March 21, 2019 • 24 mins
A very special episode discussing the difficulties of bullying with a 10 year old girl.
Credits:
Ron Burgundy: Host, Writer, Executive Producer
Carolina Barlow: Co-Host, Writer, and Producer.
Producers: Whitney Hodack, Jack O’Brien, Miles Gray, and Nick Stumpf
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Consulting Producer: Andrew Steele
Associate Producer: Anna Hossnieh
Writer: Jake Fogelnest
Production Supervisor: Colin MacDougall
This episode was Engineered, Mixed and Edited by: Nick Stumpf
Music Clearance by Suzanne Coffman
Guest Expert: Gwendolynne Daisy Karaba
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Rombergny podcast. Romburguny Podcast. Oh yeah, I can feel that
one deep in my loins. I mean, that's your song
(00:26):
for your aunt. Though it is is an emotional and
funky song. It's like most funk songs. It tugs at
your heartstrings. I don't know if I feel that way,
but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.
That's all I need, is the benefit of the doubt,
which sounds like a funk song to me. All right,
you're listening to Ron Burgundy. This is the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
(00:50):
Last night, I was walking along a dark alley whistling
a lonesome tune when I came upon a pack of
wild dogs. I froze and fear stripped nude, as you
need to let them know you are naked as they
are to establish trust. Well, that didn't work, and they
ran after me, nipping at my achilles heel like it
(01:13):
was a chicken bone. Now, not a lot of you
know what my achilles heel is, but it is my
achilles heel, it literally is. I really don't like it
when it gets hurt. It's one of the more sensitive
areas of my body. The only thing that got them
off me those wild pack of dogs was pure cruel bullying.
(01:39):
What did you say to them? Well, I they called
the MANGI I called them ununified, undignified, just mean horrible
things that I knew wild dogs would would really recoil from.
And you think they got it, well, I think they
heard a loud noise is and it scared them away. Yeah,
(02:02):
but my point is bullying is not cool. But hole right,
I'm not talking to you butth hole, cheap bastard, nancy boy,
loose woman sound familiar, m Oh, I've um no, I've
(02:29):
never been called a butth hole or lose. No, I'm
saying hypothetically, sure, these are examples of something a bully
might say. And it was those types of words that
protected me from the strays last night and what got
me to the pay phone where I called the authorities, which,
by the way, when you call the authorities and tell
(02:51):
them that you've been attacked by a pack of stray dogs,
they don't really respond to it. Yeah, no, I don't know. Um,
I I know almost zero people that's happened too. But
still it's a public service. They're supposed to protect the people,
the text paying public. But they said there's nothing we
(03:12):
can do, and we don't believe you. I have a question,
did you put quarters in the pay phone? Well? I
didn't have any change, So what I did was in
the coin slot. I folded up very tightly a one
dollar bill and I jammed it into the slot. Okay,
I see the problem. Yeah, you heard nothing on the
(03:33):
other lie, No, I heard. I heard the operator. Oh okay, great,
b b By Yeah, b By. That's not a robot
or anything. That's just a please hang up that lady.
I heard that lady. Yeah, And I thought, well, i've
I'm here to have been attacked by stray dogs. Yeah, no,
that's usually like pay phones are hard to find these days.
(03:56):
Have you noticed absolutely how long did you go trying? Finally, Well,
there was one right there in that dark alley, So
on one hand I was lucky. On the other hand,
I had no coins and no one responded anyway. Three
hours later, when I was wrapped in a blanket in
the back of an ambulance, and after speaking to the
(04:18):
cops and the E M T. S. I realized I
don't bully often, but when I do, I can be rough.
And what were your injuries major lacerations and what they
referred to as slabber marks. I was coated in a
sheen of slabber, which they said, there are a lot
(04:39):
of germs. Even though then again, it's so confusing because
I read another story that said the inside of a
dog's mouth is one of the cleanest areas there is. Yeah,
I've read that story. So you just you know, like
have to take a bath. They hosed me down in
a solution. Okay, anyway back to bullying now. I don't
(05:02):
I don't want to say anything partisan, but I for
one am starting to take an anti bullying stance. Powerful.
I thank you. I went back and forth, but I
finally realized that maybe just because they're usually the funnest,
coolest kids in class, it doesn't make them the good guys. Right, No,
(05:24):
definitely not. I usually thought they were pretty mean. Actually,
I don't know. I'm thinking back to a good Palamine
bard Ox Nordeah, gosh, he was great with the bullying,
he was great with the put downs, and I wanted
to be like him. Yeah, I don't know. I got
a swirly once from some um girls that went to
(05:45):
a sorority, and it was really painful. It was really humiliating.
What's a swirly? Is that an ice cream treat? No?
They put my head in a toilet? Yes, a swirly,
Yeah that was I didn't think that was funny at all. Yeah,
we um. That was a regular baptismal for me from
(06:07):
bart But boy, I looked up to him in a
weird way. I looked up to him. I can't even
think about it. It's so painful. All right, let's don't.
But when you're least expecting a Carolina, I'm going to
give you a swirly. No, I please don't. For old
time's sake, I don't think it's okay. You won't know
it's about to happen, and you laugh afterwards. I don't
(06:29):
think I will. And it's not bullying. Just so you know,
it's a fun joke. I'm not doing it because I'm
a bully. I'm just like Caroline is going to get
a kick out of this swirly time. That was a
toilet flushing. By the way, all right, Carolina now joining
us is an expert on bullying. Ah, and who could
(06:50):
be a better expert than a lame young child Gwendoline
Daisy carrab Please introduce yourself to the listener is and
and speak up. Hello. My name is Gondalin Daisy Corraba.
And do you go by the full name? Should I
call you Gwendoline Daisy Carraba? Just call me Gwen, call
(07:13):
you Gwen great, Gwenn. Thank you for joining us. Have
you met Carolina? Hi? Gwen? Hi Carolina. Um, so let
me ask you this, Gwen. What great are you in?
I'm in fifth grade? Fifth grade? So that means you're what, no,
not at all? Older? No younger? Okay, okay, fourteen? He
(07:36):
already guess that. Geez, help me, Carolina. So I would
say your life perserver here? You're about ten? Yeah, okay, ten,
fifth grade? Ten? It's I was a long time since
I was in fifth grade, so I just forgot looks
like it too, Okay, relax, relax. So, Gwen, let me
(08:00):
ask you this. Who's Who's How do I phrase that?
I want to put this elegantly because I'm a journalist. Um,
when you think of the schoolyard or your friends, Who's
who's the biggest act toll? You know? Oh, Jane Doe,
she sounds like a piece of work. What what is
it that Jane Done does exactly? She calls my dance
(08:23):
competitions a little Oh my god, Jane done even dance.
She goes to a valet in school. Oh so she's
pretty good. Oh okay, And what do you say to
Jane Doe when she attacks you in such a way? Stop?
This is not nice. It sounds like what you said
(08:46):
to those dogs. That's what I tried. I was attacked
by a pack of wild dogs the other night, and
I I told them to stop. It's not nice. Dogs
don't understand English a least not. No, he he'll roll
over and drive the car. No, well my dog does.
(09:07):
I'm surprised you're not in a car accident by now.
Well we haven't been, so stop bullying me. Stop bowling, Baxter.
Let me ask you this. Do people come up to you,
meaning children, your fellow classmates? Do they do? They do
mean things like come up and clink you on the
nose or snap your suspenders. But I don't wear suspenders.
(09:29):
Do do many of the children wear suspenders nowadays? No? Not,
but they're coming back right? No? Okay, okay, strike that, Carolina.
You gotta give me better questions here. Sorry, these are
some old questions. Um, are you familiar with Milannia Trump.
She's the wife of the president. Um, I don't like her?
(09:51):
Oh okay, well, um, interesting, interesting, that is a hot take.
Hot take from Gwen. Well, you're not holding back, are you? Do?
You feel like the president is a bit of a
bully sometimes? And here's the irony is that Milannia Trump
(10:13):
she has a social media campaign fighting against bullying. Now
do you think her stance has helped the situation with
bullying at all? No? No, not at all? Not effective.
Jane Doe hasn't heard. Jane Doe younger than me, she's
in fourth grade. What is her deal? Then? Why does
(10:34):
she think she can talk smack? Do you? I don't know.
So basically it sounds like Jane Done, Milannia need to
hang out. You know. She kind of looks like you,
Jane Done. Ugly. Um, I mean, let's move on. I'm
going to ignore that, Gwen. Let me let me ask
this question. I back in the seventies for the ABC network,
(10:57):
I recorded a public service announcement on bullying. Have you
ever heard it? Now? But my mom works? Oh great?
Does she enjoy it? Then she's probably heard of this?
Would you like to hear? Let's let's play let's play
my ps A. Listen to this dummy four eyes, jolly
(11:20):
green giant. How's the air up there? Liar swamp boy,
trailer trash humpback of your notary mom, geek jack wagon,
poor kid. Hey, when you put on a red shirt
and lean out a window, people think you're the kool
aid man face, metal mouth, cupcake face, loser. This is
(11:47):
ron Burgundy. Those were some tough words. These words don't
feel so good. Do they remember what you say matters?
I actually like cupcake face. That sounds good. It does
sound delicious. Do you ever at times? I'm getting off
(12:11):
topic here? Do you ever dream that your face is
different foods? Well? Last night I had dreamed that my
brother was a Hamburger and I hate him. Was he delicious? No?
Hamburger boy, hamburger hey, hamburger boy. Take that you're in
my belly and now I'm about to poop you out.
(12:39):
We are enjoying each other's company. I'm not oh, especially
you Gwendolin. Please, this is anti. But did you feel
like my p s A was effective? It wasn't the most.
Let's move Let's move on. Let's move on. Um so
(13:00):
look back to Jane Doe. Do you think you might
be bringing some of her bullying onto yourself? Well, really
think about it. Yeah, okay, yeah, I think that's one
of the things about bullying that's fascinating. Of Course, it
(13:22):
doesn't feel good, but I think at the end of
the day, we have to look in the mirror sometimes,
ron Is, I'm just gonna say hard on me, and
I still keep showing up to work. You know, even
though my mom, my therapist, my friends, my boyfriend, my
loved ones um, people online say I should just get
a new job. So I don't know, maybe he should. Well,
(13:44):
you know, I'm right. Well, you know, it's hard out there.
When you start working, it's much harder. They say it's
a good economy, it's not really. Just so you know, Gwen,
let me ask you this. David Edelstein, an art critic
for New York Magazine, had this to say about Christian
(14:07):
Marclays The Clock. Beyond the coincidental temporal associations, I could
discern little connection among the clips. It's just a gimmick.
I just can't conceive of watching it for longer than
I did, let alone nineteen effing hours. Do you think
he's a bully? And if so, should we destroy him? Well,
(14:30):
if he doesn't repeatedly, he would be a bully by definition.
But yeah, but if she just does it once, then
that's not a bully. It's just a one time. It's
just one time where he's kind of mean. They could
actually make up and become friends. That's really that's that
really is a lot of foresight there. How are you
(14:50):
familiar with Jadakiss? No singer s he's not really a
friend of mine, but more of an acquaintance. Um. And
he had this to say about fifty Cent, another person
I know through music circles, And this is what he said.
He said, Yeah, you've got a felony, but you ain't
a predicate, never the King of New York. You live
(15:13):
in Connecticut. First of all, Connecticut is lovely, so I
don't I don't see an insult. Yeah, my my family
lives some of my family lives in Connecticut. Okay, so
you're familiar with it, and it's it's a perfectly great place,
so you can't really not Connecticut. And New York is
nice too. But so how should I How should I
handle the beef between both of them? As since I'm
(15:36):
friends with both, this is something that Ron has been
stressed out about for a while. Should I get him
in a room? You know what I should do? And Gwen,
with your permission, maybe I do kind of a Oh
what's the movie with the girls Lindsey Lohan Parent Parent
trappl I love it to remember the part? Yeah, Natasha
(15:57):
Richardson Dennis Quaid one and then there's like a new one.
There was the old one with Hailey Mills. I like
the old one better, but the new one still pretty good. Yeah,
they're both really good. I'm wondering if I pull a
parent trap and I tell Jada Kiss that why don't
you come to Connecticut to my friend Gwen's family's house?
(16:20):
And then I tell Fitty, like, you want to come
down to Connecticut just you and me? Bro time? And
then Jadakiss walks in the room, fifty cent walks in
the room. Jane Doe, we just work it out. I
don't like Jane Doe, all right, but still, can I
use your family's house in Connecticut? No? No, I don't
(16:40):
think they would like a crazy person coming through their house.
What invited me here? But crazy person being just a
fond term of endearment. No crazy person oh, you literally
think I'm crazy. Well, we have like a few more questions,
A few more questions here. Uh, Gwen, if if you
(17:01):
were a bully to me, what would you say? I
just I just want to be prepared. Um the seventies
called they want their clothes back. Okay, you know, Okay,
Hey wait wait one second, Ron, Hey open, come on, Ron,
(17:30):
It's okay, it's okay. What did she keep laughing like that?
I think that she keeps? Okay, Gwen, Ron, we can
get through this trying to examine boying not have perpetuated.
We've got this. You want to put this one in
(17:52):
the bag, and you want to go My clothes look fine,
don't they? Gwendolen, We've got we've got two more questions.
Remember your say matters? What do you say matters? Yes,
well you're you're suspenders don't look so good. I don't,
(18:16):
But if you did, I don't. Maybe we could turn
the tables here. What about Carolina? What would you say
to her? Would you point out her dumb glasses? No?
I like her glasses. They were expensive. So I'm got
to compose myself here, let's have some water. Okay, I'm fine.
(18:50):
I think we've covered a lot of ground here to day, Caroline,
do you have any thing else you'd like to ask?
Winn Um, I just want to say I'm so glad
the progress we made today, and I really think that
if Gwen and run Um can get along and continue
their friendship, then there's hope for all of us. Gwen,
(19:11):
I just want to say this. And I'm an adult man,
and I've heard a lot of things good and bad
said about me being in the media. It's commonplace. But
what you said was probably the most hateful thing I've
ever heard. Okay, yet I'm happy to have gone through it,
so in a weird way, thank you, Thank you, thank
(19:32):
you for being here, thank you for being who you are.
And I hope Jane do you know lays off? Thank you?
I'm sorry, No, it's okay. Hey see that's wonderful. Thank you,
thank you for saying that. And I'm sorry for anything
I said. And I think that's how you can fix bullying.
The two most beautiful words in the English language or
(19:54):
what i'm I'm oh, I'm sorry, sorry, I'm isn't I know? Well,
it's also it's i am. It's a contraction, so it's
three words. Hey, Gwen Carolina totally screwed up. Huh because
she's dumb. Oh, she's not dumb. Okay, No, I was
(20:16):
just you're not dumb. I think we should wrap this
one up, Bron, Gwendolyn Daisy Corraba, thank you for coming by.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule
in fifth grade. You really enlighten us on this discussion
and bullying. Thank you very much, Thank you, thank you.
We'll be right back after this short break. This is
(20:47):
Ron Burgundy with my final faults. Wait, afray to that.
I just got an email from legal. Um, we're not
going to be able to use the girl that UM
is bowling Gwen. We're not We're not able to use
her name, but we said it throughout the whole podcast. Okay,
I'm sorry, it's just the chances are too right, Okay,
(21:09):
I'll just you know what, let me handle that. You want.
I'll cover that. Are you sure? Just make sure that
you don't hear her name ever, because we could get
sued be really bad. Yes, No, you're absolutely right. These
are young children and Sophie Lichtman does not deserve that. Yeah. No,
she doesn't deserve it. She's just a little kid. Okay,
(21:32):
I'll make sure no one knows we're talking about Sophie perfect. Okay, okay,
let me just express my final thoughts. This is wrong Burgundy.
A long long time ago, I wrote, treat others how
you want to treat them, and that's it right? That
(21:55):
was good God, Where did you get that kid? Juvi?
She was real? You know what. Put my my fist
right in the middle of her two front baby teeth.
She was just a kid. She was like ten years old. Boy.
I mean you, you probably won't even think about her
by the time you get Oh no, I'll never forget her.
Okay her, Yes, I'll get my co Stay tuned for
(22:24):
scenes from the next episode of the Ron Burgundy podcast.
On the next Ron Burgundy podcasts, I thought about why
bad things happened to good men m meeting me, I
(22:45):
realized the safest way to prepare against the apocalypse of
the future is talk to a psychic so you can
receive similar to a dolphin. We should take on our
dolphin questions. I was gonna ask you most of my
questions were about dolphins, but let's just let me just
throw those out. What was hogwarts like and how hard
(23:08):
is it to make friends? There? I can safely say
I've never met a Gemini. Not just real quick. There
are no ghosts in this room, right, I don't sense
any in this room. In particular Nick at the controls
he's he's kind of a ghoul. I remember when when
(23:32):
I was horse whispering. At first, I would whisper very delicately,
and then I get frustrated. Like you, listen to me.
If Carolina doesn't do her job, how hard would it
be for me to put a hex on her? I know,
as a psychic, you've been alive forever? Um? What was
the Civil War? Like, Laura, let's see how good you are?
(23:52):
Can you tell who passed gas between the two of us?
Using your psychic ability? Draw the curtains, light some black candles,
bringing the psychic Everyone shut up. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
is a production of I Heart Radio podcast Network and
Funnier Die. I'm Ron Burgundy. I'm the host, writer and
(24:15):
executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer and producer.
The show was also produced by Whitney Hodeck, Jack O'Brien,
Miles Gray, and Nick Stuff. Our executive producer is Mike
farre Our consulting producer is Andrew Steve. Our associate producer
is Anna Hosnier. Our writer is Jake Vocalis. Our production
(24:35):
supervisor is Colin McDougall. This episode was engineered, mixed, and
edited by Nick Stump. See you next Thursday on The
Ron Burgundy podcast
Rombergny podcast. Romburguny Podcast. Oh yeah, I can feel that
one deep in my loins. I mean, that's your song
(00:26):
for your aunt. Though it is is an emotional and
funky song. It's like most funk songs. It tugs at
your heartstrings. I don't know if I feel that way,
but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.
That's all I need, is the benefit of the doubt,
which sounds like a funk song to me. All right,
you're listening to Ron Burgundy. This is the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
(00:50):
Last night, I was walking along a dark alley whistling
a lonesome tune when I came upon a pack of
wild dogs. I froze and fear stripped nude, as you
need to let them know you are naked as they
are to establish trust. Well, that didn't work, and they
ran after me, nipping at my achilles heel like it
(01:13):
was a chicken bone. Now, not a lot of you
know what my achilles heel is, but it is my
achilles heel, it literally is. I really don't like it
when it gets hurt. It's one of the more sensitive
areas of my body. The only thing that got them
off me those wild pack of dogs was pure cruel bullying.
(01:39):
What did you say to them? Well, I they called
the MANGI I called them ununified, undignified, just mean horrible
things that I knew wild dogs would would really recoil from.
And you think they got it, well, I think they
heard a loud noise is and it scared them away. Yeah,
(02:02):
but my point is bullying is not cool. But hole right,
I'm not talking to you butth hole, cheap bastard, nancy boy,
loose woman sound familiar, m Oh, I've um no, I've
(02:29):
never been called a butth hole or lose. No, I'm
saying hypothetically, sure, these are examples of something a bully
might say. And it was those types of words that
protected me from the strays last night and what got
me to the pay phone where I called the authorities, which,
by the way, when you call the authorities and tell
(02:51):
them that you've been attacked by a pack of stray dogs,
they don't really respond to it. Yeah, no, I don't know. Um,
I I know almost zero people that's happened too. But
still it's a public service. They're supposed to protect the people,
the text paying public. But they said there's nothing we
(03:12):
can do, and we don't believe you. I have a question,
did you put quarters in the pay phone? Well? I
didn't have any change, So what I did was in
the coin slot. I folded up very tightly a one
dollar bill and I jammed it into the slot. Okay,
I see the problem. Yeah, you heard nothing on the
(03:33):
other lie, No, I heard. I heard the operator. Oh okay, great,
b b By Yeah, b By. That's not a robot
or anything. That's just a please hang up that lady.
I heard that lady. Yeah, And I thought, well, i've
I'm here to have been attacked by stray dogs. Yeah, no,
that's usually like pay phones are hard to find these days.
(03:56):
Have you noticed absolutely how long did you go trying? Finally, Well,
there was one right there in that dark alley, So
on one hand I was lucky. On the other hand,
I had no coins and no one responded anyway. Three
hours later, when I was wrapped in a blanket in
the back of an ambulance, and after speaking to the
(04:18):
cops and the E M T. S. I realized I
don't bully often, but when I do, I can be rough.
And what were your injuries major lacerations and what they
referred to as slabber marks. I was coated in a
sheen of slabber, which they said, there are a lot
(04:39):
of germs. Even though then again, it's so confusing because
I read another story that said the inside of a
dog's mouth is one of the cleanest areas there is. Yeah,
I've read that story. So you just you know, like
have to take a bath. They hosed me down in
a solution. Okay, anyway back to bullying now. I don't
(05:02):
I don't want to say anything partisan, but I for
one am starting to take an anti bullying stance. Powerful.
I thank you. I went back and forth, but I
finally realized that maybe just because they're usually the funnest,
coolest kids in class, it doesn't make them the good guys. Right, No,
(05:24):
definitely not. I usually thought they were pretty mean. Actually,
I don't know. I'm thinking back to a good Palamine
bard Ox Nordeah, gosh, he was great with the bullying,
he was great with the put downs, and I wanted
to be like him. Yeah, I don't know. I got
a swirly once from some um girls that went to
(05:45):
a sorority, and it was really painful. It was really humiliating.
What's a swirly? Is that an ice cream treat? No?
They put my head in a toilet? Yes, a swirly,
Yeah that was I didn't think that was funny at all. Yeah,
we um. That was a regular baptismal for me from
(06:07):
bart But boy, I looked up to him in a
weird way. I looked up to him. I can't even
think about it. It's so painful. All right, let's don't.
But when you're least expecting a Carolina, I'm going to
give you a swirly. No, I please don't. For old
time's sake, I don't think it's okay. You won't know
it's about to happen, and you laugh afterwards. I don't
(06:29):
think I will. And it's not bullying. Just so you know,
it's a fun joke. I'm not doing it because I'm
a bully. I'm just like Caroline is going to get
a kick out of this swirly time. That was a
toilet flushing. By the way, all right, Carolina now joining
us is an expert on bullying. Ah, and who could
(06:50):
be a better expert than a lame young child Gwendoline
Daisy carrab Please introduce yourself to the listener is and
and speak up. Hello. My name is Gondalin Daisy Corraba.
And do you go by the full name? Should I
call you Gwendoline Daisy Carraba? Just call me Gwen, call
(07:13):
you Gwen great, Gwenn. Thank you for joining us. Have
you met Carolina? Hi? Gwen? Hi Carolina. Um, so let
me ask you this, Gwen. What great are you in?
I'm in fifth grade? Fifth grade? So that means you're what, no,
not at all? Older? No younger? Okay, okay, fourteen? He
(07:36):
already guess that. Geez, help me, Carolina. So I would
say your life perserver here? You're about ten? Yeah, okay, ten,
fifth grade? Ten? It's I was a long time since
I was in fifth grade, so I just forgot looks
like it too, Okay, relax, relax. So, Gwen, let me
(08:00):
ask you this. Who's Who's How do I phrase that?
I want to put this elegantly because I'm a journalist. Um,
when you think of the schoolyard or your friends, Who's
who's the biggest act toll? You know? Oh, Jane Doe,
she sounds like a piece of work. What what is
it that Jane Done does exactly? She calls my dance
(08:23):
competitions a little Oh my god, Jane done even dance.
She goes to a valet in school. Oh so she's
pretty good. Oh okay, And what do you say to
Jane Doe when she attacks you in such a way? Stop?
This is not nice. It sounds like what you said
(08:46):
to those dogs. That's what I tried. I was attacked
by a pack of wild dogs the other night, and
I I told them to stop. It's not nice. Dogs
don't understand English a least not. No, he he'll roll
over and drive the car. No, well my dog does.
(09:07):
I'm surprised you're not in a car accident by now.
Well we haven't been, so stop bullying me. Stop bowling, Baxter.
Let me ask you this. Do people come up to you,
meaning children, your fellow classmates? Do they do? They do
mean things like come up and clink you on the
nose or snap your suspenders. But I don't wear suspenders.
(09:29):
Do do many of the children wear suspenders nowadays? No? Not,
but they're coming back right? No? Okay, okay, strike that, Carolina.
You gotta give me better questions here. Sorry, these are
some old questions. Um, are you familiar with Milannia Trump.
She's the wife of the president. Um, I don't like her?
(09:51):
Oh okay, well, um, interesting, interesting, that is a hot take.
Hot take from Gwen. Well, you're not holding back, are you? Do?
You feel like the president is a bit of a
bully sometimes? And here's the irony is that Milannia Trump
(10:13):
she has a social media campaign fighting against bullying. Now
do you think her stance has helped the situation with
bullying at all? No? No, not at all? Not effective.
Jane Doe hasn't heard. Jane Doe younger than me, she's
in fourth grade. What is her deal? Then? Why does
(10:34):
she think she can talk smack? Do you? I don't know.
So basically it sounds like Jane Done, Milannia need to
hang out. You know. She kind of looks like you,
Jane Done. Ugly. Um, I mean, let's move on. I'm
going to ignore that, Gwen. Let me let me ask
this question. I back in the seventies for the ABC network,
(10:57):
I recorded a public service announcement on bullying. Have you
ever heard it? Now? But my mom works? Oh great?
Does she enjoy it? Then she's probably heard of this?
Would you like to hear? Let's let's play let's play
my ps A. Listen to this dummy four eyes, jolly
(11:20):
green giant. How's the air up there? Liar swamp boy,
trailer trash humpback of your notary mom, geek jack wagon,
poor kid. Hey, when you put on a red shirt
and lean out a window, people think you're the kool
aid man face, metal mouth, cupcake face, loser. This is
(11:47):
ron Burgundy. Those were some tough words. These words don't
feel so good. Do they remember what you say matters?
I actually like cupcake face. That sounds good. It does
sound delicious. Do you ever at times? I'm getting off
(12:11):
topic here? Do you ever dream that your face is
different foods? Well? Last night I had dreamed that my
brother was a Hamburger and I hate him. Was he delicious? No?
Hamburger boy, hamburger hey, hamburger boy. Take that you're in
my belly and now I'm about to poop you out.
(12:39):
We are enjoying each other's company. I'm not oh, especially
you Gwendolin. Please, this is anti. But did you feel
like my p s A was effective? It wasn't the most.
Let's move Let's move on. Let's move on. Um so
(13:00):
look back to Jane Doe. Do you think you might
be bringing some of her bullying onto yourself? Well, really
think about it. Yeah, okay, yeah, I think that's one
of the things about bullying that's fascinating. Of Course, it
(13:22):
doesn't feel good, but I think at the end of
the day, we have to look in the mirror sometimes,
ron Is, I'm just gonna say hard on me, and
I still keep showing up to work. You know, even
though my mom, my therapist, my friends, my boyfriend, my
loved ones um, people online say I should just get
a new job. So I don't know, maybe he should. Well,
(13:44):
you know, I'm right. Well, you know, it's hard out there.
When you start working, it's much harder. They say it's
a good economy, it's not really. Just so you know, Gwen,
let me ask you this. David Edelstein, an art critic
for New York Magazine, had this to say about Christian
(14:07):
Marclays The Clock. Beyond the coincidental temporal associations, I could
discern little connection among the clips. It's just a gimmick.
I just can't conceive of watching it for longer than
I did, let alone nineteen effing hours. Do you think
he's a bully? And if so, should we destroy him? Well,
(14:30):
if he doesn't repeatedly, he would be a bully by definition.
But yeah, but if she just does it once, then
that's not a bully. It's just a one time. It's
just one time where he's kind of mean. They could
actually make up and become friends. That's really that's that
really is a lot of foresight there. How are you
(14:50):
familiar with Jadakiss? No singer s he's not really a
friend of mine, but more of an acquaintance. Um. And
he had this to say about fifty Cent, another person
I know through music circles, And this is what he said.
He said, Yeah, you've got a felony, but you ain't
a predicate, never the King of New York. You live
(15:13):
in Connecticut. First of all, Connecticut is lovely, so I
don't I don't see an insult. Yeah, my my family
lives some of my family lives in Connecticut. Okay, so
you're familiar with it, and it's it's a perfectly great place,
so you can't really not Connecticut. And New York is
nice too. But so how should I How should I
handle the beef between both of them? As since I'm
(15:36):
friends with both, this is something that Ron has been
stressed out about for a while. Should I get him
in a room? You know what I should do? And Gwen,
with your permission, maybe I do kind of a Oh
what's the movie with the girls Lindsey Lohan Parent Parent
trappl I love it to remember the part? Yeah, Natasha
(15:57):
Richardson Dennis Quaid one and then there's like a new one.
There was the old one with Hailey Mills. I like
the old one better, but the new one still pretty good. Yeah,
they're both really good. I'm wondering if I pull a
parent trap and I tell Jada Kiss that why don't
you come to Connecticut to my friend Gwen's family's house?
(16:20):
And then I tell Fitty, like, you want to come
down to Connecticut just you and me? Bro time? And
then Jadakiss walks in the room, fifty cent walks in
the room. Jane Doe, we just work it out. I
don't like Jane Doe, all right, but still, can I
use your family's house in Connecticut? No? No, I don't
(16:40):
think they would like a crazy person coming through their house.
What invited me here? But crazy person being just a
fond term of endearment. No crazy person oh, you literally
think I'm crazy. Well, we have like a few more questions,
A few more questions here. Uh, Gwen, if if you
(17:01):
were a bully to me, what would you say? I
just I just want to be prepared. Um the seventies
called they want their clothes back. Okay, you know, Okay,
Hey wait wait one second, Ron, Hey open, come on, Ron,
(17:30):
It's okay, it's okay. What did she keep laughing like that?
I think that she keeps? Okay, Gwen, Ron, we can
get through this trying to examine boying not have perpetuated.
We've got this. You want to put this one in
(17:52):
the bag, and you want to go My clothes look fine,
don't they? Gwendolen, We've got we've got two more questions.
Remember your say matters? What do you say matters? Yes,
well you're you're suspenders don't look so good. I don't,
(18:16):
But if you did, I don't. Maybe we could turn
the tables here. What about Carolina? What would you say
to her? Would you point out her dumb glasses? No?
I like her glasses. They were expensive. So I'm got
to compose myself here, let's have some water. Okay, I'm fine.
(18:50):
I think we've covered a lot of ground here to day, Caroline,
do you have any thing else you'd like to ask?
Winn Um, I just want to say I'm so glad
the progress we made today, and I really think that
if Gwen and run Um can get along and continue
their friendship, then there's hope for all of us. Gwen,
(19:11):
I just want to say this. And I'm an adult man,
and I've heard a lot of things good and bad
said about me being in the media. It's commonplace. But
what you said was probably the most hateful thing I've
ever heard. Okay, yet I'm happy to have gone through it,
so in a weird way, thank you, Thank you, thank
(19:32):
you for being here, thank you for being who you are.
And I hope Jane do you know lays off? Thank you?
I'm sorry, No, it's okay. Hey see that's wonderful. Thank you,
thank you for saying that. And I'm sorry for anything
I said. And I think that's how you can fix bullying.
The two most beautiful words in the English language or
(19:54):
what i'm I'm oh, I'm sorry, sorry, I'm isn't I know? Well,
it's also it's i am. It's a contraction, so it's
three words. Hey, Gwen Carolina totally screwed up. Huh because
she's dumb. Oh, she's not dumb. Okay, No, I was
(20:16):
just you're not dumb. I think we should wrap this
one up, Bron, Gwendolyn Daisy Corraba, thank you for coming by.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule
in fifth grade. You really enlighten us on this discussion
and bullying. Thank you very much, Thank you, thank you.
We'll be right back after this short break. This is
(20:47):
Ron Burgundy with my final faults. Wait, afray to that.
I just got an email from legal. Um, we're not
going to be able to use the girl that UM
is bowling Gwen. We're not We're not able to use
her name, but we said it throughout the whole podcast. Okay,
I'm sorry, it's just the chances are too right, Okay,
(21:09):
I'll just you know what, let me handle that. You want.
I'll cover that. Are you sure? Just make sure that
you don't hear her name ever, because we could get
sued be really bad. Yes, No, you're absolutely right. These
are young children and Sophie Lichtman does not deserve that. Yeah. No,
she doesn't deserve it. She's just a little kid. Okay,
(21:32):
I'll make sure no one knows we're talking about Sophie perfect. Okay, okay,
let me just express my final thoughts. This is wrong Burgundy.
A long long time ago, I wrote, treat others how
you want to treat them, and that's it right? That
(21:55):
was good God, Where did you get that kid? Juvi?
She was real? You know what. Put my my fist
right in the middle of her two front baby teeth.
She was just a kid. She was like ten years old. Boy.
I mean you, you probably won't even think about her
by the time you get Oh no, I'll never forget her.
Okay her, Yes, I'll get my co Stay tuned for
(22:24):
scenes from the next episode of the Ron Burgundy podcast.
On the next Ron Burgundy podcasts, I thought about why
bad things happened to good men m meeting me, I
(22:45):
realized the safest way to prepare against the apocalypse of
the future is talk to a psychic so you can
receive similar to a dolphin. We should take on our
dolphin questions. I was gonna ask you most of my
questions were about dolphins, but let's just let me just
throw those out. What was hogwarts like and how hard
(23:08):
is it to make friends? There? I can safely say
I've never met a Gemini. Not just real quick. There
are no ghosts in this room, right, I don't sense
any in this room. In particular Nick at the controls
he's he's kind of a ghoul. I remember when when
(23:32):
I was horse whispering. At first, I would whisper very delicately,
and then I get frustrated. Like you, listen to me.
If Carolina doesn't do her job, how hard would it
be for me to put a hex on her? I know,
as a psychic, you've been alive forever? Um? What was
the Civil War? Like, Laura, let's see how good you are?
(23:52):
Can you tell who passed gas between the two of us?
Using your psychic ability? Draw the curtains, light some black candles,
bringing the psychic Everyone shut up. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
is a production of I Heart Radio podcast Network and
Funnier Die. I'm Ron Burgundy. I'm the host, writer and
(24:15):
executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer and producer.
The show was also produced by Whitney Hodeck, Jack O'Brien,
Miles Gray, and Nick Stuff. Our executive producer is Mike
farre Our consulting producer is Andrew Steve. Our associate producer
is Anna Hosnier. Our writer is Jake Vocalis. Our production
(24:35):
supervisor is Colin McDougall. This episode was engineered, mixed, and
edited by Nick Stump. See you next Thursday on The
Ron Burgundy podcast
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.