March 23, 2023 • 16 mins
It's the triumphant (?) return of Anney's happy hours! Back after a brief hiatus, we chat about the concept of settling down.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
Never Told You production of iHeartRadio. And we're back. We're
back with my Happy Hours. Hey, it's been a minute.
(00:26):
It's been a minute, yes, because we have doing our
last of us mini series, which will give you me.
I had more thoughts and almost made this another episode
about that, but I didn't. I didn't. I get ants. Yes, So,
as always with these, drink responsibly if you choose to
(00:46):
drink at all, or whatever you choose to drink. Um, Samantha,
what are you sipping on? You know, it's been a
rough day, so I'm just gonna keep it with a
diet coke and get me some caffeine for fit. What
about you? I got my red red wine. So yeah,
it's been a it's been a minute since we've done
(01:07):
one of these happy hours. And actually we try to
do this one earlier, but a tornado we're interrupted us
morning very eruptly. We're like, no, let's just not do
this right now, because I thought there was a tornado outside.
So but I wanted to talk about this. I thought
(01:28):
it would be an appropriate topic to come back to.
And it's this idea of settling and not really in
a relationship, but kind of in our out of relationship,
which is kind of like settling because lately I've been
in my apartment I think eight years seven or eight,
and I love it. It's not like huge, but I
(01:50):
love it. But I've I've always liked renting because I
liked the idea that I could just go, I could
just move to a different city. And I was pretty
hesitant about saying like I'm from Atlanta or I've been
in Atlanta for a long time. And I think that's
(02:11):
sort of my like strange high school brain of being like, nah,
I'm going to go places. And I've grown to really
love Atlanta, and I think it's just sort of that
idea when you're younger, where you're like, oh, I'll go
to the big city, or I'll go live in a
different country or what have you. But I've started, and
it's in part because my life has been chaos during
(02:33):
the pandemic. I've started collecting a lot of stuff and
there's not all the space that I need for the stuff.
So the question becomes like do I settle here where
I love in my apartment, or do I move? Do
(02:56):
I stay or do I go. And it's just kind
of like I'm entering a new phase. It sort of
reminds me of what we were talking about with the
millennial midlife crisis, uh, Samantha, where I just feel it's
sort of it's sort of just came out of nowhere,
it feels like. But it's made me be like, huh,
(03:18):
I feel like I need to make a decision. I
feel like I've just sort of been waiting for something,
and now I feel like I should decide what I'm
gonna do. You know, I just I just had a
deja vu of me a year ago. I think almost
around this time that I had that whole. I think
(03:40):
it's time for me to buy a house. It was
probably earlier in the year. I guess it was earlier
in the year. But it's oh yeah, yeah, look at us.
I don't mean after each other. I just realized that.
So that means in the next three months you could
have a house or months. I did. Look, could I
(04:05):
admit to you, I look, I have some properties that
I'm goua send you now. I think it's just like
and I'm sure you could. You could probably talk me
through this, and I know you have an episode coming
up in May where you're going to do kind of
a revisit of your homeownership. But I guess it feels
(04:25):
kind of daunting to like, this is it. This is
not that you can't ever move, but I feel like
if I move into a house, or if I buy
a piece of property that's probably gonna be in Well,
I will say that there does seem to be a
finality in it, especially as I watch my house value
(04:47):
go down and knowing that I can't sell it to
make it back the money right now. Of course, I
have no intention of moving, because moving it's a pain
in the air. Yes, so that's not a thing. But yeah,
there there is, like and I'm here for you because
I told you I had a full blown panic attack
when I just talked to a relator in the story
m And so there's a lot to it, for sure,
(05:09):
and right now for you even more so. Is the
economic stabilities not great? Not great? Um, but you you
have a better standing than most people in general because
you have been very frugal in your life. Um, and
a good saver, good job, good a job, good adult job.
(05:30):
One of my most embarrassing facts about myself is that
I learned how to do that from the show Friends.
I don't think I need that, you know what, there's
something I guess where Monica anyway, I was like in
middle school taking notes. Okay, Okay, that's how I saved.
(05:56):
I'm like blushing that I'm so embarrassed about that. That's hilario.
But yeah, I mean it's also it's it is. That's
kind of what I'm talking about with this idea of settling,
because I feel like I've settled, and I really owe
it to you, Samantha and to a lot of you listeners,
into like my identity a lot more, how I identify,
(06:17):
how I'm pretty, I'm okay without having the partner and
all that stuff. Like, I've settled into that part of
myself and that feels like really good. It feels like
something has a puzzle pieces come together, and it's actually
made it easier for me to think about a lot
of other things because it's kind of removed that worry
from my brain. So I don't think if that hadn't happened,
(06:39):
I don't think i'd be even in this space at all.
But you know, listeners know of the show, I struggled
with that too. I struggled with that for a long time,
and so now I feel like I'm struggling with Yeah.
It feels like that finality of that decision of like, okay,
is this, it is this, I'm closing this to where
(06:59):
in this door, in this door, and this is the
door and everybody goes through that. I'm not unique in
that at all, but this is kind of where I am.
And I have been thinking about a lot because my
lease is coming up. I think that's one of the reasons,
but it is also it's chaos in my apartment. If
you have too much, and you have too much, here's
(07:23):
the thing you control, chaos. I love you. I was
always confused. I'm like, oh my god, she has so
much stuff. You're bordering on hoarder. I love you. This
is the talk though I taught you, I can't like
get rid of. I'm like, but this was a nice
thing someone wrote. So this is when we were clearing
(07:46):
out Annie's desk. She had things from five years before,
including mints that she has never eaten because she's somewhat
allergic to mint. And I'm like, why do you have this?
And You're like, well, someone gave it to me and
I'm like, girl, I'm I'm gonna throw this away. I
physically had to take it from you. So when I
came to your house, which is always clean, that is
(08:06):
not a thing. I see stacks of paper everywhere and
I was like, what are these which, by the way,
in Animal Crossing, you could just construct a stack of paper,
and I feel like your house needs that, So I'm
gonna get that for you. But all these things like
but why do you have this? Literally, this little kid
that I like wrote this for me ten years ago,
(08:27):
I'm like, that kid has forgotten you. I'm sorry, But
there's so many things that you have that I'm like, wow,
you are very sentimental, and I get that, so I
have no like, I don't want you to throw those
things away, but yeah, I think it's time for you
to find space. This is gonna sound more of it,
(09:02):
but it's not at all. I do have a living
will and I have a will also. I have both,
but I was just thinking I need to update it.
And I was thinking about like, who's gonna get my
disco loop coast here, Like who's gonna get all these items?
Which is ridiculous, but that is part of like my
thinking in this conversation is like, I do have a
(09:24):
lot of stuff and where is it going to go?
And part of that is I'm just such a nerd
and I'm such a fan. So I literally have friends
who maybe wants every two weeks just send me a
Star Wars thing, and that's I'm like, well, I love this,
but now it's another thing I've got to find a
space for. Yeah. I remember when this pandemic first started,
(09:48):
I wanted to do an episode on women versus men
in cleanliness. I haven't, Like, I did do some research
on it, but I'm mostly basing this anecdotally. Like my brothers,
we're definitely not listening. But if you happen to be well,
if yeah, but you are not clean at all, like gross,
like the kind of like you walk in and immediately
(10:08):
walk out and kind of way like not good at all.
And I remember growing up my room was always very
very clean, like the kind of clean that might make
you nervous as an adult seeing this child's room so clean. Yeah,
whereas their room their rooms. Oh anyway, but it is.
(10:31):
It is funny because I feel like I have been
so stressed, as we all have during this and I've
been so busy that I just have had so many
things built up, and I kept telling myself, I'll deal
with it later. And I'm not a procrastinator, but I
do have priorities, and that's not one of them. So
(10:54):
we recently got new equipment because it's been three years
since we've been coming at you from home. And in fact,
if it sounds different, I apologize. I'm still working on
the settings of my new microphone. But I tried to
clean out the space that I work in and was like, wow,
I've just been working in complaint. But it is one
(11:20):
of those things. And so that's another choice where I'm
kind of there's a part of me that hesitates, you know,
that's like, how much do I really want to put
into cleaning this up if I'm going to move out? Oh?
I don't know. But there are other things too, Like
I now I mentioned before on here, but my spell
check hasn't been working in forever, and some of you
(11:42):
have written in about spelling errors. That's my fault. I
will take the blame for it. It's because my spell
check isn't working and you don't think to check it,
and then I haven't fixed it. It's just one of
those things. I know it is a problem, but I hilarious.
My fridge, as you know, hasn't been working in months.
I I just have been like pushing off a lot
(12:05):
of stuff because I feel like I'm at the precipice
of a decision. Yeah, and I'm also very busy, Like
I know, we all are very busy. It is my choice,
Like I said, it's a choosing a priorities where I'm
choosing to be busy and to do all this stuff. Um,
but I am, and so I'm trying to. I did
(12:27):
do a bunch of like cleaning, I set up the studio.
Samantha and I were talking, We did our taxes, We
did taxes. I'm scary, you know. And I think for you,
what's so funny is you're not really a procrastinator in
anything else but something that might help you. That's the
(12:48):
that's the funny part of me. The refrigerator has been
an ongoing issue, and you kept pushing off because you
did not want to talk to this person. And I
get an anxieties him. But the only person this is
affecting it is obviously you, Like, why why are you
not doing this? This is the point of renting that
you don't have to deal with that, you buy yourself,
you get somebody else to deal with it. But I
(13:08):
do like it's absolutely that level of not caring for
yourself as you should. I said it, but it is.
It is hilarious and were WESO. I definitely had what
I suspect was a pretty severe case of food poisoning
(13:28):
because of that refrigerator, but I cannot other side. It
has been funny too because I am starting. I'm just
so bad at it, like the priorities thing, so I
started the Last of Us to you. Now I'm writing
fan fiction, and let me tell you, it takes some
(13:49):
time to post it and respond and thanks to everybody
who's responded, but you know, like it's the whole thing.
So I'm having to, like, I am trying to be
much better, and it's straight because I don't really think
about it, but I do normally have kind of a
spring cleaning mode, and I feel like I'm in that
mode right now where I'm trying to like clean up,
(14:10):
whether it's how I work or how I spend my
time or all of those things. I do think part
of it is the last of Us is ended, and
so that's probably like a okay, time out to kick
into gear something else. But I don't know. I've been
thinking about this a lot about what am I going
(14:30):
to do next? What am I going to settle? Am
I going to settle? I don't know. I don't know,
but it's good. It's good to be thinking about it.
At least. I think that's that's even one step. Like
I might not move for a while, but now I'm
thinking about it, which is new. So we'll see, We'll
(14:54):
see how it goes. In the meantime, I look forward
to your random sending of property. It's going to happen today.
It's gonna start. I'm excited. I love it. Oh, I
can't wait. I need to. I need to check back
in on your animal crossing house. You know, I have
the entire house built. I am in much debt of bells.
(15:21):
I'm getting there. I love it so much. Check it
out soon. I want to see it well. Okay. In
the meantime, listeners, if you have any thoughts about this,
about settling, about animal crossing houses, about housing in general,
you can right to us our emails at Stephanie mom
Steff at iheartmia dot com. You can find us on Twitter,
(15:42):
I'm Moms a podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at
Stuff One Number told you Things, It's always too our
super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
Thank you and thanks to you for listening Stuff I
Never Told his spection about heart Radio. For more podcast
for my radio, you can check out the AH Radio app,
Apple podcast or where you listen to your favorite shows.
(16:07):
H
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
Never Told You production of iHeartRadio. And we're back. We're
back with my Happy Hours. Hey, it's been a minute.
(00:26):
It's been a minute, yes, because we have doing our
last of us mini series, which will give you me.
I had more thoughts and almost made this another episode
about that, but I didn't. I didn't. I get ants. Yes, So,
as always with these, drink responsibly if you choose to
(00:46):
drink at all, or whatever you choose to drink. Um, Samantha,
what are you sipping on? You know, it's been a
rough day, so I'm just gonna keep it with a
diet coke and get me some caffeine for fit. What
about you? I got my red red wine. So yeah,
it's been a it's been a minute since we've done
(01:07):
one of these happy hours. And actually we try to
do this one earlier, but a tornado we're interrupted us
morning very eruptly. We're like, no, let's just not do
this right now, because I thought there was a tornado outside.
So but I wanted to talk about this. I thought
(01:28):
it would be an appropriate topic to come back to.
And it's this idea of settling and not really in
a relationship, but kind of in our out of relationship,
which is kind of like settling because lately I've been
in my apartment I think eight years seven or eight,
and I love it. It's not like huge, but I
(01:50):
love it. But I've I've always liked renting because I
liked the idea that I could just go, I could
just move to a different city. And I was pretty
hesitant about saying like I'm from Atlanta or I've been
in Atlanta for a long time. And I think that's
(02:11):
sort of my like strange high school brain of being like, nah,
I'm going to go places. And I've grown to really
love Atlanta, and I think it's just sort of that
idea when you're younger, where you're like, oh, I'll go
to the big city, or I'll go live in a
different country or what have you. But I've started, and
it's in part because my life has been chaos during
(02:33):
the pandemic. I've started collecting a lot of stuff and
there's not all the space that I need for the stuff.
So the question becomes like do I settle here where
I love in my apartment, or do I move? Do
(02:56):
I stay or do I go. And it's just kind
of like I'm entering a new phase. It sort of
reminds me of what we were talking about with the
millennial midlife crisis, uh, Samantha, where I just feel it's
sort of it's sort of just came out of nowhere,
it feels like. But it's made me be like, huh,
(03:18):
I feel like I need to make a decision. I
feel like I've just sort of been waiting for something,
and now I feel like I should decide what I'm
gonna do. You know, I just I just had a
deja vu of me a year ago. I think almost
around this time that I had that whole. I think
(03:40):
it's time for me to buy a house. It was
probably earlier in the year. I guess it was earlier
in the year. But it's oh yeah, yeah, look at us.
I don't mean after each other. I just realized that.
So that means in the next three months you could
have a house or months. I did. Look, could I
(04:05):
admit to you, I look, I have some properties that
I'm goua send you now. I think it's just like
and I'm sure you could. You could probably talk me
through this, and I know you have an episode coming
up in May where you're going to do kind of
a revisit of your homeownership. But I guess it feels
(04:25):
kind of daunting to like, this is it. This is
not that you can't ever move, but I feel like
if I move into a house, or if I buy
a piece of property that's probably gonna be in Well,
I will say that there does seem to be a
finality in it, especially as I watch my house value
(04:47):
go down and knowing that I can't sell it to
make it back the money right now. Of course, I
have no intention of moving, because moving it's a pain
in the air. Yes, so that's not a thing. But yeah,
there there is, like and I'm here for you because
I told you I had a full blown panic attack
when I just talked to a relator in the story
m And so there's a lot to it, for sure,
(05:09):
and right now for you even more so. Is the
economic stabilities not great? Not great? Um, but you you
have a better standing than most people in general because
you have been very frugal in your life. Um, and
a good saver, good job, good a job, good adult job.
(05:30):
One of my most embarrassing facts about myself is that
I learned how to do that from the show Friends.
I don't think I need that, you know what, there's
something I guess where Monica anyway, I was like in
middle school taking notes. Okay, Okay, that's how I saved.
(05:56):
I'm like blushing that I'm so embarrassed about that. That's hilario.
But yeah, I mean it's also it's it is. That's
kind of what I'm talking about with this idea of settling,
because I feel like I've settled, and I really owe
it to you, Samantha and to a lot of you listeners,
into like my identity a lot more, how I identify,
(06:17):
how I'm pretty, I'm okay without having the partner and
all that stuff. Like, I've settled into that part of
myself and that feels like really good. It feels like
something has a puzzle pieces come together, and it's actually
made it easier for me to think about a lot
of other things because it's kind of removed that worry
from my brain. So I don't think if that hadn't happened,
(06:39):
I don't think i'd be even in this space at all.
But you know, listeners know of the show, I struggled
with that too. I struggled with that for a long time,
and so now I feel like I'm struggling with Yeah.
It feels like that finality of that decision of like, okay,
is this, it is this, I'm closing this to where
(06:59):
in this door, in this door, and this is the
door and everybody goes through that. I'm not unique in
that at all, but this is kind of where I am.
And I have been thinking about a lot because my
lease is coming up. I think that's one of the reasons,
but it is also it's chaos in my apartment. If
you have too much, and you have too much, here's
(07:23):
the thing you control, chaos. I love you. I was
always confused. I'm like, oh my god, she has so
much stuff. You're bordering on hoarder. I love you. This
is the talk though I taught you, I can't like
get rid of. I'm like, but this was a nice
thing someone wrote. So this is when we were clearing
(07:46):
out Annie's desk. She had things from five years before,
including mints that she has never eaten because she's somewhat
allergic to mint. And I'm like, why do you have this?
And You're like, well, someone gave it to me and
I'm like, girl, I'm I'm gonna throw this away. I
physically had to take it from you. So when I
came to your house, which is always clean, that is
(08:06):
not a thing. I see stacks of paper everywhere and
I was like, what are these which, by the way,
in Animal Crossing, you could just construct a stack of paper,
and I feel like your house needs that, So I'm
gonna get that for you. But all these things like
but why do you have this? Literally, this little kid
that I like wrote this for me ten years ago,
(08:27):
I'm like, that kid has forgotten you. I'm sorry, But
there's so many things that you have that I'm like, wow,
you are very sentimental, and I get that, so I
have no like, I don't want you to throw those
things away, but yeah, I think it's time for you
to find space. This is gonna sound more of it,
(09:02):
but it's not at all. I do have a living
will and I have a will also. I have both,
but I was just thinking I need to update it.
And I was thinking about like, who's gonna get my
disco loop coast here, Like who's gonna get all these items?
Which is ridiculous, but that is part of like my
thinking in this conversation is like, I do have a
(09:24):
lot of stuff and where is it going to go?
And part of that is I'm just such a nerd
and I'm such a fan. So I literally have friends
who maybe wants every two weeks just send me a
Star Wars thing, and that's I'm like, well, I love this,
but now it's another thing I've got to find a
space for. Yeah. I remember when this pandemic first started,
(09:48):
I wanted to do an episode on women versus men
in cleanliness. I haven't, Like, I did do some research
on it, but I'm mostly basing this anecdotally. Like my brothers,
we're definitely not listening. But if you happen to be well,
if yeah, but you are not clean at all, like gross,
like the kind of like you walk in and immediately
(10:08):
walk out and kind of way like not good at all.
And I remember growing up my room was always very
very clean, like the kind of clean that might make
you nervous as an adult seeing this child's room so clean. Yeah,
whereas their room their rooms. Oh anyway, but it is.
(10:31):
It is funny because I feel like I have been
so stressed, as we all have during this and I've
been so busy that I just have had so many
things built up, and I kept telling myself, I'll deal
with it later. And I'm not a procrastinator, but I
do have priorities, and that's not one of them. So
(10:54):
we recently got new equipment because it's been three years
since we've been coming at you from home. And in fact,
if it sounds different, I apologize. I'm still working on
the settings of my new microphone. But I tried to
clean out the space that I work in and was like, wow,
I've just been working in complaint. But it is one
(11:20):
of those things. And so that's another choice where I'm
kind of there's a part of me that hesitates, you know,
that's like, how much do I really want to put
into cleaning this up if I'm going to move out? Oh?
I don't know. But there are other things too, Like
I now I mentioned before on here, but my spell
check hasn't been working in forever, and some of you
(11:42):
have written in about spelling errors. That's my fault. I
will take the blame for it. It's because my spell
check isn't working and you don't think to check it,
and then I haven't fixed it. It's just one of
those things. I know it is a problem, but I hilarious.
My fridge, as you know, hasn't been working in months.
I I just have been like pushing off a lot
(12:05):
of stuff because I feel like I'm at the precipice
of a decision. Yeah, and I'm also very busy, Like
I know, we all are very busy. It is my choice,
Like I said, it's a choosing a priorities where I'm
choosing to be busy and to do all this stuff. Um,
but I am, and so I'm trying to. I did
(12:27):
do a bunch of like cleaning, I set up the studio.
Samantha and I were talking, We did our taxes, We
did taxes. I'm scary, you know. And I think for you,
what's so funny is you're not really a procrastinator in
anything else but something that might help you. That's the
(12:48):
that's the funny part of me. The refrigerator has been
an ongoing issue, and you kept pushing off because you
did not want to talk to this person. And I
get an anxieties him. But the only person this is
affecting it is obviously you, Like, why why are you
not doing this? This is the point of renting that
you don't have to deal with that, you buy yourself,
you get somebody else to deal with it. But I
(13:08):
do like it's absolutely that level of not caring for
yourself as you should. I said it, but it is.
It is hilarious and were WESO. I definitely had what
I suspect was a pretty severe case of food poisoning
(13:28):
because of that refrigerator, but I cannot other side. It
has been funny too because I am starting. I'm just
so bad at it, like the priorities thing, so I
started the Last of Us to you. Now I'm writing
fan fiction, and let me tell you, it takes some
(13:49):
time to post it and respond and thanks to everybody
who's responded, but you know, like it's the whole thing.
So I'm having to, like, I am trying to be
much better, and it's straight because I don't really think
about it, but I do normally have kind of a
spring cleaning mode, and I feel like I'm in that
mode right now where I'm trying to like clean up,
(14:10):
whether it's how I work or how I spend my
time or all of those things. I do think part
of it is the last of Us is ended, and
so that's probably like a okay, time out to kick
into gear something else. But I don't know. I've been
thinking about this a lot about what am I going
(14:30):
to do next? What am I going to settle? Am
I going to settle? I don't know. I don't know,
but it's good. It's good to be thinking about it.
At least. I think that's that's even one step. Like
I might not move for a while, but now I'm
thinking about it, which is new. So we'll see, We'll
(14:54):
see how it goes. In the meantime, I look forward
to your random sending of property. It's going to happen today.
It's gonna start. I'm excited. I love it. Oh, I
can't wait. I need to. I need to check back
in on your animal crossing house. You know, I have
the entire house built. I am in much debt of bells.
(15:21):
I'm getting there. I love it so much. Check it
out soon. I want to see it well. Okay. In
the meantime, listeners, if you have any thoughts about this,
about settling, about animal crossing houses, about housing in general,
you can right to us our emails at Stephanie mom
Steff at iheartmia dot com. You can find us on Twitter,
(15:42):
I'm Moms a podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at
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