May 20, 2024 • 41 mins
The person who helps a couple say “I do” on their wedding day is an important role, but Jared has a harsh truth about how far down the officiant list Dean was in his wedding to Ashley.
Jared shares his fears as the due date for baby #2 is fast approaching.
And Dean gets vulnerable and emotional around Mother’s Day, but Caelynn and Jared are here to listen and reassure him.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Suckers Bell. I'm Dean Bell and I'm Jared
han An.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello everybody, and welcome to an all new episode of Suckers.
I am a polar Bear. Today we are joined by
my lovely wife here in studio in Colorado and Jared
from the back alleys of Audrey's out there in the island.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
It looks like back alley, back office. Just pretty depressing.
Look in here.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
What's going on? Jared? Why did we get you in
the in the the work office today? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
So an employee had to call out. She's fine, she
was in an accident. She's okay though. Most support thing,
but couldn't work. So I came into work today and
then here I am recording the podcast, recording Suckers live
from Audrey's.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Nice. Well, we're happy to have you. We're glad you
could join us despite all things being as they are.
So everything's good with her. You're saying, that's good.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Everything's good, you know. Ashley and I went to Journer
last night. I at Kapital Grill and Providence is for
some ever went to the Capitol Grill there. It was
very nice, very expensive. I got a bone in rabbi.
That was seventy four dollars just just for the rabbi.
It was pretty pretty good. Then you got to buy
the sides, but it was nice. We had a gift
card it was from Others Days, so we went out.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It was sidet the bar. It was really nice time.
What I don't understand about that, And don't get me wrong,
I do that often too. Like if Kaylin and I
go out and have a nice dinner, typically what I'll
order is the most expensive steak that I can get,
which is around that range of seventy five dollars. Yeah,
what I don't get about it is sometimes it's good,
sometimes it's not as good as it should be for
the price that you're paying for it. I'll just pay
twenty five dollars at the supermarket, grill it myself for
(01:41):
in ten minutes, and it's going to be perfect every
single time, as good. Yeah, as good, if not better,
because I have like the appreciation of knowing that I
cooked it for myself. That's but like I said, I
still order the steak whenever we have like a nice
dinner together. So I mean, I'm not faulting anyone for
doing that. Ice is the prices just get out of control. Sometimes.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's also like ordering a salad that costs thirty dollars,
it's like twenty dollars and then you had ten dollars
for chicken. Yeah, you could make a salad at home
for like five.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Some menu items there just don't seem proportionally priced. Like
I'll get a cheeseburger for twelve dollars because that's probably
about what I would spend if I went to the
store and got all the ingredients for it. French fries.
I'm not making French fries at home, so I'll gladly
buy some at the restaurant. But when I can capably
make something at home, like a steak, and like I said,
I still do it. So I'm kind of wait, you
can't make a cheeseburger. I can't. No, I guess I could.
(02:33):
I guess I could. But like you know, sometimes they've
got nice buns. I don't really know where the lettuce
is in the grocery store, So what am I going
to do about that? Yeah? Be healthy like that. Sometimes
they have like a kool aoli that they spread on it.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
All of these things you can make.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah, but what did Ashley order? I don't remember. Is
she like eating a bunch of crazy stuff because she's pregnant. No,
not crazy, so.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
She can't eat anything because she's pregnant. Like I had
shrimp cocktails. She couldn't have that. Uh, I guess. Like
she had a caesar salad with no anchovies. I remember that,
but salad, just the salad, which is very good. I
don't like anchovies anyway. I don't think she does either.
But I got the steak, I got the robot. If
you order caesar salad with no caesar, does it come
(03:16):
with dressing? Anchovies? Does it come with dressing?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Part of this caesar dressing, Yeah, most of the time.
But a lot of people ask if you want anchovies
on top of the salad?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Oh no, no, no, no, no no. In France it's
they do that. Actually, Scotti is that restaurant or that
sandwich place. They used to have chicken caesar salad specials
for lunch in high school and they always put it
on and I'd be like, what are these little fish
doing on my salad? I don't want these here. Very gross. Yeah,
but I love caesar dressing. It's one of my favorite things.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, it's it's good. It's very fattening. It's wonderful. So
you guys went golfing, I saw.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, Klin's making a run for the LPGA. Obviously. She's
actually pretty funny. She mentioned years ago. I'm not going
to put you in last year, don't worry.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
What did I mention?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
She mentioned years ago, she was like, I'd really learn
love how to learn how to play golf. I'd be like,
oh great, So I got her set a club. She's
a lefty, so they're a little harder to find. We
went to the driving range once and she was smacking
the ball, crushing it. She was doing really well. And
then I don't really think she ever thought about those
golf clubs ever again. And then yesterday when we were
when we went to the golf course, we like had
(04:25):
to do something for a garment who we're working with
on Instagram, and we're like, let's get some golf stuff.
All get my golf stuff. We can bring our clubs.
You can hit the ball a couple of times, and
every time we would go to hit the shot like
a new shot, like after she hits, she would go
hit a new shot and we'd have to unwrap the
club because the club had never been used before.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So yeah, even the cart guys we were they're like, well,
put these in your trunk. They're like, oh my god,
these have never been touched.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So then then I was like, we're just gonna use
the seven iron the entire way in which probably is
the best club for you right now anyways.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
But yeah, it was fun. But I've heard to never
let your husband teach you golf.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I've heard or teach your wife how to play golf.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yeah, so I don't really want to learn from you
for that reason.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
But you don't really want to learn from anyone. I
don't just don't think you want to learn.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, I do. I just need perfect conditions. I need
it to be perfectly sunny, perfectly warm. I want a
glassy rose.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You had all those things when we were there. It
was cloudy, yeah, it was seventy degrees out.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It was cloudy.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, and your husband was teaching you.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I guess.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
It's one of those things too, where it's like, I'd
love it if you learn how to play golf. We
could play occasionally together, but you know, Jared could probably
a test this too. One of the biggest appeals at
golf is like you're there with your boys. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Also, I couldn't even last nine rounds. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
That was another thing too. We were on this, just
finished the second hole, going to the third hole. She's like,
so what, we only have like one or two more
holes left? And I was like, no, yeah, there's nine holes, right,
and she goes, yeah, that was wasn't that seven or eight?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
That long?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That was too. We have seven more holes to go. Wow,
I think it's a lost cause.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
But no, I want to take lessons and then see
I've seen Aaron Limb, she's a host for E News.
She's been getting really into golf lessons and she was
just golfing, I think, with Bradley Cooper and like some
big A list guys and she was impressing them all.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
So Bradley Cooper Golf's Calen starts to.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Go, oh, no, no, but she just looks really good
doing it. So I want to look good doing it.
I want to look like I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
You look good until you start swinging, hey, and then
when you're done swinging, you start looking good again. You
look good around all the times that you're not hitting,
and you didn'tn't get me wrong. You didn't look bad
a couple of times, but get some lessons in you.
And this is coming from someone too that also looks
like my swing is atrocious too. So every time I
(06:37):
see a video of my swing, I'm like, oh my god,
I have zero athletic ability whatsoever. The fact that I
can even make contact is a miracle.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
M that's enough golf talk for me.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Okay, let's move on to the next thing. Kaylen's ready
to move on.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
What did you guys do for Mother's Day? Jared?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Not much.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I mean, we went to dinner last night Sunday. I worked,
but then I got her flowers, I made her brownies,
I got her card, and then we went on to there.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So pretty low key. Yeah, it was very nice.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
No, I mean, I like baking. I bake here, but
I also bake at home. But I mean I'm talking
about like I made Garret Delly brownie. So it's, you know,
really just mixing the batter with egg, vegetable oil, and
a little butter and then you've got brownies, you know,
pop it in at three seventy five, So pretty simple stuff.
(07:27):
I was going to decorate it, you know, and write
a happy Mother's Day on there with some sort of frosting.
But then I think that ruins the taste of the brownie.
You know, when you put like that red food coloring
or green food coloring on top to write out something,
I think it just doesn't taste good and it ruins
the taste of the brownie. And Ashley agreed, so I
(07:48):
explained that's why I didn't write anything on there, and
she appreciated that.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But it was nice.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
She got to hang out with her mom too. She
was down in Virginia over the weekend. I was there
last week, so she got to spend some time with
her on Mother's Day and her sister, which I know
she loves. And Dawson's been great. He's just been peau Dawson,
super happy, super positive, just like so loving, so outgoing.
You know, he throws his hissy fits, but those are fine.
(08:17):
Majority of the time. He's been awesome. So it's been
It's been very good. I'm dreading the second one coming
and just ruining everything.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I want to go back to the I want to
go back to the brownies real quick. I feel like
those brownies, the ones that you made, are they possibly
have the best shelf life of any baked good in
existence you make, because you know, you get like those
big glass kind of like what you basin things that
you bake them on right and the ends of it
get really nice and crusty and firm, and in middle
(08:46):
parts are so gooey and it's a big tray, so
you can't eat all of it at once, but you
like let it sit out on the counter for a
day or two days or three days, and every time
you go back to those brownies, they taste justice should
on day three than they do fresh out of the
of it. Yeah, do you guys agree with me?
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I don't really know, honestly, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You don't know? You just made some four days ago?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
No, no, no, I made him Monday, Monday? When the hell
did I make them Sunday's day? I had, so Sunday
night I made him. I had one yesterday and it
was still very fresh. So that's two days old, so
we're in a good start. But I feel like two
days old for a brownie is nothing. So I guess
(09:29):
you're right, just for the simple fact that I think
two days old for brownie is nothing which would equote,
you know, which would equal them having a long shelf
life because they got at least another week in there.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I just think those brownies are so I could eat
those brownies for breakfast and dinner every single day. We
kind of killing and I kind of have an issue whenever,
a conflict whenever, because she likes to bake cookies occasionally,
and I'll never say, notice some chocolate chip cookies, So
she'll bake them, ask me if I want some. Obviously
the answer is yes, But she really enjoys her cookies
(09:58):
a little soggy.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, No, No, that cooking in the mountains is different,
and I've told you this, it's you have to there's
like different temperatures and baking requirements. Me and Jess have
talked about this a lot too. And if I cook
them the way that it says it on the package,
they get super super burned. So I undercook them.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
But I thought you did that intentionally the last time
you made the cookies.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
No, I just don't want them to burn, so I
got them under cooked instead.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
So but is it every time you bake cookies now
or do you add like a couple of minutes to
the timing?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Interesting?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Why is baking cookies in the mountains different.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I don't know. I was talking to Jess and Trista
Sutter about this something with the elevation.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Well, yeah, the air is thinner, there's less air molecules
to interact making this up. Yeah, but I feel like
I'm probably close enough to be right.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Well, I would imagine it has something to do with
the elevation.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
There's less air molecules and heat molecules to interact with
the baking ingredients to make it rise as fast.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
But Trista, because before we moved here, Trista and Jess,
we're talking an Trista was like, you have to google
separate mountain instructions and like temperature of in everything.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
When I go backpacking and I eat those like dehydrated meals,
it'll say boil water and put in and let's stand
for twelve minutes. Add five minutes for every five thousand
feet of elevation. You're at camping at thirteen thousand feet,
you'd have to add you know, thirteen minutes essentially to it.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
But I think it cooks faster here. Am I wrong?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
I don't know. Actually, I don't know. It's a work
in progress.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
That's like, yeah, no, I think it's slower because that's
like boiling noodles essentially would be the same thing. But yeah,
now that you mentioned, I'm not really sure exactly why
that is. It's definitely an elevation thing, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
But why do we blame everything on elevation here?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
But that's just because everything can be blamed on elevation here.
But else do we blame on elevation?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Well, my mom was here last weekend and she had
one beer and she's like, whoa, I'm crazy And I
was like, well, it's elevation.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Elevation. Yeah, hey, you were really mean to me today. Elevation.
Why was she meet to elevation? Man, it was just
she's she was so elevated yesterday, so elevating. No, she was.
She's always an angel to me. I'm just saying whenever
you can just use it as an excuse for anything
these days. But yeah, yeah, golf was good. Mother's Day
(12:22):
was good. Kaylen's mom was out here for Mother's Day.
They seemed like they had a great weekend together.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, it was really fun. I was at Pilate's and
then my Ploates friends were like, they're a local restaurant
is doing a Mother's Day floral workshop. So it was
my mom, my grandma, and my grandma's best friend and
we all went and made floral's for floral arrangements. It
was it was really fun, cute, quaint weekend.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. Nice. Also, I feel like we don't get to
see your mom offtit enough, so whenever she's here, it's
great that you guys get to spend some time like
that together.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, she's trying to move to Denver. Hopefully by next
year she'll be a little bit closer to us, which
would be nice because and we all know I hate
for Jay. Yes, so I'm not going back there anytime soon.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Be nice for me too. I would love to have
a mom again. I mean I have one again, but
it'd be nice to have one close. I got dear, Joe,
you got dere. But she's far. She's in Vegas, she's
in Denver. Yeah, she's back and forth. Yeah, still far.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, so we'll see.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
But yeah, that's good that you guys had fun.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, very fun. Just showing him around town. We didn't
go into Aspin at all, but showed him around our
little cute town and they had a blast.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm like, really bad with parents. Like even on your
mom's in town, I just always kind of feel awkward,
like I don't belong, like I'm not allowed to have
a parent what. I don't know, That's just how I feel.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
My mom's obsessive. So Dean met us for Mother's Day
on Sunday and she was so she was like, wait,
Dean's coming. She got so excited and so happy anytime
she gets to see it, she's just so joyful.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Just feel weird. I feel like a burden. Even like
yesterday I was at the gym and I saw Austin's mom, who,
like I lived with them for a summer when I
was in high school. And I'm like, I'm like, okay,
Like how do I stop? How do I end this conversation?
Like I'm I'm great, like happy to see you. But
I just always feel like I need to like escape
whenever I'm around parents.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
No, it's always awkward saying hi to someone at the
gym too, yeah, because you have to like wave them down.
They have the EarPods in. We're all working out, we
don't feel even though we're working out, we feel terrible
about ourselves because we're working out. It's like I want
to I don't want to talk to anybody. I want
to get in, I want to get out. I don't
want to be here. You don't want to be here.
It's great seeing you. I don't want to talk to you.
I don't want to delay this anymore. Let's just move
(14:24):
on with our lives.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
That's true. That's true.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, it seems like everyone goes to our gym. We
see we run into everyone from town at our gym. Well,
I run into your friends, your golf buddies, our realtor,
Austin's mom, Austin's dad.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
You've seen Elson's dad there?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
No, but Boston told me his dad is there. It's
a small town we live in.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
It was pretty funny. I saw Austin's mom at the gym,
and then I left the gym and went to Starbucks.
And while I was in line at Starbucks, I was
behind Austin's dad.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
It's so crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And then I went to the golf course just to
hit a bucket of balls, and Austin was at.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
The Really, yeah, it is. It's so crazy how small
this town is. Because I get my nails done and
the person who owns the nail salon it's also a
hair Salon turns out to be the owner of one
of the houses we were under contract with. And who else. Oh,
I went to lunch yesterday with another girl we were
(15:19):
under contract with her house, and she's like, yeah, that
was my house, Olivia. And then also was at lunch
with a girl whose brother owned the wedding venue we
got married at, very small.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Small town. So you gotta you can't embarrass yourself too
much because.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Can't blame anything on elevation.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah. Well, it's just like you know, in La, if
you embarrass yourself, I mean, you're not really embarrassing yourself
all that often. But like me, in my personal experience,
if I do something embarrassing in La at a bar,
I'd be like, oh, that was really embarrassing. Well, I'm
never going to see any of those people ever again.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Move on to a new friend group.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah well yeah, and even like you know, if you're
with your friend group, they'll like laugh at you, but
like the strangers probably think it's really weird.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Here, it's like you probably are going to run to
that person very frequently if you do something embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
It's crazy small, but I like it, I asked.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Kaylen Eilther night. What her favorite things about living in
Colorado are And would you say fresh air?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh, I actually can't remember fresh air. I like how
nice people are. It just makes me so happy to
have such a great community of people.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Like give us an example.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Well, I went to the dandelion festival and everyone's just
so proud to live here. And Dina telling me so
that we have a dandelion festival every year, which is
when they stop spraying pesticides. So now it's a celebration.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, those are the only thing to celebrate anything these days.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yeah, it's just cute.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
This is the day we stopped spraying pesticides. Let's celebrate
a big day.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, I don't know. It's yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
And the weather's starting to get nice out here too,
like it's been even though you guys had up blizzard
last week. Oh week, Yeah, we had a blozer last
week and now it's getting nice again, which is good.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Denver's so weird Colorado. Excuse me, Colorado is so weird
with weather. One day it's well, Denver's definitely weird too,
but one day it's snowing, and then at least here
there's some sort of progression there It's just like I
feel like thirty and snowy one day, and the next
day it's seventy and sunny, and then it stays seventy
(17:26):
and sunny. But then you'll have a thirty degree day
with snow there. That's why elevation keeps you on your toes. Yeah,
although it's tricky because I want to, like pluy, I
want to turn her outside water on, but I don't
want to turn it on because then, like what if
it freezes one night?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah. Well, I had lunch with the girls yesterday and
they told me it went through mid June. Last year.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
The snow last year was an exceptionally snowy spring. Though,
take it from someone that was climbing mountains in the spring.
It was very very snowy out there. This one actually
isn't so bad. But I do want to Yeah, there's yeah,
it doesn't. We want to climb some mountains and I
can't climb in center. I can't climb it. Well, I
was like, ah, no one cares about that, but I'll
say anyways, I do want to start cimbing some mountains,
but I can't climb any probably until July.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
What up, bummer?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
What am I supposed to do until July. I just
play golf every day. Fine, I guess twist my own. Yeah,
oh god, so's terrible. I'm actually going on a golf
trip this weekend with Ben and Wells.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So he's been looking forward to this since before Christmas.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, we've had playing probably since like August.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Where are you guys going?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
We're going to Abandon Dunes in Oregon.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Oh no idea?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah. Well so it is like the pre well not
the but like it is an incredible golf destination. Impossible
to get reservations. The fact that we even have them
as crazy to me. You have to, like you have
to book it out a year in advance. That's why
I've been so excited about it for so long.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
So you guys only playing one round or are you
playing multiple?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Now we're there for two full days. We're playing two
rounds each day. You have to walk, no carts allowed, U.
Ben and Wells obviously are really good, and Wells's brother
is going to be there. He's really good. So I've
been trying to play a lot of golf to like
sort of be able to compete with them, and it's
not really going super well.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
But it was funny because Brett bought the tickets and
then he called Dean and he's like, hey, are you
free these dates? I'm gonna give this to Wells for Christmas.
And then Dean gets a call from Wells on Christmas
and he's like, hey, man, do you want to come
to Banda Dunes? And he's like, I was invited back
in August, but.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Sure, yeah, yeah. I think I might blew that one
a little bit, Like I think Bred didn't give me
any like information on whether I should be like excited
about the invite or shit, Like you know what I mean,
maybe you should have been like, hey, by the way,
he's gonna probably call you and invite you, and act
like I haven't already invited he invites you, Yeah, yeah,
exactly exactly. But yeah, so that'll be fun. But you know,
(19:46):
no one really cares about golf here, I guess, so.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
I think it'll be a great weekend for you. I
wish Jess wasn't dog sitting because then we could hang.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But I thought your friend's coming up into town.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
She is marrying someone, so no, I'll just be home
alone all weekend.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
What do you mean she's marrying someone?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Is marrying someone she is like the officiant.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
MM, very cool. Yeah. If you were to ask to
officiate a wedding, would you do it? No, Oh, you
would say yes.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I I just don't love public speaking.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
You would do it, though, you would say yes.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I like the dual thing, like maybe if me and
Dean did it together.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
And then you chirp in for and then I just
a moment, and then afterwards everyone's like, Kaylen did such
a great job up there, and no one even acknowledges anything. Gosh,
marriage is just the best. Jared, would you have you
ever officiated a wedding?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I have not. I've only given I've gave a speech
at my buddy's wedding in Mexico.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Four years ago.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
That's crazy those twenty twenty was four years ago, and
then I just recently gave a speech at next wedding.
But I've never officiated, and I don't think I will
ever officiate. I can't think of anybody who'd asked me
that I'm close enough that's.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Not didn't Ben do that at a fans wedding or
something like that. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I mean, I'd be honored, But at the same time,
it's like I don't know these people. Ye, so how
can I like give a great It would just be
because I was on TV, which I get is.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Also pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Like if Rob Thomas was like, Hey, I want to
officiate your wedding and be like, yeah, man, that'd be
the coolest thing. Ever, you don't know anything about me,
but I know so much about you. But at the
same time, like, how good could it be? Because like,
I don't if I officiated a wedding for a fan,
even though a fan of the show, not a fan
of us, but like, it would just be I wouldn't
be able to do a good job.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I remember what it was. We were in a pebble
beach in February and Chris Harrison was asked by a
fan to officiate their wedding and he said yes. I
was like, that's the coolest thing. Everson just reached out
to Chris Harrison asking I think, I'm like ninety percent
sure the story is true. Some random fan reached out
asking Chris and Lauren to be there at their wedding
and for Chris to officiate, and he said yes. He's like, yeah,
(22:04):
it's next week. I'm super nervous. I'm like, wow, you
don't even know these people, like you could mess up
and that nothing will affect you negatively. And he's like, yeah,
but I just really want to do a good job.
Give Chris some props for that. Yeah, he's a bonafide celebrity.
Oh yeah, we're very we're fake celebrities. Could you imagine
like growing up watching The Bachelor, being a huge fan
(22:24):
of the show, and then getting married and just randomly
reaching out to Chris Harrison to officiate your wedding and
him saying, yes, that's pretty cool. It's honestly such a
cool Probably was such a cool experience for that person.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I don't think he'd say us for us, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
He probably would have. Yeah, maybe I don't know who
officiated your wedding. Again, it wasn't it your It was
a lot. It was a lot, that's right, Yeah, it
was a lot. I like, I like when people have
like a personal friend officiate, Like we just knew he
would do the best job. You know, he was there.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
In terms of our story from real for the whole thing,
you know, even if he was, you know, being a
dick on the show sometimes, like he was still very
much involved in there. And then you know, we'd always
see him after the show and get dinner with him together,
and so yeah, he was just very integral and you know,
important to us. And we also were like because initially
(23:21):
it was gonna be Tanner, Tanner was going to marry us,
and then even Tanner was like, you should have a
lot officiate you guys, cause he's going to do such
a better job than me and you're not hurting my feelings.
And we're like, all right, we'll go with Alan.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
But also it wasn't Tanner like about to have a
baby Jade and Tanner.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Yeah, and they didn'tven come to the wedding, so it
worked out. And then Jade got pregnant and he was like,
well it actually worked out where I you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Know if I'm gonna be able to go.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
So and Alan was super funny a line texted us
kind of a lot and was like, just tell me
what I need to do, Like tell me if I
need to break Tanner's leg, I will in order to
officiate this wedding. So it was cool that Alan wanted
you so badly, which made us also want Alan to
officiate it.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Such a sweet, sweet man.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
How far down that list was I for officiating? Who
I mean? You were pretty low? Hellow fight? I guess, well,
here's so where's Nick and where's Dean?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
No, I don't need to be compared to Nick.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I'm just curious where I was A great question. Nick
was probably pretty close to the top.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
That's fine. I'm not trying to I'm trying to have
any beef with Nick. I'm just curious how many people
would have had to gotten sick for me to step
up and officiate the wedding fifty I don't know.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
No, no, no, no, I don't think it would have
been that far down, because you know, we would obviously
looked at our wedding party next or family members who
would have and.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I would have dad if you got to any of
the clergy in the area, and if like they weren't available,
then you could go.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
No, I think you would have been.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I think you would have been pretty up there.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
It would have been like you would have been.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I think you probably would have been top five, top ten, Oh,
top ten. I think top five was generous. I'll be
top ten for sure.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Well, because I was trying to think, I was like
Nick would probably be up there, just because he would
do a very good job.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
But honestly, like who else would marry us?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I have no idea, Like I wouldn't want my parents
to do it or were parents, And then like a
lot of my friends wouldn't want to do it. You
know a lot of the guys that are not applauded
to the franchise, like by Buddy Kenny or Chad or
Paul or Eric.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
There's no shot.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
So it really would have came down Ben Ben would
have been up there.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Ben Ben would have been up there. That would have
been right behind a lawn probably.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, Ben Ben might have been number three on that list,
behind Tanner and a lawn. So then you got Ben
Nick is probably up there. But dude, you would have
been out there too, because we would have been like,
all right, who's gonna do a good job? And who
knows us? And you you hit both that criteria.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I'll take it. I remember I have given what like
one speech at a wedding at my brother's and I
kind of but definitely didn't write anything down. I just
kind of like hearing my talking points, I thought I
was hilarious. I don't think I got a single laugh
the entire time.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I think you did. Yes, he did.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
No, I don't remember. I just remember. I remember.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
It was like kind of an odd crowd.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
No they I mean they're all my brother's friends.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Well some of them just like weren't laughing at anything.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
They were like, very stiff laugh.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Come on, I'm pouring my heart out up here. Give
me a couple laughs.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It was a stiff night.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Before I went up to give my speech at Nick's wedding,
I was with Joe and Ben and I was like, listen,
you guys laugh and you laugh hard, because if you
start laughing, everybody else will start laughing. So I told
him the first line, you know where I talk about Nick,
me and the pain in the ass, And I was like,
when I hit that note, I better hear both of
(26:48):
you loud, Like, this is not this is no time
for jokes. This is not mess around time. Okay, this
is friend time. I need you there, I need you laughing.
This has to happen.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
They laughed. I couldn't hear it, though. Definitely helps to
have some plants in the audience. I think like I
was making some good jokes at that wedding, and Kayln
was just silent as a bug I was laughing right,
hagging me out to drive.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Me and Avery were both sitting next to each other
laugh and so hard.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I guess you were kind of like on the away
from the crowd.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
You were in the crowd. Yeah, that's fair. I used
to have if you're a public speaking But then I
just kind of stopped caring so much, I think, and I.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Still made that you went on TV.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I honestly think that was a big part of it. Yeah,
that definitely, I can see why. That definitely helped, But
there's probably more to it than that. I just remember
I think I probably talked about this on this podcast before,
but like in college, when you're giving a presentation in
class and you're so nervous for it, and then like
you're sitting there waiting for your turn when all the
other presenters are going and like you're not even paying
a lick of attention to it. So I was My
(27:48):
concept of thinking was always like, if I'm not paying
attention to them, they're not paying attention to me, why
would I be nervous about saying something that no one's
even paying attention to. I'll just say whatever and take
the seat and move on. With my life, you know, agree,
But yeah, being on TV has definitely helped kind of,
but not for you. It sounds like Kaitlin, I think I.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Like reverted after COVID because I did pageants. I was
fine with public speaking when on television, and then now I.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Just with pageants.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Though.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Can I ask when you're up there on the stage
in a pageant and you're like giving your not like
a speech, but like an answer to a question, which
is what you guys do? Right?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
You can't really see the crowd. It's isn't it just
like a black abyss?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
It depends on the where you're at, where you're Sometimes
you can, like in Miss USA you could see a
little bit. You can see the judges faces, you could
see the people in the first row, and uh, there's
no time for nerves. It's live television.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
It's a good answer. Was there ever a question that
you answered and afterwards you were like, I totally messed
that up?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Oh every time, because you're just kind of speaking out
of your butt basically, and you're like, Okay, I've got
sixty seconds before I get danged. Everyone's judging me, everyone's
critiquing every little thing I say. People typically make up
words like new words for the first time, and you're
just panicked.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Well especially too, it's like you have to talk for
almost exactly sixty seconds. If you talk for fifty, everyone's like, ooh.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
She's ing a point deductive for it's probably honestly thirty seconds,
but I think short and sweet, like fifteen is the
good mark.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Do you remember a specific answer that you gave?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
They were like, uh, I honestly can't remember my final
question at Miss USA, but yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
What was your talent?
Speaker 2 (29:38):
We didn't have one. We Miss USA was the one
owned by Donald Trump.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
We talked about this before, so Miss America was the
talent owner.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, but Miss USA, like I said, last week, Miss
USA resigned first time. Yeah, first time, and Miss USA
has ever resigned. And then Miss ten USA resigned two
days later, and it is so crazy. This new owner
just seems such a monster and it's just like bullying them.
And then I saw something.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
That he's worse than Donald Trump.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
She is, yes, well, no, I don't know. Actually Donald
was just so creepy. I don't know, I don't but
she is just like bullying them and speaking poorly about them.
The Miss teen USA couldn't speak to her without her
parents present because it got so bad and toxic. And
then Miss USA I saw an article she like went
to Miss USA and Miss Universe, the organization, and she
(30:25):
was like, hey, I was sexually harassed during this appearance.
I was in a car with this man who was
super inappropriate. And the response from the president was, well,
you need to expect that, like, get over at your
Miss USA. It's to be expected.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Like what damn?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
So it's it's a madness right now.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
That's probably partly why they resigned, oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
And she's just allegedly very mean to them.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Also, don't think it paid like only twenty thousand dollars
for the year something like really low.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
I think it is twenty yeah, like.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
It should be way. It should it be more. I
don't know, but like they do a lot of work, right,
like your friends on it, and she it seemed like
she was working really hard that entire year, yeah, NonStop,
for not a reasonable amount of money for how much
work she was.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Doing, right, And then they're supposed to make for your
housing When I did it, you got an apartment in
New York overlooking Central Park. Now it's like Miami and
you're supposed to get a car and all this stuff,
and they weren't fulfilling their prize package, and then they
weren't paying most of their employees. So it's pretty toxic.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yeah. Do you think pageants in general are just.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I think it's over you do.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, if you had a daughter, would you want her
to be pageants?
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I mean I only did it because I was so shy,
and it was a way to get me out of
my shyness. So if she was shy and wanted to,
but I don't, I don't know. It just messed me
up in a lot of ways. Like when I was fifteen,
I have a grown man telling me my thighs are
too big. You know, it's just a little gross.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
So what would you rather your daughter do?
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Soccer?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Soccer? Soccer was fun. Yeah, all the hot girls in
high school played soccer.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
That's what I wanted to be. But I did imagine
since theead.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think you're the
hottest girl only the entire world. But if a girl
in our high school did pageants, we probably would kind
of have laughed a little bit at it. Yeah, kind
of like why but our high school was just like
not really normal high school. Like the cheerleaders. No one
really cared about the cheerleaders all that much. It was
just like sports. If you weren't playing sports, you were
kind of, you know, not cool. Yeah maybe, yeah, a loser.
(32:22):
You're trying to say. Yeah, that what I'm trying to say.
I guess so. But now that I'm older, like if
I have a daughter or a son, I would want
them to be like in plays, and I would want
them to focus on painting, and I would make them
read a book every single you know, like that kind
of stuff. Whereas like when I was in high school,
that was the last thing on my mind. But now
that I'm in my thirties, I think like that type
of learning and competition could be really fun for them.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I agree, our kids are going to be musicians and
learn a lot of different languages.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, yeah, it's funny like you, Yeah, in high school
you're kind of like anti education, and then you get
a little older and you're like, oh my gosh, it's
probably like the best thing ever to be as big
good educatords you possibly can be. Yeah, I don't know,
And hey.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
If that's pageants, if we have a son and he
wants to be in pageants.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Bring it on.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I just think pageants are going to be gone fairly soon.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yeah, that probably will be seems like a relic of
the past.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
So no more pageants for the kids, I guess. Yeah,
what about like you could maybe like spin off like
an ethical pageant tree coaching here in the small town
that we live in.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well, Ben Higgins met one of the girls who's competing
for this year at Miss USA and introduced us and
was She was like, can you coach me? And I
was like, oh my god, I don't remember anything that
I can try. So I've been doing my best to
coach a tiny bit.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
I'm thinking when you get coached, like what do you
what do you coach?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Walking? Yes, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
One of my friends in LA was a walking coach.
Really yeah, And I was like, can you teach me?
Because I have made me? Yeah, I've been made fun
of how I walk for my entire life. If you
could just teach me how to walk for just a
thirty minute session, I'd be forever in your dad.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Well, you've never asked me.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, I kind of like, stop caring. I guess a
little bit about it.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
If you want to make fun of me for the
way that I walk, they're not people I want to
be hanging out with.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
A yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
The things that you harp on yourself about it are
so no.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I well, obviously I've got some trauma from it. It
was one of the things that people every day at
school would be like, Dean's walking like he's got a
bildo up his butt, and I'd be like, I don't
I promised. Do you want to see? It's just I've
got through torn acls. I got really tight hips.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Too, torn acls. Yeah, how are you walking?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Well? Like I've recovered from them at that point. But
you know.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I see, yeah, you have a great walks.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Great walk my gate, she said, I need a better gate.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
No, it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Don't lie to me.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I'm serious.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I could see your judgy eyes every time I walk
around the house like that guy's needs so much work.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
But sometimes you just stomp around the house like so loud.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah I got heavy heels, but not when you're sleeping.
I'm on the balls in my feet the entire time.
I'm like a little little fairy floating around the house.
Not a single sound has been made past nine pm
in this house when I'm walking around unless the door
is closed and I'm like getting another glass of whiskey
or something that. Yeah, maybe I stump a little bit sometimes,
but you can't hear through the doors.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah. Also, I've noticed you have been sleeping with your
sound machine lately.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
I've been slepping with headphones.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Oh, maybe it's like a fan that I heard this morning.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Yeah I can. Yeah, I just don't like that noise.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Well, it's funny because I've slept with the fan since
Dean and I started dating five years ago, and only recently,
like three months ago, he told me it bothered him.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I just don't like it. It's like kind of like nails
on a chalkboard for me. Get over it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
It's been four and a half years.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah, and I've had the worst leave of my life
for the past four and a half years. Before before
the Fay and I was sleeping like a baby every
single night. Tom Brady regrets doing the roast. It's so ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh really, did you see the roast?
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I tried watching it and I just didn't enjoy it.
For one second.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
I was wondering why I want to go put it
on Netflix and it stead her zoom watching and I
was like, I don't think I started this.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Well. I was listening to a podcast and they were
recapping it. Nicki Glazer was on it and she was
talking about it, and I love her.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, she's funny.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I can't believe what a pop quotes were phenomenon in
it became yeah everybody, it was just not.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Great to me. And then I wanted to see Nicki
and I wanted to see Kim but everyone else. I
was like, Oh, it's so mean.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
You don't like people being mean is what it is. Yes,
it's meant to be.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
It's just all joking, you know, it's just meant to
be a roast. But the idea. He said that he
regrets the way it affected his kids. It's like, bro,
I love you more than anything, but like, dude, chill out. Okay,
what do you mean the way it's affected your kids.
Nobody talked about your kids. Every time the jokes about
Giselle with the well the jiu jitsus teacher, Well, guess what,
(36:44):
it's a rose.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
They're joking. Yep, they're gonna joke that she's.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I didn't even know about that, did she really, I don't.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
She went on a trip with him after they divorced
or something, right, it was like very fast. So people
were like, oh, she obviously cheated, and it's like, who cares.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
They could have been separated, they were probably over for
a while, ale and just like, I don't know, it
doesn't really bother me, but I do. What bothers me
is the idea that Brady regrets it. What I think
happened is that Gizelle probably called him or talked to
him and was like, do you know what this is
doing to our kids and our family the way people
are talking to us about it now? And so he's
probably like, oh, like she's pissed off or you know,
(37:19):
all right, you know I regret doing it.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, wasn't there like a dating room or about them?
At one point?
Speaker 2 (37:26):
That's what she talked about, did Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Kim k Kim kay? Thank you Amy's.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Pop culture Kim Amy, I told you this?
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Do you know how I found out about that?
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Dave Portnoy from Barstool, Oh, because I follow Portnoy and
he's a huge swiftye And he posted about this song
called thank You Amy, which capitalizes the k I am
Kim so stupid, but very entertaining, very funny.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, and all of her comments are just Amy Amy
Amy Amy Amy are strong force.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
They are strong. Well. I think that's gonna do it
for this week's podcast. Yeah, Jared's got some sandwiches to
go bake up real quick for everyone.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Actually in front of house today.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I gotta make coffees. Okay.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
I tell everybody that Dean wants to come and just work,
not even promote it, so they're excited for you to
come and work a shift. I'm going to teach you
how to froth milk. What's minimum wage in Rhode Island fourteen?
Oh heck yeah, tell me about it, bro. Plus they
get tipped out nice. All right, you're gonna make the
most money you've made since you've done whatever brand deal
(38:41):
you did last I'm going to donate all my tips
to the nearest animal shelter.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
We're not going to make that much.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
We'll be like thirty bucks, but hey, thirty bucks towards
the home, you know, and pay.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
For a day it was worth of a dog's food. Yeah,
it'd be awesome. Yeah, we do need to figure that out.
I'm serious, Like, what's serious too about this? Actually because
we're going to Europe and then we have a wedding
in when are we going to Europe in September? And
then we have a wedding in Jersey in September, So
maybe around like September twenty first dish, I can come
(39:11):
in Barista for day September, Oh.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, because we'll yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
It'll be nice. Can I do that? Of course I
could do that. I can't be there for like the
weekend probably like the heavy shift, but I could be
like Monday morning, Monday morning.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
I fully expect you to walk through these doors eight am,
full black, closed toes shoes.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
What's your busiest day of the week? Is it the weekends?
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Really depends? Yeah, I mean Saturday definitely. Sales wise, is
our busiest day, highest volume, So I guess Saturday. Yeah,
but Mondays are pretty good. Mondays are decent. Depends, you know,
when does it start? It'll probably be done by then.
Maybe what's its face?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Golden Bachelor it would be, wouldn't it be? Isn't a
Bachelor's January? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Maybe Golden bachelortt Yeah, which they officially announced.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yeah. How far is it? How long does it take
to get from Jersey to Rhode Island. Probably like an hour, no,
about three hours via car via car. Yes, okay, that's
really not that bad. We could do that.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
It's not that bad at all, Man, make a day trip.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Is the weather still nice and end of September?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
September is really nice, very summer like perfect?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Yeah, I know. No, you guys got married in August, so.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yeah, it's very August, very similar weather to what you
felt that weekend. All right, put me down on the
books for September twenty fourth. All right, I'll start scheduling
it right now.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Perfect. I'll put you on the schedule. I'll put you
on shifts. No, what's our wedding anniversary. It's September twenty third.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Yes, yeah, well don't you're not working on the twenty third.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
I'll tell you that much. Yeah, I mean, hey, come
celebrate Devon Klen's first wedding anniversary Audrey's steak cast.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
You call in sick that day, that would be cool.
Let me come in and grilluz some mistakes for the customers.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
We don't have steaks. But come on, it's a special
day if you want, it's your wedding anniversary. Man, you're
not gonna let me grow some stakes in your restaurant
on my wedding anniversary. No, you'll set off the fire alarm.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
All right, we do around back. I guess all right,
that is gonna do it. We're going off on a
tangent here. Thank you guys so much for listening to
this week's episode of Suckers. I've been dean.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Oh we're doing that. I've been killen.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
We're not doing that.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
We're not doing that. Be sure to tune in next week,
or maybe we suck just a little bit less
This is Suckers Bell. I'm Dean Bell and I'm Jared
han An.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello everybody, and welcome to an all new episode of Suckers.
I am a polar Bear. Today we are joined by
my lovely wife here in studio in Colorado and Jared
from the back alleys of Audrey's out there in the island.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
It looks like back alley, back office. Just pretty depressing.
Look in here.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
What's going on? Jared? Why did we get you in
the in the the work office today? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
So an employee had to call out. She's fine, she
was in an accident. She's okay though. Most support thing,
but couldn't work. So I came into work today and
then here I am recording the podcast, recording Suckers live
from Audrey's.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Nice. Well, we're happy to have you. We're glad you
could join us despite all things being as they are.
So everything's good with her. You're saying, that's good.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Everything's good, you know. Ashley and I went to Journer
last night. I at Kapital Grill and Providence is for
some ever went to the Capitol Grill there. It was
very nice, very expensive. I got a bone in rabbi.
That was seventy four dollars just just for the rabbi.
It was pretty pretty good. Then you got to buy
the sides, but it was nice. We had a gift
card it was from Others Days, so we went out.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It was sidet the bar. It was really nice time.
What I don't understand about that, And don't get me wrong,
I do that often too. Like if Kaylin and I
go out and have a nice dinner, typically what I'll
order is the most expensive steak that I can get,
which is around that range of seventy five dollars. Yeah,
what I don't get about it is sometimes it's good,
sometimes it's not as good as it should be for
the price that you're paying for it. I'll just pay
twenty five dollars at the supermarket, grill it myself for
(01:41):
in ten minutes, and it's going to be perfect every
single time, as good. Yeah, as good, if not better,
because I have like the appreciation of knowing that I
cooked it for myself. That's but like I said, I
still order the steak whenever we have like a nice
dinner together. So I mean, I'm not faulting anyone for
doing that. Ice is the prices just get out of control. Sometimes.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's also like ordering a salad that costs thirty dollars,
it's like twenty dollars and then you had ten dollars
for chicken. Yeah, you could make a salad at home
for like five.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Some menu items there just don't seem proportionally priced. Like
I'll get a cheeseburger for twelve dollars because that's probably
about what I would spend if I went to the
store and got all the ingredients for it. French fries.
I'm not making French fries at home, so I'll gladly
buy some at the restaurant. But when I can capably
make something at home, like a steak, and like I said,
I still do it. So I'm kind of wait, you
can't make a cheeseburger. I can't. No, I guess I could.
(02:33):
I guess I could. But like you know, sometimes they've
got nice buns. I don't really know where the lettuce
is in the grocery store, So what am I going
to do about that? Yeah? Be healthy like that. Sometimes
they have like a kool aoli that they spread on it.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
All of these things you can make.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah, but what did Ashley order? I don't remember. Is
she like eating a bunch of crazy stuff because she's pregnant. No,
not crazy, so.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
She can't eat anything because she's pregnant. Like I had
shrimp cocktails. She couldn't have that. Uh, I guess. Like
she had a caesar salad with no anchovies. I remember that,
but salad, just the salad, which is very good. I
don't like anchovies anyway. I don't think she does either.
But I got the steak, I got the robot. If
you order caesar salad with no caesar, does it come
(03:16):
with dressing? Anchovies? Does it come with dressing?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Part of this caesar dressing, Yeah, most of the time.
But a lot of people ask if you want anchovies
on top of the salad?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Oh no, no, no, no, no no. In France it's
they do that. Actually, Scotti is that restaurant or that
sandwich place. They used to have chicken caesar salad specials
for lunch in high school and they always put it
on and I'd be like, what are these little fish
doing on my salad? I don't want these here. Very gross. Yeah,
but I love caesar dressing. It's one of my favorite things.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, it's it's good. It's very fattening. It's wonderful. So
you guys went golfing, I saw.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, Klin's making a run for the LPGA. Obviously. She's
actually pretty funny. She mentioned years ago. I'm not going
to put you in last year, don't worry.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
What did I mention?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
She mentioned years ago, she was like, I'd really learn
love how to learn how to play golf. I'd be like,
oh great, So I got her set a club. She's
a lefty, so they're a little harder to find. We
went to the driving range once and she was smacking
the ball, crushing it. She was doing really well. And
then I don't really think she ever thought about those
golf clubs ever again. And then yesterday when we were
when we went to the golf course, we like had
(04:25):
to do something for a garment who we're working with
on Instagram, and we're like, let's get some golf stuff.
All get my golf stuff. We can bring our clubs.
You can hit the ball a couple of times, and
every time we would go to hit the shot like
a new shot, like after she hits, she would go
hit a new shot and we'd have to unwrap the
club because the club had never been used before.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So yeah, even the cart guys we were they're like, well,
put these in your trunk. They're like, oh my god,
these have never been touched.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So then then I was like, we're just gonna use
the seven iron the entire way in which probably is
the best club for you right now anyways.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
But yeah, it was fun. But I've heard to never
let your husband teach you golf.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I've heard or teach your wife how to play golf.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yeah, so I don't really want to learn from you
for that reason.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
But you don't really want to learn from anyone. I
don't just don't think you want to learn.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, I do. I just need perfect conditions. I need
it to be perfectly sunny, perfectly warm. I want a
glassy rose.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You had all those things when we were there. It
was cloudy, yeah, it was seventy degrees out.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It was cloudy.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, and your husband was teaching you.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I guess.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
It's one of those things too, where it's like, I'd
love it if you learn how to play golf. We
could play occasionally together, but you know, Jared could probably
a test this too. One of the biggest appeals at
golf is like you're there with your boys. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Also, I couldn't even last nine rounds. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
That was another thing too. We were on this, just
finished the second hole, going to the third hole. She's like,
so what, we only have like one or two more
holes left? And I was like, no, yeah, there's nine holes, right,
and she goes, yeah, that was wasn't that seven or eight?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
That long?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That was too. We have seven more holes to go. Wow,
I think it's a lost cause.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
But no, I want to take lessons and then see
I've seen Aaron Limb, she's a host for E News.
She's been getting really into golf lessons and she was
just golfing, I think, with Bradley Cooper and like some
big A list guys and she was impressing them all.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
So Bradley Cooper Golf's Calen starts to.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Go, oh, no, no, but she just looks really good
doing it. So I want to look good doing it.
I want to look like I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
You look good until you start swinging, hey, and then
when you're done swinging, you start looking good again. You
look good around all the times that you're not hitting,
and you didn'tn't get me wrong. You didn't look bad
a couple of times, but get some lessons in you.
And this is coming from someone too that also looks
like my swing is atrocious too. So every time I
(06:37):
see a video of my swing, I'm like, oh my god,
I have zero athletic ability whatsoever. The fact that I
can even make contact is a miracle.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
M that's enough golf talk for me.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Okay, let's move on to the next thing. Kaylen's ready
to move on.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
What did you guys do for Mother's Day? Jared?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Not much.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I mean, we went to dinner last night Sunday. I worked,
but then I got her flowers, I made her brownies,
I got her card, and then we went on to there.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So pretty low key. Yeah, it was very nice.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
No, I mean, I like baking. I bake here, but
I also bake at home. But I mean I'm talking
about like I made Garret Delly brownie. So it's, you know,
really just mixing the batter with egg, vegetable oil, and
a little butter and then you've got brownies, you know,
pop it in at three seventy five, So pretty simple stuff.
(07:27):
I was going to decorate it, you know, and write
a happy Mother's Day on there with some sort of frosting.
But then I think that ruins the taste of the brownie.
You know, when you put like that red food coloring
or green food coloring on top to write out something,
I think it just doesn't taste good and it ruins
the taste of the brownie. And Ashley agreed, so I
(07:48):
explained that's why I didn't write anything on there, and
she appreciated that.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But it was nice.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
She got to hang out with her mom too. She
was down in Virginia over the weekend. I was there
last week, so she got to spend some time with
her on Mother's Day and her sister, which I know
she loves. And Dawson's been great. He's just been peau Dawson,
super happy, super positive, just like so loving, so outgoing.
You know, he throws his hissy fits, but those are fine.
(08:17):
Majority of the time. He's been awesome. So it's been
It's been very good. I'm dreading the second one coming
and just ruining everything.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I want to go back to the I want to
go back to the brownies real quick. I feel like
those brownies, the ones that you made, are they possibly
have the best shelf life of any baked good in
existence you make, because you know, you get like those
big glass kind of like what you basin things that
you bake them on right and the ends of it
get really nice and crusty and firm, and in middle
(08:46):
parts are so gooey and it's a big tray, so
you can't eat all of it at once, but you
like let it sit out on the counter for a
day or two days or three days, and every time
you go back to those brownies, they taste justice should
on day three than they do fresh out of the
of it. Yeah, do you guys agree with me?
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I don't really know, honestly, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You don't know? You just made some four days ago?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
No, no, no, I made him Monday, Monday? When the hell
did I make them Sunday's day? I had, so Sunday
night I made him. I had one yesterday and it
was still very fresh. So that's two days old, so
we're in a good start. But I feel like two
days old for a brownie is nothing. So I guess
(09:29):
you're right, just for the simple fact that I think
two days old for brownie is nothing which would equote,
you know, which would equal them having a long shelf
life because they got at least another week in there.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I just think those brownies are so I could eat
those brownies for breakfast and dinner every single day. We
kind of killing and I kind of have an issue whenever,
a conflict whenever, because she likes to bake cookies occasionally,
and I'll never say, notice some chocolate chip cookies, So
she'll bake them, ask me if I want some. Obviously
the answer is yes, But she really enjoys her cookies
(09:58):
a little soggy.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, No, No, that cooking in the mountains is different,
and I've told you this, it's you have to there's
like different temperatures and baking requirements. Me and Jess have
talked about this a lot too. And if I cook
them the way that it says it on the package,
they get super super burned. So I undercook them.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
But I thought you did that intentionally the last time
you made the cookies.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
No, I just don't want them to burn, so I
got them under cooked instead.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
So but is it every time you bake cookies now
or do you add like a couple of minutes to
the timing?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Interesting?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Why is baking cookies in the mountains different.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I don't know. I was talking to Jess and Trista
Sutter about this something with the elevation.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Well, yeah, the air is thinner, there's less air molecules
to interact making this up. Yeah, but I feel like
I'm probably close enough to be right.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Well, I would imagine it has something to do with
the elevation.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
There's less air molecules and heat molecules to interact with
the baking ingredients to make it rise as fast.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
But Trista, because before we moved here, Trista and Jess,
we're talking an Trista was like, you have to google
separate mountain instructions and like temperature of in everything.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
When I go backpacking and I eat those like dehydrated meals,
it'll say boil water and put in and let's stand
for twelve minutes. Add five minutes for every five thousand
feet of elevation. You're at camping at thirteen thousand feet,
you'd have to add you know, thirteen minutes essentially to it.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
But I think it cooks faster here. Am I wrong?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
I don't know. Actually, I don't know. It's a work
in progress.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
That's like, yeah, no, I think it's slower because that's
like boiling noodles essentially would be the same thing. But yeah,
now that you mentioned, I'm not really sure exactly why
that is. It's definitely an elevation thing, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
But why do we blame everything on elevation here?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
But that's just because everything can be blamed on elevation here.
But else do we blame on elevation?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Well, my mom was here last weekend and she had
one beer and she's like, whoa, I'm crazy And I
was like, well, it's elevation.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Elevation. Yeah, hey, you were really mean to me today. Elevation.
Why was she meet to elevation? Man, it was just
she's she was so elevated yesterday, so elevating. No, she was.
She's always an angel to me. I'm just saying whenever
you can just use it as an excuse for anything
these days. But yeah, yeah, golf was good. Mother's Day
(12:22):
was good. Kaylen's mom was out here for Mother's Day.
They seemed like they had a great weekend together.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, it was really fun. I was at Pilate's and
then my Ploates friends were like, they're a local restaurant
is doing a Mother's Day floral workshop. So it was
my mom, my grandma, and my grandma's best friend and
we all went and made floral's for floral arrangements. It
was it was really fun, cute, quaint weekend.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. Nice. Also, I feel like we don't get to
see your mom offtit enough, so whenever she's here, it's
great that you guys get to spend some time like
that together.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, she's trying to move to Denver. Hopefully by next
year she'll be a little bit closer to us, which
would be nice because and we all know I hate
for Jay. Yes, so I'm not going back there anytime soon.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Be nice for me too. I would love to have
a mom again. I mean I have one again, but
it'd be nice to have one close. I got dear, Joe,
you got dere. But she's far. She's in Vegas, she's
in Denver. Yeah, she's back and forth. Yeah, still far.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, so we'll see.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
But yeah, that's good that you guys had fun.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, very fun. Just showing him around town. We didn't
go into Aspin at all, but showed him around our
little cute town and they had a blast.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm like, really bad with parents. Like even on your
mom's in town, I just always kind of feel awkward,
like I don't belong, like I'm not allowed to have
a parent what. I don't know, That's just how I feel.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
My mom's obsessive. So Dean met us for Mother's Day
on Sunday and she was so she was like, wait,
Dean's coming. She got so excited and so happy anytime
she gets to see it, she's just so joyful.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Just feel weird. I feel like a burden. Even like
yesterday I was at the gym and I saw Austin's mom, who,
like I lived with them for a summer when I
was in high school. And I'm like, I'm like, okay,
Like how do I stop? How do I end this conversation?
Like I'm I'm great, like happy to see you. But
I just always feel like I need to like escape
whenever I'm around parents.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
No, it's always awkward saying hi to someone at the
gym too, yeah, because you have to like wave them down.
They have the EarPods in. We're all working out, we
don't feel even though we're working out, we feel terrible
about ourselves because we're working out. It's like I want
to I don't want to talk to anybody. I want
to get in, I want to get out. I don't
want to be here. You don't want to be here.
It's great seeing you. I don't want to talk to you.
I don't want to delay this anymore. Let's just move
(14:24):
on with our lives.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
That's true. That's true.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, it seems like everyone goes to our gym. We
see we run into everyone from town at our gym. Well,
I run into your friends, your golf buddies, our realtor,
Austin's mom, Austin's dad.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
You've seen Elson's dad there?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
No, but Boston told me his dad is there. It's
a small town we live in.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
It was pretty funny. I saw Austin's mom at the gym,
and then I left the gym and went to Starbucks.
And while I was in line at Starbucks, I was
behind Austin's dad.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
It's so crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And then I went to the golf course just to
hit a bucket of balls, and Austin was at.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
The Really, yeah, it is. It's so crazy how small
this town is. Because I get my nails done and
the person who owns the nail salon it's also a
hair Salon turns out to be the owner of one
of the houses we were under contract with. And who else. Oh,
I went to lunch yesterday with another girl we were
(15:19):
under contract with her house, and she's like, yeah, that
was my house, Olivia. And then also was at lunch
with a girl whose brother owned the wedding venue we
got married at, very small.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Small town. So you gotta you can't embarrass yourself too
much because.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Can't blame anything on elevation.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah. Well, it's just like you know, in La, if
you embarrass yourself, I mean, you're not really embarrassing yourself
all that often. But like me, in my personal experience,
if I do something embarrassing in La at a bar,
I'd be like, oh, that was really embarrassing. Well, I'm
never going to see any of those people ever again.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Move on to a new friend group.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah well yeah, and even like you know, if you're
with your friend group, they'll like laugh at you, but
like the strangers probably think it's really weird.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Here, it's like you probably are going to run to
that person very frequently if you do something embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
It's crazy small, but I like it, I asked.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Kaylen Eilther night. What her favorite things about living in
Colorado are And would you say fresh air?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh, I actually can't remember fresh air. I like how
nice people are. It just makes me so happy to
have such a great community of people.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Like give us an example.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Well, I went to the dandelion festival and everyone's just
so proud to live here. And Dina telling me so
that we have a dandelion festival every year, which is
when they stop spraying pesticides. So now it's a celebration.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, those are the only thing to celebrate anything these days.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yeah, it's just cute.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
This is the day we stopped spraying pesticides. Let's celebrate
a big day.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, I don't know. It's yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
And the weather's starting to get nice out here too,
like it's been even though you guys had up blizzard
last week. Oh week, Yeah, we had a blozer last
week and now it's getting nice again, which is good.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Denver's so weird Colorado. Excuse me, Colorado is so weird
with weather. One day it's well, Denver's definitely weird too,
but one day it's snowing, and then at least here
there's some sort of progression there It's just like I
feel like thirty and snowy one day, and the next
day it's seventy and sunny, and then it stays seventy
(17:26):
and sunny. But then you'll have a thirty degree day
with snow there. That's why elevation keeps you on your toes. Yeah,
although it's tricky because I want to, like pluy, I
want to turn her outside water on, but I don't
want to turn it on because then, like what if
it freezes one night?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah. Well, I had lunch with the girls yesterday and
they told me it went through mid June. Last year.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
The snow last year was an exceptionally snowy spring. Though,
take it from someone that was climbing mountains in the spring.
It was very very snowy out there. This one actually
isn't so bad. But I do want to Yeah, there's yeah,
it doesn't. We want to climb some mountains and I
can't climb in center. I can't climb it. Well, I
was like, ah, no one cares about that, but I'll
say anyways, I do want to start cimbing some mountains,
but I can't climb any probably until July.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
What up, bummer?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
What am I supposed to do until July. I just
play golf every day. Fine, I guess twist my own. Yeah,
oh god, so's terrible. I'm actually going on a golf
trip this weekend with Ben and Wells.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So he's been looking forward to this since before Christmas.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, we've had playing probably since like August.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Where are you guys going?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
We're going to Abandon Dunes in Oregon.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Oh no idea?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah. Well so it is like the pre well not
the but like it is an incredible golf destination. Impossible
to get reservations. The fact that we even have them
as crazy to me. You have to, like you have
to book it out a year in advance. That's why
I've been so excited about it for so long.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
So you guys only playing one round or are you
playing multiple?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Now we're there for two full days. We're playing two
rounds each day. You have to walk, no carts allowed, U.
Ben and Wells obviously are really good, and Wells's brother
is going to be there. He's really good. So I've
been trying to play a lot of golf to like
sort of be able to compete with them, and it's
not really going super well.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
But it was funny because Brett bought the tickets and
then he called Dean and he's like, hey, are you
free these dates? I'm gonna give this to Wells for Christmas.
And then Dean gets a call from Wells on Christmas
and he's like, hey, man, do you want to come
to Banda Dunes? And he's like, I was invited back
in August, but.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Sure, yeah, yeah. I think I might blew that one
a little bit, Like I think Bred didn't give me
any like information on whether I should be like excited
about the invite or shit, Like you know what I mean,
maybe you should have been like, hey, by the way,
he's gonna probably call you and invite you, and act
like I haven't already invited he invites you, Yeah, yeah,
exactly exactly. But yeah, so that'll be fun. But you know,
(19:46):
no one really cares about golf here, I guess, so.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
I think it'll be a great weekend for you. I
wish Jess wasn't dog sitting because then we could hang.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But I thought your friend's coming up into town.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
She is marrying someone, so no, I'll just be home
alone all weekend.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
What do you mean she's marrying someone?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Is marrying someone she is like the officiant.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
MM, very cool. Yeah. If you were to ask to
officiate a wedding, would you do it? No, Oh, you
would say yes.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I I just don't love public speaking.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
You would do it, though, you would say yes.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I like the dual thing, like maybe if me and
Dean did it together.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
And then you chirp in for and then I just
a moment, and then afterwards everyone's like, Kaylen did such
a great job up there, and no one even acknowledges anything. Gosh,
marriage is just the best. Jared, would you have you
ever officiated a wedding?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I have not. I've only given I've gave a speech
at my buddy's wedding in Mexico.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Four years ago.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
That's crazy those twenty twenty was four years ago, and
then I just recently gave a speech at next wedding.
But I've never officiated, and I don't think I will
ever officiate. I can't think of anybody who'd asked me
that I'm close enough that's.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Not didn't Ben do that at a fans wedding or
something like that. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I mean, I'd be honored, But at the same time,
it's like I don't know these people. Ye, so how
can I like give a great It would just be
because I was on TV, which I get is.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Also pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Like if Rob Thomas was like, Hey, I want to
officiate your wedding and be like, yeah, man, that'd be
the coolest thing. Ever, you don't know anything about me,
but I know so much about you. But at the
same time, like, how good could it be? Because like,
I don't if I officiated a wedding for a fan,
even though a fan of the show, not a fan
of us, but like, it would just be I wouldn't
be able to do a good job.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I remember what it was. We were in a pebble
beach in February and Chris Harrison was asked by a
fan to officiate their wedding and he said yes. I
was like, that's the coolest thing. Everson just reached out
to Chris Harrison asking I think, I'm like ninety percent
sure the story is true. Some random fan reached out
asking Chris and Lauren to be there at their wedding
and for Chris to officiate, and he said yes. He's like, yeah,
(22:04):
it's next week. I'm super nervous. I'm like, wow, you
don't even know these people, like you could mess up
and that nothing will affect you negatively. And he's like, yeah,
but I just really want to do a good job.
Give Chris some props for that. Yeah, he's a bonafide celebrity.
Oh yeah, we're very we're fake celebrities. Could you imagine
like growing up watching The Bachelor, being a huge fan
(22:24):
of the show, and then getting married and just randomly
reaching out to Chris Harrison to officiate your wedding and
him saying, yes, that's pretty cool. It's honestly such a
cool Probably was such a cool experience for that person.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I don't think he'd say us for us, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
He probably would have. Yeah, maybe I don't know who
officiated your wedding. Again, it wasn't it your It was
a lot. It was a lot, that's right, Yeah, it
was a lot. I like, I like when people have
like a personal friend officiate, Like we just knew he
would do the best job. You know, he was there.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
In terms of our story from real for the whole thing,
you know, even if he was, you know, being a
dick on the show sometimes, like he was still very
much involved in there. And then you know, we'd always
see him after the show and get dinner with him together,
and so yeah, he was just very integral and you know,
important to us. And we also were like because initially
(23:21):
it was gonna be Tanner, Tanner was going to marry us,
and then even Tanner was like, you should have a
lot officiate you guys, cause he's going to do such
a better job than me and you're not hurting my feelings.
And we're like, all right, we'll go with Alan.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
But also it wasn't Tanner like about to have a
baby Jade and Tanner.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Yeah, and they didn'tven come to the wedding, so it
worked out. And then Jade got pregnant and he was like,
well it actually worked out where I you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Know if I'm gonna be able to go.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
So and Alan was super funny a line texted us
kind of a lot and was like, just tell me
what I need to do, Like tell me if I
need to break Tanner's leg, I will in order to
officiate this wedding. So it was cool that Alan wanted
you so badly, which made us also want Alan to
officiate it.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Such a sweet, sweet man.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
How far down that list was I for officiating? Who
I mean? You were pretty low? Hellow fight? I guess, well,
here's so where's Nick and where's Dean?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
No, I don't need to be compared to Nick.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I'm just curious where I was A great question. Nick
was probably pretty close to the top.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
That's fine. I'm not trying to I'm trying to have
any beef with Nick. I'm just curious how many people
would have had to gotten sick for me to step
up and officiate the wedding fifty I don't know.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
No, no, no, no, I don't think it would have
been that far down, because you know, we would obviously
looked at our wedding party next or family members who
would have and.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I would have dad if you got to any of
the clergy in the area, and if like they weren't available,
then you could go.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
No, I think you would have been.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I think you would have been pretty up there.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
It would have been like you would have been.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I think you probably would have been top five, top ten, Oh,
top ten. I think top five was generous. I'll be
top ten for sure.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Well, because I was trying to think, I was like
Nick would probably be up there, just because he would
do a very good job.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
But honestly, like who else would marry us?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I have no idea, Like I wouldn't want my parents
to do it or were parents, And then like a
lot of my friends wouldn't want to do it. You
know a lot of the guys that are not applauded
to the franchise, like by Buddy Kenny or Chad or
Paul or Eric.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
There's no shot.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
So it really would have came down Ben Ben would
have been up there.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Ben Ben would have been up there. That would have
been right behind a lawn probably.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, Ben Ben might have been number three on that list,
behind Tanner and a lawn. So then you got Ben
Nick is probably up there. But dude, you would have
been out there too, because we would have been like,
all right, who's gonna do a good job? And who
knows us? And you you hit both that criteria.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I'll take it. I remember I have given what like
one speech at a wedding at my brother's and I
kind of but definitely didn't write anything down. I just
kind of like hearing my talking points, I thought I
was hilarious. I don't think I got a single laugh
the entire time.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I think you did. Yes, he did.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
No, I don't remember. I just remember. I remember.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
It was like kind of an odd crowd.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
No they I mean they're all my brother's friends.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Well some of them just like weren't laughing at anything.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
They were like, very stiff laugh.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Come on, I'm pouring my heart out up here. Give
me a couple laughs.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It was a stiff night.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Before I went up to give my speech at Nick's wedding,
I was with Joe and Ben and I was like, listen,
you guys laugh and you laugh hard, because if you
start laughing, everybody else will start laughing. So I told
him the first line, you know where I talk about Nick,
me and the pain in the ass, And I was like,
when I hit that note, I better hear both of
(26:48):
you loud, Like, this is not this is no time
for jokes. This is not mess around time. Okay, this
is friend time. I need you there, I need you laughing.
This has to happen.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
They laughed. I couldn't hear it, though. Definitely helps to
have some plants in the audience. I think like I
was making some good jokes at that wedding, and Kayln
was just silent as a bug I was laughing right,
hagging me out to drive.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Me and Avery were both sitting next to each other
laugh and so hard.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I guess you were kind of like on the away
from the crowd.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
You were in the crowd. Yeah, that's fair. I used
to have if you're a public speaking But then I
just kind of stopped caring so much, I think, and I.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Still made that you went on TV.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I honestly think that was a big part of it. Yeah,
that definitely, I can see why. That definitely helped, But
there's probably more to it than that. I just remember
I think I probably talked about this on this podcast before,
but like in college, when you're giving a presentation in
class and you're so nervous for it, and then like
you're sitting there waiting for your turn when all the
other presenters are going and like you're not even paying
a lick of attention to it. So I was My
(27:48):
concept of thinking was always like, if I'm not paying
attention to them, they're not paying attention to me, why
would I be nervous about saying something that no one's
even paying attention to. I'll just say whatever and take
the seat and move on. With my life, you know, agree,
But yeah, being on TV has definitely helped kind of,
but not for you. It sounds like Kaitlin, I think I.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Like reverted after COVID because I did pageants. I was
fine with public speaking when on television, and then now I.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Just with pageants.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Though.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Can I ask when you're up there on the stage
in a pageant and you're like giving your not like
a speech, but like an answer to a question, which
is what you guys do? Right?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
You can't really see the crowd. It's isn't it just
like a black abyss?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
It depends on the where you're at, where you're Sometimes
you can, like in Miss USA you could see a
little bit. You can see the judges faces, you could
see the people in the first row, and uh, there's
no time for nerves. It's live television.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
It's a good answer. Was there ever a question that
you answered and afterwards you were like, I totally messed
that up?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Oh every time, because you're just kind of speaking out
of your butt basically, and you're like, Okay, I've got
sixty seconds before I get danged. Everyone's judging me, everyone's
critiquing every little thing I say. People typically make up
words like new words for the first time, and you're
just panicked.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Well especially too, it's like you have to talk for
almost exactly sixty seconds. If you talk for fifty, everyone's like, ooh.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
She's ing a point deductive for it's probably honestly thirty seconds,
but I think short and sweet, like fifteen is the
good mark.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Do you remember a specific answer that you gave?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
They were like, uh, I honestly can't remember my final
question at Miss USA, but yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
What was your talent?
Speaker 2 (29:38):
We didn't have one. We Miss USA was the one
owned by Donald Trump.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
We talked about this before, so Miss America was the
talent owner.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, but Miss USA, like I said, last week, Miss
USA resigned first time. Yeah, first time, and Miss USA
has ever resigned. And then Miss ten USA resigned two
days later, and it is so crazy. This new owner
just seems such a monster and it's just like bullying them.
And then I saw something.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
That he's worse than Donald Trump.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
She is, yes, well, no, I don't know. Actually Donald
was just so creepy. I don't know, I don't but
she is just like bullying them and speaking poorly about them.
The Miss teen USA couldn't speak to her without her
parents present because it got so bad and toxic. And
then Miss USA I saw an article she like went
to Miss USA and Miss Universe, the organization, and she
(30:25):
was like, hey, I was sexually harassed during this appearance.
I was in a car with this man who was
super inappropriate. And the response from the president was, well,
you need to expect that, like, get over at your
Miss USA. It's to be expected.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Like what damn?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
So it's it's a madness right now.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
That's probably partly why they resigned, oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
And she's just allegedly very mean to them.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Also, don't think it paid like only twenty thousand dollars
for the year something like really low.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
I think it is twenty yeah, like.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
It should be way. It should it be more. I
don't know, but like they do a lot of work, right,
like your friends on it, and she it seemed like
she was working really hard that entire year, yeah, NonStop,
for not a reasonable amount of money for how much
work she was.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Doing, right, And then they're supposed to make for your
housing When I did it, you got an apartment in
New York overlooking Central Park. Now it's like Miami and
you're supposed to get a car and all this stuff,
and they weren't fulfilling their prize package, and then they
weren't paying most of their employees. So it's pretty toxic.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yeah. Do you think pageants in general are just.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I think it's over you do.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, if you had a daughter, would you want her
to be pageants?
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I mean I only did it because I was so shy,
and it was a way to get me out of
my shyness. So if she was shy and wanted to,
but I don't, I don't know. It just messed me
up in a lot of ways. Like when I was fifteen,
I have a grown man telling me my thighs are
too big. You know, it's just a little gross.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
So what would you rather your daughter do?
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Soccer?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Soccer? Soccer was fun. Yeah, all the hot girls in
high school played soccer.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
That's what I wanted to be. But I did imagine
since theead.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think you're the
hottest girl only the entire world. But if a girl
in our high school did pageants, we probably would kind
of have laughed a little bit at it. Yeah, kind
of like why but our high school was just like
not really normal high school. Like the cheerleaders. No one
really cared about the cheerleaders all that much. It was
just like sports. If you weren't playing sports, you were
kind of, you know, not cool. Yeah maybe, yeah, a loser.
(32:22):
You're trying to say. Yeah, that what I'm trying to say.
I guess so. But now that I'm older, like if
I have a daughter or a son, I would want
them to be like in plays, and I would want
them to focus on painting, and I would make them
read a book every single you know, like that kind
of stuff. Whereas like when I was in high school,
that was the last thing on my mind. But now
that I'm in my thirties, I think like that type
of learning and competition could be really fun for them.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I agree, our kids are going to be musicians and
learn a lot of different languages.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, yeah, it's funny like you, Yeah, in high school
you're kind of like anti education, and then you get
a little older and you're like, oh my gosh, it's
probably like the best thing ever to be as big
good educatords you possibly can be. Yeah, I don't know,
And hey.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
If that's pageants, if we have a son and he
wants to be in pageants.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Bring it on.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I just think pageants are going to be gone fairly soon.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yeah, that probably will be seems like a relic of
the past.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
So no more pageants for the kids, I guess. Yeah,
what about like you could maybe like spin off like
an ethical pageant tree coaching here in the small town
that we live in.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well, Ben Higgins met one of the girls who's competing
for this year at Miss USA and introduced us and
was She was like, can you coach me? And I
was like, oh my god, I don't remember anything that
I can try. So I've been doing my best to
coach a tiny bit.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
I'm thinking when you get coached, like what do you
what do you coach?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Walking? Yes, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
One of my friends in LA was a walking coach.
Really yeah, And I was like, can you teach me?
Because I have made me? Yeah, I've been made fun
of how I walk for my entire life. If you
could just teach me how to walk for just a
thirty minute session, I'd be forever in your dad.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Well, you've never asked me.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, I kind of like, stop caring. I guess a
little bit about it.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
If you want to make fun of me for the
way that I walk, they're not people I want to
be hanging out with.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
A yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
The things that you harp on yourself about it are
so no.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I well, obviously I've got some trauma from it. It
was one of the things that people every day at
school would be like, Dean's walking like he's got a
bildo up his butt, and I'd be like, I don't
I promised. Do you want to see? It's just I've
got through torn acls. I got really tight hips.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Too, torn acls. Yeah, how are you walking?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Well? Like I've recovered from them at that point. But
you know.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I see, yeah, you have a great walks.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Great walk my gate, she said, I need a better gate.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
No, it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Don't lie to me.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I'm serious.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I could see your judgy eyes every time I walk
around the house like that guy's needs so much work.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
But sometimes you just stomp around the house like so loud.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah I got heavy heels, but not when you're sleeping.
I'm on the balls in my feet the entire time.
I'm like a little little fairy floating around the house.
Not a single sound has been made past nine pm
in this house when I'm walking around unless the door
is closed and I'm like getting another glass of whiskey
or something that. Yeah, maybe I stump a little bit sometimes,
but you can't hear through the doors.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah. Also, I've noticed you have been sleeping with your
sound machine lately.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
I've been slepping with headphones.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Oh, maybe it's like a fan that I heard this morning.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Yeah I can. Yeah, I just don't like that noise.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Well, it's funny because I've slept with the fan since
Dean and I started dating five years ago, and only recently,
like three months ago, he told me it bothered him.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I just don't like it. It's like kind of like nails
on a chalkboard for me. Get over it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
It's been four and a half years.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah, and I've had the worst leave of my life
for the past four and a half years. Before before
the Fay and I was sleeping like a baby every
single night. Tom Brady regrets doing the roast. It's so ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh really, did you see the roast?
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I tried watching it and I just didn't enjoy it.
For one second.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
I was wondering why I want to go put it
on Netflix and it stead her zoom watching and I
was like, I don't think I started this.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Well. I was listening to a podcast and they were
recapping it. Nicki Glazer was on it and she was
talking about it, and I love her.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, she's funny.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I can't believe what a pop quotes were phenomenon in
it became yeah everybody, it was just not.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Great to me. And then I wanted to see Nicki
and I wanted to see Kim but everyone else. I
was like, Oh, it's so mean.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
You don't like people being mean is what it is. Yes,
it's meant to be.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
It's just all joking, you know, it's just meant to
be a roast. But the idea. He said that he
regrets the way it affected his kids. It's like, bro,
I love you more than anything, but like, dude, chill out. Okay,
what do you mean the way it's affected your kids.
Nobody talked about your kids. Every time the jokes about
Giselle with the well the jiu jitsus teacher, Well, guess what,
(36:44):
it's a rose.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
They're joking. Yep, they're gonna joke that she's.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I didn't even know about that, did she really, I don't.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
She went on a trip with him after they divorced
or something, right, it was like very fast. So people
were like, oh, she obviously cheated, and it's like, who cares.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
They could have been separated, they were probably over for
a while, ale and just like, I don't know, it
doesn't really bother me, but I do. What bothers me
is the idea that Brady regrets it. What I think
happened is that Gizelle probably called him or talked to
him and was like, do you know what this is
doing to our kids and our family the way people
are talking to us about it now? And so he's
probably like, oh, like she's pissed off or you know,
(37:19):
all right, you know I regret doing it.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, wasn't there like a dating room or about them?
At one point?
Speaker 2 (37:26):
That's what she talked about, did Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Kim k Kim kay? Thank you Amy's.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Pop culture Kim Amy, I told you this?
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Do you know how I found out about that?
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Dave Portnoy from Barstool, Oh, because I follow Portnoy and
he's a huge swiftye And he posted about this song
called thank You Amy, which capitalizes the k I am
Kim so stupid, but very entertaining, very funny.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, and all of her comments are just Amy Amy
Amy Amy Amy are strong force.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
They are strong. Well. I think that's gonna do it
for this week's podcast. Yeah, Jared's got some sandwiches to
go bake up real quick for everyone.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Actually in front of house today.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I gotta make coffees. Okay.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
I tell everybody that Dean wants to come and just work,
not even promote it, so they're excited for you to
come and work a shift. I'm going to teach you
how to froth milk. What's minimum wage in Rhode Island fourteen?
Oh heck yeah, tell me about it, bro. Plus they
get tipped out nice. All right, you're gonna make the
most money you've made since you've done whatever brand deal
(38:41):
you did last I'm going to donate all my tips
to the nearest animal shelter.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
We're not going to make that much.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
We'll be like thirty bucks, but hey, thirty bucks towards
the home, you know, and pay.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
For a day it was worth of a dog's food. Yeah,
it'd be awesome. Yeah, we do need to figure that out.
I'm serious, Like, what's serious too about this? Actually because
we're going to Europe and then we have a wedding
in when are we going to Europe in September? And
then we have a wedding in Jersey in September, So
maybe around like September twenty first dish, I can come
(39:11):
in Barista for day September, Oh.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, because we'll yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
It'll be nice. Can I do that? Of course I
could do that. I can't be there for like the
weekend probably like the heavy shift, but I could be
like Monday morning, Monday morning.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
I fully expect you to walk through these doors eight am,
full black, closed toes shoes.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
What's your busiest day of the week? Is it the weekends?
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Really depends? Yeah, I mean Saturday definitely. Sales wise, is
our busiest day, highest volume, So I guess Saturday. Yeah,
but Mondays are pretty good. Mondays are decent. Depends, you know,
when does it start? It'll probably be done by then.
Maybe what's its face?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Golden Bachelor it would be, wouldn't it be? Isn't a
Bachelor's January? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Maybe Golden bachelortt Yeah, which they officially announced.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yeah. How far is it? How long does it take
to get from Jersey to Rhode Island. Probably like an hour, no,
about three hours via car via car. Yes, okay, that's
really not that bad. We could do that.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
It's not that bad at all, Man, make a day trip.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Is the weather still nice and end of September?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
September is really nice, very summer like perfect?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Yeah, I know. No, you guys got married in August, so.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yeah, it's very August, very similar weather to what you
felt that weekend. All right, put me down on the
books for September twenty fourth. All right, I'll start scheduling
it right now.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Perfect. I'll put you on the schedule. I'll put you
on shifts. No, what's our wedding anniversary. It's September twenty third.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Yes, yeah, well don't you're not working on the twenty third.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
I'll tell you that much. Yeah, I mean, hey, come
celebrate Devon Klen's first wedding anniversary Audrey's steak cast.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
You call in sick that day, that would be cool.
Let me come in and grilluz some mistakes for the customers.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
We don't have steaks. But come on, it's a special
day if you want, it's your wedding anniversary. Man, you're
not gonna let me grow some stakes in your restaurant
on my wedding anniversary. No, you'll set off the fire alarm.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
All right, we do around back. I guess all right,
that is gonna do it. We're going off on a
tangent here. Thank you guys so much for listening to
this week's episode of Suckers. I've been dean.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Oh we're doing that. I've been killen.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
We're not doing that.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
We're not doing that. Be sure to tune in next week,
or maybe we suck just a little bit less
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