this book is transformative experience and identity, something you
and body. The shadow is present. This book is for
those who loved without armor, for those who held too much,

(54:29):
for those who learned that surrendering can also be a
way to exist if you enter, do it slowly. Oh
my gosh, Nicole, you're so good. Thank you.

Speaker 7 (54:44):
I appreciate that so much that let me it's myself.
Thank you. I appreciate that so much. Thank you, thank you,
thank you for having me for it.

Speaker 4 (54:52):
Indeed, So, where can our listeners connect you on the
internet and gather more information about you? Okay?

Speaker 7 (55:01):
So I currently you guys are I'm gonna put my TikTok.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
But my TikTok still doesn't have the audios of my points.
So I'm currently working on the YouTube channel and I'm
going to be posting the musicalization of my poems so
you can listen to them. So if to print, follow
me in my Instagram and also they can also follow
me on my TikTok. That is happening. So I'm going

(55:28):
to be posting more things. If you can share that
with them, that'll be great and I'll keep you guys
posted about this journey. I'm currently working on the YouTube
channel so then you can listen to the poems, and
making an audio version of the book too so people
can listen.

Speaker 4 (55:47):
To it nice. I am definitely an audiobook person.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
I have to musicalize some of them, which is great
because then it's like a song, right, and then you
can you can listen to it like a song, and
it's very beautiful because it takes you to different ways.
So I have some of them already made. I haven't
posted them then yet, but soon I will very soon.

(56:15):
Most likely wasn't this month to the other one. I'll
be dropping something every week.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
All right, All right, listeners, just in case you need
those links, I will have them in the description of
this episode and in the show notes like that. Keep
mentioning and yeah, leave your thoughts emails. We accept those. Yeah,
so let us know your thoughts and we appreciate you
so much Nicole for joining us tonight. It was truly

(56:45):
an honor. I learned something even an old dog like
myself who's been around, who's been around and has a
life movie.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
I am forty two, very baby, I'm thirty seven. I'm
going to be thirty April nineteen.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
Oh well, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Can We'll
connect and looking forward to more work and uh yeah,
I wish you a happy weekend and make sure you
live it up on your birthday. I know you will.

Speaker 7 (57:20):
Oh yeah, be sure about that. I'll be having fun.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Okay, big thanks to everyone, and thank you all for
listening to me and you for having me yours.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Absolutely take care and have a great night. Thank you, bye,
peace to all.

Speaker 6 (57:40):
My name is Deani and I am the host of
Vigilantes Radio Live. I think that we are beyond just
asking cool questions and getting cool responses. I think that
we are here as creatives to provide and example that

(58:00):
you can do things different outside of expectations. Because some
of us simply we're not born into the club, but
there is perhaps a door window or backgate that we
can leave a clue for you to get into. Life
is short, but there are plenty of moments to try

(58:24):
and get it right.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
Pursuing your dreams and learning.

Speaker 6 (58:28):
From mistakes may be tough, but regret it's tougher to
book your interview. Email us at v radio at only
one Media group dot com. That's a v as a
victorious or visit only one MediaGroup dot com.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
I'm counting on you, Heaven. We all are counting on
you to step into your purpose and your passion. You
are listening to Vigilantes Radio live on iHeartRadio, providing you
with an opportunity to dive deeper.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
You and now listening to vigil Lances Radio, the people's
choice for quality interviews, art, music and heart topics, hosted
by Demetrius Houtini Black Reynolds. All episodes of this podcast
are available for free download at www. Dots only one
Media greep dot com

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