Art of Self Forgiveness
June 21, 2016•9 min
Forgiveness is not just something for you to grant others and them to grant you. It's important to learn to forgive yourself.When you think about forgiveness, you probably consider the time your mom forgave you for breaking the window with a baseball. Or, perhaps you think about the time you told your friend it was okay that she missed your birthday party. Forgiveness usually conjures thoughts of other people.You have to start considering how to forgive yourself.Trying new things is a challenge. Screw ups happen. You forgot to pack your salad and wound up buying pizza for lunch. You didn't get a move right in yoga class. You took a wrong turn. It's okay. There's no need to beat yourself up about it.Self denigrating talk can give you permission to keep messing up. If you chastise yourself each time you drop the ball, you set up a system where that punishment makes it okay to mess up again. Instead of always giving yourself a stern talking-to, use a journal or talk to someone about your mistakes. Get out of your head and determine the lessons to be taken away from the errors.Making amends to others who are affected by your mistakes can help you feel better and change your behavior. If someone perceives you've made an error and calls you out, listen. Pause, breathe and acknowledge. Own your mistakes. If you didn't make a mistake, you can still control how you react to the perceived correction.If you can't forgive yourself after trying to change your ways, seek help. A counselor or pastor can guide you.Listen in as Dr. Holly Lucille shares how to forgive yourself.