Pat & Stu

FULL: The Statue of "Refugee" - 2/22/17

February 22, 201792 min
-Pat and Stu ponder Donald Trump’s inaction on immigration policies enacted by the Obama Administration. Why didn’t Trump take action on day one in office after running a campaign focused on enforcing immigration laws that had been ignored? Has he gone back to his democratic roots and gone down the path of “comprehensive immigration reform”? Pat explains that such reform undoubtedly means amnesty to illegal immigrants.

-New York police are on the hunt for four activists who mounted a “Refugees Welcome” banner on the Statue of Liberty. The only lead they reportedly have is that one of the four is named “David”. So, if you know a “David” living in the Tri-State area, call NYPD now! (Actually, please do not do that.)

-Venezuela has continued to plummet into chaos as its socialist policies have led to its starving citizens taking on a “Maduro” diet and eating flamingos to stay alive. The guys wonder if the birds taste like cotton candy… In all seriousness though, 82 percent of Venezuelans live below the poverty line, so we can pretty clearly discern that things have only gotten worse since the death of Hugo Chavez.

-The Trump Administration has announced that they will lift federal transgender bathroom guidelines. Exactly what this means is still uncertain, but Pat and Stu agree that it is probably good news for conservatives who either champion the states’ right to choose or a policy of “the gender of your junk” (Stu’s exact words).

-President Trump is a very well-spoken man… sort of… Okay, maybe he isn’t. While visiting the new African-American History Museum in Washington, the President allegedly looked upon a slave auction block from Maryland and was quoted as saying, “Boy, that is just not good. That is not good.” On a pair of shackles, he supposedly remarked, “Boy, that is really bad. That is really bad.” Well, he’s not wrong.

-Major League Baseball pitchers no longer have to throw four pitches for an intentional walk. Now all the umpire needs is a signal from the dugout to send the batter to first base. The guys agree that this isn’t messing with tradition too much. They can’t say the same for the idea of giving both teams a free runner on second in extra innings to help shorten games.

-A Massachusetts school district has halted a program that had police officers high-five students as they entered school. The rationale behind this action is that “some students might not be comfortable with police presence at the beginning of the day.” Pat, Stu, and Jeffy agree that we should have more of these programs in place to promote trust of such authority figures.

-“Illegal Aliens” or “Undocumented Immigrants”? What is the proper way to address the millions of immigrants who have entered this country without proper authorization? According to the AP Stylebook, the only term to use is “Undocumented Immigrants." Stu makes the claim that "Illegal Aliens" sounds like these people actually entered the country illegally (which they did), whereas "Undocumented Immigrants" sounds like they are documented, but just left their papers at home.

-Glenn Beck joins the program to tell the story of Booker T. Washington's emancipation from slavery and subsequent rise to prominence within the African-American community. Glenn implores listeners to read 'Up from Slavery', which eliminates all doubt about what sort of man Washington really was.

-Why do cartoon characters wear gloves? The reason is not racism, as was surmised on a previous episode. The reason is that these humanized versions of animals required additional contrast to be seen properly in grainy, black-and-white footage.

-The guys eat and rate new salsa and queso-flavored chips in the latest edition of SPOONS! And this might just be the most split verdict in recent memory.

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